Championship Saturday Thought, Predictions, Questions & Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 21 October 2022 12:24

Published: Friday, 21 October 2022 12:24

Written by Patrick McGovern

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, October 21st in the Year of Our Lord 2022, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality will be completed for the Fall 2022 session. 7 champions across 7 divisions will be crowned, and if the games are anything like they were last weekend, those titles will be EARNED. 26 of the 50 TSL teams this season remain alive, after a wild Playoff Saturday that saw MANY of the higher seeds in each division fall, including the only two #1 seeds (Mountain Dew Me and Cunning Stunts) that had a game this week. Don’t tell me those bye weeks aren’t important.

 

As has been the case in recent seasons, I’ve bothered the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee to give me a second set of opinions on these tremendous matchups we have coming for us this Saturday.

 

GF: Hey there Committee! It's time to make you earn your paychecks yet again. Another ridiculous Playoff Week of upsets and the unexpected happening is in the books, giving us another "anything can happen" Championship Week this Saturday as the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality nears the finish line. What really stood out to you guys?

 

TSLQBPRC: Well you've said it already, it's the upsets, right?  Listen, we knew there would be a couple, but Tight Ends in Motion, Mountain Dew Me, Cunning Stunts ALL losing?  Impossible.  Even if we suspected one or two these might be in the making (and yes, we did an EXCELLENT job of predicting these if you look at our Overrated/Underrated analysis last week) we will never in a million years pretend we thought ALL of these would happen on the same day.  Has there EVER been this much chaos in one week?

 

GF: I feel like there's always chaos, but the exception of last year really helped us forget how crazy things can be on Playoff Saturday. If you remember, last season the higher seeded teams went a nearly unprecedented 16-4, which may actually have been the record for "most top seeds win". The season before? They were 11-9. That time away from the craziness might've had people forget. While I'm sure that the "lovely" weather played a factor in some of these upsets, you have to remember that both teams had to play in the same conditions. Now we roll into Championship Saturday with the following top seeded teams in each division: #1 Legends in D1, #1 Frodo Swaggins in D2, #2 Bullet Club in D3, #2 Puckett All-Stars in D4, #1 TMA in D5, and #1 Not So Sticky in D6. We'll get into predictions in a minute, but if you had to rank these seeds from "Least Likely to Most Likely to be Upset", where would you have them?

 

TSLQBPRC: Least likely to be upset is... wow, is it Legends?  We don't even think they're that dominant a team (they've beaten their three possible opponents this week by only 8, 8 and 12 this season) but every other division seems even closer somehow.  TMA is the next least likely, where only Come From Behind and even Passing While Intoxicated have a real shot.  Then Puckett (Zack Attack must have a chance right?), then Not So Sticky (will ANY other teams be drinking mid-game this weekend?).  Then the most likely to be upset are probably Bullet Club only because they play in the tightest division (though Mountain Dew Me getting knocked out helps) and finally Frodo Swaggins.  Frodo was incredible this session, but they have a perfect foil in No Punt Intended that no one would be "shocked" if they lost against, so they're the most likely to be upset.  Maybe.  Possibly.  Who knows.  Agree, disagree?

 

GF: Once the Legends didn't have to deal with Tight Ends In Motion anymore, they ended up with the "easiest" path to winning. After that we're seeing things a little differently. I think Puckett All-Stars have been SO GOOD that they're next in line there in D4. After that, I'd say Frodo Swaggins, which is shocking, given NPI's talent, but Frodo just feels like a pretty damn good D1 team at this point and NPI doesn't. I'll say TMA here next, despite their incredible history of blowing championships they should've won. After that, it's Not So Sticky, who has tremendous competition in Blitzkrieg and the "Yeah, we sacrificed a couple of Baby Goats to get really good at football, really fast" Two Tuddies nipping at their heels. Finally, Bullet Club has to be the "most likely to be upset" leader just because D3 has been a warzone all season, and nothing is guaranteed.

 

Of all the matchups in the "second round", which are you looking most forward to and why?

 

TSLQBPRC: We've got a few we'll have our eyes on.  D4 has some of the best matchups of the day so if people are smart they won't leave early!  Dominant Puckett All-Stars vs suddenly resurgent Travis Henry's Kids sounds like a great matchup, but Zack Attack vs Spinelli's Plumbing might be even better with Zack Attack playing the part of the 2022 Buffalo Bills (great on BOTH sides of the ball) and Spinelli's playing the part of the 2022 Kansas City Chiefs (okay their defense is non-existent but it may not matter with how much they'll score).  Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown had an incredible playoff game last year with Sticky Nation winning on the last play of the game.  We doubt that rematch will be boring.  And finally with no disrespect intended to Scott Senior's Starting or Itches and Ohs, we think whoever wins the Bullet Club vs Practice Squad game is going to take the D3 title, so THAT'S one we'll go out of our way to see.  Did we miss any big ones?

 

GF: You missed my favorite first round matchup between the DILFs and No Punt Intended, but other than that you guys did great as always. Let's get into the real fun of it, and the only reason people are reading this article as it is: The Predictions.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#7 Scared Hitless 37, #2 Tight Ends In Motion 25

#3 Sticky Bandits 37, #6 Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

#4 Eyes Downtown 42, #5 Passed Our Prime 6

 

We got our first massive upset out of the way early as Scared Hitless put Tight Ends In Motion to rest early in the playoffs. Sticky and Eyes Downtown took care of business rather easily.

 

#1 Legends (8-1) vs #7 Scared Hitless (2-6-1)

Points For: Legends 38.00 (2nd), SH 30.78 (5th)

Points Against: Legends 29.56 (4th), SH 37.78 (6th)

TSL Ranking: Legends 5th, SH 43rd

Past Games: Legends 50 - SH 42

Line: Legends (-9)

 

 

GF: This isn't exactly the matchup everyone had penciled in here. Scared Hitless proceeded to put TEIM out of their misery, sending them home early. While it was a banner day for Dylan Day and company, the only thing they earned was a "Final Boss" battle against the Legends. The Legends have done excellently in defense of their title, with only a hiccup here or there this season. What's interesting is that Scared Hitless played them VERY tough, losing 50-42 early in the season. If the Legends get caught looking past Scared Hitless for the D1 final, they'll be watching it from the sidelines. Sadly, I think they'll be paying attention during this one and won't get surprised. LEGENDS BY 14

 

TSLQBPRC: Predictions are more fun when we disagree, and it's a decent bet we will soon... but not on D1.  Can Scared Hitless beat Legends?  Sure, of course, but that line of 14 points is exactly where we would put it.  They'll need a few big plays to steal this one, but we don't see it happening. LEGENDS BY 14

 

#3 Sticky Bandits (5-3-1) vs #4 Eyes Downtown (5-4)

Points For: SB 34.22 (4th), ED 36.67 (3rd)

Points Against: SB 27.89 (3rd), ED 24.67 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: SB 15th, ED 17th

Past Games: ED 44 - SB 15, SB 36 - ED 24

Line: Eyes Downtown (-3)

 

GF: Pretty awesome matchup here between two teams that tend to have great games most of the time. With that said, Eyes Downtown blew out Sticky 44-15, but Sticky came back to win by 12 in the second game. I think both of those games are anomalies, and this one is going to come down to a one score game. Eyes Downtown isn't nearly as feared as they once were, since they've been adding pieces season after season instead of getting the continuity they once had in their heyday. On the other hand, Sticky has been nothing but consistent, growing together with just about everyone they started with, adding pieces here and there only when absolutely needed. What you get here is a "family" playing together and for each other, and that's why Sticky is always a tough out. STICKY BANDITS BY 2

 

TSLQBPRC: Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown is a coin flip to us.  The Sticky Bandits have better chemistry and continuity... Eyes Downtown have a cyborg quarterback sent back in time to score points (and probably kill John Connor).  These teams have nearly always come down to the last drive against each other and we don't expect this to be any different.  We'll take STICKY BANDITS BY 3 to set up the championship rematch.

 

 

D1 Final Prediction:  

 

GF: A D1 Final rematch! The Legends snuck by Sticky in the regular season this year, they snuck by them in the D1 final in the spring, and they're going to sneak by them again this Saturday, but it's going to be closer than ever. LEGENDS BY 1.

 

TSLQBPRC: Of course Legends murdered the short-handed Bandits in the Finals last spring but every other game these teams have played has come down to the last play.  We expect this one will too... with Boccio making the game sealing play, and Joey somehow stealing all the credit. LEGENDS BY 6

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#2 No Punt Intended 21, #7 The Replacements 0 (FF)

#6 Buffalo Vice Retro 20, #3 Freeballers 17

#4 Dilfs 43, #5 The Untouchaballs 37

 

The Replacements end their brutal season the only plausible way: forfeiting a playoff game, which is super weak. Speaking of weak, the Freeballers surprise nobody by laying an egg in the playoffs, losing once again to BVR this season. And lastly, the Dilfs won another great game with The Untouchaballs, as they continue to do DILFs things.

 

#1 Frodo Swaggins (8-1) vs #6 Buffalo Vice Retro (3-6)

Points For: Frodo 36.11 (2nd), BVR 19.11 (6th)

Points Against: Frodo 22.36 (1st), BVR 31.22 (5th)

TSL Ranking: Frodo 2nd, BVR 3th

Past Games: Frodo 29 - BVR 0

Line: Frodo Swaggins (-13)

 

GF: BVR gets all the credit in the world for coming out and putting together their best game of the season last week in their upset over the Freeballers. But even then, they only won by 3 points. Frodo Swaggins is a much different animal here. The weakest link for Frodo is Garrett, and he’s been excellent this season, so there isn’t a thing that shows me “upset” here. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17

 

TSLQBPRC: Buffalo Vice Retro was a nice story beating Freeballers.  But that was a 3-6 team beating a 4-5 team.  Frodo Swaggins is 8-1 and one of their wins came against D1. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 22

 

#2 No Punt Intended (7-2) vs #4 DILFs (4-5)

Points For: NPI 37.13 (1st), DILFs 35.11 (3rd)

Points Against: NPI 29.00 (3rd), DILFs 35.33 (6th)

TSL Ranking: NPI 10th, DILFs 29th

Past Games: NPI 36 - DILFs 21

Line: NPI (-8)

 

GF: NPI has looked every bit as unstoppable as Frodo this season, and while I love upsets, and I REALLY, REALLY want to pick the DILFs here, I just love the entire NPI roster and what it can do. As long as Kyle doesn’t mess anything up by being horrible, NPI should take this one. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 3

 

TSLQBPRC: How did these teams do against each other the first time?  Looks like NPI won by 15 points about a month ago.  We actually think it'll be even worse this time, with DILFS lacking their best weapon in Travis.  NO PUNT INTENDED BY 20.

 

D2 Final Prediction:

 

GF: An absolute slobberknocker of a final between the division’s top two teams. They’ve been on a warpath to this moment since the season started in August, and we’re going to see some fireworks. Both teams have very good players, but, to quote B’s Brother “at the end of the day” Frodo just has more firepower and I’m too chicken to pick NPI here. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 6

 

TSLQBRC: This is the main event of the day, two heavyweights who somehow played each other twice this season but never at anything resembling full strength.  We'd be fools to pick against "undefeated against D2 teams" Kyle Conniff... but we're going to anyway because we believe in Big Game Beesing.  Can we ban Sean Weisensal from D2 forever if Frodo wins?  FRODO SWAGGINS BY 2

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#8 Practice Squad 30, #1 Mountain Dew Me 14

#2 Bullet Club 29, #7 Get Schwifty 15

#6 Itches and Ohs 43, #3 716 35

#4 Scott Senior’s Starting 42, #5 Can’t Touch This 31

 

Practice Squad continues one of the TSL’s better rivalries, as the pull a pretty big upset over the #1 seeded MDM. Bullet Club handled things to survive Get Schwifty. Itches and Ohs finally looked like the team we know them to be and outdueled 716 for a mild upset, and SSS woke up for the playoffs to take the win over CTT.

