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Playoffs Predictions and Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 15 October 2021 10:13
Published: Friday, 15 October 2021 10:13
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 5


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, WE’VE MADE IT!


The adventure that began over two months ago brings us to its final stages: The Playoffs!!


That’s right, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins this Saturday, October 16th in the Year of Our Lord 2021 at 9:00am, Eastern Standard Time. 44 of the TSL’s 50 49 Teams still have hope going into this weekend at the Rose Garden. Not counting the quitters that are the Titsburgh Feelers, let’s go take a second to remember those that didn’t qualify for “The Race”.




Super Freaks (0-9, Division 3)

Points For: 22.25 (9th)

Points Against: 37.88 (10th)

Final TSL Ranking: 50th


The TSL’s only winless team didn’t deserve their fate, as they took being moved up a division in the preseason in stride, despite the losses. Here’s hoping they get to D4 next season and actually show us what they can do.


Today’s Feast (1-8, Division 4)

Points For: 24.00 (9th)

Points Against: 37.33 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 46th


Despite going 1-0 to start their TSL careers, the aptly named Today’s Feast proceeded to have Growing Pains each and every week since. I don’t think it’s a bad plan to drop one more division and figure things out there in the spring either.


Show Me Dem TDs (2-7, Division 3)

Points For: 19.63 (10th)

Points Against: 32.63 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 45th


The jump up from D5 to D3, despite not having a great season there didn’t seem to be the move for SMDTDs. Despite absolute killers on the female side of things like Missy Keem, Christina Nelson, Meg McInenery, and Jackee Thompson, Jon Senn’s hopes of this season were dashed early when long time QB Tim Z just decided playing football wasn’t for him anymore apparently. And so the season from hell began, and never stopped. Give them a QB, and they’ll be fine in D3. They showed signs of life multiple times this year, when people actually showed up.


GUCCI (2-7, Division 4)

Points For: 28.33 (8th)

Points Against: 37.22 (9th)

Final TSL Ranking: 43rd


Gucci may have had an outside chance to make the playoffs going into the season’s last weekend, even if it was incredibly slim. Even still, their first season in the TSL wasn’t as bad as it seems. Their QB, Kelly Kane, had to miss the first couple of weeks, and then was thrown right into the middle of the fire as everyone else was finding their groove. After taking a little time to adjust from not having nearly as much time as she’s used to from AAA ball, Gucci started progressing near the end of the season. Look out for them next year.


Practice Squad (4-5, Division 4)

Points For: 32.33 (5th)

Points Against: 34.67 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 32nd


I simply cannot believe I’m writing this. Playoffs without Practice Squad just seems icky and wrong. Sadly, sometimes teams just have that season where everything goes wrong, and this one was it for the Squad. Topper of course blamed Kenny, but they fought through injuries, and a completely loaded D4 to be sitting in a playoff spot heading into the day, but they fell victim to Puckett’s late season magic, and they’ll be licking their wounds on the sidelines until Spring.


And there you have it folks, our lovely TSLers that are no longer with us.


Now, onto the ones that are.




The Odds

Public Enemy (2-1)

Eyes Downtown (6-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (6-1)

Slob Kabombs (12-1)

Sticky Bandits (15-1)

Losing Streak (15-1)


               A crazy season that saw Public Enemy almost run the table, Tight Ends In Motion look like the championship hangover is real, Bobby’s return to dominance, and a lower half of the division that can absolutely pull off an upset in the playoffs makes this D1 a little spicy. Or, more than likely, Public Enemy stomps everyone and Cole goes out on top.


Byes: #1 Public Enemy (8-1), #2 Eyes Downtown (7-2)


#3 Tight Ends In Motion (5-4) vs #6 Losing Streak (2-7)

Points For: TEIM 31.00 (5th), LS 32.00 (4th)

Points Against: TEIM 28.67 (2nd), LS 41.00 (6th)

TSL Ranking: TEIM 25th, LS 44th

Past Games: Losing Streak 38 - TEIM 24, Losing Streak 30 - TEIM 20, TEIM 34 - Losing Streak 22

Line: Tight Ends In Motion (-13)


After losing twice to LS, Tight Ends got it together and figured out how to beat Jordan and Company, and just in time. TEIM has no bye this season, and they get the team that’s had their number all Fall. This is one of the worst “championship reigns” in TSL history, as Tight Ends look like a team that just doesn’t seem to have that chip on their shoulder. Key players have missed games all year, and they seem to have some QB issues they weren’t expecting. Meanwhile, despite being 2-7. Losing Streak has shown up. They’ve been in most games, if we throw out that 63-6 anomaly. It’s easy to talk about how good Chris and Ralph are, but people tend to ignore that Joe Robison, John Cale, and Ant Cordova exist too. And Amy, Rylee, and Anna are all very good at what they do. This game will be a lot closer than people think, but I’m still going to take the defending champs. TIGHT ENDS BY 2


#4 Slob Kabombs (3-6) vs #5 Sticky Bandits (2-7)

Points For:  SK 33.00 (3rd), SB 24.38 (6th)

Points Against: SK 37.43 (5th), SB 36.00 (4th)

TSL Ranking: SK 39th, SB 41st

Past Games: SK 26 – SB 25, SB 21-SK 0 (FF), SK 30-SB 21

Line: Slob Kabombs (-7)


Sticky Bandits is having that season everyone expected last year this year. It happens, especially when you go through the personnel changes that had to experience this season. Slob Kabombs have been one of the hotter teams in the TSL, but they’re still flying a little under the radar. I’m not going to throw Sticky Nation under the bus (see what I did there?) just yet, because they’ve proven to be able to compete when things look less than ideal. Their Points For would be better if not for a forfeit, and having their actual QB for some of the games. SK has the edge athletically, but SB does mentally. STICKY BANDITS BY 4




The Odds:

Top Shot (3-1)

A&A (3-1)

Scared Hitless (7-1)

When Dove Cries (9-1)

XTC (9-1)

The Notorious BNB (15-1)

Passed Our Prime (20-1)

Bullet Club (30-1)

               Top Shot and A&A stand out, but they can’t be too cocky, Scared Hitless is definitely out there looking to show the TSL what they can do. Also, the winner of When Dove Cries – XTC has a very good shot to take this home too. Notorious BNB, Passed Our Prime, and Bullet Club are also teams in this division.



#1 A&A (8-1) vs #8 Bullet Club (1-8)

Points For:  A&A 38.11 (1st), BC 26.22 (8th)

Points Against: A&A 30.00 (3rd), BC 37.11 (7th)

TSL Ranking: A&A 1st, BC 48th

Past Games: A&A 40-BC 30, A&A 49-BC 16

Line: A&A (-17)


Even with a loss last week to Topshot, A&A remains the #1 seed overall in the entire TSL. They’ve been scoring at will and playing very good defense to boot. On top of that, they only lost last week because Matty Ice wasn’t playing. Their reward? Taking on old rival Bullet Club for the 3rd time in 4 weeks. Bullet Club got their first win of the season last week, beating Passed Our Prime, but that came with Travis playing QB. With their own QBs, they lost by 10 with Scotty, and by a lot more than 10 with Jeff Easton. I never like to say never in the playoffs, especially in D2, but an upset looks pretty bleak here. A&A by 10


#2 Top Shot (8-1) vs #7 Passed Our Prime (2-7)

Points For:  TS 32.00 (6th), POP 37.50 (2nd)

Points Against: TS 25.78 (1st), POP 41.75 (8th)

TSL Ranking: TS 2nd, POP 42nd

Past Games: Top Shot 37, POP 30

Line: Top Shot (-10)        


On paper, these two teams should be equal. I know that POP has once again run into issues with their team showing up. Top Shot seems to be struggling to score this season, which feels odd, but their ridiculous defense more than makes up for it. Honestly, I can paint this matchup however I want, but the truth is that it’s going to come down to how often POP can score on the TS defense. POP only lost by 7 before, and if Top Shot underestimates them, they could take this game. I don’t see the upset happening however. TOP SHOT SURVIVES A SCARE BY 2


#3 Scared Hitless (7-2) vs #6 The Notorious BNB (3-6)

Points For:  SH 35.50 (3rd), BNB 27.11 (7th)

Points Against:  SH 28.75 (2nd), BNB 34.89 (6th)

TSL Ranking: SH 7th, BNB 36th

Past Games: Scared Hitless 30 - BNB 20

Line: SH (-10)


Scared Hitless is the under the radar, feel good story of D2, and maybe even the entire TSL. After a rough go last season (and wanting to go back to D3), they stayed in D2 and thanks to some more reps in D2, Dylan Day has become a pretty decent D2 QB. Add in Brandon Farr, the fantastic ladies, and of course JONNY F’N FOOTBALL, and that’s a fantastic recipe for a hell of a season. The Notorious BNB had an awful season based on “Sticky Ends Inc.” standards. The newest hybrid of a football team from them had unusually poor results. They started off hot, but due to various factors, they just weren’t up to snuff this time around. At full power, BNB is a better team than they’ve shown, but honestly they’re just not on SH’s level. SCARED HITLESS BY 13


#4 When Dove Cries (4-5) vs #5 XTC (3-6)                    

Points For:  WDC 34.00 (5th), XTC 34.67 (4th)

Points Against: WDC 31.14 (4th), XTC 34.78 (5th)

TSL Ranking: WDC 31st, XTC 35th

Past Games: WDC 37 – XTC 20, XTC 42 - When Dove Cries 22

Line: When Dove Cries (-3)


This is as about as close a matchup as we’re going to get here. In typical D2 fashion, the season has three “standouts” and the rest are under .500. Don’t be fooled though, these two teams are very talented. A mix of slow starting, and some untimely losses that should’ve been wins 8 times out of 10 get us to where we are. These two teams split the season series 1-1, with both teams winning by two scores. This game is going to be a great one, and either one can truly win. This can only end one way: Topper overthrowing Aaron in the end zone for the game winning TD. XTC BY 4




The Odds:

The Untouchaballs (3-1)

The Angels (4-1)

Last Dance (4-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (8-1)

4th and Dong (15-1)

Freeballers (17-1)

Cobblestone (35-1)


                     A season that came right down to the end here, D3 was ridiculous. The Angels have been good all season, as have The Untouchaballs. Last Dance has really picked it up over the last part of the season, and I didn’t even mention Grey Hair Don’t Care! There’s so much ridiculous talent here, as I wouldn’t be surprised to see Frodo winning the title either. Or 4th and Dong. Or Freeballers. Good luck figuring this one out.


#1 Grey Hair Don’t Care (7-2) vs #8 Cobblestone (3-6)

Points For:  GHDC 26.56 (7th), Cobblestone 27.22 (6th)

Points Against: GHDC 22.00 (1st), Cobblestone 33.00 (9th)

TSL Ranking: GHDC 10th, Cobblestone 38th

Past Games: Grey Hair Don’t Care 28 – Cobblestone 8

Line: Grey Hair (-7)         


Grey Hair Don’t Care survived the trainwreck that was D3 this season. There are a legitimate 7 teams that could win this championship and it wouldn’t surprise me. Cobblestone is the one that would surprise me. I don’t say that to be negative, it’s just I can’t imagine a team having to run the gauntlet they’d have to in order to make this happen. Cobblestone struggles to score sometimes, and getting put up against that terrific GHDC defense, I think we’ll see something along the lines of 28-8 again. GREY HAIR BY 10.


#2 The Untouchaballs (6-3) vs #7 4th and Dong (4-4-1)

Points For:  UT 32.44 (4th), 4ND 32.67 (3rd)

Points Against: UT 25.67 (3rd), 4ND 30.78 (7th)

TSL Ranking: UT 11th, 4ND 27th

Past Games:  The Untouchaballs 29 – 4th and Dong 22

Line: The Untouchaballs (-5)


I don’t think I’d have believed you if you told me how well Jeremy Burr has thrown for The Untouchaballs before the season started. It’s not a knock on the D3 QB of the Year candidate, I just had no idea how well he could play QB. Now, UT’s issue was never offense, it was always defense, and they’ve sure figured that out too. They take on a 4th and Dong team that can also score in bunches, but they struggle a little more on the defensive side of things. They’ll need Untouchaballs to have an off day on defense, and I don’t see it happening. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8


#3 The Angels (6-3) vs #6 Last Dance (5-4)

Points For:  Angels 36.13 (1st), LD 35.13 (2nd)

Points Against: Angels 27.50 (6th), LD 27.00 (5th)

TSL Ranking: Angels 14th, LD 24th

Past Games: The Angels 43, Last Dance 28

Line: The Angels (-3)      


The last time these two teams met was early on in the season, and it was a turning point for both teams. The Angels would “figure it out” and rack up win after win in D3. Last Dance struggled with some QB issues and internal issues, but with Matt Newman sitting on the free agent trash heap, they dusted him off and he’s been very good. Last Dance had a very good second half of the season, and they’re only a couple of plays away from a better record. This is the must see battle of the day. LD has the ability to score as much as The Angels do, But they can also get a stop or two. D3 loves having a big upset every season. Here’s this one. LAST DANCE BY 3


#4 Frodo Swaggins (5-2-1) vs #5 Freeballers (5-3)

Points For:  FS 30.25 (5th), FB 25.25 (8th)

Points Against: FS 27.13 (5th), FB 24.88 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: FS 17th, FB 20th

Past Games: DNP

Line: Frodo Swaggins (-2)            


These two teams never played their regular season game, which could’ve shaken up the standings even more had they done so. Both teams had really similar seasons. They struggled to score a good amount, and both had QB issues with injuries or real life getting in the way. Bottom line, I don’t know quite what to expect here. It’s going to be a tight game, but in the end I think Frodo can score slightly more to take this home. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 1



Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Vaspian (5-1)

Itches and Ohs (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Puckett All-Stars (7-1)

Breast Friends (9-1)

Falconies (10-1)

Zack Attack (10-1)


               Yes, it’s that close. All teams are at worst 10-1 odds to win this title. D4 was a blender of good football, and every team on this list should already be proud of the season they’ve had. The Stunts are preparing to go to D3 next season, and want to go out on top. Vaspian wants to show everyone they aren’t a fluke. You know Itches and Ohs want to shut up the haters. Buffalo Vice ran into some issues along the way. Puckett is starting to work their magic. I got some sad news about Breast Friends I don’t love, more on that in a minute. And Falconies and Zack Attack have both won big games this year. Anyone can win this mess, I wouldn’t bet it.



