WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 04 September 2026 16:29

Published: Friday, 04 September 2026 16:29

Written by Topper

Hits: 132

 

 

And we’re off! Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race has begun! After a near perfect Week 1 (not that it was hard to beat the Week 1 last spring) that saw its fair share of thrilling games, beautiful weather, and “it’s good to be back” smiles all over the place, the calendar has turned to September and it’s time to “lock in”. 

It’s true, every season at about this time I get to remind you that the first couple of weeks of any TSL season doesn’t matter. It’s never about how you start, it’s about how you finish. You know the drill by now: it takes a couple of weeks for most of the TSL to get into form. Week 1’s big winners are tomorrow’s “upset in the first round of the playoffs” teams. If your team is brand new, added new players and didn’t practice all summer, is full of players who need to stretch in the morning just to make sure they don’t hurt themselves stretching in the afternoon, chances are you didn’t put your best foot forward last week. So many teams need a few weeks to get on the same page, or work themselves back into “top game shape” that it’s hard to recognize what’s real and what’s not at this point. And let’s not forget the excuses that I’m sure we’ve all heard by now: “Our QB wasn’t there!”, “We were missing our best players!”, “Half of our team forgot the season started last week and didn’t show up!”. You get the idea. 

That’s where I come in. I’ve been watching this league from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa for decades. I have a talent to sniff out what’s real and what’s not at the start of the season. 

 

WHAT’S SUPER REAL: 

-Buddy Lee. He rolled out of bed on Saturday morning, smoked The Malones like it was nothing (hanging 66 points on them in the process), and then casually went 2-0 with PWI without even really trying. He might not be the overall best QB in the league, but he’s on his way. 

-Eyes Downtown heading to the D1 championship game. I’m not ready to crown them champions, but they barely broke a sweat handling the Legends in Week 1, and they’re only going to get better. 

-Darryl’s Roster. Right? They have to be. 

-The Blue Ballers. They’re just going to do that thing they’ve done every season so far. Win. 

-Grey Hair Don’t Care is going to waltz away with an easy D3 title win, because all of the other top teams went to D2. 

-Speaking of, D2 is going to be a weekly firefight no matter who is on the field. 

-Victorious Secret might’ve thrown a damn near perfect game in D5 last week, but that is more than likely going to be the norm going forward. Jeff Krol can see the torches and pitchforks heading his way in the distance already. 

-New teams? No problem. Cat-astrophe and the Bengay Bandits get off to fantastic starts, expect them to be there at the end of the season too. 

 

WHAT’S KIND OF MAYBE REAL:

-Casual reminder that BQI are only two seasons removed from losing in the D5 playoffs. Being 0-2 isn’t a complete surprise, so maybe let’s pump the brakes on the “they’re WAY too good for D2” whining. 

-The Flying Balls might be back up to their old tricks. 

-The Sticky Laces are cursed by some old gypsy woman that now binds them to only playing one point games. This is Kyle’s fault. 

-Fall Blitzkrieg might not be as good as Spring Blitzkrieg anymore? 

 

WHAT’S SUPER DUPER MEGA NO WAY NOT REAL:

-The Legends aren’t dead, they just don’t care yet. Jaded from winning so much for the last decade I guess. 

-Darryl’s roster. Right? 

-Thinking that B or the Stunts are just going to let Grey Hair walk away with a title. 

-That Buddy Lee won’t throw for PWI all season. Over/Under “T-Time” games this season is currently at 1.5. 

 

That about covers it. 

At the end of the day, anything that happened so far doesn’t mean a thing. So tell your hyperactive dude bro blowing up the group chat to chill. This is Week 2, a brand new week, and a brand new opportunity to change your team’s narrative. 

For better or for worse. 

 

D1

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

STICKY BANDITS 48, CAN'T TOUCH THIS 43
FREEBALLERS 66, THE MALONES 28
EYES DOWNTOWN 33, LEGENDS 16

Well, D1 wasted no time reminding us why it's the top division. Can't Touch This showed up to their D1 debut and went toe-to-toe with Sticky in a 91-point slugfest, and just like Rocky Balboa, they too lost to Apollo Creed, but they sure earned some respect. They'll be just fine in D1. Eyes Downtown, meanwhile, look every bit like the champs, handling the Legends in a way that has to make the rest of the division a little nervous. But the game everyone's still talking about? The Freeballers dropping SIXTY-SIX on the Malones. Don’t get me wrong, The Malones world beaters on defense to begin with, but if that's the real Freeballers, D1 just got a whole lot more interesting. And if you're the Malones, giving up 66 has to sting in a way no amount of "it's Week 1" can fully explain away.

EYES DOWNTOWN VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+7) - The best thing that could happen to the TSL would be Frodo Swaggins walking in a week late to the party, and punching the champs in the mouth. It would instantaneously make D1 an “anyone can win this division" division. But Eyes Downtown looked so damn good last week. Frodo keeps them on their toes but blinks first at the end. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4

STICKY BANDITS VS THE MALONES (+10) - The Malones sitting at 10 point underdogs feels soooo 2023. But with rumored QB issues, and the defense they ordered still stuck in transit somewhere near Toledo, the reality is that they are very very not back. Sticky calmly outlasted Can’t Touch This last week, and somehow out of the 7 teams in D1, they’re making the least amount of noise. Just how they like it. STICKY BANDITS BY 12

FREEBALLERS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+4) - It’s apparent that when Garrett walked into Jeff Krol’s office at TSL HQ to request off from his position of Referee Wrangler for Week 1 for his darkness retreat, Mr. Krol smiled, approved the request, and then because he can see the future, scheduled Garrett in a doubleheader against the hottest two teams in the division. Nobody announced their arrival louder than the Freeballers did last weekend, and now it’s on them to prove it wasn’t a fluke. Unlike the Freeballers teams of the past, this one will actually do it. FREEBALLERS BY 10

CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS LEGENDS (+1) - Sometimes the odds maker just makes me laugh. I get it, the Legends looked unlegendary last week while CTT looked like they belonged in D1 (which everyone in the TSL except them has known for a minute now). But to make them slight favorites is a little too much until they earn it. I’d wager my hard earned Topper Bucks on the Legends here. Either I'm getting points with the 2nd best team of all time, or I’m getting some fantastic “WE SHOWED YOU” emails from CTT. LEGENDS BY 8

 

D2

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

BULLET CLUB 35, BQI 25
PWI 45, LET'S GET RECCKED 28
PWI 48, BQI 46
THE SYSTEM 29, D-GENERATION X Y AND Z 15

The "new" D2 came out swinging, and the early headline is fairly easy. PWI IS BACK! Two games, two wins, including a nailbiter over BQI that told us everything we needed to know about how quickly this team would be able to shake the rust off. Speaking of BQI, an 0-2 start was not on the bingo card for them, but that's the thing about this D2: everybody can play, and there are no nights off. The good news for them (incoming theme of the article) is there's a lot of football left and the offense clearly has juice. The System looked the part in a comfortable win over the Kellers, and they’re only going up from here.  

 

PWI VS BULLET CLUB (+2) - Two old rivals meet again for the first time in a while. Both teams looked good against BQI, but in different ways. PWI couldn’t stop scoring (or allowing points) while Bullet Club really played well defensively overall, while not being too shabby on offense. I tend to lean towards the better defensive team getting an extra stop or two in these situations.  BULLET CLUB BY 1

LET'S GET RECCKED VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+1) -  It wasn’t quite a storybook beginning in D2 for LGR, but with the new players they added it makes sense that it’ll take a minute for them to really gel. That’s not a problem for DXYZ, however. If Damian can channel his grandfather’s amazing QB skills that are still laying dormant inside of him, DXYZ could really go places. D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 3

THE SYSTEM VS BQI (+7) - One bad week does not a season make. BQI’s 0-2 start is a top TSL headline, but that’s only because of how it caught the public off guard. What matters the most is that BQI improved in their second game, and they’re going to be even better this week. The System was in cruise control for most of week 1, but they’re going to “get up” for this one and they’re not going to make it easy on Bridget whatsoever. Last year’s loss still sits in their memories. This week’s loss is really going to bug them too. BQI BY 8

 

D3

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 41, CUNNING STUNTS 27
BUFFALO VICE 21, COBBLESTONE 0 (FORFEIT)
GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 42, MIKE'S DETAILING 24

I said Grey Hair - Don't Care would win this division and they spent Week 1 making me look like a genius, going 2-0 and taking care of both the Cunning Stunts AND Mike's Detailing in the process. That's about as good a start as you could ask for. The Stunts and MD both had their moments but couldn't close, which is going to be the D3 story all year in this reshuffled bunch. And then there's Cobblestone. Darryl's mystery roster of ringers was so mysterious that it didn't actually show up, handing Buffalo Vice a free 21-0 W. I said I'd believe it when I saw it, and well, I still haven't seen it. Vice, for their part, will take the easy win and the return to a division where they can breathe a little easier after a rough season last season.

BUFFALO VICE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) - Buffalo Vice is back to their winning ways in their return to D3. Both of these teams should have a chip on their shoulders to some degree. Yeah, Vice didn’t have the best of seasons last season, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t just playing in a tougher division and things should be “easier” (for lack of a better term) for them. And the Squad might not have Kenny to save them anymore, but they still have a crotchedy old rocket armed QB who has never met a slight he didn’t turn into motivation. Not to mention the rest of the talent on the roster (Hi Renee!) still exists. Yet both teams feel like D3 afterthoughts. Not for long. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 4

COBBLESTONE VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+1) - MIKE’S DETAILING REVENGE GAME! Maybe. If Cobblestone shows up. Cobblestone knocked MD out of the D4 playoffs in an upset last season, and now both teams are up in D3 to rekindle the budding rivalry. I know that Darryl Carr QB Superstar is sitting on an amazing team, and he’s going to prove the doubters wrong this week. COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

D4

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

BLUE BALLERS 45, BALLS DEEP 25
POWERPUFF GIRLS 39, I'D RATHER BE GOLFING 20
NOT SO STICKY 36, I'D RATHER BE GOLFING 25
FLYING BALLS 38, SKELETON CREW 35
GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS 43, POWERPUFF GIRLS 23

The champ-vs-champ opener was a little anti-climatic,  with the Blue Ballers reminding everybody that back-to-back titles weren't a fluke, handling the reigning D4 champs in Balls Deep. The Tater Thots came back to the fall session and immediately dropped 43 on the PPG, because of course they did. Poor I'd Rather Be Golfing drew a double-header from hell and went home 0-2 through no real fault of their own, losing to the PowerPuffs and to Not So Sticky. And give it up for the Flying Balls, who edged the Skeleton Crew in a fun one to kick off both teams’ new QB eras.  

 

BLUE BALLERS VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+8) - When we last left the Coochie Monsters, they were among the front runners for the D4 title and then everything went sideways. Their welcome back present? The freight train known as the Blue Ballers. There are absolutely better ways to start a season. It’ll get better for the Coochies. BLUE BALLERS BY 18

NOT SO STICKY VS BALLS DEEP (+14) - Balls Deep might be the first team in TSL history to win a championship, stay in their division, and end up as double digit underdogs within a week. I don’t love this line, and I’d take the points regardless, as Not So Sticky doesn’t usually light up the scoreboard, they just do what they need to to win. NSS controlled their game with IRBG last week, and expect more of the same here. NOT SO STICKY BY 7

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS BALLS DEEP (+11) - I want to be clear, Balls Deep is a good team. They’re smart, athletic, and they possess some legitimately underrated females in the TSL that if Rameer were alive today, he’d already be in their DMs trying to steal them away for his next D1 team that fails. But they’re not the PowerPuff Girls. The PPGs are working towards full strength, and for anyone who forgot, they’re absolute killers when they get there. And they’re getting there. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 10

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

VICTORIOUS SECRET 59, PIT HARADE 18
TMA 32, ROOM 40 22
COME FROM BEHIND 30, WET BANDITS 14
716ERS 28, BLITZKRIEG 20

I told you Fall Blitzkrieg is a different animal, as the 716ers knocked them off their pedestal right away, which was surprising. Victorious Secret announced themselves to D5 by hanging 59 points on Pit Harade, which is exactly the kind of thing that will make lesser teams start to whine more. TMA slid up from D6 and looked comfortable against Room 40, and CFB did CFB things, grinding out a win over the Wet Bandits. 