 

 

#2 Bullet Club (7-2) vs #8 Practice Squad (2-6-1)

Points For: BC 31.38 (3rd), PS 28.89 (5th)

Points Against: BC 23.13 (1st), PS 33.56 (7th)

TSL Ranking: BC 9th, PS 42nd

Past Games: BC 35 - PS 17

Line: Bullet Club (-6)

 

GF: Practice Squad comes into their big rivalry game and just shuts down Mountain Dew Me last week. All reports back to me say that B was electric, and there’s always something about a MDM game that gets him as hyped as possible. Bullet Club has been good all season, and they bring their top ranked defense into this one, which has forced many turnovers this year. You see teams have a huge letdown all of the time after a huge, emotional win, and last week that’s what PS had. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

TSLQBPRC: A couple weeks ago we would have taken Bullet Club without a second thought.  They're the better team this session, with a better record, better offense, better defense, better everything.  But...  Man, B looked like a different guy on Saturday.  Practice Squad just seemed like they were on a MISSION and they didn't carry themselves like underdogs.  If we're looking for an upset (and we are, because we love them) why not here in the TSL's toughest division?  PRACTICE SQUAD BY 4

 

#4 Scott Senior’s Starting (4-5) vs #6 Itches and Ohs (3-5-1)

Points For: SSS 35.33 (1st), Ohs 24.00 (7th)

Points Against: SSS 33.33 (6th), Ohs 29.89 (5th)

TSL Ranking: SSS 25th, Ohs 31st

Past Games: Ohs 39 - SSS 36

Line: EVEN

 

GF: The metrics suggest that SSS should be favored, but the Itches offense we saw last week is a lot more accurate than the one that averaged only 24 points a game this season. It was an “off” year for Itches for sure, and they’re better than their record suggests (which they proved last week in beating up on 716). While SSS is a great team with miles of experience, I don’t feel like they have much momentum going into this game, and it just “feels” like an Itches win, so that’s where I’m going with it. ITCHES AND OHS BY 7

 

TSLQBPRC: Wouldn't it be great if Scott Senior actually started and SSS won the whole damn playoffs?  Instead it's... we're not sure, Newman again?  He's a great QB and they're going to score a lot of points, but Itches always brings an intensity for playoffs that we don't always see in the regular season.  Say what you will about Steve Moser but no one has ever accused him of giving a lazy effort.  We think we'll see another minor upset here as Itches advance.  ITCHES AND OHS BY 2

 

D3 Finals Predictions:

 

GF: Bullet Club vs Itches and Ohs. These two teams only met once during the season in a 13-9 Bullet Club win that wasn’t very fun to watch for anyone on the sidelines. Both teams were missing pieces that week, so the game we’ll see here will be completely different. This entire game hinges on whether or not the BC defense can keep the Ohs offense out of the end zone. I think they can. BULLET CLUB BY 9

 

TSLQBPRC: Practice Squad vs Itches and Ohs. Godfather, we can't IMAGINE we will have the same D3 finals predictions (Note: we do these predictions separately and send them to each other afterwards), because honestly any of these four teams could meet in the Finals.  What a great division.  If it DOES come to Practice Squad vs Itches (an #8 seed and a #6 seed...) remember that they've played each other twice this season with Itches going 1-0-1 in those games.  And yet... B ups the intensity every round.  We could see him falling in the Quarterfinals, maybe even the Semis, but losing in the Finals?  This is the guy that almost beat "world-beater Mountain Dew Me" a few sessions ago.  We won't bet against Practice Squad in the finals. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#8 Travis Henry’s Kids 56, #1 Cunning Stunts 25

#2 Puckett All-Stars 42, #7 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 6

#3 Zack Attack 56, #6 Vaspian 18

#5 Spinelli’s Plumbing 48, #4 Buffalo Vice 43

 

Points. Points everywhere. Travis Henry’s Kids become the newest team to kick the Stunts out of the playoffs after they terrorized everyone in the regular season, while showing that maybe they were better than an 8 seed. Puckett just demolished ILF up and down the field, and Zack Attack did the same with Vaspian. Spinelli’s squeaked by Buffalo Vice in a fantastic game that saw both offenses light things up.

 

#2 Puckett All-Stars (8-1) vs #8 Travis Henry’s Kids (3-6)

Points For: PAS 42.89 (2nd), THK 28.44 (6th)

Points Against: PAS 29.56 (3rd), THK 32.44 (6th)

TSL Ranking: PAS 3rd, THK 38th

Past Games: PAS 48 - THK 19

Line: Puckett All-Stars (-12)

 

GF: THK took down the Stunts last week, and get arguably a harder task this weekend, getting a Puckett All-Stars team that has now won 9 straight games. Their only loss was to the Stunts in Week 1, a team that THK has now beaten in two consecutive weeks. It’s been a fun couple of weeks for THK, but PAS is on another level right now. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 8

 

TSLQBPRC: Puckett would have been the favorites here even if THK had their "top guy" Pete Walbrandt.  But they don't.  So... Puckett by a lot? PUCKETT BY A LOT (LET’S SAY 19)

 

#3 Zack Attack (6-3) vs #5 Spinelli’s Plumbing (4-4-1)

Points For: ZA 33.67 (5th), SP 39.33 (3rd)

Points Against: ZA 22.33 (1st), SP 36.22 (8th)

TSL Ranking: ZA 12th, SP 21st

Past Games: ZA 36 - SP 14

Line: Zack Attack (-8)

 

GF: Both of these teams can put up some offense normally, but let’s face it, Spinelli’s has struggled against the division’s top defenses. If they can’t score at will, they still can’t stop anyone (as shown by their 8th ranked defense). While we’d love to watch a shootout, Zack Attack’s defense is going to stop Spinelli’s a bunch more times than they stop ZA’s offense, and I expect to see a game similar to the 36-14 battle they had this season. ZACK ATTACK BY 16

 

TSLQBPRC: This has potential to be the game of the day.  We like Zack Attack because they can do a little of everything, but Spinelli's has the firepower to surprise everyone.  We just don't think they will.  ZACK ATTACK BY 9

 

D4 Finals Predictions:

 

GF: This is a world class game we have right here. Both Puckett and Zack Attack can score, and yeah, they can stop you too. These two teams are even all over the place, as evidenced by a 32-31 Puckett win in their only meeting this season, but it just felt like Puckett has been on a mission the entire season, and that chip on their shoulder will give them the edge to replicate that early season result. This feels like a “last play of the game for the championship” type of battle. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 1

 

TSLQBPRC: The two best teams in D4 (sorry Stunts!) will slug it out for the championship in the last game of the day.  Both are worthy of winning and moving up to D3.  But it's harder to be the favorite with the burden of expectations, and easier to be the "no one believed in us" underdog, so we'll say ZACK ATTACK BY 3

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#3 Passing While Intoxicated 23, #6 Let’s Get Reccked 15

#5 Today’s Feast 14, #4 Woodpeckers 13

 

Passing While Intoxicated handled Let’s Get Reccked, but much more noteworthy is the big win by Today’s Feast, getting by the Woodpeckers in a mild upset.

 

#1 TMA (7-2) vs #5 Today’s Feast (3-6)

Points For: TMA 34.89 (1st), TF 24.44 (4th)

Points Against: TMA 25.00 (3rd), TF 30.89 (6th)

TSL Ranking: TMA 8th, TF 39th

Past Games: TMA 27 - TF 14, TMA 48 - TF 40

Line: TMA (-13)

 

GF: TMA seems to have gotten their losing out of the way early this season, and last year’s surprise loss to a weaker PWI has them not taking anyone lightly. They’ve mostly dominated Today’s Feast on the field, including a large comeback win a couple of weeks ago. When TMA is on, nobody can touch them. Today’s Feast had a great win, and like I’ve said 400 times this year, they’re improving every time they touch the field. This one just ain’t it for them. TMA BY 17

 

TSLQBPRC: TMA won both of their matchups this season, first by 13 and then by 8.  Feast should put up a fight, but that's all they'll do. TMA BY 11

 

#2 Come From Behind (6-3) vs #3 Passing While Intoxicated (4-4-1)

Points For: CFB 31.33 (2nd), PWI 25.89 (3rd)

Points Against: CFB 21.33 (1st), PWI 24.89 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: CFB 14th, PWI 22nd)

Past Games: CFB 46 - PWI 20, PWI 30 - CFB 16

Line: CFB (-4)

 

GF: This is a story of two teams going in different directions. CFB hasn’t been winning much recently, while PWI have been playing great. I won’t take a thing away from PWI, they’ve started to gel together and they’re becoming one of the TSL’s up and coming teams. We learned last year that they tend to peak in the playoffs. The problem for them is that they came out and punched TMA and CFB in the mouth right before playoffs, which took away their element of surprise. CFB is arguably the best team overall (according to the metrics) in the division, but they haven’t played well since the weather turned. Good thing for them it’s going to be 70 degrees this weekend, and that should let the old joints that are on that roster get moving properly again. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

 

Come From Behind haven't had a quality win in like a month, and Passing While Intoxicated have had nothing BUT quality wins.  Oh, Come From Behind is still a much better team on paper, but we don't decide winners on paper. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 3

 

D5 Final Prediction:

 

GF: The top two teams in D5 meet again, as we get the third match between TMA and Come From Behind. TMA won the first meeting by a single point, but then won again a week later by 21. I expect we’ll see a game a lot more like the first meeting. Unless Paul dials up some magic from 1979, we’ll see TMA take home the gold. TMA BY 2

 

TSLQBPRC: Passing While Intoxicated you scrappy little underdogs, we expect you to still be fighting come the D5 Finals.  And you won't give a bad effort either.  But TMA are better than you, and although they won't play to their full potential, it'll still be enough. TMA BY 5

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#6 Punt Cakes 24, #3 Superior Moser Squad 17

#4 Two Tuddies 53, #5 Lenny’s Ladies 10

 

The Punt Cakes pull off the D6 version of the “big upset” and the Two Tuddies remain incredibly hot.

 

#1 Not So Sticky (8-1) vs #6 Punt Cakes (2-7)

Points For: NSS 37.22 (1st), PC 31.13 (3rd)

Points Against: NSS 24.78 (2nd), PC 31.63 (5th)

TSL Ranking: NSS 4th, PC 45th

Past Games: NSS 40 - PC 39, NSS 27 - PC 26

Line: NSS (-6)

 

GF: On paper, this game should be a no-nonsense blowout. An 8-1 team taking on a 2-7 team that hasn’t been all that great? If you look at “Past Games”, Punt Cakes has taken NSS to the limit twice, losing two games by one point. They’re a much better team than you think they are, and in their minds they HAVE to know they can beat NSS, especially if NSS is at the bar for hours beforehand. PUNT CAKES BY 1

 

TSLQBPRC: People keep saying Not So Sticky will be "too drunk" to take this game seriously.  And that's true.  But Not So Sticky always does well in the playoffs despite their intoxication (remember when they almost beat freakin' Spinelli's??).  We expect a close game.  They've played each other twice before this season, with NSS winning by 1 the first time and... winning by 1 the second time.  Why change it now? NOT SO STICKY BY 1

 

#2 Blitzkrieg (6-3) vs #4 Two Tuddies (3-6)

Points For: BK 34.00 (2nd), TT 23.33 (5th)

Points Against: BK 24.00 (1st), TT 28.78 (4th)

TSL Ranking: BK 13th, TT 33rd

Past Games: BK 30 - TT 14, TT 31 - BK 23

Line: Blitzkrieg (-11)

 

GF: The Two Tuddies have been on the best run in their short history, and I’m happy to see them doing well. BUT, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, they didn’t magically wake up drinking “Mike’s Secret Stuff” from Space Jam and become world beaters. In reality, while they’re 3-0 in the last two weeks, they won two games on a very blustery/cold day, and then last week they got to feast on “Playoff Langley” in the wind and rain. They’re shaping up to be a very good bad weather team, but on a 70 degree day with no wind (like Saturday!) they’ve yet to prove themselves. Blitzkrieg has been waiting to win D6 for what feels like forever now. Add into the fact that they will NOT look past the Tud Buds after the upset two weeks ago, and I don’t see them losing to them again. BLITZKRIEG BY 13

 

TSLQBPRC: Two Tuddies has captured the hearts of the TSL and everyone who has talked to this team seems to be rooting for them.  Blitzkrieg are the better team though, right?  Do the Tuddies have an answer for Mackenzie Neary? BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

D6 Finals Predictions:

 

GF: Blitzkrieg vs Punt Cakes, just as everyone predicted. These two teams never faced off this season (Punt Cakes forfeited the only matchup) so there’s not a ton to go on, except for the fact that I’ve supported Blitzkrieg for forever now. History is here, waiting for them. Finally. This is their moment, their shot to finally do what they’ve always wanted. What I’ve always wanted for them. No stupid Punt Cakes (sorry guys, its a thing here) will stand in their way. BLITZKRIEG BY 100 (or really like 12)

 

TSLQBPRC: In a division where anyone really can win any game, somehow, we've picked the two favorites.  That's boring.  But it's probably also accurate.  These teams have battled it out twice to the very end.  Why not make it three great games for the season?  Not So Sticky's drinking catches up to them and they fall to Blitzkrieg... then order more shots.  BLITZKRIEG BY 5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Who is the most important player in each division’s title race?

 

TSLQBPRC:

1. The most important player in D1 is Joey Batts. If he has a good game, Legends wins, it's that simple. Their only path to failure is him throwing picks. 
2. D2 is Kyle Conniff, as the QB and best defender for Frodo's only real contender. They're not winning the title without a big day from Kyle. 
3. Jeff Easton might be the most important player in D3 as the QB for the highest seeded team remaining. He's been great this season, but how will he respond if Bullet Club gets punched in the mouth and falls behind 14-0 early? 
4. We've taken three QBs so far (what do you want from us, we write a weekly article about QBs) but we'll go with Misty Himes and Sam Lattuca in D4 (yeah we're cheating and taking two). Zack Attack has the edge on best girls and that HAS to be the difference if they want to win a championship on Saturday. 
5. For D5 how about Buddy Lee? The top two teams are so stacked that they can win with an off day from just about anyone.  For PWI to keep their momentum going, they need a big game from Buddy.
6. Chris Wolcott from Two Tuddies for D6. He's so athletic he gives them a chance to win every game.  If he ever has an off day (he hasn't yet) his team is in trouble

GF: The most important player for each division race? Hmm. In D1, it's Dylan Day. If he can continue to dial up some excellent play, with the weapons he has, there’s always a chance that if he doesn’t turn the ball over, we can see another huge upset. In D2, all eyes are on Garrett Beesing. That man is locked in, but he’s historically crumbled (mostly) in the playoffs, and with all of the pressure will he crack? In D3, It’s none other than B on Practice Squad. He put the team on his shoulders to beat the rivals in MDM last week, but he’s got an even tougher task this week. In D4, it's the entire Zack Attack Defense. If they can continue to shut down everyone, including juggernaut Puckett, they’re going to be partying all night long. In D5 it's Ryan Henry on TMA. He has the weapons, and as long as he plays it cool and just plays his game, TMA will be walking into D4 in the spring. In D6, it's Light Red Hoodie Guy. Besides being a TSL staple for quite some time, he took over some (partial?) duties at QB and Blitzkrieg hasn’t really missed a step. If LRHG plays well, D6 is theirs.

