Week 8 Picks, thoughts, insights and predictions

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Thursday, 14 June 2018 13:58

Published: Thursday, 14 June 2018 13:58

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6816

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them”

Andy Bernard

Things are starting to get good. WW3 is heading our way as we get ED/MM 2. Joey Batts has at it with his new mortal enemy Bro. Shari hopefully will make her triumphant return and like you I hope she B-LINES for Emily. 3AS has to have at it with Indecent Exposure. THE and AWDIQ are going heads up at 12:00. Poor Tight Ends in Motion will now scurry to get 5 games played in 2 weeks. Topper’s team is killing him, Joe K lost his QB, Public Enemy are 2-5, 40 Year Plan guy and Katie Keller are kidding themselves. Val Testa has threated to leave us in the fall. Hopefully Brother Nero and Ricky Austin have returned from the matrix.  Ladies and Gentlemen things are starting to get good. But with good there is also bad…..I of course am talking about pressure. You know it slowly starts to build . You start to not to breath as good. You get nervous. You can’t think as clearly. For 2 TSlers names JZ and Drew the pressure is “Franco” on. Right about now they probably are pasty white as they know their destinies and fate await them. One decided to play QB but now he has a team on the brink of playoff elimination. The other was fired and is trying to show the world that he was the evil genius not the folks that fired him. Ladies and gentlemen you can cut the tension with a knife. I feel bad for our 2 heroes Drew and JZ. Relax take a deep breath fellas it can’t be as bad as you think….or could it. No pressure this week guys…… no….p…r….e…s…s…u….r….e…..

Enter Week #8

D1 Game of the Week

Eyes Down Town vs Marketing Mayors +6: This is usually a great rivalry but let’s be honest it isn’t the same without Delecki. ED seems to be the team to beat in D1. They are cruising right now. Their QB is playing solid, their girls continue to produce and their guys are as good as it gets top to bottom. Turner and Co has the blue print to beat Eyes Down Town but do they have the horses? To beat Eyes Down Town you need to play solid mistake free football. I know I sound like a broken record but the plan is simple. Find Smith avoid Smith. If ED sticks to the plan they will carry by days end.   Eyes Downtown by 7

D2 Game of the Week

Hootie and the Bro Fish vs Gryffindor +4: The last time these 2 hooked up Joey Batts had them but had an epic melt down as his team once again let him down. For the record Joey Batts was easily the MVP of this game but befell bad last minute luck. HATBF seem to be running away with D2. The only thing standing in the way of their title is the Gryff. Small problem though, Scotty M is gone so realistically there is no way the Gryff can run with this team. There is a lot more on the line than you would think. Joey Batts yearns for back to back league MVP’s. To do the unthinkable he must beat HATBF not once but twice. Bro is killing it and his time could be now. One must still wonder if the tom foolery of last week will somehow someway mess up the rhythm of this power house. I expect a great game here but I just think the loss of Scotty M will be the Gryff’s downfall here.  Hootie and The Bro Fish by 6

D3 Game of the Decade

Slytherin that End Zone +13 vs Mixxx: You have to love the build-up and the story line but once the pop and circumstance fades we actually have to play the game and when that happens SITE probably gets smoked. JZ is an evil genius. He knows how SITE thinks, how they pass, how they run he will be ready for anything/everything they try to throw at him. I still think its funny SITE is playing mind games with JZ when they stole his super sub Katie Keller. If JZ has one weakness he can out think himself. JZ will have a ton of pressure on him this week. He is expected to win this game and win big. What happens if Mixxx throws a quick pic or if Mixxx craps out on their first drive? What then? What if the first half is over and its 8-6 SITE? Will JZ start to slowly crumble in that scorching June sun? Will he fold like a tent as he slowly realizes that an upset is afoot? Can JZ stop the upset or does fate have other plans? You know what, now that I think about it SITE has nothing to play for but one thing…their super bowl will be this Saturday they only care about 1 game and 1 game only. That means they have nothing to lose. Their season is on the line at 10am as the only thing that matters is winning. Can they pull the upset? Will they pull the upset? Wow maybe this game will be closer than one would think…. Mixxx by 10

D4 Game of the Week

3^rd and Schlong vs Indecent Exposure +3: I am beginning to think 3^rd and Schlong and No Punt Intended will be on a collision course with each other in week #11. I am sure Indecent Exposure will have something to say about that. IE is the definition of balance. They are a strong team. They have a decent QB, a solid female stable and they boast both size, speed and skill. They aren’t overly fast or overly big or overly anything but they are one solid football team. 3AS is good. It all begins and ends with their top female Katie Keller. Stop Katie stop 3AS. IE will need to be on their toes as we realized something last week in the HK4 game, Austin Weber-Keller can friggin go man. He has blazing speed that no one saw coming. Kevin Keller is playing solid defense and 40 Yr Plan Guy Keller is a solid football player. 3AS will not kill you with down the field speed but they are good, they are smart and they will play a very safe very methodical football game. These teams match up quite well as they both play the same style. To be honest with teams matched this closely, look no further than the QBS. The QB who has the bigger day will be the QB that wins this game. I expect a barn burner in this one.  3^rd and Schlong by 4

D5 Game of the Week

The Tommy Hughes Experience vs All We Do is Qwinn +1:  I just don’t know. There is something weird about a bunch of D1-D3 people in D5 that makes literally no friggin sense to me. THE is 6-1 (shocking) but AWDIQ is a very decent team. They are small and quick like lil midget rabbits. They are fast and they will be tough to cover. THE runs a very simple offense that is all based on rhythm and execution. In theory AWDIQ will run THE off the field but will AWDIQ be ready for what’s coming next? THE will dink and dunk up and down the field. I reckon AWDIQ will do what everyone does and play off and THE will beat them at 6-8 yards and wonder how THE keeps scoring.  I mean God forbid if someone in D5 dares Tommy Hughes to throw a ball farther than 15 yards in the air as I don’t think he’s tried that in 3 years. If AWDIQ plays smart and uses their speed they could and should win. If they play off and play stupid they will be dinked and dunked to death and will have a very very long day. All We Do is Qwinn by 3

D6 Game of the Week

Celino Sewer Rats vs The McKenzie Agency +4: Both squads are having ho hum years as they are in the middle of the race. TMA was crushing people until the brutal Dilly Dilly assault on their QB occurred. They have not been the same since. CSR needs this win as it could improve their playoff standing as we get closer to the dance. TMA is a solid team with good players. This could be the week TMA unleashes their burner on D6 for some big gains. Can CSR keep up with the female attack of TMA? I just wonder if Ferger is better after the un-provoked attack by Dilly Dilly weeks ago. Ferger is the key to this game.  Celino Sewer Rats by 3

RANDOM THOUGHTS

-Maybe it’s just me but for some weird reason things just seem to be settling down a tad now. I enjoyed this week’s podcast but I am so not believing that Katie Keller and 40 Year Plan Guy are not destined to marry.

-Shredder’s have been looking better the past few weeks and have a very winnable game this week on the schedule with Buffalo Solar Solutions.

- If you asked me to list the team in each division that are getting hot at the right time I would say D1: Eyes Downtown  D2: The Replacements   D3: Morning Wood D4: Full Throttle  D5: Tommy Hughes Experience D6: Dilly Dilly

-If you asked me what teams should be worried as playoffs are approaching I would say: D1: Public Enemy D2: The Purge D3: Bullet Club D4: 3^rd and Schlong D5: All we do is Qwinn D6: Tight End Zones

-I can’t help but think everyone is under rating Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers. 3AS and NPI are getting all the pub but URTT can score and score a lot.

-If any TSLer in this league sees Val Testa at the fields this weekend I want you to walk up to that young lady and look her squarely in the eye then tell her “Don’t Go.” Don’t worry Val I talked to an associate who talked to Coach Jay help is on the way….

