Week 4 Review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Tuesday, 18 May 2021 17:05

Published: Tuesday, 18 May 2021 17:05

Written by Patrick McGovern

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And we’re back! Looking back on this week, all I can say is what a perfect day for football. The sun was shining, the winds were calm and the grass was dry. What else could we ask for? We saw some shake ups in the standings after this week’s play so let’s get right into what went down.

The previously undefeated Angels started their day against also undefeated Frodo Swaggins. The Angels seemed like they had an early lead but Garrett Beesing was able to rally his team in the second half, using their height advantage but not relying on the deep ball. Instead of throwing it up and taking chances, he took what was given to him to take control of the game. Nick Buczek looked to be on a mission throughout the game. Steph Czaja had some big catches, including one TD where she strong-armed Matty Ice. The Angels had some big drops that could have changed the outcome of the game but Frodo kept coming and The Angels could not keep pace.

Vaspian beat up on Wolfpack to get their first win of the season. Brian Orzechowski continues to improve each week and is leaps and bounds ahead of where he started. Gabe Eppolito had a real nice contested catch at midfield. Wolfpack pulled QB Ward Blewitt and put in Russ Santucci to finish out the game. Unfortunately, Santucci could not get much going either and Vaspian came away with the win 49-9.

So that was Vaspian feat. Drew Colisimo. Vaspian played again against Grey Hair Don’t Care and were on the other end of a whooping. Drew was playing for When Doves Cry and I’m not saying that’s exclusively what happened here but I am saying it was a major contributing factor. Don’t get me wrong, Vaspian has other athletes and Brian is looking good, but it is WAY easier to look good when you have a player like Drew downfield. That said, GHDC had themselves a day in their own right. Xavier Williams was a stand out player for them throughout this game. Dave Eickhoff led his team well. I am going to say that Dave read my article last week and that lit the fire he needed to right his ship. You’re welcome Dave. Not only did they easily get the win against Vaspian, 33-7, they took on The Angels later in the day and handed them their second loss. Jon Von could not be stopped on offense. Matty Ice did not look to be 100% and I noticed Katie Salisbury on the sidelines for the majority of the game. GHDC stayed full throttle and came away with a decisive victory, 42,27.

Puckett All-Stars earned a win over Show Me Dem TDs, 44-34. There was a ton of back and forth action in this game. Unfortunately I don’t know the name of anyone on PAS which I need to remedy because they have been around forever. Show Me Dem TDs continuously had their chances but could not capitalize, keeping them securely in that 7^th place spot which they are not going to want to be in come playoff time.

The Victorious Secret/Juiced game was probably the most hype game that no one expected. Jordan Lawson and his ladies showed they know how to move the ball. Nicole Becker displayed some outstanding hands while Ericka Szymanski seemed to be everywhere on the field at once. It is clear this team has been playing together for some time. They may have had a rough start to the season with 2 close losses and one blow out against Tater Tots but I would not be counting any D6 teams out. Juiced has yet to win a game (hey, they aren’t the only ones) but they are showing they are learning. QB needs to simplify the play calling and stop trying to force so many tight throws. Their defense also needs improvement; maybe Coach Jay can come by and give them a few pointers? Nevertheless, this game came down to the wire. Juiced had the lead and a chance to put it away but failed to punch it in. VS rose to the occasion with a final drive ending in a game-winning TD catch and the crowds went wild!

Tight Ends took their first loss to Eyes Downtown. What should have finally been a good D1 game turned out to be a disappointment. Bro Klecker is usually pretty reliable when finding and hitting his mark, but he was definitely off today. His receivers also didn’t do him any favors, failing to convert on too many 6^th down attempts. Bobby McConnell was his usual consistent self and TEIM could not find an answer on defense. Bobby has never been afraid to launch the deep ball and trust his receivers to go get it. When TE moved back to cover, it was a 10 yard out or slant to Jeremy Burr. At the end of the day, ED proved they are still headed for the D1 championship while TEIM is going to need to regroup and put this one behind them.

