THE SENTINEL: WEEK 7

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Thursday, 06 June 2019 12:37

Published: Thursday, 06 June 2019 12:37

Written by Patrick McGovern

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THE SENTINEL:  WEEK 7

Welllllll here we are post-Week 6 and it was a doozy. I feel like I should address the elephant in the room now and say that no I will not be discussing “the fight” which occurred this week The Build has his input and I’m sure the Godfather will have their say about it and I don’t feel like that sort of conduct deserves any other recognition than to say “Grow up”. I care more about the games and the people who can conduct themselves like adults. There were quite a few upsets this week and A LOT of points scored. Looking over the results of this past week, I see the majority of the combined scores for the game are in the 50-80 range. Looks like that QB Power Ranking has really motivated some of our QBs this season. Let’s see what went down.

In Breakfast Club, Natural Born Kellers were right in the game against Hot TaMollys. Topper looked to be in mid-season form and Garrett has proven to any early-on doubters that he is the real deal at QB, even in socks. The game was back and forth until the end when things took a turn for the worst for NBK. Josh had a great interception, not sure where this guy came from but he’s definitely one of the best never-talked-about players in the league. Boccio decided to have the game of his life, making every effort to get on ESPN’s highlight reel. Then Blasé decides he needs abandon NBKs to warm up for his 10:00 game with 20 minutes left to go in this game. Blasé- I get you made a commitment to your regular team but leaving this team in the trenches is not cool Bro. Then NBK had the chance to take the lead with under 2 minutes when Topper’s leg betrayed him and he failed to get the throw off on 6^th down. HT ended up taking the game 42-39.

Schilling Em Softly remains in 1^st place and the top contender for the BC title by beating Bern Them All36-27. They were missing Emily S and Brandy so had Elaina from No Punt Intended subbing. Matty Ice scrambled for a collective 47 minutes and BTAs defense could not keep up. Tensions on BTA began to rise as they struggled to defend trick plays. Some uncharacteristic drops and botched throws cost BTA the game.

Peanut Butter Kelly Time got their first win of the season besting EmC HammerTime 21-17. Newman had a big day all around and it all started here. Coach Jay’s patience and wisdom finally paid off. Captain Kelly was not present to finally claim the bra of an opponent. Ricky Austin was MIA for ECHT so Ferger took over as QB. Emily and Co will need to right the ship to avoid slipping into last place just before playoffs.

Bullet Club vs Title Shot turned out to have an ending no one expected. Title Shot went from the top, undisputed favorite of the C2 division down to 5^th place. Their fall from grace could easily be attributed to Dubey’s lack of attendance but he was there for this game. Unfortunately, several other guys were not meaning Dubey also had to play defense. Being a veteran in this league for as long as he has been has its benefits but having to go iron man takes a huge toll when one is no longer 25. They were also missing their main offensive weapon, Devon, and Marissa was hurt during the game. Bullet Club now sits at the top of the C2 division and they continue to gel. I think it’s safe to say at this point Jeff Easton is not playing and Travis Clev is their QB for the season.

The Ugandan Warriors fell to Matty’s Angels despite Blasé’s extended warm up. The game was high scoring on both sides with the final being 43-51. MA continued to play their style of offense so many teams have trouble defending. Lindsey played lights out, catching the game winning TD over Matt Keita.

All We Do Is Quinn suffered their first defeat at the hands of Peachy Platoon. It was a close game that could have gone the other way had AWDIQ played smarter. First of all, and this is a message to all you R1 teams out there, you have to rush a speed threat against Dean Thompson. They love to run the same play and unless you have a rusher with some serious wheels he’s going to continuously pick up 10-15+ yards every time they do. Secondly, PP needs to utilize their females more as, from what I’ve seen, it’s all about the guys with this team. They could take a lesson from AWDIQ in this regard. Quinn’s females are more than capable of carrying a game for this team and their QB is willing to let them do so. Rawdog and Schwab have shown us that we should be talking about them more. Their QB seems to know the game and makes smart play calls. Neither of these teams were afraid to throw the ball but PP came out on top 35-24. Later in the day, things didn’t go as well for PP when they took on 3^rd and Schlong. Once again the game was close but the Keller’s and Co were able to pull ahead, winning 36-34. The R1 playoff push is literally up for the taking as almost any team in this division could take over the top spots.

Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown went at it for the second time this session. PE got the ball rolling early while ED was missing Jeff Farr, taking a 19 point lead before the half. A botched pass deflecting into the hands of Jon McGrath didn’t help the situation. Jeff showed up in the second half and ED started to make a comeback. PE was missing Pauly J and Jake so fatigue may have played a part. ED got a stop on defense and came within a touchdown to tie the game but ran out of the time as PE used their impressive clock management abilities to run down the clock for the final 2 minutes, taking the win 34-25.

The Vandalay Industries vs Overcompensators match up was the quintessential co-ed touch football game. For those of you having trouble grasping what this league is truly about, these are the teams you should watch to demonstrate how it is possible to have fun playing this sport whether you win or lose. Topper had to play defense and padded his stats by getting a pick. That in and of itself would be enough to send some QBs hiding behind the Brall of Shame but OC’s QB persevered. OC had a unique plan on defense that they may want to rethink for next week. I’m not 100% sure what they were doing but when Paul Scinta catches a deep ball down field, it’s time to reassess your strategy.

XTC played 1 Todd Too Many in a close game that ended XTC on top 22-16. In the absence of Nick Sooch, Nick Wendt went in as QB. He actually played a pretty amazing game. Their females looked outstanding as well. Kelly Mazur may be one of the most underrated females in the entire league. 1TTM was missing all of their usual girls due to the RivAlz game so Topper had some difficulty adjusting to his unfamiliar targets.

TMA played a double header this week. First up was The Bambs who played down a female so only had 5 on the field. The Bambs pulled ahead to an early lead leading by 2 scores. Then TMA brought in secret weapon Rameer at QB and the tides turned. Rameer lead his team to bring the game to a tie. The Bambs had a chance to grab the win but with seconds left to go in the last drive their only female snapped her ankle and both teams agreed to end the game in a tie. We have not yet received word on how she is, but we hope she has a speedy recovery. TMA played The BiPolar Express later in the day, once again coming from behind. This time they pulled out a win once Rameer was asked to step in at QB. BE started strong but couldn’t score once TMA figured out how to defend against a gender team. Having Gordon hurt didn’t help their situation and they were missing some of their key players.

After losing 32-14 earlier in the day to Gryffindor, Money Ball took on Title Shot for Part 2 of their double header week. Gryffindor used their speed and MB had no answer on defense. After Gryffindor’s abysmal start to the session, they seem to have come together as a team as they make the push for playoffs. MB was without Glowacki so Scotty Pinto threw for them again. Their offensive strategy with Scotty at the helm is simple: deep to Radon. Don’t get me wrong, it appears to be working. By the second game of their day, MB looked able to move the ball well, putting up 43 points to TS’s 27. Award-winning Tommy Hughes had to leave early so TS called in Joe K. Devon made it for this game but Jill Iacono also had to leave so Molly McDermid stepped in. TS needs to work out their attendance issues to have any chance of a playoff run. Even though MB is sitting at the bottom of the division I think this team could be ripe for an upset if they can maintain any type of consistency for the rest of the session.

Top 3 of the Week:

1. All the females who played in the RivAlz game. I was so impressed by the representation the TSL had at that game and we are so proud of you all for sacrificing your time and raising money for such an important cause.

2. End Game- They quietly sit atop the R2 division at 6-1, after a blow out win over Hung Buffalo this week. We see you.

3. Rameer- Was called upon to step in as QB for his team twice this week and answered the call, coming back to tie a game then win a game. Great work!

The weather is finally shaping up for us so let’s try to keep our shit together and have some fun. There’s a good deal of big games next week including all the crossover C1/C2 contests. Time to see where everyone matches up and if the bitching all the C2 teams about moving up was warranted. R1 is also going to get a taste of playoff matchups with their ladder match week. The results of these games could throw a huge wrench in the playoff picture we will be seeing in a few weeks’ time. The game I’ll most certainly have my eye on is 10:00 on Field 4 when Matty’s Angels and Cunning Stunts have at it. There’s always more than just a win at stake between these two teams and I predict a high scoring, high energy, highlight reel-esque game all around. Until then, keep your fingers crossed the weather report stays as it is now and remember, I’ll be watching…

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

THE SENTINEL: WEEK 5

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 22 May 2019 12:34

Published: Wednesday, 22 May 2019 12:34

Written by Patrick McGovern

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THE SENTINEL:  WEEK 5

Seemed like yesterday we were talking about week 1 but here we are halfway through the regular season. Week 4 had its fair share of upsets, nail biters and blow outs. I highlighted the names of teams to make it easier for those of you who only care about whether your team was mentioned. To give credit where it’s due I did steal this idea from The Build, but he stole my colored signature line idea so now we’re square. Let’s get right into it.