-Is Shari ever coming back to football so her and Emily can continue the most bitter feud in TSL history? Like you I too await this battle for female superiority. This fight is going to be good.

-This Saturday the TSL will be hiring additional security to protect all trees, grass, flowers and potted plants. Ladies and gentlemen if you see a big bully throwing plants or stomping grass or kicking tress please stop, yell “stranger danger 3x” and we will do our best to get you the help you need ASAP. Whistles will be handed out should they be required. As we continue to say do not walk the fields by yourself please make sure wherever you go you to take your league appointed safety buddy with you at all times.

-I know the Club is reeling but I really enjoy the battles between Joey Batts and Joseph K. Cintas vs Bullet Club should be a good one.

-Vandalay started out so well but they have started to fade down the stretch. Cunning Stunts MUST win this game at 12:00. No pressure Drew…no….pressure .

-Dark Knights could be reeling as one of their best players went down last week and this week they get The Thug Nation known as Dilly Dilly. DK must go at least 1-1 in their last 2 or they could be in trouble.

-Witter’s will be feeling the same pressure as Drew (though to be clear Drew is under 1000x more pressure than any TSLer league wide right now except JZ) and they have a huge test with Come From Behind this week. So who will be playing QB for CFB Paul or The Prophet the Most Honorable Dave Walter?

-I think this is the week one Bernal must reign supreme over the others as the world will be watching.

-Just we all are clear on sub procedures moving forward:

Please go to the rule book pages 2/3 Rules 5-7. There it will tell you what girls are allowed to sub in each division. If you need a sub you must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. before Friday at 10AM for that week’s game ONLY. You may choose anyone you wish before Friday at 10am as long as you follow the rules on divisions. Please note one girl is not allowed to sub anymore and (3) D2 girls may not sub in D1 but if you have questions on specifics email us and we will tell you who they are.  For example if you are a team in D2 you may only choose a girl in D2-D6 to be your sub. If you are a team in D3 you may only use a sub that is a girl on a D3-D6 team. If you are a team in D6 you may only choose a girl sub from division D3-D6. Once you send us an email will respond promptly in writing that your request has been accepted. If someone beats you to the sub it will be rejected and you will have to re-submit. If Friday at 10am passes you may only choose a girl on our USL only. USL subs do not have to be formally requested via email. We ask as a courtesy you tell us but you don’t have to. You must also submit in writing all guy subs and B Club subs. To be clear do not email, call or text Topper if you do this we will reject your request. You must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. only. If you use the “Topper told me it’s OK” excuse we will still suspend you so please don’t waste our time and please follow the rules as they are written.

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Will Cobblestone win a game this session? A very tired Sticky Bandits will be coming to town at 2:00. If ever there was a chance at an upset I guess this would be it. SB have been up and down. I so hope Darryl Carr QB Superstar makes his triumphant return and puts on a show for the ages. I am hearing rumors super sub Sam is back and this could help.

2.  What can we expect from the N W O vs The Purge game? If this was pre-season many would say this could have been the D2 title game. Right now both teams are reeling. N W O got beat by 5 people last week and The Purge has not been good. Brother Nero has not been the same since Brother Bowl.

3.  What will Tight End Zones do for an encore? Last week they lit the lamp with 78 points. Next up are Jabronies. Can a team score 100 in a week?  Will Jabronies be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

4. So who wins Hometech or Collegiate Builders? One struggles to score and one struggles to stop people. This one actually should be good.

5. Is this the beginning of the end for the Bambs? Say it ain’t so but I have seen this too many times before. I think we should get B’s Brother to MC a “peace intervention” for the Bambs and let’s get them all back together. Watching them get crushed like this is breaking my heart. This better not be it for this squad. Bambs it is not quite time to go softly into that good night….

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week in D3 where it will be soooooooo on. Will the game be good? Probably not but who cares. It’s time to get it on Hatfield’s vs McCoy’s style this week at 10am.  SITE will go to war with former skipper JZ. To make matters worse SITE stole Mixxx’s sub girl when they beat the Mixxx to Katie Keller. I so hope the league does the right thing and puts this game on Field #1.

2. Tight Ends in Motion have a lot to work to do in the next few weeks as they must get (5) games in before the regular season closes. It appears they have (3) scheduled this week. If you factor in girl games, and breakfast club etc etc there are going to be some very tired TEIM faces by about 3:00. One must wonder if TEIM is walking into a trap at 3:00 with #XTC.

3.  35-1 Morning Wood has been getting hot the past few weeks as they face off against a very up and down A&A. A&A has befell bad ref luck the past few weeks but continues to move forward. A&A is a very solid team that has it all. They have size, speed and know how. They have played in the big games. They know better than anyone play time is over and they have 2 more weeks to work out the kinks as the playoffs quickly approach, MW could prove to be a tougher test than one would think. I expect a close game here.

4. Full Throttle is on fire as they keep wining as they continue to get better week after week. A vert beatable AXA is up next. FT could continue their winning ways by days end again in this one.

5. Racks and Sacks continue to have New God’s number and draw them once again this week at 11:00. RAS is 3-0 vs The New Gods. I wonder if Ricky Austin has returned from the matrix yet. I keep hearing rumors Pete will once again be MIA. This one should be good as we all will continue to wonder if New Gods can finally break through vs this team.

6. 4-3 Puckett All Star fresh off last week’s Mixxx upset have at it with Uncle Topper and his 5-2 Co this week. I expect a very good game here. Team Topper must figure out a way to play better defense. PAS are a very solid very methodical team with a very good QB. Team Topper better be ready in this one. This game will be huge for playoff rankings as we head down the stretch.

7. All eyes will be on Witter’s and Cunning Stunts down the stretch as they will be fighting tooth and nail for the final ticket to the D5 dance. CS has at it with Vandalay while Witter’s goes to war with Come From Behind. I so hope this race goes right down to the wire in week #9.

8.  It appears we will not be participating in the 4:00 game this session. Hopefully we can re-visit the game in the fall.

9. I am sorry to report but apparently dogs are no longer welcome at the fields these days. All it takes is one situation and that’s a wrap.

10. If I had to pick breakfast club games I would say…Angry Tailors 34 Poppin Mollies 21. Chef Curry with the Shots 36 Taminators 27, Val Pal’s 31 Peanut Butter Kelly Time 28.

#DON’TBLOWIT

Week 6 thoughts, picks, and lots and lots of questions???!!!

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:33

Published: Wednesday, 30 May 2018 20:33

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6771

Enter Week #6

“TFTI   TFTI   TFTI  TFTI   TFTI   TFTI TFTI”

ELENA WITH AN “E”

No Punt Intended

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………

DIVISION #1

NEW GODS +1 VS MARKETING MAYORS:  It is becoming a broken record find Smith avoid Smith. If New Gods follow this blue print they should have success up the middle and to the opposite side. NG are a tale of 2 Ricky’s. If good Ricky shows NG should cruise in this one as they have skill all over the field. If bad Ricky shows up……MM are a solid team but it isn’t easy when you face a team with this much talent and you are short handed. It is becoming more and more clear to this writer that Delecki easily could be the MVP of this league.  NEW GODS BY 3

MARKETING MAYORS VS PUBLIC ENEMY +3: I have little doubt in my mind that New Gods will follow the blue print to beat these guys. Public Enemy however could be anyone’s guess. Sometimes this team falls in love with how smart they “think they are” and don’t just realize football is a simple game. The game plan is simple find Smith and attack every where else. The 2’s and 3’s of MM can’t go with Osika and Pauly J. PE should feast all day with the mis-matches they have but I still wonder if they will be stubborn or if they will just play smart football this week and take the W that is literally staring them in the face.  PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1