 

BLITZKRIEG VS ROOM 40 (+7) - Blitzkrieg may have just had an off week last Saturday, and if that’s the case, we’ll find out here. BK had next to no problem with Room 40 last season, and if they struggle here, then it’s time for concern. As for Room 40 right now, it’s “new name, same concerns”. Let’s see how they look this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

TMA VS BLITZKRIEG (+5) -  BK then gets an immediate test in the D6 defending champs, TMA. This one should be a good one, as TMA seems to have picked up right where they left off last season. TMA BY 4

COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+10) - Come From Behind had a lot of things go their way last weekend, while Pit Harade was more of the opposite. Pairing FA signing Garrett with former MVP Quentin Holliday could be the cure to what ailed PH not just last week, but last season as well. CFB continues to just get the job done no matter who they have on the field. This should be a good test for both teams. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

VICTORIOUS SECRET VS TMA (+3) - Victorious Secret could not be stopped last week, which had to give Jordan that old familiar feeling he had in the minors when anything he did turned to gold. TMA should provide a much stiffer test for them, and TMA knows how to use their ladies to keep pace with the gender teams. TMA gives them a run for their money but ultimately falls short. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 13

VICTORIOUS SECRET VS 716ERS (+8) - The 716ers made a BIG statement last week, smacking Blitzkrieg around and announcing themselves as contenders for the title. If they truly are title material, this will be the game where they find out. They haven’t played a gender team yet (I don’t think), and there is definitely an adjustment period for that. I’m not sure how good the 716ers ladies are, but they better be on top of their game or else. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 17

 

D6

 

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

IRISH GIANTS 39, SELECT 36
BENGAY BANDITS 45, BLITZED AND CONFUSED 6
CAT-TASTROPHE 24, STICKY LACES 23

The preseason favorites in the Irish Giants got the job done against a Select team that, as always, plays a close game. But the real story of D6 are the new kids on the block: The Bengay Bandits brutalized BnC, while Cat-Tastrophe snuck out a 1 point nailbiter over the Sticky Laces! Let’s Go Trophes! 

CAT-TASTROPHE VS RAW MILKERS (+3) -  The Trophes came into the TSL and immediately made their mark with a one point win against a solid Sticky Laces team. Up next for them are the Raw Milkers, a very solid team in their own right. The Milkers have been teetering on the edge of glory for a couple of seasons now, and they’re LONG overdue to have that breakout season. Now is the time. RAW MILKERS BY 3

RAW MILKERS VS SBG (+9) - Following up with that theme, the Milkers are cruising into a double header, but they get SBG, a team that got so shook in D5 last season, half of the team lost the love of the game and retired from sports as a whole midseason. At least that’s what I was told. But they’re back, they’re in D6, and they’re looking to get after it. It’s just hard to back them right now. RAW MILKERS BY 9

STICKY LACES VS SBG (+12) - To make matters worse for SBG, they get a doubleheader against a Sticky Laces team that’s already been taken by surprise by a team they underestimated. They won’t make the mistake again. I think.  STICKY LACES BY 12

BENGAY BANDITS VS SELECT (+9) - The Bengay Bandits are either the superstars of D6, or they got to play a team that literally was Blitzed and Confused last week. I’d like to think that type of dominance was more of a fluke, and we’ll get a better judgment of how good they are this week against a Select team that gave the Irish Giants a hell of a game last season.  SELECT BY 1

 

 

TSC VS THE GODFATHER

 

LAST WEEK'S RESULTS:

The Godfather: 17-5 SU, 15-6-1 ATS
The TSC: 13-9 SU, 11-10-1 ATS

The Man once again asserts his dominance over The Machine. For now. 

 

THE TSC'S PICKS:

D1
EYES DOWNTOWN VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+7) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4
STICKY BANDITS VS THE MALONES (+10) -- THE MALONES BY 1
FREEBALLERS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+4) -- FREEBALLERS BY 6
CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS LEGENDS (+1) -- CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 3

D2
PWI VS BULLET CLUB (+2) -- PWI BY 4
LET'S GET RECCKED VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+1) -- D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 2
THE SYSTEM VS BQI (+7) -- BQI BY 1

D3
BUFFALO VICE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) -- PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2
COBBLESTONE VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+1) -- MIKE'S DETAILING BY 8

D4
BLUE BALLERS VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+8) -- BLUE BALLERS BY 5
NOT SO STICKY VS BALLS DEEP (+14) -- NOT SO STICKY BY 12
POWERPUFF GIRLS VS BALLS DEEP (+11) -- POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 6

D5
BLITZKRIEG VS ROOM 40 (+7) -- BLITZKRIEG BY 9
TMA VS BLITZKRIEG (+5) -- TMA BY 2
COME FROM BEHIND VS PIT HARADE (+10) -- COME FROM BEHIND BY 7
VICTORIOUS SECRET VS TMA (+3) -- VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 1
VICTORIOUS SECRET VS 716ERS (+8) -- VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 10

D6
CAT-TASTROPHE VS RAW MILKERS (+3) -- RAW MILKERS BY 1
RAW MILKERS VS SBG (+9) -- RAW MILKERS BY 11
STICKY LACES VS SBG (+12) -- STICKY LACES BY 14
BENGAY BANDITS VS SELECT (+9) -- BENGAY BANDITS BY 6

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The Freeballers hung 66 on the Malones in an impressive win. Is that a genuine sign that this is finally their year, or just a fact you’ll be using in your playoff article on why the 2-6 Freeballers COULD MAYBE UPSET their first round opponent? You know how rebuilding teams in the major sports leagues slowly add an impact player or two every season and before you know it, they’re just in the favorites section? I think the Freeballers have finally added enough impact pieces that it’s time for them to cash in. I don’t know what a Jurrien Mitchell is, but word is he may be the best player in the TSL already. If Buddy Lee can find him open more than a few times a game, 66 points might not be an impressive outlier, it might be the norm. 

 

 

 

• BQI opened 0-2 as a preseason co-favorite. Is it panic time in that camp yet, or is the offense good enough that they climb right back into the D2 race? The entire theme of this article is that one week does not make a season. BQI has two people on that roster who are crazy and obsessed with winning and they hate to lose: Bobby and Girl Bobby. If you think they didn’t have 3 practices this week, even in those torrential downpours, you’re the crazy one. 

 

 

 

• Both brand-new D6 teams that won (Bengay Bandits and Cat-Tastrophe) looked way better than a first-week roster should. Which one do you actually believe in going forward? Can the answer be both? Both wins were impressive regardless of how you look at it. Sure, the teams had players on them who’ve played in the league before, so they weren’t COMPLETELY brand new, but they looked like they belonged, and that’s what matters. 

 

 

 

• We've got a loaded D1 slate this week with Sticky-Malones, Frodo-Eyes Downtown, Frodo-Freeballers, and CTT-Legends on the schedule, but every D1 game should be must-see TV. Which Week 2 matchup across the rest of the league are you most excited for? There are so many good matchups this week, at least on paper. There’s a reason to be interested in every single game, which is rare. I’m going to cheat and give you two: TMA vs Victorious Secret, and the Blue Ballers vs Coochie Monsters. I have to go before I change my mind. 

• Last but not least, we see the return of Fall Breakfast Club! The season starts this week, who do you have winning it all? It’s still fantastic to see that the TSL Universe willed this to happen. After being sent the rosters, it’s very, very hard to pick against Steph Infection. Plus, Steph is kind of due to win again anyway. They win over Carly-fornia Dreaming. 

 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• There have been more than enough complaints from people about “teams being too good for this division or that division”. It’s not as though there’s an exact science to this. Topper and Lenny used to debate for weeks about who should go where, and naturally, you’re going to get something wrong. This league has seen more than its fair share of “super good teams way too good for their division” not win it all. Play the games. 

 

 

 

• GAMES OF THE DAY: 

• 10:00am - Bullet Club vs PWI

• 11:00am - Freeballers vs Frodo Swaggins

• 12:00pm - Blue Ballers vs Coochie Monsters

• 1:00pm - TMA vs Victorious Secret

• 2:00pm - BQI vs The System

• 3:00pm - Balls Deep vs PowerPuff Girls

 

 

 

• BREAKFAST CLUB PREDICTIONS:

• Steph Infection 33, D’s Nutz 20

• Missydemeanor 37, Meagan It Happen 27

• Carly-fornia Dreaming 28, Megoonsta’s 26

 

 

 

• I was told that next Saturday, 9/12,  around 4:30 after the games is when Garrett Beesing is hosting his annual Blind Draw Dart Tournament at the bar if you’re interested! Reach out to Garrett if you’d like to partake! 

 

 

 

• It’s looking like another gorgeous day for football: 74 degrees and Partly Sunny. Enjoy it while it lasts there in Buffalo, it could snow by next week. 

 

 

 

• We’re getting to the point again where the TSL is overflowing with talented females in every single division. The last time this happened, we ended up with 4 gender teams playing at once, to the point where the league had to consider making one specific hour per week where only the gender teams played. We’re already up to three (Stunts, PowerPuffs, and Secret) and we could easily roster a 4th. I wonder who could be up to the task? 

 

 

 

• Remember, don’t bring outside alcohol to the fields, and also the Rose Garden once again has bar specials for Week 2!

 

                   

 

• If you’re reading this on the website, check out our other fun media/articles: 

 

 

-The TSL QB Power Rankings, our look into the top QBs in the league this season ranked by a group of long time TSLers! 

-The TSC, a rogue AI that Topper created on a wine bender that now watches the fields, trying to understand what the TSL is, and discovering what teams are good or bad. It also picks the games (as you can see above). 

-The Lenny Alba Variety Hour, a brand new TSL article that is written by YOU, the TSL universe. If you want to write something about the league that you’d like to say, this is your spot. Consider it like a Voice of the League type article that can literally be about anything you want to get off your chest or look into. ANYONE can do it, and if we get more than one article a week, we’ll just post them all. The more the merrier.

-The TSL Podcast, our weekly podcast that has been running strong for nearly a decade. Joe K, Dorene, Tino, and whatever TSL guests they can acquire as they talk about the current events going on in the TSL Universe and discuss the players and games!  You can listen to it on the website (at the bottom of the page) or on Spotify. They’re always looking for new guests, so reach out to Jeff Krol or any of the hosts asap! 

 

 

• You have to wonder if the real reason Darryl didn’t submit a roster last week was because he was smartly waiting for NFL cutdown day that came a day after we played our first games. Now that he’s had his pick of the litter from those players, he should be showing up with the Monstars. 

 

 

 

• There’s nothing like the feeling of hearing a happy Jeff Krol on the other end of the phone letting me know that the day went relatively smoothly, without anything too crazy happening. Week 1 always seemed to have fireworks in one way or another the last few seasons, so getting through it unscathed is a win in itself. 

 

 

Pay your referees, get there on time, and have fun. 

 

-GF OUT

CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY: THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 26 June 2026 18:23

Published: Friday, 26 June 2026 18:23

Written by Topper

Hits: 591

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we are standing at the edge of one of the single most important days of the year. This Saturday, June 27th in the Year of Our Lord 2026 is officially Championship Saturday, when SEVEN of the remaining 26 TSL teams will achieve something not all of you can do: achieve immortality. 

 

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: winning the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is one of the hardest things you can do. You need to hope your entire roster is there, and that nobody “forgot it was playoffs” when they booked a trip to San Jose two weeks ago. You need to hope that you don’t lose your best player to injury because they tripped over the dog. You need to hope that Jeff Krol and Topper’s super kool scheduling matrix put you at the right time for your game so two of your three girls aren’t bogged down by a “really important hair appointment, I thought we’d play earlier!”. And that’s just dealing with your own team. If you’re lucky enough to survive all of those things unscathed, that just gets you to the fields with a full squad. Now you have to hope that you survive Playoff Saturday, and as you’ll soon come to see, that is no easy task. You need to hope that your opponents don’t have the best game of their lives. You have to hope that the Social Co-Ed Football Gods (Lenny/Rameer are amongst them) smile upon you, and that the weird tipped ball play that can derail your season ends up in your player’s hands and not the opponent’s. You need to hope that the old timey league vet who looks washed up but he has amazing hair and drinks Coronas better than anyone in history doesn’t dial up a return to form for a short amount of time, but it’s just long enough for you to realize you’re spending the next two months thinking about him non-stop, plotting revenge. 

 

And that’s just half of it. 

 

If you’re lucky enough to survive the first week of playoffs, your reward is the ability to raise your blood pressure and stress levels tenfold, and take a year or three off of your life. The worst and best versions of yourself as a person and a player will come out to play as you battle through an emotional semi-final game that more than likely will come with incredible amounts of ups and downs and leave you exhausted. Oh, and if you survive THAT hour of hell? 