TMA took on Blitzkrieg in what was hailed as a “Rivalry Match”. There was plenty of excitement throughout the game. Nick Smith and Rob Rummings both did what they are known to do. Johnny Dio came back to Q for TMA. Alex was at the helm for Blitzkrieg and looked to be in midseason form. The game was always close and Nick Primerano (better known as Prim) had an end-of-game pick. Lauren O’Brien capitalized on that by scoring the game-winning TD to put TMA ahead 28-27.

XTC tallied their first win against Scared Hitless, 38-30. Dubey was dialed in and SH’s defense could not adjust fast enough. Similar to what I said before about Bobby, Dubey can read the field like no other. He can pick apart a zone and squeeze in passes where only his receivers can get to it. The Katie Keller/Cat Peters match up is always a fun one to watch as both these ladies have a very similar skill set. Great routes, solid hands-and both their QBs use them effectively. Dylan Day played well against a tough defense. SH has the talent at QB and receivers to do well in this division and we are seeing improvements each week.

The last game I’ll talk about today is Zack Attack versus Wasted Potential. Zack Elphick and Coach Jay went head to head in this tight match up between 2 of the top D5 teams. ZA is not known for putting up a lot of points on teams so their defense has kept them at the top of the standings (and current #1 in the league). Conversely, WP has yet to score less than 30 points in a game; however, with the exception of Week 1, they have allowed over 30 points a game as well. This week, Zack and company put up a season high 31 points. They have the crucial elements needed to succeed and Zack has proven time and again he knows how to use his weapons. WP could not get the final stop that they needed and ZA took the win by a point.

That’s all for this week. I sincerely hope everyone is enjoying this season as much as I am. I feel like there are still some teams I have not seen too often. Maybe we have similar schedules or maybe you aren’t making enough noise. If that seems to be the case for you, let it be known. Email one of the various address we have floating around the league, talk to people on the fields and at the bar, or just be so great that I could not help but take notice. I will leave you with the top 5 notable players for this week.

Top 5 Notables of Week 4:

1. Jordan Lawson- Scored 127 points in 2 games including a game-winning touchdown drive.

2. Dave Baker- Had 3 picks for EMigos against Valkryies.

3.  Nicole Sharick- Had a 4 touchdown game for Sticky Bandits

4. Lauren O’Brien- not only the aforementioned game winning TD catch ALSO named the newest Bachelorette! Godspeed Lauren!

5. JT- volunteered to watch the door while the rest of the field crew was playing or otherwise occupied

Until next time, I’ll be watching…

Week 2 Review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Tuesday, 04 May 2021 12:19

Published: Tuesday, 04 May 2021 12:19

Written by Patrick McGovern

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We are back with your newest addition of The Sentinel!

Week 2 was another successful week at the TSL. I’m starting to see some new faces make a name for themselves both on and off the field. Kudos to everyone following the Covid protocols. As I write this, I received news the state’s restriction are beginning to lessen. We will continue to exercise caution but things are definitely looking up. Let’s get to the games.

D1 has been less-than-thrilling so far this season, with most games being decided by 2 or more scores. Why So Serious had some attendance issues due to many of their players having a conflict with a men’s flag tournament or something. Pete gave it his best shot during both their games against Tight Ends in Motion and Public Enemy. Rough day for a double header, extra rough day to have a double header against those teams. Even after being granted special sub exemptions, WSW could not string together enough offense or defense to stay in their game against TEIM. We learned last week Dave Baker and Co do NOT take the foot off the gas and today was no exception. Bro has been impressive thus far. Bobby McConnell and Chris Cole should be more and more concerned about their ranking positions because Bro is coming for them. WSW did better against PE, granted they had more of their actual team there. I have heard talk that TEIM, PE and Eyes Downtown are the competitors in D1 but I don’t think we have really seen what WSW has to offer just yet so I am withholding judgement until we do.