 

2. Who's winning Breakfast Club?

 

TSLQBPRC: Garrett fucking Beesing, that's who's winning Breakfast Club.  And here's a spoiler for next Spring too, he's winning it again.  Three time back-to-back champ, you heard it here first.  No one knows how to seamlessly integrate a mix of experienced and inexperienced players like Garrett does.  All fun, no stress, he's the guy you want to be your Breakfast Club captain.  So we'll take Team Jennacide for the championship.

 

GF: Steph Infection. Steph has once again built a team that has made it to the finals, and when people didn’t think her team would win it last session, they prevailed. Newman has played lights out for this squad, as he continues to prove that it's a joke he isn’t a starting QB for someone in this league. That will change come spring.

 

 

3. Most Underrated teams in the TSL that could shock everyone?

 

TSLQBPRC: If girls are the "difference maker" in this League (and we all know they are) why isn't Scared Hitless getting more credit going into Championship weekend?  They beat Tight Ends in Motion already, would it be THAT shocking if they beat Legends and then won the Finals?  We won't take anyone in D3 because frankly NONE of those teams would be shocking to win, so our last pick will be Punt Cakes.  Not ONE of you is talking about Punt Cakes (other than maybe on the Punt Cakes team chat) but they've been solid all season and they play well against the best teams.  It wouldn't surprise us at all if they went all the way.

 

GF: This feels so weird to say that they’re being underrated, but the DILFs are being completely overlooked here. Everyone's so focused on Frodo vs No Punt Intended that it probably means one of those teams won’t even make the D2 finals, as is TSL tradition. The DILFs have a ton of talent, and as long as Dubey is throwing that rock, they can beat anyone, or at least surprise everyone.

 

4. What is the storyline no one is talking about but should be?

 

TSLQBPRC: Puckett All-Stars are the favorites to win D4, which would tie Public Enemy for most championships in league history with five. Granted, it would be more impressive if they moved up after winning divisions (this would be their record third title in the same division) but it's still noteworthy.

 

GF: The greatest storyline we aren’t talking about much is that Sean Weisensal can potentially win a D1/D2 double championship for the second straight year in a row, and I don't think we’ll ever see anything quite like that again for a while. If he pulls it off.

 

5. Who do you MOST and LEAST want to see win championships?

 

TSLQBPRC: MOST - either Travis Henry’s Kids (if for no reason other than to make Langley look ridiculous for wanting to be in D5) or Two Tuddies after going winless last season in their debut. LEAST - Scott Senior’s Starting purely for their failure to deliver on promises of Scott Senior.

 

GF: MOST - I think It's pretty clear I want Blitzkrieg to win the most at this point. They deserve it. WE deserve it. LEAST - Eyes Downtown. I had to pick someone, so I'll pick the team that has a bunch of players more worried about a lame flag league than the TSL.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1) Don't want the season to end this week?  It doesn't have to!  Contact a League official or find Emily Schilling at the fields on Saturday and ask about Halloween Bowl on October 29th

 

2) Breakfast Club Prediction: Steph Infection 37, Jennacide 26.

 

3) Winter session is coming, and people are already forming their teams.  Don't get left out!  Winters in Buffalo can be a lonely time without all your TSL friends.  Reach out to a League official if you have any questions, and the League will be emailing captains in the next week or two with more details on registration.

 

4) Even if your team has been eliminated in the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality, you should still come out to watch some great football and have a few drinks with the league! It’ll be a perfect day for it!

 

5) While your whole team is gathered together on Saturday basking in victory (or wallowing in defeat, I don't care) why not remind them of the 2022 Awards Banquet?  It should be Friday December 9th at the Hotel Lafayette.  Details will be sent soon, but tell your teammates to save the date now.

 

6) Is the reigning TSL Executive of the Year going to finally make an appearance this Saturday for more than an hour or so?? If he does, it is your sworn duty as a player in this League to make sure he doesn't pay for a single drink all day.

 

7) Shout out to Garrett (again, it seems) for taking over the mantle of Head of Officiating this season. It’s not a fun job at times, and there were definitely some bumps along the way this season, but he always kept a positive attitude and listened to criticism. He took the job very seriously and did well.

 

8) Other shout outs go out to Travis for dealing with the sublist requests every week and then arguing with teams about why they can’t stack their squad with subs. Jeff Krol gets a huge shout out for doing a lot of the “Topper Work” this season. Joe K and Emily Schilling did a really nice job on the podcast this year as well. (Which, if you want to be on it this week, find one of the above people and request an appearance!)

 

9) 70 degrees and sunny is the perfect weather to end a touch football season in Western New York.  We'd hate to be some other Leagues that started late and will likely finish in the snow...

 

10) …and don’t forget your sunscreen for Championship Saturday. And don’t be jerks to the refs.

 

 

That’s it, we’re here. The next stop is the finish line as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality comes to an end for the Fall 2022 season. Which teams will get to call themselves the undisputed best Co-ed football teams in WNY? Let’s find out.

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 07 October 2022 14:07

Published: Friday, 07 October 2022 14:07

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 636

 

            Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is almost here. What do you mean we’ve been playing for 7 weeks already? That’s just the preseason. Everyone knows the TSL “regular season” is just an excuse to practice for the end of season tournament known as the playoffs (except for those of you in D4, who will sadly have 2 teams miss out on the Playoff Excitement) and test out your livers at the bar.

 

            The Regular Season isn’t exactly “pointless”, as it fosters rivalries, fun times, and really gives teams a chance to figure things out. And of course, while only D4 has teams in danger of not being a part of the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, the other divisions (besides YOU D3) have bye weeks to play for.

 

            “But all wise and knowing Godfather, why would a team want a bye week? Don’t they want to play football and not get rusty?!?!”

 

            Only if they’re idiots. If there’s one thing that can be promised for the playoffs, it's that crazy things will happen. Top seeds will lose to bottom seeds. Favorites for the championship will be sent home early. Even the “Slam Dunks” out there. One of the biggest reasons everyone loves this league is because everyone (except for you, Freeballers) has a legit chance to make some magic happen and win the championship. Getting the bye week ensures that you’ll be on the field during Championship Saturday, and that’s the only way to guarantee that. Or, well, being in D2 and finishing 2nd to play The Replacements. That might be a guarantee too.

 

            So before we get into what’s at stake this week for each divisional race, let’s remind the TSL Universe about the answer to the most asked question in the final week of ANY TSL regular season: What are the tiebreakers?

 

The first tiebreaker, of course, is “Points”, which are awarded as 3 points for a win, and 1 for a Tie. But most of you know that already. The next tiebreaker is Head to Head. Most teams have played each other at least once, so if you beat the team you’re tied with, you finish above them. Makes sense. But what if you played twice and split the series? Well, we move on to Head to Head Score Differential. What that means is combined score in all of your games against the team you’re tied with, apparently among common opponents? I don’t fully understand Topper’s weird formulas either. If you’re magically tied after this, it goes to overall Point Differential, and then just Points For. If you’re tied after all of that, your captains will be locked in a cage against Cookie Monster, Elmo, and B’s Brother, and whoever escapes first will win. Basically, beat the team you’re playing and don’t leave it up to something Topper invented.

 

There are a few things at stake in just about every single division, so the games this week matter to a degree. Let’s get into it.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Legends 36, Tight Ends In Motion 30

Sticky Bandits 36, Eyes Downtown 24

Grey Hair Don’t Care 33, Scared Hitless 33 (TIE)

Passed Our Prime 21, The Replacements 0 (Forfeit)

 

The Legends immediately get their win back and I was told there were fireworks afterwards. We’ve got ourselves a D1 rivalry! We haven’t had teams yelling at each other since the glory days of Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown, and what do these two “disagreements” full of smack talk have in common? Boccio and Heather. Not a surprise. Sticky Bandits finally beat someone ahead of them in the standings, as they begin to peak at the right time. Grey Hair Don’t Care and Scared Hitless battle hard against each other in a tie, and Hogan is saved the embarrassment from losing to The Replacements as they had to forfeit.

 

 

What’s At Stake: The fate of the TSL Universe. But not really. Tight Ends In Motion can secure the bye week with a win this week in a D1/D2 Crossover Game with Frodo Swaggins. If the Legends win, and TEIM loses, they get the bye. As for the others, Sticky can win both of their games and finish 3rd overall over Eyes Downtown, and the bottom half of the division can get all jumbled up as well.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+6) - This game means a lot for the Legends, as both Sean and Joey were in my email inbox this week crying over their rankings for some reason. As a result, I think they’re in “prove it” mode, and they’ll want to finish out strong. Eyes Downtown doesn’t have much to play for, they’re in 3rd or 4th either way. LEGENDS BY 12

 

Sticky Bandits vs Passed Our Prime (+20) - What a season for POP. It just feels like they were never able to fully replace Kyle/Sean and as a result they’ve suffered for it. A date with TEIM/Legends in the first round seems to be their fate. Sticky, however, is on the upswing. It hasn’t been a top season for them, but they’ve still proceeded to show up each week. They should blow POP out. STICKY BANDITS BY 17

 

Sticky Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - Grey Hair attempts to have that late season magic once more, but it's proving harder in D1. 2-5-1 isn’t a season to remember and chances are they’ll be running for the bus (literally, i believe) in this one. Sticky needs this game to probably secure 3rd place, so they’ll be all business. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+6) - Scared Hitless seems to have stagnated a little bit this season, perhaps they’re just trying to get to the playoffs and then kick it up a notch. I was surprised to see them tie Grey Hair, and it feels like they’re ripe for the picking against a hungrier POP squad. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 2

 

SUPER IMPORTANT D1/D2 CROSSOVER GAME

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - I hope both teams are at full strength, because it’ll be nice to see if the rumors of “Frodo is a D1 team” are true. In reality, other than seeing how well they’d fare in D1, Frodo has nothing to play for. They’ve clinched the number one seed in D2 (even with a loss) thanks to beating NPI worse than NPI beat them. TEIM is playing for the bye in D1, so they “need” this game a bit more. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 12

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 51, No Punt Intended 12

Buffalo Vice Retro 37, The Untouchaballs 36

Freeballers 34, DILFs 32

 

Frodo beats up on a weak NPI team to claim the D2 bye for the playoffs, Buffalo Vice Retro upsets The Untouchaballs as whispers about replacing Seth for the future start to get louder, and the Freeballers probably got the DILFs drunk at the bar before the game, beating them by 2 to take sole possession of 3rd place.

 

What’s At Stake:  Honestly, not too much. Frodo Swaggins has already clinched 1st and the bye, and No Punt Intended has already clinched 2nd place and The Replacements (7 seed, also a basic bye). That leaves the 3-6, 4-5 matchups to be decided, and that’s where things get fun. If the Freeballers win, they finish 3rd, with the Dilfs/BVR winner in 4th. If the Dilfs win, and The Untouchaballs beat The Replacements, UT finishes ahead of BVR based on the head to head differential. If Freeballers lose, and BVR wins, BVR finishes 3rd based on a 20-13 victory over Freeballers. If Freeballers lose and Dilfs win, Freeballers win that tiebreaker. The point is, a lot of shaking up can happen here between the 3-6 teams in the division.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Freeballers (+7) - This game probably means next to nothing for NPI, as they’re more focused on keeping everyone healthy for the playoffs. It means a lot to the Freeballers who are desperate to be considered legit contenders for the throne in D2, but are still seen as a step or two below the Frodo/NPIs of the world. Even with that, I expect NPI to barely show up and Freeballers take home a big win. FREEBALLERS BY 8

 

DILFs vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+7) - As described above, a pretty big game for each team, although I’m sure they care who they play in the playoffs. Props to BVR for finally seeming to figure things out. They’re winning and looking a lot more like a contender than they had in the first few weeks of the season. The DILFs are right on schedule with their 4-5 or 3-6 record, and then Dubey will show up in the playoffs and they’ll end up playing in the finals somehow. BVR keeps the good times rolling. BUFFALO VICE RETRO BY 3

 

The Untouchaballs vs The Replacements (+25) - Not exactly the season that UT dreamed when they joined D2, but then again I guess I could say the same for The Replacements too. Not much to say here, Burr and Company get it together before the playoffs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 19

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Scott Seniors Starting 34, Bullet Club 25

Bullet Club 39, Can’t Touch This 26

Practice Squad 37, 716 28

Get Schwifty 46, Can’t Touch This 8

716 27, Get Schwifty 16

Mountain Dew Me 42, Itches and Ohs 25

 

 

D3 continues to be pretty tight everywhere in the standings, Bullet Club drops a game to Scott Seniors Starting before going 1-1 after beating Can’t Touch This, who would lose to Get Schwifty, who would then lose to 716, who had just lost to Practice Squad. Somewhere in there, Mountain Dew Me smacked around Itches and Ohs too.