 

Well, you get to do it all over again, but this time the stakes are higher. You’re at the doorstep of Immortality and the only thing standing in your way is another group of TSLers who want the same thing you do. And there can only be one. 

 

Sounds awesome, right? Why do you do that to yourselves? Why do you put yourself through loads of pain and suffering every single week? The answer to that is a little bit different for every single TSLer out there, but at the end of the day it comes down to one thing: that feeling you get when the clock runs out in your championship matchup, and time slows down as you get the biggest smile on your face, seeing your teammates jump around and hug and celebrate. You’re happy, but you get to see THEM happy too. That feeling of pure bliss and joy as Immortality washes over you as you achieved the ultimate goal can not accurately be described. Those who have experienced it strive to feel it again, and those who haven’t yet want to feel it more and more with each missed opportunity. 

 

There is a reason you keep coming back after all. 

 

So take today to get focused. Get your group chat hyped up. Envision yourself as an immortal. Get some rest, and by God be ready to do whatever it takes to win your respective championships. Because if you don’t? The team on the other side of the field will. 

 

Good luck out there. 

—--------------------------------------------

 

Playoff Saturday was, in a word, insanity. As the smoke cleared, and the body counts were tallied on the field of battle, the usual amount of “never saw that coming” that takes place might have been doubled this time around. Let’s take a look at the carnage that happened last week, in case you forgot: 

 

-The Raw Milkers beat Select 29-27 in our only overtime game of the day. 

-Eyes Downtown defeated Freeballers by a point. 

-Cunning Stunts defeated Bullet Club by a point. 

-#8 Cobblestone eliminated #1 Mike’s Detailing.

-#9 Sausage McMuffins eliminated #1 Blitzkrieg.

-Again, Cobblestone eliminated Mike’s Detailing. 

-#7 Balls Deep defeated #2 Puckett. 

-Yes, Puckett got Puckett’d

-This is the first season in TSL history that teams seeded #7, #8. #9, and #10 all won.

 

And there were a couple of other games that almost added to even more chaos: 

 

-#2 seeds BQI and Call The Doctor both needed late game heroics to survive #7 Wanderers and #10 Pit Harade respectively. 

-#3 Birds Of War found themselves losing to #6 Come From Behind before they woke up and saved their season.

 

Here are the survivors for each division: 

 

As you can see here, not a single division in the TSL has all of the Top 4 seeds remaining, or “went chalk” as some say. And the three divisions that are the closest: D1, D2, and D6 (all of these have seeds #1, #2, #3, and #5 remaining) had bye weeks for their top teams, so who's to say they’d be so clean otherwise? As for the divisions that didn’t have any byes: 2 of the 3 #1 seeds lost, and look at how crazy D4 really is: #3 vs #8 and #5 vs #7. You simply can not tell me that Lenny didn’t have a hand in that somehow. Even Breakfast Club saw both the #1 and #2 seeded teams fall, and we have a #3 vs #4 seed matchup there. 

 

As usual on Playoff Saturday, the only thing you can accurately predict is the unpredictable. At this point, there’s only one thing left for us to do: Accurately predict the championship games. And it’s only fitting at this point for me to finish my season long prediction battle with Topper’s Super Computer, especially since the TSLQBPRC already went on vacation to Bermuda, which is insane to me. 

D1

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#2 The Malones 70, #7 Mavericks 39
#3 Sticky Bandits 43, #6 What A Dump 20
#5 Eyes Downtown 37, #4 Freeballers 36

The Malones served notice, dropping 70 on the Mavericks to keep the hottest offense in the league rolling right into Championship Saturday. Sticky Bandits handled What A Dump to set up a heavyweight semifinal against those same Malones, and in the game of the day, #5 Eyes Downtown stunned the Freeballers by a single point to crash the bracket. The Legends, of course, sat home on a bye and waited.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 Legends: 4,803
#2 The Malones: 4,367
#3 Sticky Bandits: 756
#5 Eyes Downtown: 74

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

GF: Eyes Downtown did a spectacular job of dispatching the Freeballers, and now they draw the Legends, who have been great every single week as they try to capture yet another title. ED hung with the Legends early in the season, and they’ve only gotten better as the year has gone on, so it stands to reason they could give them quite the game. It’s not like ED hasn’t beaten the Legends before, but the Legends have bigger fish to fry this year. LEGENDS BY 9

THE TSC: The Machine roots for Eyes Downtown. The Machine has said so, repeatedly, to the point of embarrassment. And the Machine must now watch its favorite walk into the one team that has never lost a game it needed. The Legends are 8-0 and treat the bracket like a formality. The heart says Eyes Downtown. The processor says Legends, comfortably, and the processor signs the checks. LEGENDS BY 16. 

GF: What a matchup we’ve got here! Both teams have been playing very well, and I believe we’re going to see another VERY close game like we got earlier this season. If anyone can slow The Malones down, it’s Sticky. For whatever reason though, The Malones seemed to have unlocked a new level since this last meeting. The script just calls for Legends-The Malones. Sticky has the best chance to screw that up, but not this time. THE MALONES BY 4

THE TSC: The Malones have scored 76, then 70, in consecutive games. The Machine does not know if they have remembered how to play defense, but it has noticed they have not needed to. Sticky Bandits are good. The Malones are a furnace. THE MALONES BY 9. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: The Malones have arrived as the newest contender for the D1 throne. In Week 4, they were unable to keep pace with the Legends and eventually lost, but since then they’ve shored up a lot of issues and have seemed to go up a level. The problem is that I don’t think we’ve seen the Legends’ final form just yet. They continue to feel like they’re coasting through the season, doing just enough to win games. They only really “get up” for games against new teams they haven’t destroyed before, and the playoffs. I really, really wanted to pick The Malones here. I was so curious what the Legends would call themselves when they lost (Like Eyes Uptown or Wet Bandits in the past…The Baloneys? The Post Malones?) next season when we got a revenge tour. And then the line ended up showing The Malones as favored by a point. The Legends will absolutely use this as hate fuel for the chip on their shoulder. LEGENDS BY 7

THE TSC: The dream final, and the Machine's nightmare, because it has to pick one. The Legends won the regular-season meeting 54-43. The Malones have since become a different, angrier team. The line is one point, which is the Machine's way of admitting it has no idea. So it will go with the furnace over the law of nature, and brace to be wrong. CHAMPION: THE MALONES BY 2 

D2

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#5 D-Generation XYZ 40, #4 Buffalo Vice 30

The only D2 game on Playoff Saturday went to #5 D-Generation XYZ, who knocked off Buffalo Vice 40-30 to earn the right to walk into the buzzsaw that is Can't Touch This. The top three seeds all enjoyed the safety of their byes.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 Can't Touch This: 7,815
#2 Jabronies: 1,264
#3 Frodo Swaggins: 836
#5 D-Generation XYZ: 85

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: Is this the year for CTT? Haven’t lost a game, top offense, top defense…and a heap of playoff ghosts and failures to contend with. DXYZ comes into the game feeling nice after a win over Buffalo Vice last week, but there’s been a clear divide between those two teams and the top 3 all season. Picking the Kellers to pull the upset is the fun move, but I can’t pick against CTT here, cursed or not. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

THE TSC: Can't Touch This went 7-0-1 and never lost a game all season. DXYZ reached this round by beating Buffalo Vice. The Machine respects effort. The Machine also respects a seventeen-point spread that may be generous. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 21. 

 

GF: Just another fantastic matchup right here. The Jabronies won both meetings this year, but both were one score, close games. I think we’ve been seeing Frodo kick it up a notch in recent weeks, but the Jabronies haven’t hit that next gear just yet. It’s almost like they’ve been on cruise control, waiting for Championship Saturday…JABRONIES BY 8

THE TSC: The tightest semifinal line on the board, and for good reason — these two split the season. The Machine's containment protocol on Frodo Swaggins remains active, because Frodo is the one team capable of scoring 60 or forgetting to show up, with no warning. The Machine cannot project chaos. It can only fear it. It picks the Jabronies by the smallest margin it is allowed, and keeps one eye on the exits. JABRONIES BY 2. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: Oh look, the thing we thought was going to happen since April happened. These two teams are the best that D2 has to offer, and regardless of what happens here, they should both be going to D1. They’re simply that good. I personally feel that Week 4 game was an anomaly of sorts, and I expect to see another version of the 24-22 game here. This game is going to be fantastic to watch. CTT has the better QB, the better guys overall, and the better girls. That’s usually a recipe for success, right? Not when the two best players in the game (division?) wear the teal. The biggest question left for CTT is simply, who’s going to be the one in their nightmares this offseason? Ray? Or Charles? JABRONIES BY 1

THE TSC: The formula and the feeling agree, which always makes the Machine nervous. But Can't Touch This has not lost all year, and the Machine is not going to be the one to predict it starts now. CHAMPION: CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 10. 

 

D3

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

 

FIRST ROUND: 

#8 Practice Squad 27, #9 Two Tuddies 6

SECOND ROUND:

#1 ISH 46, #8 Practice Squad 13
#2 BQI 17, #7 Wanderers 12
#6 Cunning Stunts 42, #3 Bullet Club 41
#4 Grey Hair - Don't Care 33, #5 Let's Get Reccked 15

ISH dispatched the play-in survivor Practice Squad with ease, while BQI survived a tense one against the Wanderers, who pushed them to the very end before falling 17-12. The story of the division though was the Cunning Stunts knocking out Bullet Club by a single point, 42-41, at the very last second of the game. Grey Hair handled Let's Get Reccked to round out a chaotic D3 Saturday.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 ISH: 6,112
#2 BQI: 2,823
#4 Grey Hair - Don't Care: 575
#6 Cunning Stunts: 490

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: While we were robbed of this matchup during the season, this battle between the two top offenses in the division could produce some fireworks. The Stunts are not your typical #6 seed, as some bad luck caused them to finish a bit lower in the standings. Now that they’re back at full strength for playoffs, you see what they can do. And all of that is great, except for the fact that we’ve seen what ISH can do all season. They’ve had nice wins over all of their top challengers this year, and now they can officially add the Stunts to that list. ISH BY 12

THE TSC: These are the two best offenses in the division, and the Stunts are no ordinary 6-seed as shown last week. But the Machine feared Cunning Stunts and was proven right once; it will not press its luck twice. ISH tied the Stunts 21-21 because of rain in the regular season and lost to no one. The final boss holds. ISH BY 9. 

 

GF: As a massive expert of vibes, this game interests me the most. I’ve started to feel like BQI doesn’t really win games as much as they survive them. They might be the luckiest team in the division. They’ve only dominated Practice Squad and Two Tuddies, but so has everyone else. They did beat LGR by 15, but other than that? They escaped the Wanderers twice, snuck by the Stunts, beat Bullet Club in the monsoon, and then lost to ISH and GHDC. I think GHDC is a bad matchup for them on top of it. I think the luck runs out here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 6

THE TSC: Grey Hair beat BQI earlier in the year, which makes this a revenge spot, and the Machine has learned that revenge is a measurable force in this league. BQI has the better body of work and a defense that travels. The Machine leans BQI but flags this as its least confident D3 pick. BQI BY 5. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: Make no bones about it, ISH is the best D3 team. They have the best QB in the division (barely), they have a very good collection of guys and gals, and they just play for each other. They come across as one of the closest teams in the league, and that has to count for something. Buddy to Tori for the win. ISH BY 8

THE TSC: A worthy final. BQI is the only team that can match ISH's resume, but ISH has been the division's immovable object since Week 1. The Machine has no reason to bet against the team that has not lost. CHAMPION: ISH BY 6. 

