Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, your wait is over. On Saturday, April 22nd in the Year of Our Lord 2023, after six long months, the reigning, defending, undisputed, best Social Co-Ed Football Experience of all time, the TSL, will return! Starting tomorrow, 52 teams across 7 competitive divisions will descend upon the Lenny Alba Fields behind The Angry Buffalo @ The Rose Garden as the Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins anew.
For those of you that don’t know me, I’m The Godfather. For nearly 12 years I’ve provided the TSL with expert insights, nearly flawless game predictions, and perhaps spilled the tea about the behind the scenes stuff going on in the league. I used to play in the league many moons ago, but unfortunately life has taken me in a different direction: Des Moines, Iowa. I live in my log cabin with my family here, and in an effort to stay a part of the league, I’ve been writing this article. (Okay, and maybe I have a journalism degree I’m not using, so this sort of justifies it to me as well.) It used to be a lot easier to do this, as Lenny, Rameer, Topper, and a host of other super secret league informants used to send me TONS of information that made writing this article a breeze.
Now, due to the tragic losses the TSL has been through the last few years, most of the information I get comes from you, the players of the league. It’s really simple. If you have someone on your team that’s just balling out, and deserves recognition? You email me and tell me about them. If there’s a secret B’s Brother love triangle forming between him and two other ladies of the league? You give me that info immediately. If you want to call out Bobby McConnell for being a weirdo before your big game against him? This is the place (Hey Jonny Football!). The point is, I love chatting with league members, whether they’re the captain of a juggernaut D1 squad, or the D6 guy who’s new to the league that got Mossed by one of our amazing females that we have here. Give me all the information, and you’ll get the publicity you seek.
So about a week ago it was time to start warming up for this article. It’s always a highly sought after publication after all, I go to sign into my email and see who messaged me over the offseason (There’s usually a few of you that pop in to say hello). And the craziest thing happened. I couldn’t sign in to my mailbox. Figuring Topper had to reset my password over the winter or something, I reached out to him only to find that my old email has been shut down. For super important Topper legal reasons, apparently, we’re having to move websites and stuff. And that means I have to move my email address. I don’t like change, but here we are. So from here on out, if you’re going to email me, I’ll need you to reach out to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
I know, I don’t like it either, but as always, go yell at Topper. And if Topper isn’t there, go yell at Travis Cleavenger-Bernal, because most of the league already loves yelling at him anyway. Change is scary, but it’s not all bad. I’ve spent the last week talking to Topper and Jeff Krol a lot about everything and there’s still some cool things happening. Topper isn’t gone forever (as evidenced by the photos he was sending me of him at the recent Breakfast Club draft), so calm down. And yeah, Jeff is taking the lead on all things that Topper doesn’t want to do anymore like emailing captains, setting up the waiver system, etc, etc. I guess there’s a new website on the way, and maybe even a new logo and other fun surprises. If anything, things will be significantly more efficient around the TSL, and Topper will be free to start up his own winery, but in reality he’ll just get another dog or two and still have pool parties for league members.
What else do we need to touch on? Ah yes, B’s Brother should be back in full force. I believe Cookie and Elmo both signed long term contract extensions as well. The Breakfast Club is back and the teams look about as even as they ever have! The league has seen some interesting roster shuffling, we actually have a full D1, and some WNY Social Co-Ed Football Legends have finally joined the TSL. The podcast will be back, so if you want to be on the show, let someone know! The TSL QB Power Rankings Committee will be back. There is talk that The Sentinel may not have renewed their contract this season, so if you’re in the mood to write a weekly article (or even just one) that we toss up on the website with your own thoughts on everything, let Jeff, Travis, Joe K, Garrett, Elmo, B’s Brother, 40 Year Plan Guy, Topper, Langley, or whoever else seems moderately important to you know, and we can make it happen. This league runs on its players, so your help will always be welcomed.
That is a lot of nonsense. And we haven’t even gotten into what you’re really all here for: the football and my expert analysis. So, let’s get to it.