I wanted to make a point to check out a new team, Wolfpack, this week. I saw many familiar faces in Garbacz, Russ Santucci and Joe Zogaria. I also saw A LOT of tight clothing (predominately among the male players unfortunately). They went up against The Untouchaballs in a defensive battle. Both QBs are new to the league so I guess that’s not completely unexpected. Wolfpack’s QB had some trouble stepping into throws and I did not see a lot of mobility out of him. He did make a nice completion deep to Santucci though that was definitely highlight-reel worthy. The Untouchaballs are probably the best 0-3 team in the league right now. Scheduling did them no favors but D3 is proving to be among the top competitive divisions. Melanie is a name you will be hearing as this season progresses and, I’m calling it now, a D3 female MVP candidate. After squeaking by 12-7, Wolfpack went on to play All We Do is Quinn immediately afterwards. Once again, time in the endzones was limited but this time it did not work to the Pack’s favor. Vince Taverna spread the ball around to his receivers. It is not easy to throw against the height of the Wolfpack’s defense but I did see an impressive back of TD pass to Joe Schwab. AWDIQ came away with the win 22-17.

When Doves Cry had a double header against Peachy Platoon and Losing Streak. I did not see a lot of the PP game but I caught the tail end in which WDC scored a TD to tie the game. They went for the conversion but Topper took a sack. Ya hate to see it. I’m not putting it all on Topper (this time) as from the snippets I saw and what I heard it was a good game. Peachy looks like they are getting back on track. The fireworks happened in the latter game against LS. I mentioned them last week and we all see they have athletes. LS took an early lead but WDC is chock full of veteran experience and athletes who fought their way back into it. In my humble opinion (and of the games I saw), this was the Game of the Day. It had everything you would want in a competitive, two hand touch co-ed football game. This was one of those games where I thought “if these teams play each other 10 times, WDC will win 5 and LS will win 5.” WDC was able to hold on with no time left to get a defensive stop resulting in a 34-31 win.

Later in the day Peachy Platoon took on Passed Our Prime. As I said, PP’s week 1 was in no way representative of them as a team. They are getting back into the groove of things. Having a double header is apparently no problem when your entire team is young and in shape. I could say POP had a tough start to the season but looking at the teams in D2 there really are no “easy” games. Jeremy Olson and Co put on a good show. Their females learned the hard way that PP’s females are quick and that speed is utilized well. They also were short at guys which did not help their cause so I find this is another team that we haven’t seen their full potential. Dean Thompson showed he is coming for a higher spot in the Power Rankings. With their win over POP, Dean has tied Topper with 95 Points For, the most in the division.

Show Me Dem TDs is the former Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers. This team changes their name seasonally so I can’t even say I was surprised when I found out who this was. They played Universal Wealth Management (aka The Kellers).  SMDT pretty much dominated this game. Tim Zielinski threw well and they seem to be recovering from the loss of Chris Nelson. Granted, UWM has been struggling early this season on defense. Scott Keller Sr has not been in attendance either to help make up for the point differential. D5 has a couple teams that could be playing up a division but SMDTs should have no trouble righting the ship from here but I think UWM will struggle to keep up. SMDTs did have trouble later in the day against Interdimensional Lightning Falcons. I didn’t see the game but the score (46-24) indicates SMDT used up all their energy a little too early.

Zack Attack beat Breast Friends and Interdimensional Lightning Falcons to land at the top of D5. Both were close games that were won by 1 score. Breast Friends had some uncharacteristic drops. Jay Elphick was a bit too much for the ladies to handle and Zack Elphick used what was being given to him.

Now let’s get to this week Top 5 Notables:

1. Freeballers- Have to give props to a team that gets a shut out. Woodpeckers got to experience the difference between D6 and D4 this week and despite the size and athletic talent WP have, FB held them to a big ol’ goose egg.

2. Derrick Bongiovani- TEIM has talent up and down their roster but someone who always seems to be making big plays but getting no press is Derrick. It’s time his name is put among the stars of the league.

3. Brandy Clark- Not only did she play great on When Doves Cry, I also heard she balled out on Breakfast Club, leading her team in TD catches.

4. Brent McKenzie- missed week 1 only to come back and elevate the game of every other person on TMA, including getting himself a TD on the day.

5. Jordan Lawson- kept the game close against current D2 favorite When Doves Cry then took over for Joey Batts and lead the Cunning Stunts to a victory over Freeballers, 43-19.

