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WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 22 September 2022 17:28; Published: Thursday, 22 September 2022 17:28; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 1276

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We have graphs, we have an expanded TOP 25 for our QB Rankings, and we have our very official, VERY serious "Best TSLers at the Bar" rankings.

Enjoy!

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Legends 47-16, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 38-8

The last time Bro was #1 in the Power Rankings was September 22nd 2021... Exactly one year ago today. You can't make this shit up folks. Tight Ends destroyed Legends and Grey Hair to completely flip the story in D1. This is TEIM's season, and the most underrated QB in TSL history has them undefeated through the first five weeks.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 50-42, lost to Tight Ends in Motion 47-16 (Legends), beat Zack Attack 51-48 (Stunts)

Legends lost, and lost badly on Saturday, which means the reign of Battaglia on top of the Power Rankings is over for now. Chris Cole remains the only QB to ever go wire-to-wire as #1 in our Rankings for a whole season (wayyy back in Spring 2019). Joey DID score 50+ in two other games on Saturday so not a terrible day all things considered.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 44-15

Bobby got a measure of revenge against the Sticky Bandits for ending his Spring session a few months ago by crushing them by nearly 30 points on Saturday. The top three teams in the D1 standings are averaging 41.5 PPG (TEIM) and 39.0 PPG (Eyes Downtown and Legends) and they have now all played against each other, with Eyes Downtown going 0-2 against those teams... and 4-0 against everyone else.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 43-41 (D1 Crossover game)

If there was a D2 team that was going to win a D1 Crossover game, it was always going to be Frodo Swaggins. The "D1.5" squad Garrett assembled barely squeaked by Passed Our Prime on Saturday, but they have to feel confident about the rest of their schedule, playoffs included. No Punt Intended might be the only threat to their undefeated season... and would you look at that, they play each other this week.

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 44-15

While there's no shame in losing to Eyes Downtown, we were shocked to see a Mike Thomas offense (even one missing a good chunk of its players) score only 15 points on Saturday. This is the QB that nearly led the League in scoring last session. Sticky Bandits are now 0-3 against the "Big Three" D1 teams this session, but to be fair they lost to all the top teams LAST session also, and still made the D1 Finals.

#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 43-41 (D2 Crossover game)

We're not sure who the underdog was in the Frodo vs Passed Our Prime game last week since Frodo is practically a D1 team (terrible luck of the draw on scheduling for P.O.P. there) but Hogan certainly delivered, scoring 41 points in a near win. Stop us if you've heard this one before, but Passed Our Prime is third worst in the entire TSL in defense, behind only the Replacements and Buffalo Vice.

#7 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 54-29, beat DILFS 36-21

No Punt Intended is still undefeated against their own division with their only loss coming in their season opening D1 Crossover game. Their defense has improved after a shaky start, and their offense is #2 in the entire TSL behind only Cunning Stunts. What will Kyle do when/if NPI upsets Frodo in the Finals and moves up to D1?

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to DILFS 48-46

Forty-six points really ought to be enough to win any game (we're sure Zack Attack would agree). The Untouchaballs defense couldn't support Burr and their offense though and the team dropped to 2-3 on the season with No Punt Intended awaiting them this week. Untouchaballs still has the talent to win D2, but momentum is not on their side this season.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Legends 50-42

It seems like the same story every week - Scared Hitless plays well, then barely loses to an elite team. Dylan STILL has yet to lose a game by more than one score this session. We suspect they're not going to get great betting odds from the Godfather's playoff preview in a few weeks, which is fair, but we wouldn't be shocked to see them go on a run.

#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 38-8

8 points isn't very good, Dave! Then again Legends didn't do a whole lot better against that Tight Ends in Motion defense, so maybe not a great opponent to judge yourself against. Grey Hair is currently last in their division in offense and point differential per game. Still, we admire their guts for jumping up to D1 when so many would have been afraid to try it. They're not far off these other teams.

#11 Travis Cleavenger - DILFS

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 48-46, lost to No Punt Intended 36-21

We gave up Dubey's spot to Travis this week, because he's essentially the starter every week now when QB1 doesn't show up. 48 points in a win against last season's D3 champs, and a two-score loss against red hot No Punt Intended... Not a bad performance for QB2!

