To whom it may concern,
Week #7 has come and gone and things are getting good. We have issues all over the field and even more issues off the field. The races are starting to take form. A former league icon returned to the main stage and put on a performance of a lifetime.....until he "dropped the ball" in the grossest miscarriage of justice in league history! Two of our leagues biggest stars still might be verbally bashing each other over whether Rameer did or didn't..........
Fasten your seat belts boys and girls things are starting to get good........
So what else happened over the weekend........................
GOOD NOT BAD
1. GORDON'S: Gordon's is off to a hot 5-1 start and was up against it VS a very game BRG as they were losing 25-8 after the first half then they took over to win the game 28-25. Was it that Gordon's was that good or did Buffalo Roadhouse Grill fold like a tent? It really doesn't matter as Gordon's won and BRG lost. It really is starting to look like Gordon's and EAH is on the table and not much can stop this battle.
2. RAFFERTYS: Took the field of battle VS D1 defending champs Top Line Solutions and got a very easy 33-22 victory. Their offense was crazy good as Matty "hands off me" Mohr, Chris Kensy and Shane took over. Shane was almost un-coverable at different points in this game. Trust me the score was a lot closer than the game really was. I for one take issue with Rafferty's management for not letting "the straw that stirs the drink" Steve Kensy take the field of battle. I will start a grass roots campaign and start a petition if I must to make sure Stevie gets to play..... LET HIM PLAY LET HIM PLAY LET HIM PLAY LET HIM PLAY LET HIM PLAY......
3. RILEY ST STATION: RSS is one of the most popular and storied franchises in our game. Lets be honest they are a walking soap opera both on and off
the fields. Many folks were shocked that this juggernaut had fallen on hard times as they stood at 0-6 entering this weeks games. TMT was up next after getting a big win VS the RSS weeks ago. RSS took the field of battle and laid the smacketh downeth on their younger counterparts as they won 51-12. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. Welcome back to the D2 playoff race Riley St Station TOOT TOOT.........
4. D6 PLAYOFF RACE: Not a lot changed this week as Co Lateral Damage, Hope N Ruin, ACE , Go Fumble Yourself and Team Seneca all seem to be winning their games. Red Zone Mafia appears to be out of the hunt now as they took a tough loss to HNR and now appear to have entered "also ran" territory. Its my opinion that D6 will have the best playoff chase of any division.
5. CO LATERAL DAMAGE: Team came from out of no where and now stands at 5-2. They have wins over ACE and Go Fumble Yourself recently. This team is for real boys and girls. It all starts on offense as they are cruising up and down the fields with relative ease these days. Some of the other vet squads are getting the pub but I would suggest to all teams in D6 to not take your eyes off these guys as they could surprise come playoff time.
BAD NOT GOOD
1. THE BOCC': His team didn't even play this week but few people had a worse day then The Bocc'. Behind a lot of "behind the scenes help" The Bocc' had the attention of many young ladies this week. Though for some reason he kept calling all the guys that introduced him to girls as "AHOLES." Yes Boccio calling friends who help you meet girls does mean they are AHOLES(seriously...really? really? really?) . By days end one young lady was ready to hand the Bocc' her digits but she quietly walked out the door at 430 as the Bocc' did not ask. Why Bocc' WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????
2. G FOR LIFE; When word came down prior to the season start the G For Life secretly was setting up a "super team" to destroy the D1 landscape many people shook their heads and knew they were in for war. After 6 games G4L stands at 2-4 and is in a state of total disarray. This week they went "iron man" against the Mooseknuckles B squad and lost 38-31. I keep saying that G4L will get all the troops back and all will be well but I am beginning to wonder if this team has what it takes to do what it was set up to do.
3. DYNASTY: When Dynasty was off to their 4-0 start many wondered if they were that good or just winning their easy games. Dynasty stands now at 4-3 and lost this week to Resurrection 42-16. Dynasty is averaging 10 points a game on offense in their last 3 and they have given up 71 points in their last 2 losses. If you are a Dynasty fan it might be time to hit the panic button.
4. COLLEGIATE SOLAR: CS is bad OK they are really bad but this one takes the cake. They were scheduled to play Spabafits at 100 a game they lost 29-6. At 115 the ref and the league commissioner were looking for them. One of them walked over to a table outside where CS was drinking and joking around. They were told to report to their game when one guy said "We play at 200 its on the schedule." Once one of their players checked the schedule they found out they were wrong and the game was in fact at 100. CS ran to the fields and got crushed. Its bad enough they are 0-6 but now they cant even get their game times right. Kudos to them though on their "off the field" prowess.
5. G TOX: I'm sorry but you can't lose to Red Dawn by 36 and be taken seriously in D1. Rumors are starting swirl as many wonder if Randy Schwab is the answer at QB and notTaylor Seketurski. GOTX had a golden opportunity to get in the playoff race and give themselves some breathing room but laid a major egg in this one.