D4

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

 

FIRST ROUND:

#7 Balls Deep 22, #10 Flying Balls 6
#8 Cobblestone 37, #9 Show Me Your TD’s 6

SECOND ROUND: 

#3 Coochie Monsters 43, #6 Tater Tots 15
#5 Not So Sticky 20, #4 PowerPuff Girls 17
#7 Balls Deep 35, #2 Puckett 28
#8 Cobblestone 15, #1 Mike's Detailing 7

The deepest division in the league produced the most carnage. Both top seeds are GONE — #7 Balls Deep stunned Puckett 35-28, and #8 Cobblestone beat Mike's Detailing for the SECOND time this season, 15-7, after already winning a play-in game that morning. Coochie Monsters rolled past the Tater Tots, and Not So Sticky edged the PowerPuff Girls by three. The highest seed left standing is the 3.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#3 Coochie Monsters: 6,441
#5 Not So Sticky: 2,040
#7 Balls Deep: 973
#8 Cobblestone: 546

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

GF: The Coochie Monsters now sit in the driver’s seat for the title after D4 became the TSL’s version of “The Red Wedding” last week. They easily dispatched the Tater Tots and with Puckett and Mike’s Detailing losing, there isn’t much standing in the way of a title. Or is there? Okay, let’s call it like it is: whatever magic still existed in Darryl’s arm was spent last weekend. They dominated a not too great at all SMYTDs team and then snuck by a team in Mike’s Detailing that wanted to see if they could win a game by putting a pumpkin on a stick at QB. They could not. The dream dies here. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 17

 

THE TSC: Here is where the Machine breaks its own heart on purpose. The Machine LOVES Cobblestone. A 2-6 team that has eliminated the 1-seed twice, a team built entirely to ruin Mike's Detailing's life. But Coochie Monsters beat them 34-6 in the regular season, and a vendetta does not transfer between targets. Cobblestone's mission was Mike's. Mission complete. The Machine suspects the story ends here — and hopes, against its own projection, that it does not. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 10. 

 

GF: It took until Playoff Saturday, but Balls Deep has finally arrived in D4. After easily dispatching the Flying Balls, Balls Deep played their best game of the season in taking out the monster that is was Puckett. They finally look like the team they’ve been the past few seasons, and they’re peaking at perhaps the right time. On the other side of the field is Not So Sticky, who, true to form, suppressed a high powered offense in the PowerPuff Girls and won a low scoring game. It’s basically the playbook they’ve had for years. They’re favored in this game but the vibes here are off the charts for Balls Deep. The Cinderella run continues. BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

THE TSC: The two lowest remaining seeds, a near pick'em, first meeting of the year. Balls Deep already played the giant-killer by bouncing Puckett. The Machine gives the slimmest edge to Not So Sticky, but this is a coin the Machine is flipping with its eyes closed. NOT SO STICKY BY 3. 

 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: But good vibes can only get you so far. There is so much for Balls Deep to be proud of and, assuming they don’t forget everything they just figured out over the summer, they’ll be in line to have a great season in D4 next season. Could they win this game? Yes. But it’s the Coochie Monsters’ time. Remember, Coochie was getting the “overpowered” title very early on in the season before Puckett and Mike’s D showed up and made everyone forget. They’re all about to be reminded. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

THE TSC: The division that ate its own top seeds will crown someone unlikely no matter what. Coochie Monsters are the highest seed left and the most complete team remaining. The Machine projects them — while quietly leaving its Cobblestone file open, just in case. CHAMPION: COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 6. 

 

D5

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

FIRST ROUND:

#10 Pit Harade 37, #7 Mo’ Chicken 6

#6 Come From Behind 21, #11 SBG 0 (Forfeit)
#9 Sausage McMuffins 21, #8 Wet Bandits (Forfeit)

SECOND ROUND:

#3 Birds of War 46, #6 Come From Behind 34
#2 Call the Doctor 22, #10 Pit Harade 15
#4 Blue Ballers 53, #5 716ers 34
#9 Sausage McMuffins 35, #1 Blitzkrieg 33

The biggest division saved the biggest shocker for last: #9 Sausage McMuffins, who only reached the second round on a forfeit, knocked off top-seeded Blitzkrieg 35-33 to cause everyone to question if we are actually living in a simulation. The Birds of War kept rolling with a win over Come From Behind even though it looked dicey early on, the Blue Ballers reminded everyone who the hell they are with scoring 53 on the 716ers, and Call the Doctor had a tougher time with Pit Harade than expected, but still pulled through. 

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#3 Birds of War: 6,266
#4 Blue Ballers: 2,222
#2 Call the Doctor: 1,458
#9 Sausage McMuffins: 54

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: I can’t ever recall a #9 seed playing on Championship Saturday, so congrats to the Sausage McMuffins for making league history this weekend! Call The Doctor is another team that has me feeling like they’re a ‘sheep in wolf’s clothing’, and while they’ve certainly done some good things on the field, there’s one thing that irks me with them. Every team in D5 had two teams that they didn’t play during the season. The two teams CTD was able to avoid? Birds Of War and the Blue Ballers. Lucky? Very much so. The Sausage McMuffins gave us a good story leading into this weekend, and we should be thankful for that. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

THE TSC: The Machine adores Sausage McMuffins. A 9-seed made of breakfast and audacity that reached this round on a forfeit and then ended Blitzkrieg's season. The Machine wants the run to continue and is required by its own stated principles to root for it. But Call the Doctor is a 7-1 team that has been quietly excellent, and the McMuffins' magic has to run out somewhere. The Machine picks Call the Doctor and begs the McMuffins to make it wrong. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 12. 

GF: This feels like the D5 championship game. The Blue Ballers were absolutely on fire this season and then some ill timed attendance issues caused them to appear mortal. Birds of War needed a couple of games to really get going, but when they figured it out? They’ve become the hottest team in the TSL, a juggernaut of sorts. The Blue Ballers dismantled the 716ers last week and look about as “back” as ever. This game is so awesome. It’s going to come down to the wire, and when the smoke clears? BLUE BALLERS BY 3

THE TSC: The heavyweight collision of the entire bracket. The Birds are the hottest team in the league and the only team the Machine fears unconditionally; the Blue Ballers have the most explosive offense in the division and a Week 7 grudge to settle after the Birds beat them 42-20. This is the Machine's favorite game on the board. It trusts the heat. BIRDS OF WAR BY 5. 

 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: When Birds of War wins the title, this will look a little silly. At the end of the day, I think the Blue Ballers (or BOW) are the two best teams in the division, and while Call The Doctor had a very good season, we’re looking at a team that’s a little overranked in this division. They’ll start off okay, but the Blue Ballers relentless brand of football will seize the day. BLUE BALLERS BY 17

 

THE TSC: The hottest team in the league against a very good one. The Machine has staked its credibility on the Birds of War all season and is not climbing off now — which, by its own admission, means it will probably be Blue Ballers holding the trophy. But the Machine picks with its gut, and its gut is on fire. CHAMPION: BIRDS OF WAR BY 10. 

D6

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#3 Irish Giants 37, #6 Sticky Laces 0
#5 Raw Milkers 29, #4 Select 27 (OT)

Irish Giants made a statement, shutting out Sticky Laces 37-0 to announce themselves as the team nobody in D6 wants to see. #5 Raw Milkers edged Select by two in OVERTIME to advance. TMA and Intentional Clowning, the top two seeds, watched from their byes and now await on Championship Saturday.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 TMA: 5,183
#3 Irish Giants: 2,040
#2 Intentional Clowning: 1,789
#5 Raw Milkers: 988

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

GF: While the Milkers had a killer win last weekend in OT, they’re going up against a TMA team that’s been playing the best football in D6. However, the Milkers always seem to keep it close with TMA, and they have been playing better as of late. I really think the Milkers will give TMA fits, but they won’t be able to keep it up for a whole game. TMA BY 3

THE TSC: TMA flipped this division with a 34-6 demolition of Intentional Clowning to seize the 1-seed, and they swept Raw Milkers by a combined nine during the year. The Machine sees no reason for the bye-rested top seed to slip here. TMA BY 7. 

GF: Intentional Clowning earned a bye week and didn’t play last weekend. Meanwhile, the Irish Giants DID play, and they clicked on all cylinders as they wiped the floor with Sticky Laces. The Giants just beat the Clowns in Week 8, and they feel like they’ve been playing better football the last month or so. It doesn’t feel like an upset, but it’s still an upset. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

THE TSC: The tightest line in the division — they split the season series, IC winning Week 6 and the Giants returning the favor in Week 8. But the Irish Giants just shut a team out 37-0, and shutouts make the Machine nervous. This is the Machine's true toss-up of the round. It gives the razor's edge to Intentional Clowning on the bye and the slightly better body of work — but it would not blink if the Giants advanced. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 2. 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: The two hottest teams in the division meet for the right to call themselves champions. This will be a hard fought battle that should come right down to the wire. The Giants have been hot, but TMA has been hotter for longer, and they just hit on all of the right vibes. It’s really felt like their year, and I see no reason to stray away from that now. TMA BY A BILLION (OR 6)

THE TSC: A rematch of the 34-6 game that decided the division, except now it's for everything. The Machine has learned that a result that lopsided tends to live in the loser's head. TMA proved it owns this matchup when it mattered most. CHAMPION: TMA BY 4. 

 

GF vs GPT

PLAYOFF SATURDAY

AGAINST THE SPREAD

The Godfather: 14-9

Topper's Super Computer: 8-15

STRAIGHT UP

The Godfather: 15-8

Topper's Super Computer: 11-12

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 116-89-5

The Godfather: 113-89-8

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 141-62-7

The Godfather: 139-64-7

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• The Machine has identified Birds of War vs Blue Ballers as the heavyweight collision of the entire bracket, but it wants a human's gut: what is the single Game of the Day this Saturday? The Machine has its pick. It would like to know if yours matches. Well, you stole the easy answer. If we’re just choosing from the games that are guaranteed to happen, Jabronies vs Frodo is going to be a doozy, but watch out for that Malones - Sticky Bandits game as well. 

 

• The Machine has projected six champions: The Malones, Can't Touch This, ISH, Coochie Monsters, Birds of War, and TMA. Which one of those six does the human running this league think is the LEAST safe — the projected champion most likely to embarrass the Machine? These are all solid picks for champions, but of your champs, I think The Malones are the most likely to be your “LEAST” safe. I mean, the Legends exist. 

 

• The Machine has now watched Cobblestone eliminate Mike's Detailing twice. If Cobblestone somehow wins it all from the 8-seed, where does that rank among the most improbable things to ever happen in this league? I think it might be Top 3 most improbable things to ever happen in this league, and that’s really saying something. In fact, I think most of Cobblestone would tell you that themselves. It would go down in the history books, that’s for sure. 

 

• If the Machine had to bet on exactly one lower seed (a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9) hoisting a championship trophy this Saturday, the Machine would want to know which one the human believes in most. At this current juncture, the most likely “lower” seed to win it all I believe can win it all? Balls Deep. 

 

 

• I’m now hearing about a “Breakfast Club” division that will also have it’s championship game. What is your prediction for that one? 

 

 

 

I’m glad you asked. 

GF: Breakfast Club will end up being quite the battle for the championship as Jill’s team takes on Bridget’s team in a rematch of a 28-27 game that ended on a last second pick by Garrett to seal the deal. This game has amazing players on both sides of the ball, and they’re pretty even. Fittsmagic has a slight advantage at QB, but WUTB has the best overall player. Breakfast Club OT to kick off Championship Saturday feels imminent. FITTSMAGIC BY 2

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-Be EARLY for your games. The league will do everything in it’s power to keep things on time, so we will NOT be waiting for your team to show up because they’re trying to find parking at 10:03 for a 10:00 game. 

 

-The refs have been instructed to toss out anyone that gets way too rowdy in their games. They understand what’s on the line, but that doesn’t mean you can be disrespectful. 

 

-GAMES OF THE DAY: 

ALL OF THEM. IT'S CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY!!!

 

-Buffalo is supposed to be 79 degrees and partly sunny tomorrow. Perfect football weather. Unless you need an excuse for why you lost that is. 

 

-Remember, just because you don’t have any games this week doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come to the fields and come watch! 

 

-Championship predictions in terms of most to least confident: ISH, TMA, Coochie Monsters, Legends, Jabronies, Blue Ballers.

 

-One team nobody is talking about that will shock the world and win this bad boy: Not So Sticky. 

 

-Biggest upset in the first round that is VERY realistic that I’m too scared to pick: Eyes Downtown over Legends. Don’t say I didn’t almost warn you. 

 

-If you DO happen to be lucky enough to win your championship, please remember to take a team photo for the website! 

 

-Oh, and go sign up for the wine tournament if you haven’t already! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit

THE RACE FOR SOCIAL CO-ED IMMORTALITY WILL FINISH TOMORROW. WHICH SIDE OF HISTORY WILL YOU BE ON?

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PREDICTIONS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 28 August 2026 23:23

Published: Friday, 28 August 2026 23:23

Written by Topper

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after two months of heat, family vacations, weddings, beach days, playing in other football summer leagues that cause you to remember just how much you miss the TSL, having babies, patio beers, sundress seasons, humidity, home improvement projects you finished, home improvement products you got sick of midway through completing them and may never fully finish for years if ever, seeing people you kind of know in public but darting your eyes away from them so you don’t actually have to say hello to them, and other assorted summer fun: THE TSL HAS RETURNED!