Our first upset of the game was at 9am in Breakfast Club when Natural Born Kellers took on undefeated Schilling Em Softly. SES was missing QB Matty Ice so Kyle Conniff took the rock. Not a bad back up QB but now you’re missing WR1. History has shown us sometimes the best drafted teams in BC are the ones who show up and attendance won this game for NBK. Topper and Katie Keller’s crew put up 22 points to SES’s 0. Hopefully the cast and crew of SES will return for next week.

Peanut Butter Kelly Time and Bern Them All played a high scoring game with another bra and a bucket of mimosas on the line. Newman had some solid throws but canceled them out with a couple picks. Jamy played awesome but PBKT appeared to be missing quite a few players as well, including fan favorite 40 year plan guy. BTA also had some attendance issues among their guys. Travis Clev threw for most of the game then gave Rawdog a chance to show his stuff. Rumor around the locker room is the backup QB position for BTA is still up for grabs…

Hot TaMolly’s and EmC HammerTime came down to the wire and ended on a questionable missed call involving Boccio and a female receiver. This scenario sounds familiar. HTM had Garrett back and looking healthy after being placed on IR last week. Joe Schwab had an impressive deep catch that had ECHT asking themselves “Who was that guy?”. Ricky Austin wasn’t afraid to let it fly either and having Drew there to go get those jump balls made for an exciting match. After losing this game by 1 point, I’m sure ECHT is itching for a rematch. I know I am.

Word around the fields was Public Enemy was more worried about this game versus Marketing Mayors than last week’s big rivalry match up against Eyes Downtown. And for good reason. MM are an experienced team and know that it’s not over til it’s over. PE was up 2 scores when Cole threw a pick allowing MM to get within range. MM had a chance to win it but Bermel was ruled out of bounds ending the game in favor of PE 40-32. PE’s defense played outstanding and Carissa from MM looked to be in top form.

In C2, Money Ball took on a very short-handed Bullet Club. Jeff Easton has yet to make an appearance, however, Paul Nieman made his return to the fields. Travis Clev was back throwing for BC while MB went with backup QB Scotty Pinto in the absence of Glowacki. The game could easily be described as the Radon Show. Clearly Pinto’s favorite target, Radon was all over the field and received the vast majority of throws. BC didn’t have an answer for MB’s speed and Tim Dove drew up plays to capitalize. MB got its first win 34-23, despite a tension-filled ending to the game.

XTC and 1 Todd 2 Many played in what should have been a good game provided everyone had all their weapons. Unfortunately this was not the case for 1T2M. They were missing Pete, Sal, Nixon and Salvati meaning Topper had to play defense. To add insult to injury, Nick Sooch made his debut for XTC. Sooch picked up right where he left off, orchestrating his offense and dropping dimes on WRs who have been waiting ever so patiently for a QB who can get them the ball. No disrespect to 1T2M but I was rooting for XTC in this one as it was Coach Jay’s first win of the season and no one deserved a win more than him. 1T2M played Tight Ends in Motion later in the day with the same result. Walking around the sideline of this game, it just felt blah. Rough day to have a double header. Ricky Austin made his C1 debut for the season at QB while Alex is still on IR. Alex was watching intently from the sidelines. I don’t want to take anything away from TEIM as they played a good game and put up 39 points. Their play calling was spot on as we’ve come to expect and Lindsey showed off her shiftiness. Next week’s game against PE will be a big test to see where they belong in this division.

Hung Buffalo had a big day winning both of their back-to-back games. First up, they took it to Full Throttle allowing only 16 points while scoring 35. HB QB (Mark, I believe, correct me if I’m wrong) knows how to utilize all his players. This is a team that really has all the pieces together. A QB who knows the game, talented receivers and solid girls. Sounds like a winning formula to me. They played Cobblestone immediately following their win against FT and may have been a little gassed as the game was closer than expected. Cobblestone repeatedly left HB’s Kate wide open in the middle and she did what she does and caught the shit out of the ball. Cobblestone introduced some new girls, Taylor and Dyshawna (there was one more but I didn’t catch the name). Taylor is new to football but you’d never know it watching her play. Darryl definitely found some talent this time with his girls and he has his usual guys. My humble advice for CB: play to your strengths. Use Big Rig’s and Darryl’s nephews’ height and let them make plays.