#XTC +7 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: I really have no clue who will show for #XTC, I don’t think they do either. . I do know that #XTC always gets up for this game and if they are going to bring the thunder this will be the week. PE has, for years, had a tremendous ability to carve up the #XTC zone and should once again this week. If Dubey shows PE would be smart to man up #XTC as Dubey can’t beat the man. If Dubey shows and PE gets dumb and zones them they could be in for a shocker.  PUBLIC ENEMY BY 6

DIVISION #2

THE REPLACEMENTS VS THE PURGE +4:  This one should be good. Both teams are heading in the right direction TP finally won but got lucky. TR are slowly starting to pick up steam. TP will struggle with TR has TR has 2 burners and speed is not something the Purge has much of. TP girls are good and will beat up on the TR girls but one would figure Burr and Doug should run all over the soft zone of TP. Everything begins and ends at BQ for TR. If their QB shows well  they win if he doesn’t they get smoked.  THE REPLACEMENTS BY 4

GRYFFINDOR VS THE PURGE +6: The loss of Scotty M could be catastrophic for the Gryff. Yes they still have your reigning and defending league MVP and normally that will be enough but can the Batman carry this team all the way to the promise land? TP is a hot mess. They got lucky last week and really haven’t shown much. They are better than this but have yet to show us what they are made of.  This is the week the stars come out as the MVP has at it with the Queen Bee. I so want to take the Purge here but they just haven’t shown me enough to do so…..yet.    GRYFFINDOR BY 7

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS THE REPLACEMENTS +8: HATBF are the class of D2 and seem to be on a one ticket to D1 at the rate they are going. They are crushing every single team trotted out in front of them. They are swift, quick and they can score at will. They can stop everyone they have faced. TR have started to show signs of life but I just don’t see them winning a shootout with a team of this magnitude. Last time out HATBF took a huge lead then held on did TR learn anything from that game for this week?  HATBF BY 10

N W O VS DMX +8: N W O is tanking right now. Brother Nero killed his team with a boneheaded mental lapse last week when they got shocked by the Purge. DMX is struggling on defense but a team that could be shocked comes to town this week. DMX can score points and N WO doesn’t really get into shoot outs so this game could be interesting. N W O lost their edge when Nero lost brother bowl and they lost their top girl. I see this game being a lot closer than one would think. N W O BY 1

DIVISION #3

MIXXX +1 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: Sticky gave Team Topper a beating last week and exposed some things. Mixxx comes to town and would like nothing better than to send D3 a message that they are D3 title worthy. JZ is an evil genius and will have something special cooked up this week for Topper and Co. Poor Topper can’t do this all by himself he needs help. Where is Davis? Why hasn’t Drew thrown this team on his back? Why do I ask so many questions? I see this game being a good one. There is a ton of pressure on Team Topper this week as they lost last week and if they lose again they could free fall. Mixxx will be ready for this one so TT better be ready for war.  1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 3

BULLET CLUB VS PUCKET ALL STARS +7: Puckett All Stars have settled in nicely in D3 and have shown well to date. No one likes BC since they turned heel. They should be in D2 and hiding out n D3 is kinda cheesy. BC has PAS pretty much covered all over the field. They have the better QB, the better girls and the better guys. PAS will give them a fight but I just don’t see them going toe to toe with this team this week. BULLET CLUB BY 8

SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE +8 VS COBBLESTONE: Cobblestone is struggling but look no further as the slump buster has arrived. SITE is not playing well but they have shown up the last few weeks. Cobblestone must get things going this week and they must do it quickly as playoffs quickly approach. It pains me to say this but maybe Cobblestone is destined for D4. I can’t believe Darryl’s supporting cast has let it come to this. Darryl shows up every week and literally makes it rain out there but noooooo no one helps him. They aren’t catching his magical spirals. They aren’t playing defense. OK fine so he throws one 8 feet over someone’s head. WTF go grab a 6 foot ladder or jump higher. I’m sorry this is just hurting me too much when I watch this team it is making me cry and making me sad and I am confused and I don’t know what else I can do say or say. Cobblestone players not named Darry Carr QB super star I am calling each and every one of you out right here right now at this very moment in time. I am calling you out to help your leader and our icon win this game. You owe yourselves and more importantly Darryl more than you are giving. God speed Cobblestone supporting cast it is now time to win a football game. COBBLESTONE BY 7

A&A +6 VS STICKY BANDITS: SB looked awesome last week in 2 big wins. A&A is at a cross roads. They have not played so hot and have had attendance issues but at one point it has to stop and the ship must be righted. If A&A is going to get back on track this is the week as playoffs are getting closer. SB are a very smart and a very methodical team They will bring it each and every week and they make few mistakes so A&A better be ready to go. A&A has big sped edges in this game but I am not so sure that will translate to a win this week. If you want to know where A&A stands in this division we will know right after this game. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

64-1 MORNING WOOD +7 VS CINTAS: MW started out so well but it looks like they just beat a bad team in week #1. Cintas are a pretty solid team top to bottom. They aren’t world beaters but they will show up each and every week and they will bring it. MW has been up and down to date. MW has 2 wins but it is against the 2 bottom teams in the division. MW needs better d as you can’t give up 40 a game and compete in this division. Cintas is not an offensive juggernaut but they should have enough to take this one this week.  CINTAS BY 6

DIVISION #4

BREW CREW +7 VS SHREDDERS: Shredders just can’t seem to get it going this session. They have been a solid team in the past but they just aren’t getting the job done. The offense is off and their defense has been a hot mess. BC is coming to town at the perfect time as they struggle on O and they are terrible on D. I wouldn’t read too much into this game. Shredders should win this and win it by a good amount but this game won’t solve the problems at hand. SHREDDERS BY 4

FULL THROTTLE VS BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +3: FT got a big win last week and a very winnable game is up next. BSS is in familiar territory as they are ho humming along. They aren’t awesome but they aren’t good awful. When I think of .500 football team this is the team that pops in my head. They aren’t really good or really bad. FT is starting to take steps in the right direction and another big win could give them some confidence as we head down the stretch. FULL THROTTLE BY 4

HK4 VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: Both squads are having a solid season to date so this one should be good. IE has had some injury concerns so that could cost them this week. HK4 is a solid squad that is up there with the top teams. They are balanced and can win this division. IE is very balanced and they have talent all over the field. I expect a decent game but HK4 appears to just have a little more in the tank than IE does. Look for HK4 to take this one.  HK4 BY 3

UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS VS AXA +8: URTT lost last week and I reckon they will be hopping mad this week,. Poor AXA is up next and I fear URTT will look to make a statement this week. URTT can score at will. AXA is getting better and is leaps and bounds better than in week #1. I just don’t think AXA has enough to go toe to toe with this offensive juggernaut. Look for URTT to take this running away.  URTT BY 10

NO PUNT INTENDED +3 VS 3^RD AND SCLONG: This is the one we have been waiting for. NPI is having a solid season as they boast a very decent team. We were told they will be short handed but can NPI run with 3AS who is just dismantling every team they face? They have stars all over the field. The Keller nation is atop the D4 mountain and will look to make a statement this week. They are reading and they keep hearing it too. Are they as good as they think? Are they a product of a soft schedule? Can they beat a top team? Why hasn’t Katie Keller asked 40 yr plan guy to marry her? I mean it’s the same questions each and every week. Well this week we get our answers. NPI is solid foe that will come to play. Can they run and gun with a team that can’t seem to be stopped? 3^RD AND SCHLONG BY 4

DIVISION #5

PASSLESS CHAPS +7 VS HOPE N RUIN: Don’t look now but HNR is on the outside looking in if the season ended today. They are doing OK but not awesome. PC are struggling mightily so this should be the week HNR scores a ton and gets back into the race. HNR has a solid team and has one in this league before so they can get back on track. A team that struggles to score and stop people awaits them. HOPE N RUIN BY 8