D1:
Championship Odds:
Legends (4-1)
Eyes Downtown (4-1)
Sticky Bandits (6-1)
Tight Ends In Motion (10-1)
Losing Streak (12-1)
Scared Hitless (20-1)
Frodo Swaggins (25-1)
Grey Hair Don’t Care (100-1)
Preseason Hype: Yes, you’re seeing this correctly. The toughest division in Social Co-Ed Football is back to heights we haven’t seen in years! After a few “weak” years with only 6 teams, D1 is back up to 8 teams, and for the most part we realistically have 5-6 teams that can definitely win this thing. We’ll start at the top with the Legends. Travis Cleavenger-Bernal has been Rameer Reincarnated with his ability to steal other teams’ best players the last few seasons as the Legends ran over a historically weak D1. But now, like any team in a championship window, he’s losing players as Chris Nelson has left, Boccio claims to be “not playing” (which is code for “Diana doesn’t want me to get hurt before the wedding”, which is ironic considering her current state), and I think I was just told that Heather is moving away from the area. Tough losses, so of course Travis went out and signed Melanie Linsmair and Shbend to cover the losses. The Legends aren’t as good as they’ve been in the past, and the competition around them is better. The point? D1 is wide open. Sensing the blood in the water, Bobby has more than likely spent all winter forcing his team to practice so they can be at their best once the season kicks off. Yes, he’s insane, but at the same time he knows what he’s doing. As long as he gets his teammates to drink the Kool-Aid, ED will always be dangerous. Bobby is blessed with talented females around him like Kayla Voss, Mackenzie Neary, and Emily Belfield. And then his males are as good as anyones with Delecki, Ben Stack, and Nick Angelo, just to name a few. Blase LaDuca is there for some reason too, I’ll assume he offered to pay the entire team fee or something. The Sticky Bandits won the winter league this offseason, and they’re looking to ride that momentum into a D1 championship. While they boast the same talented and fast males they always have (Dean, Brian, Adrian, Kevin Zack…how do you cover all that speed? You don’t.), the big news out of Sticky Nation is that they’re down Christine Krol and Laura Streeter this season as both are on the IR with “Pregnancy”. Nothing kills a D1 title run faster than conception, that’s for sure. But fear not, Sticky was just fine in indoor leaning on the perennially underrated and underestimated Nicole Sharick shouldering the load. They still have Missy Keem as well, and they added Brandy Clarke and a “starting the season on the IR but might be back?” Misty Himes as well. That’s how you supplement your roster, folks. Tight Ends In Motion is back for more fun, but they’re not your father’s TEIM. Word is that Bro Kleckler is no longer throwing, which is a shame, but there’s no way they make that call without a better replacement plan in place, right? RIGHT? TEIM still boasts super tall Derek and a couple of Daves, not to mention arguably the best females top to bottom on the roster. Katie, Cheryl, Lindsey, Margo, and Emma are just all studs, and whoever shows up should give TEIM an advantage. Losing Streak returns after a sabbatical back home. Apparently, winning by 86 every week loses its luster, and Jordan has returned to capture a D1 title. And he’s got some friends with him. You know the usual names: Ralph, Keyon, Chris Nelson. But Jordan got what eluded him last time: a stable of talented females. He got all world female Robin Makula out of “sort of” retirement, he plucked Crystal Carlson from her team, and he has Britney Matthews as well. That was what he was missing last time, and Losing Streak has a real chance to take the D1 crown. Scared Hitless stays in D1 after some arguably mixed results last season. Good for them. Even though they lost Mel to Legends, SH still trots out some excellent females (Jaimie Warren? Cat? Molly? Carly? Pfft, they’ll be just fine) and as long as Rawdog doesn’t screw anything up for them, the males are very, very good as well. As always, it comes down to QB play. Dylan Day proceeds to be the deciding factor in most games for Scared Hitless, and when he’s on, SH can beat anyone. But when he’s off, and people miss games, they look out of place. This team has arguably the biggest gap between their floor and ceiling of any D1 teams. They’re the true wild card of the division. Frodo Swaggins comes strutting into D1 after a relatively easy D2 title win last Fall. Garrett has been pretty damn good as he transitions from washed up WR to “extending my playing career” QB. This team is tall, with CJ and Blake Fisher, and they got Josh Schnieder to turn in his Sticky jersey to stay with Frodo. John Costa has been in the gym, so you know he’s ready. Garrett has pretty much overturned his females this season, going out and getting Katie Swanson from Spinelli’s (who have broken up for this season), and names I’ve never heard before like Sarah Coatsworth and Tori Leighbody. There’s zero way Garrett gets them to play if they can’t ball out though, right? There’s a lot of question marks here, and it FEELS like this might be a learning season, and we’ll see some real good football in the fall. Finally, Grey Hair Don’t Care might be a little out of their league this time around. Yes, Amber Hay is an All-Star. Yes, Nick Voss can change a game. Yes, George Lombardo is underrated. But there are a lot of names here that I don’t know, and whispers have started that Dave Eickhoff is starting to lose it a little. So unless Dylan is there to throw, which I doubt he is, This team is a step behind for sure. If Dave starts off rough, look for a QB Controversy to develop.