Full Throttle and Buffalo Solar Solutions both went 0-2 on the day bumping the latter down from first to 5^th place. BSS could not seem to get anything going during their game against GLBS and GLBS was rolling. QB Josh looked in control the whole game and made some clutch throws. There is no shortage of athleticism and speed on this team. Damico (#15) had a great pick and Jay Elphick was a nightmare for BSS’ defense. Glenn proved his worth on both sides of the ball, making great catches and huge stops on defense. I’ve never noticed Jenna with the pink headband before today but that girl has skill. She’s quick and has hands to boot. BSS needs to right the ship but this coming week will be no walk in the park with End Game coming to town.

Full Throttle came up against End Game this week in what was a back and forth battle up until the end of the game when EG went up 11 at the 2 minute warning. Lou has some athletes on his team but he’s got to recognize when players are open sooner. He spent way too much time scrambling around waiting for plays to develop. EG had a huge girl edge with Steph and Purdy; however, Dave waited until he had to go to a girl and got into multiple 3-2 and 4-2 situations. Come on Dave, if you want to make the QB Power Ranking you need to be smarter.

Pink Pteratacos played Hope N Ruin in a close game that came down to the wire. PP QB Joe and captain Mark have come a long way from a couple seasons ago. Mark’s scouting has seemingly paid off as he has talented girls and guys all over the field. He also seems to be keeping his composure more, although winning tends to have that effect. HNR on the other hand, need to take a step back and gain some composure before heading into next week. Losing by 1 point is never fun and HNR did everything they could to pull this out. Their guys were lying out to make the catch and break up plays on defense every time I turned around. Nicole had a great game and made some nice catches. But guys, yelling at your QB that he just needs to throw you the ball every play and pointing fingers at your teammates probably isn’t the best strategy. Also, it makes you look like an asshole. Just something to keep in mind next game.

I’d like to start by apologizing to Frodo SWAGGins for getting their name wrong in my write up Week 1. My bad guys. There were some familiar faces in the ranks for FS this week. Nick and Tammy made an appearance as well as Emily Schilling who left End Game at the roster submission deadline. Sources say she was unhappy with the amount of girls on EG’s roster so negotiated with a team that offered more playing time. FS got their first win of the season against 3^rd and Schlong, who were missing 40 year plan guy. They looked cohesive in their offense, particularly at the end when they scored 3 girl TDs, and were able to make some key stops defensively. While predominantly new faces, it appears Garrett has scouted himself a solid team and I wouldn’t be surprised to see them rise in the rankings as the season progresses. Austin Weber had another big day on offense for 3&S as did Nicole Keller. 3&S currently sit second in the R1 division but looking at the standings and the way the games have been played, the division is wide open with 1 of several teams battling it out to face, most likely, All We Do Is Quinn in the finals.

The Cunning Stunts bested HomeTech 26-1 in what may be a league record for the first team to ever score just 1 point thanks to a returned 1-point conversion. HomeTech could not adjust to the methodical offense of CS. Jamy was consistently left wide open no matter where she was; side line, mid field, end zone, there she was with no one within an 8 foot radius. Austin tried his damnedest but could not seem to connect with his WRs despite the best efforts from Pick-1 guy. They also had a guy go off the field injured who did not return to the game.

Five Star Generals played Cunning Stunts at noon and reports were heard that Joey Batts was intimidated by the athletes on that team. Luckily for Batts, the Generals did not utilize their assets as they should. Guys, you have probably the best receiver in R3 in that tall guy with the white long sleeves on your team and you target him 3 times, why? Play smarter people. 5SG went on to play Come From Behind, who appeared to be missing some guys later in the day. QB Paul was not in attendance so one of the young guns stepped up to fill his shoes. He had some highlight worthy throws, particularly one to Jenn Stachura but defensively they could not keep up with the athletes of 5SG. “Gronk” looked unstoppable no matter who CFB lined up against him and intimidation was definitely a factor when he rushed. CFB’s girls are familiar faces to anyone who’s been around the league and they all had some notable plays during the game. 5SGs were able to pick apart CFB’s defense though and took the W 42-31.

Vandalay industries took on Hope N Ruin at 2:00 after HNR’s loss to Pink Pteratacos. HNR was able to regain composure enough to pull out a win but there was still bickering going on amongst the team. VI couldn’t do anything on defense. They have athletes but can’t seem to figure out how to put it together. Kyle made some decent plays for them but they are going to need to get some stops if they want to add to their win column. Being held off from scoring in the second half isn’t going to help the cause either.

