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I see you, Vaspian.


The hottest team in the TSL walked onto the fields last weekend with something to prove, taking on two D4 contenders in Buffalo Vice and the Falconies, and they walked out 6-1 and on top of the world.


I see you.


In this very article, for many seasons, I personally trashed gave advice to them on how they needed to move down a division, or that they weren’t very good. That something needed to change.


And it did. QB Brian has found his stride (He wasn’t the QB for Vaspian’s Week 1 loss to Puckett), and the new weapons have settled in just nicely. Vaspian’s offense is scoring at a slower pace than most of the other D4 contenders, but their defense has been arguably the best in the division. 138 points allowed in 7 games. They’re ranked 5th overall in the TSL. They show up to the bar. They’re some of the nicest people we have in this league. I couldn’t be happier for them.


Their detractors might point to the fact that due to scheduling quirks (See: Topper does the schedule with his friend Mr. Wine), Vaspian has been able to avoid the Cunning Stunts and Itches and Ohs so far. But maybe the genius there is that we’ll wait until playoffs for those big matchups.


Vaspian isn’t the only ‘hot’ team in the league I see either.


I see you, Public Enemy.


Despite being given a mandate from Topper NOT to glamorize the 4th annual Chris Cole Retirement Tour, apparently at the wishes of the man himself, it’s hard not to watch what’s happening in D1. And that’s total NSFW, BDSM style domination as PE is 6-0, ranked 2nd overall in the TSL, has the most points for, and the best defense in D1. Every other team has questions, Public Enemy just has answers.


I see you, When Dove Cries.


Yeah, I get it. A&A is 7-0 and on cruise control. Top Shot is very impressive in D2. But right now, the 4-3 WDC is catching my eye. I know, they’re 4-3. They lost to Top Shot last week on an apparent controversial call with a fumble at the goal line being called wrong. They lost to Scared Hitless by 4. They lost to A&A by 9. There’s a world where they’re the 7-0 team, and it starts with having their roster there every week, which was a struggle early on. The have the top defense of the teams above them, and their offense is right there as well. Best point differential in D2 as well. Look out for them.



I see you, Travis Henry’s Kids.


After an 0-2 start in D6, THK has ramped up their game (and I guess their giant, 15 person roster) to go 3-0 since. They’re second in their division, but they have the most points scored in D6 as well. (They have scored 7 more points than the D6 ‘favorites’ TMA but have also played one less game.) Their defense isn’t the world’s greatest, as they’ve allowed 37, 32, and 35 points in that span, but it doesn’t matter when your offense is humming along as theirs has been. QB John Langley is one of the more underrated QBs in the league (such is the life of a D6 quarterback) and someone really need to tell him to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me in on the who’s who of this squad this season.


I see you, Wasted Potential.


5-2, and playing very good defense. The offense is a little behind where you’d want it to be, I know, but what are you going to do when you haven’t really had a consistent QB? The Week 1 loss to Not So Sticky is one you’d like to have back for sure. Going into this weekend’s matchup against Spinelli’s with also a 6-1 record would’ve been ideal. But you can’t change the past. Your future however, is right there in front of you. Go out and show the world who you really are this weekend.


I see you, 4th and Dong.


You lied to us the first few weeks. After a tie with Frodo, you ran out to a 3-0-1 start, defeating the likes of the Super Freaks, Cobblestone, and Last Dance. Once you started playing the top teams in the division however, you sank like a stone. 0-3 in your last few matches, you couldn’t get over 50 points when I believed in you, and now you’re set up to get elbow dropped by the Freeballers as well. You’re a bunch of phonies. There’s a reason you lost your eggplant.





Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 33, Sticky Bandits 18

Eyes Downtown 63, Losing Streak 6

Public Enemy 44, Sticky Bandits 35


               Just a brutal doubleheader for Sticky Nation as they were “blessed” with Public Enemy AND Tight Ends In Motion this week. And man did it show as there were no “last play of the game” scenarios this time around. Just beatdowns. Speaking of beatdowns, Losing Streak apparently decided to play left handed and blindfolded this weekend. I’ll just stop at “yikes”.