COME FROM BEHIND VS HUNG BUFFALO +7: These teams know each other well. In a perfect world CFB is the better team but you really don’t know who will play and who will not play each and every week. HB struggled early especially on defense but it appears they have started to right the ship and they are playing way better these days. It just seems like CFB has a few more horses in this game but attendance is always an issue.  COME FOR BEHIND BY 6

WITTER’S +8 VS ALL WE DO IS QWINN: AWDIQ is super fast and super good. They sit atop the mountain right now. Witter’s looked D7 bound after week #1 but this team continues to get better and impress. They have a solid captain who is as smart as it gets in this league. Under his guidance this team is ever improving. Are they quick enough to run with the mini mites of AWDIQ ? I am not so sure they are ready for this test quite yet. ALL WE DO IS QWINN BY 7

MATTY’S ANGELS VS THE BAMBS +8: Matty’s Angels erupted last week as they laid the smacketh downeth on poor unsuspecting Vandalay. The Bambs are a hot mess since their QB went AWOL. These aren’t the Bambs we used to know. They have a dark cloud that follows them around wherever they go. This is a sad story that will go from bad to worse as MA have no mercy and will run the score up if they get the chance. I suspect a massacre of epic proportions is upon us.  MATTYS ANGELS BY 13

VANDALAY INDUSTRIES VS UFO +7: This one should be good. UFO are quickly becoming the “bad boys” of TSL as they continue to fight their way towards the top of the division. Their street cred has gone up 143% since they turned heel. VI was rocked last week as they looked slow and over matched. Can UFO pull the upset and shock the world? UFO has scored a ton of points and has been in their last 3 or so games this one should be good.  VANDALY INDUSTRIES BY 6

DIVISION #6

COLLEGIATE BUILDERS +11 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: TMA has been up and down this season but their offense continues to show week after week. CB is still a hot mess but they are not as hot nor as messy as in years past. TMA should make it rain this week as they have one of the better offenses in D6 today. CB will struggle to keep pace with an offense such as this.  This should be one of those “alot to a little scores” by games end. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 14

NICE TDS VS HOME TECH +7: Hometech is a hot mess. I do not even think B’s Brother can save them at this point. NTDS have shown well as they played some very good games to date. Hometech has struggled to score and that could be the reason they struggle this week. NTDS will find some holes in the HT defense and should have enough to take this one late. NICE TDS BY 6

PRACTICE SQUAD VS JABRONIES +7: Jabronies have shown well in their first session. They continue to improve and are doing a decent job moving the ball. Their D is still a work in progress. TPS is up at the top of the division as they are loaded on both sides of the ball. Look for TPS to have an easy time scoring points on the newbs in route to an easy victory.   PRACTICE SQUAD BY 11

DILLY DILLY +3 VS TIGHT END ZONES: This one should be good as each team is on fire. These 2 could easily be seeing each other again real soon. Both are solid on both sides of the ball. TEZ is offense personified while Dilly Dilly is all about the defense. As long as DD doesn’t thug things up this week we should be in store for a solid football game between 2 very good teams. TIGHT END ZONES BY 1

DARK KNIGHTS +4 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: CSR is having a decent session but I have been told the league is none too happy with their sub problems and will be watching them like a hawk the rest of the way. DK are an up and down squad that is getting better week by week. They have proven they can score in this division but they need better play from their defense. CSR is a solid methodical football team that is just balanced so DK better be ready to go this week. I expect a close one here. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 3

5 Questions for Saturday

1. What must Brother Nero be thinking right now? He lost brother bowl, then he made a huge mental lapse which caused N W O the game last week vs The Purge. I asked it a few weeks ago and will ask it again have we lost Brother Nero? As it appears he is now lost in the matrix.

2 Will The Purge start their climb back up the rankings this week or is this team lost for good? TP has 2 very winnable games this week. They have been a hot mess for literally the last month. They have the ability to take this division but have shown close to nothing. Can their season be saved or is this it for them? This is the week we find out.

3.  Is this the week A&A gets back on track or will they continue to ho hum in D3? This team is loaded with skill and is way better than their record indicates. They have speed to burn and are battle tested. A very smart very tough Sticky Bandits come to town this week. A&A is up against it as it is now time to kick their game up a nickel as the playoffs quickly approach.  Sticky Bandits have been playing stout defense the past few weeks.

4. Topper was rocked last week how will he recover? Last week was not good for Team Topper nor Vandalay. Will the Topper dust himself off and get back up and will his team to victory?  They say when QB’s hit the wall that is usually it. I mean with Topper it happened like 6 seasons ago but does he have enough left in the tank to bring his team back from the dead?

5. Will the Cobblestone supporting cast finally rise to the occasion and help Darryl Carr QB Superstar secure victory? Darryl is a man on an island right now. Yes it is a magical island and Darryl is still our #icon but it just isn’t fair that his team is no where close to him in either skill set or effort. I expect a big win this week vs a very beatable SITE.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week is in D4 where it is quadruple dog on when 6-0 3^rd and Schlong have at with 4-1 No Punt intended. This could be a preview of the D4 title game. 3^rd and Schlong has dusted up D4 but many claim they have yet to be tested. They will be tested by a very balanced and very solid football team. The winner of this one probably takes the #1 seed heading into the dance.  Each team has continued to improve by leaps and bounds week after week.

2. Don’t look now but the reigning and defending D1 champs could be in trouble this week. Marketing Mayors must have at it with both Public Enemy and New Gods. The book is out on MM. Find Smith and go the other way. Both PE and NG have blazers all over the field so MM could struggle this week horse vs horse. The only thing that can save them from taking 2 L’s this week is Dalphonso playing like his hair is on fire.

3. Tight End Zones continue to quietly go about their business as they keep winning week after week. A tough test is heading their way with Thuggy Thuggy I mean Dilly Dilly. TEZ will get to see what they are made of this week as DD is solid across the board. This is the week good offense faces good defense.

4.  I am curious to see how a much improved Witter’s does this week with a team that looks like they are the class of D5 in All we do is Qwinn. AWDIQ is loaded with speed as they play a very smart safe football game. They hit their guys on quick hitters and let them run them out. Witter’s might need to push up a tad this week to cut off the quick slants and crosses. Witter’s was a hot mess week #1 but has continued to improve. This game should be a good one.

5. Shredder’s have been struggling but finally catch a break this week as a very beatable Brew Crew is next up. Shredders have struggled on both sides of the ball. They better take this one and take it by a bunch or the last few games could be miserable for this once mighty franchise.

6. This could be Morning Woods last chance at a W this week. Yes they beat the bottom 2 D3 clubs but MW has not looked good. To make matters worse the MVP of everything is up next and that is not AOK. Joey Batts always looks to put on a show when a weaker team comes to town. Joey Batts knows better than anyone that the MVP selection committee can show up on his side line at any time so he better be ready to go as no TSLer has ever gotten back to back league MVP.

7. I got to thinking about team names today here are my (3) favorite and worst: My (3) favorites: Hootie and the Bro Fish, 1 Topper too Many and Vandalay Industries. My (3) worst: Slytherin the End Zone, Chef Curry with the Shots and Gryffindor.

8.  I will have a watchful eye this week on Mixxx as they have at with Team Topper. JZ is an evil genius that will have his team ready to go this week. Mixxx will be ready for everything thrown at them. It all begins and ends at QB for them. Topper can be hot and cold. Can JZ pull the upset? It’s funny both teams are 3-1 but it just feels like Mixxx is the underdog this week.

9. OK let’s try this again….to be clear the only way a sub request in this league is legal is if you email a request by Friday at 10am to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  Do not email Topper. Just send the email and we will respond back if your request is acceptable. Please be advised we will be checking and if you are caught breaking the sub rules the team captain and the sub in violation will both be suspended for multiple games. To those that are following the rules and continue to thank you. To those that are choosing not to….good luck you are going to need it.