 

 

What’s At Stake: Seeding galore! It’s an 8 team division here, so everyone is going to make the playoffs. But who’s playing who? Bullet Club is leading the division at 6-2, and even with a victory over Get Schwifty, they can’t clinch 1st overall. The “controversial” loss to Mountain Dew Me means that if MDM wins both of their games this week, They’ll finish 1st overall in D3. 716 is currently in 2nd place at 5-3, but they play MDM. If 716 wins this game, Bullet Club loses theirs, and MDM goes on to beat Can't Touch This, all of them will be 6-3. Some fancy tiebreaker math says that in this scenario, the Head To Head games would have 716 at 2-1, Bullet Club at 1-1, and MDM at 1-2, in which case, MDM gets eliminated and it goes to BC vs 716, which BC beat them, and we’d finish Bullet Club 1st, 716 2nd, MDM 3rd. I think. This is when Topper’s magic machine just does its work and everything I just said is probably wrong. It just gets worse from there. Practice Squad and Itches and Ohs play for who finishes 8th. The winner can move up higher with a Get Schwifty loss, and if CTT loses both of their games they could move up as high as 5th. CTT could win both and jump from 6th to 4th. This entire division is a complete mess seedings wise.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

716 vs Mountain Dew Me (+3) - Game of the day potential. 716 already beat MDM once before, and a win here gives them 2nd place for sure. MDM has been on a pretty good streak this season after a slow start, and they have 1st place in their sights. I’m voting for max chaos in the standings. 716 BY 1

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Can’t Touch This (+10) - CTT could get TONS of momentum with two massive wins over MDM (and SSS after this). People have talked for the longest time about how handsome/talented Ryan Dougherty is, and it was this time last season that CTT shocked the world and rolled to the D4 title game. With Anthony “The Better” Battaglia there as well now, maybe its time for an upset. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Can’t Touch This (+8) - SSS gets a downgrade at QB this week as Scotty Dro takes over for Dylan Jaloza who subbed last weekend. CTT might shock the world an hour earlier, but not twice. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 8

 

Bullet Club vs Get Schwifty (+9) - Bullet Club took the victory in Week 1 of the season when these two teams met. Since then, Schwifty has been up and down, but they’ve been better as of late as the team starts to meld together. BC has lost 2 of their last 3, but they’ve been in both of the losses. BC will know before the game starts if it means anything (MDM going 2-0 means BC will be 2nd no matter what) which will affect the outcome. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

Practice Squad vs Itches and Ohs (EVEN) - These two teams already tied once, so they’re evenly matched. Don’t look now though, but Practice Squad might be starting to get it together at the right time. Meanwhile, Itches and Ohs feels like they’re just off this whole season. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian 27, Spinelli’s Plumbing 18

Buffalo Vice 50, TOX 8

Buffalo Vice 47, Travis Henry’s Kids 20

Puckett All-Stars 48, Travis Henry’s Kids 19

Zack Attack 39, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 8

Zack Attack 48, Cobblestone 12

Cunning Stunts 53, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 36

 

Vaspian shuts Spinelli’s down and announces they’re a force in D4. Buffalo Vice goes off against teams that they were in the “race” for missing the playoffs in, and they clinch a playoff spot. Puckett continues to dominate. Zack Attack showed last week was a hiccup, and they just continue to dump points on the league, going 2-0. THK and ILF both go 0-2 in games they should probably be trying harder to win in. The Stunts also walk to 8-0 with a relatively easy win.

 

What’s At Stake: Not much at the top. The Stunts will make a run at being 9-0, and Puckett is right behind them at 7-1. There will be some movement for the 3-7 seeds, but the REAL fun is right there at the bottom of the standings. Right now, NOBODY is officially eliminated from the playoffs (probably). Our wild tiebreakers can come into play for who makes and misses the playoffs between THK (2-6), Cobblestone (1-7), and TOX (1-7). Here are the scenarios:

 

            -If THK wins against the Cunning Stunts, THK clinches the 8 seed, TOX and Cobblestone are eliminated.

 

            -If THK loses and :

1. Cobblestone wins against Vaspian, TOX wins against Zack Attack - All teams are tied with a 2-7 record, which goes to Head to Head between them all. All 3 teams are 1-1 against each other. This means its up to Topper’s Magic Machine after that, and I still don’t know what will happen. I *think* TOX MAKES PLAYOFFS, THK and Cobblestone Eliminated, but in reality this could be completely wrong. In the interest of TOX having something to play for, I’m going to say this is what happens.
2. Cobblestone wins, TOX loses - COBBLESTONE MAKES PLAYOFFS, THK (as a result of a 27-7 loss to Cobblestone) and TOX Eliminated
3. Cobblestone loses, TOX wins - THK MAKES PLAYOFFS, Cobblestone and TOX (as a result of 41-19 loss to THK) Eliminated
4. Cobblestone loses, TOX loses - THK MAKES PLAYOFFS, COBBLESTONE AND TOX ELIMINATED.

 

Wild things are at stake here.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Puckett has been fantastic since becoming “All We Do Is Qwinn Lite”, and it's awesome. They’ve been incredibly fun to hear about all season and this is no different. Spinelli’s got a bit humbled last weekend, and I expect a bounce back. Take the over in this one. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+8)  - Buffalo Vice is really starting to figure it out, and at the same time ILF is struggling. They’re without their QB for the rest of the season and they just look discombobulated. It's not the year of the ILF. BUFFALO VICE BY 12

 

Vaspian vs Cobblestone (+6) - Cobblestone isn’t dead, but there’s not much to suggest that they’re up for this challenge. It’s been an off year for Darryl, and unfortunately I think it ends with him and his crew missing the playoffs. VASPIAN BY 9

 

Cunning Stunts vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+17) - The entire world knows what the girls can do. They’re more than likely going to score on every possession, so THK needs to follow suit. They’ll need to get gender TDs along the way, but with the playoffs on the line, nobody would blame John Langley for just throwing bombs to Pistol Pete on every single play. The girls are very good, but there isn’t one of them that will be able to match up with him. Of course, does this essentially count as a playoff game? If so, +17 might not be enough points to give with Playoff Langley hanging around. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

Zack Attack vs TOX (+13) - TOX comes into this game with a playoff spot potentially on the line. As stated above, TOX needs a Cobblestone win to stay alive in the playoff race and they’ll know ahead of time if they get it or not. Hopefully they get the weak version of Zack Attack at 3:00 and sneak one out. Probably not though. ZACK ATTACK BY 18

 

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 26, Woodpeckers 14

Passing While Intoxicated 24, TMA 14

Woodpeckers 45, Today’s Feast 8

Let’s Get Reccked 35, Today’s Feast 22

 

Come From Behind continues to roll against any team that isn’t TMA. Speaking of TMA, they’ve now lost two in a row and seem to be primed to blow it in the playoffs yet again. The Woodpeckers hung tough with CFB and then blew out Today’s Feast, who went 0-2 this week as they also lost to LGR.

 

What’s At Stake: TMA and CFB have the two bye weeks locked up. If they both win, TMA takes the #1 seed based off their 2 wins over CFB this year. There can be some movement in the 3-6 matchups. If LGR beats the Woodpeckers, they can jump Today’s Feast if TF loses to TMA. PWI can finish 3rd with a win over CFB, but a loss and a WP win gives the Peckers 3rd.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - PWI seems to get the better of TMA, but not so much for CFB. Come From Behind gets ready for the playoffs. COME FROM BEHIND BY 18

 

Woodpeckers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - Woodpeckers have been pretty good as of late, now that their team shows up. They really got in the zone they were in just before they surprised everyone with a D6 title. They’ll be a hard out in the playoffs. WOODPECKERS BY 10

 

TMA vs Today’s Feast (+12) - If there’s a team in the TSL that needs a “get right” game, it’s TMA. They’ve been losing games they should be winning, and they know it. They’re too talented to mess up another “should be” title at this point, right? Today’s Feast has been as good as they ever were, but they’re just not quite on TMA’s level currently. TMA BY 8

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg 42, Superior Moser Squad 9

Not So Sticky 27, Punt Cakes 26

 

BK and NSS continue to dominate the division, as BK takes a nice win over SMS and NSS sneaks by Punt Cakes.

 

 

What’s At Stake: NSS already has the #1 seed wrapped up, as they have the tiebreaker over Blitzkrieg by 1 point (again, I think anyway, can’t stress this enough). Right now, SMS and Lenny’s Ladies have the 3 and 4 seeds. SMS is guaranteed to be either of those seeds, but Lenny’s Ladies could lose to NSS and the Tuddies this weekend to end up in a potential three way tie (if the Cakes and the Tuddies win their other games as well). There are quite a few options here as well.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Superior Moser Squad vs Punt Cakes (+2) - SMS is looking to end the season on a high note after a few hiccups,  while Punt Cakes is getting to the finish line looking pretty strong. They just took on NSS and almost beat them. They’re peaking at the right moment. PUNT CAKES BY 8

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Two Tuddies (+8) - Lenny’s Ladies look awesome some weeks, and other weeks they just can’t quite get into the end zone. They shouldn’t have that issue against the Tuddies, who are still working on how defense works, and I’m not sure the Tud Buds have the females to keep up with the gender TDs. LENNY’S LADIES BY 6

 

Not So Sticky vs Lenny’s Ladies (+13) - The last time these two teams met, NSS blew out the Ladies with Jeff Krol at QB. Now they’re going to get their “usual” QB behind center, (but not their best, Christine)which means things might be even more of a blowout here. NOT SO STICKY BY 20

 

Blitzkrieg vs Two Tuddies (+10) - Blitzkrieg looks every bit the part of a Spring D5 team whether they win or not. The Tuddies are just not on their level right now. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. What’s the most interesting race we have this weekend? Considering that not a single team in D4 is officially eliminated yet, it HAS to be that race. A Cobblestone win at 1:00 puts INCREDIBLE pressure on John Langley, and THK will have to beat the Stunts to get into the playoffs. On top of that, TOX will also be playing at the same time as THK, and they’ll be going for a playoff spot too. A Cobblestone loss at 1:00 is the worst thing, as THK will have clinched and there won’t be any drama at 3:00.\
2. What happened between Legends and Tight Ends In Motion? That’s easy. Alphas are going to alpha. Lots of smack talk was flying around by both teams in a close game. With all due respect to the rest of D1 (or, at least, Eyes Downtown and Sticky Bandits), we NEED a Legends vs TEIM rubber match for the D1 title. That’s just great watching.
3. What’s going on in Breakfast Club? The first round of the playoffs start this week. To nobody’s surprise, Amber Alert finished 6-0 and got a bye. Steph Infection went 5-1 and took the other. The Special Kay’s got first overall pick Jeremy Streit back and have since gone 2-0 to jump into BC contention. The Messy Jessie’s still haven’t had a game with a full team, unfortunately. Perhaps the first playoff game is the perfect time to do so?
4. We have an excellent week of TSL football with lots of games having meaning. What ruins it? First off, it’s Fall Fest weekend and like every year, people will be leaving the fields right away to get down to Ellicottville so they can stand at bars that are overcrowded and 6 people deep. Some won’t even show up to the games because they have a bus or a house down there. That’s going to skew some rosters for sure. The other issue is that Buffalo is looking like it’s going to be QUITE windy this Saturday, with winds getting up to 20 mph in 50 degree weather. It’s not going to be great. But that usually gives us some fun games and interesting results.
5. How do I sign up for Halloween Bowl? For anyone that’s officially heard, Jeff Krol announced on the podcast that the TSL will be having a fun, costume bowl like we used to do for “The 4 o’clock game”. This will include drinking on the fields and playing in costumes. If you want to sign up, you can tell Jeff, Joe K, Emily Schilling, or anyone else and they should be taking down names. The hope is to get 36 people (24 guys, 12 women at least) to dress up and play some costume football for a day. It’s ALWAYS a good time. It’s happening on 10/29, the time is TBD but will more than likely be around 11 or 12. The bar is also giving “Spooky Specials” to costumed participants. Buy a costume, put on an old one, and get out there!

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. I can’t believe football is already in its last week. The season goes by so incredibly fast every single time. Hopefully you’re all cherishing these last few weeks.
2. The Banquet is here! Officially, the World’s Greatest Party, our “Wedding without the Wedding” is coming back after THREE years without it. Our last banquet was in December of 2019, before Covid ruined the last two. It’ll be at the Hotel Lafayette, and while the cost of the ticket is yet to be determined, it's the party of the century. There will be TONS of drinking and dancing and celebrating. There will be an open bar, dinner, lots and lots of dancing with your favorite TSL celebrities, and more! Prepare yourselves and keep that date open!
3. Speaking of other things, the TSL Winter Indoor League is making its return as well. And before you ask, NO they won’t be restricting rosters and anyone can play with anyone. There WILL be an “OPEN” division and a “REC” division so that D4-D6 teams can join without having to go against the D1 teams that will be filing into the OPEN division. The league will run from January to March again. More details coming soon.
4. Breakfast Club predictions, playoff edition:
1. BDSM 44, Messy Jessie’s 30
2. Special Kay’s 32, Jennacide 20
5. Best Games Of the Day:
   1. 10:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs 716
   2. 11:00 - DILFS vs Buffalo Vice Retro
   3. 12:00 - Scott Senior’s Starting vs Can’t Touch This
   4. 1:00 - Cobblestone vs Vaspian
   5. 2:00 - Tight Ends in Motion vs Frodo Swaggins
   6. 3:00 - Practice Squad vs Itches And Ohs
6. 3 teams that really need a win: Itches and Ohs, TMA, Cobblestone
7. 3 teams that are really good right now: Mountain Dew Me, Cunning Stunts, Not So Sticky
8. It’s still really sad to hear that Scott Senior hasn’t started a single game of football with the team that’s named after him starting football games.
9. Next week is the full on playoff write up, arguably my favorite one to write each year. If you have information about your team that I can use for it, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. asap.
10. Last but not least, I know many people feel slighted by their rankings in the “Top WRs” so perhaps we should have a skills competition for you to prove the committee wrong? Put your money where your mouth is.

 

 

The road to Social Co-Ed Football Glory is right in front of you all. Go out there and take it.

