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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 18 May 2023
- Created: 18 May 2023
- Hits: 530
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
We talk a lot about "sample sizes" in this article for the first few weeks of the season. "Yeah, Sausage McMuffins are 2-0, but have they even played anyone good yet?" It's easy to overreact to mediocre teams starting off hot (remember when Buffalo Vice was 2-0, but they hadn't faced a team with male receivers yet?) or good teams starting out slow (remember when Jabronies looked like garbage the first week? or when Can't Touch This was 0-2?). At this point though we're halfway through the season and we should have SOME idea how good people are. There's still plenty of time for each team to re-write the story of their season if they're not happy where they are (or plenty of time to choke away a great start!) but we're starting to feel more confident in our Power Rankings for this season and we are FINALLY ready to show some of those graphs that all of you (okay, a few of you) love so much!
You'll see that we decided to take a trip down memory lane in our write-ups below. So without further ado, here are your Week Four Power Rankings:
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Losing Streak 34-20
Remember when the Sticky Bandits were 2-7 just a few seasons ago? Mike's roster hasn't really changed much since then (it never seems to change much on the Sticky Bandits, who have been around forever) but Mike's productivity has. Sticky Nation beats Losing Streak to become the only undefeated team remaining in D1 (and that sentence that would have seemed insane to write in 2021 when those teams were a combined 4-14).
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 42-18, beat Tight Ends in Motion 43-14 (Legends), lost to Puckett All-Stars 46-17 (Cunning Stunts)
Remember when Joey's brother QBed for Gryffindor and Joey was just an awesome receiver? That has nothing to do with the QB Rankings, we just wanted to remind you that he can indeed do it all. Two more wins for Legends have them right in the hunt for the #1 seed should the Sticky Bandits stumble. Not sure why the Stunts aren't doing better.
#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 34-20 (Losing Streak), lost to Untouchaballs 22-18 (Mavericks)
Remember when Jordan had a gender team called Victorious Secret in D6? Those gals were pretty fun. Jordan stays at #3 in the Power Rankings despite his first loss of the season with Losing Streak. Don't like it? He still has a better record, more points scored per game, and a head-to-head win over the guy beneath him in the Rankings. Easy decision here.
#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Did Not Play
Remember five years ago in the Spring of 2018 when Eyes Downtown won their last D1 championship? Can it really have been five years since a TSL icon like Bobby McConnell celebrated a championship in our League? No game for Eyes Downtown this week.
#5 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 44-30
Remember when Travis was the QB for Breast Friends? That short lived (but awesomely named) gender team scored more than 40 points per game and then disappeared without a trace. No Punt Intended is not as attractive as Breast Friends was (no disrespect to JZ) but they're also pretty good at putting up points. NPI is the only undefeated team left in a very close division, having beaten each of their opponents in their first lap through the D2 schedule.
#6 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 54-25, lost to Legends 42-18
Remember when Grey Hair - Don't Care was End Game? Or HK7? Or Holy Kielbasa? Or any of the other names they used before they settled on Grey Hair - Don't Care? Grey Hair seems to have settled into a "middle of the pack" role this season in D1. Good enough that they can put up a fight, but not quite at the level of the top tier of teams in their division.
#7 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Did Not Play
Remember when Scotty Drosendahl was the QB of Frodo Swaggins and Garrett was just a douche receiver/captain? We wouldn't have guessed at the time that he'd become a Top Ten QB in D1 some day. No games for Frodo Swaggins or BAADies this week.
#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Mavericks 22-18
Remember when the Untouchaballs QB was some guy named Nolan Perry? Whatever happened to him? Well, he wasn't as good as Burr apparently. Untouchaballs took down the Mavericks this week to grab a firm hold on second place in D2. We'll pretend Burr's six-INT Breakfast Club performance didn't happen.
#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 26-20
Remember when Frank Laudico outdueled Bobby McConnell for the GameOn D1 Championship a hundred years ago? This actually happened! Wanderers win yet another one-score game, proving that if you want to be entertained at the fields on Saturday, you should park your chair next to the field with the tie dyed team.
#10 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 54-25, lost to Legends 43-14
Remember when Andy's vertical jump at a pro day in 2018 beat every single player in that year's NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis? If WKBW.com can be believed, that's insane. If we were Power Ranking the best athletes on the field, it would be Andy by a mile. Coed QBing is a bit different though, and while he isn't #1 at that yet, it might only be a matter of time.
#11 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Did Not Play
Remember when Bullet Club used to be QBed by Ricky Austin or Scotty Dro? Hey that's our second Scotty Dro reference on this Power Rankings, which is amazing considering he's not currently ranked! Jeff didn't play this week.
#12 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 24-22
Remember when Alex's dad used to be at the fields every week? That guy was a legend. He's missing out on some quality play by his son this season, as Let's Get Reccked have started their season with games against the top four teams in their division, and have two wins, a one point loss to Wanderers, and one subpar outing against Can't Touch This to show for it. LGR's remaining opponents this season have a combined record of 2-13.
#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Did Not Play
Remember when Dylan nearly led his team to the D1 championship game last Fall? Feels like a lifetime ago as Scared Hitless has struggled early this season. Also, "Scared Hitless" sounds more like a softball team name than a football team name, doesn't it?