10. If I had to pick breakfast club games I would say…Chef Curry 31 Angry Tailors 23. Val’s Pal’s 28 Peanut Butter Kelly Time 27. Taminator’s 31 Poppin Molly’s 24

#DINNERCROWD

Week 7, Thoughts, Insights, Warnings, Some Advice, No Picks!

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Thursday, 07 June 2018 14:13

Published: Thursday, 07 June 2018 14:13

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 7736

A TSL HAIKU

You said sorry guys

I heard that is not the case

Unfortunate news

Enter Week #7

So this has been a crazy week. Everyone has a thought on what is wrong and what needs to be done to fix things. I have an associate of mine he has (2) friends their names are Sarah and Emily. He asked them what they thought was wrong with this league and what needs to be done and that’s when Sarah said #DON’TBLOWIT. Emily later elaborated on the mission statement….And yes I too thought it was something about abstinence and stopping drunken coitus mistakes but I was corrected….

#DONTBLOWIT

Don’t blow it people!!!!

Don’t blow it with the league, don’t blow it with the bar, don’t blow it with your team mates, don’t blow it with your friends, don’t blow it with your job, don’t blow it with your body, don’t blow it with your self-respect, don’t blow it with everything you have done for yourself and others.

Ladies and Gentlemen when you take the field of battle on Saturday June 9^th in the year of our Lord 2018 I would remind each and every one of you….#DON’TBLOWIT

OK I unfortunately will be on sabbatical this week and can’t produce my normal article so here are some random thoughts to keep you going until I get back to business next week.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

-So it looks like Kyle Coniff was right and 3^rd and Schlong might not be the team to beat in D4. Dude has stolen Katie Keller’s milk money, tore up a podcast and thrown an after party in the past few weeks. Could Coniff be this generation’s ambassador of awesomeness ala “The Next Pauly J?”

-Kudos to Management for finally drawing the line on the tom foolery of the past few weeks. It is about time that sub rules get revised and people start acting their age and the wrongs start becoming rights. I for one hope lessons learned and we all move on better for it.

-Team Topper has had it on auto pilot but then tragedy has struck (their defense) and they now sit at 3-2 with a very solid A&A coming to town next. I am hearing their normal ladies will be MIA. Team Topper needs to right the ship and right it fast as playoffs quickly approach.

-Can anyone stop Hootie and the Bro Fish? They have been steam rolling through D2. Looks like they are heading to the show next. I know the league is busy with sub issues and tom foolery right now but when that stuff is done let’s focus on re-organizing and stopping all this that guy plays on this team and that team nonsense. This league started with 40 solid teams with no grey areas I think it’s time to return to one player one team.

- I really enjoyed this week’s podcast. You can agree or disagree with this that and the other thing but I for one commend this league on being a place where everyone has a voice. This league takes a ton of time trying to entertain its customer base. I commend this league for having a web site that works that includes people who actually know how to spell. I also commend them on taking their time to do a podcast to try and help the product. I listened to another league’s podcast a few weeks ago and fell asleep after 3 minutes. It sounded like 4 people were sitting in a garage and I was bored as F. Kudos to the podcast team and to Joe K/DJ Jimmy who were thrust into this position while others have been away. I really think this league does more good than bad with it’s podcast and website. If it ever left there is no doubt in my mind the people that would miss it most are the people that are “complaining.”

-I know there were a lot of long faces at last session’s banquet when Joey Batts walked that aisle and picked up his TSL League MVP. Is it possible that he goes back to back? Now hear me out…..He beat brother Nero in Brother Bowl, he lost Scotty M to a tragic injury and he still has his team at 5-1. What if he does the impossible and beats Hootie and the Bro Fish for the D2 title?  What then TSL Universe?   If that happens does he repeat as your league MVP? Be afraid …be very afraid….

-It is nice to hear that Paul LoVullo has returned. This league needs more of the “good guys” back in town. Come From Behind is 2-2 and could go on a run soon. It’s nice that Paul has been kind enough to lend a hand as a sub QB for teams that need it as well. This league needs more Paul LoVullo’s if you ask me.  If you still aren’t sure if you are doing it right go follow that guy around with a pen and paper you might learn a thing or two.

-Speaking of “good guys” I can’t tell you how much it paints me to see Cobblestone at the bottom of the D3 rankings. Yes Darryl Carr QB Superstar is still our #ICON but it might be time to take the trip to D4. It is quite obvious to this writer that his team just can’t match his talent level at this point in 2018.

-Can anyone stop Eyes Downtown? Marketing Mayors won’t do it without Delecki. I don’t think TEIM is ready yet. Public Enemy at 100% can play with anyone but they can’t get people to the fields. New Gods are having attendance issues and right now Ricky Austin is stuck in the matrix.  Angry Buffalo isn’t ready yet. I think Racks and Sacks are missing one more key player. #XTC is an enigma. When the dust settles I think Eyes Downtown will be hoisting the trophy come July.

-They kept talking about Bullet Club and Team Topper but no one spoke of Mixxx. I really am cheering for JZ this session. He has a solid team and dude knows what he is doing. I also feel bad SITE fired him so it would be a kool story if JZ proved everybody wrong and took the title.

-I can’t help but think The Replacements are the team you do not want to play in the first round of the D2 playoffs. This team has skill and has 2 blazers who can take a game over. TR can shock the world if their QB plays like his hair is on fire. Easier said than done but this still is one team I will keep my eye on down the stretch.

-Tommy Hughes Experience is up against it this week as they have 2 tough tests looming.  A very under rates Witter’s and very tough Cunning Stunts are up next. THE has no speed but they have smarts and they will need it in droves this week.

- One of my favorite people in this league continues to be Matty Ice. I was dying this week on the podcast when he talked about giving Joey Batts the “rock bottom” if he wins another TSL MVP award and loved the “moving car” stories with him and Molly Morgan. Matty is another guy you should follow if you are struggling with what we are trying to do here. Dude shows up, always tries his best on the field then parties like a rock star off it. I am beginning to wonder if we should just set up a “good guys club” where we get these leaders who just “get it” to walk around with the knuckle heads of this league and just show them how things are supposed to be done.

-Matty’s Angels seem to be gaining steam as the season moves along. A “tough” team both literally and figuratively is up next in Hung Buffalo. HB is not the same HB we have grown accustom to. Their offense is scoring but their defense has been lit up a few times especially long over the middle. Matty and his Angels love to go bombs away early and often so this one should be interesting.

- Cunning Stunts are 3-2 and having a fine season. Next up is the Tommy Hughes Experience. Everything begins and ends at QB for the Stunts. No one ever asks this so I will…When a team plays a gender team why don’t they ever get their tallest guy and isolate him on one side and just throw a jump ball at like 8-10 yards. Most girls are like 5’4” -5’10” and guys can go as tall as say 6’4”- 6’5”. It just seems like simple math to me. I don’t know that just popped in my head so I said it.

-DMX is struggling a tad in D2 and have been great sports. I wonder if someone should petition the league and let them use their “old football “again next session.

-I for one hope the Topper decides to re-boot the PJMJTHIDYMT. This of course is the Patrick J McGovern Jr Though He Isn’t Dead Yet Memorial Tournament for teams that don’t make the playoffs. I think a cool trophy should be made and handed to the winner.

-What ever happened to Brother Nero? Did he honor his promise and make 10 new friends? When will he serenade the fair maiden Emily? Are Brother Nero and his Brother even talking right now? If Nero draws the Batman in secret Santa will he hand his brother coal?

-I miss ACE. Right about at this point in the season Blasé LaDuca would have blasted face book like 3x proclaiming his glory. I got to be honest I so wanted to see Matty’s Angels V ACE one more time L. TSL Misses Ronny K!!!