Preseason Prediction: D1 is fun again. That’s the prediction. I don’t think we’ll see a tremendous gap between the top 2 teams and everyone else or something. When the smoke clears however, I think you’ll be seeing Losing Streak taking the title from the Legends in the final. They’ve patched up their biggest holes, they’ve learned a bit more, and as long as Jordan keeps his composure, they can do this.
This Week’s Games:
Sticky Bandits vs Scared Hitless (+7) - Sticky is coming off a very good indoor session, and they’re the more complete team right now. A perfect team to start the season against when you’re working in new players. I’m sure that had nothing to do with Krol making the schedule. Nope. Scared Hitless will take this to really shake off the rust from the winter, but they’ll keep it close. STICKY BANDITS BY 4
Losing Streak vs Tight Ends In Motion (EVEN) - Pretty big matchup out of the gate, but that’s what we’re going to see weekly in D1. Overall, i think TEIM is a little better (ignore the prediction), but working in a new QB against a team that has played together for forever isn’t the best start. LOSING STREAK BY 9
Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+14) - It’s a hell of a welcome to D1 for Frodo to take on the Legends out of the gate, but I can also imagine Garrett not wanting it any other way. If you really want to see what your team needs to work on this season, going up against the Gold Standard right away is a quick way to find your holes. And if Garrett does anything, it’s find holes. LEGENDS BY 10
Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+17) - Both of these teams will wear grey, i just know it. Bobby, wear the red ones. ED was apparently a well oiled machine in the indoor league, and I was told GHDC struggled a bit. I hope to be wrong, but GHDC doesn’t feel like they’re on the same level here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 22
Frodo Swaggins vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - Double header to start the season for both teams, that’s always fun. Neither team will be rested at all when you consider they’ll both get a top contender in the division the hour before. This game won’t be a complete test for either side. It’ll come down to the wire in this one. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3
D2:
Championship Odds:
No Punt Intended (4-1)
Mavericks (5-1)
Untouchaballs (7-1)
Practice Squad (8-1)
Freeballers (20-1)
Preseason Hype: D2 is just, weird. We only got 5 teams into this division, largely as a result of it no longer being “D1 lite” as the D1 worthy teams moved up, and then we had some sad departures from the league this time around (RIP Dilfs). After the smoke has cleared, however, we get No Punt Intended looking like the front runners here. NPI was pretty damn good the last time we saw them, and adding TCB and getting the return of Casey Lawler means good luck to the other squads that try to keep up with her and Amber. That’s a LOT of speed. The Mavericks come in as a new team that allegedly has some pretty good talent on it. There are definitely some names on this roster (Manny Batcho, Ant Cordova) that I’ve heard before, so Jordan’s D2 team looks to have some firepower as well. I’m positive Jordan will email me more about the others on his roster so I have more to say later on. So it’ll be fine. The Untouchaballs are here, and they have Jeremy Burr throwing the ball to what seems to be the same team they’ve had. That isn’t meant to be a slight, the UTs have been very good for quite some time and they’ll 100% be in the mix for a title. Tell me if you’ve heard this before: Practice Squad won their division last season, and moved up. PS has made the long climb from D6, but they’re checking all of the boxes along the way. They won D3 last season from the 8 seed, furthering the proof that once B figures out the faster defenses, they can beat anyone. The team is largely the same (B, Kelly, Renee, and about 52 dudes named Kyle), only losing Jamie McCabe to Untouchaballs. PS has a very, very good chance to win yet another title, and at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them in D1 in the fall. And finally, the Freeballers. They got a bit better this offseason, adding Adrian Cannon and a returning Brittany Clarke to the team, which can only help. They’re talented, for sure, but they still feel like they’re a bit behind the other teams. On the plus side, I didn’t put them at 100-1 this time.
Preseason Prediction: At the end of the day, B’s Brother once again inspires Practice Squad to yet another championship, as they upset No Punt Intended in the finals.