GOOD AND BAD
1. COBBLESTONE: GOOD: Finally won and now with a few games to go is back in the playoff hunt. Games against Merrill Lynch and arch nemesis Team Topper remain to determine the fait of our favorite friends. BAD: An "off the field issue" occurred and CS played with one less player than normal in their afternoon game. Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
2. THE SHIT: GOOD: Beat Wally World 72-20 and now have scored 97 and 72 in 2 of their last 3 games. BAD: Verbally accused a very innocent man minding his own business claiming that said gentlemen was in fact the Godfather. I am happy to report the young man is at home convalescing but is having a tough time dealing with the emotional stress of being called out for being the Godfather To all those that know me I am from Des Moines Iowa and don't even attend games. I have a good friend that lets me in on storylines and the news of the day. I am then sent a video feed of all games and I then write my articles.
HE SAID SHE SAID
"He just didn't make me feel special" Anonymous young lady when asked what about the Bocc she didn't like. The Bocc took a picture with her and 2 minutes later took a picture with 2 girls then 2 minutes later took a picture with another girl
"I would give him my number.....if he asked." Anonymous young lady when asked her feelings about The Bocc late Saturday afternoon. Alas the Bocc did not build up enough courage to ask the fair maiden for her number. Oh the humanity............
"Yes I like Putt and Putt and yes I would go play Putt Putt with The Bocc" Anonymous young lady when asked her feelings about Putt Putt golf and games and doing said activity with The Bocc'. Alas there will be no Putt Putt as The Bocc did not ask the young lady to play.
"I respectfully ask this committee to get off this Bocc and ****** relationship talk. My girl is in the running for D5 female MVP and its my view that if these two start dating she will lose her focus and that will hamper her chances at an award she deserves. " Chris Cole when word of this potential 'travesty" got over to him
"Rameer you c*c* blocked The Bocc' just admit it" ........... "No I didn't and you know it"
The words echoed from league favorites Rameer Green and Tommy Emerson Hughes which lasted more than 20 minutes post game. Rumors swirl the case is heading to arbitration as both steadfastly swear that the other was wrong.
1. There is a girl on Spabafits that caught my attention this week. Girl has sick skills. I don't see a ton of Spabafit games so I don't know if she is on their roster or was a sub but girl took the game over VS Collegiate Solar. She couldn't be covered by any woman or man wearing a CS jersey. I think I need to take another look at Spabas and watch this girl again as she caught everything thrown at her and was dominant. We might need to find her name out.
2. I am hearing Prime Time Players might be in the market for a QB this Spring and I am also hearing a very disgruntled high profile "benched former QB" might be ready to listen if they ask him to throw for them. I am not one to talk so you didn't hear that from me.
3. DNA vs 123 Gawron was one of the more anticipated match ups this session yet Cory Turner decided not to play. Instead he took his flag team into battle as they lost the flag title in another league to a team led by Mike Ford......How is that possible????????
4. South Beach got another impressive victory this week this time against Angry Buffalo. SB is definitely a team to keep your eye on down the stretch. If Varsity Blues is to be upset this is the one team that might be able to do it.
5. If you asked me what teams were better or worse than their current records indicates after week #7 I would say:
TEAMS BETTER THAN THEIR RECORDS INDICATE: D1 G FOR LIFE D2 RILEY ST STATION D3 GABBYS BANANA HAMMOCKS D4 COME FROM BEHIND D5 THE SHIT D6 SPABAFITS
TEAMS WORSE THAN THEIR RECORDS INDICATE: D1 MOOSKNUCKLES D2 ANGRY BUFFALO D3 DYNASTY D4 MULTIPLE SCORGASMS D5 PRIME TIME PLAYERS D6 RED ZONE MAFIA
WHAT DID WE LEARN THIS WEEK
1. Hung Buffalo learned that they are having an awesome season but it can all go away in a blink of any eye. The beat The Tammy's 33-31 but this was their first true test of the season. Being a 2 time champion, I don't see this team getting cocky down the stretch.
2. Sweet and Sour Inc is starting to learn that they have the D4 title in the bag. I haven't seen a team dismantle a division this bad since Touchy Ballers did a few sessions ago. It all begins and ends at QB. Jeff Easton can sling folks. Looks like SASI has a date with D3 in the spring.
3. I wonder if Tommy Hasselhof Hughes is beginning to wonder if he made the right decision this off season. This team has so much talent but so much wasted potential. I for one hope G4L gets in gear as the D1 title chase would be awesome if they are firing on all cylinders. One can only wonder if they are hoping for the #8 seed and another round with 123 Gawron in the playoffs.
4. I think a certain young man learned this week that if a young lady has no problem handing you her digits you should stop what you are doing and go get the digits......Silly Boccio trix are for kids!!!!!!
5. Buffalo Roadhouse Grill learned that football is a game of (2) halves not (1). Up 25-8 at the half VS Gordon's BRG lost 28-25. Take the loss and learn from it boys and girls there's a good chance you might just see Gordon's again real soon.
Lastly I am well aware of the fact that I either insinuated or mentioned Mike Boccios name 24X in this weeks article.
That is all
Week #7 is now done
Week #8 is already less than a week away.....
Until then ...