#12 TJ Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat TOX 46-12

Puckett All-Stars are sixth in the TSL in scoring at 40.3 PPG and second in their division behind only Cunning Stunts. We could be seeing a playoff preview this week when TJ and team face off against the one-loss Interdimensional Lightning Falcons.

#13 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716

Last Week: Did Not Play

Haven't seen much of Dylan this session. Where is this guy?

#14 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing

Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 54-30

Puckett All-Stars gets a slight edge over Spinelli's in our Power Rankings on account of their better record, but Spinelli's DOES have a slightly better points per game at the moment (40.7 PPG, fifth in the TSL). Nick's lead should only get wider this weekend too after Spinelli's takes on Cobblestone.

#15 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting

Last Week: Lost to Get Schwifty 29-14, lost to Mountain Dew Me 34-16

If this is the start of Scott Seniors Starting's usual mid-season downturn... well, it's predictably RIGHT on schedule. Losses to Mountain Dew Me and previously winless Get Schwifty are hard to explain otherwise, unless Scotty was missing half his team. S.S.S. is 18th in the TSL in scoring but somehow still 1st in their division? D3 must be more defense heavy this season, apparently.

#16 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro

Last Week: Beat the Replacements 35-6, beat Freeballers 20-13

Buffalo Vice Retro wins! Buffalo Vice Retro wins! Seth led his team to not one but two victories this week, against... okay, the Replacements probably doesn't mean as much, but Freeballers is a quality win! Good to see this team put up some W's after a tough start to the season.

#17 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 38-32

Can't Touch This is square in the middle of the D3 standings right now with a 2-2 record and a -8 point differential on the season. A win over Itches and Ohs this week won't pull them even with Bullet Club, but it COULD put them at #2 in the division with just a couple weeks to play. Ryan only got better throughout Spring session - if he keeps improving this Fall in D3, Can't Touch This could be a real contender.

#18 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 38-32

The wheels have fallen off for Practice Squad. Just one season after being unstoppable, the same core of people now has the 30th best offense and 32nd best defense in the TSL. We know it's a big jump from D4 to D3, but Can't Touch This seems to be managing it...

#19 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat 716 46-26

We probably should have been ranking Jeff for weeks, but his early attendance/injury issues made us unsure who was actually going to QB for Bullet Club this session. Well, it's Jeff, and he's spectacular. Bullet Club continues their improbable undefeated season and Easton is a major part of it (with credit where credit is due to John Langley... see our graphs below!)

#20 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack

Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 51-48

Zack Elphick scored 48 in a losing effort and the Attack JUST missed out on the Top Ten offenses in the TSL this week at 37.2 PPG. Their two losses this season are by a combined four points, so it's safe to say these guys have been "competitive" this season.

#21 Ryan Henry - TMA

Last Week: Beat Come From Behind 43-22, beat Let's Get Reccked 36-20

Finally, the disrespect ends for TMA as we include a long overdue Ryan Henry in our Power Rankings this session. Or one could argue the disrespect continues that we're not rating him higher despite being the top offense in D5 (and tenth best in the TSL). TMA is undefeated and nearly doubling the next best team in their division in point differential per game. This is what we call a "playoff favorite".

#22 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Lost to TMA 43-22, beat Today's Feast 26-18

Come From Behind's only two losses this session have come against TMA and... TMA. These teams are definitely meeting in the D5 finals, right? We can't imagine anyone else stopping Paul at this point.

#23 Joe Miano - Interdimensional Lighning Falcons

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Interdimensional Lightning Joe last week.

#24 Cody McGregor - Mountain Dew Me

Last Week: Beat Scott Seniors Starting 34-16

Full disclaimer: all the McGregor's look exactly the same to us, so we're not sure who's throwing for Mountain Dew Me. We'll assume it's still Cody, the man once described by his captain as "the youngest of the four brothers, made from the leftovers. Fueled by bud light and mcchicken sandwiches. He was moved from receiver to QB due to lack of speed in his legs but makes up for it with power in his arm".