This Week’s Games:
No Punt Intended vs Untouchaballs (+3) - NPI looks to finish what they started last season as they loaded up for a title run. But the Untouchaballs have the better QB and arguably the best female on the field in Melanie. This is the potential Game of the Day right here. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 1, BURR FURIOUS ABOUT A REF CALL THAT “COST HIM THE WIN”.
No Punt Intended vs Mavericks (EVEN) - A team coming off a game against a brand new team looking to make a statement in their first game in the TSL. Always a good mix. I’ll take the team looking to make noise this time around. MAVERICKS BY 5
Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - With the Untouchaballs fired up about losing the first game by a point, they proceed to take it out on the Freeballers who just always feel disjointed and like they’re figuring it out until about midseason when they win two games they shouldn’t have and get people (it’s me, I’m people) thinking they can win it all. UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10
Practice Squad vs Freeballers (+3) - This should be a pretty good matchup for sure. Despite me selecting PS for the eventual D2 championship, they’ve started slow in recent seasons (of course me saying that will only fire them up and I’ll prove myself wrong now) as they adjust to another new division. FREEBALLERS BY 3
D3:
Championship Odds:
Wanderers (3-1)
Bullet Club (5-1)
Jabronies (8-1)
Degeneration Sexy (11-1)
Can’t Touch This (15-1)
Itches and Ohs (22-1)
Let’s Get Reccked (30-1)
Vaspian (35-1)
Preseason Hype: It happened. After 27 years, and 3,258 championships in other leagues, the Wanderers have FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY accepted my long standing weekly invitation to join the TSL to see where they stand here. This team has been a well oiled machine for decades, and while they’re a bit older, and changed a few parts (I’m sure) they’re still a force to be reckoned with. They’ll have to take a second or two to adjust to the TSL game (not having 4 minutes to throw, for example) but once they do, look out. D3 might be a little too low for them, but it’s smart for them to figure out the game first and then move up. I can’t wait. Bullet Club comes back pretty much completely intact from last season’s 7-2 team. They’re just solid to great all around, and they still have the division’s best player in Pistol Pete. Losing Crystal will sting, but hopefully the new girls on the roster can be a bright spot and help overcome that loss. The Jabronies have always been a good team when they play. Despite Eric Klecker’s hatred of potted plants, he loves playing good football. This team has a few names I’ve seen before like Mike McKenrick and the underrated Lindsey West, and with Joe Miano throwing, they’ll be a tough out each week. Degeneration Sexy is this year’s version of “The Kellers”. They picked up a couple of the defunct Dilfs (still sad) like Kellie Mazur and Valerie Bernal, so they’ve only gotten better. Assuming they make the correct choice and have Scott Sr. throwing over Scotty Dro, they can easily contend for the title. Can't Touch This seems to be the same team, but that’s a good thing. They’re still relatively new to the league and continuity can only help them. Ryan throws the ball about as far as anyone in the league, and their skill guys and the ladies keep improving. They’re a chic pick for “Most Improved” team this year. Itches and Ohs will always keep you honest, but this is looking like a down year for Steve Moser and company. Yes, Rylee and Lauren are very good players, but losing Laura is like the Vikings losing Justin Jefferson. All of their guys are “fine” to “good” but nobody really stands out. Feels like a season where Steve yells a lot. Let’s Get Reccked is in D3 for some reason. Like, why? This team was 2-7 in D5 last season. I understand that they get Dave Baker this season, and he’s really good at age 57. And yes, Alex Buchlis is going to throw for them, which helps a lot. But I feel like D4 might’ve been the move to really figure stuff out. Maybe they’ll surprise but I’m not sure they have the overall talent to win this thing. And then Vaspian is in D3 as well. This team has always been up and down in D4, never really winning it despite some nice regular seasons. I’m assuming this is because of the readdition of Drew Colosimo, but there’s still going to be some growing pains moving up a division.
Preseason Prediction: The Wanderers walk out of D3 with yet another championship to hang on their mantle, defeating Bullet Club in what should be a fantastic game.
