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The longest offseason in League history is over, and the first week of the 2020 COVID Comeback Season is now in the books.  We've got some new faces in the QB mix this year, and we've got some legends of the TSL returning for another shot at Power Rankings glory.  Each week we'll be reporting on the best of the best (or the worst of the worst, if we feel like shaming someone) so stay tuned and see how your QB stacks up.

 

The first week of any season is always the hardest to rank and causes the most arguments amongst the QB Power Rankings Committee.  You've got QBs who haven't even played a game yet; you've got people playing their first ever game at QB, so you don't REALLY know how good they are yet; you've got people who had monster games against teams you THOUGHT were okay, but then turn out to be terrible a few weeks later.  So how do we do it?  

 

Rule #1: Don't overreact to Week One performances.  People rarely go from superstars to trash overnight, or vice versa.  If someone's worthy of a spot towards the top of the Power Rankings, they'll prove it over time.

 

Rule #2: Always ask yourself the question: Who would I rather have QBing my team in the big game?  If someone's lighting it up in D4, that doesn't necessarily mean I'd rather have them QBing my team than someone that's struggling in D1.  This isn't a ranking of "who had the best week" (the Mountain Dew Me QB would rank #1 for sure)... think of it more as a ranking of "who would you most want to fill in as your team's QB tomorrow?"

 

So let's get to it.  Here are your Top Ten:

 

 

We'll start with your Top Three, who barely played in Week One.  

 

Bobby McConnell (#1) had a bye week for Eyes Downtown, although he's now 1-0 as the starting QB of The (formerly Matty's) Angels.  It took a walk off SAFETY to get the W, and we're pretty sure they were blowing teams out of the water with Matty at QB, but regardless of how it happened, when your top ranked quarterback in the League starts the season undefeated it should be no surprise that he keeps his spot at the top.

 

Chris Cole (#2) led Public Enemy to a 38-20 win over D1 newcomers Why So Serious.  Not enough to vault him to #1 yet... but he has a solid chance to retake the #1 Ranking (which should be named after him, he's held it so often) when Public Enemy takes on Eyes Downtown in the biggest game of Week Two.

 

Mark Dalfonso (#3) and Marketing Mayors, much like most of D1, started the season with a bye.  With no Week One games between Bobby, Chris and Mark, there was very little chance that the Power Rankings Top Three were going to change this week.  These are the undisputed best in the League right now, and they're not going to get punished or rewarded until they've faced some real tests.  Don't like it?  Join D1 and beat them.

 

After the top three, it gets much harder - with stats-God Matty Ice in retirement for the session, the #4 ranking is suddenly WIDE open for the rest of the League.  It seemed like it was Topper's spot to lose this week, but then he went ahead and did just that, losing three games in a day between Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, TOX, and as a sub for Dilfs.  0-3 is not the way to climb the rankings, Mr Commissioner.  We guess long offseasons can be rough on a gentleman of your, uh, advanced age.  We'd have punished you in the Rankings more, but again, we try not to overreact to one bad week (see: Rule #1 above).  Still, if the trend keeps up, Topper (#5) will be out of the Top Ten in no time.

 

So if not Topper, then who gets the #4 spot?  We really agonized over this, as there's no obvious answer here.  You can argue the merits of any of the other contenders, but we felt like Dean Thompson (#4) deserved it the most.  Peachy Platoon actually LOST this week on a walk off TD to Bullet Club, but Dean has been consistently great since moving up to the higher divisions, and outside of the "Big Three" he's the QB we would most want to lead our team right now.  Congrats on failing your way to your highest ranking yet Dean!  

 

That's three rankings in a row for players who didn't win a single game this week.  Yikes.  Let's get to someone who actually did.  Matt Newman (#6) comes in next, having beaten Jabronies 33-22.  The Sentinel (ALWAYS WATCHING) says this game was "pick central" so we're not sure how much Newman really earned this win, but he must have done enough to get the W.  Slytherin plays Peachy Platoon next week so Matt has an outstanding chance to vault up the Power Rankings if he can take down Dean.  We'll be watching this one closely.

 

Mike Thomas (#7) of the Sticky Bandits makes his debut in the TSL Power Rankings this week.  As a rule we don't like to put "new" QBs in our Top Ten until we're sure they've earned it, but since Mike took over as starting QB in last Fall's playoffs Sticky Nation has been undefeated, winning three in a row to take the D3 title and then beating the D2 champs (short staffed as they were) in the first game of this season.  Every D2 team played exactly one game in Week One, and none finished with more points than the Sticky Bandits.

 

It's more a testament to the success Matt Newman and Mike Thomas had this week than anything Vince Taverna (#8) did wrong, as he slips one spot in the Power Rankings despite AWDIQ winning their D4 Crossover game this week.  Beating a team in the division below you that was allegedly missing their starting QB isn't the strongest "statement win" you can make, though that's hardly Vince's fault, as he can only beat whoever shows up to play against him (and he did).  AWDIQ and Frodo Swaggins seem like early favorites for the D3 title and we expect Vince to have plenty of chances to rise in the Rankings again.

 

Joey Batts (#9) rises one spot in the rankings despite having the week off, as a result of Matty Ice and Mike McKenrick no longer QBing teams this session.  Joey's always a tough one for us to rank - on the one hand we put a lot of emphasis on wins and stats, and Joey didn't have either of those last season.  On the other hand he's also not afraid to play against D1 competition, and he makes us think back to Rule #2 above: who would you rather have QBing for your team tomorrow?  You could argue all things equal that Joey should be ahead of Vince, or Mike, or Matt, or Topper, or Dean.  We expect Gryffindor to win more games this season which will make ranking Joey that much easier.

 

Finally another newcomer to the Top Ten this week.  Scotty Drosendahl (#10) has long been a favorite of this Committee, mostly because of the emails he sends us hyping up his own greatness and offering his thoughts on other QBs in the League (can we print his nicknames for other QBs?  we probably shouldn't).  He should really have his own article on the TSL website - believe us when we say you would read it every week.  But we're not adding Scott to our Top Ten because he's hilarious or because of his spectacular hair - we're adding him because Frodo Swaggins has the highest Points Per Game of any team in the top three divisions.  Scotty seems to get better all the time, and with his 40-26 win over Untouchaballs this week he's earned his way into the Top Ten QBs of the TSL.  Selfishly we hope he keeps winning, so we can keep writing about him.

 

So there's your Top Ten.  Others in consideration this week included:

Pete Nguyen (Why So Serious) - despite throwing a pick on his very first pass, had a respectable showing against Public Enemy in his QBing debut.  One game is not enough sample size for us though.

Ward Blewitt (Morning Wood) - repeatedly hit Matt Orleski with deep balls to beat Hofbrauhaus Buffalo.  Great game, but again, we'll need to see him do it more than once.

Ricky Austin (Bullet Club) - missed the beginning of his game watching his daughter (friendly reminder: no spectators at the field this year!) but played great and threw a walk off TD to beat Peachy Platoon.

 

Can't wait to see what everyone does in Week Two!

 

As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  no D5-D6 games mentioned this week?  you REALLY want to know Scotty's nickname for Bobby McConnell?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Remember, with the COVID regulations we have in place at the fields this year, it's a lot harder for spectators to watch games... which means it's a lot harder for the people on the QB Committee to watch your games.  If we're not writing about the action in your games, odds are we didn't see it.  Please email us to tell us what you're seeing out there - make our lives that much easier.

 

What’s YOUR ranking?

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