#25 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs

Last Week: Beat Get Schwifty 22-12

Itches has always been one of those "Passed Our Prime" type teams where the offense carries the defense, and when they win it's usually a 43-42 shootout where their girls score about five TDs. Interestingly this season though their offense is seventh in their division while their defense is fifth, and their last two games they've given up only 25 points. About time Steve got a little help from the other side!

***

A couple weeks ago we showed a graph of the best offenses in the League by division. It was interesting (at least to us, maybe you hate graphs) but it only tells half the story. Offense really doesn't mean a thing if your team is allowing 45 points per game on defense. The best way to understand overall team performance is point differential per game - so that's what we've graphed this week.

Positive differentials (average points scored per week are greater than average points allowed) are shown in green while negative differentials are shown in pink. We didn't label each bar with the actual number because it looks too "busy" with all that data distracting from the visual, but you can get a sense of where your team is relative to others around the League.

So what did that tell us about each division?

D1 was pretty much viewed as a two team race between Legends and Tight Ends in Motion coming into last week, but Legends is actually only third in point differential per game (PDPG). Tight Ends are crushing the rest of the League at +22.5 PDPG, while Eyes Downtown are second in D1 (and third in the League) at +16.3 PDPG. Of course, this is all pretty skewed by Tight Ends kicking Legends' ass this past week, but that's how it always goes with this type of data. Outside of the "Big Three" there's not much difference between the other four teams in D1 statistically.

Two things stand out in D2: there are two great teams that are much better than the rest... and one team that is losing by nearly 40 points per game. Untouchaballs, Freeballers and to a lesser degree DILFS are all kind of mediocre, but Frodo Swaggins and No Punt Intended are just a mile ahead right now. Poor Replacements... that is one long pink bar on the graph.

Undefeated Bullet Club having the best PDPG in D3 isn't a surprise. What IS a bit surprising to us is that 716 was second. They're showing as sixth in the standings right now, but that's mostly a product of them only playing four games so far this year, apparently. D3 doesn't seem to have any truly "bad" teams this session as it has the narrowest gap between the best team and the worst team in a division (19 PDPG). If you're looking for playoff upsets, this seems to be where you're going to find them.

Cunning Stunts has the best record in D4 but the gap between their point differentials and Zack Attacks and Pucketts is next to nothing. The TOP of this division is more balanced than any other in the League, although there's a clear drop-off after the best three teams.

D5 is clearly TMA's to lose. Come From Behind is the ONLY other team with a positive point differential, and they've already lost to TMA twice this session (once by a point and once by, well, much more than a point). Every other team in the division... we don't want to say they have ZERO chance in the playoffs because anything can happen (just ask Travis Henry's Kids last year!) but the odds are quite low that anyone other than TMA or Come From Behind will be hoisting a D5 trophy at the banquet this year.

Blitzkrieg is the #1 team in the D6 standings but somehow only #3 in the graph behind Not So Sticky and Superior Moser Squad. Like D3 and D4, this division seems open to just about anyone. If you toss out Not So Sticky's biggest win of the season over a short-handed Lenny's Ladies team, the best team in the division would be Superior Moser Squad... with only +4.8 PDPG. No one's running away with the D6 title this season!

And just because we like making graphs, here's one more for this week:

***

How about that "Best Female Players in the League" ranking last week? Pretty spot on, right? Okay, no one EVER agrees with those things and it's impossible to get a real consensus. Having said that, OUR biggest pet peeve is when people say "that list was so fucked up" without offering a better one. Think you know better than we do? Prove it and send us YOUR rankings. It's not easy!

But in the spirit of "easy" rankings, here's a much lighter, much less controversial ranking for this week - We give you... the Best TSLers at the Bar (active players only)

10. Buddy Lee

9. Kelly Liddle

8. Jenna Blachura

7. John Langley

6. Darryl Carr

5. Jeremy Streit

4. Joe K

3. Ricky Recckio

2. Dave Walter

1. Garrett Beesing

"What about Zack Attack??? What about Katie and Stegs, what about Steph, what about the Clarkes, what about TOPPER?"