#1 Cunning Stunts (7-2) vs #8 Zack Attack (5-4)

Points For:  CS 39.00 (3rd), ZA 29.56 (7th)

Points Against: CS 29.00 (6th), ZA 26.78 (4th)

TSL Ranking: CS 6th, ZA 23rd

Past Games: Zack Attack 43 – Cunning Stunts 16

Line:  Cunning Stunts (-8)             


The Stunts reclaimed the top seed last week with a big win over the Falconies. They get a Zack Attack team that has been good on the fields and even better at the bar, despite (from what I’m told) is subpar dart play from most of them. The last time these two teams met, ZA blew the Stunts away, but I’m struggling to think that will happen again. Zack Attack had a great showing this season, but it ends here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8


#2 Vaspian (7-2) vs #7 Falconies (5-4)

Points For:  Vaspian 27.56 (9th), Falconies 27.44 (10th)

Points Against: Vaspian 21.44 (1st), Falconies 24.67 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: Vaspian 9th, Falconies 22nd

Past Games: Vaspian 14 – Falconies 9

Line: Vaspian (-3)            


Talk about two teams built the same way. Both teams do not score a ton of points, because they win with defense. D4’s Top two defenses square off in a battle where BOTH teams offenses aren’t even Top 8 in the division. Yikes. Even still, I’d say it’s working for both teams. They’re both considered championship contenders in D4. Vaspian had a resurgence this season, and showed just how deadly they can be when they all are there. QB Brian has made strides this season, and even if the points aren’t always there, the confidence is. The Falconies boast an underrated female crew to go along with solid guys. They can shut down many teams, including Vaspian. The problem is that Vaspian can shut them down even better. VASPIAN BY 3


#3 Buffalo Vice (5-3-1) vs #6 Puckett All-Stars (5-4)

Points For: Vice 33.22 (4th), PAS 30.78 (6th)  

Points Against: Vice 27.78 (4th), PAS 25.44 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: Vice 15th, PAS 19th

Past Games: DNP

Line: EVEN


I’ll never understand how Puckett does this stuff. Seemingly doing nothing, outside of the playoff picture at 1-4, they rattle off 4 straight wins to get into the playoffs on the last day, jump to 6th place, and they look like the favorites to win this game. And you know what? They are. Dan Gonzalez informed me not too long ago that Vice is going to be without D4 Female MVP Candidate Caitlyn Mason this weekend, along with the fact that they’ll be short guys AND they have some injuries. Add in the fact that PAS is working some magic, and things don’t look good for Vice, even if their jerseys do. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 7


#4 Itches and Ohs (5-3-1) vs #5 Breast Friends (5-4)

Points For:  Ohs 42.67 (1st), BFs 40.56 (2nd)

Points Against: Ohs 38.00 (11th), BFs 34.22 (7th)

TSL Ranking: Ohs 16th, BFs 18th

Past Games: Itches and Ohs 36 – Breast Friends 35

Line: Itches and Ohs (-3)


I was going to tell you all that Breast Friends would win the title. They’re on a hot streak and Travis is playing a high level. And then I found out the sad news that Travis won’t be at the fields this weekend. Val is forcing him to go to a wedding he doesn’t care about in another state I guess. Travis considered divorce, but chose to go anyway. Enter Dean Thompson. He’s the handpicked backup QB in case of emergency. The problem is, he didn’t play at all this season. He’s amazing, but he’s rusty. And while he gets to figure things out against one of the worst defenses in TSL history, I can’t imagine he’ll be able to come in cold and keep pace with one of the best offenses in TSL history. Say what you want about Itches, but they can PLAY. ITCHES AND OHS BY 16




The Odds:

Spinelli’s Plumbing (3-2)

Wasted Potential (7-1)

Come From Behind (9-1)

Woodpeckers (12-1)

716 (12-1)

Not So Sticky (25-1)

Lettuce Win (40-1)

TOX (50-1)


               D5 has just been Spinelli’s Playground all year and it’s not even close. Wasted Potential had a very good season, but lost to Spinelli’s twice. Come From Behind had an AWESOME return to the TSL this season. The Woodpeckers are in the right spot in D5 for sure. 716 cooled off from their hot start, but they can still score. Not So Sticky is still here for the beer. Lettuce Win and TOX are also teams.


#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1) vs #8 TOX (1-8)

Points For:  SP 42.22 (1st), TOX 19.00 (8th)

Points Against: SP 29.00 (5th), TOX 35.11 (8th)

TSL Ranking: SP 4th, TOX 49th

Past Games: Spinelli’s 39-TOX 24, Spinelli’s 50 – TOX 42

Line: Spinelli’s Plumbing (-20)    


The line can’t be high enough. Spinelli’s did whatever they wanted this season in D5, and TOX just struggled mightily. Don’t let that 50-42 score fool you, that was all Topper’s doing when he filled in at QB. This is the most lopsided match of the playoffs, and it might not be akin to watching a train hit a deer. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 24


#2 Wasted Potential (6-3) vs #7 Lettuce Win (3-6)

Points For:  WP 29.56 (4th), LW 20.25 (7th)

Points Against: WP 23.67 (2nd), LW 32.00 (7th)

TSL Ranking: WP 12th, LW 40th

Past Games: Wasted Potential 42 – Lettuce Win 20, Wasted Potential 37 – Lettuce Win 6

Line: Wasted Potential (-17)       


Wasted Potential takes on Lettuce Win in the second most lopsided game of the first round. There’s a very big gap between the top of this division and the bottom teams, and we just saw this contest two weeks ago when WP won 37-6. I can’t imagine we don’t see more of the same this week. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 16


#3 Come From Behind (6-3) vs #6 Not So Sticky (4-5)

Points For:  CFB 35.44 (2nd), NSS 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: CFB 20.89 (1st), NSS 26.67 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: CFB 13th, NSS 30th

Past Games: CFB 36 – NSS 6, CFB 40 – NSS 6

Line: CFB (-12)  


The 3rd most lopsided game of the playoffs might just be this one. Come From Behind, riding that rocket arm of Paul Lovullo, made a LOUD comeback to the TSL this season. They’re sporting the top defense in the division, and they may be the only team that can conceivably beat Spinelli’s. What a return to the league. They’re on fire right now, and they take on a Not So Sticky team for the 3rd time in 4 weeks. The first two went rather poorly. I can’t imagine anything going that much better for them. COME FROM BEHIND BY 20


#4 Woodpeckers (4-5) vs #5 716 (4-5)

Points For:  Peckers 23.88 (5th), 716 31.33 (3rd)

Points Against: Peckers 28.50 (4th), 716 30.67 (6th)

TSL Ranking: Peckers 28th, 716 29th

Past Games: Peckers 37 – 716 32, Peckers 23 – 716 20

Line: EVEN


I know that the Peckers took both games during the regular season, but they were CLOSE games. They only won by a score each time. These two teams are very evenly matched and this will be a good game. 716 started hot but as I said before, cooled off. Meanwhile, the Woodpeckers took a few weeks to figure things out and they’ve been playing very well down the stretch. This game is a coin flip, so that’s what I’m going to do. WOODPECKERS BY 1




The Odds:

TMA (2-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (6-1)

Blitzkrieg (7-1)

Victorious Secret (10-1)

Graves Bros (10-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (12-1)


               TMA didn’t dominate this division until they really had do, which was last week in a doubleheader against THK and they just murdered them on the field. THK isn’t a bad team by any stretch, but when I saw those scores I realized TMA hasn’t been ‘meh’, they’ve been on “cruise control”. Well, they slammed the gas pedal last week, and showed everyone why they should’ve gone to D5. THK, until last week, was slaying it on the fields after a rough start, and you can be sure they’ll be focused from here on out. Victorious Secret is having a better season, going 5-4 is pretty great. Still not sure what to think about Graves Bros, its just been an off year. Blitzkrieg has some spicy odds, I know. They’re a little better than you think, and like Ethan told me many months ago, they were going to peak by the playoffs. I think it’s happening. Finally, Lenny’s Ladies have been awesome this season. But getting Joe K back instead of Topper is going to be a downgrade.


Byes: #1 TMA (8-1), #2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-4)


#3 Victorious Secret (5-4) vs #6 Lenny’s Ladies (6-3)

Points For:  VS 31.86 (5th), LL 34.57 (3rd)

Points Against:  VS 35.86 (4th), LL 34.43 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: VS 26th, LL 37th

Past Games: VS 21 – LL 0 (Forfeit), LL 50 – VS 26

Line: Victorious Secret (-3)           


Girl Power reigns supreme as these two gender teams meet in the playoffs. Even if the stats point towards Lenny’s winning this one, having Joe K at QB as opposed to who filled in for the season is a big difference, although the Ladies did beat VS last season with him at QB. Jordan has helped his gender team improve with a better roster and getting some big wins along the way. This one will be a lot of fun. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3


#4 Graves Bros (3-6) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-6)

Points For:  GB 34.71 (2nd), BK 28.67 (6th)

Points Against: GB 40.14 (5th), BK 26.78 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: GB 33rd, BK 34th

Past Games: Graves Bros 40, Blitzkrieg 23

Line: Blitzkrieg (-6)


Despite the result of their one regular season game and the higher seed, I don’t think Graves Bros is better than Blitzkrieg right now. Yes, they were in the beginning of the season when BK was adjusting to new personnel and trying out QBs, but the last few weeks BK has started to really come around. They’ve given most teams fits when they’ve played them, and things seem to be coming together. Meanwhile, Graves hasn’t been themselves. This is a close game, but what it’ll come down to is BK getting a stop or two more than Graves will on defense. That will be the difference. BLITZKRIEG BY 8



1. So then, what are your official predictions? If I had to bet on the champions, I’d choose the following: Public Enemy, Top Shot, The Untouchaballs, Itches and Ohs, Spinelli’s Plumbing, TMA. A lot of chalk, but they all make sense.


2. Who are your surprising, but plausible champions then? Slob Kabombs, Scared Hitless, Last Dance, Puckett All-Stars, Come From Behind, Travis Henry’s Kids


3. Which #1 seeds are most vulnerable? A&A because they play in that tornado division, Grey Hair because I think a few teams are better than they are, and Cunning Stunts because EVERY game in D4 will be a battle and winning 3 games is going to be near impossible.


4. What’s your biggest upset watch? Last Dance, Puckett All Stars, and Zack Attack all have good chances to win this week.


5. Favorite Dark Horses? Scared Hitless and Frodo Swaggins.




1. I know this is playoffs, and you’re super pumped, but please remember to respect the referees and not freak out on them. Keep your heads.


2. Review the Playoff Overtime Rules!!!


3. ANYONE CAUGHT USING ILLEGAL SUBS WILL AUTOMATICALLY FORFEIT. Just don’t do it. It’s much more strict now.


4. I wonder how much the league is going to be affected because of the apparent large contingent of TSLers that are going to Nashville for the Bills game on Monday Night? I know sub requests are at an all-time high.


5. There’s a 70% chance of rain on Saturday as well, allegedly. I can hear the teams with the byes sighing from Iowa.


6. Great work by everyone who helped clean up the fields after the games and to the TSL Board of Directors for doing a great job with no Topper last week.  


7. Prepare for the Winter League! It’s Happening! More info coming soon!


8. Gold Stars are awarded to all of the TSLers that keep helping out and referring. I know Topper really appreciates it!


9. Remember, the bar is getting remodeled this week, but the patio and bathrooms will still be open for you guys! The menu will be different though, prepare accordingly.


10.  With the potential for games to go into OT, PLEASE be on time for your games. We’ll be starting with or without you so we prevent running extremely late.


And with that, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on!


Good luck to all the teams out there, and make SURE you email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to inform me on how you did.



Week 8 thoughts, picks, advice and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 08 October 2021 11:55
Published: Friday, 08 October 2021 11:55
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 16


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, in the blink of an eye, the TSL Fall 2021 season has reached its final week. In one week, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality will begin its final stages when the playoffs begin. But before that, we must get through Week 8.


I say “get through” because by all accounts, this isn’t going to be the most interesting week for the league. Topper has informed me that its “Fall Fest” weekend in Ellicottville, which historically has meant lots of teams forfeiting (like HE did, I may add), skeleton crews, lots of subs, and you can’t really get a handle on the games. There’s a lot of unknowns for the games this week. Other than some playoff positioning, D1, D2, D5, and D6 have their playoff participants: Everyone. D3 already knows who will miss out, as Super Freaks and Show Me Dem TDs are eliminated from contention. That leaves D4, which while seeds 1-5 aren’t even close to decided, we already know that the fake Titsburgh Feelers aren’t making the playoffs, which leaves 3 teams left to miss. Today’s Feast is on track to be one of them, and the current 8 seed, Practice Squad, plays the Titsburgh Replacement Team. We can get into the details more in a bit.


But first! Last week I asked the readers to send in some questions for a Godfather “mailbag” of sorts, and I got a decent amount. Thank you to those who sent things in, hopefully we can get some more in the future. Time to open up the mail and see what we have:


“Why the photo of Drew last week with no mention of him in the article?”


Well, that’s because he does nothing worth speaking about. However, the correct answer is to blame Topper. A week or two ago, after I sent in my article, he informed me that he figured out how to add images to the articles. That image of Drew was all his doing.


“What’s the best current or historic rivalry in the TSL?”


Green and Associates vs everyone was always a good one. Garbacz vs Making The Correct Call has always been a battle. The Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown rivalry used to burn white hot a few seasons ago, until everyone got a little older and it’s calmed down a bit now. But of course the greatest rivalry we’ve ever had in the TSL is Rameer vs B’s Brother.