This Week’s Games:


Public Enemy vs Losing Streak (+8) – It’s hard to really say much about this game where one team looks very good and the other looked about as bad as they ever will. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 13


Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Sticky Nation attempts to right the ship against the Kabombs, who have been improving with each week. This feels like we’ll be right back to “last play of the game” excitement that Sticky just keeps giving us. SLOB KABOMBS BY 1 WHEN STICKY DOESN’T GET THE GAME WINNING TWO POINT CONVERSION


Tight Ends In Motion vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – Despite the excitement of the 63 points last week, Eyes Downtown still isn’t quite in the champs’ league. TIGHT ENDS BY 8


Eyes Downtown vs Slob Kabombs (+2) – This game will be delayed for 20 minutes as they argue over who gets to wear grey. And then we’ll see a slight upset. SLOB KABOMBS BY 12


Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (+14) – I still can’t believe a team that has two apparent “top 7” WRs only mustered 6 points. I’m sure Chris Nelson cares, but something tells me that’s been sticking with Ralph Finney for a week now. If he’s healthy (I heard something about an ankle injury), look out. LOSING STREAK WAKES UP AND WINS BY 4




Last Week’s Games:


When Dove Cries 21, Passed Our Prime 0 (Forfeit)

A&A 40, Bullet Club 30

XTC 37, Notorious BNB 22

Top Shot 39, When Dove Cries 34

Scared Hitless 38, Passed Our Prime 30


               Passed Our Prime’s goal of being the highest scoring team ever did what all of POP’s goals do (like winning games, for instance): fell short. They feared Topper and refused to play the game, and then showed up 6 hours later to get smacked around by Scared Hitless. They may just be a warmer weather team. A&A overcame a slow start to get by Bullet Club. XTC got win #2 with Joey Batts under center, taking out BNB. Top Shot got another big win in D2 over When Dove Cries, even though it was mired in controversy.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs Bullet Club (+10) – The scheduling ladder matches give us a replay of last week (and, if A&A wins this one, I think it guarantees we’ll have an A&A vs Bullet Club match in the first round of the playoffs). A&A looked good with their entire team showing up, Bullet Club looked like they always do: losing games and missing players. A&A BY 14


Top Shot vs The Notorious BNB (+8) – Top Shot has shown that they can hang in D2 no problem. At this point, they’re just playing good football as they await their eventual rematch with A&A. BNB’s up and down season has been mostly downs. Their defense (or lack thereof) will hurt here. TOP SHOT BY 16


Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+8) – Another rematch from last week, Scared Hitless looks to improve on last week’s win with Dylan actually playing QB this time. The result will more than likely be the same. SCARED HITLESS BY 8


When Dove Cries vs XTC (+6) – There’s nothing Topper wants more than to beat Joey Batts in this potential QB showdown between two icons. Sure, Dubey may show up and ruin that. But just in case he doesn’t, it’s clear Topper flew in his own personal referee in Jeff May to ref this game and shenanigans will be afoot. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 12




Last Week’s Games:

Grey Hair 27, Last Dance 26

The Angels 21, Show Me Dem TDs 0 (Forfeit)

Grey Hair 27, 4th and Dong 24

The Untouchaballs 29, 4th and Dong 22

Frodo Swaggins 28, Super Freaks 22

Freeballers 54, Cobblestone 35


               The Freeballers just dominated Cobblestone in a game that seemingly took forever. Grey Hair really made a big statement this week, going 2-0 and reclaiming the top spot in the standings in D3. D3 is a complete warzone right now. There are 5 real candidates to win this thing. 4th and Dong is no longer one of them, as they went 0-2 against the “competent” competition. Fakers. Frodo picked up a win against Super Freaks, Angels got a forfeit win. Finally, The Untouchaballs continue their dominance with another win.


This Week’s Games:


The Untouchaballs vs Super Freaks (+15) – This isn’t going to go well for one of these teams. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 22


Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance (EVEN)  - It’s hard to gauge Frodo still as they’ve only played 5 games. They feel off this season. Last Dance is better than their record shows, and they’re feeling the heat from the “miss the playoffs” line that they’re just above. LAST DANCE BY 8


Frodo Swaggins vs Cobblestone (EVEN) – Reports of Garrett Beesing being All-Time QB for both teams despite busting his collarbone last week (get well soon my man) don’t feel like they’re just rumors. If anyone would do this, its him. Unsure who his replacement ends up being. COBBLESTONE BY 2


The Angels vs Cobblestone (+4) – Cobblestone will keep it close, but the Angels are just operating on that certain level that, when they get to it, they can’t be stopped. THE ANGELS BY 9


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Show Me Dem TDs (+9) – Grey Hair looks to keep the #1 seed for the playoffs, and with the way they’re rolling, I can’t imagine the circus that SMDTDs is every week will be able to overcome that. GREY HAIR KIND OF CARES BY 17


Freeballers vs 4th and Dong (+22) – Freeballers are pretty damn good but everyone has just forgotten about them since they’ve had multiple QB changes, only 5 games, and haven’t had stability yet. 4th and Dong are fakes. FREEBALLERS BY 15


The Angels vs Freeballers (+2) – This is going to be a great game. FREEBALLERS BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Breast Friends 62, Today’s Feast 26