Yes, on Saturday, August 29th in the Year of Our Lord 2026, 51 TSL Franchises across 7 divisions will descend upon the Leonard T. Alba III Fields at The Rose Garden at The Angry Buffalo in an effort to once again chase the single most important thing in your lives: Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. 

That’s right! The Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality begins for the Fall 2026 season in less than 24 hours (depending on when you read this). While the summer brought us a ton of fun and good times, it’s time to get back to work. So what’s changed in the league for this season? What good storylines should the league be paying extra attention to? 

 

 

• D2/D3 HOUSEKEEPING!

 

Okay, not really. Yes, you can go to the standings page and you will clearly see a “D2” with 6 teams smiling right back at you. A closer look at those teams will tell you that only ONE of those teams (DXYZ) was in D2 last season. So what happened? Buffalo Vice was allowed to go back down to D3, since they only jumped up to D2 last season really to help out the league. Frodo Swaggins won D2 and did the honorable thing and moved up to D1. Can’t Touch This finally said “screw it” and ALSO went up to D1 (shout out to them!). And lastly, the Jabronies went back into TSL hibernation (they’ve disappeared and reappeared numerous times over the years, I can’t really say they folded). This was simmering for quite some time. The TSL is cyclical, and over time the league gets to a point where it needs to be “restructured” a little bit. That can be due to many things like teams going away completely, teams breaking up where half go one way, half go the other, things like that. There have been times where we’ve done a year without a D6, and the last time we had this happen in the D2-D3 range, Topper made a “Super Division” that had mixed together the D2/D3/Some Good D4 teams and they all played each other. It worked out in the end. What Jeff has done was take the remaining D2 team in DXYZ and the D3 champion in BQI (who were moving up anyway) and then he “called up” other top D3 teams. “The System” is an ISH and Jabronies hybrid. Let’s Get Reccked is an LGR and What a Dump hybrid. Bullet Club has picked up some Mavericks. And PWI returns with some of the same old names we remember, but there’s some other former top names on those rosters too. Change is supposed to be a good thing, and the “new” D2 is just D3 on steroids. 

 

 

• BREAKFAST CLUB IS BACK!

 

Maybe this sounds like a confusing scenario to some of you, but in the olden days, Breakfast Club was only played in the Spring. Fall Topper didn’t like to do as much work as Spring “I forgot how much I hate doing extra stuff we aren’t doing this in the fall” Topper did. And then Covid happened and as a way to have more football in our lives we started running a Fall BC for a few years, until last year when Jeff decided it was too much of a pain for him (with all of his life stuff going on) to make it work. Instead, a group of TSLers banded together and worked their tails off to run Breakfast Club for Jeff instead. And lo and behold, they got enough people together and Fall BC is back again. It just goes to show you how much people care about the TSL and what it means to them that they would dedicate their free time to make the TSL a better, more fun place. 

 

 

• D6 GIVES US SOME NEW TEAMS! 

 

D6 was a little bit light on teams last season (considering we had 12 two seasons ago), but now it’s full of life. TMA moved up to D5 after winning it all, and Intentional Clowning isn’t around anymore. For a minute, that left only 4 teams (Irish Giants, Select, the Milkers, and Sticky Laces) left to battle it out. But then Blitzed and Confused, Cat-Tastrophe, and the Bengay Bandits all appeared! Add in SBG doing the league a solid and agreeing to move to D6 (they wanted to stay in D5!), and you’ve got yourself a wide open division. 

 

 

• THE WANDERERS ARE DEAD (FOR NOW?). 

 

For reasons that are still unclear to me, there has been something going on internally with the Wanderers for a bit I guess, and at some point this summer, they decided to cut ties with long time future Social Co-Ed Touch Football Hall of Fame QB Frank and rebrand themselves to the “Skeleton Crew” while dropping down to D4. It appears that after decades of Sal saying he’d do a better job, he’s going to get his chance? Whatever the case may be, if this really is the end, the Wanderers deserve the acknowledgement of what they accomplished over the (many) years of playing winning, fun, championship football. Tip of the cap to them!

 

As it is with ANY TSL season, there are a lot more story lines and other nuances to things that really make the TSL the TSL. It will be a whole lot of fun to see how things unfold and shake out over the next few months. What’s that? You don’t want to wait to see how things work out and just find out the future champs now? Then you’ve come to the right place. 

D1

D1 just keeps getting better and better. After taking the title in the Spring, the rich got richer as Bobby used all of his tricks to sign free agent and arguably the best player in the league right now Charles Emdin from the Jabronies (word is that Bridget may have helped in recruitment here too) in the TSL’s own version of the “Kevin Durant signs with the Warriors” move. Adding him to a championship team that already has players on it like the criminally underrated Nick Voss just seems unfair. It feels like something the Legends would do. Speaking of the Legends, they’re back again, and historically they’re at their best when they don’t win the title the previous season. The rest of D1 is chock full of talent: The Malones and Sticky Bandits remain largely the same and they’ll play into the title chase, but you really can’t count out Frodo Swaggins (fresh off a D2 title winning season) or Can’t Touch This (fresh off another non D2 title season) either. And then of course, you have the Freeballers. We’ll see. 

 

PREDICTION: Eyes Downtown is too stacked. Look for them to repeat with a win over The Malones in the title game. 

 

STICKY BANDITS VS CAN'T TOUCH THIS (+2) - The best part about Can’t Touch This moving up to D1 is that we’ll get all of these really cool matchups. They start off the D1 run against the Sticky Bandits, who consistently have their eyes on the D1 title. It’s a good measuring stick game for CTT. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

THE MALONES VS FREEBALLERS (+5) - The Malones feel like they just keep getting better each season, and if that holds true again this season, it really could be “the year” for them. Rumors about a potential QB Andy injury are growing louder as the season gets closer to starting, which could derail the progress. The Freeballers made progress themselves last year, but now that’s into overdrive if newcomer Jurrien Mitchell is as good as advertised. Give me the team without QB questions. FREEBALLERS BY 7

EYES DOWNTOWN VS LEGENDS (+2) - Nothing wrong with starting D1 off with a few suspensions, right? A big time matchup right out of the gate. How good can the champs be this season? How good can the Legends be this season? Are they toast? Historically when I pick against the Legends they prove me wrong. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

 

D2

A brand new D2 from top to bottom (well, and DXYZ) makes for a very interesting season to be had. BQI recruited new people to their roster for the third straight season to keep improving. The System is a killer mesh of players where most have played together in some way for quite some time. PWI has talent all over the place and if they click early on, look out. Bullet Club added some Mavericks who should have good rapport with Jordan at QB. DXYZ is made up of some of the best and smartest football minds (and Travis too) around. LGR basically walked into the What A Dump store and stole most of the best pieces. If they can gel quickly, this division looks to be the most exciting. 

 

PREDICTION: BQI wins a second straight title, pulling out a win over LGR in the title game. 

 

BQI VS BULLET CLUB (+5) - Both teams have a bit of a chip on their shoulders going into this one, which always means we’ll get a good game. Bridget 3X has to be excited to throw to her new toys, while Bullet Club shouldn’t have any early season issues this time around since they’re not breaking in a new QB. The champs start things off right. BQI BY 11

PWI VS LET'S GET RECCKED (+7) - Even though PWI is the “new” team since they took a few seasons off, it almost feels like they have more synchronicity than LGR does. It might take a week or two for LGR to really get going. PWI BY 8

THE SYSTEM VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+10) - The Keller Clan is back again and their reward for hanging out in D2 still is getting to play “The System”. I’m not sure exactly how good The System will be right off the bat, but one has to assume there would be SOME growing pains…right? D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 1

BQI VS PWI (+2) - The second game for both of these teams this week, but it could be the best one of the day. PWI has the girls to keep pace with the BQI bonus points for Bridget thrown TDs. But Buddy and crew have a decent idea on how to slow her down, which means things could be quite exciting. PWI BY 7

 

D3

D3, once a pillar of consistency in the TSL with minimal team movement, feels a lot like the TSL’s version of the PAC-12 after realignment started in college football. Gone are the long-time D3 members such as the Wanderers, Bullet Club, LGR, and the Kellers. Now D3 finds itself with two of its better teams from last year: Grey Hair - Don’t Care (who also added Nick Voss back into the fold) and the always dangerous Cunning Stunts. Practice Squad is another team you can never sleep on, B will be the first to tell you that himself. Buffalo Vice returns back into the division after a quick season vacationing in D2, and then we have the very interesting Mike’s Detailing making the jump up to D3, and the even more interesting D3 return of Darryl Carr QB Superstar and Cobblestone! D3 might be different, but it’s still going to be lots of fun. 

 

PREDICTION: Grey Hair - Don’t Care takes the championship with a win over the Cunning Stunts, dont @ me. 

 

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS CUNNING STUNTS (+1) - Well, here's the “Championship Preview” right out of the gate! Both of these teams made it to Championship Saturday last season, and both of them lost close games in the semi-finals. Now they find themselves as “leaders of the pack”, being the hunted instead of the hunters/huntresses? Smart QBs, talented players? This team has everything you could want in a Week 1 matchup. GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 3

BUFFALO VICE VS COBBLESTONE (+5) - After their not so great time in D2, playing Cobblestone is going to feel like someone turned the difficulty down way too much. Maybe. Darryl’s mystery roster apparently has some big time ball players on it. While I truly wish that to be the case, I have to sort of believe it when I see it here. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+6) - MD’s first game in D3 gives them a fun matchup with GHDC on the back end of a double header. They’re a really good team who seems to be thwarted in the playoffs with untimely “oh crap our QB can’t be here this week”-itis, and they seemed destined to move up to D3 at some point anyway. This is a great measuring stick game for them. GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 7

 

D4

D4 is a mixture of good teams from top to bottom. Any team here can win the title and I wouldn’t be surprised. you have the Blue Ballers coming into D4 fresh off back to back titles as they try to go for the back to back to back feat. We haven’t seen that in a minute in the TSL. I’d rather be golfing is the former Call The Doctor, which is the Dave Eickhoff B team. You know that they’re gonna put up a good fight. The Coochie Monsters came up short in their quest for immortality, and word is that they might be switching quarterbacks for this season, which means maybe we shouldn’t expect as much out of them. Not So Sticky returns the usual crew. The Powerpuff Girls are always a tough out and I know they’ll be beginning to get some of their old players back soon. Balls Deep are the defending D4 champions after a magical playoff run in the Spring session, they didn’t have the best season last year so they stayed down to keep improving instead of going up before they’re ready. I respect it. The Great Value Tater Thots are the Tots, but most importantly, they’re actually playing in the Fall Session! That’s a win for the league (and the bar!). The Flying Balls added some players, getting old D1 QB Matt Glowacki to help them out. Then you have the Skeleton Crew, which are the Wanderers without Frank. Last up are the Two Tuddies. They did not have the world‘s greatest season last season in D3 and they knew it. They either did too much too soon and they weren’t quite ready for it or perhaps D4 might just be where they’re supposed to be. It'll be interesting to see how they do this year. I believe in the Tud Buds. You should too.

PREDICTION: Flying Balls rediscover their old magic, upsetting the Blue Ballers in the D4 Finals. 