Yeah. We've got a lot of great bar people that make Saturdays fun for all of us. We could have easily done a Top Fifty. What a League!

***

What? You hated that list, but didn't email us to make suggestions? Don't make that mistake again!! Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and TELL US who you think we should include on our next list. Or don't, and live with our shitty opinions. This is what's next (and it's a big one!):

September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? Graphs should have more number labels on them? Come From Behind and TMA deserved better on the Best TSLers at the Bar list?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 15 September 2022 19:56; Published: Thursday, 15 September 2022 19:56; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 1215

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We've expanded to a Top Twenty in our QB rankings AND we've covered the Top Twenty female players in the League as well?? So much for you guys to disagree with this week! Remember: female player rankings are SUPPOSED to be a compliment to those players, not an insult that we didn't rank YOUR girls (or that we didn't rank them higher). We're not worried, we're sure you'll have a very mature response to the rankings below... Right....

Enjoy!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 32-24 (Legends), beat Spinelli's Plumbing 44-40, beat Buffalo Vice 52-32 (Stunts)

Last week we wrote "Three wins, zero losses, one hundred twenty-two points scored for Joey Batts on Saturday. Legends and Stunts are a combined 7-0 to start the season, and Joey has not been lower than 2nd in our Power Rankings since... well, the day Travis built him a super-team." This week he got... three more wins, zero losses, 128 more points, and a combined 10-0 record to start the season. There are six undefeated teams in the TSL and two of them have Joey Batts at QB.

#2 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 46-32, beat Untouchaballs 49-25

95 points for Bro on Saturday with two big wins over Sticky Bandits and Untouchaballs. In case the League forgot about how good Bro is, Tight Ends and their undefeated record are ready to remind everyone.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 36-26, beat Buffalo Vice Retro 54-0

The top three QBs this week all scored a boatload of points, huh? Bobby had 90 on Saturday including a 54-nothing blanking of Buffalo Vice Retro. Is it fun to win 54-0, or does it get boring by the end?

#4 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Lost to Legends 32-24, lost to Tight Ends in Motion 46-32

The Sticky Bandits didn't lose a regular season game by more than 6 last session, but they lost two by more than that on Saturday. Alright, it was against the top two teams in the League so the sky is hardly falling here.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for D2 powerhouse Frodo Swaggins this week.

#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game AND no reffing for Hogan this past week. No wonder all the games went smoothly.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 49-25

Crossover games are tough. They're even tougher when you're missing half your squad! Not much to say about this beatdown. Untouchaballs seem to be coasting through the regular season just waiting to crush teams in the playoffs.

#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 36-26

Scared Hitless is 2-3 but they haven't lost a game by more than one score this season. Not the kind of team you'd like to see in the playoffs when one small mistake could mean the end of your season.

#9 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Beat DILFS 51-35

51 points is a good day any way you want to look at it. We won't read too much into Grey Hair's season on a crossover opponent started by a backup QB, but hey, Eickhoff didn't choose the schedule and a win's a win.

#10 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Beat the Replacements 44-22, beat Buffalo Vice Retro 31-12

From "brand new-ish team" to 4th highest scoring team in the League. That was quick. We figured Kyle's offense would be good after last week's battle against Scared Hitless but the defense gave up only 34 points in two games on Saturday too.

#11 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week: Did Not Play

At what point do we cross off Dubey on this list and write in Travis instead? Attendance matters!

#12 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716

Last Week: Did Not Play

Dylan didn't play this week and Freeballers put up 61 without him. Is he holding them back??? (Short answer: no)

#13 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 46-23, lost to Itches and Ohs 39-36

We forgot this team existed after they took the last two weeks off. They're back, and Scotty went 1-1 on Saturday to keep his team right near the top of the D3 standings just behind Bullet Club. Didn't he used to throw for those guys back in D2?

#14 TJ Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 32-14, beat Zack Attack 32-31

Puckett F'n All-Stars are 4-1 with the second-best record and second-best points per game in D4. Strong start to the season for TJ and company. That 51-44 Week One loss to Cunning Stunts must really annoy them every time they look at the Standings.