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

THE SENTINEL:  WEEK 6

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:53

Published: Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:53

Written by Patrick McGovern

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THE SENTINEL:  WEEK 6

So Week 5 had an interesting, wet start. Everyone arrived at the fields bright-eyed and bushy tailed ready to play some Breakfast Club football when all of a sudden a bolt of lightning was spotted nearby. Mandatory safety measures were implemented so everyone went to the patio to wait it out. Not 2 minutes later the skies open up and it was torrential downpours for 45 minutes. Teammates of players who were not at the fields yet had their phones blowing up with inquires of “Are the games canceled?”. But we persevered and the co-ed football gods were gracious enough to let us proceed with our scheduled programming, minus Breakfast Club. After that it ended up being a beautiful day resulting in several sunburnt faces and shoulders. As mentioned by my colleagues, Memorial Day weekend always means double headers for those that were there, bye weeks for people who looked ahead at a calendar and short benches for those who did not. Public Enemy, Frodo Swaggins, Ugandan Warriors and No Punt Intended all went 2-0 on the day while Morning Wood and The Bambs fared less well going 0-2. Let’s discuss…

Public Enemy took on #XTC@Angry Buffalo in a close battle that ended with PE on top by only 3 points. Nick Sooch was back in midseason form making all the difference for this team considering the scoring differential in their last match up with this team. PE may have been more concerned about Heather’s birthday and the Jello shots on the sideline. Their defense was less than spectacular, one more bounce XTC’s way and this game could have had a much different ending. PE beat Tight Ends in Motion later in the day, continuing their undefeated streak. They certainly didn’t do it with flying colors though, as this game was won by 1 point. PE dominated the first half coming into half time up 2 scores. Their defense picked up the pace getting 3 picks for the team. TEIM marched right back in the second half, picking off Cole on the first play of the drive which resulted in a gender TD to start them off. It came down to the final minutes when TEIM scored a TD to come within one point. Ricky Austin went for the win. The game (and PE’s win streak) was theirs for the taking but Ricky threw the ball high out of the back of the end zone and co-ed football immortality passed them by. Such a heartbreaker…

Come From Behind took on Matty’s Angels with Topper in at QB. Both teams were not afraid to throw the ball and both defenses could not make a stop. Topper clearly understands the way to beat a gender team is deep balls to the tall guys not covered by Matty Ice. However, this strategy appeared to work for the MA’s as well except Matty threw it to any and every female on his team. This was a close one for 50 minutes, ending with MA on top 45-40.

TMA and Practice Squad played what was a close game at the start but ended far from it, with PS besting TMA 34-6. By half time, both teams were right in it. The management of PS made some half time adjustments and starting using their speed, TMA’s kryptonite. TMA had Rob, who I learned this weekend is Drunk Meg’s brother, so they had offensive weapons. They were also able to limit the productivity of PS’s girls, not an easy task as Renee is no joke. PS is proving to be a formidable opponent in R4, next week’s match-up between them and Jabronies will be a must watch.

A&A played Bullet Club in what started out as a blow out with A&A up 22-0. Travis Clev was back at QB for BC, however it looked like they finally had enough guys to even have people on the sidelines! Girls were the attendance problem this week as they had Katie Keller in as a sub. Travis got off to a rough start and BC’s defense could not stop the deep throws despite the plays being called out from the sidelines. A&A was short their usual girls but had their usual height and speedy guys. In the second half, BC regrouped and came back to win 38-22. Travis had a huge game on defense and Matty Ice and his receivers could not get back to the rhythm they had in the first half. Katie Keller caught a great deep pass to finish off the game.

The Ugandan Warriors played a struggling Five Star Generals, beating them 61-6. FSG finally got a win last week but that high came to an abrupt stop against Blasé and Co. To add insult to injury for FSG, Blasé played in jorts. Bold move Blasé, but if you’re going to pull something like that, don’t half ass it and wear shorts underneath. Commit! Matt Keita is back with his former ACE teammates and made some big plays for the UWs. FSG did not have their usual QB and the new guy couldn’t feed his receivers accurately. On a positive note, the red headed female on this team is someone to look out for. UW also have solid females as well as Frank who goes out there every game trying to make highlight reel plays. Later in the day UW played Hope N Ruin beating them 27-6. Big day for Uganda, let’s hope they can keep up whatever offense they ran this week. 