Buffalo Vice 40, Gucci 16

Puckett All-Stars 42, Titsburgh Feelers 12*

Vaspian 40, Buffalo Vice 6

Practice Squad 38, Zack Attack 25

Vaspian 14, Falconies 9

Cunning Stunts 61, Itches and Ohs 52


               61-52 is a crazy stupid barnburner, and to hear that it ended on a late Joey Batts INT to seal things warmed my heart. Breast Friends are rounding into form as they handled Today’s Feast with no issue. Buffalo Vice pulled off the win against Gucci before getting punched in the mouth by Vaspian. Injuries and people not showing up are starting to rear their ugly head for Vice, again. Vaspian would also then go on to beat Falconies in a defensive battle. Practice Squad, despite injuries of their own, would go onto to put Zack Attack in their place. They’re not dead yet. Last, and certainly least, Mike Boccio made his QB re-debut and it was as much of a dud as was expected. The Emily Curry Breakfast club team filled in for the Titsburgh Quitters, and we were quickly reminded why they didn’t fare too well.


This Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts vs Breast Friends (+3) – GENDER BATTLE! Both teams have played 6 games, and while the Stunts have been getting all of the press (See, they’re 5-1 compared to 3-3) Breast Friends are playing just as well. These two teams are similar. Both have league legends on both sides. Both teams have quarterbacks that are acquired tastes. Breast Friends scores a little more, the Stunts play better defense. This is going to be awesome. TIE. KIDDING. CUNNING STUNTS BY 1.


Puckett All-Stars vs Today’s Feast (+15) – Today’s Feast preps for their D5 future. Puckett begins their usual late ascent in the standings to pull off some playoff “upset”. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 19


Cunning Stunts vs Titsburgh Feelers (NO LINE) – I’m not sure if we’re getting the same team to play in place of the Feelers or if it’ll be a new team. Either way, here’s hoping we’ve seen the last of the Boccio at QB experiment. Travis kept him in D1 to protect him, not hold him down.


Vaspian vs Breast Friends (+2) – Two teams that are hot do battle. Last time Vaspian won 44-39, so they did have an answer for “Travis runs around a lot”. Look for them to continue their momentum. VASPIAN BY 7


Practice Squad vs Gucci (+10) – Gucci is still figuring out how to run an efficient TSL offense consistently. There’s always a learning curve. Practice Squad is coming out to play and not just letting the season pass them by despite the mishaps. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 9


Itches and Ohs vs Zack Attack (+4) – Itches and Ohs can’t stop anyone, but they also really can’t be stopped. I’m not sure Zack Attack and their growing offense can keep up in this shootout. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8


Buffalo Vice vs Falconies (EVEN) – I don’t know how to properly judge this game. When both are healthy, Vice runs away with this, but I know from talking to Dan Gonzalez this week its just not the case. I’m not sure the skeleton crew offense Vice trots out can score on the Falconies good D. FALCONIES BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky 31, TOX 0

Lettuce Win 44, TOX 14

Come From Behind 38, Woodpeckers 26

Spinelli’s Plumbing 36, Not So Sticky 16

Wasted Potential 32, Woodpeckers 6

Wasted Potential 22, 716 20

Come From Behind 36, Not So Sticky 6


               Come From Behind has been killing it lately and they’ve been rocketing up the standings going 2-0 on the day. Not So Sticky’s problem has apparently been playing too late in the day, as they were flawless early in the day, and painful to watch by day’s end. TOX and Woodpeckers both went 0-2 on the day, which means Lettuce Win got another victory as things might be looking up for the new (returning?) team. Wasted Potential went 2-0 themselves, handling the Woodpeckers before surviving a battle with 716.


This Week’s Games:


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Wasted Potential (+7) – Well, here’s another 9:00am marquee matchup. If Wasted Potential is going to be taken seriously, this is the time to show why. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 2


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TOX (+27) – This is going to be brutal to watch, and someone may have to call the police before it’s over. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 40


Wasted Potential vs Lettuce Win (+13) – Lettuce Win isn’t quite there yet to compete with the tippy top of the division. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 13


Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (+7) – Come From Behind’s offense is only rivaled by Spinelli’s in D5. Not So Sticky is about as “league average” as a team can get. Give me the hot hand and the ol’ gunslinger in Paul Lovullo. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12


716 vs Woodpeckers (+10) – 716 still doesn’t get the credit it deserves. But they’ve been a really good team since Week 1. It’s just hard when nobody knows quite who they all are. They’re good though, and even at 4-3 they’re a D5 title threat. Don’t sleep on them. 716 by 7




Last Week’s Games:

Victorious Secret 35, Blitzkrieg 34

Victorious Secret 36, Blitzkrieg 18

Travis Henry’s Kids 52, Lenny’s Ladies 35


               Say what you want about Jordan Lawson, he’s still a good QB (Don’t look at the D1 results please, thanks). So giving him two games against an opponent means he’s going to improve that second game every time. 2-0 against Blitzkrieg, who aren’t in the best season they’ve ever had. But everyone makes the playoffs. The red hot Travis Henry’s Kids had a reported 29 people on their roster for the game against Lenny’s Ladies, and they continued to dominate.