"Frank from the Wanderers was busy challenging Public Enemy to a match to see who the best team is. He claims they would win a Best of 7 series in 5 games"  How do you imagine this series going?  Smart money is on Public Enemy of course, but do the Wanderers win a game?  Two?  How does this series play out, in the eyes of the Godfather?”


I get that it’s a bit of a ‘homer’ call, but with all due respect to what the Wanderers have done in the minor leagues, they wouldn’t hold a candle to Public Enemy. This question comes up from time to time, and I always equate it to when people talk about how Alabama could beat the worst NFL team every season. It’s a fun thought, but in reality, the Jacksonville Jaguars (or Detroit Lions) would stomp Alabama. That’s the same idea here. Now imagine Alabama having to take on the Buccaneers, Bills, etc. Alabama is a glorious school, they consistently beat down 90% of the teams they play, occasionally they gut out an unexpected close one, and they win lots of championships. There’s nothing wrong with being Alabama. It’s a 4-0 sweep for Public Enemy. The Wanderers would make a hell of a D3 team though.


“Have you been watching Marvel's "What If?" series?  If not, the premise is that a character called The Watcher sits unseen off to the edge of the multiverse and watches various different realities play out, but he is sworn to not interfere in any of the events of these worlds.  Is the Godfather essentially "the Watcher" of the TSL, and if so, what scenario would prompt him to break his oath and interfere in our League?  I'm thinking Topper and Darryl Carr against all odds meet in a D1 championship game, and the Godfather steps in to ref.”



This is a good one. I have no idea what you’re talking about with this Marvel stuff. The GF enjoys nice nights on my back porch in Iowa with a glass of bourbon and a cigar to wind down. Not watching TV. And further more, I’m not even the “watcher” of the TSL. That’s The Sentinel. I haven’t even seen a game this season, as ashamed as I am to admit it. But I understand what you’re asking. The truth is, there’s next to nothing I’d do to reveal myself. It would take one of two things: Lenny coming to me as a ghost in real life and tell me its something I “Totally” should do. Or, the TSL is officially playing its last season/games ever, with no way of the league still existing somehow. And I don’t think that would ever happen, as I’m sure there are MANY members of this league that would keep it going in some form.



“Following the Marvel theme above, which TSL athlete would you trust the most with a full Infinity Gauntlet?  Who would you trust the least?”


There’s zero reason that you wouldn’t give that to Matty Ice. There is nobody else in the TSL that truly understands its power, and the ins and outs of everything. He the most prepared for such a responsibility. The least is easily Joey Batts. The TSL’s greatest bad guy with ultimate power? No, I’m okay with that never happening.


“There are good teams and there are bad teams... and then there are teams that are just 100% in the wrong division.  Any teams you feel would have benefited from moving up or down this session?  Ignore Titsburgh Feelers for this.”


I’ve gone on record by saying TOX is in the wrong spot since Day 1. Lettuce Win needed to move down as well. I’ve given TMA grief as well about moving up. Topper should’ve let Super Freaks hang out in D4. Bullet Club may have needed to go to D3. These are the obvious ones though. The slightly spicier ones are Spinelli’s jumping right into D4, the Stunts to D3 (to give us that Angels-Stunts battle we miss every season), and I have no idea what reason Show Me Dem TDs had for jumping up to D3 when D4 was the move for them.


“How has the TSL changed over the years that you've been watching?  For better or worse?”


Well, for worse it’s because I’m not there playing like I used to be. And of course the losses of Lenny and Rameer still ripple through the league. But I can’t say anything its better or worse per se. It’s definitely different. Gone are the all night drinking bashes with most of the league sticking around, with bras hanging in the bar, and people hooking up all over the place. No, that crowd grew up a bit, started getting married and having kids (sometimes due TO the crazy nights), and the world itself is in a different place than it was 10 years ago. The TSL still has fun nights, but I roll my eyes when I get a text about how people stayed “late” at the bar and then say they stayed until 11pm. It isn’t quite how it used to be, but that’s not a bad thing, its just different.


“Who is on the TSL all-time Mount Rushmore?  Exclude Topper, Lenny and Rameer for sake of argument.”



With all due respect to the newer members of the TSL, a “Mount Rushmore” of the TSL needs people who were around for a long, long time. I read this question and the following names popped into my head: B’s Brother, of course. Chris Cole, Both Tommy Hugheses, Dave Walter, Darryl Carr, Darryl Carr’s Hair,  Leslie Cook, Molly McDermid, Dorene Major, Val Bernal. I’m not going to pick just 4, because that feels damn near impossible.



And that does it for the reader questions. Thanks to everyone who sent some in, it was fun. But now we’ll get to what you’re really here for:





Last Week’s Games:


Public Enemy 42, Losing Streak 30

Sticky Bandits 21, Slob Kabombs 0 (Forfeit)

Eyes Downtown 44, Tight Ends 34

Eyes Downtown 36, Slob Kabombs 35

Losing Streak 30, Tight Ends 20



               The longest championship hangover in TSL history continues as Tight Ends In Motion doesn’t look anywhere close to the team that dominated for the last half of the season. Multiple reports suggest QB Bro looks like he forgot how to throw a football, and the team is in disarray. Apparently Dave Baker sold his soul to the devil for that one title, and this is what we’re getting now. Losing Streak came back very strong, hanging with Public Enemy before beating up on TEIM. Slob Kabombs blow a chance to move up in the standings, forgetting their game against Sticky and then letting a win against Eyes Downtown slip away. ED, mind you, keeps winning, and finds themselves in 2nd place.


What’s At Stake This Week: Everyone makes playoffs, so there aren’t elimination games. Public Enemy hasn’t really clinched 1st overall, but they have clinched a bye week. Eyes Downtown sit in 2nd place with two losses, so if they win they also get a bye. However, that will be tough against PE and Slob Kabombs (if they don’t forfeit). Tight Ends shouldn’t fall below 3rd place, but a game against Losing Streak, who they’re 0-2 against looms. If they win, and ED loses their two games (not out of the question) the not so great champions could sneak in a bye. I guess there’s a slight chance Slob Kabombs wins both of their games, TEIM loses, and they move up to 3rd. Losing Streak could jump Sticky or Slob if they win and one of those two teams goes 0-2. It doesn’t matter though. Any game in the playoffs in D1 is going to be tough, and seeding doesn’t matter much. Any team can win these first round games.


This Week’s Games:


Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (Even) – I don’t care, it’s a even game. Losing Streak had one hiccup and everyone jumped right down their throats. They played well last week, and they’ve played well all season. There’s no reason to think they can’t beat TEIM again. LOSING STREAK BY 6


Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – It’s a matchup of two 2-5 teams, sure, but SK has been playing really well recently. Well, better than Sticky who haven’t even had close matchups the last few weeks. If anyone can figure it out though, its them. STICKY BANDITS BY 3


Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+7) – IT’S ON! Well, is it? Not really, but I’m defaulted to saying that based on the last few years. PE has had Bobby’s number for a bit, and with a potential undefeated season on the line, expect them to play hard. However, there is nothing ED would like more than to not only ruin the perfect season, but to also clinch a bye doing it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8


Public Enemy vs Sticky Bandits (+12) – Yikes. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 10


Eyes Downtown vs Slob Kabombs (+1) – The 2nd game for these teams and based on what happens in the games before them, it might not matter what the outcome is when they meet at 3:00. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4





Last Week’s Games:


A&A 49, Bullet Club 16

Top Shot 27, Notorious BNB 13

Scared Hitless 40, Passed Our Prime 35

XTC 42, When Dove Cries 22


               A&A just ran through Bullet Club who apparently pulled Jeff Easton out of the mothballs in whatever storage locker they keep him in to play this week. Top Shot played a nice, easy game against BNB and they weren’t caught “looking ahead” for the rematch against A&A this week. Scared Hitless continued their winning ways, and they were so impressive that it spurred JONNY F’N FOOTBALL to email me and make sure I tell the entire TSL universe that he’s 7-2 this season (he played twice for Eyes Downtown) and that “Top Shot  is the best competition in our division and I’m not worried about Matty Ice or A&A in the playoffs”. There’s some bulletin board material for you. XTC beat up When Dove Cries pretty nicely, and they find themselves 3-1 in the second half of the season. Not too bad.


What’s At Stake This Week: Seeding, again. Everyone makes playoffs, and the only seed that is really set is Bullet Club at #8. Top Shot takes on A&A in a match that if Top Shot wins, they could end up as the #1 seed, depending on how much they win by. If they win by 12, they take the top spot. Head to Head would be 1-1, so it goes to Point Differential. Scared Hitless is already getting a win against WDC by forfeit (see: Fall Fest). They finish 7-2 and they’ll be the 3rd seed. WDC ends up 4-5 and they’ll end up in the #4-#5 matchup next week. If XTC loses to BNB, and POP beats BC, we’ll have a three way 3-6 tie that I’m not going to even try to figure out.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs Top Shot (+3) – Game of the Day, look for Top Shot to stake their claim as the D2 favorites. TOP SHOT BY 6


XTC vs Notorious BNB (+3) – XTC is on a roll right now, and if they had some better luck early on in the season, they could easily be 6-2 right now. I wouldn’t sleep on them. BNB has been rough after some early successes. XTC BY 8


Passed Our Prime vs Bullet Club (+8) – Both teams struggle with players showing up, so it might be a race to just see who can field a team this week. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 4





Last Week’s Games:

Last Dance 50, Frodo Swaggins 29

Frodo Swaggins 30, Cobblestone 16

The Angels 45, Cobblestone 30

Grey Hair 27, Show Me Dem TDs 14

Freeballers 22, 4th and Dong 14

The Angels 48, Freeballers 23

The Untouchaballs 40, Super Freaks 27


               Not too surprising here. Grey Hair continues their great season, picking off SMDTDs. Last Dance gets a big win over Frodo, who then went out and beat Cobblestone. Cobblestone went 0-2 on the day because they ran into The Angels, who are one of the hottest teams in the league. I meant in football terms, perverts. They’re the highest scoring team in the division. Good luck, everyone else. Untouchaballs did what they were supposed to do and beat Super Freaks, and the Freeballers went 1-1 with a nice win over 4th and Dong, but got beat up a little bit by the Angels.


What’s At Stake This Week: Positioning, and lots of it. Super Freaks and Show Me Dem TDs are already eliminated from postseason contention. Even if SMDTDs beat Frodo, and Cobblestone and/or Last Dance also when 3-6, they would lose the tiebreakers in any scenario. Grey Hair gets a reeling Cobblestone, and a win surely sets up a rematch for next week. Last Dance gets Super Freaks early on, and then a big game against The Untouchaballs later in the day. However I’m not too sure LD can climb too high in the standings. Untouchaballs could, with wins over LD and Freeballers. The Angels get 4th and Dong in your typical “really hot team vs really cold team” matchup. The Freeballers apparently aren’t playing all of their games this season, as they’ll only have 8, as will Frodo. Not sure who gets the forfeit win here, but it could mean the different between playing the other OR playing 4th and Dong. More than likely the Top 2 remain the same, but after that who knows?


This Week’s Games:


Last Dance vs Super Freaks (+7) – The Super Freaks can run for the bus here and look forward, I hope, to happier times in D4 next session. LAST DANCE BY 8


Grey Hair vs Cobblestone (+9) – Grey Hair vs Darryl’s hair. GHDC is just so hot right now. GREY HAIR BY 7


Frodo Swaggins vs Show Me Dem TDs (+10) -  Even without Garrett (get well soon bud), this team can still score. SMDTDs are just running for the bus. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 12


The Untouchaballs vs Last Dance (+7) – Last Dance can score, and they HAVE been scoring. Untouchaballs have been good all season, but with Newman firmly entrenched as LD’s starter after Ricky bailed on them, they’ve looked good. Give me the mild upset. LAST DANCE BY 2


The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+1) – Both teams play excellent defense. But I’m starting to get worried about the Freeballers’ anemic offense. They struggle to score. Burr doesn’t. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8


The Angels vs 4th And Dong (+13) – This is like watching a deer get stuck in some train tracks, and then you hear the whistle blowing. Everyone likes the deer. It’s a nice animal, everyone thinks its cute and enjoys it. But everyone will watch in horror as there’s nothing they can do to help it. THE ANGELS BY 20




Last Week’s Games:


Breast Friends 45, Cunning Stunts 43

Puckett All-Stars 28, Today’s Feast 22

Cunning Stunts 42, Team Boccio 22

Vaspian 32, Breast Friends 24

Gucci 41, Practice Squad 27

Zack Attack 34, Itches and Ohs 33

Falconies 43, Buffalo Vice 27


               Look out Joey Batts, there’s a new sheriff in town and his name is Travis Cleavenger-Bernal. TCB lead his girls to a big win over Joey and the Stunts in what I was told was a great game. Puckett got a much needed win over Today’s Feast as they prepare to make a playoff push this week. Gucci is doing the same after a big win over Practice Squad kept hope alive. Zack Attack and Itches and Ohs had a very close battle in what may very well end up being a first round matchup. The Falconies took out Buffalo Vice with surprising ease, and Vaspian stayed very hot with another win over the Breast Friends.


What’s At Stake This Week: Everything! Kind of! Okay, we know that Today’s Feast and Titsburgh are eliminated. If Gucci beats Puckett, and then Puckett loses it’s other game against the Falconies AND Practice Squad loses to the Replacement Team for this week for Titsburgh, we’ll have a 3 way-tie at 3-6 for the last playoff spot in the division. THE DRAMA! Just about every game has some sort of crazy positioning affect, so even trying to spell it all out is a fool’s errand. No, it’s easier to just sit back and watch this.


This Week’s Games:



Breast Friends vs Buffalo Vice (+2) – BF can’t pass Vice with a win here, but they can set up a potential rematch with them in round 1 next week. Vice is still healing up after some injuries, so they may not push it. BREAST FRIENDS BY 8


Practice Squad vs Titsburgh Feelers Replacement Squad – Can’t really predict a game when I know nothing about the team that will show up. Public Enemy plays at the same time, so Boccio won’t be QB.