Frodo Swaggins and Ultimate Warriors went at it with UW coming up 1 TD short. I know it probably doesn’t make it any easier, in fact it could make it worse, but UW’s last 3 losses were within 1 TD or less. When will this team put Sam in at permanent QB? You have the one female in the entire league that can consistently and accurately throw, why not utilize her all the time. You have the athletes for her to throw to, take the 8 points per TD and let the woman play! Frodo Swaggins appear to have found a new QB, allowing Garrett to go back to WR1. Between him and Nick Buzcek, this team will be sure to give AWDIQ a run for their money the second time around.

Morning Wood and Peachy Platoon played at noon once the weather made it to the hottest point of the day. Dean Thompson proved he can launch the ball and his receivers proved they can go get it. Morning Wood continued to struggle and their schedule this week was not their friend. After a 22-30 loss and a small bench against PP, MW went up against Division leader All We Do Is Quinn and hit a wall. AWDIQ won 28-6 despite the defensive efforts of Dave Wilbern and the guy with the beard. Dave and Rachel Parker did all they could on offense as well but it was not enough against the speedsters and girls of AWDIQ.

Energy Buff beat a once again Dubey-less Title Shot team. It was a close game but I must say I have been impressed with what I’ve seen from EB recently. They are finally utilizing the assets that they have and playing to their strengths. They were missing Ben Stack and Kate and had Mai subbing for an extra female. Title Shot was also short players and brought in Garbacz to show everyone that he’s still got it. Award winning Tommy Hughes does what he does best and called plays that EB had trouble defending, particularly when utilizing his females, Jill and Devon. These two have easily the best hands collectively of any female tandem in the league and their catches and TDs kept TS in this game. To EB’s credit, they started catching on to TS’s play calling and adjusting accordingly. The guy with the glasses did have about 4 drops though. Sorry man, I gave you props when I saw you do well, going to need you to pick it up out there.

The Jabronies played the Bambs handing them a 41-27 loss. QB Joe Miano looked to be on point, both throwing and scrambling around to gain his receivers time to get open. They also had TEIM’s Alex and Kleckler on the sidelines as managers. The Jabronies weren’t afraid to try some trick plays and it paid off. The Bambs had difficulty making stops on defense and connecting on offense. If this team wants to make it past Week 1 of the playoffs, they need to work on getting both sides of the game together.

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers played a double header this week first against Puckett All-Stars then No Punt Intended. They were able to best PAS 39-20 but fell short against NPI immediately after. Fatigue may have been a factor but in this world sometimes that’s the hand you’re dealt. URTT and PAS know each other well. I would say that was the advantage for URTT but PAS has been struggling hard this season aside from an unexpected win over GLBS. Tim missed too many targets in the NPI game that he was making earlier in the day. Their females were their usual brand of awesome, Jackee grabbed everything that wasn’t overthrown to her and the girl rushing was making life hard for both QBs. Despite the missed targets, the game was won until Tim threw an unnecessary ball which was picked off by Kyle Conniff with under 2 minutes left in the game. You can throw the ball away Tim, come playoff time, that kind of mental lapse in judgment is going to make for some angry teammates and fans. Kyle looked dialed in for NPI against GLBS as well. He has females that can run and guys with some wiggle. Scoring a combined 83 points in their double header this team is creeping up the rankings. GLBS lost QB Josh to injury during the first half resulting in Glenn Bird being called up to play QB. NPI already had a significant lead by this point. GLBS fared much better in their first game against Hung Buffalo, pummeling them 26-8. HB appeared to be missing some of their guys but GLBS showed what had got them to this point in the season thus far.

The BiPolar Express also played a double header going 1-1 on the day. First team up was pAssless Chaps, headed by Coach Jay. BE could not get anything going on offense. Drop balls and a couple picks earned PC their first win of the season and a shutout to boot. Later in the day BE played The Bambs. If I were a betting man, I’d have been confident the reverse outcome of BE’s games would be the case but alas I’d have lost that bet. Fortunately I am not. They got their first win of the season with a shutout as well, putting up 18 points on the Bambs. Gordon is really starting to connect with his ladies. Renee and Sarah both had outstanding games and the whole team has come a long way defensively. The Bambs did have a short bench as they were missing many of their key players.

Top 3 of the Week:

1. pAssless Chaps and BiPolar Express for getting their first wins AND shutouts of the season.

2. Ugandan Warriors who, not only combined for 88 points in their double header week, but also rapidly climbed the charts making for another Blasé vs Angels rivalry matchup that was denied to us last time when ACE played in the league.