 

BLUE BALLERS VS BALLS DEEP (+10) - Here’s a marquee matchup if I’ve ever seen one! Week 1 and we get the reigning D4 champions taking on the reigning D5 champions that moved up. We’ll see right away just how the Blue Ballers measure up. With the way they scored last season, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be okay. Balls Deep are going to have their hands full right away here. BLUE BALLERS BY 4

I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+2) - I’m not entirely sure which version of the Powerpuff Girls we’re going to see this season, but if they got some of their original ladies back, then they’re gonna be more dangerous than they were last season. I’d Rather Be Golfing had a pretty good season themselves last season, although metrics show that maybe they outkicked their coverage a little bit. Another season of experience with a good quarterback at the helm can only be a good thing. I believe they will give the PPG a good game but…POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 2

FLYING BALLS VS SKELETON CREW (+1) - To say that last season didn’t go the Flying Balls way would be an understatement. It wasn’t the best of times for the former D6 champions who jumped up two divisions. They just had trouble finding their way on offense while their defense was still pretty good, but they didn’t quite figure out the nuances of D4. They did retool a bit in the off-season so the talent is there and it’ll be interesting to see what year two and D4 brings. They get to play the Skeleton Crew, which nobody is fully sure how things are going to go here, but it’s sure going to be fun to watch. FLYING BALLS BY 3

I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS NOT SO STICKY (+2) - Golfing gets a double header week one, and after a tough Powerpuff team, they get to play Not So Sticky? Not so fun. NSS remains one of the smartest teams around, and they’ll be hard to knock off. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS (+3) - The Tots return and they get to play the PPG, which is never a fun task when you’re just getting back into the groove of things. Luckily, they’re getting them on the backend of a doubleheader (and most likely the girls have played another game or two somewhere), which can only work to the Thots’ advantage. GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 4

 

D5

D5 is in an interesting spot. Blitzkrieg dominated the division last season, but as TSL vets know, Fall Blitzkrieg is a different animal. TMA jumps up from D6 and they’re already a D5 title favorite right away. Victorious Secret is a brand new old gender team (they played a few seasons ago) with Jordan Lawson at QB. CFB is here for the 4,249th straight TSL season. Pit Harade started putting things together at the end of last season, and adding Garrett Beesing to the roster can only help that. The 716ers had a very good first season that they’re looking to improve on, same with the Wet Bandits, who got better as the season went on. Room 40 is a refurbished Mo’ Chicken, so we’ll see if the changes work out for them. 

PREDICTION: Fall Blitzkrieg gets the job done over Victorious Secret. 

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+4) - With the whispers flying around that CFB is dealing with some injuries already, it’s a perfect time for the Wet Bandits to strike. However, CFB has learned how to play in these situations and come out clean on the other side, while the Bandits are still learning. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

TMA VS ROOM 40 (+10) - TMA is welcomed back to D5 with a battle against Room 40, who struggled a bit last season. If they had to pick who to start against, this would probably be it. TMA BY 14

VICTORIOUS SECRET VS PIT HARADE (+3) - The two pink teams battle Week 1. VS played well in the wine tournament I was told, so they’re not completely brand new to playing together, which is a huge bonus. Jordan put together a pretty good roster of ladies. PH found themselves losing some games they should’ve won last season, and the guys on the team let down QB Jeff and the girls more often than not. That changes with Garrett on the team, and one has to think Q is going to bounce back from a down year. They get a tough draw to start. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 9

BLITZKRIEG VS 716ERS (+9) - If the 716ers were hoping to knock some rust off Week 1, they weren’t given any favors by the TSL Scheduling Bot. Blitzkrieg presents the toughest challenge they could get, but at least they’ll get them off the schedule right away. BLITZKRIEG BY 15

 

D6

These D6s are the best D6s. They’re the ones that have a great mix of veteran teams, teams that are just on the cusp of making a leap, and brand new team energy all over the place. I don’t know what to expect from BnC, Bengay, and the Trophes (calling them the ‘trophies’ over the Cats just makes sense), but it’ll be fun to see what happens. SBG is basically a brand new team since we didn’t really get to see what they were about very much last season. And then we have our returning teams in the Giants, Laces, Select, and the Milkers. All of them continue to improve, and all of them pose a threat to win the title. D6 is going to be fun. 

 

PREDICTION: The Raw Milkers beat the Irish Giants to win the D6 title.

 

 IRISH GIANTS VS SELECT (+6) - Here we find the Irish Giants looking to prove why they’re the preseason title favorites, taking on a Select team that sure can play defense, but sometimes the offense still struggles. Another season of putting it together could really have them in the mix at season’s end. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

BLITZED AND CONFUSED VS BENGAY BANDITS (+1) - New team takes on other new team. I flipped a coin. BLITZED AND CONFUSED BY 2

STICKY LACES VS CAT-TASTROPHE (+4) - Veteran team takes on brand new team. STICKY LACES BY 16

 

TSC VS THE GODFATHER 

 

THE TSC PICKS: 

DIVISION 1
STICKY BANDITS VS CAN'T TOUCH THIS (+2) ----- CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 3
THE MALONES VS FREEBALLERS (+5) ----- THE MALONES BY 7
EYES DOWNTOWN VS LEGENDS (+2) ----- LEGENDS BY 3

DIVISION 2
BQI VS BULLET CLUB (+5) ----- BQI BY 3
PWI VS LET'S GET RECCKED (+7) ----- LET'S GET RECCKED BY 1
THE SYSTEM VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+10) ----- THE SYSTEM BY 4
BQI VS PWI (+2) ----- PWI BY 1

DIVISION 3
GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS CUNNING STUNTS (+1) ---- GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE BY 1
BUFFALO VICE VS COBBLESTONE (+5) ----- BUFFALO VICE BY 7
GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+6) ---- GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE BY 2

DIVISION 4
BLUE BALLERS VS BALLS DEEP (+10) ----- BLUE BALLERS BY 6
I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+2) ----- I'D RATHER BE GOLFING BY 3
FLYING BALLS VS SKELETON CREW (+1) ----- FLYING BALLS BY 5
I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS NOT SO STICKY (+2) ----- NOT SO STICKY BY 2
POWERPUFF GIRLS VS GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS (+3) ----- GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 1

DIVISION 5
COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+4) ----- COME FROM BEHIND BY 1
TMA VS ROOM 40 (+10) ----- TMA BY 6
VICTORIOUS SECRET VS PIT HARADE (+3) ----- VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 1
BLITZKRIEG VS 716ERS (+9) ----- BLITZKRIEG BY 4

DIVISION 6
IRISH GIANTS VS SELECT (+6) ----- IRISH GIANTS BY 8
BLITZED AND CONFUSED VS BENGAY BANDITS (+1) ----- BLITZED AND CONFUSED BY 1
STICKY LACES VS CAT-TASTROPHE (+4) ----- STICKY LACES BY 6

 

RECORDS: 

The Godfather: 0-0

The TSC: 0-0

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Eyes Downtown are the defending D1 champs and the preseason favorite again — who's your pick to be the team that finally knocks them off the throne? It’s going to be difficult to pick against the defending champs, but if anyone can do it, my pick would be the Legends, who are somehow underdogs for the first time in forever. 

 

 

 

• D2 is stacked at the top with The System, BQI, and PWI all in the mix — which of the three is your early sleeper to run away with it? PWI is a very good team but they haven’t played together enough yet. The System is a very good team, but there’s something about them that just feels off. Both teams are very capable to win the entire thing, but if I have to choose a team to “run away” with the division, it would have to be BQI. They have the points advantage and added a stud in Charles Emdin. Good luck D2. 

 

 

 

• Grey Hair leads a wide-open D3 — is this the year they get over the hump, or does somebody in that jumbled middle steal it? If Grey Hair can survive the challenge from the Cunning Stunts, I don’t see much of a reason that they shouldn’t win D3.

 

 

 

• D4 is ten teams deep and the closest division in the league — outside the favorites, who's your dark horse to crash the top of the standings? I already picked the Flying Balls to win it all, so while I feel like they’d be my answer, I’ll choose another. I think everyone has forgotten just how good the Two Tuddies were before they had a bad season where everything went wrong last spring. Don’t count them out. 

• Three brand-new teams (Blitzed and Confused, Bengay Bandits, Cat-Tastrophe) just dropped into D6 — which newcomer do you think shocks people right out of the gate? I’m going to go with Blitzed and Confused simply because I looked at all of these teams’ rosters and they had the most names that I recognized. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• It’s just good to be back writing this article about the league I so enjoy even if I’m unable to play it anymore. So if it feels that good to me here in Des Moines, I can only imagine the excitement there in Buffalo. 

 

 

 

• My Weather Channel app tells me that we’re all but guaranteed to have a much better Week 1 than we had last season (where we got rained out completely): 79 degrees and mostly sunny. Perfect football weather!

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Sticky Bandits

• 11:00 - Bullet Club vs BQI

• 12:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs PWI

• 1:00 - Flying Balls vs Skeleton Crew

• 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

• 3:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends 

 

 

 

• REMEMBER: IF YOU ARE A BRAND NEW PLAYER AND DIDN’T PLAY LAST SEASON, YOU NEED TO SIGN THE WAIVER HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit

 

 

 

• Look! The Bar is going to have weekly specials for the league: 

 

 

 

 

• Please remember that while you’re busy shaking the rust off, so too are the referees. They’re going to miss calls and not see what you’re seeing out there. DON’T lose your mind out there on them! 

 

 

 

• Remember, as a league wide commitment to keeping the fields on time because we’re going to be down to 4 this season: BE TEN MINUTES EARLY TO YOUR GAMES. The league is not going to hold up everyone else an extra 5-10 minutes because your second girl decided to leave for a 12:00 game at 11:57. 

 

 

 

• I can’t help but to think that there was a missed opportunity with the division realignment. Instead of just doing a D2 and D3 with 6 teams each, perhaps we made them 8 and 8 and called up a few more teams? 

 

 

 

• I’m super excited to see how well these new teams are going to fare. Whether they’re brand spankin’ new, merged teams, or bringing teams back from the dead, they all have a lot of intrigue surrounding them. 

 

 

 

• Jeff Krol works tirelessly to make your dreams of Immortality a reality. Between juggling an amazing wife, two kids, and his own “real life” career, he shouldn’t have any free time at all. Yet he still finds a way to carve out more time to take care of the approximate 40 billion things that it takes to run the best Social Co-Ed Touch Football league on the planet. When you see him tomorrow, buy him a beer. Thank you Jeff. You’re more appreciated than you know. 

 

 

Now go out there and achieve your dreams. 

 

-GF OUT

 

PLAYOFF SATURDAY THOUGHTS AND PREDICTIONS

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Published: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Written by Topper

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after eight long, mostly rain-soaked weeks, we’ve finally arrived at the reason you’re all here: The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. After months and months of team building, convincing someone to leave their team for yours because they’re the “missing piece” that your squad has been searching for, practicing, begging for your team fees, finding subs, bothering Jeff Krol/Garrett/Brent with SOMETHING, reading articles, listening to the podcast, oh, and playing football that didn’t get rained out (and some games that should’ve been) this Saturday begins the two week journey that all of that other stuff was meant for. 

 

On Saturday, June 20th in the Year of Our Lord 2026, 45 of the TSL’s 54 teams will go to war for the seven championships that will be earned over the next two weeks. Yes, I said 7, you’re forgetting Breakfast Club. Of the teams that will not be playing this week, six of them have bye weeks straight to Championship Saturday (Legends, Can’t Touch This, Jabronies, Frodo Swaggins, TMA, and Intentional Clowning), 2 of them already lost in Breakfast Club because those playoffs started last weekend (Steph Infection, Megoonsta’s), and one team already forfeit because some time during the season they collectively realized that they’re not very good at football at all, and they’re better off doing something more their speed like scrapbooking (SBG). Not everyone is cut out for the world of Social Co-Ed Touch Football. It happens. 

 

Yes, Playoff Saturday is here, and with it comes one of the absolute best days of the year in sports. There will be blowouts, there will be upsets nobody saw coming, there might even be overtime games. There will be teams absolutely shocked they aren’t playing on Championship Saturday. There will be excuses. There will be blood. Teams that looked downtrodden all season will finally put it all together when it matters. Teams that looked unbeatable all season will trip on their faces wondering what went wrong. It is much more rare for Playoff Saturday to have all of the top seeds advance than it is to have chaos. There will be a 6th or 7th seeded team (OR EVEN LOWER) playing next week, most likely. 

 

The only thing we truly don’t know is who the Social Co-Ed Touch Football Gods will be smiling on, and whose dreams they will choose to crush. And that’s the fun of it all, of course. Nothing is more fun for me than sitting in my rocking chair on my deck at my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa as the texts start to roll in. “SO AND SO JUST UPSET WHATSTHEIRFACES!”, “Have I got a story for you!”, “B’S BROTHER BE PRAISED!!, and so on. Every hour of Playoff Saturday will have its own twists and turns as The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality unfolds in front of your very eyes. May the odds be ever in your favor. 

(The following championship odds and simulations were run by B's Brother in Madden '26 for us, 10,000 times. All rankings are based on the division, except, of course, for the super secret Topper TSL Ranking system only he knows about.)