That’s all for this week. It really has been great to see everyone hanging out and watching games this season. The atmosphere is almost back to “pre-covid” days which I’m sure we all can agree is long overdue. Please remember to continue to follow the regulations still in place.  I am looking forward to week 3 as historically, that’s when the last remnants of rust are rubbed off and elite level play begins to shine. Remember, I’ll be watching…

week 3 review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Tuesday, 11 May 2021 18:44

Published: Tuesday, 11 May 2021 18:44

Written by Patrick McGovern

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Welcome to the Week 3 edition of the Sentinel! Did you do something amazing this week? I have to say, I couldn’t watch as many games as I wanted to this week but the people were certainly talking. Anyone hanging out at the bar seemed to have at least one big play or series to talk about during their games. I was giddy with excitement. Even in my limited time allowed on the fields, I caught some serious feats of athleticism. That said, here’s what went down.

Early in the morning, Tight Ends in Motion took on Sloppy Seconds. I’m not a betting man, but if I were, I would bet that this game was circled in Alex Buchalis’ planner since the schedule came out. SS are basically the Best of the Rest when it comes to the Tight Ends/Sticky Bandits friendship alliance. If they could squeak out a win against the proverbial Uber-athletic Big Brother, it would give them bragging rights for the season and probably into the summer as well. Alas, the Cinderella story was not meant to be this week as TE came away with the win 52-20. We did see the return of Lindsay Stoddard, much to the chagrin of SS. Stoner Dave also showed up big for TEs on both sides of the ball. Despite the loss, SS showed they have the talent to compete. Ryan Hogan is a name you will probably hear mention again as he showed some serious speed and field awareness. Buchalis apparently already knew this as he showed 100% confidence sending him deep to the endzone where Hogan made a one-handed catch for a 40 yard TD. 

Later in the day Sloppy Seconds were back to take on Eyes Downtown. Not to throw any shade on SS but this game was surprisingly close. At this point in the season, talk is D1 is a 3 horse race, especially with Why So Serious taking a forfeit this week due to continued attendance issues. SS came out strong and took an early lead against the newest version of ED. ED could not get a cohesive defense going, leading to some wide open plays for Ben Stack and Co. Despite being down 16, Bobby McConnell was able to right the ship in the second half and pull away with a 43-40 win. Next up, they faced Public Enemy. We all would have preferred both teams to be fresh for this game but with SS giving ED a run for their money, they came up short against their long time rivals and finished the day 1-1.

Slytherin the Endzone was back after a Week 2 bye. They took on Scared Hitless, who have had a slow start to the season but no one is ruling them out. Matt Newman made his 2021 debut and put all the QB controversy questions to bed. He was hot out the gate taking the quick passes when the defense gave it to him and not hesitating to take a shot down field. One particular toss that caught my attention was a bomb to Dawson Broad who brought it in with his fingertips. Taylor Pagano also added a pick to her stats on a failed pitch. D2 is still wide open as many teams already their bye so most teams have only played 2 games. Being the most recent addition to this competitive of a division, no one expected SH to run away with it. Dylan Day is seeing defenses that he’s probably not seen too much of but from what I saw of them last year I think they will be right in there with everyone else as the season progresses.  

The match-up between Wasted Potential and Show Me Dem TDs was one of the highlights of my day anyway. Both teams have faces I recognized but there were plenty of receivers making plays whose names I did not know. QBs Jay Jaskier and Tim Zielinski were both dialed in. WP came away with the win, leaving SMDTs sitting at 1-3 but 1-2 points their way and they could very easily be looking at 3-1. I wish I could say more about this game as a whole but until I learn the names of the players I saw making plays, you’ll just have to take my word for it that both these teams are poised to establish themselves as contenders sooner rather than later.

Blitzkrieg is showing no mercy to the gender teams in their division. They opened the season against Victorious Secret with a win and beat Lenny’s Ladies this past Saturday, 35-28. Offense has continued to struggle but they showed they can find the endzone when they need to. Allie Metzger made a sick juke to score a TD on 6^th down catching LLs off guard as they expected a deep bomb attempt. LLs were able to rally back and bring the score within one. Robin Maluka came up with a big pick in the final minutes, giving her team a chance to take the game. With no time left on the clock, Joe K tried to fire a ball into the Joy Thompson but the Blitzkrieg defense came through and knocked it away.

