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Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  

 
We have TWO WEEKS in the books now and every single team in the League has played at least one game.  Perennial winners like Eyes Uptown (Legends), Puckett All-Stars, Jabronies and Come From Behind are all winless.  Travis Henry's Kids are on top of the standings (after shamefully dropping down a division of course).  It's a crazy, upside down world, but it'll start to make more sense as the season progresses and attendance/schedule issues even out.
 
For now though, here are your TOP FIFTEEN Quarterbacks in the TSL (and, one might argue, the world):
 
 
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week:  Beat Eyes Downtown 35-32
We hope Sticky Nation isn't TOO offended to hear us say we did not see this one coming.  Yes, Eyes Downtown was without suspended defensive star Ben Stack, but they still boast as much firepower as anyone in the League.  Hats off to the Sticky crew for being the only undefeated team left in D1 after two weeks.  Their prize?  Eyes Uptown this week.
 
#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 35-32
One loss won't sink their season, but it will sink Bobby one spot in the Power Rankings this week.  This is probably still the best team in the League, and we wouldn't bet against them in any remaining games this season.  Prediction: Bobby takes back the #1 spot sooner rather than later.
 
#3 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games this week for either Battaglia team.  What a snoozefest for the rest of the League.
 
#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks
Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 62-30
How's this for clever football analysis: sixty two points is pretty good!  Another BIG win for the Mavericks (couldn't they have just replaced Losing Streak in D1?) who have staked out an early lead in the D2 race.  Regular season seeding may not matter for most divisions, but remember, the top two seeds will get a first round bye in D2, and Jordan's got the fast track for that through two weeks.
 
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week:  Did Not Play
Frodo Swaggins was off last week, and rumor has it Garrett was hobbled playing for Let's Get Reccked.  Let's hope it doesn't affect his QBing this week for Frodo's Eyes Uptown/Downtown Doubleheader.
 
#6 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week:  Beat Puckett All-Stars 30-28
Scared Hitless was just 2-7 last season and in 7th place (D2 doesn't even HAVE seven teams anymore!) when suddenly they flipped a switch.  Since then they've had a deep playoff run to the D2 Finals, and started this season 2-0.  They could lose every game for the rest of this regular season and STILL finish with a better record than last Fall (they won't... but they could).
 
#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 62-30, beat Puckett All-Stars 33-20
Getting beat by 32 points is never fun.  But if we're looking at the positives, Burr STILL put up 30 points in this game, which is actually pretty decent (the League average through two weeks is 29.25 PPG).  We don't expect a Matt Helm team to surrender 62 points again, so next time these teams play, it'll probably be a lot closer... we think.  Untouchaballs rebounded well in a bounce back win over Puckett to pick up their first win of the season.
 
#8 David Eickhoff - Freeballers
Last Week:  Beat Can't Touch This 43-20
It felt strange writing "David Eickhoff - Freeballers" after so many years of Grey Hair - Don't Care.  While the team may be new to Dave, the success is not, as Freeballers picked up their first win this season with ease.  Are Freeballers good enough to compete for the championship?  We're not sure we know the answer to that yet.  But their odds are a lot better with Eickhoff steering the ship.
 
#9 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 43-20
Poor Can't Touch This.  If the website is correct, they were 6-0 last Fall for about an hour, until they got destroyed by Freeballers 58-18.  Since then, they're on a 6 game losing streak, including THIS week's loss to Freeballers.  Ryan's still a blast to watch, but we would think it would translate into more W's.
 
#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week:  Did Not Play
No games for Wanderers this week, although Frank DID pull off a Buffalo Vice win subbing at QB (this doesn't affect his QB rating, but we think it's pretty cool)
 
#11 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week:  Lost to Scared Hitless 30-28, lost to Untouchaballs 33-20.
Puckett continues their "we're definitely good enough to be in D2, but not QUITE good enough to win yet" tour this Spring with another hard fought close loss to Scared Hitless, and a slightly less close but respectable loss to the reigning D2 champs Untouchaballs.  We'd bet they'll pick up their first W soon, but they'd better hurry... Those D1 crossover games are looming.
 