 

 

-GF OUT

Playoffs Predictions and Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 14 October 2022 11:46

Published: Friday, 14 October 2022 11:46

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 761

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, October 15th in the Year of Our Lord 2022, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality will finally begin! The regular season of the TSL Fall 2022 session was just a preview for the games that really matter. 46 of the TSL’s 50 teams are still alive for the chance at Co-Ed Football Glory. It was a long, interesting road to get to this point, as we had a lot of surprises (The Untouchaballs went 3-6? Frodo Swaggins beat Tight Ends?) along the way.

 

But, the slate is wiped clean. While poor offenses and defenses will more than likely stay that way, it’s the teams that hover in the middle that really make Playoff Saturday one of the best days of the sports calendar year. It’s been compared to March Madness opening weekend many times, and for good reason. The only thing we actually know about the TSL Playoffs is that there will be exciting games, and unexpected upsets that will cause MANY “WE PROVED YOU WRONG!” emails in my inbox around 4pm Saturday once the alcohol starts flowing. I look forward to them every season.

 

And once you add into the fact that the Fall session tends to give the playoffs some extra “weather” induced fun, you begin to realize that nobody is safe this weekend, unless you had a bye week. According to the local Iowa weather stations, Buffalo is looking at a 60 degree day on Saturday (nice!), but with winds from 20-25 miles per hour (not nice!). It shouldn’t be raining though (nice!), but it appears it’s going to rain in the days leading up to Saturday (not nice, maybe). The point is, bring your cleats, shorts, winter gear, a raincoat, sunscreen, an umbrella and/or TSL approved sideline tent, and just be prepared for anything. It’s why you play the games.

 

Speaking of the games, while 46 teams are still alive, only 40 of these teams will be playing this weekend. We have a mostly “Terrific Twenty” games for you to enjoy, but before we really dig into the teams that are playing this week, let’s take a moment to remember those that we’ve lost much too soon.

 

 

IN MEMORIAM:

 

TOX (1-8, 10th in D4) PF: 17.33 (10th), PA: 39.89 (10th), TSL Ranking: 48th, Future Projection: D5

 

I don’t love having to write about TOX every single season in this space, but the team themselves are a little hamstrung. They SHOULD be playing in D5, but then it would create conflicts with a decent chunk of their team and they just end up stuck. They have a collection of some of the best people in the TSL: Dave Walter, Leslie Cook, and perennial “How does Topper overthrow that guy?” award winner Aaron Balcerzak are just a few of the great players on this roster. Unfortunately, they just couldn’t put it all together. I hope this team comes back in some shape or form, and we get them to a spot where they can start winning some games. Imagine the party at the bar after a TOX championship. Stomach pumps for everyone! We’ll get there someday, it’s just not today.

 

 

Cobblestone (2-7 in D4) PF: 25.67 (8th), PA: 34.67 (7th), TSL Ranking: 46th, Future Projection: D4

 

To make matters even worse for the playoffs, Darryl Carr, QB Superstar is also on the outside looking in. After a season in which Cobblestone had some really good luck with players showing up and performing, this season was the opposite, as roster struggles really did Darryl in. When the team is all at the field, they’re a force to be reckoned with, but the inconsistency really showed, and despite winning last week to put the pressure on other teams to win to get in, they didn’t get the help they needed. We’ll see Darryl in the Spring, and he’ll be better than ever. I know it.

 

 

And that wraps it up for the In Memoriam section. Yes, only two teams were lost in the Race to the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, which is the benefit of having more evenly divided divisions. But enough about who we’ve lost, let’s talk about who’s here. Remember, in the coming predictions, the “Points For” and “Points Against” rankings are from their division, not the whole league, while the “TSL Ranking’, which is formulated by Topper’s Super Secret Standings program is the overall ranking in the league.

 

 

Enough talk, let’s get to it.

 

 

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Legends (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Sticky Bandits (6-1)

Scared Hitless (20-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (20-1)

Passed Our Prime (50-1)

 

Teams On Bye: #1 Legends (8-1)

 

The Story: The Legends and Tight Ends In Motion stand out as the cream of the crop in the division, more than likely on a collision course for the D1 title. Eyes Downtown and Sticky aren’t too far behind, and both are capable of pulling off the upset if one of the top seeds get caught looking ahead to the championship game. While it was nice to get to 7 teams in D1 this season, we were basically at 4 again as the new editions of Scared Hitless, Grey Hair Don’t Care, and Passed Our Prime really took their lumps and growing pains this year.

 

 

#2 Tight Ends In Motion (7-2) vs #7 Scared Hitless (2-6-1)

 

Points For: TEIM 38.11 (1st), SH 30.78 (5th)

Points Against: TEIM 20.56 (1st), SH 37.78 (6th)

TSL Ranking: TEIM 7th, SH 43rd

Past Games: TEIM 44 - SH 14

Line: Tight Ends In Motion (-20)

 

 

Tight Ends In Motion started out 7-0 and they were the toast of the town, but they absolutely crumbled down the stretch. Losing to the Legends is one thing, but getting beaten by Frodo in a D1/D2 Crossover game is another. Perhaps they just can’t beat Sean? Despite the last two weeks, TEIM still boasts the best overall offense and defense in D1, that’s gotta mean something. QB Bro has been very good all year, consistently in the “Top QB” conversation. When you have weapons like Derek Bongiovanni, Kyle Conniff, and Katie Salisbury, that makes things a lot easier too. It wasn’t the dream scenario Scared Hitless drew up. Jonny Football can’t be happy with a 2-6-1 record, but this team still trots out stud girls in Melanie Linsmair, Jaimie Warren, Carly DeWeese (perennially underrated as she’s stuck in the shadows of the other two), and you even get a Cat Peters sighting now and again. Dylan Day has the weapons, it’s just on him to figure out how. He’s done so in D3 and D2, so D1 is next. It’s just not this year. This is why you avoid adding Mike Rawdin to your team. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 17

 

#3 Sticky Bandits (5-3-1) vs #6 Grey Hair Don’t Care (2-5-2)

 

Points For: SB 34.22 (4th), GHDC 28.89 (6th)

Points Against: SB 27.89 (3rd), GHDC 37.44 (5th)

TSL Ranking: SB 15th, GHDC 41st

Past Games: SB 48 - GHDC 32, SB 31 - GHDC 31

Line: Sticky Bandits (-8)

 

The Sticky Bandits proceed to make the title game last year, and everyone just forgets about them. Perhaps, for this season anyway, rightfully so. A slow start led them to a weird 5-3-1 record, but when you consider the losses were to the other top teams in the division, you realize maybe they’re a lot closer than you realize. QB Mike Thomas has proven by now that he’s one of the top QBs in the league, and with weapons like Adrian Cannon and the ageless Kevin Zack, the Sticky offense can make things happen. Let’s not forget they trot out Laura Streeter as well, and they have “much better than you think they are” girls in Christine Krol and Nicole Sharick. Grey Hair made the jump up to D1 and while 2-5-2 looks bad, it really means they were two plays away from being 4-5 which would’ve been huge (and we’ll ignore that they were two plays away from 2-7 completely). Dave Eickhoff has got his offense down, and they’ve made some adjustments as the season went on. When you have a team that can trot out Nick and Kayla Voss, George Lombardo, and “probably should be in the conversation for best female in the league, why aren’t you paying attention Rankings Committee?” Amber Hay, you’re going to be pretty good. This was a great season to build on, and they’re going to give Sticky a game for sure. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

#4 Eyes Downtown (5-4) vs #5 Passed Our Prime (3-6)

 

Points For: ED 36.67 (3rd), POP 25.75 (7th)

Points Against: ED 24.67 (2nd), POP 38.38 (7th)

TSL Ranking: ED 17th, POP 40th

Past Games: ED 52 - POP 17

Line: Eyes Downtown (-14)

 

Eyes Downtown had themselves a year this time around, reminding everyone in the league that they’re not dead yet. Bobby McConnell (when he’s not skipping games to play flag football) continues to be a top QB after all these years, and the play of Eric Delecki and Ben Stack among the others have been why you see ED competing again. Rachel Grampp and Emily Belfield are great talents as well, but the return of Margo (no last name needed, you just know) can always swing a game, whether she’s scoring touchdowns or stabbing someone. POP is somehow 3-6 and somehow a 5th seed when they trot out the worst offense and defense in the division. I have no idea how Hogan does it. Brandy Clarke, Amy Taylor, and Elena Schratz form a pretty damn good core of females nobody in the league is talking about. And when Ralph Finney, Keyon Elias, AD, and Bryan Munro are all actually at the fields at once? This team is pretty damn good. The problem of course, is getting them all there. They have all the talent in the world at wide receiver. We just need to get them a quarterback. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

 

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Frodo Swaggins (3-1)

No Punt Intended (4-1)

The Untouchaballs (6-1)

DILFs (10-1)

Freeballers (12-1)

Buffalo Vice Retro (40-1)

The Replacements (Infinity-1)

 

Teams On Bye:  #1 Frodo Swaggins (8-1)

 

The Story:  D2 becomes “D1 lite” as most of the top teams should be up a division. Frodo Swaggins had a banner year, ending with an upset over TEIM in the crossover gamel. No Punt Intended is right behind them though, as they look to battle Frodo with a full squad for once. The Untouchaballs had a rough season with forfeits and close losses, but they’re a lot better than people are remembering. Same for the DILFs, who haven’t even had Dubey for most of the year. The Freeballers have an outside shot at making some noise. Buffalo Vice Retro can sneak up on you if you take them lightly. The Replacements can not.

 

 

#2 No Punt Intended (7-2) vs #7 The Replacements (0-9)

 

Points For: NPI 37.13 (1st), TR 10.75 (7th)

Points Against: NPI 29.00 (3rd), TR 48.00 (7th)

TSL Ranking: NPI 10th, TR 50th

Past Games: NPI 44 - TR 22

Line: No Punt Intended (-30)

 

 

Minus 30 is probably not enough, and if NPI didn’t have just about everyone on the team who had another game, they’d be able to hit it. No Punt Intended burst onto the scene at the last second, and they’re not the NPI you remember from D4. QB Kyle has a lot more wrinkles than he once did, but with that age comes wisdom, and he’s been excellent at QB. Of course, having Amber and Jaimie as your top females could even make Topper look good. But that’s where Kyle has some new entries in the league that have taken off. Shbend Betsa has been a hell of a find, and 8 foot 4 inch monster (so i’ve been told) Carlton Coatsworth is a force to be reckoned with, and even if he isn’t, he’s just bigger than you so it doesn’t matter. NPI is kicking ass with some new TSL names, which makes it even better. The Replacements registered as a football team for some reason. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 50

 

I’m kidding, sort of. The Replacements are led by Shawn Adamski who did the right thing and started up a new team. Sadly, he just chose the wrong division to start in. They’re not the first team to start way too high and get killed. Hell, they’re not even the first “The Replacements” in the league. I can’t really give too many props for this season, but I hope they come back in a much ‘safer’ division so they can have some fun. (D5, guys, start there) NO PUNT INTENDED BY 20.

 

 

#3 Freeballers (4-5) vs #6 Buffalo Vice Retro (3-6)

 

Points For: FB 31.50 (5th), BVR 19.11 (6th)

Points Against: FB 30.25 (4th), BVR 31.22 (5th)

TSL Ranking: FB 24th, BVR 35th

Past Games: BVR 20 - FB 13

Line: Freeballers (-6)

 

 

Let’s start with the obvious: D2 is a mess. The Freeballers are the 3rd seed at 4-5. Basically, anyone from the 3-6 seeds can beat each other on any given Saturday. Look no further than two weeks ago when BVR beat the Freeballers 20 - 13. That was a big win for BVR to get them “on track” but it also made the Freeballers know not to take them for granted. The Freeballers have had great seasons from Dylan Jaloza, Jared Inthavong, and league sweetheart/viper Talia Calabro. The talent is there to compete, but I don’t think, even with Dave Baker to help settle things down and give his 1,585,295 games worth of wisdom, that they’re on the level for a title. BVR trots out Seth at QB to go along with Caitlyn Mason and Rachel Parker, but after that, there isn’t a stand out male player that can win them a game single handedly. But, that’s the point. The males are deep (phrasing) across the board, and that makes it hard for teams to know who’s going to beat them. The Freeballers usually play better with a chip on their shoulder, so I’ll tell them they suck now, and because of that: FREEBALLERS BY 10. You’re welcome.

 

#4 DILFs (4-5) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-6)

 

Points For: DILFs 35.11 (3rd), UT 34.71 (4th)

Points Against: DILFs 35.33 (6th), UT 27.00 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: DILFs 29th, UT 32nd

Past Games: DILFs 48 - UT 46

Line: EVEN

 

If this game isn’t the best game on the schedule this weekend, it has to be in everyone’s Top 3. These two teams played a crazy game earlier in the season that saw the DILFs win on a Hail Mary with no time left. These two teams have talent all over the place, and you can’t let the records fool you. DILFs have future TSL Hall of Famer Brandt Dubey at QB, unless he doesn’t show up. Then they have Travis Cleavanger-Bernal running around back there instead. They have 742 years of experience with Eric Stegmeier and Rogo out there. They have the 3Ks of Katie, Kelly, and Kellie making plays all over the field. They’re the definition of a “veteran” team who knows how to beat you. The Untouchaballs, have Jeremy F’N Burr. He doesn’t do it alone though. Everyone knows about Mel Linsmair, but they forget about Joelle and Meg. Matt Helm has gotten some pub in the past, but people don’t know about Ryan Dombrowski. Add in Jamie McCabe and Handsome Greg and you’ve got yourselves a stud team. This game is going to rock, mild upset alert. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 7

 

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Mountain Dew Me (5-1)

Bullet Club (5-1)

716 (7.16-1)

Scott Senior’s Starting (8-1)

Can’t Touch This (10-1)

Get Schwifty (12-1)

Itches and Ohs (14-1)

Practice Squad (17-1)

 

Teams On Bye: No Bye Weeks are awarded in D3

 

The Story: The TSL’s most wide open division, as you wouldn’t be surprised if any of these teams walked away with the championship. Mountain Dew Me and Bullet Club come in as “co-favorites” based on their equal record and the fact that they played a game that came down to the wire. 716 is a step behind, as they’ve lost close games to both MDM and BC, but they always have seemed to be missing key personnel. SSS can compete with any of the above teams, but they’re in the middle of the usual slow finish after a hot start. The backend of the division is very “wild west-y” as all four teams have beaten up on each other but also can steal a win from the “top” half. Anyone can win this division.