This Week’s Games:


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves Bros haven’t seemed the same to me in over a season now, and with THK just slicing through teams, I can’t imagine that getting better for GB this week. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5


TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+10) – Blitzkrieg, I love you guys. I really do. But things just haven’t gone your way, and that’s okay. BK gave TMA a fight earlier in this season so the upset potential is there, especially if a week off for TMA took them off their routine. TMA BY 8


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – A rematch from last week, I assume Topper will be the LL QB again. I heard the Ladies were shorthanded last game, so hopefully they’ll be at full strength and we’ll see a better matchup this time. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 9


Victorious Secret vs Lenny’s Ladies (+6) – Ending the TSL day how we began it: GENDER TEAM BATTLE! These two teams haven’t faced off yet this season that I can see, so it’ll be awesome to have a big match feel to it. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3




1. Who has the most to prove this week? I’d say its Wasted Potential. D5 was declared “over” in Week 3, but WP has battled back to make this a race. A win, or even a close loss to Spinelli’s this week at least gives us the idea that someone else can take this title.


2. What referees are going to bail on the league Friday night at 10pm? I heard about the struggle with the referee schedules last weekend. It’s pretty lame of those refs to bail on their responsibility so close to Saturday like that. People are going to start having to start spinning the punishment wheel.


3. What teams do I want to learn more about? Well, technically all of them, but I’d like to hear more about 716, Today’s Feast, and Lettuce Win for sure.


4. Will any team go undefeated? There are two weeks left in the regular season. As of now, Public Enemy is 6-0, A&A is 7-0, and TMA is 6-0. I could see a TMA slipup for sure. I’m sure they have a late “we’ve been at the bar for a few hours before the game” game left on the schedule. PE looks so incredibly dominant, as long as they don’t have a “miss most of the roster” game, they should do it. I can’t see A&A losing to Bullet Club this week, so it’ll come down to next week’s “1st vs 2nd” matchup which aims to be against Top Shot. Spicy. I think we’ll get one at least.


5. Most underrated team it the TSL currently? Come From Behind has been very good lately. Freeballers are excellent as well. And we should all stop sleeping on the Slob Kabombs.




1. Shout out to the people who stepped up during “RefGate” last weekend. Even if some weren’t perfect, it’s still nice of the league to come together and help out.


2. What happened to Notorious BNB? Weren’t they supposed to be good?


3. It appears the “Alex Buchilis Award For “What If This Team In D1 Had A Different QB” is going to Jordan Lawson. The emails I’ve gotten and the whispers around the league are starting to ask ‘What If?’. Interesting times ahead. Nothing shuts them up quite like winning though.


4. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, but for those who may not know, Dawson Broad of Slytherin That End Zone was involved in an accident on July 4th. I don’t know the details on his current status, but I do know that on October 24th, from 1pm-4pm, there is going to be a fundraiser for him at the Blackthorn Restaurant. It’s the Bills bye week that week so don’t worry about that. Anyway, a ticket is $30, and it would be awesome to see a large TSL presence there to support one of our own. I’m sure others have more information on it, and they should email me to give me more info so I can proceed to pass it on to all of you.


5. I’m tired of talking about the weather for this league. No matter what I say, it ends up being the opposite. It should be 74 and sunny. Which means it’s going to snow.


6. Next week’s article, I’d like to do a “reader mailbag” type thing, so please take a few minutes from your day and send in some questions please!


7. The best games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Wasted Potential vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

               10:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance

               11:00 – Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime

               2:00 – Freeballers vs 4th and Dong

               3:00 – Buffalo Vice vs Falconies


8. My favorite texts I got from the fields last week had nothing to do with the games that were going on. It appears, instead, that Frank from the Wanderers was busy challenging Public Enemy to a match to see who the best team is. He claims they would win a Best of 7 series in 5 games. I heard he wanted $1000 put up on the games too. This can easily happen, and I know the TSL will accommodate such a challenge.


9. Referees blow calls all of the time. It’s a tough thing to do. Try to be as civil as possible. Even if they call a touchback on a fumble.


10. It appears that post-football darts are really ramping up at the bar. Okay, Topper just told me about how much he loves it, so that means it must be happening in some capacity. Either way, that was always a solid pastime, so get into the bar and challenge!


Week 7 is here, and there isn’t much else we can do about it. The playoffs are on the horizon. It’s already October. Winter Football will be back, so it won’t be too bad. Topper should have more info on that sooner than later. Just prepare to have a blast. I heard teams are already forming.


Go forth and have fun.


I’ll see you in the cut.



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