Puckett All-Stars vs Gucci (+8) – Both teams need this game to get into the playoffs, but while Gucci would be living on a prayer to get it, Puckett knows they can get in with two wins. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12


Itches and Oh’s vs Today’s Feast (+16) – Today’s Feast will more than likely score more points than they ever have before in the TSL. But they won’t be close to stopping Steve Moser and company this week. ITCHES AND OHS BY 20.


Falconies vs Puckett All-Stars (+8) – What a call for the Falconies. If they watch Puckett win just before this game happens, they have to make a choice on if they want to lose this game on purpose to eliminate Practice Squad from the playoffs (and thus allow Puckett, an easier team to play against, in) and worry about the future, or do they go hard and risk injury in a game that doesn’t really mean much to them. Interesting. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3


Vaspian vs Zack Attack (+6) – Zack Attack is just going to struggle to score against a suffocating Vaspian defense. VASPIAN BY 8


Falconies vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) – D4 closes with a hell of a matchup between two of the 7 title contenders for D4. If Falconies can slow down the Stunts even a little bit, they can pull this off. Spoilers: they won’t. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14




Last Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing 40, Wasted Potential 30

Spinelli’s Plumbing 50, TOX 42

Wasted Potential 37, Lettuce Win 6

Come From Behind 40, Not So Sticky 6

Woodpeckers 23, 716 20


               Yeah, Spinelli’s, you’re great, we know. Spinelli’s ends the season 8-1, scoring 380 points. Wasted Potential will end up the #2 seed after beating Lettuce Win. The worst they can do is tie, but they own the tiebreakers. Come From Behind continues their assault on D5, taking out Not So Sticky in the process. And the Woodpeckers sneak out a close one in a very good game against 716.


What’s At Stake This Week: Everyone makes the playoffs here too. TOX is locked into the 8 seed, but they’re going to get a win this week as Lettuce Win let them win in a forfeit. As a result Lettuce Win is locked into the 7 seed. As we said before, Spinelli’s is the 1 seed, and Wasted Potential is the 2 seed, so there’s some of your matchups. I think Lettuce Win may also forfeit to Woodpeckers from an unplayed game in Week 1, so Woodpeckers vs Come From Behind may be for 3rd place. If Woodpeckers have to forfeit that game (depends on who postponed it and why), they beat CFB, and then 716 beats Not So Sticky, we’ll have a 3 way tie for 3rd which is interesting. Whoever comes out of that would play NSS, while the other two play each other. What’s also fun is that NSS can beat 716 and move up as well. So there’s a lot to decide in the middle of the division, and a bunch depends on that unplayed game’s result.


This Week’s Games:


Come From Behind vs Woodpeckers (+7) – We saw this matchup a couple of weeks ago, with CFB winning 38-26. My biggest concern for the Peckers is keeping up with CFB offensively, and honestly, they just can’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 9


716 vs Not So Sticky (+6) – NSS really hasn’t found their footing offensively, which is their biggest issue. They more than likely won’t be able to keep up with 716’s offense. 716 by 6





Last Week’s Games:

Travis Henry’s Kids 59, Graves Bros 36

Blitzkrieg 28, TMA 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 37, Lenny’s Ladies 32

Lenny’s Ladies 50, Victorious Secret 26


               Travis Henry’s Kids goes 2-0 to continue their incredible hot streak this season. In turn, Graves Bros continues quite the cold streak. Lenny’s Ladies goes 1-1 winning their gender team matchup this week, and it seems Katie Swanson was balling out, according to the Sentinel. The big news, of course, is Blitzkrieg dominating TMA and handing them their first loss as QB Ryan Henery had an apparent tough day at the office for TMA.


What’s At Stake This Week: Well, seeding of course. All 6 teams are in the playoffs. But a very fun and interesting wrinkle is that TMA and THK face off in a double header this week that, if they win twice, THK can win the #1 overall seed. But that’s not all! Victorious Secret plays two very winnable games against Blitzkrieg and Graves Bros that could potentially vault them over TMA to grab the other bye! Nobody is locked into any seed currently, and the results of every game this week will matter for D6.


This Week’s Games:


Travis Henry’s Kids vs TMA (EVEN) – I’ll do both games here, but while TMA has been just barely getting by most of the time, THK has been COOKING on the fields. John Langley has lead his offense to damn near 100 points more than TMA, and Pete Walbrandt is an under the radar D6 MVP candidate. I know THK will win one of these games, but will it be two? I wouldn’t bet on it. THE TEAMS SPLIT THEIR TWO GAMES.


Lenny’s Ladies vs Graves Bros (EVEN) – It’s tough not knowing which special guest star QB will appear for the Ladies every week, but it may not matter based on how cursed Graves Bros has been. Their defense has been “not good” and that’s been their biggest issue. They’ll need to step it up to take this home. LENNY’S LADIES BY 8


Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+7) – Blitzkrieg is still figuring out their offense, but no matter who is in, they like throwing the deep ball. VS has had some issues covering that, and it’ll depend on which personnel shows up for Jordan this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 3


Victorious Secret vs Graves Bros (+8) – I can’t imagine Jordan losing two games in D6. Graves doesn’t have the girls to keep up with a gender team unless a lot of things go right for them, and VS doesn’t make many mistakes. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 12



1. Who will be there? With Fall Fest, weddings, and a lot games being relatively meaningless we will see a good chunk of the TSL missing. Historically, as I said earlier, this is a big week for low TSL attendance, ranking right behind Memorial Day weekend for “lowest turnout of the year”.


2. How do we fix a relatively boring final week? Boring in terms of playoff drama. Honestly, there is no reason there aren’t more teams missing the playoffs. I know that isn’t as fun, and we’d rather have more teams there for another week, but at this point the league would be better with Top Shot and A&A in D1 (8 teams), Grey Hair and Last Dance (they’re a really good team with Newman) in D2 (8 teams), Cunning Stunts and Buffalo Vice in D3 (10 teams), Spinelli’s and Wasted Potential in D4 (12 teams), And then you make a “super D5” with Come From Behind, Woodpeckers, 716, Not So Sticky, Lettuce Win, TOX, TMA, THK, Victorious Secret, Lenny’s Ladies, Graves Bros, and Blitzkrieg (12 teams). Sure D1 and D2 would be “everyone makes playoffs”, but the other divisions will all have stakes. None of this will matter in the spring when teams change and we usually have more teams, but this is all fun hindsight.


3. What’s really wrong with Tight Ends In Motion? You rarely see a D1 champion struggle so mightily after being quite dominant. Between Bro’s struggles at QB, poor scheduling snafus, and people just not showing up, they’re having the Season From Hell for sure.


4. Do you see any “slam dunk” champions yet? I think a lot of the divisions are up for grabs. D1 you can never trust to go chalk, and I know I don’t need to explain how crazy D2 always gets. D3 has 5 realistic title contenders. D4 has 7. D6 isn’t really a slam dunk either. D5 is. I can’t imagine anyone beating Spinelli’s there.


5. Who has the most to lose this weekend? A&A. It sounds crazy, but I don’t think they want to be losing that #1 seed to Top Shot. Rumor has it they’ll be shorthanded for Week 1 of the playoffs, so the difference between playing Bullet Club or playing one of Notorious BNB or Passed Our Prime is pretty huge.




1. If you ARE going to Fall Fest, please be safe and careful. There’s no reason to get in trouble with the law.


2. Thanks again to those of you that have sent me questions and emails as of late. It always helps me write this thing from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. I enjoy talking with you guys. As always, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to hype up your team or talk smack about others.


3. Top games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Last Dance vs Super Freaks

               10:00 – A&A vs Top Shot

               11:00 – TMA vs Travis Henry’s Kids

               12:00 – Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown

               1:00 – XTC vs The Notorious BNB

               2:00 – The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers

               3:00 – Falconies vs Cunning Stunts


4. Lots of people have been coming out of the woodwork to help Coach Jay and the referee situation. Thank you to everyone that’s pitching in, you’re making Topper very happy.


5. Speaking of Topper, he isn’t going to be at the fields at all this weekend. The JKSL will once again be in full swing, and you can see Joe K, Jeff Krol, Travis, Coach Jay, Emily Curry, and Val for any and all of your issues that come your way.


6. There’s about a 40% chance of rain on Saturday, and it’ll be 70 degrees. Should be a blast if the rain holds off.


7. The often imitated but never duplicated Topper Sports League will be officially starting its winter indoor league on January 8th.


8. No details yet from Topper on the banquet, but I have a feeling it’ll be a big one since we missed last year.


9. If you can think of a way to improve the TSL, don’t be shy. Approach Topper, or better yet anyone else I’ve mentioned in #5 with your ideas. It’s your league too, you can be a part of it.


10. We really could use another Paul Scinta Cheese Day. I don’t think anyone would complain. Shout out to Paul for being a swell guy.


Well TSL, we’re at the last Saturday of regular season football at the Rose Garden for about 6 months. Make sure you make it count. Good luck this week!



Week 6 Thoughts, Picks, and Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 24 September 2021 15:45
Published: Friday, 24 September 2021 15:45
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 26



Ladies and Gentlemen and Joey Batts’ of the TSL Universe, we’ve made it all the way to Week 6 of TSL Fall 2021 season!


Historically, this means everyone has played over half their allotted games for the season, and with ladder matches and positioning rounds staring us in the face, things are starting to get real. In this weird season, at least scheduling wise, most teams have played 5 or more games, while some others – Eyes Downtown, Sticky Bandits, Freeballers, Frodo Swaggins, Titsburgh Feelers (Um, nevermind here), Woodpeckers, Lenny’s Ladies, and Travis Henry’s Kids have only hit 4 games played and they need to get moving. Hell, somehow, Victorious Secret only played 3 games so far!


But that’s too bad. Because one of my favorite gimmicks every season is the “midway point” Pretenders and Contenders article, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get today. It’s at this point that teams need that wake up call from The Godfather to let them know that “Hey, maybe you’re not as good as you think” or more likely than not “Hey, stop sucking and get your crap together.”


As usual, the only person who knows anything about this league is me, so I’ll gladly let you all in on what’s happening during the most current version of the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality.




Last Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits 43, Losing Streak 42

Public Enemy 29, Tight Ends In Motion 22

Slob Kabombs 48, Losing Streak 38

Eyes Downtown 36, Sticky Bandits 17

Public Enemy 47, Eyes Downtown 14


The Contenders With A Chip On Their Shoulder:

Public Enemy (5-0)


The Contenders In A “Championship Hangover”:

Tight Ends In Motion (3-2)


The Slightly Less Than Contenders But Pretenders Doesn’t Feel Right For Them:

Eyes Downtown (2-2)

Slob Kabombs (2-3)

Sticky Bandits (1-3)

Losing Streak (1-4)


Yes, this is a complete cop-out, but the truth is this: Public Enemy is on the warpath, and they’re obliterating D1 before our very eyes. This is a collection of talented football playing individuals, led by #1 TSL Wide Receiver In 2019 Maybe Mike Boccio, that are looking to send the old man out on a high note. We haven’t seen PE be this focused since we lost Lenny, and that ended in a championship as well. Tight Ends has the best chance to stop PE’s goals, I mean, they ARE the defending champs don’t forget, but they feel like they’re missing that edge this season that they had last year. It’s a lot harder to rally the troops when you don’t blow a big lead in the title game than when you do. Mix in some attendance issues all season, and you get this watered down TEIM that I expect will be a better version of itself come playoff time. As for “the rest”, I refuse to say any of these teams can’t shock the world and pull an upset on anyone above them. Eyes Downtown has a classic veteran QB in Bobby McConnell and its hard to ignore incredibly tall and handsome Jordan Neidig on his side of the field. Slob Kabombs may actually be better than everyone thinks, now that their team is showing up. Andy Smierga (I can’t believe this is an actual last name for someone, it looks like a game of Boggle where you have to figure out his actual real name from the letters given to you.) and Ben Stack are forming quite the duo for QB Seth to throw to. Their girls are also really talented too, so given 4 more games to get on the same page, damage can be done. Sticky Bandits might be 1-3, but other than the walloping given to them last Saturday by ED, they’ve literally lost their other two games on the last play. There’s a world where they’re 3-1 and everyone is touting them as the best team to knock off PE. Let’s not forget they’re still working in Drew Colosimo and Adrian Cannon to a roster that’s played together for 7 decades otherwise. Just like we saw in the playoffs last season, after Dean Thompson and Kevin Zack got comfortable in the system, the team really took off. Look for the same here. Finally, Losing Streak is 1-4, I get that. But they only have a -10 point differential. They’ve been in every game they’ve played in so far, with one score losses to ED, PE, Sticky, and the Kabombs. They have 4 more games to finish adjusting to the D1 speed of things, and with their talent, seeing them pull an ‘upset’ isn’t out of the question either.


So there you have it. D1 is in a good place, with a really exciting future. That feels weird to say, but here we are.