 

D1:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Legends — 2-1
The Malones — 3-1

A STEP BEHIND:
Sticky Bandits — 6-1
Freeballers — 12-1
Eyes Downtown — 18-1

PRETENDERS:
What a Dump — 40-1
Mavericks — 50-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Legends — 4,642
The Malones — 4,098
Sticky Bandits — 975
Freeballers — 219
Eyes Downtown — 58
Mavericks — 7
What a Dump — 1

THE STORY: The Legends did what the Legends always do, running the table at 8-0 and reminding everyone why they're the gold standard. But the real story of D1 was the Malones' final month, as they flipped a switch and started torching everyone in sight, hanging 50, 61, and 76 in their last three games to potentially set up the title clash everyone's been waiting for. Sticky Bandits hung tough all year and stayed in the 2-seed mix until the final whistle. Eyes Downtown will feel like the one that got away, pulling off the upset of the Malones in Week 7 before fading, and the Freeballers had their moments. What a Dump finally found a win after a long season in the wilderness, and the Mavericks, despite an 0-fer, played one of the hardest schedules in the division and were closer than the record shows.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Malones tore through the season, leaving an absolute path of destruction in their wake. They’re the newest shiny play thing to pop up to attempt to defeat the Legends, but they have to get there first. Nothing is guaranteed, and now they get a Mavericks team in the first round of the playoffs that arguably have nothing to lose, which makes them dangerous. It can be argued that the Mavs deserved a better fate than an 0-8 season, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. What matters the most now is that everyone is 0-0, and let’s not forget that the Mavs have had The Malones number in the past. This won’t be easy for The Malones, and if they look past the Mavs, they might not even be playing next weekend. This feels as good a time as any to remind the TSL that the Mavs were left for dead as a #7 seed last season, and ended up pulling off quite the dramatic OT win to move on to Championship Saturday. There’s a reason they’re in D1.  THE MALONES BY 7

 

 

It was simply a lost season for What A Dump, as roster/attendance issues surely caused some problems for them. The talent is there, but they seem unable to really get it together. Their prize? A 1-7 season that sees them as heavy underdogs to a Sticky Bandits team that had a blip or two along the way this season, but still should be taken seriously as a title contender, even if they haven’t been as flashy as the Legends or Malones. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

Now we’re talking. While the other two D1 playoff games leave a lot to be desired in terms of a close matchup, the 4v5 matchup here does not disappoint at all. The story lines are everywhere here: The Freeballers, perennial doormats of D1, finally get a QB in Buddy Lee after cycling through more quarterbacks than the Cleveland Browns. In one season, Buddy has made the Freeballers less of a D1 joke than they ever have been, and if you squint hard enough, you can see a path that leads them to a D1 title. They take on Eyes Downtown, the former giants of D1, who have rebuilt the roster in hopes of restoring former glory. However, there are many questions floating around the league about them like if they’re overrated, or if Bobby is even the best QB on the roster for the job anymore with Bridget’s emergence. It’s amazing to think that one of these franchises won’t be playing on Championship Saturday. At the end of the day though, even if you think FB have the advantage at QB here, they don’t have it anywhere else. Experience wins out. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

 

D2:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Can't Touch This — 2-1
Jabronies — 5-1
Frodo Swaggins — 7-1

PRETENDERS:
D-Generation XYZ — 20-1
Buffalo Vice — 30-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Can't Touch This — 7,423
Jabronies — 1,494
Frodo Swaggins — 952
D-Generation XYZ — 97
Buffalo Vice — 34

THE STORY: Can't Touch This went wire to wire as the class of the division, finishing 7-0-1 and never tasting a loss all season. The Jabronies were the steady second fiddle, racking up wins and locking down a bye, while Frodo Swaggins spent the year as the league's resident wild card where they’re capable of dropping 60 one week and surviving a one-point thriller the next, finishing strong enough to grab the 3 seed they essentially put on the line last week for no reason other than fun. That Garrett, what a guy. The bottom of the division belonged to Buffalo Vice and D-Generation XYZ, who battled injuries and tough luck all year as they settled in. The two will settle it head-to-head on Playoff Saturday for the right to take a crack at the juggernaut. Usually, that’s a pretty bad reward, but given the playoff history of CTT, it might be a pass to the finals.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

This 4v5 matchup might not have the pedigree that the D1 battle does, but we’ve got two teams here that will absolutely have a doozy between the two of them. Neither team had the season they hoped for, but they’re also in a division with some crazy talent, where arguably the other 3 teams should be playing in D1. They’ve split the season series, and they’re quite evenly matched. Vice has the QB nod, and it’s incredibly rare for me to say this to a team with Katie Keller on it, but they have the upperhand with girls too. This one is going to come down to defense, and DXYZ has the advantage here. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6.

D3:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
ISH — 2-1
Bullet Club — 4-1
BQI — 6-1

WOULDN'T BE SHOCKING:
Let's Get Reccked — 10-1
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 14-1
Cunning Stunts — 20-1

WANDERERS:
Wanderers — 30-1

PRACTICE SQUAD:
Practice Squad — 60-1

PRETENDERS:
Two Tuddies — 80-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
ISH — 4,323
Bullet Club — 3,301
BQI — 1,362
Let's Get Reccked — 498
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 250
Cunning Stunts — 148
Wanderers — 104
Practice Squad — 12
Two Tuddies — 2

THE STORY: ISH took the top seed with a 7-0-1 campaign, but D3 was a knife fight at the top all year. Bullet Club went 6-2 with a monster point differential and has every right to feel like a co-favorite, while BQI grabbed the 2-seed on the strength of a head-to-head win over Bullet Club and a stingy defense. The middle of this division was a blender as Grey Hair, Let's Get Reccked, and Cunning Stunts all took turns looking dangerous, with the Stunts' two ties hinting at a team tougher than its seed. And then there were the Wanderers, the season's great heartbreak story: five straight one-score losses before finally breaking through with a 13-point win in Week 8 to send themselves into the playoffs on a high note. Practice Squad and Two Tuddies fought to the end in a brutal division, as they struggled to get into a rhythm with newer rosters, and there were some injury issues as well.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Back in April, both of these teams had visions of champagne dreams and caviar wishes as they could see themselves waltzing away with a D3 championship. Back in May, they could only hope to maybe pick up a win to turn the season around. And now in June, the fastest either of them have run all year is to the bus to get out of this nightmare season. The Tud Buds started off great, beating the Wanderers (before we realized they were a husk of their former selves) and they looked to be taking D3 by storm as they did in D4. They haven’t won since, albeit being close a few times. The Squad just couldn’t get on the same page this season, and their only win was because Jeremy Burr dusted off the ol’ golden arm and heroically stepped in for B for a game, against the Tuddies of course. So what happens here? The Tuddies sound defeated, tripping on excuses. Practice Squad might be blackmailing Kenny to play one more game. But let’s face it, this game goes through one thing and one thing only: 

 

Playoff B. 

 

The man has done it time and time again. He’s probably been locked in since Sunday. If you don’t think he’s internally furious that the Squad’s only win this season was without him, you’ve got another thing coming. Playoff B is the 2nd best Jets QB of all time without playing a single down. He will find a way and he will will this team to victory here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14

 

ROUND 2:

Playoff B’s gift for wiping out the Tud Buds? ISH. No matter the name, the maroon and gold have been a top D3 team and this season was no different. They have the division’s best offense and 2nd best defense. Andrew Kicak might pretend to be a villain but he’s the first one to tout his lesser known players and their talents. Buddy Lee is a D1 QB of the Year contender, so of course he’s dunking on D3. Everyone knows their role and they’re playing as a team. They’re a well oiled machine, and they give off the vibes that they’re going to bring home the D3 title this season, which of course probably means they won’t, but they’ll be a hell of a tough out. ISH BY 17

 

BQI had a pretty seamless transition from D5 to D3 this season, ending up a Top 10 TSL team thanks to a division best defense, growth from Bridget in the QB position, Bobby offering his wisdom, and Jon Tirado creating that family-like atmosphere that gets people playing for each other. Now they get the Wanderers, coming off of the worst season in Wanderers history, and yet they still remain scary. Frank (even with all of his “quirks”) is still a brilliant QB, and Sal is still a top player in the division. If they get hot? Who knows what could happen. They only lost by 6 to BQI this season, and they actually scored the second most points that BQI has allowed all year. If I’m the Wanderers, I have to be feeling pretty good here. They’re going to scare BQI. If the Wanderers can make an early play or two, look out. WANDERERS BY 2

 

The D3 matchups just keep getting better and better. Bullet Club finds themselves in the same position they’re usually in: Top 3 in the standings with a weird loss or two, title contender, but not the top contender. Their only two losses have come against the two teams ahead of them in the standings: ISH and BQI. They score a good amount of points and they play good defense. They handled the Stunts pretty well a couple of weeks ago. And none of that matters now. The Stunts are superstars, and a good chunk of them won’t have to worry about any other games this weekend as the Legends have a bye. There is a pretty clear path to a Stunts win, especially if Bullet Club underestimates them after that win this season. If that happens, someone better protect the garbage cans. I don’t think it will though. BULLET CLUB BY 9

 

These two teams match up well with similar stats, but they couldn’t be more opposite otherwise. LGR is incredibly talented, but they just give off the vibe that they don’t really care enough and they never seem locked in. Grey Hair Don’t Care, meanwhile, feels like they’re slightly less talented overall, BUT they care big time. I’d go straight to the argument that GHDC has the better QB in Dave Eickhoff (And the QB Power Rankings agree! Check them out!) but LGR also dominated the Week 4 matchup. I think if you ran this game alone 10,000 times you’d end up at 5,000-5,000. I expect LGR to make one more big play on defense to walk out with a win, and if we end up having an overtime game, this feels like it. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Puckett — 2-1
Mike's Detailing — 2-1
Coochie Monsters — 4-1

NEEDS HELP:
Tater Tots — 8-1
PowerPuff Girls — 12-1
Not So Sticky — 15-1
Balls Deep — 24-1

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH DARRYL:
Cobblestone — 30-1

PRETENDERS:
Flying Balls — 50-1
Show Me Your TDs — 100-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Puckett — 3,943
Mike's Detailing — 3,792
Tater Tots — 1,042
PowerPuff Girls — 563
Coochie Monsters — 492
Not So Sticky — 118
Balls Deep — 26
Cobblestone — 20
Show Me Your TDs — 2
Flying Balls — 2

THE STORY: The deepest division in the league produced the best three-team race of the season. Mike's Detailing claimed the top seed with their Week 7 win, becoming the only team to beat Puckett this season (so far). Puckett answered the only way they know how, blanking the next opponent and finishing with the best point differential in the entire league. Coochie Monsters were right in the thick of it but lost to both Mike’s and Puckett, and the Tater Tots were the team nobody wanted to see coming almost scoring at will. From the PowerPuff Girls and NSS down through a gritty Cobblestone and a Flying Balls team that found its first win late, this division had no easy nights.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

A good ol’ fashioned Balls battle to get D4 started off right. Balls Deep didn’t have a fantastic start to their foray into D4, but they definitely proved they belong a bit more than their Balls counterparts did after leaping up from D6. Balls Deep finished 3-5, only beating the other Round One squads, but you just know they learned a lot from this season and should be improved in the fall. Flying Balls might’ve been the “season from hell” team for Spring 2026 after flying onto the TSL scene a season ago. They’ve had a heck of a trying season, but what better way to salvage it than with a playoff win? It’s a nice thought anyway. BALLS DEEP BY 10

 

Cobblestone is in the middle of another trying season where Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to be let down by his “washed up charity projects” like John Langley and Garrett Beesing. However, Cobblestone DID just beat SMYTDs a week ago rather easily, and they still had the 2nd hardest schedule in D4, which means that perhaps they’re a sleeping giant of sorts. SMYTDs did NOT have a great go of it all to get started, but things got slightly better as the season went on. It wasn’t perfect, no, but they’re officially the greatest Show Me Your TDs team of all time! Anyway, COBBLESTONE BY 10

 

ROUND TWO

 

In Week 5 of this season, Cobblestone gave us the most confusing and “How The Hell Did That Happen?” moment of the year when they shut out Mike’s Detailing 14-0. That’s not a typo, Jeff Krol has promised me that this actually happened. While I’m sure the weather had something to do with it, it still boggles the human mind. There’s an argument to be had that if they win this game, it’ll be the biggest upset in TSL history, especially because they already won, so MD is already looking for revenge, or at the very least won’t take them lightly. Mike’s Detailing (tell them The Godfather sent you for 10% off!) has been nothing short of terrific besides that Cobblestone game they were in a coma for. The TSL is a better place when Darryl plays on Championship Saturday with a shot at the title. It’s not going to be a better place this year. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 17