I said the WP/SMDTs game was one of the highlights of my day because Peachy Platoon versus Mountain Dew Me was also up there in terms of excitement factor. These teams balance out well. While Dean Thompson has the edge over Joey Batts in agility and speed (especially as I’ve noticed a significant decrease in Joey’s speed as of late), Joey takes the title for play calling. Both teams have their quick receivers and both teams utilize their females well. In fact, I would argue these two teams are in the Top 3 for how well-utilized their female receivers are (I’ll let you ponder who the third team is). The McGregor/Thompson duel was back and forth; both teams had picks, highlight reel TDs and big stops. Scott McGregor had a goal line pick 6 that may or may not have been a tag but if the ref doesn’t see it you play to the whistle and not many people are catching this guy in the open field. Leseaon Washington answered back with another pick the other way, broke Joey Batts’ ankles and took it to the house. Not saying it’s 100% Joey’s fault but I am saying that play pretty much sealed the deal and PP took the win 32-25 (so yes, I am saying it’s Joey’s fault).

Early D3 favorite TopShot took on a struggling Grey Hair Don’t Care following their win against WolfPack. TS has been a force to be reckoned with so far this season. Granted, they probably would have done fine in D2 but it’s looking like next year we will get to see that. Dylan Jaloza has plenty of weapons to work with and he is using them well. Frank LaRue isn’t talked about as much but he is making a name for himself as TS appears to be running away with the division early on. Dave Eickoff seems to be having some trouble rekindling the fire we saw from them just a couple seasons ago. So far this season, GHDC has only managed 45 points through 3 games, placing them in the bottom 5 teams in the league for Score For.  They had a tough strength of schedule so far, but I hope moral can stay up long enough to get back on course.

Ladies and Gentlemen…Darryl Carr is back!!! The TSL universe finally feels back in alignment now. Cobblestone started the season with 2 bye weeks but now all is well and right in the world. That said, Darryl and Co were pummeled in their first game back by a bigger, faster, and stronger Practice Squad. B led his team to trounce CB, 40-8. Obviously not Darryl’s fault. Sam Lattuca was back as well and the Darryl-Sam connection was as strong as ever. PS looks right at home in D4 already. Watching this game really got me thinking…Everyone talks about Renee Lantz this and that, but unless my highly trained, watchful eye does deceive, it appears as though Kenny is moving to take the title of Best Lantz. This is a competition I encourage everyone to keep an eye on. GOOD NEWS! Darryl got a second chance on the day and fared much better against Not So Sticky (albeit I heard reports of some mid-game cramping). CB looked much more like the team we have come to know and love. Chris Carr had a big pick on Ricky Reckio late in the game, while Sam was given the rock and dropped dimes as if they never missed a beat. Defense was lock down and they came away with the win, 46-7.

Top 5 Notables from Week 3:

1. All the Mom’s who are involved in the league in any way possible. Whether it’s playing, supporting from the sidelines or picking up your adult children later at night we appreciate you all are amazing and we appreciate each and every one of you! Happy Mother’s Day!

2. Nicole Keller- speaking of moms, Nicole balled out for Lenny’s Ladies and Universal Waste Management. Her stat report showed at least 15 catches on the day.

3. Marissa Thompson- I knew the Thompson’s were quick but when Marissa triple deked her way to a pick 8 against XTC last week and it was honestly magical to watch

4. Garrett Beesing- Proved he can run with the big kids in D1 with an impressive TD catch for Sloppy Seconds, QBed a win against All We Do is Quinn, refs on a regular basis AND I even spotted him helping out the TSL Field Crew with check in. Garrett deserves recognition for not only his athleticism but his upstanding character as well.    

5. Darryl Carr- He’s back and we are all better off for it (except anyone who wanted a Corona later in the day)

Until next time, I’ll be watching…

Week 1 Review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Tuesday, 27 April 2021 18:16

Published: Tuesday, 27 April 2021 18:16

Written by Patrick McGovern

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“Wel-come back, welcome back, welcome back, wel-come back”