#15 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing

Last Week: Beat Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 38-24, lost to Cunning Stunts 44-40

Four points short of keeping pace with D4 giants Cunning Stunts and a 14-point win over previously undefeated Interdimensional Lightning Falcons is a pretty great day for Spinelli's. It's always strange to see a team do so well against their division's top teams, and then play to a tie against one of the division's cellar-dwellers another week.

#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Scott Seniors Starting 46-23

Practice Squad might be in a full-on spiral right now. After an impressive Week One win, B has failed to lead the Squad to a W in any of their next four outings. We know this isn't D4 anymore, but they've got to be better than this, right?

#17 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 54-0, lost to No Punt Intended 31-12

12 points across two games on Saturday, 12.8 PPG on the season and an 0-4 record can't possibly be what Buffalo Vice Retro had in mind when they splintered off into a D2 team this session. We're not sure what the problem is, attendance, play calling or execution?

#18 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the League's POSSIBLY strongest arm this weekend (Ryan vs Paul Lovullo arm-wrestling match, let's make it happen).

#19 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack

Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 32-31

Zack Attack finally lost this week but they're still doing great in the standings (and compared to our expectations). This was a team that always played great defense but is suddenly scoring nearly 35 PPG. Big credit to Zack for whatever adjustments he's made this session (even if it's just adding Sam Lattuca).

#20 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind

Last Week: Lost to TMA 35-34

Come From Behind lost the battle of the undefeated D5 teams on Saturday, but we're still somehow ranking their QB over TMA's right now. It's splitting hairs really, but Paul has a SLIGHTLY better points per game (7th in the League to TMA's 12th) so he gets the nod.

***

Here we go! The official TSL Best Female Players in the League rankings that we assume you will all 100% agree with and not complain about at ALL at the bar...

Our goal here is to rank the greatest active female players in the TSL, as determined by our own panel of experts along with input from everyone that emailed us this week to weigh in. We didn't take all of your suggestions (we don't even know who some of the girls we were emailed about are) but when you see the same names over and over again it's kind of obvious who the best really are. So here's what we're looking for on our "Greatest Female Players" list:

Speed, hands, pass rushing, any kind of playmaking ability; we're not prioritizing one specific skill over another, we're trying to rank the best female players that would improve your chance of winning if they were on your team.
Attitude and personality doesn't factor in UNLESS that player's intangibles are extremely great (motivational, positive teammates lift everyone up) or extremely bad (toxic complainers will bring a team down even if they have elite skills)
They must be actively playing this session. No, being on a roster and never showing up (or missing half the season so far) doesn't count. If you haven't been playing regularly (hi Robin!) you're not eligible.

So that's our criteria. Please keep in mind that there are about two HUNDRED women in the League and we're showing only the Top 10% of that here, so it is no insult not to be named here, or to be named toward the lower end of this list. You're welcome to complain about how disrespected you feel (you probably will...) but our intention here is the exact opposite, to show respect to the best of the best (in our unscientific opinions). With that being said... here are your top Twenty Female Players in the TSL according to our panel of experts!

#20: Nicole Sharick - Sticky Bandits

Nicole is one of the better female deep threat receivers in the League as she has the speed and the hands to pull in a deep ball whenever a defense thinks they can sleep on her. They really can't.

#19: Sam Lattuca - Zack Attack

Where do you want to start? The great hands, the smothering defense? Or maybe the fact that she's the best (part-time) female quarterback in the League? Zack Attack immediately upgraded by adding Sam.

#18: Katie Swanson - Spinelli's Plumbing

Katie is one of the most reliable female receivers in the League. Just a great, consistent playmaker and routinely called out by other players that write in to us to say, "don't forget about Katie Swanson!" Don't worry, we haven't.

#17: Ashtin Fiegel - Practice Squad, Cunning Stunts

The "fast girl" on Practice Squad, Ashtin has the speed to complement Renee's route running in one of the better one-two punches in the League. And just when D4 thought they were finally rid of her, she joined the Stunts!