This Week’s Games:
Bullet Club vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - These teams played each other pretty close last season, so what an excellent opening game for D3. This game will feature some pretty looking deep shots from Easton and Dougherty, and it may just come down to who blinks first. BULLET CLUB BY 8
Bullet Club vs Wanderers (EVEN) - Well, this is an even better way to start the season. The Wanderers’ first TSL matchup will be against Joe K and one of the TSL’s longest standing “franchises” in BC. Another “Game of the Day” candidate, it’ll be interesting to see how well these two teams fare against each other. The Wanderers make a late game play to seal the victory. WANDERERS BY 3
Wanderers vs Degeneration Sexy (+3) - Things don’t get easier for the Wanderers as they take on the Kellers. A Katie Keller - Mackenzie Klun battle might be very fun to watch, but if the Wanderers can get a turnover early, they may just walk away with another victory. WANDERERS BY 7
Jabronies vs Lets Get Reccked (+10) - I feel like all these guys know each other and are all related somehow. Anyway, its 3pm so Let’s Get Reccked may already be “Reccked” at this point. Assuming they aren’t, I just don’t think they have the horses to really run with Jabronies. JABRONIES BY 8
D4:
Championship Odds:
Baadie’s Angels (3-1)
Cunning Stunts (3-1)
Puckett All-Stars (6-1)
Buffalo Vice (8-1)
Travis Henry’s Kids (10-1)
Passing While Intoxicated (15-1)
Creekers (25-1)
Cobblestone (25-1)
Preseason Hype: The standings may just say “BAADies” but I’m calling them what they are. The Angels are BACK. Emily. Maggie. Robin. Val. Nicole. Heather. Sam. The greatest gender team of all time has returned, and they have some new blood with them as well (Talia, Misty, Mackenzie, Steph) as they combine with Garrett to run it back. This team is talented, and while we’ll miss Matty on the field with the girls, Garrett is one hell of a consolation prize. This is going to be FUN. Why is that you ask? Oh, because the Cunning Stunts are STILL HERE. The gender team battle has returned, and whenever they play, they BETTER be on Field 1 so everyone can watch. The Stunts return all of the girls that made them great last season, and they have QB God Joey Batts still slinging the ball for them. D4 is back to when it was at its best: the gender teams rule, and the co-ed teams get mad about it and play better to try to beat them. Puckett was absolutely awesome last season, and they’re already mad that they’re only the 3rd ranked team in the division they dominated a season ago. I don’t think I see any changes to the roster, which is a good thing. They didn’t need to fix what wasn’t broken. They’re the top competitor to the ladies for sure. Buffalo Vice comes rolling in for their 1,053rd season in the TSL. They’re always competitive, and yes, they’re still chasing a title. They’re getting a little older, but that’s okay. They’re still able to play the game at a high level, they’re just more prone to muscle pulls. And they arguably have the greatest girl not on a gender team in Caitlyn Mason, and Rachel Parker is no slouch either. I look forward to Dan emailing me about their epic win over the Stunts soon. THK was a joke last year. Simple as that. John Langley spent way too much time losing games and being miserable. Just kidding. They were at the bottom of the standings, but lost a few close games. And then? They started winning. They ended the season VERY hot, and correct me if I’m misremembering, but I think they just were missing most of their team for the playoff game they lost. The point is, there’s a lot to build on. They have John who could win D4 QB of the year, and they have Pete, who again, is tremendous. And, they added the sneakiest free agent signing of the offseason with getting Aaron Balcerzak from the TOX break up. Their Achilles heel will still be the lack of dominant females behind Mackenzie Klun, but Langley has shown he can overcome that. Topper wanted me to add that Langley is still terrible though. PWI is coming off an impressive D5 victory last season where they took control of a wide open division and ran with it. This team is bringing back the same people but doing the honorable “move up a division”, I don’t think they added anyone to the squad, and they didn’t really need to. This team gelled at the right time and they’re just going to continue to get better every week. The Creekers come into the TSL as a brand new team, as Missy Keem put together a new squad to start playing. Bravo, Missy! However, I don't know too much about them, but again, they can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to introduce themselves. And finally, Darryl Carr QB Superstar is in D4 with Cobblestone. Cobblestone played well in D5 and moved up. They honestly just always move around because Darryl just says “put us where you need us”. What an absolutely wonderful man he is. Darryl has a pretty good squad yet again, with AD, Leseaon Washington, and former 716 standout Donte Ridgeway leading the way. As long as they can catch Darryl’s magnificent pinpoint passes this season, they could win the whole thing.
Preseason Prediction: Puckett All-Stars get it together to beat the Cunning Stunts in the semi-finals, ruining the BAADies-Stunts final we all want. But then Puckett loses to the Angels in the finals anyway.