#12 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week:  Beat Let's Get Reccked 33-28
The TSL's youngest QB continued his hot streak as the Keller Whales outlasted Let's Get Reccked to start the season 3-0.  Wanderers and Malones are the only other undefeated teams in D3, and wouldn't ya know it, they are two of Keller Whale's next three opponents.  We'll learn a lot about how viable the Keller championship odds are in the next few weeks.
 
#13 Andy Strug - The Malones
Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 48-39
Why aren't the Malones given more respect around the TSL?  Andy has played one game this session.  He won, and put up 48 points.  It's not like we should be sleeping on the Malones because they're "new" either -- they DID make it to the D3 championship game last session, they've proven they can win games.  People (our Committee included) are probably focused too much on who the "big names" are in the TSL over the years and not on who's kicking ass right now.
 
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots
Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 33-31 (Practice Squad), beat The Roaring 20's 57-16
D2 wasn't the best experience for Practice Squad.  Fortunately for them, they're back in D3 and it looks like they're RIGHT where they belong.  The Squad has already won two games this session (almost as many as they won in the last year in D2) and B's playing with confidence every week.  Tater Tots were smart to put their trust in him this session, making the jump to D4 and just smoking a couple teams right out of the gate.  
 
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week:  Lost to Keller Whales 33-28
Let's Get Reccked had some injuries and absences this week, but they're a solid team and still expected to be in the mix for the D3 championship this season in what's shaping up to be one of the TSL's most exciting divisions.  LGR's only losses are to two undefeated teams, and their only win is against a winless team. 
 
 
Fancy Statistics Section
We HATE doing graphs and charts too early in the season before they have any meaning.  HATE it.  In fact, we hate it so much that we made a graph just to show how stupid it is!  Here is your "WAY TOO EARLY TO MATTER" graph of every team in the TSL and their average win (or loss) margin per game, through two weeks:
 
 
Why do we show this data if it doesn't matter (and you can barely read it anyway, with that tiny font)?  We like to look at the extremes of either end of the League to see how likely these teams are to keep it up, for better or for worse.  So who has the BEST point differentials in the League through two weeks?  Sausage McMuffins (+40 PPG), Tater Tots (+33.5 PPG) and Travis Henry's Kids (+31 PPG).  Are these "meaningful" numbers?  Well...
  • Sausage McMuffins have played a single game against a brand new team, which they won by 40.  Is it reasonable to expect they will beat other teams by a similar score?  No.  
  • Tater Tots have one quality win against Creekers (who we think are a decent team) and then a 41 point annihilation of the brand new "Roaring 20's" team.  They're a good team, but is the rest of D4 going to allow them to keep up this win margin?  No.
  • Travis Henry's Kids have beaten up on one gender team still finding its identity and one great team... which was missing all its players.  Are they going to be so lucky when they face a full strength GUCCI?  They might WIN, but it won't be by 30.  
 
The first team with a big point differential that we think might sustain that level of success throughout the season is the Mavericks (+19 PPG) and even there, they'll probably regress towards the mean at some point.  
 
On the other end of the spectrum, who are the teams with the worst margins of defeat through two weeks?  Come From Behind (-28 PPG), Dogg Pound (-22.5 PPG) and The Roaring 20's (-17.7 PPG).  Are THESE "meaningful" numbers?  Well...
  • Come From Behind played two games this season without their QB or even a fourth male player.  Not only do we expect them to bounce back from -28 PPG, but we wouldn't be surprised if they broke even on point differential by end of the season.
  • Dogg Pound and The Roaring 20's are brand new teams still figuring out how to win in this League, and they'll only grow in experience throughout the season.  Will either team have a winning record?  Maybe not, but they might not be getting crushed by 20 points per game by the end of the season either.
 
Our point being, let's not overreact to stats after two weeks.  The best teams are happy they're crushing teams, but that doesn't usually last.  The most miserable teams wish they weren't GETTING crushed every week, but the good news for them is that doesn't usually last either!  We won't know how good or bad anyone really is for a couple weeks.  Try not to freak out before then.
 
**
 
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  
 
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