This Week’s Games:


Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+2) – It just feels fitting to give Sticky a line where it comes down to a made conversion or not. Sticky turns the corner. STICKY BANDITS BY 1


Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak (+6) – When these teams met, it was a 6 point win for ED in quite the barnburner. Losing Streak has made strides since then, whereas I’m not sure ED has. LOSING STREAK BY 4


Public Enemy vs Sticky Bandits (+10) – Last Week Sticky played a game, then hung around for a few hours and played again. They got killed in the second game. This isn’t going to be any better. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 13





Last Week’s Games:

The Notorious BNB 29, Bullet Club 28

When Dove Cries 37, XTC 22

A&A 49, Scared Hitless 34

Top Shot 33, Scared Hitless 32

Top Shot 37, Passed Our Prime 30


The Contenders:

A&A (6-0)

Top Shot (5-1)


The “Almost Theres”:

Scared Hitless (4-2)

When Dove Cries (3-2)


The “We’ve Got Some Shit To Figure Outs”:

The Notorious BNB (2-4)

Passed Our Prime (2-3)


The “You Sleep On Us Every Season When We Do Poorly In The Regular Season But Everyone Makes The Playoffs So Once Our Entire Roster Shows Up For That Game We End Up With A ‘Shocking’ Upsets”:

XTC (1-5)

Bullet Club (0-6)


              D2 is its usual annoying to predict self. A&A is absolutely rolling this season, and they’re one of the best teams in the league. Matty Ice isn’t nursing an “almost torn” Achillies anymore, I maybe accidentally fired up Margo and the rest of the girls, and the wide receivers average 6’7 which includes Travis Cleavenger-Bernal in that figure. Matty is talking smack, comparing himself to Aaron Rodgers, and all just seems right with the TSL. Which means the only thing left is for A&A to blow it in the playoffs (Seriously, when was the last time Matty actually won a title that the Angels didn’t carry him to? Maybe he really IS the TSL’s Aaron Rodgers.). Top Shot is hungry, and they’ve been playing excellent ball since moving to D2. They boast a complete monster in Sean Weisansal, and Dylan Jaloza just keeps getting better. Yes, I know they have a great supporting cast too. They got a little cocky playing A&A last time, poked the bear a little too hard, and got beat because of it. They learned from that mistake and I don’t think they’ll be doing that next time these two meet. Scared Hitless is a real nice feel good story, but after this past weekend, they see that they’re just outside of the championship picture. They played A&A and Top Shot and walked out 0-2. Granted, the Top Shot game was close, so they have that to hold on to as they go over ‘what went wrong’ this last Saturday. When Dove Cries has incredible talent that just needs Topper to get them the ball. He’s been able to do that more often than not, which is why they’re 3-2, and they boast the best defense in the division. There’s no reason to think they can’t compete for the title. The Notorious BNB sit at 2-4, and it seems like their record is mostly based off of roster issues. I know that they’ve had backup QBs play, or Dave Baker has missed games for them. Their -53 point differential is very telling however, and perhaps those missing pieces aren’t going to be enough to fix what ails them. Passed Our Prime still scores a whole bunch, but they would struggle to stop a .500 little loop team on defense. If they can figure that part out, they’ll be killing it. XTC and Bullet Club bring up the rear and it feels like the same old story. “So and so wasn’t there”, “we were a play away from winning”, etc. It feels like I’ve written the same things about them in this article for the last 10 seasons, leave them for dead, and then they shock the world. So I guess we’ll see how this season goes.


This Week’s Games:


When Dove Cries vs Passed Our Prime (+7) – The top D in the division takes on the Top O. I really hope both sides have everyone. Look for WDC to get a couple of stops. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 8


A&A vs Bullet Club (+13) – Matty talked a lot of QB smack on the podcast this week, so in his mind this is Aaron Rodgers vs Jameis Winston. 6-0 meets 0-6. Right now, A&A is just rolling, and I don’t think BC has a chance. A&A BY 17


The Notorious BNB vs XTC (+8) – BNB doesn’t look to have any roster.game conflicts, so perhaps we’ll get to see them at full strength this time around. BNB BY 12


Top Shot vs When Dove Cries (+3) – This should be a sneaky good game, but look for Top Shot to walk away with the win. TOP SHOT BY 3


Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+4) – Hogan, furious over losing earlier, will do his best to try to score 50 points this game. Scared Hitless, furious over getting roasted last week, will their best to stop him. SCARED HITLESS BACK ON TRACK BY 2





Last Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins 31, Grey Hair 22

Show Me Dem TDs 49, 4th And Dong 40

The Angels 45, Super Freaks 16


The Contenders:

4th And Dong (3-1-1)

Frodo Swaggins (2-1-1)

The Untouchaballs (3-2)

Grey Hair (3-2)

The Angels (3-2)

Freeballers (3-1)


The Pretenders:

Cobblestone (3-2)

Last Dance (2-3)

Show Me Dem TDs (2-4)


Super Freaks:

Super Freaks (0-6)


              I don’t mean any true offense to the Super Freaks, but its quite obvious they’re in the wrong division. They’re a leading candidate for the Vaspian Award for “Team that will thrive when they move to the right division”. Let’s just get through the Pretenders first. Yes, Show Me Dem TDs just beat 4th and Dong. But other than that slightly shocking result that then entire TSL is like “how did THAT happen?”, the other games show the better story where they have the talent but its not there just yet. Last Dance made the finals last season but this year feels like the magic isn’t there. I know they’ve had QB issues, and that never leads you to a happy season. Reports of in-fighting doesn’t make anything better either. Cobblestone has been very good this season, but they’re just simply better when Garrett QBs for them than Darryl. Don’t get me wrong, its not Darryl’s fault AT ALL. The problem is that Darryl Carr QB Superstar’s offense is just too complex for the small brained members of the team, and they just mesh well with the TSL’s favorite burnout Beesing’s dumbed down offense. To clarify: Darryl is great and his team just lets him down for not being on his level, which isn’t their fault. Anyway, despite a hiccup last week, 4th and Dong has a highpowered offense that will help them make a title run. But the world wouldn’t be complete without Scotty vs Garrett, and Frodo Swaggins is right there yet again (this looks better if they’ve played more than 4 games and were like 4-1-1 instead, I know) to stand in their way. I still don’t know what the Freeballers are this season yet, as a QB switch combined with a small body of work (there’s a Trish joke in there somewhere) means we don’t know how their next 5 games will look. Grey Hair added a lot of firepower, but for some reason they feel less dangerous than they have in the past. How is that possible? It could be just a scenario where they need to get on the same page (I was told, for instance, that Molly Morgan-Santo and Corey Santo-Morgan just recently started showing up, being selfish for doing things like “going on a honeymoon”, and honestly adding Mike Rawdin isn’t helpful as he’s one of the TSL’s most overrated players. That last line wasn’t true, but I’m 99% sure he reads this article, and I wanted to get him fired up. I know it worked.) and some more time together will get them there. They’re pretty much TBD at this point. The Untouchaballs are going to win GMs of the Year for getting “D3 QB of the Year” candidate Jeremy Burr this season. The team has taken the step to the next level because of it. I don’t know for sure if they’re going to win the title, but they’re 100% a contender for it. Which leaves us with The Angels. To quote Happy Gilmore: “Happy learned how to putt. Uh-oh.”. The Angels weren’t themselves last season as they adjusted to D3 AND adjusted to QBs that weren’t Matty. However, The Angels, (now with more Lindsey!) are figuring out the D3 game, and have the QB stability needed. They’re on their way to being the Angels we know and love (or despise), and they’re going to have a say in the D3 title.


This Week’s Games:


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Last Dance (+7) – This is a matchup of two teams trying to get on track for the rest of the season. If Last Dance has a QB, look for them to get a mild surprise win here. LAST DANCE BY 3


4th and Dong vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+5) – Not a lovely day for GHDC, I feel bad giving them two losses, but after 4th and Dong couldn’t even come close to scoring the “over” last week, they’re going to be more focused on the win. 4TH AND DONG BY 8


4th and Dong vs The Untouchaballs (+1) – Both teams can score, but one of these teams can actually play defense. And its not the Dongers. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 14


Frodo Swaggins vs Super Freaks (+17) – Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em. FRODO BY 14


Cobblestone vs Freeballers (EVEN) – This is a pretty damn good matchup. I’m really excited to see who pulls this one out. COBBLESTONE BY 1.




Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 41, Today’s Feast 14

Vaspian 24, Practice Squad 15

Vaspian 44, Breast Friends 39

Falconies 27, GUCCI 17

Zack Attack 43, Cunning Stunts 16

Itches and Ohs 38, Puckett All-Stars 23


The Contenders:

Buffalo Vice (4-0-1)

Itches and Ohs (4-1-1)

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Falconies (4-1)

Vaspian (4-1)


The “Won’t Miss Playoffs Probably-ers”:

Zack Attack (3-3)

Breast Friends (2-3)


The Pretenders:

Practice Squad (2-4)

GUCCI (1-5)

Today’s Feast (1-5)

Puckett All-Stars (1-4)

Titsburgh Feelers (1-3)*


*-eliminated from playoffs automatically due to quitting as a team


The race for the three teams that miss the playoffs is pretty hot here. Today’s Feast still finds themselves figuring out the TSL game. Puckett All-Stars know the TSL game, but for some reason they just can’t piece things together. They’re last in the division, but the have the best PD (-16) of any team in this “Pretenders” block. They’re my favorites to right the ship. GUCCI is still new to the TSL, and they’ve only had QB Kelly Kane for the last two weeks, so they’re still getting on the same page as the rust is now shaken off. Practice Squad isn’t usually in this zone, but they’ve had so many injuries that at some point it becomes impossible to overcome. Sometimes there’s just a lost season for teams, and this may be theirs. Zack Attack did just wallop the Cunning Stunts, but as it was stated before, it WAS the Clarke’s birthday, so the chances of alcohol being involved was high. I look more at the 3-3 record as their indicator of success and it feels like they’ll need another season of D4 play to really compete. Breast Friends are doing an admirable job after jumping up a division, but it seems like TCB and his girls have some work to do to get things going. After that, as of this writing, D4 has the 6th-10th ranked teams in the TSL. The top 5 squads in D4 are ridiculously close right now, and its going to make for some amazing football down the stretch. Vaspian has been lights out in their move to D4 and they’re a title contender. Falconies are playing wonderful defense and they score no matter who their QB is. The Cunning Stunts have been so impressive that everyone already knows they’re going to D3 next season title or not. Itches and Ohs can score and score, and score some more. They have D1 talent in females which is almost unfair for D4. General Lightning Rod Steve Moser has his offense humming. They really need to find someone to teach them how to play defense though. Until they learn to stop a team, I worry about their championship prospects. And right now, Buffalo Vice is just playing as good as they ever have. Caitlyn Mason is blossoming into a league superstar, and the offense looks tremendous. The defense is clicking. This can only mean Dan Gonzalez is staying wide awake at night, wondering just how its going to go all wrong this season.


This Week’s Games:


Cunning Stunts vs Itches And Ohs (+2) – Last year when these two teams met, Itches used the clock to their advantage and pulled off a mild upset that enraged most of the Stunts. I expect that plan to be used again, and fights to occur on the field by 9:42am. ITCHES AND OHS BY 5


Breast Friends vs Today’s Feast (+10) – I’m not sure of anything with Today’s Feast, but unless they have a way to chase Travis down (male or female) they’re in for a long day. BREAST FRIENDS BY 28


Buffalo Vice vs GUCCI (+13) – The greatest show on uneven grass vs the new kids. Gucci may score a few points, but they just won’t be able to stop this team’s offense. BUFFALO VICE BY 13


Puckett All-Stars vs Titsburgh Feelers Replacement Team (?) – I know they’re putting together a team to play this game, but I don’t know who’s on it. Hard to guess at it.


Buffalo Vice vs Vaspian (+6) – Vaspian has played well, there’s not a doubt about that. I just don’t know if their D can slow down Vice either. BUFFALO VICE BY 9


Zack Attack vs Practice Squad (+7) – Zack Attack continues to roll and it preys on the injured fawn that is PS this season. ZACK ATTACK BY 8


Falconies vs Vaspian (EVEN) – Really, really good game incoming here. These two teams matchup similarly. Brian has played great at QB, but he isn’t Joe Miano yet. Yet. FALCONIES BY 1.





Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 48, 716 25

Wasted Potential 24, TOX 19

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, Lettuce Win 22

716 36, Lettuce Win 26

Woodpeckers 26, Not So Sticky 20


The Contenders:

Spinelli’s Plumbing (5-1)


The Non-Spinelli’s Contenders:

716 (4-2)

Woodpeckers (3-1)

Wasted Potential (3-2)


The Pretenders:

Not So Sticky (2-2)

Come From Behind (2-3)

Lettuce Win (1-4)

TOX (0-5)


               This is Spinelli’s division to lose. I knew they were good last season, but they’ve gotten even better this year. They’re scoring with ease (apparently this is due to whoever Ryan Rusin is?), and after a Week 1 loss to 716, they’re 5-0 and running all over the division. 716 was the team that beat Spinelli’s, yes, but I’m starting to think that was an outlier rather than what we should think. 716 has a great offense, but the defense needs work, and that will cost them as the season goes along. Someone tell Derek Pew to stop being a great realtor and email me about this team. The Woodpeckers look like they’re finally where they should be, and with people talking about how well Sarah is playing for them, she looks to be the next great TSL female someone steals from the Buscaglias. Wasted Potential is better than 3-2, but I know they’ve had QB issues with Coach Jay actually coaching and not playing. If they ended up winning the whole thing, I’m not going to be surprised. As for the rest of the crew, Come From Behind can hang with anyone, for sure, but as the weather gets colder, their joints are going to really start hurting sooner than later. Lettuce Win doesn’t look to be much of a factor in the title picture, as they’re still figuring things out in terms of their roster. TOX will lose to you on the field, but they will absolutely dominate you at the bar. Not So Sticky has a roster with a lot of “names” but they’re just there for the fun of it all, and its hard to take teams like that as serious title contenders. Which is fine, by the way.


This Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky vs TOX (+5) – I can’t imagine NSS being actually drunk for this game at 9am. Right? RIGHT? NOT SO STICKY BY 14


Lettuce Win vs TOX (EVEN) – TOX, sick of coming close and losing, gut this one out and take the win! TOX BY 7


Woodpeckers vs Come From Behind (+7) – If the Woodpeckers have their usual compliment of men with muscles, the ladies from CFB will be way too distracted to play their best. WOODPECKERS BY 8


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Not So Sticky (+10) – NSS will definitely be drunk-ish for this game. And they’re going to need to be. It’s going to hurt. SPINELLI’S BY 18


Wasted Potential vs Woodpeckers (+3) – Here’s another sneaky good game that will mean a lot for seeding purposes. Wasted Potential plays to their potential here. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 3


716 vs Wasted Potential (+3) – Let’s spice up the standings completely here. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 2


Come from Behind vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) – I just think this is going to be the most fun game of the day. Especially if CFB gets on board with the drinking aspect NSS brings to the table. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3




Last Week’s Games:

TMA 32, Graves Bros 31

Travis Henry’s Kids 38, Victorious Secret 32

TMA 32, Lenny’s Ladies 28


The Contender:

TMA (6-0)


The Other Contenders:

Lenny’s Ladies (2-2)

Graves Bros (2-4)

Travis Henry’s Kids (2-2)

Victorious Secret (1-2)

Blitzkrieg (1-4)


               I know that TMA has gotten a lot of smack for staying in D6 to be “big fish in a small pond”, but honestly, it’s not nearly as bad as it looks on paper. Yes, they’re the TSL’s #1 ranked overall team. Yes, they’re 6-0. But if you do a quick deep dive into their games, you come across this: Win by 2, Win by 9, Win by 1, Win by 20, Win by 1, Win by 4. With the lone exception of the 20 point win (which was clearly because Ferger was here) against Victorious Secret, TMA isn’t killing anything. They’ve been down in most of their games, and they’ve had to comeback in half of their wins. So maybe we can pump the brakes a little bit on how they should’ve moved up. (although, flipping them and TOX was probably the move). D6 can be won by any of the teams in it, TMA just has the best chance. Graves Bros are having an up and down season, but they’re 0-2 against TMA, losing on the last play of the game and blowing a 2 score lead last week. Lenny’s Ladies (albeit with Topper at QB) had the lead late until a Brent McKenzie INT gave TMA the spark needed to win. Travis Henry’s Kids have won their last two games and are looking to keep the good times rolling (they haven’t played TMA yet, and it seems their matchup this week has been moved). Blitzkrieg lost to them by a point and they haven’t even had a full roster yet. And Victorious Secret looks a lot better this season in their 3 games, and I expect them to win 3-4 more games for sure. D6 is a lot more up in the air than people realize. TMA just has the advantage of having Diana Bernal, which is the X factor of the century.


This Week’s Games:

Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) – These teams are playing at 9am and then again at 11:00. BK is still trying to figure out who their QB is, while VS has the best one in the division with Jordan Lawson. Then again, they also have the best Lawson in the league with Anna on the team. The Secret girls are still one of the best kept secrets in the league, and I think they show everyone a glimpse into D6’s future this week. But, I’m not going to completely count out Blitzkrieg, and I truly think these two teams split this series. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 6, BLITZKRIEG BY 10.


Lenny’s Ladies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (EVEN) – THK has been much better since this last meeting, rattling off a few wins. The Ladies have also been playing very well this season. Everyone seems to be having fun, but let’s see if someone remembers to NOT wear green this week. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3




1. Who’s ready for the weather? After an unprecedented amount of great weather, this weekend looks like it’s going to be cold and a little rainy. This is when champions are forged.


2. What are the biggest overreactions from last weekend? Despite some interesting results, I wouldn’t read too much into the Cunning Stunts’ blowout loss to Zack Attack that much. Nor would I write Scared Hitless off either. They went 0-2, sure, but it was against A&A and then it was only a one point loss to Top Shot.


3. Is this the week the bar is rocking INSIDE? The fall session has long been known for playing songs on the jukebox, loud singing, lots of dart games, shots, and bets. The “not ideal” weather mentioned earlier may get the TSL back to its roots: being annoying to the Dinner Crowd.


4. Seriously, who is going to win D4? The top teams are all so close! The more I stare at it, the more I think it’s Buffalo Vice’s year. This is usually a death sentence when I pick you, but I think they’re the most complete team.


5. What teams need to have good showings this weekend? I think half of D1, Last Dance, Woodpeckers, and Vaspian could all really use big weekends. Vaspian especially. Not to be negative to them, but if they go 2-0 against Buffalo Vice and Falconies, that’s a VERY big statement to make to the entire league.




1. Please try to show up on time this week, AND PLEASE pick up your garbage. If you bring a bucket to the fields, or a water bottle, take the empties with you. Its bad enough people have to pick up after you, but if its raining on top of it? Yikes.


2. My new favorite Sunday/Monday activity is looking through the TSL pictures and seeing how many dogs are hanging out. We need some sort of TSL Dog collage.


3. The best game watching:

               9:00 – Itches and Ohs vs Cunning Stunts

               10:00 – Sticky Bandits vs Tight Ends In Motion

               11:00 – Top Shot vs When Dove Cries

               12:00 – Losing Streak vs Eyes Downtown

               1:00 -4th and Dong vs The Untouchaballs

               2:00 – Falconies vs Vaspian

               3:00 – Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime


4. I’ve heard many reports of people bringing pop up tents to the fields and hanging out underneath them like some sort of tailgate all day. This is awesome.


5. The Referee Shortage seems to be higher than ever. Thank you again to all of you that volunteer to help out. If you’d like to ref, please contact ANYONE and help out!


6. The podcast was a fun listen, even if it was two hours long. Matty Ice called out just about everyone, so I wonder if he’ll have some repercussions for his actions. This league needs more drama, and fast. Someone call Moh.


7. Currently overrated teams: Top Shot, Grey Hair, 4th and Dong.


8. Currently underrated teams: XTC, Sticky Bandits, Last Dance, Travis Henry’s Kids


9. It really irks me how D4 has 12 teams, and others have 6 or 8. The competition committee needs to prevent this in the future.


10. Teams are starting to form for the indoor league, but more importantly, the whispers have begun about the banquet, which is really the only reason to play in the TSL. Life long friendships come second to the greatest party of the year. And what’s this? Perhaps a random draw tournament as well? The Rameer Cup? Could be one hell of an “offseason”.


Bring a change of clothes this weekend, chances are you’re going to get a little muddy. Go forth and have fun. Good luck to everyone out there. And as always, take care of each other.



Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 01 October 2021 16:46
Published: Friday, 01 October 2021 16:46
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 25


I see you, Vaspian.


The hottest team in the TSL walked onto the fields last weekend with something to prove, taking on two D4 contenders in Buffalo Vice and the Falconies, and they walked out 6-1 and on top of the world.


I see you.


In this very article, for many seasons, I personally trashed gave advice to them on how they needed to move down a division, or that they weren’t very good. That something needed to change.


And it did. QB Brian has found his stride (He wasn’t the QB for Vaspian’s Week 1 loss to Puckett), and the new weapons have settled in just nicely. Vaspian’s offense is scoring at a slower pace than most of the other D4 contenders, but their defense has been arguably the best in the division. 138 points allowed in 7 games. They’re ranked 5th overall in the TSL. They show up to the bar. They’re some of the nicest people we have in this league. I couldn’t be happier for them.


Their detractors might point to the fact that due to scheduling quirks (See: Topper does the schedule with his friend Mr. Wine), Vaspian has been able to avoid the Cunning Stunts and Itches and Ohs so far. But maybe the genius there is that we’ll wait until playoffs for those big matchups.


Vaspian isn’t the only ‘hot’ team in the league I see either.


I see you, Public Enemy.


Despite being given a mandate from Topper NOT to glamorize the 4th annual Chris Cole Retirement Tour, apparently at the wishes of the man himself, it’s hard not to watch what’s happening in D1. And that’s total NSFW, BDSM style domination as PE is 6-0, ranked 2nd overall in the TSL, has the most points for, and the best defense in D1. Every other team has questions, Public Enemy just has answers.


I see you, When Dove Cries.


Yeah, I get it. A&A is 7-0 and on cruise control. Top Shot is very impressive in D2. But right now, the 4-3 WDC is catching my eye. I know, they’re 4-3. They lost to Top Shot last week on an apparent controversial call with a fumble at the goal line being called wrong. They lost to Scared Hitless by 4. They lost to A&A by 9. There’s a world where they’re the 7-0 team, and it starts with having their roster there every week, which was a struggle early on. The have the top defense of the teams above them, and their offense is right there as well. Best point differential in D2 as well. Look out for them.



I see you, Travis Henry’s Kids.


After an 0-2 start in D6, THK has ramped up their game (and I guess their giant, 15 person roster) to go 3-0 since. They’re second in their division, but they have the most points scored in D6 as well. (They have scored 7 more points than the D6 ‘favorites’ TMA but have also played one less game.) Their defense isn’t the world’s greatest, as they’ve allowed 37, 32, and 35 points in that span, but it doesn’t matter when your offense is humming along as theirs has been. QB John Langley is one of the more underrated QBs in the league (such is the life of a D6 quarterback) and someone really need to tell him to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me in on the who’s who of this squad this season.


I see you, Wasted Potential.


5-2, and playing very good defense. The offense is a little behind where you’d want it to be, I know, but what are you going to do when you haven’t really had a consistent QB? The Week 1 loss to Not So Sticky is one you’d like to have back for sure. Going into this weekend’s matchup against Spinelli’s with also a 6-1 record would’ve been ideal. But you can’t change the past. Your future however, is right there in front of you. Go out and show the world who you really are this weekend.


I see you, 4th and Dong.


You lied to us the first few weeks. After a tie with Frodo, you ran out to a 3-0-1 start, defeating the likes of the Super Freaks, Cobblestone, and Last Dance. Once you started playing the top teams in the division however, you sank like a stone. 0-3 in your last few matches, you couldn’t get over 50 points when I believed in you, and now you’re set up to get elbow dropped by the Freeballers as well. You’re a bunch of phonies. There’s a reason you lost your eggplant.





Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 33, Sticky Bandits 18

Eyes Downtown 63, Losing Streak 6

Public Enemy 44, Sticky Bandits 35


               Just a brutal doubleheader for Sticky Nation as they were “blessed” with Public Enemy AND Tight Ends In Motion this week. And man did it show as there were no “last play of the game” scenarios this time around. Just beatdowns. Speaking of beatdowns, Losing Streak apparently decided to play left handed and blindfolded this weekend. I’ll just stop at “yikes”.


This Week’s Games:


Public Enemy vs Losing Streak (+8) – It’s hard to really say much about this game where one team looks very good and the other looked about as bad as they ever will. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 13


Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Sticky Nation attempts to right the ship against the Kabombs, who have been improving with each week. This feels like we’ll be right back to “last play of the game” excitement that Sticky just keeps giving us. SLOB KABOMBS BY 1 WHEN STICKY DOESN’T GET THE GAME WINNING TWO POINT CONVERSION


Tight Ends In Motion vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – Despite the excitement of the 63 points last week, Eyes Downtown still isn’t quite in the champs’ league. TIGHT ENDS BY 8


Eyes Downtown vs Slob Kabombs (+2) – This game will be delayed for 20 minutes as they argue over who gets to wear grey. And then we’ll see a slight upset. SLOB KABOMBS BY 12


Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (+14) – I still can’t believe a team that has two apparent “top 7” WRs only mustered 6 points. I’m sure Chris Nelson cares, but something tells me that’s been sticking with Ralph Finney for a week now. If he’s healthy (I heard something about an ankle injury), look out. LOSING STREAK WAKES UP AND WINS BY 4




Last Week’s Games:


When Dove Cries 21, Passed Our Prime 0 (Forfeit)

A&A 40, Bullet Club 30

XTC 37, Notorious BNB 22

Top Shot 39, When Dove Cries 34

Scared Hitless 38, Passed Our Prime 30


               Passed Our Prime’s goal of being the highest scoring team ever did what all of POP’s goals do (like winning games, for instance): fell short. They feared Topper and refused to play the game, and then showed up 6 hours later to get smacked around by Scared Hitless. They may just be a warmer weather team. A&A overcame a slow start to get by Bullet Club. XTC got win #2 with Joey Batts under center, taking out BNB. Top Shot got another big win in D2 over When Dove Cries, even though it was mired in controversy.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs Bullet Club (+10) – The scheduling ladder matches give us a replay of last week (and, if A&A wins this one, I think it guarantees we’ll have an A&A vs Bullet Club match in the first round of the playoffs). A&A looked good with their entire team showing up, Bullet Club looked like they always do: losing games and missing players. A&A BY 14


Top Shot vs The Notorious BNB (+8) – Top Shot has shown that they can hang in D2 no problem. At this point, they’re just playing good football as they await their eventual rematch with A&A. BNB’s up and down season has been mostly downs. Their defense (or lack thereof) will hurt here. TOP SHOT BY 16


Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+8) – Another rematch from last week, Scared Hitless looks to improve on last week’s win with Dylan actually playing QB this time. The result will more than likely be the same. SCARED HITLESS BY 8


When Dove Cries vs XTC (+6) – There’s nothing Topper wants more than to beat Joey Batts in this potential QB showdown between two icons. Sure, Dubey may show up and ruin that. But just in case he doesn’t, it’s clear Topper flew in his own personal referee in Jeff May to ref this game and shenanigans will be afoot. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 12




Last Week’s Games:

Grey Hair 27, Last Dance 26

The Angels 21, Show Me Dem TDs 0 (Forfeit)

Grey Hair 27, 4th and Dong 24

The Untouchaballs 29, 4th and Dong 22

Frodo Swaggins 28, Super Freaks 22

Freeballers 54, Cobblestone 35


               The Freeballers just dominated Cobblestone in a game that seemingly took forever. Grey Hair really made a big statement this week, going 2-0 and reclaiming the top spot in the standings in D3. D3 is a complete warzone right now. There are 5 real candidates to win this thing. 4th and Dong is no longer one of them, as they went 0-2 against the “competent” competition. Fakers. Frodo picked up a win against Super Freaks, Angels got a forfeit win. Finally, The Untouchaballs continue their dominance with another win.