-Mase

The day we all so anxiously awaited finally arrived! The weather was perfect which could only mean that our good friends Lenny and Rameer were clearly enjoying themselves upstairs watching us all. Week one was a huge success. We thank you all for following the Covid protocols at the fields and at the bar. I know some were hoping to be back to complete normalcy by now but for now we are working with what we have and everyone is doing a stand up job to ensure the safety of everyone involved. But enough about that. Most importantly is the reason we all gather each and every Saturday and that is the football (yes, I realize some of you have ulterior motives). It may be week 1 and I probably say it every year but most of you have not missed a beat. The off-season training and practice pays off again and provides me with plenty to take notice of this season. Props to Sticky Bandits, Scared Hitless, The Angels, Mountain Dew Me and The Bambs for moving up after winning your respective divisions last year. And a special shout out to Practice Squad for making it to the D5 championship and moving to D4 this year.  I am super pumped to be able to watch some games again and be able to tell all you fine folks about the cool shit that I saw. So let’s get started.

In looking at the standings, I saw a good number of new teams so I wanted to make a point of seeing some of what they will be bringing to the table. I began with Lenny’s Ladies and Travis Henry’s Kids. I heard tell that THK has played together in another league so I was curious to see how they stacked up in the TSL. Their first opponent was Lenny’s Ladies.  Joe K was back at QB, unfortunately the Ladies had some early season attendance trouble. LL is still considerably new and many of the ladies playing this weekend experienced their first taste of safety on defense.  THK demonstrated that they knew the game well enough to take advantage where advantage was to be taken. D6 is a competitive division this year and I think these guys will be right in the thick of things down the line.

I also took a gander at the All We Do is Quinn versus Grey Hair Don’t Care game. Despite losing Rawdog in Free Agency, AWDIQ continues to dominate with speed. GHDC just could not keep up. Vince Taverna is making an early play for a spot on the Power Rankings with his agility and accuracy on the run this week. It may be Week 1, but Vince and the rest of AWDIQ is already looking towards that D3 title.

When Dove Cries (previously known as Hofbrauhaus previously known as 1 Todd 2 Many) took on Scared Hitless for the latter’s first D2 match up. Things did not go great for SH as they seemed to have some trouble getting into a flow. I blame early season and new division jitters. Jamie Warren was missing for this game; however, Joey Ruderman (Farr? I know she married Jeff Farr but not sure of the name change situation) has made her return. Drew Colosimo brought in some new talent in Devin Linder who I have my eye on for an early D2 MVP. Devin has speed, hands and height (a combination even Topper can take advantage of). WDC looked solid and looking at their roster I think there are going to shock some people, especially with the 16-1 odds reported by the Godfather.

Next up we have The Untouchaballs against The Angels. Matty Ice is back for the Angels and they looked very much like the team we have come to know and love. Katie Salisbury is also back and was right back into being a dominating presence on both sides of the ball. Matty ran the offense he is known for where he scrambles around for 35 seconds then throws it up to one of his females down field. It may be unorthodox but it works. I saw one bomb to Casey Oliphant that no one on defense was ready for. The UTs played a solid game but could not stop the Angels on defense. I did notice a new female on their team who’s name I did not catch but she was fire. Great hands, solid routes and speed-this lady is going to do great things this season. Their QB was not someone I recognized although he seemed to have the speed, youth, and agility to play a very Matty Ice-like game once he gets some experience under his belt.

Losing Streak is another new team to our league, although they also previously played together elsewhere. They took on early D2 favorite Peachy Platoon. With Dean Thompson back in attendance it’s hard to bet against these guys but LS was able to come in and give them a run for their money. Chris Nelson moved up from D4 to a place he will fit in much better (although to be honest, he’s still playing in a division too low for where he should be). QB Jordan Lawson showed he knows the game and how to use his players. New teams coming in at D2 is always dicey but I think these guys will be right at home and offer some great competition this season. PP did not look like their usual selves so there may be some rust to get rid of as the season progresses. I also did not see Moriah Williamson in attendance. Definitely will be keeping an eye on both these teams this season.

Bullet Club took a win over Passed Our Prime. POP is technically new to the league although they did play in our inaugural indoor session this winter. BC had some big off-season signings with Scotty Dro and Rawdog. I did see Chad Griffin was back which adds yet another receiver over 6’2. The game was back and forth, both teams displaying a boundless amount of speed, height and route running. POP QB Jeremy Olson brought over a solid cast of players. Keyon Elias had a great game and really kept his team in it.  POP drew up great plays and proved they can run in D2 but BC just had the edge with guys that can stretch the field and a QB that can sling.