3. No Punt Intended with special emphasis on Kyle Conniff for leading his team to 2 victories and having the game winning pick in one of them.  

Let me conclude by saying my name is The Sentinel which comes from the word ‘sentry’ meaning one who watches. That said, watching is all I do so if you want to raise awareness for your team, yourself or your teammate, make something happen worth watching. There is talent all over this league and in every division. I can’t be at all the games but if I see from Field 2 someone making big plays over at Field 5 I’m going to head down in that direction. If I’m over at Field 5 and hear cheering and applauding from Field 1, I’m going there. Remember, my job is to watch so give me something worth seeing. See you next time…

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

THE SENTINEL: WEEK 4

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 15 May 2019 12:28

Published: Wednesday, 15 May 2019 12:28

Written by Patrick McGovern

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Week 3 has come and gone and teams are beginning to show their true colors. The sense of who is for real and who may be along for the ride is beginning to become apparent. From my wanderings, I’m noticing playmakers are becoming abundant in every division.

First off I have to mention the shenanigans going on in Breakfast Club. It seemed as though every game had some type of side bet. Bern Them All and EmC HammerTime had a candy bet, Peanut Butter Kelly Time had a bra on the line, but perhaps the most notorious of bets made to date, was a side side bet between Blasé and 40 Year Plan Guy. After some deliberating, it was decided the loser would get their make-up done to be worn the rest of the day. This was agreed upon by both teams then the wheels in Topper’s head started to spin and he asked himself that age-old question “What Would Lenny Do?” Enter: Punkin the Clown. Punkin showed up with her wagon in tow and proceeded to wait on the side line for the unfortunate loser. The game was close and 40 YPG did his best to get his team a win but they came up short and he was found post game with Punkin while Blasé looked on in triumph. He then proceeded to go to his 3^rd and Schlong game with full clown make-up. Punkin even stayed and made some animal balloons later in the day. JZ, Corey, and Austin played great on defense to help secure the win for Blasé.

Hot TaMolly’s played Schilling Em Softly in what turned out to be the latter’s closest game yet. The TaMolly’s were up 12 at one point without QB Garrett in attendance, but 2 picks in the final minutes of the game resulted in SES remaining undefeated.

Bern Them All won against a Drew-less EmC HammerTime 42-25. The game was closer than the score shows. Both teams played well defensively. The momentum of the game changed significantly when Katie Salisbury was injured during a play. She was walking on it but did not return to the game. We hope it is not a serious injury and she will be back playing soon.

After losing earlier and rocking a full make over, 40 YPG was looking for redemption during his 10:00 game. They played Slytherin That End Zone who were coming off a big win last week against Ultimate Warriors. Let me tell ya, SITE has some serious athletes on their roster. The one kid with the white compression pants is quick as hell, has some serious hops and hands to back all that up. They have height and speed all along their ranks. QB Newman fell in the QB ranking and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another drop following 2 more losses on the day (the other with BC). SITE appeared to have the game under control and scored a respectable 28 points, but 3^rd and Schlong is out to prove Week 1 was strictly because of the weather and put up 40 points. I know I’ve mentioned the tall guy before and I really should learn his name but he was making plays. Austin Weber had a pick at the end of the game to seal the deal. 40 YPG was in a much better mood when he went back with Punkin to complete his bet by putting on some glasses, a hula skirt and coconut bra.

Over on Field 4, Buffalo Solar Solutions played Full Throttle in a battle of deep balls. Both teams have height and speed and they used them accordingly. BSS has looked sharp and is quickly emerging as an early favorite for the R2 championship. They had the girl edge in this game with #3 making some great catches. BSS QB looked sharp and clearly has a ton of faith in his receivers. FT has Lou throwing and while neither of these guys have made the Power Ranking yet I wouldn’t count them out. Lou wasn’t afraid to let it rip down field but if I had a receiver who was give-or-take 6’8 I probably wouldn’t hesitate either.

Practice Squad gave the Bambs their first loss of the season in a real close game ending up at 32-29. PS’s QB looked like he absolutely could hold his own in a higher division. He was scrambling all over the place, taking the short yardage when it was given to him and letting it fly down the field. PS’s girls are legit, they ran crisp routes and have solid hands. I don’t know if the real tall guy that played for the Bambs in seasons past is still on the roster but I have yet to see him. I will be interested to see how they progress along with the other teams in this small division. 