This Week’s Games:


The Untouchaballs vs Super Freaks (+15) – This isn’t going to go well for one of these teams. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 22


Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance (EVEN)  - It’s hard to gauge Frodo still as they’ve only played 5 games. They feel off this season. Last Dance is better than their record shows, and they’re feeling the heat from the “miss the playoffs” line that they’re just above. LAST DANCE BY 8


Frodo Swaggins vs Cobblestone (EVEN) – Reports of Garrett Beesing being All-Time QB for both teams despite busting his collarbone last week (get well soon my man) don’t feel like they’re just rumors. If anyone would do this, its him. Unsure who his replacement ends up being. COBBLESTONE BY 2


The Angels vs Cobblestone (+4) – Cobblestone will keep it close, but the Angels are just operating on that certain level that, when they get to it, they can’t be stopped. THE ANGELS BY 9


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Show Me Dem TDs (+9) – Grey Hair looks to keep the #1 seed for the playoffs, and with the way they’re rolling, I can’t imagine the circus that SMDTDs is every week will be able to overcome that. GREY HAIR KIND OF CARES BY 17


Freeballers vs 4th and Dong (+22) – Freeballers are pretty damn good but everyone has just forgotten about them since they’ve had multiple QB changes, only 5 games, and haven’t had stability yet. 4th and Dong are fakes. FREEBALLERS BY 15


The Angels vs Freeballers (+2) – This is going to be a great game. FREEBALLERS BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Breast Friends 62, Today’s Feast 26

Buffalo Vice 40, Gucci 16

Puckett All-Stars 42, Titsburgh Feelers 12*

Vaspian 40, Buffalo Vice 6

Practice Squad 38, Zack Attack 25

Vaspian 14, Falconies 9

Cunning Stunts 61, Itches and Ohs 52


               61-52 is a crazy stupid barnburner, and to hear that it ended on a late Joey Batts INT to seal things warmed my heart. Breast Friends are rounding into form as they handled Today’s Feast with no issue. Buffalo Vice pulled off the win against Gucci before getting punched in the mouth by Vaspian. Injuries and people not showing up are starting to rear their ugly head for Vice, again. Vaspian would also then go on to beat Falconies in a defensive battle. Practice Squad, despite injuries of their own, would go onto to put Zack Attack in their place. They’re not dead yet. Last, and certainly least, Mike Boccio made his QB re-debut and it was as much of a dud as was expected. The Emily Curry Breakfast club team filled in for the Titsburgh Quitters, and we were quickly reminded why they didn’t fare too well.


This Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts vs Breast Friends (+3) – GENDER BATTLE! Both teams have played 6 games, and while the Stunts have been getting all of the press (See, they’re 5-1 compared to 3-3) Breast Friends are playing just as well. These two teams are similar. Both have league legends on both sides. Both teams have quarterbacks that are acquired tastes. Breast Friends scores a little more, the Stunts play better defense. This is going to be awesome. TIE. KIDDING. CUNNING STUNTS BY 1.


Puckett All-Stars vs Today’s Feast (+15) – Today’s Feast preps for their D5 future. Puckett begins their usual late ascent in the standings to pull off some playoff “upset”. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 19


Cunning Stunts vs Titsburgh Feelers (NO LINE) – I’m not sure if we’re getting the same team to play in place of the Feelers or if it’ll be a new team. Either way, here’s hoping we’ve seen the last of the Boccio at QB experiment. Travis kept him in D1 to protect him, not hold him down.


Vaspian vs Breast Friends (+2) – Two teams that are hot do battle. Last time Vaspian won 44-39, so they did have an answer for “Travis runs around a lot”. Look for them to continue their momentum. VASPIAN BY 7


Practice Squad vs Gucci (+10) – Gucci is still figuring out how to run an efficient TSL offense consistently. There’s always a learning curve. Practice Squad is coming out to play and not just letting the season pass them by despite the mishaps. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 9


Itches and Ohs vs Zack Attack (+4) – Itches and Ohs can’t stop anyone, but they also really can’t be stopped. I’m not sure Zack Attack and their growing offense can keep up in this shootout. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8


Buffalo Vice vs Falconies (EVEN) – I don’t know how to properly judge this game. When both are healthy, Vice runs away with this, but I know from talking to Dan Gonzalez this week its just not the case. I’m not sure the skeleton crew offense Vice trots out can score on the Falconies good D. FALCONIES BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky 31, TOX 0

Lettuce Win 44, TOX 14

Come From Behind 38, Woodpeckers 26

Spinelli’s Plumbing 36, Not So Sticky 16

Wasted Potential 32, Woodpeckers 6

Wasted Potential 22, 716 20

Come From Behind 36, Not So Sticky 6


               Come From Behind has been killing it lately and they’ve been rocketing up the standings going 2-0 on the day. Not So Sticky’s problem has apparently been playing too late in the day, as they were flawless early in the day, and painful to watch by day’s end. TOX and Woodpeckers both went 0-2 on the day, which means Lettuce Win got another victory as things might be looking up for the new (returning?) team. Wasted Potential went 2-0 themselves, handling the Woodpeckers before surviving a battle with 716.


This Week’s Games:


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Wasted Potential (+7) – Well, here’s another 9:00am marquee matchup. If Wasted Potential is going to be taken seriously, this is the time to show why. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 2


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TOX (+27) – This is going to be brutal to watch, and someone may have to call the police before it’s over. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 40


Wasted Potential vs Lettuce Win (+13) – Lettuce Win isn’t quite there yet to compete with the tippy top of the division. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 13


Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (+7) – Come From Behind’s offense is only rivaled by Spinelli’s in D5. Not So Sticky is about as “league average” as a team can get. Give me the hot hand and the ol’ gunslinger in Paul Lovullo. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12


716 vs Woodpeckers (+10) – 716 still doesn’t get the credit it deserves. But they’ve been a really good team since Week 1. It’s just hard when nobody knows quite who they all are. They’re good though, and even at 4-3 they’re a D5 title threat. Don’t sleep on them. 716 by 7




Last Week’s Games:

Victorious Secret 35, Blitzkrieg 34

Victorious Secret 36, Blitzkrieg 18

Travis Henry’s Kids 52, Lenny’s Ladies 35


               Say what you want about Jordan Lawson, he’s still a good QB (Don’t look at the D1 results please, thanks). So giving him two games against an opponent means he’s going to improve that second game every time. 2-0 against Blitzkrieg, who aren’t in the best season they’ve ever had. But everyone makes the playoffs. The red hot Travis Henry’s Kids had a reported 29 people on their roster for the game against Lenny’s Ladies, and they continued to dominate.


This Week’s Games:


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves Bros haven’t seemed the same to me in over a season now, and with THK just slicing through teams, I can’t imagine that getting better for GB this week. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5


TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+10) – Blitzkrieg, I love you guys. I really do. But things just haven’t gone your way, and that’s okay. BK gave TMA a fight earlier in this season so the upset potential is there, especially if a week off for TMA took them off their routine. TMA BY 8


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – A rematch from last week, I assume Topper will be the LL QB again. I heard the Ladies were shorthanded last game, so hopefully they’ll be at full strength and we’ll see a better matchup this time. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 9


Victorious Secret vs Lenny’s Ladies (+6) – Ending the TSL day how we began it: GENDER TEAM BATTLE! These two teams haven’t faced off yet this season that I can see, so it’ll be awesome to have a big match feel to it. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3




1. Who has the most to prove this week? I’d say its Wasted Potential. D5 was declared “over” in Week 3, but WP has battled back to make this a race. A win, or even a close loss to Spinelli’s this week at least gives us the idea that someone else can take this title.


2. What referees are going to bail on the league Friday night at 10pm? I heard about the struggle with the referee schedules last weekend. It’s pretty lame of those refs to bail on their responsibility so close to Saturday like that. People are going to start having to start spinning the punishment wheel.


3. What teams do I want to learn more about? Well, technically all of them, but I’d like to hear more about 716, Today’s Feast, and Lettuce Win for sure.


4. Will any team go undefeated? There are two weeks left in the regular season. As of now, Public Enemy is 6-0, A&A is 7-0, and TMA is 6-0. I could see a TMA slipup for sure. I’m sure they have a late “we’ve been at the bar for a few hours before the game” game left on the schedule. PE looks so incredibly dominant, as long as they don’t have a “miss most of the roster” game, they should do it. I can’t see A&A losing to Bullet Club this week, so it’ll come down to next week’s “1st vs 2nd” matchup which aims to be against Top Shot. Spicy. I think we’ll get one at least.


5. Most underrated team it the TSL currently? Come From Behind has been very good lately. Freeballers are excellent as well. And we should all stop sleeping on the Slob Kabombs.




1. Shout out to the people who stepped up during “RefGate” last weekend. Even if some weren’t perfect, it’s still nice of the league to come together and help out.


2. What happened to Notorious BNB? Weren’t they supposed to be good?


3. It appears the “Alex Buchilis Award For “What If This Team In D1 Had A Different QB” is going to Jordan Lawson. The emails I’ve gotten and the whispers around the league are starting to ask ‘What If?’. Interesting times ahead. Nothing shuts them up quite like winning though.


4. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, but for those who may not know, Dawson Broad of Slytherin That End Zone was involved in an accident on July 4th. I don’t know the details on his current status, but I do know that on October 24th, from 1pm-4pm, there is going to be a fundraiser for him at the Blackthorn Restaurant. It’s the Bills bye week that week so don’t worry about that. Anyway, a ticket is $30, and it would be awesome to see a large TSL presence there to support one of our own. I’m sure others have more information on it, and they should email me to give me more info so I can proceed to pass it on to all of you.


5. I’m tired of talking about the weather for this league. No matter what I say, it ends up being the opposite. It should be 74 and sunny. Which means it’s going to snow.


6. Next week’s article, I’d like to do a “reader mailbag” type thing, so please take a few minutes from your day and send in some questions please!


7. The best games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Wasted Potential vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

               10:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance

               11:00 – Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime

               2:00 – Freeballers vs 4th and Dong

               3:00 – Buffalo Vice vs Falconies


8. My favorite texts I got from the fields last week had nothing to do with the games that were going on. It appears, instead, that Frank from the Wanderers was busy challenging Public Enemy to a match to see who the best team is. He claims they would win a Best of 7 series in 5 games. I heard he wanted $1000 put up on the games too. This can easily happen, and I know the TSL will accommodate such a challenge.


9. Referees blow calls all of the time. It’s a tough thing to do. Try to be as civil as possible. Even if they call a touchback on a fumble.


10. It appears that post-football darts are really ramping up at the bar. Okay, Topper just told me about how much he loves it, so that means it must be happening in some capacity. Either way, that was always a solid pastime, so get into the bar and challenge!


Week 7 is here, and there isn’t much else we can do about it. The playoffs are on the horizon. It’s already October. Winter Football will be back, so it won’t be too bad. Topper should have more info on that sooner than later. Just prepare to have a blast. I heard teams are already forming.


Go forth and have fun.


I’ll see you in the cut.



Week 5 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 17 September 2021 14:46
Published: Friday, 17 September 2021 14:46
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 32


There’s nothing quite like the midseason of the TSL.


Teams are really rounding into form as true contenders, while others that began the season with championship dreams are starting to recognize their shortcomings might be too much to overcome. Either way, the competitive juices are flowing and things are just starting to get interesting, at least on my end.


This week the TSL Power Rankings committee, hot off their successful “Top 10 Female Receivers” in the league list, decided to dip right back into the well with the males, expanding it to Top 20. This is genius, because with the lone exception of the “over the hill with a few extra pounds” Mike Boccio, the entire league is complaining about their ranking. And for some, they have VERY good reason to do so!


Take Chris Nelson, who was ranked #2 overall, but should STILL feel slighted that he’s not #1. But what about his own teammate Ralph Finney? You’re telling me Ralph, who some feel is the best player on his own team (and thus, better than Chris) is only #7? Amazing miss there by the committee.


Drew Colosimo at #5 is hilarious when he’s yet to bring Topper a championship, and he couldn’t even help Vaspian to wins when he was on that team. Fun Fact: Sticky hasn’t won a game since adding him either.


Dave Baker gets by on name recognition nowadays, as some of the joint supplements he takes during the week actually expired before half of the Top 20 were even born.


Ben Stack “appeared on everyone’s list” but has never given his teams anything more than a migraine and a .500 or lower record.


Pete Nguyen is just fantastic and should be Top 5 easily. He’s not only the top Asian in the league, he’s also the top Pete. The disrespect here is tremendous.


Didn’t Paul Johnson retire 4 years ago?


Garrett Beesing is a national treasure, but to consider him a Top 20 male WR when his hands gave up on him in 2018 (to the point that he had to start working hard to be a terrible QB) is atrocious. Then again, maybe this list IS from 2018.

Dan Gonzalez is more than likely just shocked he’s included.


Kevin Zack is 72 years old. And he shouldn’t even count because he isn’t human. It’s cheating.


There are so many people right now just staring at this list wondering why they didn’t even get honorable mentions. Joey Batts is cutting a promo right now. Blasé LaDuca is writing a 4000 word response on how his “best friends” Chris and Sean should be unanimously 1A and 1B on a consistently rotating basis because its impossible to choose who is better while also trying to work in how his “intangibles” should have him included on the list. And my favorites, the “nobody knows who this person is but they should totally be there because of reasons” people. Look at the TSL Facebook post about the article.


“They clearly never see you play Ryan Rusin”.


The TSL as a whole: “Who the hell is Ryan Rusin?”.


Nobody still knows, but hey, at least I made him famous for a week.


But that’s just negligence on the part of not only the committee for not paying attention to D5/D6 enough, but the team (in this case, thanks to the roster sheet for telling me, Spinelli’s Plumbing) for their refusal to send *anyone* an email to hype up their own players. For all we know Ryan Rusin is a Top 10 talent, but as the late, great Macho Man Randy Savage once said “The Cream Rises To The Top”.


In other words, if you haven’t gotten noticed by anyone on the committee, maybe it’s because you’re not that noticeable.


So get to work.





Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 55, Losing Streak 48

Tight Ends In Motion 30, Eyes Downtown 28

Slob Kabombs 26, Sticky Bandits 25


               Another week, another small slate of D1 games. PE continues to dominate the “Chris Cole Retirement Tour” which means nothing since they’ve only played two games. Losing Streak finds themselves just on the outside looking in when it comes to being a true D1 contender. Meanwhile, TEIM takes home a nice victory over New Eyes Downtown, who just don’t feel the same anymore. Can we get Beth back to start throwing elbows? Clearly, Slob Kabombs were inspired by my article last week taking a victory, as Sticky Bandits proceed to lose yet another game that maybe they should’ve won. Are we *sure* its too late for Dean Thompson to come save them?