 

 

#1 Mountain Dew Me (7-2) vs #8 Practice Squad (2-6-1)

 

Points For: MDM 29.11 (4th), PS 28.89 (5th)

Points Against: MDM 24.33 (3rd), PS 33.56 (7th)

TSL Ranking: MDM 6th, PS 42nd

Past Games: PS 28 - MDM 18, MDM 33 - PS 32

Line: MDM (-6)

 

 

A rivalry renewed yet again. Practice Squad has had their worst season in a long time, most of that is simply due to not knowing how to play against D3 teams, and learning about it. But that isn’t the case with MDM. These longtime rivals meet up yet again in a playoff game that will only further things for them. Practice Squad’s biggest loss since B became the full time QB was a D5 Overtime Championship loss to MDM. He’s thought about that for a few seasons now, and it drives him every time these teams meet. You don’t think getting a chance to be an 8 seed upsetting a 1 seed isn’t going to have him hyper focused? PS still has tons of talent with Renee Lantz and Kelly Liddle alongside Jamie McCabe, Ashtin Fiegel, three different Kyles, and Kenny Lantz too. This team can do some damage, and they have the speed to keep up with the speedy MDM players. The 3,402 McGregors combine with a couple of Mertzes to put together a solid, smart, and very, very fast squad that are tough to beat. But Practice Squad has done it before. It’s upset time. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 1.

 

#2 Bullet Club (7-2) vs #7 Get Schwifty (3-6)

 

Points For: BC 31.38 (3rd), GS 23.38 (8th)

Points Against: BC 23.13 (1st), GS 23.63 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: BC 9th, GS 37th

Past Games: BC 30 - GS 21, BC 21 - GS 0 (forfeit)

Line: Bullet Club (-7)

 

Bullet Club moved down to D3 and had a team revival of sorts, leading D3 for most of the year and only finishing 2nd based off a 1 point loss to Mountain Dew Me during the year. QB Jeff Easton looks like he did many years ago, and his weapons have been arguably better than ever. Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes provides a spark to this offense, as did long time Frodo player Nick Buczek. John Langley looks good as a wide receiver, Anthony Deak didn’t get hurt somehow, and the answer to the “Would Pete Wallbrandt be any good outside of D6?” question is a resounding yes. They boast above average girls across the board, and they’re going to be a tough out for anyone in these playoffs. Get Schwifty has been a bit all over the place this season, as Blase LaDuca got some of his family members together to start a new franchise. QB Larry has a super strong arm, and they have some height on the team too. Long time TSL veteran Dorene Major leads a solid group of females into battle here. These two teams are the top ranked defenses in the league, but at the end of the day BC should outscore Schwifty. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

#3 716 (5-4) vs #6 Itches and Ohs (3-5-1)

 

Points For: 716 32.00 (2nd), Ohs 24.00 (7th)

Points Against: 716 28.89 (4th), Ohs 29.89 (5th)

TSL Rankings: 716 18th, Ohs 31st

Past Games: 716 35 - Ohs 9, 716 42 - Ohs 19

Line: 716 (-10)

 

Sometimes teams just have the other’s number, and that’s what we’ve got here. 716 has blown Itches out of the water twice now, mostly on the arm strength of Derek Pew. But when he’s got Nick Voss and Donte Ridgeway making some plays for him, it's easy to look good. Add in Eric Pochylski and James Celotto, and you have yourself a very good squad. 716 lacks a bit of talent on the female end of things though, and this has proven to be their downfall time and time again. It’s not that they’re bad at all, don’t get me wrong, they’re just usually at a disadvantage from the team across from them. Case in point, the deadly trio of Laura Streeter, Rylee Moser, and Lauren Moser on Itches and Ohs. It just hasn’t been the best of times for Itches this season, but it's impossible to fully count them out. They’re still one of the smartest teams on the field, it's just been an execution problem. I think a lack of overall team speed does them in, since 716 has the ability to turn this game into a track meet. 716 by 12

 

#4 Scott Seniors Starting (4-5) vs #5 Can’t Touch This (4-5)

 

Points For: SSS 35.33 (1st), CTT 28.00 (6th)

Points Against: SSS 33.33 (6th), CTT 34.44 (8th)

TSL Ranking: SSS 25th, CTT 27th

Past Games: SSS 42 - CTT 35, CTT 46 - SSS 44

Line: SSS (-6)

 

 

These two teams met last weekend, and Can’t Touch This turned in their best performance of the year, taking the victory by 2 points, and avenging a Week 1 loss to SSS. SSS hasn’t looked good for the second part of the year, despite trotting out 5 Kellers (6 if we count Stegs now) on the roster. Scotty Dro has been hit and miss all season as well, which only adds to the issues. Damien Keller gets a special shout out for his play this season, all reports suggest he has a bright TSL future ahead of him. By now, you know what the deal is with CTT. Ryan Dougherty has the strong arm, they have solid girls who can win them the game (as proven last season), and the supporting cast of gentlemen (led by Anthony Battaglia and Cool Beard Guy) aren’t slouches either. CTT feels ready to make some noise yet again, and SSS feels a bit off. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 3

 

 

D4:

 

Odds to Win The Championship:

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Puckett All-Stars (4-1)

Zack Attack (6-1)

Buffalo Vice (9-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (10-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (12-1)

Vaspian (15-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (20-1)

 

Teams On Bye: None

 

The Story: The Stunts ran roughshod over the division all season, but so did Puckett. Zack Attack found some much needed offense this season, as did Buffalo Vice. Spinelli’s can still score, but they struggle to stop anyone. Vaspian has just been “okay” all season, but their defense is still top notch. ILF hasn’t been really good since Joe Miano got hurt. And Travis Henry’s Kids upset the Stunts to make the playoffs, which has to bode well for them.

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (8-1) vs #8 Travis Henry’s Kids (3-6)

 

Points For: CS 50.13 (1st), THK 28.44 (6th)

Points Against: CS 37.00 (9th), THK 32.44 (6th)

TSL Ranking: CS 1st, THK 38th

Past Games: THK 56 - CS 40

Line: CS (-8)

 

THK isn’t a normal 8 seed for the ladies this week. They were two one point losses away from a 5-4 record that would’ve put them into 3rd place instead (they would’ve had the tie breaker with Zack Attack). John Langley played a psuedo-playoff game last week, and he delivered. Is this a changing of fortunes? Perhaps. John also throws to Pete Wallbrandt and Anthony Deak, which really helps things too. Alex Corbelli allegedly, isn’t anything to shake a stick at either. Where things get tough for THK is on the female side of the ball, as Katie Garey and whichever other girls show up are decent, but to ask them to match up against the Stunts just isn’t fair. Joey Batts has his ladies team demolishing D4, and a promotion to D3 whether they like it or not is coming their way. You know the names here: Taylor Pagano, Kelly Liddle, Renee Lantz, Jill Battaglia, Jen Mertz, Brandy Clarke, etc. They’ve done this forever, and the Stunts are a who’s who for women in the league. The other thing they’ve done forever? Finish first and blow it in the playoffs. THK will give them a game, but the loss last week has them more focused than ever. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

#2 Puckett All-Stars (8-1) vs #7 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (4-5)

 

Points For: PAS 42.89 (2nd), ILF 26.67 (7th)

Points Against: PAS 29.56 (3rd), ILF 31.67 (5th)

TSL Ranking: PAS 3rd, ILF 30th

Past Games: PAS 50 - ILF 35

Line: Puckett All-Stars (-9)

 

Puckett All-Stars are F’n Amazing. They are the best team in the TSL that nobody is talking about. After a close, Week 1 loss to the Stunts, Puckett has had their sights set on revenge against the Stunts, and right now they’d theoretically get it in the title game. How perfect. These aren’t quite your same old All-Stars I hear. Vince Taverna, the stud QB from Quinn, has taken over, and as a result Puckett has been beyond good. In fact *checks roster*Mike Gelz, Lauren Gelz, Joe Schwab. . . this is basically All We Do Is Quinn. Okay, it isn’t that serious, and a lot of the players on PAS have been there for a millenia (Hey Ashley!). Elisha Reimers has been good at football for years and the league still hasn’t taken notice. And I’m sure there are even some more additions that are killing it for them. Meanwhile, ILF is cooked, maybe. A QB injury derails a season like nothing else. Andrew Kicak does his best to keep it together, and even in the face of adversity you’re getting quality play out Jason Neth, Brett Feind, Alex Baker, and Karl Smith. Christina Nelson is a very good player, and you’re seeing some growth out of Becca Dominesey as well. This is a bad team by any stretch, it’s just not their year. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 13

 

#3 Zack Attack (6-3) vs #6 Vaspian (4-5)

 

Points For: ZA 33.67 (5th), Vaspian 21.00 (9th)

Points Against: ZA 22.33 (1st), Vaspian 25.13 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: ZA 12th, Vaspian 26th

Past Games: ZA 51 - Vaspian 22

Line: Zack Attack (-10)

 

D4’s top two defenses meet each other in this first round matchup. Zack Attack has spent years having a great defense but scoring points was always a challenge. Not anymore. Zack Attack added Sam and Anthony “Sam’s Husband” Lattuca to the mix, alongside Glenn Bird, ZA has looked really good. Zack Elphick has made strides as a QB, and his brother Jay continues to be a fantastic player. Add in a bunch of solid, but terrible dart playing females in Jenna and Kayla and you have yourself a team that could make some noise in the playoffs. Vaspian hasn’t had a great season on offense. Defense is still the name of the game here, but with too many missed games at QB, the offense hasn’t really settled in. Add into the fact that they’ve replaced essentially every girl from the “normal” Vaspian team and it's going to take some time to gel.

 

#4 Buffalo Vice (4-4-1) vs #5 Spinelli’s Plumbing (4-4-1)

 

Points For: Vice 35.89 (4th), SP 39.33 (3rd)

Points Against: Vice 31.11 (4th), SP 36.22 (8th)

TSL Ranking: Vice 20th, SP 21st

Past Games: Vice 54 - SP 54 (Tie)

Line: EVEN

 

In Week 1 of the season, these two teams played to a 54-54 tie. Since then, both teams have gone 4-4 and quite frankly not much separates these two teams. Vice scores slightly less, but they allow slightly less. Dan Gonzalez’s team has benefitted from Andy Clark playing Prodigal son and coming home. Adding that arm allows Frank Pizza to do his thing at WR when he can, and we all should know about Caitlyn Mason by now. Amy Denning has been good for a long time as well. This team can play. Spinelli’s got really, really hot the last few seasons, and they’re continuing that streak. But they have to learn how to stop someone and get away from the “Best defense is a good offense” mentality. Nick Hawes is probably the TSL’s yardage leader for the last three years, as he gets to throw to Ryan Rusin, Zack Estes, and yes, even Payton Spinelli. Katie Swanson is a name we’ve known for a decade, but don’t forget about what Kaely Kwitek, Chelsea Lepore, and Audrey Enzian can do out there. These ladies are all criminally underrated despite being a part of one of the TSL’s best offenses for a while. This one should be a shootout. Again. BUFFALO VICE BY 1

 

D5:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

TMA (2-1)

Come From Behind (4-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (7-1)

Woodpeckers (10-1)

Today’s Feast (15-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (20-1)

 

Teams On Bye: #1 TMA, #2 Come From Behind

 

The Story: TMA dominated the entire regular season before a surprising hiccup at the end of the year to go 7-2. Come From Behind played incredibly well, only losing to TMA and PWI. PWI kind of looked lost for the first part of the season, but they’re locked in now, beating TMA and CFB in recent weeks, and giving D5 a legitimate third contender. The Woodpeckers also rebounded from a weak start to go to 4-4-1 on the season, and they’re right in the same spot they were last year before they won the title. Today’s Feast has a lot to be proud about in terms of improvement from years past. Let’s Get Reccked was a brand new squad that needed some to gel (and heal!) together.