-If the regular season ended today I would have Morning Wood at 53.4-1.

-What happened to Cintas? They started so good but have really fallen flat the past few weeks.

-Practice Squad and Dilly Dilly both sit at 5-1 but it’s the next group of (4 ) that has me intrigued in D6. Dark Knights, Celino Sewer Rats, Tight End Zones and The McKenzie Agency have all shown flashed of brilliance and also have had dreadful moments. I have a feeling one of these 4 teams could do some damage in this playoff and surprise some people. I still am onto sure which one of the 4 it will be though….

-Just we all are clear on sub procedures moving forward:

Please go to the rule book pages 2/3 Rules 5-7. There it will tell you what girls are allowed to sub in each division. If you need a sub you must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. before Friday at 10AM for that week’s game ONLY. You may choose anyone you wish before Friday at 10am as long as you follow the rules on divisions. Please note one girl is not allowed to sub anymore and (3) D2 girls may not sub in D1 but if you have questions on specifics email us and we will tell you who they are.  For example if you are a team in D2 you may only choose a girl in D2-D6 to be your sub. If you are a team in D3 you may only use a sub that is a girl on a D3-D6 team. If you are a team in D6 you may only choose a girl sub from division D3-D6. Once you send us an email will respond promptly in writing that your request has been accepted. If someone beats you to the sub it will be rejected and you will have to re-submit. If Friday at 10am passes you may only choose a girl on our USL only. USL subs do not have to be formally requested via email. We ask as a courteosy you tell us but you don’t have to. You must also submit in writing all guy subs and B Club subs. To be clear do not email, call or text Topper if you do this we will reject your request . You must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. only. If you use the “Topper told me it’s OK” excuse we will still suspend you so please don’t waste our time and please follow the rules as they are written.

5 Questions for Saturday

1. OK now what? Jeff Easton is done like dinner and what is Bullet Club to do? Looks like we get to find out this Saturday.

2.  So was 3^rd and Schlong a by-product of an early season schedule or did they just have a bad day at the office? Rumors are swirling Kyle Coniff figured out the key to stopping the Keller Nation. Stop Katie Stop 3AS…..BTW we will get our answer at 2:00 as HK4 will be one tough test.

3.  So who will be throwing for New Gods this week Good Ricky or Bad Ricky? Fasten your seat belts boys and girls as anything is possible. I’m beginning to think Ricky is stuck in the matrix.  I really think Rameer should put on a trench coat, throw on some shades and go all Morpheus as may be the only one that can save him.

4. What the heck ever happened to best Bernal? Has this thing died or will the hunt for Red October begin again? Who you got TSL Val, Diana or the other one?

5. Will Stegs and Joe Russell ever get their time with the D1 trophy? It probably never happens but how can’t you cheer for #XTC in D1?

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week in D6 this week where Practice Squad has at with The Dark Knights. Kenny, Renee and Andy used to be BFF on Dark Knights but one day Kenny and Renee wanted to start their own gig so they started Practice Squad. Things were tough for a year or so but now TPS is on fire. Andy got injured and had to take some time off and the Dark Knights folded. Now Andy is heathy and tearing it up with a new team that is starting to get hot. This game is all about the rivalry. If you like Hatfields and McCoys look no further than this one. This one should be a classic.

2. Great match up brewing in D5 this week between Tommy Hughes Experience and Witter’s. THE is known for their system and their smarts but Witter’s is skippered by Zach Newberry who is easily one of the smartest players in the game today. Newberry will be wise to all the THE smoke and mirror tricks. This game should be good.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

3.  SITE is on fire winners of their last (1) yes (1) game but they could make it two as a wounded Bullet Club comes to town at 11:00 am. SITE is not making the playoffs so this game will be their super bowl. #GARYFORTSLANDD3MVP

4. I thought this week’s Podcast was great and moved quickly. I have to be honest I so want to hand Joey Batts another TSL MVP trophy just so we assure Matty Ice attends the banquet and gives Joey Batts the “rock bottom.”

5. I can’t help but think that all the issues in this league started right about the time we lost B’s Brother as he has not attended football once this season. I almost wonder if we should make him a player/league ambassador and with his help maybe we can make this league better for everyone. It’s funny that man’s dedication to not working is almost legendary. I mean he turned down a date with a hot blonde so he could sit on his couch and do nothing all day. That is dedication man…..

6. Puckett All Stars continue to slowly gain respect each and every week. Ladies and Gentlemen this is how it’s done. They took D5, then they took D4 now they are in D3 and they deserve to be there as they sit at 3-3. They haven’t juiced their roster like some teams, they aren’t selling their souls for a title. They are bringing the same team out week after week and getting better  ”together as a team.” Kudos to you Puckett All Stars.

7. I can’t help but think N W O is walking into a trap this week with the Replacements. TR usually get cooking as the season progresses. N W O is 3-3 but they have not looked good since their ultra-talented alpha female went down. TR is scoring points and has been playing well as of late. If ever there was a chance at the upset….

8.  All eyes will be on Dilly Dilly this week at 11:00am. I am hearing the league is none too happy as they have been involved in some issues the past few weeks and will have a watchful eye on   them this week and the rest of the season. As for their game 5-1 Dilly Dilly has at it with 5-1 Practice Squad. Looks like the battle for the #1 seed is upon us…

9. Don’t worry Joey Batts no more “guilting of team captains” will be allowed the rest of the season. Last week poor Joey Batts was guilted into letting his opponent have 2 illegal subs as “Taylor Procrastinerksi” struck again.  Even though half the league already knew Shari was in Canada on like Wednesday the Purge as always waited until the last minute. Kudos to Joey Batts however as he once again proved without a shadow of a doubt that he is our MVP both on and off the field. Joey Batts is a leader among men, an inspiration for all to follow. When other captains would have snickered and said NO Joey Batts stood tall and did what he in his heart and soul thought was right. I for one commend this humanitarian and feel I am a better person for writing this and I know you are now better people for reading this.  

10. If I had to pick breakfast club games I would say…Peanut Butter Kelly Time 31 Poppin Mollies 20. Chef Curry 31 Val’s Pals 28. Angry Tailors 30 Taminators 27.

#DON’TBLOWIT

Week 5 Thoughts, Picks and Insights

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Wednesday, 23 May 2018 16:12

Published: Wednesday, 23 May 2018 16:12

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 8369

Enter Week #5

“Make friends first, makes sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”

MICHAEL SCOTT

Things seem to be moving right along and that’s a good thing. The winners are winning the losers and losing and the break eveners are breaking even. In a week or so it will be time kick things up a notch as playoffs are quickly approaching………..