#16: Kayla Voss - Grey Hair - Don't Care, 716

Every Kayla Voss game seems to have at least one great play where the sideline collectively says, "who is THAT girl"? That girl is Kayla, and she's a freakishly good athlete. If you don't know her, you will soon.

#15: Emma Patterson - Tight Ends in Motion, Buffalo Vice Retro

Is there a faster receiver in the TSL right now than Emma Patterson? We're not sure. She might not have the big game experience of some of her TEIM female teammates, but no one can doubt her abilities.

#14: Misty Himes - Zack Attack

Misty is such a dangerous receiver who can attack a defense in so many different ways. A short gain turned into a big one? A full-field TD catch? Misty seems to have every move in her skillset.

#13: Rachel Parker - Buffalo Vice Retro, Lenny's Ladies

Rachel is an aggressive defender and an outstanding receiver that always puts herself in position to make big plays. You can't beat her combination of route running, instincts, speed and hands.

#12: Maddie Norton - Legends, Lenny's Ladies

Legends, Cobblestone, Lenny's Ladies, Varsity Has Beens, Maddie has immediately upgraded any team she has ever joined with her combination of speed and hands. Elite level talent.

#11: Renee Lantz - Practice Squad, Cunning Stunts

It's possible that no one, male or female, gives a better effort on Saturdays than Renee Lantz. A fantastic route runner with great hands, any defender needs to give Renee their fullest respect or she'll make them look foolish.

#10: Laura Streeter - Sticky Bandits, Itches and Ohs

Laura is the ironwoman of the TSL who plays just as ferociously in her fourth game of the day as she does in her first. Athletic and aggressive, Laura isn't afraid to dive around the field to make a play.

#9: Christine Krol - Sticky Bandits, Not So Sticky

The better Krol is one of the League's best females in coverage and she has the speed and skills to catch breakaway deep TDs as well... when she's not too busy throwing them.

#8: Taylor Pagano - Legends, Cunning Stunts

When Taylor's not getting drunk at the bar (her primary focus in the TSL) she can be seen dominating on the fields. Whether you need smothering defense or a big play on offense, her game is as strong as her attitude.

#7: Katie Keller - DILFS, Scott Seniors Starting

League legend Katie Keller continues her run of dominance as one of the best female athletes in the TSL. Hands, instincts and a knack for playmaking make her the focus of any team she's on.

#6: Amber Hay - Grey Hair - Don't Care, No Punt Intended

The League's most improved female player continues to get better each session. Amber is a Breakfast Club captain, a D2 team captain, and a receiver that seems impossible to cover at times.

#5: Heather Cepuchowski - Legends

The best girl on the best team in the League, Heather is a great route runner who rarely drops a pass. Someone has to make Joey look good out there...

#4: Jamie Warren - Scared Hitless, No Punt Intended

The perfect combination of speed and athleticism, Jamie makes her presence felt every week on the fields. She's also debatably the best female defender in the League.

#3: Caitlyn Mason - Buffalo Vice Retro, Buffalo Vice

No one in the League is more dangerous with the ball in her hands. Caitlyn can stop on a dime and juke you out of your cleats. She doesn't have to run high difficulty routes, because she turns the easy ones into huge gains.

#2: Katie Salisbury - Tight Ends in Motion, Frodo Swaggins

Katie is officially back after missing most of last season with an injury, and she's still the same nightmare to cover that she used to be. If you've played against her, you know. The only other girl on this list so far to receive ANY votes for #1.

#1: Melanie Linsmair - Scared Hitless, Untouchaballs

Mel is still the gold standard two seasons in a row now. She's the human highlight reel, she's the scariest player on the list, she's the girl you will NEVER defend with another girl. The best in the League.

Common complaints of this Ranking in the past include:

"They totally snubbed this girl on my team!"
"I can't believe they think THIS girl is better than THAT girl!"
"This is all just a popularity contest!"

Yeah, yeah, we get it. You disagree. Just make sure when you're complaining about it at the bar that you focus on why you or another girl should be HIGHER, and not why someone else should be LOWER, because that's always a bad look.