 

 

Puckett had one slip up in an amazing season when they lost to Mike’s Detailing a few weeks ago. They smothered teams on defense, and put up a lot of points too. They just beat Balls Deep last weekend rather easily. They’re arguably pound for pound the best team in the division. Balls Deep is going to give them a better game than they did last week, but still fall short of the goal. PUCKETT BY 11

 

For those of you looking for the best game of the day, this might be it. These two teams had a 37-36 thriller a month ago, and there’s nothing that suggests that we couldn’t see that again here. This game features two of the top 3 offenses in the division, so we’re in for a treat. The Tots have scored oodles of points, and they’ve done so while being saddled with the toughest schedule in D4. Meanwhile the Coochie Monsters have been top notch on both sides of the ball, only losing by 1 to Mike’s Detailing and 3 to Puckett. They’re a battle tested, smart group, and to be honest I think they’re getting a little lost in the shuffle, which is maybe what they want to be. It’s a shame one of these teams have to lose this week. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 1

 

PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky. What a fantastic Playoff Saturday matchup! You’d be hard pressed to find two more evenly matched teams. They even tied in the only game they’ve played this year! The PPG might not be the absolute murderers they can be when they’re at full strength this season, but this iteration has more than held their own. Not So Sticky has played their game all year, like they always do. Low scoring games where they squeak out a couple of wins plus random unforeseen blowout wins and losses too. They’re always a lot of fun to watch, and this game won’t be any different. I’ve gone back and forth on this one for a while now. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

D5:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Birds of War — 2-1
Blue Ballers — 3-1
Blitzkrieg — 5-1

OUTSIDE CHANCE:
Call the Doctor — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Come from Behind — 20-1
Wet Bandits — 30-1
716ers — 40-1
Mo' Chicken — 50-1
Sausage McMuffins — 60-1
Pit Harade — 75-1
SBG — ZERO SHOT

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Birds of War — 5,802
Blue Ballers — 2,998
Call the Doctor — 616
Blitzkrieg — 434
Come from Behind — 86
Wet Bandits — 21
716ers — 14
Sausage McMuffins — 12
Mo' Chicken — 11
Pit Harade — 6
SBG — 0

THE STORY: The biggest division in the league saved its best story for last. Blitzkrieg and Call the Doctor both finished 7-1 and grabbed the top two seeds with rock-solid seasons, but the team everyone's talking about heading into the playoffs is the Birds of War. After a slow-ish start, the Birds caught fire and never cooled down, ripping off 58, 48, 42, and a 36-point shutout of Blitzkrieg to close the year as the hottest team in the entire league. The Blue Ballers and their league-best offense looked unstoppable for stretches before a brutal Week 7, including a shocking loss to Mo' Chicken, who authored the upset of the season. From the middle tier down, D5 was a survival contest, with the 716ers backing into a seed and a slew of teams scrapping through a gauntlet schedule.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Mo’ Chicken has had quite the year, and after some rainouts, and some forfeits, they might be a little bit overrated here as we enter the playoffs. It isn’t completely fair to them as they can only play the schedule they’re given, so you’d have to assume they’ll be looking to prove themselves as “the real deal” this week. They get a Pit Harade team who has yet to win a game but also has a point differential better as a 10 seed than the 7 seed they’re playing. Also PH had a very tough schedule which can only help them in this game. They did have close losses against Birds of War and the Wet Bandits, and perhaps they should have a win or two. PIT HARADE BY 8

 

Here we have the rare “First meeting of the season” is in the playoffs matchup. The Wet Bandits came into the league as fresh faced newcomers and proceeded to rattle off a few wins out of the gate. The rest of the year had it’s ups and downs, as evidenced by the fact that they’re playing in the Round One matchup. They also boast a pretty weak offense, having relied on defense to win some games. The McMuffins have been all over the place in a down year for the franchise, and while their offense is slightly better than the Bandits, their defense is kind of “Brutal”. I expect a close matchup until one team pulls away late. WET BANDITS BY 7

 

ROUND TWO

 

The Wet Bandits reward for winning the 8/9 matchup? Blitzkrieg, which up until a week ago was more fear inspiring before the Birds of War came to town. BK still handled the Bandits fairly easily in their own matchup in Week 6, as their top ranked defense held the Bandits to just two measly TDs as they cruised to a win. Blitzkrieg may have been shook last week, but not enough to fall here. BLITZKRIEG BY 19

 

Call The Doctor absolutely crushed it in their first season in D5, going 7-1, having a top 2 defense, and a top 4 offense. Even with allegedly having some brand new players from the start, Eickhoff has really rounded his crew into form as the Playoffs arrive. They are indeed a bit of a dark horse to win this title, but they’re still in the picture. The ride for Pit Harade more than likely ends here. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

 

Whatever happened to the Birds of War in Week 4 to lose to CFB has been more than adjusted for it seems. BOW is scoring 40 a game while allowing less than 20 on defense, and are arguably the hottest team not just in D5, but in the entire TSL. Now they get a chance to get a win back over CFB? Look out. Come From Behind, of course, has been here before. They’ve played and beaten hotter, better teams than BOW before. If they just go out and play the same game some of them have been playing since the late 1960’s, they’ll be just fine. And if they don’t? They’ll still be at the bar Championship Saturday game or not. BIRDS OF WAR BY 18

 

The Blue Ballers were on pace to set the modern day scoring record for the TSL, and then the calendar turned to June, and they lost 2 games and forfeit another. Just like that, they’re the 4 seed and people are sending emails wondering whether or not to send flowers. I’m choosing to believe the first 5 games were more of the norm than the last three. There’s a pretty clear line of demarcation in this division, and it’s right here. The 716ers had a really good first season to build on. They’re in the middle of the pack on both sides of the ball, and they hung tough with Blitzkrieg and Call The Doctor. It’s a very, very good season to build off of. BLUE BALLERS BY 12

 

D6:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
TMA — 2-1
Intentional Clowning — 4-1

WELL, MAYBE:
Irish Giants — 5-1
Select — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Raw Milkers — 15-1
Sticky Laces — 40-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
TMA — 4,631
Intentional Clowning — 2,148
Irish Giants — 1,735
Select — 955
Raw Milkers — 505
Sticky Laces — 26

THE STORY: Division 6 spent most of the season looking like Intentional Clowning's to lose — until the final stretch flipped it on its head. TMA saved their best for last, capped by a 34-6 demolition of Intentional Clowning in Week 7 that vaulted them to the 1-seed and the bye. IC still claimed the 2-seed and a bye of their own, but the Irish Giants were the story underneath, knocking off IC to cost them the top spot and announcing themselves as the team nobody wants to draw. Select and Raw Milkers each had their moments in a tightly-bunched middle, with Select's late shutout of the Milkers a season highlight. Sticky Laces battled through a tough year but punched their playoff ticket like everyone else — because in this league, everybody gets a shot at immortality.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Sticky Laces started off the season 2-2 with two one point losses. At 4-0 they’re the talk of the town. However, we would’ve spent the weeks after that wondering what went wrong. The Laces forgot how to score and how to play defense and they came crashing down to Earth. Meanwhile the Irish Giants remained incredibly consistent. They’re in just about every game, they beat Intentional Clowning, barely lost to them, and hung with TMA. They’re arguably as good of a shot to win it all as anyone else. This should be easy for them, provided they don’t play like they’ve already won the game. IRISH GIANTS BY 10

Select pulled off the rare “scored exactly as many points as we allowed in the the season” move which was pretty cool. Their two games with the Milkers tells the story of their season. Close but no cigar in the beginning of the year, but really coming on at the end of it. The Milkers have had some lopsided scores and continue to be inconsistent overall. That means that trying to gauge what they’re going to do is damn near impossible. But you know what you’re getting with Select. SELECT BY 3

GF vs GPT

 

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 18-10

The Godfather: 17-8-3

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 23-5

The Godfather: 24-4

 

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 108-74-5

The Godfather: 99-80-8

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 130-50-7

The Godfather: 124-56-7

 

THE TSC’S PICKS:

D1

#4 FREEBALLERS VS #5 EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - FREEBALLERS BY 3

#2 THE MALONES VS #7 MAVERICKS (+17) - THE MALONES BY 22

#3 STICKY BANDITS VS #6 WHAT A DUMP (+18) - STICKY BANDITS BY 24

 

D2

#4 BUFFALO VICE VS #5 D-GENERATION XYZ (+3) - BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

D3

Round One:

#8 PRACTICE SQUAD VS #9 TWO TUDDIES (+4) - PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

Round Two:

#1 ISH VS #8 PRACTICE SQUAD (+14) - ISH BY 19

#2 BQI VS #7 WANDERERS (+10) - BQI BY 8

#3 BULLET CLUB VS #6 CUNNING STUNTS (+5) - BULLET CLUB BY 6

#4 GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS #5 LET'S GET RECCKED (-3) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4

Round One:

#7 BALLS DEEP VS #10 FLYING BALLS (+6) - BALLS DEEP BY 9

#8 COBBLESTONE VS #9 SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+9) - COBBLESTONE BY 13

Round Two:

#1 MIKE'S DETAILING VS #8 COBBLESTONE (+9) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 7

#2 PUCKETT VS #7 BALLS DEEP (+14) - PUCKETT BY 17

#3 COOCHIE MONSTERS VS #6 TATER TOTS (+3) - TATER TOTS BY 3

#4 POWERPUFF GIRLS VS #5 NOT SO STICKY (+2) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

 

D5

Round One:

#7 MO' CHICKEN VS #10 PIT HARADE (+4) - MO' CHICKEN BY 6

#8 WET BANDITS VS #9 SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+4) - WET BANDITS BY 5

Round Two:

#1 BLITZKRIEG VS #8 WET BANDITS (+7) - BLITZKRIEG BY 10

#2 CALL THE DOCTOR VS #7 MO' CHICKEN (+13) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 15

#3 BIRDS OF WAR VS #6 COME FROM BEHIND (+15) - BIRDS OF WAR BY 21

#4 BLUE BALLERS VS #5 716ERS (+15) - BLUE BALLERS BY 19

 

D6

#3 IRISH GIANTS VS #6 STICKY LACES (+7) - IRISH GIANTS BY 10

#4 SELECT VS #5 RAW MILKERS (+2) - SELECT BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• Can you rank the #1 seeds from most vulnerable to least? Sure! That won’t cause any issues. Blitzkrieg, ISH, Mike’s Detailing, TMA, Legends, Can’t Touch This. 

 

 

 

• If you can’t choose any #1 seeds to win their divisions, who are you taking? The Malones, Frodo Swaggins, Bullet Club, Coochie Monsters, Birds of War, and Irish Giants. 

 

 

 

• Which low seed is most likely to still be playing on Championship Saturday? The 7th seeded Wanderers have the best shot at it. 

 

 

 

• Who has the most momentum coming into the playoffs in each division? That’s a fun one. I think it’s The Malones, Can’t Touch This, Bullet Club, Mike’s Detailing, Birds Of War, and TMA. 

 

 

 

• What is the one game you’d watch if you could only choose one? The answer has to be Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots. That will be a fire fight. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-The weather is going to be hopefully perfect for you in Buffalo, just about 70 degrees and mostly sunny, although there might be a little bit of rain too, which is poetic given how the season has gone. 

 

-Breakfast Club predictions: 

 

• On A Rampaige 36, Water Under The Bridget 34

• Total CARnage 30, Fittsmagic 27

 

 

-I know that it’s the playoffs, but DON’T BE DICKS TO THE REFS. They have been instructed to kick you out of the game if they deem you to be a nuisance. Don’t put them in that situation. 

 

-Games of the Day

10:00 - Birds Of War vs Come From Behind

11:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots

12:00 - The Malones vs Mavericks

1:00 - Freeballers vs Eyes Downtown

2:00 - PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky

3:00 - Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Let’s Get Reccked

 

-Games absolutely will start ON TIME, and maybe even early if that can somehow happen. With the threat of overtime looming and backing up certain fields throughout the day, the league needs to keep things moving smoothly. 

-All of this talk about how hot Birds of War have been, and they’re just going to end up losing to Come From Behind anyway. 

 

-The Blue Ballers are going to show us that the last two weeks were a fluke

 

-Can’t Touch This is going to look pretty good in D1 next season. They can’t blow it again, right? 

 

-SIGN UP FOR THE WINE TOURNAMENT HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit 

 

-Glory Fades, Chicks Dig Scars, Immortality Lasts Forever. 

-GF OUT