#14 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Beat Cunning Stunts 46-17
Remember when Vince was the QB of All We Do is Qwinn or Quinn or however you spelled it? They were awesome back then and Puckett is awesome now. Puckett's wins this season have been by 38, 30, 28 and 29 points. This is getting ridiculous. Which team in D4 has a chance of stopping these guys right now?
#15 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to No Punt Intended 44-30
Remember only four years ago when Practice Squad was a D6 team? And now they're one solid playoff run away from making the jump to D1. No, they didn't win every division in between (they fell one play short of beating Mountain Dew Me in the D5 finals in 2020, which would have given them unprecedented championships in D6, D5, D4 and D3) but they're still an amazing success story in this League. B was the difference maker as this team became more competitive. The Squad lost to NPI on Saturday, but they're taking notes and STILL improving after all this time.
#16 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Beat Vaspian 27-26
Remember when Joe Miano was the QB for Interdimensional Lightning Falcons and he abandoned them for the Jabronies? No, don't judge him - you would too if you had a chance to play with Bro Kleckler every week! The Jabronies offense slowed down a bit this week against Vaspian but the final outcome was the same, as Joe picked up his third win in a row.
#17 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Beat Creekers 42-24
Remember when Travis Henry's Kids lost to Woodpeckers in the D6 playoffs? John Langley does! Of course John has improved tremendously since then and THK is one of the top teams in D4 (a mile below Puckett, but to be fair so is every other team in D4). Three of THK's remaining games are against gender teams, which used to be scary but this season hasn't been nearly as intimidating for most teams. Expect these guys to lock in the #2 seed for playoffs soon.
#18 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 42-32, beat Vaspian 38-33
Remember when Can't Touch This was the higher seeded team in the D3 Finals just last Fall? Yes, Practice Squad was the better team that day, but CTT has maybe the highest ceiling of any team in their division when they're clicking. Do you know how many times a week we have people at the fields tell us to watch how great this guy's arm is? Believe us, we know.
#19 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters
Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 26-20 (Itches and Ohs), beat Pit Harade 49-30 (GrASS Eaters)
Remember when football was supposed to be for fun? Loss to Wanderers, ejection from GrASS Eaters game. We were told not to comment on this any more, so we won't. Moving on.
#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated
Last Week: Did Not Play
Remember when PWI was just a cute darkhorse prediction in a division most people were SURE would be won by TMA or Come From Behind last Fall? And now Buddy Lee has a D5 championship under his belt. If people are constantly telling us how strong Ryan Dougherty's arm is, you should hear how many times they tell us "I think that PWI QB is playing drunk out of his mind". Believe us, we KNOW. Pretty good though isn't he?
Fancy Statistics Section
ALRIGHT we're halfway through the season, we can finally compare some teams! This is one of our favorite graphs that we've done in the past, looking at each team's point differential per game by division. If you're in the Green (more points scored per game than scored against), you're doing fine. If you're in the Red (more points against per game than scored), you've got some stuff to work on. In fact only one Green team has a losing record (hey Mavericks, work on that defense!) and only one Red team has a winning record (hey Balls Deep, keep doing what you're doing?). Yes, the graph is going to be very small, it's tough to cram 46 teams into one little picture:
What did we learn?
The struggles of Scared Hitless have been well documented in our website articles, but visually it becomes a little more obvious when you're staring at that -33.7 red bar above. Last session the worst team in the League was The Replacements who finished at -37.3 PPG. Scared Hitless is ten times as good as The Replacements, to be clear. It hasn't helped that their three games so far this season have been against Legends, Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak, which is a brutal start to their schedule. That PROBABLY means that they'll do better when they face the lower half of D1 going forward this season... or maybe it means that Legends, Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak aren't as good as the graph implies, and they're only doing as well as they are BECAUSE they got to beat up on Scared Hitless?
On the flipside, Puckett All-Stars have been the most dominant team in the League. Nothing surprising about that if you read Vince's write-up above. What IS a bit surprising is that the next two best teams (Legends and Southside) aren't even undefeated in their divisions despite their statistical dominance. Great teams CAN still lose, so maybe Puckett's latest D4 championship (which they've already won twice... why not try D3, Puckett?) isn't as locked up as we all think.
If we look at the difference between the best team in each division and the worst, you'll see that D2 is the closest from top to bottom with only 15.5 point differential per game separating No Punt Intended from Practice Squad. D3 is also a very tight division, and D5 looks fairly competitive across the board too. D6 starts to widen the gap a bit between haves and have-nots, and then D4 (thanks a lot Puckett) and D1 (sorry Scared Hitless) have enormous disparity between their best and worst. See below for a visual aid (yes, we made another graph to summarize the first graph)
Again, let's talk about sample sizes: with only a handful of games played so far, it's still VERY easy for a team to change the math above with one good game. If Scared Hitless even TIES their next game, they'll drop their average point differential by over 8.4 (still worst in the League, but not by much). And we counted at least 19 teams above that could very reasonably flip from red to green or vice versa with one big win or loss this Saturday. So while the numbers above don't lie, they're also VERY much subject to change.
***
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
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