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………

DIVISION #1

NEW GODS +3 VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION: This one should be interesting. TEIM seem to be the new flavor of the month. They are actually really good. The biggest thing with them is they are smart. They will figure out your weaknesses and do a very solid job to exploit your weaknesses. I really thought after last session New Gods were poised to take the next step but I have yet to see it. This is a defining moment for both teams. Will New Gods take this one and continue their development or are they over rated? Are TEIM the “next big thing” in D1 or are we reading too much into the last few games? I think we should have a better idea of each team’s fate by day’s end. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 3

MARKETING MAYORS VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION +4: If you want to truly know what you are made of this is the week you find out. There will be no bigger test for TEIM than the reigning annnnnd defending D1 champs Marketing Mayors. Cory Turner is an evil genius and will be waiting. Yes I know Delecki is as good as it gets in this league and yes he is out but MM are still playing solid football. If MM was at full strength I’m taking them 10 out of 10 times but they are not so anything can happen in this one. The TEIM girls are better than many think this could be the week they go off. There is no doubt in my mind Tiger is reading this wondering to himself if he actually is as good as he thinks he is. He will be put to the test this week. He has yet to see an athletic freak of nature like Andy Smith. Smith is fast and can jump into the sky. Tiger V Smith will be one match up to watch closely this week. MARKETING MAYORS BY 6

DIVISION #2

N W O VS THE PURGE +8: I think it is almost time for someone to say The Purge is done stick a fork in them. N W O started with so much promise but injuries have struck and I am still not sure Brother Nero will ever recover from Brother Bowl a few weeks ago. If N W O doesn’t win this one they are in big trouble. TP probably has another roster issue and N W O probably survives this game late. Will Brother Nero ever emotionally recover?  N W O BY 7

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS DMX +8: It’s looking more and more like HATBF are the class of D2 and DMX are basement bound. DMX will score some points so they can make this fun but I just don’t see anyone in this division stopping this team.  HATBF are just cruising along these days. They check all the boxes and are getting stellar play all over the field from all players. They are one tough team to beat. I don’t see them taking the L this week not by a long shot. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 10

THE REPLACEMENTS +7 VS GRYFFINDOR: This one should be good. I am hearing rumors a Gryff star player might be out for a few weeks and this could sway the outcome. Yes I know Joey Batts is easily the best player in this game if not this entire league but what is he to do? One of his stars is out, his brother has gone cray cray after Brother Bowl and he is a man on an island right now. TR ae getting better. Funny thing has happened they final realized what we all already know…if you throw Burr the darn ball you will win. TR lives and dies on the right arm of their QB. This game will be closer than many think TR could be ready for them this time.  GRYFFINDOR BY 1

DIVISION #3

CINTAS VS STICKY BANDITS +4: Cintas are off to a nice start and things are good. Next up is the Sticky Nation. SB are finally starting to click. This game should be a good one. SB are a very solid and very methodical team. They will play solid mistake free football. This is a tough team to beat. Cintas reak of awesomeness as they have the people’s champion on their side. Most teams cower in intimidation when they must look across the side line and see the new “face that runs the place.” I of course am speaking of Joey Batts. Batman will come to paly but can his supporting cast pick him up? Joey is easily the best player in this game and each and every game he plays in quite frankly but one man can only do so much. I expect a close one here.  CINTAS BY 1

1 TOPPER TOO MANY VS STICKY BANDITS +7: Team Topper is on fire as they are dismantling every team they face. Their defense is fierce and their O is getting the job done. It is a shame that Drew plays in the same division as Joey Batts as he could easily be your D3 MVP but no  mere mortal can beat Joey Batts for this title. This game should be a good one. You have the systematic cerebral assassins from Sticky Bandits playing Uncle Topper and his sand lot crew with Eastern European football techniques. I still am shocked no one has had any Team Topper players checked for PED’S. This game will be a good one as these 2 teams are fierce rivals. 1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 6

CINTAS VS A&A +4: What’s wrong with A&A? First it’s play on the field, then they have some “philosophical differences”, then last week everyone bails. Matty Ice is a gamer and he will right the ship of this I am sure. The Ice man is waiting another week or so before he begins tuning up for the real season. Cintas comes to town looking good. If all things are equal I am taking A&A but I am still not sure if they all show and if they do are they all on the same page. If Joey Batts struggles with one thing in his game he struggles keeping up with girls that can flat out go. A&A might have one or two of those girls. CINTAS BY 3

DIVISION #4

UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS VS FULL THROTTLE +10: URTT lost a week #1 heart breaker but ever since they have kicked their game up a nickel. It all begins and ends on offense. Who needs defense when you can put up 35-40 points a week on O? Full Throttle just looks a click or two off. They are not yet ready for the main stage but like newer teams it usually takes a session or two before everyone just “gets it.” I look for URTT to score another 35-40 points in route to another big win.  URTT BY 9

3^RD AND SCHLONG VS SHREDDERS +13: On paper this one looks like a blow out but I am still not convinced. Yes 3AS has looked awesome to date as they continue to dismantle each and every team they have faced. But who have they faced? D4 is about haves and have nots. Half the division is good and half isn’t. Well 3AS has beat all the down teams sans URTT. Shredders have been awful on defense and that is killing them. I am not ready to call the upset but I am thinking an upset is coming or this game will be way closer than many would think. It pains me to say all of this I am a big fan of the Keller Nation. On an un-related topic I think Katie Keller and 40 yr plan guy should just quit fooling themselves and profess their love for each other this week on Field #2 at 1:00. If the royal wedding has taught us anything it’s that fairy tale endings can happen….they….can …happen…..    3^RD AND SCHLONG BY 4

AXA VS BREW CREW +7: Ok well one of them has to win. Both teams have been brutal as they both sit at 0-4 but there are glimmers of hope. AXA is struggling on D but they are scoring points so that is a positive. Brew Crew is struggling to score and more importantly struggling to stop anyone. If we use simple math A+B –C carry the one equals AXA will score about 30 and  Brew Crew won’t, take AXA. XA BY 3

DIVISION #5

HUNG BUFFALO VS HOPE N RUIN +3: HNR just seems to be missing something right now and they are off to a 1-2 start. We know they are notoriously slow starts it has been that way since their inception. This is a big rivalry game this week as these two teams know each other very well. HB can be beat with superfast girls but HNR doesn’t exactly have top shelf speed. I think HB gets back on track this week and takes this one late.  HUNG BUFFALO BY 1

HOPE N RUIN +3 VS THE BAMBS: Ok so The Bambs are going through some “philosophical differences” right now and that’s OK. They are still a good team but they just aren’t themselves these days.  TB still has Nick and thy have Parrish so they should be able to beat up on the shorter cover guys of HNR. Also the Bambs have some girls that can go so they should give HNR some headaches this week. If the Bambs are at 100% they roll in this game but they aren’t so it could be closer than you would think. THE BAMBS BY 3

TOMMY HUGHES EXPERIENCE +7 VS COME FROM BEHIND: I am hearing THE is missing Tommy Hughes and this means bad news for THE. Incidentally when you miss people that doesn’t mean you can just grab anyone to play for you. That is called breaking the rules and it not allowed. CFB should take THE to task this week. They are old vets that are solid across the board. They will be wise to the THE tom foolery and should take this one rather easily.  COME FROM BEHIND BY 9

PASSLESS CHAPS +10 VS THE BAMBS: TB are getting lucky this week as the Chaps are struggling a tad. TB are the seasoned vets and they need this game very bad so I reckon they will be ready to go this week. PC still need more time for their development and quite honestly like a few other teams might be better served in D6. TB should score early and often and should take this one rather easily. PC can’t score and can’t stop people this is a recipe for disaster his league.  THE BAMBS BY 7

VANDALAY INDUSTRIES +1 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: I still am confused. This game was happening at 2:00 now it’s at 10. VI has looked good and has shocked a lot of folks. MA have been up and down but really haven’t been overly impressive. I keep hearing MA are suffering from attendance issues and I keep hearing Joe K is all sad he can’t play QB for VI. As for the game anything can happen. Last time MA played a super slow team like this they got crushed but THE is a different squad than VI. If I was VI I would iso the eastern block and just keep throwing jump balls as Eastern block are really tall and will have 4-6 inches on every girl that tries to cover them. VI will lack speed and could struggle keeping up with the MA wr’s. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 3

WITTERS VS UFO +8: 2 weeks ago Witter’s looked like they should be in D7 but now they are 2-2. They are starting to get it and get it rather quickly UFO got a big win last week vs a very depleted THE. Witter’s should have enough fire power to outscore UFO this week. Witter’s has gone from also ran to easily a very under rated D5 squad. I am curious to see how they do the rest of the way. UFO will come to fight I just don’t think they have the horses to keep up with Witter’s WITTERS BY 7