***

September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? Any "Best Females" list without Brandy or Rachel Grampp is a joke? you know deep down that all twenty girls on this list are better than yours, but you want to complain they were robbed anyway?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 01 September 2022 12:24; Published: Thursday, 01 September 2022 12:24; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 1340

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

How do you feel about your team two weeks into the season? Are you one of the 15 teams that are still undefeated? Maybe you're one of the 14 teams that haven't won a game yet? Or maybe you're No Punt Intended and your team hasn't even played a game? Either way: it's EARLY, and we preach the same thing at around this point every session: don't get too excited if you're winning and don't get too panicked if you're losing. You're not as good as your undefeated record, and you're (probably) not as bad as your winless record. All things even out in time, so try not to freak out and scream at your quarterback just because he missed a critical play last weekend. He (or she!) will learn and do better next time.

Given the light volume of games the first week, we're still only showing a Top Ten in our Power Rankings below. We know, we know. We need to expand it next week to include more players, and we will. But this is what you get for now:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 51-28 (Legends)

Imagine moving up from D3 to D2, and your first game in your new division is... a crossover game against the defending D1 champs. That's some rotten luck right there for Freeballers. Joey Batts and his over-powered teammates continue to roll, destroying all in their path. It's been years since we've had an undefeated team in any division though, so these guys have to lose eventually, we think.

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 29-22, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 48-32

The Sticky Bandits don't blow their opponents away, but they seem to have a knack for consistently winning the close ones. Mike Thomas starts the season 2-0 as Sticky Nation has their eyes set squarely on a rematch with Legends in this year's D1 Finals.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 31-26

Eyes Downtown dropped a close one on the last play of the game to the new and improved (or old and improved?) Tight Ends in Motion. Bobby is still gelling with some new receivers this session and we imagine he won't be held to less than 30 points too often. We have him ranked above Bro for at least one more week based on the body of work Bobby put together this Spring (that we assume will carry over).

#4 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 38-7, beat Eyes Downtown 31-26

The former D1 champion QB is back for Tight Ends in Motion, and the results are exactly what his squad hoped for. Tight Ends have already matched their win total from last season in one day, and they're ready to put the disastrous Spring 2022 season behind them. How many D1 championship games in a row did they make when Bro was QB? Three? Kleckler looks to start a new streak this season.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat DILFS 49-32

We knew they'd put up some points with their new receivers but 114 in two games? That's as many as Grey Hair - Don't Care... in half the number of games. Garrett has to be feeling good about the roster he's assembled right now, especially after taking down one of their strongest potential threats in the DILFS. Any conversation about the favorites in D2 has to start with Frodo Swaggins.

#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 36-32, lost to Tight Ends in Motion 38-7

Passed Our Prime got the snot kicked out of them in their first ever D1 game, then rebounded to win their first ever D1 game an hour later. We think Hogan has to be happy with a 1-1 record in his first weekend in Western New York's strongest division. Passed Our Prime's Achilles heel has always been their attendance; if their people show up all session, we think they'll surprise some people.

#7 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 49-32

DILFS really got both ends of the D2 spectrum quickly this session, facing the "are they going to be okay?" Replacements in Week 1 and then the "I think they'd be okay in D1" Frodo Swaggins the next week. The result was the 1-1 record we would have predicted. 17 points isn't a huge loss, and Dubey and company might be just a couple adjustments away from taking the rematch next time they play Frodo.

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice Retro 37-19

Untouchaballs surprised exactly no one by starting strong in their new division with a win over Buffalo Vice Retro. They were the heavy favorites when they beat Frodo Swaggins in the D3 Finals a couple months ago... will the roles be reversed if they meet in the D2 Finals this session? We're getting ahead of ourselves of course, but Burr's mobility and chemistry with his receivers is strong enough that we're already viewing these guys as top contenders in their new division.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 29-22

Scared Hitless may be 0-2 but they've only lost their first two games in D1 by a combined 17 points. They were a score away from potentially beating last season's second best D1 team this week, and they lost by only ten (or "one score" when you have Melanie and Jamie) to Grey Hair the week before. They're competitive, and they were the only team to actually defeat a D1 squad in a Crossover game last session... Dylan is just waiting on his first "true" D1 win.