Cunning Stunts pulled out a win over Buffalo Vice (previously known as Buffalo Solar Solution). I have to start off with a shout out to whomever designed the Buffalo Vice jerseys because they are amazing. These teams know each other well. Both have few, if any, changes to the roster. Joey Batts and Co were operating with machine-like precision. Brandy Clarke had 2 picks (at least) which caused a huge momentum shift in the game. QB Andy Clark was able to utilize his girls and find his receivers but they could not keep up with CS’s scoring.

TMA was short some familiar faces with Ferger and Brent not in attendance. Their first game was against WoodPeckers (previously known as Pteratacos). Side note- what’s with all the name changes?? It’s hard enough to keep track of new teams and players, get it together. Just kidding. Anywho, the score says TMA lost 32-15 but we found out later that some shady shenanigans went down. Now normally I don’t like putting people on blast unless they do something embarrassingly funny that we can all get a good giggle out of but Joe and Mark Buscaglia of WoodPeckers, requested they move down from D5 this year after not doing well last season (even though they didn’t do that bad last year). Topper, in his graciousness, allowed them to move down then they show up with 3 players who we learned played college football and are at least a head taller than most people in the league. Shady antics like this are exactly why there is drama about division placements every year and rules that prevent our top tier players from playing in lower divisions. I’m sure Topper would love to be able to trust everyone at their word who says “This is my team, we should be in a lower division” but because of people like this he can’t. There is no glory in asking to move down, stacking a team then winning a game because you lied and basically cheated. In no way are we blaming the players as I’m sure they had no idea they were being added to a roster just for the single purpose of dominating the lowest division of the league. Joe and Mark, in my opinion, are frontrunners for League Villain and it’s only Week 1. For Shame! End rant. That said, TMA held their own pretty well. Johnny Dio subbed in at QB and played like the OG he is, offering a calm attitude and demeanor throughout the game. TMA did go on to beat Tater Tots later in the day. Besides an early score, TMA’s defense shut down TT’s Dylan Jaloza-less offense (that’s my confusing way of saying TT’s regular QB was not there). Nick Smith and Universal Sub Molly McDermott came through with a couple picks and Diana Bernal had 2 touchdowns. The scoreboard said 39-9 but don’t let that fool you. At full strength and once the early season rust wears off, Tator Tots are going to be right in it with the rest of this competitive division. They did defeat BiPolar Express earlier in the day, but unfortunately I was not able to see enough of that game to comment.

To end, I am going to go back to my Top 5 Notable Performances. These are going to be singular plays I saw from a player or team but not enough happened to comment on the entire game. I might also comment on some overall performances or improvements from players or teams throughout the season. Pretty much, this will be the cool (or not-so-cool) shit I saw or took notice of each week. So here we go:

1. Dave Baker: From what I heard, he broke the collective hearts of Sticky Bandits by choosing Tight Ends in Motion late in the off-season then proceeding to run up the scoring in their D1 debut. Cold Dave but we love a good drama.

2. Mountain Dew Me feat. Joey Batts:  I have to give credit for MDM jumping up 3 division after adding Joey Batts to their ranks. Of course, having Jill Battaglia is obviously the reason for the move but they pulled out a win against XTC (formerly known as Dilfs) in their D2 debut.

3. Bullet Club: I’m not sure what kind of signing bonuses they offered but BC went all kinds of Bill-Belichick in the off-season with bringing Griffin out of retirement and signing Dro and Rawdog.

4. Kelly Sabo: All the ladies of Breast Friends played exceptionally well. Kelly had herself a game with one particular great catch in the closing minutes of their game against Wasted Potential to put the game away. 

5: The Untouchaballs QB: I apologize for not knowing your name and while those of you paying attention can see they did go 0-2 on the day, the schedule master did not do them any favors. Add to that, I heard it was his first time playing. He held his own against the Angels and Frodo Swaggins. I’m calling it now, this guy is going places.

That’s a wrap on Week 1 of the Spring 2021 season review. As always, I had a great time being able to take in some A+ football this week. Thank you to everyone who came out, hung out, and helped out. Until next time, I’ll be watching...