This Week’s Games:


Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – Both teams are hungry for a win, as they’ve been playing ridiculously close games. But, Losing Streak is losing out to Public Enemy, not Slob Kabombs. LOSING STREAK BY 14


Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy (EVEN) – The most marquee of matchups the TSL can offer comes to center stage. This is must watch TV for anyone in the league, shame it’s so early. TIGHT ENDS BY 1


Losing Streak vs Slob Kabombs (+10) – The Kabombs look to keep things rolling. This is a much harder test than Sticky was last week, so it’ll be interesting to see if the Slobs measure up. LOSING STREAK BY 8


Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Both of these teams are starting to feel like D1 jobbers. Enhancement talent for the more popular teams in the division. Could you ever imagine Bobby McConnell just sort of “being there” in D1? Father Time never loses. STICKY BANDITS BY 8


Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+9) – Toby Keith once said “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was” and based off what I said about Eyes Downtown a paragraph ago, I’m thinking they’re going to come hard in this one. It still won’t be enough, but it’ll be fun. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

XTC 32, Bullet Club 18

A&A 33, Top Shot 29

Scared Hitless 30, Notorious BNB 20

When Dove Cries 51, Notorious BNB 16


               XTC takes down Bullet Club to finally get that first win. The Notorious BNB seems to be just going through the motions, allowing Alex’s brother George to throw, and not really caring if they win or lose. Everyone makes the playoffs. Even still, Scared Hitless is 4-0 and absolutely killing it. I don’t know how Dylan got to the next level, but I think he’s here. Look out. Finally, A&A and Top Shot went to war, but the young upstarts challenged the king, and they were promptly knocked down a peg. They’ll learn from this loss and come back stronger.


This Week’s Games:


The Notorious BNB vs Bullet Club (+13) – Bullet Club finds themselves in games, but never scoring enough to keep pace. This barnburner of a matchup (the teams are a combined 1-9) should have some fun plays done up, but this feels more like two teams just coasting until the games matter. NOTORIOUS BNB BY 9


When Dove Cries vs XTC (+10) – Team Topper is chugging along at 2-2, but with a big Clarke sister birthday weekend coming up, they’re lucky this game is at 11am. XTC looks to continue their momentum, but a stifling WDC defense stands in their way. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 10


A&A vs Scared Hitless (+6) – A week after dismissing Top Shot, A&A gets another young and hungry team looking to make a name for themselves with a signature win against them in Scared Hitless. Hitless boasts smart males (none in the Top 20 though), a killer defense, and they have the advantage on the female end of things too. But they don’t have Matty Ice, who’s healthy and killing it right now. A&A BY 9


Top Shot vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) – This is a freaking awesome matchup between two of D2s rising teams. They’re even across the board. Game of the day potential right here. TOP SHOT BY 1


Top Shot vs Passed Our Prime (+6) – POP wants to get to the level that Top Shot is currently at. They like to score fast and often. But, as we said before, they can’t stop anyone. I feel like Top Shot will score on every possession they have, and POP will have a costly turnover or two. TOP SHOT BY 11




Last Week’s Games:

The Untouchaballs 34, Grey Hair 14

Cobblestone 36, Show Me Dem TDs 16

Freeballers 27, Super Freaks 17

The Angels 33, Frodo Swaggins 18

Freeballers 16, Last Dance 15

4th and Dong 38, Last Dance 30


               Jeremy Burr has the Untouchaballs offense cruising along. The D3 QB of the year candidate dominates Grey Hair to let the entire division know they’re for real. Cobblestone had a patchwork lineup and still rocked SMDTDs without much effort. Super Freaks may have lost, but they’re getting closer to getting that first win. The Freeballers take two wins this past week, but they can’t be thrilled with their offensive output so far. 4th and Dong sure can though as they stay undefeated and are the clear cut favorites to win D3 as we head into the season’s second half. Last Dance lost two close ones, but they shouldn’t have much to worry about as they showed just a season ago that they can get it together and make some playoff noise.


This Week’s Games:


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) – Is this the end for Frodo? Is the window closed for that championship? This matchup will surely show us just how close they are to being contenders. Grey Hair looks to correct last week’s hiccup. GREY HAIR BY 2


4th and Dong vs Show Me Dem TDs (+15) – Scotty Dro likes to email me about how great he’s doing in D3. So I’m challenging him to score over 54.5 points this week *and* beat the 15 point spread. We’ll see if Mount Ida’s finest is up to the challenge. 4th AND DONG BY 14. AND THEY DON’T BREAK 50.


The Angels vs Super Freaks (+18) – Sorry Super Freaks. You just don’t have the female talent to keep up with the Angels, who seem to have gone all “Stella” on us, and they’ve gotten their groove back. Good for the league, bad for the Freaks. THE ANGELS BY 28.




Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 46, Titsburgh Feelers 7

Vaspian 24, Gucci 23

Cunning Stunts 43, Practice Squad 26

Falconies 28, Today’s Feast 21

Breast Friends 52, Gucci 36


               Gucci went 0-2 on the field but from all accounts they were 1-0 at the bar. Kelly Kane finally threw all day for them, and after a very close loss to a surging Vaspian team, they lost to a Breast Friends team that is extremely talented. Buffalo Vice beat Titsbugh Feelers so badly that they decided to quit football altogether. I’m not kidding. They’re done. The Stunts continue to show why they’re D3 bound next season, championship or not. Finally the Falconies picked up a win over the Feast.


This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Vice vs Today’s Feast (+12) – Today’s Feast is 1-4, sure, but their -19 point differential tells me they can hang around in most games as they figure out the TSL game. Good on them. But Buffalo Vice is a juggernaut offense that can kill you with a deep ball or on short stuff. It’ll be a challenge. BUFFALO VICE BY 19


Breast Friends vs Vaspian (+8) – Vaspian needs to score many gender TDs here to keep pace with Travis Clevanger-Bernal and his ladies. It’s quite the task, but Vaspian has been playing well this season, and I think this could be a surprise. VASPIAN BY 2


Vaspian vs Practice Squad (+5) – It was sad to hear on the podcast that Practice Squad has been suffering a rash of injuries. That explains why their once amazing defense is now the only TSL franchise that’s allowed over 200 points so far this season. Big things for Vaspian this week! VASPIAN BY 8


Falconies vs Gucci (+6) – The Falconies are getting next to zero respect from the TSL right now. They’re just the forgotten team as they continue to show up, do their jobs, and win games. Gucci is the fun new toy that the TSL is starting to gravitate towards. Look for the Lightning Jabronies to remind everyone who they are. FALCONIES BY 17


Cunning Stunts vs Zack Attack (+18) – Zack Attack is settling into D4 nicely (and I hear they have jerseys now!) but the Stunts are a different animal. However, a 3:00 game on the aforementioned “Clarke Twins birthday” has me feeling like a decent sized chunk of the ladies won’t be 100% for this one. But Joey Batts will be. And he’s F’N great. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13


Itches and Ohs vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) – The “add some former All We Do Is Quinn” players move isn’t quite paying off just yet for PAS as they’re uncharacteristically anemic on offense and only 1-3. Itches and Ohs has a defense that can cure any teams’ offensive woes, but love him or hate him (most pick the latter) Steve Moser can score with the best of them. Watch him do it again this week. ITCHES AND OHS BY 17




Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 50, TOX 6

Not So Sticky 46, Lettuce Win 16

Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Wasted Potential 30

Woodpeckers 37, 716 32

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, Woodpeckers 22


               The TSL doesn’t know who Ryan Rusin is, but if he’s the catalyst for this disgustingly talented offense that Spinelli’s Plumbing has, perhaps we really do need to reevaluate the Top 20. 210 points in 5 games is tremendous and they’re they only team that scored over 200 points so far. The Woodpeckers settled into D5 nicely, and they’re 2-1 on the season after a literal up and down spring session. They handed 716 their first loss, but there’s nothing for the Pew Crew to hang their heads at. They’re doing awesome. Not So Sticky chose NOT to “Letthem win” in their game against an undermanned Lettuce Win. Come From Behind tossed up 50 against an overmatched TOX team who is currently battling some QB issues since Topper left his friends for dead.


This Week’s Games:


716 vs Come From Behind (+3) – Quite a fun matchup for two teams that have never played each other before. CFB looks to build on their big win last week whereas 716 is looking to rebound from their first ever loss. There’s a lot of fun factors here, should be a good one. 716 BY 7


Wasted Potential vs TOX (+11) – TOX needs to get that offense going if they want to stand a chance in D5. Wasted Potential, not surprisingly, is wasting some potential as they hover around .500 yet again. This team always bides its time and then “surprises” in the playoffs. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 14


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Lettuce Win (+17) – I don’t think Lettuce Win has the ability to stop Spinelli’s, because at this point, nobody does. SPINELLI’S BY 24


716 vs Lettuce Win (+10) – The backend of a doubleheader for both teams, Lettuce Win can’t do much until they learn how to score more often. 716 by 13


Not So Sticky vs Woodpeckers (EVEN) – a pretty marquee matchup even if it doesn’t sound like it. These teams are very evenly matched and a lot will ride on who shows up for NSS. WOODPECKERS BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, Blitzkrieg 37

TMA 48, Victorious Secret 28

Lenny’s Ladies 45, Graves Bros 44


               THK finally gets their first win of the season against Blitzkrieg in a game that was going to be so boring I subconsciously skipped over even talking about it last week. And then about 47 seconds after the article was posted by Topper, Ethan was emailing me to correct me. Sorry everyone. TMA takes an easy one over Victorious Secret, putting some of the whispers about them to rest. Finally Topper filled in for an injured Joe K and lead Lenny’s Ladies to an exciting win over Graves Bros.


This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Graves Bros (+3) – In missing the game in last week’s article, I was given information that BK isn’t even at 100% yet, and hasn’t been all year. Yes, everyone (okay, like 17 people) knows that QB Alex and All-World Female Allie aren’t playing, but they’re also missing a few others. Last week they needed to try out other QBs, for instance. It’ll be interesting to see how they do at “full backup strength”. BLITZKRIEG BY 3


TMA vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves just narrowly lost to TMA in Week 1, so you know that’s on their minds. I was going to expect Graves to take this one, and then Ferger came back. The inspirational leader of the team will continue to right the ship. TMA BY 10


Victorious Secret vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) – If there’s something Jordan Lawson doesn’t like, its losing. The sting of a loss to TMA more than likely sat with him all week, so he’s going to take it out on Travis Henry’s Kids. He’s not going to lose 2 in a row. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3


TMA vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – Lenny’s Ladies is 2-0 when Joe K doesn’t play, and 0-1 with him. None of that will matter since he’ll be too focused on his former love interest than he will be at being a D+ quarterback. TMA BY 20.




1. Is Sticky overmatched in D1? They haven’t been winning the games they should be winning. Perhaps they should’ve dropped back down a division.


2. Are people taking D2 seriously? I think any one of the teams can win the championship, but while A&A takes on all comers, and new teams like Top Shot and Scared Hitless are thriving, the veteran teams like XTC, BNB, and Bullet Club are all just biding their time, having fun subs, and trying not to get anyone hurt before the playoffs. Is that the move? Does the regular season just not matter?


3. What do we with the Titsburgh Feelers situation? Sadly, for those that don’t know, the Feelers resigned from the league this past weekend. I talked to Topper and Joe K and while nothing is concrete, I think we’re going to get a bit of an “all-star” ensemble cast to take their spot. This team won’t be eligible for the playoffs, but they’ll exist to give the other teams an opponent each week.


4. Do you want to referee? Seriously, so many TSLers love this league but not nearly enough of you are stepping up to referee a game or two when we’re in peril. You don’t have to do it all day, but being able to be a “spot starter” could go a long way.


5. Do you want recognition? Recently people have been chattering about who isn’t being included in articles, or on the podcast, or anything TSL related. It’s very simple. You read this article. You read other articles. You listen to the podcast. Take 5 minutes out of your day and email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and give us a heads up on who you are! We have over 600 people in the league, and a lot of you are very, very new. It’s impossible for me to learn who everyone is when I live 845 miles away in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and my only “lifeline” nowadays is Topper. Think about that.




1. I really think the Top 20 Male WR rankings are going to inspire some very talented play this weekend.


2. Considering how great the weather has been for the TSL every week (it’ll be 77 and sunny again this Saturday), I think we’re overdue for a DJ Jimmy and DJ Tommy appearance.


3. There’s something missing from the podcasts lately. It feels “off” when I listen to them. It might just be the lack of Lenny though. Or the lack of a new intro.


4. Thank you again for making the TSL charity drive for the Veterans a huge success. People spun the wheel and had an amazing time. It warms my heart when I hear about how giving this league really is.


5. The next TSL charity drive? Did someone say Dog Adopt-A-Thon?


6. Anyone who takes what we do for the TSL Media over the years too seriously really needs to take a chill pill. You aren’t being personally attacked because you didn’t get ranked. Don’t ruin things for everyone else. This isn’t to anyone in particular, but if you felt even the least bit attacked by that statement, maybe you should think about why that is.


7. Best Game Watching Program Presented By B’s Brother:

               9:00 – Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits

               10:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy

               11:00 – Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy

               2:00 -Scared Hitless vs Top Shot

               3:00 – Puckett All-Stars vs Itches and Ohs


I know I did two PE games, but I mean, look at them.


8. The amount of emails I get that are just people guessing who I am never cease to entertain me. Just this season alone I’ve been told I’m Topper, Jeff Krol, Joe K, Val Bernal, Travis, Matty Ice, Emily Curry, Emily Schilling, Axel Neff, Lenny, Tommy Hughes, Chris Cole, Dave Walter, Dave Baker, and my personal favorite “One of the guys who are Cookie and Elmo because you can walk around the fields and blend in”.


9. I 100% left a secret code in this article, and whoever gets it first will win a TSL prize.


10. There’s been chatter that we may make a “TSL Store” where you could get some cool Topper Sports swag. Is that something you’d be interested in? If you would, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .


The TSL is at its apex! After this week, we’ll be slowly headed towards the second half of the season, winter, and the end of all this greatness. Enjoy this while you can, it always goes so fast.


Be safe out there, and I’ll see you next week. Good luck!



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