CUNNING STUNTS VS ALL WE DO IS QWINN no line: This one should be a good one as each team is very good. AWDIQ is awesome and their record shows that. They are fast and they can play with almost anyone. CS are a solid squad but everything begins and ends at QB for them. AWDIQ is small and fast so CS might struggle to get separation on them. If Drew is QB he will be forced to make tight window throws that I think he really isn’t able to make yet. If Joey Batts plays this game well everything changes as Joey Batts can throw a marble at your eye ball with his pinpoint accuracy. I think he is so accurate due to many many years on the bocce ball circuit. Regardless I see a very close very entertaining game played between two very decent squads this week. All we do is Qwinn BY 1

DIVISION #6

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY +7 VS TIGHT END ZONES: This one should be good. OK what do we know? We know due to tom foolery and blatant thuggery TSL tremendously liked Brian Ferger now has a hand injury. This is not good if you are a TMA fan. TEZ do not look like much but they show up each and every week play solid mistake free football and walk away most weeks with the W. TEZ are not thugs and play a classy game so this one will be good but the damage is already done. Our hero is injured and that is not kool. FOR SHAME DILLY DILLY.FORRRRRRRRRR SHHHHHHAAAAAAAAME.  TIGHT END ZONES BY 6

JABRONIES +1 VS CELNO SEWER RATS: I am beginning to think the Jabronies are the gate way to D6 awesomeness. I think there is a story to tell there and I reckon at some point we will delve further into this team and its members. CSR are an up and down roller coaster you honestly never know what to expect. Jabronies are newbs but they continue to show up and are getting better and better week after week. This one could go either way. Oh yeah I forgot to mention. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SHAAAAAAAME DILLY DILLY FOOOOOOOOOOOR SHAAAAAAAAME.   CELINO SEWER RATS BY 4

5 Questions for Saturday

1. What the heck is wrong with Shredder’s? They are usually always in the hunt but this season they have looked awful especially on defense. Giving up 31 points a game will not translate in W’s.

2. Who the heck are Tight End Zones? They have literally come out of no where and are 3-1 with a huge 50-14 win over Practice Squad last week. A very grumpy bear known as the McKenzie Agency is up next. I heard Ferger is none too happy these days and will be looking to make a statement to D6 this weekend.

3. Can anyone stop 3^rd and Schlong? They are now like 5-0 and have literally dismantled every squad the TSL has trotted in front of them. Next up is the walking disaster known as Shredder’s. If ever there was a chance at an upset…….

4. Will a league wide investigation begin regarding the tom foolery and basic thuggery caused by Dilly Dilly in last week’s game with TMA? Foooooooooooor shaaaaaaaaaaaame Dilly Dilly Foooooooor Shaaaaaaaaaaame.

5. Will Brother Nero ever come back to us? I’m telling you ever since Brother Bowl Anthony seems lost in the matrix. I hope this game didn’t ruin him forever. He better come back quickly as N W O could start circling the drain if he doesn’t.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week is in D5 where Matty’s Angels and Vandalay Industries have at it. Matty’s Angels are 3-2 but I think they are a tad over rated. Vandalay Industries are the most under rated 3-1 team in the game today. VI will have the size advantage but MA will have the speed edge. This one should be good. Last time MA went at it with slow slumbering squad they got smoked will this happen once again or will they be ready this time for war?

2. Well they smoked Racks and Sacks and they had a war with Public Enemy. This week Tight Ends in Motion will get both New Gods and the D1 champs Marketing Mayors. If TEIM wants to know where they stand in the race for the title this is the week they should find out.

3. Awesome battle looming in D5 between (2) 3-1 teams in Cunning Stunts and All we do is Qwinn. AWDIQ has settled in nicely in D5 as they are one tough out in this division. CS has looked decent but things begin and end at QB for them. CS usually uses their speed to their advantage but AWDIQ is wicked fast and will be able to go toe to with them across the board.

4.  One of this leagues favorite rivalries heats back up at 2:00 on Field #2 when The Sticky Nation has at it with 1 Topper too Many. Team Topper is like 3-0 and pretty much on a collision course with Bullett Club for the D3 title. Sticky started slowly but seems to be picking up steam as the season progresses. This game is always worth the price of admission.

5. Don’t look now but Witter’s has started to get our attention. They looked dreadful in week #1 but they now stand at 2-2 after a big win over Matty’s Angels. This week a hot UFO comes to town. The team that wins this game might catch some lighting in a bottle and shoot up the ranks while the loser probably misses the D5 dance. No pressure….no…..pressure.

6. If I had to pick the all “over rated teams to date”: D1 New Gods.  D2 The Purge. D3 Sticky Bandits. D4 3^rd and Schlong. D5 Matty’s Angels D6: The McKenzie Agency.

7.  If I had to pick the all “under rated teams to date”: D1 Tight Ends in Motion. D2 Gryffindor D3 A&A. D4 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers. D5 Witter’s. D6 Tight End Zones

8. When the season first stared I felt D5 was the best division in our game today and I still feel the same way today. (8) teams are either 3-1 or 2-2 as the race for the title is getting awesome. The teams in this division all continue to fight for the 8 golden tickets. . Week after week we are getting top notch games.

9. OK We got some clarification on do’s and don’ts moving forward. It is OK to have fun “allegedly”. Unfortunately please don’t have fun past 5:30. That structure you see outside with all the alcohol and stuff on the shelves is a piece of art and should be viewed, revered and marveled at for its magnificent nay extraordinary nay omnipotent nay breath taking beauty but in no way, shape or form should it be used “allegedly” I mean “apparently”.  Having sex is a good thing and should be enjoyed in a bed or on a counter or in an elevator or in an airplane bathroom but in no uncertain terms should sex happen in the Angry Buffalo Bathroom. OK this is where things get tricky….singing is a nice thing. Try to do it in your shower or in your car or on your way to the fields. If you really feel the urge during the day go to your car and just start singing away.(obviously put up your windows) (unless you bring your dog with you then we would like you to drive .73 miles crack the window open for your dog ,obviously, then sing away) Don’t sing inside the bar. Don’t sing inside the bar past 5 or 530. If you really don’t like this please call us and we will get you and like 30 other people together. Then we will put you all on a platform and we will record the TSL’s version of “we are the world.” OK  “good news” we have been told that you are allowed to breath as most humans need to do this to survive but please keep your breathing to a minimum after 5:30 if you still are at the bar. Everyone at 5:30 should hand in their cell phones as snap stories are now strictly prohibited. This wasn’t a formal request (by anyone but me) or complaint I just am sick of seeing dumb snap stories seriously people try and be more original if you could. Incidentally I am not a Dr., nor do I play one on TV, but when you throw up there is usually a reason for it. You either are super stupid and you didn’t eat, you are super stupid and didn’t stay hydrated or you are just flat out super stupid. If you are female and you threw up there is like a 1-3 percent chance you could be pregnant so get that checked out. Then go see a shrink because drinking while pregnant and throwing up is totally super stupid. So remember don’t over drink and throw up that’s super stupid. Remember if you are going to drink, eat lunch and/or dinner and drink plenty of water. If tom foolery continues we will assign each and very TSLer an official “safety buddy” and we will then make you all send us essays each week on your progress post football until your behavior gets better.  If you already have an official “safety buddy” you will be exempt from this process but still will be required to submit weekly essays.  So in closing singing, and being loud after 5:00 is no longer acceptable, however we have been told breathing is OK (for now) (“allegedly) (I mean “apparently”) and obviously you may buy a drink and they will gladly take your money at any time during the day or night. Thank you that is all.

10. If I had to pick breakfast club games I would say…Chef Curry 31 Angry Tailors 23. Val’s Pal’s 28 Peanut Butter Kelly Time 27. Taminator’s 31 Poppin Molly’s 24

#DINNERCROWD