A beacon of light appeared to shine down on Field 2 at noon this week as TSL Superstar League Icon Darryl made his glorious return to us. His hair was magnificent; however, the game did not go his way. Indecent Exposure, who has been a solid, if not middle-of-the-pack, team for several seasons now, was scoring at will. They put up 53 points to Cobblestone’s 20. Cobblestone could not find an answer on defense and IE has the experience to play their weaknesses. I’m not worried. Darryl always manages to find some stud athlete off UB or some former NFL practice squad player to take over and keep them in the season. This is just the start for Cobblestone.

Marketing Mayors took all the wind out of the sails of 1 Todd Too Many, winning 54-18. 1TTM just could not hold on to the ball in the first half, causing the game to spiral out of control. MM called in Andy Smith to QB in the second half. Then pretty much every one else got their chance at Q. Ya hate to see these types of games but eh, it happens. I have no doubt 1TTM will be able to forget it and take on this week fresh.

pAssless Chaps played TMA also at noon. Unfortunately for PC, they caught TMA on the week they finally started to gel. Despite being the slower of the teams, TMA was able to hold their own on defense with 2 picks and Ferger was back in form. Newest female addition, Val Testa, brought in a deep pass for a TD while Ron does what he does and made plays on both sides of the ball. PC are sitting at 0-4 and need Coach Jay to regroup and figure out what it’s going to take to salvage their season. The upside for them? R4 teams play each other multiple times during the season so having Coach Jay there to make adjustments is just what the doctor ordered.

A&A played Gryffindor in what was presumably Joey Batts’ worst nightmare of a game. While 22 points may not seem like a huge amount to give up on defense, Gryffindor went 0-fer and left with their tails between their legs. It’s got to be said Joey had a rough game. Maggie was a thorn in his side during the rush, combining for 4 sacks. She also could not be stopped or caught on offense. Word around the bar later was Gryffindor has too many throw-it-to-me type players in the huddle guaranteeing they will be open. That’s not how it works guys; there are no NFL scouts present.

It was hyped up as the game of the week. All eyes were going to be on Field 1 at 1:00 to see which team would not only remain undefeated but we also wanted to know if Eyes Downtown would get their revenge after losing in the championship game to Public Enemy last season. Both teams have made some additions to their rosters.  Still no sign of Bobby McConnell so once again Chadwick took the lead. Now I’ve heard ED lost Joey to injury. What was hyped up to be the “Game of the Week” honestly fell short. PE was missing some of their guys, we heard the usual whining and complaining we hear every game, and with a final score of 28-14 PE, it was neither the offensive nor defensive battle we were expecting. At the half it was 21-0 and many of the fans started making their way to other fields. It was just kind of blah.

Pucket All Stars played a double header in what were two completely different outcomes. In their first game against GLBS, they dominated the field scoring 38 points to GLBS 13. Early on it looked like it was going to continue to be the Jay Elphick show, but PAS took over and took charge. They have a solid offense and when they are healthy and have their full squad, will be a team to reckon with. Things did not go so well defensively in their match against End Game. They continued to produce on offense but had no answer for the deep ball from Dave. End Game added several girls, resulting in some of them choosing to play for their gender team instead. The little blonde girl; however, has shown some serious hands. She is one I will certainly be keeping an eye on. EG has a girl edge in that all their girls are talented but is having 5 girls on the roster a blessing or a curse?

BiPolar Express is a team that is finally coming together although their record may not show it. They have the talent across their ranks and it looked to be a sizable roster this week. They caught TMA on a day Ferger brought moonshine and we all know the odds significantly decrease for any team opposing them while imbibing the “secret stuff”. The defense kept the games close with Sarah leading the way, the girl is not afraid to sacrifice the body to make a tag. JJ returned this week as well which I’m sure BPE fans were excited about. In their game versus the Jabronies, BPE kept it interesting but could not generate enough offense to pull out a win. Jabronies suffered the loss of Riley at halftime but were able to capitalize on scoring chances where BPE was not.

Top 3 of Week 3

1. 40 YPG

                -If you read the article you already know why he’s here. This is what the TSL is all about, people. Make a fun bet, lose with dignity and take your punishment with a smile (one that was not painted on).

2. Maggie Lamantia

                -I’ve always known this girl was quick but watching her REPEATEDLY juke those poor defensive players made me literally LOL

3. Buffalo Solar Solutions

                -Sitting at the top of the R2 leader board, they are not only the last remaining undefeated team in the division, but their +/- differential is 50. Let’s see if their domination of this division will hold up facing URTT this week.


~ courtesy of...The Sentinel