This Week’s Games:
Baadie’s Angels vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - Despite my excitement for the return of the Angels, its still been a second since they’ve played together and Garrett hasn’t really thrown for a gender team just yet. Because of that, and them playing at 10am to kick off the season, I think we’ll see a very close game. BAADIES BY 8
Travis Henry’s Kids vs Cobblestone (+6) - Travis Henry’s Kids looks to pick up where they left off last season, and they’re getting the right team to do it against. Cobblestone has talent, for sure, but they’ve struggled to be consistent, dropping the ball (literally) in the games that have mattered. It’ll be interesting to watch this one for sure. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3
D5:
Championship Odds:
TMA (5-1)
Tater Tots (6-1)
Not So Sticky (7-1)
Come From Behind (7-1)
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (9-1)
Goatsack! (10-1)
GUCCI (10-1)
Long Balls (15-1)
Preseason Hype: Welcome to the Thunderdome. D5 looks to be the closest and most competitive division we have top to bottom. There’s no real clear cut “favorite” to win this thing. All that means is that we’re going to see some really good football. TMA comes into the season the same way they always do lately: Preseason favorites. But this isn’t your father’s TMA. The roster is noticeably missing anyone that was over 5’8 on the team. Nick Smith, Prim, Rob Rummings are all gone this season. Diana Bernal was injured in the offseason so she’s missing. On the plus side, TMA had 42 people on the roster to begin with, so they’ll be okay. They still have Ron Webber, Ryan Henry, a couple of Turners, and Val Testa, just to name a few. TMA should have no trouble scoring, but the signature defense they’ve had for years might be a problem this Spring. The Tater Tots show up, and now Derek Pew is launching his signature bombs for them. They also signed Rob Rummings from TMA, which means the Tots get taller, faster, AND a division rival gets worse. Big win for Drunk Meg’s Husband as he resumes his GM duties for the squad. Not So Sticky returns to D5 after waltzing to a D6 title last season. They were 0-9-1 in their last D5 run, so perhaps we need a D5.5 for them to really find their zone. They lost a few key players from the title team, but still should compete for the D5 title this year. Come From Behind is back and they’re largely the same group we’ve come to know and love for the last 40 years. No significant roster changes that I can see, just the same TSL Hall of Famers that will continue to score points and be a title contender every season, as long as everyone shows up. The Interdimensional Lightning Falcons have returned with largely the same squad as last season where they didn’t really live up to expectations. I’m not exactly sure who’s going to be throwing for this team (will it be Andrew?), but they still look to be a QB away from really competing. They have a lot of talent, they just struggle to capitalize on it overall. It hurts that Joe Miano left them to play for the Jabronies, but at least they moved down a division from D4 to recalibrate and get reset. Goatsack is another LONG time team that has been around seemingly forever. I can’t recall if they’ve played in the TSL before or not, because I’m pretty sure they’ve flirted with the idea before, but I don’t remember if it ever happened or not. Either way, QB Andy has brought the sack to D5 and they’re going to be fun to watch. The roster is full of names I’ve heard before in football circles, so teams should beware of what they can do. GUCCI has returned to the TSL and all is right with the world. QB Kelly Kane leads her squad back to the TSL for some fun times and great football. Yet another long time franchise in the Social Co-Ed Touch Football world, Gucci has been around for ages, and they can hold their own with anyone. The Long Balls are a new-ish team that has a lot of the old “Varsity Has Beens” from a year ago, along with Alex Lee of PWI fame. If I recall, a lot of these names are hockey players that are giving football a try. If everything clicks for them, don't be surprised to see them still playing on Championship Saturday.
Preseason Prediction: Chaos. Glorious Chaos. But when it’s all said and done I think we’ll be seeing the Tater Tots taking home the title over Come From Behind. I can’t wait to see what happens in D5 this season.