 

#3 Passing While Intoxicated (4-4-1) vs #6 Let’s Get Reccked (2-7)

 

Points For: PWI 25.89 (3rd), LGR 19.67 (6th)

Points Against: PWI 24.89 (2nd), LGR 29.00 (5th)

TSL Ranking: PWI 22nd, LGR 47th
Past Games: PWI 30 - LGR 19

Line: Passing While Intoxicated (-8)

 

Passing While Intoxicated has their team on the same page and two straight wins over the teams on bye to show for it. I’m not sure who the QB is for PWI, as I thought it was Colorado Mike, but I believe we’re back to Alex Lee behind center. PWI trots out Ryan Dombrowski, A pair of Szumigalas, and Alex Dutkiewicz to go along with a handful of females who can beat you in different ways. Let’s Get Reccked was Ricky Recckio’s brainchild, and he’s got some pretty cool people on the roster. Jon Dean has been a winner on and off the field, and their QB’s name is Denver Macintosh, which might be the coolest name in the league. He also wears Bills Zubaz I’m told, so just hand him the MVP. Talia Calabro, Kayla Deth, Doreen Major, Becca Dominesey, and Carly Reeb round out a fantastic group of TSL ladies, so it's amazing that LGR didn’t win more. At the very least, they silly stringed Ricky on the field. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 11

 

#4 Woodpeckers (4-4-1) vs #5 Today’s Feast (3-6)

 

Points For: WP 22.22 (5th), TF 24.44 (4th)

Points Against: WP 27.33 (4th), TF 30.89 (6th)

TSL Ranking: WP 23rd, TF 39th

Past Games: TF 51 - WP 22, WP 45 - TF 8

Line: Woodpeckers (-2)

 

The Woodpeckers started off rough, as they struggled through some roster issues and getting their team to the fields. But once they started showing up? Whew boy it’s been a different team. Joe B’s team has been very competitive and he’s starting to look like the QB that captured D6 last year. Mark B is right there playing some of his best football as well. Ryan Hawkins, Jake Lewis, and William Su have more than made up for the missing Wrestler Dan Farinacci, who has apparently determined he’s too good for the TSL this season. You may not know the names Melissa Houghton, Rachel Szafarczyk, and Nina Komoninski, but you’re about to. These ladies have been fantastic all season, and they’re a big reason the Peckers upset TMA this year. Today’s Feast spent most of their careers being feasted upon. The move to D5 was smart, as they’re starting to figure out their offense a bit more, but right now, that defense is straight up yuck. Chuck Jackson has put together a decent team that will only get better, and they have a person named Simba on the team. Yes, like the Lion King. Look out Denver, we have a new coolest name already. Anyway, I don't know much else about this team, but they can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to tell me who’s rocking for this team. But, until then, WOODPECKERS BY 8

 

D6:

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Not So Sticky (3-1)

Blitzkrieg (3-1)

Superior Moser Squad (7-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (12-1)

Two Tuddies (15-1)

Punt Cakes (18-1)

 

Teams On Bye: #1 Not So Sticky, #2 Blitzkrieg

 

The Story: Not So Sticky moved down to D6 and they’ve pretty much dominated the division, winning it pretty easily. They’re more than likely going back up to D5 in the spring, win or lose. Blitzkrieg, same thing. These two teams were far and above the top two and it wasn’t even close. The rest of the teams just beat up on each other. Superior Moser Squad used a female QB the entire season, which was pretty cool, though there’s a nice debate about which one was the better QB (hint: it's Lauren). Lenny’s Ladies had their usual up and down season. Punt Cakes sometimes look like world beaters, and other times they look clueless. And the Tud Buds won two games last weekend to go to 3-6 which is pretty awesome, as they slowly, but consistently, improve.

 

#3 Superior Moser Squad (5-4) vs #6 Punt Cakes (2-7)

 

Points For: SMS 30.00 (4th), PC 31.13 (3rd)

Points Against: SMS 28.11 (3rd), PC 31.63 (5th)

TSL Ranking: SMS 19th, PC 45th

Past Games: SMS 33 - PC 25, SMS 60 - PC 22

Line: Superior Moser Squad (-7)

 

Superior Moser Squad tried something new and unique this season and it had some mixed results. A rotating female QB led to some really exciting games, but also a couple of blowout losses. Now, SMS is obviously led by Rylee Moser, with help from Lauren Moser as well. Steve Moser showed he could be a pretty good WR too if he wanted. The return of Jeremy Streit is going to prove game changing for these guys as well. Punt Cakes hasn’t had the best of years. We’ll ignore some roster trickery, but Baby Gronk put together a pretty fast team, but one that still needs to learn the ins and outs of the game. This is another team that I’d love for someone to email me about so I can learn who the rocker players are, because honestly? I don’t know. And neither does anyone else. Yet. But for now, 60-22 seems excessive, but it seems the direction we’re heading with this one. SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 13

 

#4 Two Tuddies (3-6) vs #5 Lenny’s Ladies (3-6)

 

Points For: TT 23.33 (5th), LL 18.11 (6th)

Points Against: TT 28.78 (4th), LL 35.44 (6th)

TSL Ranking: TT 33rd, LL 34th

Past Games: LL 20 - TT 12, TT 27 - LL 8

Line: TT (-1)

 

The Two Tuddies finally saw some of the fruits of their labor come to life as they went 2-0 last week. It’s one thing to beat the Ladies here, but it's an entire other thing to beat Blitzkrieg too. It seems that the Tud Buds are finally starting to learn how to play this game, and it’s coming at the right time. Ryan Miller has put together a good group of people, and Tim Arnold, Chris Wollcot, Kory Reid, and Christian Ferger can play and adapt. They’re still figuring out the girl end of things, but getting Sarah Palazza as a #1 is a good start. The rest of the ladies are still, like the team, figuring it out, but consistently improving. As for the Ladies, it was another season of roster turnover as has become custom for them. But once again, they lucked out. Besides Lenny’s Ladies OG Katie Swanson, Maddie Norton is an absolute gem, they get the First Lady of the TSL in Val Bernal, newcomers Hannah Rausch and Coleen Kaminski have been very good for first timers, and Kelsey Harrigan has been quite a find as well. As always, the talent is there, the key for the girls is learning how to play defensive positions they may not be used to. They’re going to be a tough out if everything clicks right. LENNY’S LADIES BY 2

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 1. What top seed is most likely to lose early? Well, I picked Mountain Dew Me to lose to Practice Squad early, but I’d still pick them only because they play in the league’s closest division.

 2. Who are your top Dark Horses, overall and in each division? My biggest “Dark Horse” is the Untouchaballs because I think they can play with the teams above them. Other than them, the lower seeded teams to watch out for: D1: Grey Hair Don’t Care, D3: Can’t Touch This, D4: Buffalo Vice, D5: Passing While Intoxicated, D6: Superior Moser Squad

 3. Okay, Predict the champions. Fine. D1: Tight Ends In Motion, D2: No Punt Intended, D3: 716, D4: Puckett All-Stars, D5: TMA, D6: Blitzkrieg

 4. Not a lot of chalk there, how come? I think some of the teams are #1 seeds, so that’s chalk-ish to me. I went with Tight Ends based on how good they’ve been, and I can’t say that two losses by a combined 7 points means it’s all over. NPI can very easily lose to Frodo, but Garrett at QB in a big game has proven worrisome in the past. 716 has the pieces to put it all together in D3. Puckett is looking for revenge in D4, and the Stunts always blow it. The game, for the record. TMA has been too good to not win (D4 regardless in the spring?) D5. And I went with Blitzkrieg just because I love believing in them, and it's their time.

 5. If you could only watch one game on Saturday, which one would it be? That’s a hard question. There are some really good matchups here. I almost went with Buffalo Vice vs Spinelli’s Plumbing, but the answer really is DILFs vs The Untouchaballs. That’s going to be awesome.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 1. It's the playoffs. I know that tensions are going to run high during the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality, so it's your usual reminder to KEEP YOUR COOL. Don’t freak out on the refs, on your own teammates, on that squirrel running by, or the other team. Keep it together or you WILL be tossed. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

 2. Breakfast Club Predictions:

1. Amber Alert 42, Jennacide 27
2. Steph Infection 38, BDSM 35

 3. The best games of the hour:

1. 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care
2. 11:00 - Dilfs vs The Untouchaballs
3. 12:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Practice Squad
4. 1:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Spinelli’s Plumbing
5. 2:00 - Woodpeckers vs Today’s Feast

 4. Three teams that have the best chance for an upset that I didn’t pick earlier: Vaspian, Get Schwifty, Buffalo Vice Retro

 5. Three teams that are saddled with “Playoff John Langley” at QB this weekend: Travis Henry’s Kids, Bullet Club, Lenny’s Ladies. Talk about mortgaging the future. (My guess: John goes 2-1)

 6. Most shocking upset that probably won’t happen, but it wouldn’t seem THAT implausible: Scared Hitless ending Tight Ends In Motion’s D1 hopes.

 7. Pick your best bets over 10-1 odds: Grey Hair Don’t Care, Freeballers, Practice Squad, Travis Henry’s Kids, Woodpeckers, Punt Cakes. (I can’t actually bet Replacements at Infinity-1 because how does that work?)

 8. Remember to talk to Emily Schilling about your participation in the Halloween Bowl! Its 11:00am on October 29th. There will be specials and everything!

 9. Write down December 9th as the day of the banquet! More details will be coming shortly, I promise you.

 10. I think if everyone asks Topper really nicely tonight and bombards him with messages, we might actually get him to come to the fields. But it only works if EVERYONE takes a second to message him. So get to it. It’ll be worth it.

 

That’s it! The Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on! Good luck!

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 September 2022 12:31

Published: Friday, 30 September 2022 12:31

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1387

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the second half of the Fall 2022 season is in full swing, and all we’ve learned so far is that we know next to nothing. Week 6 has come and gone in our illustrious history and it taught us that this season is far from being understood. What kind of things did we learn you ask? Let me tell you.

 

For starters, the teams that ran the show have already lost their mystique. Frodo Swaggins (D2), Bullet Club (D3), and TMA (D5) all blew their perfect records and lost this week for the first time. Frodo and Bullet Club lost to the teams in 2nd place in their division, but TMA got run over by the Woodpeckers, who are once again peaking at the right time this session. Their whole team showed up, and they handled business. All of a sudden, D5 isn’t a “slam dunk” anymore.

 

Travis Henry’s Kids isn’t washed like we thought they might be. You can only question a team that loses by slim margins for so long before you realize that maybe they’re just not that good. They completely dispatched both orange teams in D4 pretty easily, by a combined score of 77-27 and got right out of 10th place and into the playoffs.

 

Zack Attack’s offense was a thing of beauty, until reality set in last weekend. ZA didn’t score a single point, which makes you wonder just how much of a fluke the first half of the season was.

 

And those are just a handful of the “surprises” we got this week. Of course, not everything was a shocker. Tight Ends In Motion have reclaimed the throne of “Best Team In The League” and they’re just holding onto that. Blitzkrieg and Not So Sticky are on a collision course for the D6 title. Come From Behind is still using all of their 10,352 games of experience to lay the smack down on their opponents. Spinelli’s Plumbing can put up 60 points easier than any other team in the league. Practice Squad has “maxed out” in D3 it seems.

 

            Every team has played at least 6 games. At this point, we can really see who’s shaping up to have quite a playoff run and who’s stumbling down the stretch. We’re getting into the TSL Ladder Match weeks for some of our divisions, and we have even more playoff implications going on this week. Let’s get into it.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

Tight Ends In Motion 44, Scared Hitless 14

Eyes Downtown 52, Passed Our Prime 17

Sticky Bandits 49, The Replacements 14 (D1/D2 Crossover)

 

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Tight Ends In Motion and Eyes Downtown dominated their opponents. We’re a Public Enemy win away from me just being able to copy paste a 2019 article here. Not a close game was played this week, as Sticky also dominated The Replacements in the crossover game.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Legends (+7) - It’s weird giving the Legends a touchdown, but after TEIM put them in their place last time, I don’t see a world where they aren’t the underdogs. The Legends had a great time throwing a fun party when their parents were gone, but unfortunately for them, daddy’s home. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - After a rough start, Bobby found his magic bandana and times are good in ED land yet again. They’re on a 4 game winning streak, and the only losses they’ve had are to the teams above them in the standings, and oh goodness that defense is sexy. Sticky, meanwhile, has been the definition of average. 3-3 record, 197 PF, and 190 PA. It’s not where Sticky Nation wants to be, but right now they seem to be on an island in D1: just behind the Top 3, but firmly ahead of the Bottom 3. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 15

 

Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - The one thing both of these teams have going for them this year is that onlookers tend to say “well, it could be worse, they could be Passed Our Prime”. There were always going to be the inevitable growing pains moving to D1 and I hope these teams realize that and don’t “give up” in the Spring. Both are 2-5, and both have given up 274 and 273 respectively. The only difference is that Scared Hitless’s offense is a tick better. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

D1/D2 Crossover Game:

 

Passed Our Prime vs The Replacements (+20) - The TSL Football Gods are cruel. It’s bad enough that The Replacements are bleeding all over the place in shark infested waters in D2, but they’re ALSO the team that gets TWO crossover games? The only bonus from this is that it's only POP they’re playing. Passed Our Prime is a solid team, but to compete in D1 they need that ONE player that really pushes them over the top. Hogan needs to call his friends in the offseason to see who he can get for the Spring. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 12

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 29, Buffalo Vice Retro 0

No Punt Intended 38, Frodo Swaggins 12

No Punt Intended 21, The Untouchaballs 0 (Forfeit)

 

The Untouchaballs were too scared to play No Punt Intended this week, and for good reason. NPI walloped Frodo Swaggins to stake their claim as D2’s top team last week. Frodo, meanwhile, also made easy work of BV Retro as well.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) - So let’s do this dance again. The winner of this game has the inside track for the D2 bye week, and the loser of this game has the inside track to the other D2 bye week, which is playing The Replacements. Perhaps last week was a fluke, and Frodo underestimated NPI? We’ll see this week. I don’t think it was though. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 12

 

The Untouchaballs vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+9) - These teams are both 2-5, but don’t get anything twisted. The Untouchaballs are much, much better than BVR. Scheduling conflicts caused UT to have two forfeit losses, and if you ignore the beating they got from TEIM in the crossover game, their other two losses were two points to Frodo, and two points to the DILFs in a game they had won until the final play. BVR is currently just The Replacements with better defense. They’ve only scored 20 more points than TR in the same amount of games. Yikes. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 17