This Week’s Games:
Come From Behind vs Goatsack! (+7) - Two forever franchises battle it out to kick off the D5 season! This game will be close, but with Goatsack having to adjust to the different rules in the TSL that CFB mastered back in 1987, CFB will have the advantage. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10
TMA vs GUCCI (+7) - Gucci returns to get to play TMA right away. Normally that’d be a hard start, but with TMA not exactly very “TMA-y”, and learning how to play without some of their top players, anything can happen. The Captain Val Testa era gets off to a rough start. GUCCI BY 4
Tater Tots vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+10) - The Tots routinely take the Fall off, but they never seem to miss a beat in the Spring when they return. They have a QB, they have their usual roster, and they’ll be just fine. Meanwhile I think ILF is still going to have to adjust to all of their own changes. TATER TOTS BY 9
Not So Sticky vs Long Balls (+7) - A typical case of Old team that’s played together a long time vs the new team that shows some promise but still needs to figure things out. NSS takes advantage. NOT SO STICKY BY 12
D6:
Championship Odds:
Blitzkrieg (5-1)
Southside (6-1)
Balls Deep (7-1)
Sausage McMuffins (9-1)
Two Tuddies (10-1)
Grass Eaters (11-1)
Back That Pass up (11-1)
Pit Harade (15-1)
Mighty Drunks (17-1)
Preseason Hype: Okay, maybe I lied. D6 might be the most interesting and close knit division. We have a weaker Blitzkrieg, a little different Southside, and then 7 other teams that are either completely new or a combination of old teams with new old parts. It’s really something. At first glance, I have no idea how any of these teams are going to do and it really seems like the oddsmakers didn’t either. Blitzkrieg is back and they have most of the usual gang back, sans Mackenzie Neary or Kevin Carr, who it could be argued are two of their top players. Southside looks to have a lot of new faces, but they still have Alyssa at the helm and Tyler Cienmy as well. They’re usually pretty good with finding good players, I assume that’ll continue. Balls Deep was better known as Punt Cakes last season, and they weren’t too bad, regardless of finishing last in the division. They added some Spinelli’s talent in Ryan Rusin and Payton himself so the roster is getting an upgrade for sure. Sausage McMuffins give me all of the Passless Chaps vibes, seeing MaKensey Pietz and Eric Pochylski on the roster. They also have absolute superstar Trish Esposito on the roster, which can only mean they’ll be dangerous at the bar as well. The Tuddies are back after a nice run last season where they really started to figure things out. The roster looks to be mostly the same, with a couple of different names that seem new. Another season of playing together will certainly have them in the hunt at season’s end. And they’re just awesome overall. The Grass Eaters are the remnants of the Superior Moser Squad from last season. Steve is throwing this time, and Rylee is back to being receiver, but they’re bringing in a few new players as well. Back That Pass Up has Alex Dutkiewicz of PWI teaming up with Jeff May to bring a whole new team to the league. Pit Harade seems to be the love child of Joe K and Dave Walter. They also have Spinelli’s QB Nick Hawes throwing for him which means if any of the other guys or girls on this team can play, or more accurately run go routes, they’ll score a bunch. I do not foresee Joe K or Dave doing those. Finally, the Mighty Drunks come into play, and they could be awesome or they could be terrible. Nobody knows! Jill Dibble is the only name I recognize on this list, so hopefully she found a bunch of talented friends.
Preseason Prediction: My best prediction is that I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I’ll take Blitzkrieg to win over Balls Deep in the finals.
This Week’s Games:
Southside vs Back That Pass Up (+3) - The only reason Southside is favored is because they’ve played as a team before, I think. BTPU will go as far as Jeff May takes them. When he’s on, he’s more than capable of leading a team to a D6 title. When he’s off, Topper used to consider making a D8 just for Jeff. I think he’s going to come out swinging to prove he’s still got it. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 8
Grass Eaters vs Mighty Drunks (+3) - The over/under on how many times I type “Mighty Ducks” this season is at 4.5. Again, I have zero clue with what we have with the Drunks. But I do know that Steve is an excellent QB and regardless of who he has on his team, he’ll be able to carve up the defense of a new team that’s just figuring it out. GRASS EATERS BY 14
Two Tuddies vs Southside (EVEN) - With how the Tuddies closed the season six months ago, there’s a lot to be excited about. My hope is that they can keep it going after a long layoff, and i don’t know what it is, but i just feel like they will. TWO TUDDIES BY 2
Balls Deep vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Oh, another pick’em. But again, this division remains a mystery. When you’re in these situations you have to really go with the best player on the field, and that, by far, is Ryan Rusin. BALLS DEEP BY 8
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:
And that’s it. The race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has officially begun! Everyone be safe, have fun, don’t scream at the refs, and enjoy the greatest family gathering you could ever hope to be at. But again, make sure to tell me about it.
-GF OUT