 

DILFs vs Freeballers (+10) - I get that the Freeballers love to play with a chip on their shoulder and prove to all of the “haters” and “doubters” that they’re better everyone thinks, but after 5 seasons of this, maybe they’re just not that good, and they’re about as average as everyone thought? We’ll see how well they hold up against the DILFs this week, who are the actual definition of a good team that loves to play .500 football every season. DILFS BY 11

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Mountain Dew Me 29, Bullet Club 28

716 55, Scott Senior’s Starting 46

716 29, Mountain Dew Me 28

Can’t Touch This 30, Itches and Ohs 24

Get Schwifty 35, Practice Squad 32

 

Mountain Dew Me knocked Bullet Club off the list of the unbeatens before falling to 716 an hour later by the same 29-28 score. 716 went 2-0 on the day, sliding into 2nd place in the division with wins over SSS (who are in the middle of their usual downswing this season) and MDM. Can’t Touch This takes a nice win over Itches and Ohs, and Get Schwifty gets another win, this time over the struggling Practice Squad.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs Scott Seniors Starting (+7) - This matchup looked a lot more enticing on paper a couple of weeks ago, but since then BC lost their first game (with apparently some help from a “stopwatch malfunction” I’m being told) and SSS have lost 3 straight to tumble to 3-4. It’s going to come down to how often BC’s top ranked defense can stop SSS’ highly ranked top offense. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Bullet Club vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - These two squads meet again after going head to head in Week 1 earlier this season, a 12 point BC victory that wasn’t very close. But that was then. Since going 0-2 the first week, CTT is 3-0 with wins over 716, Schwifty, and Practice Squad. There’s at least one solid win in there. And with Anthony “The Better” Battaglia giving Handsome, Rocket Armed QB Ryan another option out there, the future is bright for the rascals in red. A new contender has entered the fight.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

716 vs Practice Squad (+10) - 716 is on the rise after a big 2-0 week that showed everyone that yeah, they’re a D3 title contender. Practice Squad isn’t exactly “running for the bus” at this point, but it has to be feeling like a “lost season” for the Lantz crew. The jump to D3 has been a learning experience for the Squad, and there are brighter days ahead. They’re just not this Saturday. 716 by 13

 

716 vs Get Schwifty (+8) - If you’re going to have a doubleheader, this is the one to have. 716 takes on the two low seeds back to back, and while Schwifty is better than most think they are, they’re not THAT much better. 716 continues to roll. 716 BY 11

 

Mountain Dew Me Vs Itches And Ohs (+9) - MDM made a statement last week that they’re here to contend for the title. They played two hard fought games against the top two teams in the division and they learned they can absolutely win this thing. Itches, however, are struggling to learn if they can win D3 or not this season. They’ve been off this year, as their uncharacteristic 2-4-1 record shows. More surprising is that their offense just isn’t getting it done, which was their bread and butter for quite some time. MDM rides their momentum to a victory. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 12

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing 62, Cobblestone 34

Buffalo Vice 31, Zack Attack 0

Travis Henry’s Kids 36, Vaspian 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 41, TOX 19

Puckett All-Stars 50, ILF 35

Cunning Stunts 69, TOX 16

Vaspian 30, ILF 20

 

Spinelli’s offense brutalizes Cobblestone’s weak defense while Buffalo Vice shuts out Zack Attack. THK finally wakes up and goes 2-0 to get out of the basement, while ILF and TOX go 0-2 to head to it. Puckett and the Stunts stay dominant, and Vaspian goes 1-1 along the way to stay afloat.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Vaspian (+13) - When I first saw this line, I thought it might be too high, but the truth is that it's less about Vaspian as it is about the red hot Spinelli’s offense. The last time Spinelli’s was on a heater like this, they won the whole thing. Twice. Vaspian will do all they can to slow Spinelli’s down, but the issue at hand might be just scoring enough to keep up. This won’t be one of those 16-14 games Vaspian is so good at winning. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

 

Buffalo Vice vs TOX (+8) - Despite TOX starting off 1-0, it's been nothing but pain since. 6 straight losses put them right in danger of missing the playoffs. This week is a playoff game for TOX. A loss to Vice here ends their season, as they won’t have any tiebreakers with the teams above them (they lost to THK last week, and they’d have a loss to Vice in this scenario) and they can’t catch anyone on record/points. A Vice loss doesn’t put them in as bad of a position, as their Week 1 tie with Spinelli’s is their saving grace. A loss just makes the next two games even MORE important. But I don't think they’ll have to worry about it. BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Buffalo Vice (+5) - The real THK showed up to play last week, and as a result they’re in a much better position than they were the last time this article was released. While they have another double header this week (absolutely rough scheduling), this game matters most to them. A win here clinches a playoff spot, and anything after that will be a bonus. Based on the slow start to the season, I’m sure they’ll take it. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+9) - Right now, Puckett is on a crash course with the Stunts for the rematch of all rematches. They’ve been on fire, and I still don’t think they’re getting enough love. This matchup would’ve been fantastic to see with both teams being fresh, but I’m pretty sure that THK will have some players in their 4th and 5th games (assuming Deak doesn’t tear his quad getting out of bed in the morning) and they’ll be understandably less than 100%. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 19

 

Zack Attack vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+4) - Both teams are 3-3 and trying to figure out if they’re contenders or pretenders here. They both have very similar defenses, but the difference is on the offensive side of the ball. Even with Zack Attack laying a complete egg last week, they’re still a bit better than ILF, who just haven’t quite found themselves yet this season. Lucky for them, this might be the time to do so…. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 1

 

Cunning Stunts vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+13) - ….because this one isn’t. The Stunts are slapping cheeks all over the place this season, as they’re one of two undefeated teams left in the TSL this season (TEIM is the other). They’ve beaten their two biggest contenders already in Puckett and Spinelli’s, and there’s nothing to suggest they’ll blow it in the first round of the playoffs, other than a deep history of doing exactly that again and again. This game isn’t the one where cracks start to show. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

 

Zack Attack vs Cobblestone (+8) - For what it’s worth, Cobblestone more than likely shouldn’t be 1-6. They’re a much better team than that, but for as much as they can score, they can’t play a lick of defense. If they’re going to make the playoffs, they MUST win this game. Luckily, they get a Zack Attack team that seems all out of sorts at the moment, so it seems like it's good timing to catch them in this state. COBBLESTONE BY 3

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Woodpeckers 35, TMA 24

Today’s Feast 29, Passing While Intoxicated 16

Come From Behind 34, Let’s Get Reccked 0

 

I did a triple take when I saw that the Woodpeckers took out TMA, but alas, it’s true. Today’s Feast continues to climb as they out duel PWI, and finally Come From Behind takes an easy one from LGR.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Woodpeckers (+7) - Which round of the Peckers are we going to see this week? After 5 weeks of roster struggles and rough play, the biggest news of Week 6 were the emails I got about how the Woodpeckers finally got their entire roster to the fields and they dominated TMA. Well, here’s the other contender to the D5 throne, let's see if Joe B has some magic left in that arm. A win here would send the entire division in a blender. Let’s ride the wave. WOODPECKERS BY 10

 

TMA vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - The best thing to happen to TMA was last week’s wake up call. TMA always plays better with some sort of chip on their shoulder, and now they get to double up on that this week as they take on the team that upset them in last year’s playoffs. Yeah, they already beat them this season, but they may as well do it again. Especially against a PWI team that just can’t seem to get it together this season. TMA BY A BILLION (or maybe just 16)

 

Woodpeckers vs Today’s Feast (+6) - Which Woodpeckers show up will once again be the answer here, but I could also say the same for Today’s Feast who can look good some weeks, and then can look like they’re not even playing the same sport as everyone else in others. I’m going to assume the Peckers bring the house again here. WOODPECKERS BY 9

 

Today’s Feast vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - It’s fun seeing Today’s Feast as the favorite. The TSL’s most average team through 6 weeks (seriously, they’re 3-3 with 150 points for and 150 points against) have got to be enjoying life as things start to click for them. The good times keep rolling as they get a very discombobulated team in LGR, who will be without namesake Ricky Recckio for the foreseeable future. TODAY’S FEAST BY 10

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Punt Cakes 56, Two Tuddies 20

Not So Sticky 26, Superior Moser Squad 9

Blitzkrieg 47, Lenny’s Ladies 0

Not So Sticky 33, Blitzkrieg 28

 

 

Punt Cakes picked up their second win of the year, manhandling the Tuddies. Not So Sticky handled the Superior Moser Squad and Blitzkrieg kept Lenny’s Ladies out of the endzone to set up a big 1v2 matchup that saw NSS take the victory.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Superior Moser Squad (+8) - SMS is enjoying a nice first season, as the argument for who is the best Moser QB heats up (here’s a hint: they live in Steve’s house, but it isn’t Steve) and I’ll always root for a team that has a female QB out there. But, it's fair to say that I’ve been a fan of Blitzkrieg for a long time, even when they’d constantly let me down. I remember the good old days when Alex was there every week, and Allie was the next best thing  on the fields. I remember when Tom was the best dual threat player in the division. Well, they’re gone, and the squad we have now is thriving as they make a name for themselves. All it took was some Light Red Hoodie QB magic, and some confidence and now we have a team that’s ready to win this thing. I’m all in on them, again. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

 

Not So Sticky vs Punt Cakes (+10) - The top team in the division takes on a Punt Cakes team that is slowly starting to figure out this football thing. Punt Cakes’ defense keeps them in games, it’s just a question of whether or not their offense can keep up. NSS seems to be drinking less than ever, which means they’re winning more. Someone get these guys another huggie bomb or 3. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Was last week an aberration for the top teams that lost? For some, yes. While I’d love to say the standings are going to be all shook up and we know nothing anymore, the truth is that I think Bullet Club, TMA, and Blitzkrieg are going to be just fine. If all three teams didn’t lose again for the rest of the season, I wouldn’t be surprised. Frodo Swaggins however, well, they have a buzzsaw to deal with in No Punt Intended. If they can’t show up against them this week, we have a new odds on favorite in D2.
2. What teams are we sleeping on? You’re starting to see this answer already. 716 has been quietly good all season and just got a few big wins last week. As much fun as it is to point out that John Langley is a head case, etc, THK still has an entire team of great players and they’re two plays from being 4-2. Can’t Touch This is a sleeping giant that is ready to emerge. At first glance at the standings, The Untouchaballs look like ass, sitting at 2-5, but once you dive into it, you realize they’re not too far off from contending for the D2 title, though I DO wish we got to see them play No Punt Intended.
3. Who really needs a win this week? Technically, only Cobblestone and TOX “need” wins this week to keep them in the playoff race. But in terms of keeping it together, I think the Legends need a win against Tight Ends just so that they know they can beat them. I also feel like ILF could really use a win after last week’s 0-2 run. The Freeballers need to beat the DILFs as well.
4. Will the referees bounce back? The hands down most talked about thing in my emails this week were about many of the referee mistakes that occurred last weekend. And a lot of that was about new refs not knowing the rules or admitting to not even reading the rulebook. This was the first week I really received word about some big mistakes, so we should assume things will get back to normal, but I’ve already heard that the powers that be are doing things to prevent this from happening again. But seriously, if you’re going to referee, at least read the rules over. And it’s okay to stop the game and ask for help. Nobody will get mad that you’re doing your best to get a call right.
5. What shape will the fields be in? It appears that fall hit Buffalo pretty hard, and it's been raining a LOT. That should soften up the fields, provided they’re not still flooded. Saturday looks to be about 60 degrees, overcast, and a little windy, as the second half of the season will continue to be played in dramatically different conditions than the first half was when it was constantly 85 degrees and the fields were “concrete like”.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. I got to listen to the TSL podcast this week, and I enjoyed hearing Dorene and B on the show. I know they have a lot of stories from back when I was playing in the league before I moved to my log cabin here in Des Moines, Iowa, and hopefully we’ll get to hear some of them next time.
2. Thank you to those who have emailed me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with their news and notes on their teams so far this season. Getting information was a lot easier when Lenny (and then Rameer) would talk my ear off on a Sunday or Monday about what was going on in the league. They knew everything. So please, take a second to shout out yourself or your teammates. Every little bit helps.
3. Breakfast Club Predictions:
1. Amber Alert 45, Messy Jessies 22
2. Steph Infection 40, Jennacide 37
3. BDSM 30, Special Kay’s 28
4. Best Games Of The Week:
   1. 10:00 - Tight Ends In Motion vs Legends
   2. 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Can’t Touch This
   3. 12:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
   4. 1:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
   5. 2:00 - Freeballers vs DILFs
   6. 3:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Itches and Ohs
5. Whispers are saying that December 9th is looking like the likely date for the banquet. Nothing is confirmed yet, just, you’d be smart to keep that date open.
6. B’s Brother was at the fields yet again this week, and he was confirmed to be calling out Topper for his absences. Topper, of course, has been on official league business in Ireland, as we consider all options for the league, which includes going international.
7. If I recall correctly, doesn’t someone still need to be Cookie and Elmo for past punishments? If you know who this is, feel free to tag them in the Facebook comments.
8. Has anyone seen the newest edition of “The Manager”? Yeah, me neither.
9. The TSLQBPRC has come out with its Top Males in the league list, which means people will be yelling how they should’ve been ranked this week every time they make a play.
10. The bar deserves a shout out this week as I’ve been told they’ve been really good to the league this year, other than the closing for bees. Good work.

 

 

It’s Friday. You’re only a day away from playing in the greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football league in the world. Good luck this weekend. I’ll be in the cut.

 

-GF OUT