#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 48-32, lost to Passed Our Prime 36-32

Grey Hair - Don't Care was missing a few of their top players this past week and it showed, as they dropped two to fall to 1-3 on the young season. Eickhoff was probably hoping to be at least 2-2 right now but at least they've got the "win a D1 game" monkey off their back already. Now they just need an upset over one of the "top" teams to really announce their arrival.

This was a short article, huh? Look, you know how we operate at the TSL Power Rankings. We thrive on graphs and analytics and it's just too early in the season to give you any of those. They would be pointless and misleading... although it would be fun to show Travis Henry's Kids averaging only 19 PPG.

This article will get longer and more colorful as the season goes on, so stay tuned and we promise we'll cover more QBs and more charts than ever.

Here's a reminder of our schedule for what we plan to rank this season OTHER than just our usual QB Rankings. If you have feedback ahead of these articles and you want to weigh in, you can always email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. If you email us AFTER the fact to complain about how much you hated them, we'll just tell you that you should have let us know sooner!

September 15: Best Female Players in the League
September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? you want a Worst QBs in the League ranking so you can read about Topper's Breakfast Club performances? you threw a TD as a backup QB in the closing seconds of a blowout loss and somehow you think we should be talking about that?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 08 September 2022 14:21; Published: Thursday, 08 September 2022 14:21; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 1150

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

This week we expand our coverage to the Top 15 QBs in the League (can you believe your team's QB STILL didn't make our list?), we introduce our first "way too early to matter" team scoring graph, and we give you your FINAL WARNING to write us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let us know who you think the Top Female Players in the League are, because we're publishing that list next week.

Enjoy!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 39-33, beat Eyes Downtown 41-26 (Legends), beat Cobblestone 42-24 (Cunning Stunts)

Three wins, zero losses, one hundred twenty-two points scored for Joey Batts on Saturday. Legends and Stunts are a combined 7-0 to start the season, and Joey has not been lower than 2nd in our Power Rankings since... well, the day Travis built him a super-team.

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Sticky Bandits this past week, but Mike will get a shot at the #1 and #3 ranked QBs in a doubleheader next week that could have a huge impact on the D1 race for the #1 seed (and first round bye).

#3 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Did Not Play

Bro moves up a spot without taking a snap this week! This guy just makes it look too easy.

#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Legends 41-26, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 48-23

Eyes Downtown easily handled Grey Hair - Don't Care before falling to the reigning D1 champs. Bobby is 1-2 and sitting in 5th place in the standings right now... but does anyone think that's going to last? E.D. started 0-2 last session before they ripped off a huge winning streak. The schedule has to get easier from here on out, and we'd be shocked if this team finishes under .500.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 24-22, beat Freeballers 31-20

Missing his best receiver, Garrett went out and beat one of the best teams in his division, as Frodo avenged last season's finals loss to Untouchaballs before handling Freeballers. Who are the contenders in D2 right now? With the possible exception of 0-1 No Punt Intended (who haven't even played a game against their own division yet) Frodo has now played and beaten all their strongest rivals.

#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week: Lost to Legends 39-33, lost to Scared Hitless 44-33

People questioned whether Passed Our Prime would even be able to field a competitive team without Sean and Kyle after moving up to D1 this session... and Hogan responded by nearly beating the D1 champs in the biggest game in his team's history. Sure, they seemed to lose a little steam later in the day losing again to Scared Hitless, but no one in D1 can be approaching this team thinking it's an easy win anymore.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat the Replacements 38-12, lost to Frodo Swaggins 24-22

What was the last Untouchaballs loss? Freeballers back in D3 last session, right? Seems shocking to see them lose, even to a team as hot as Frodo Swaggins is right now, but after beating the Replacements they're still one of only two teams in D2 to boast a winning record right now. Burr will be alright.

#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 44-33, beat No Punt Intended 57-48

This was the bounce back week that Dylan needed after Scared Hitless went 0-2 to start their first D1 campaign. 101 points scored and two wins on Saturday puts Hitless smack in the middle of the D1 standings right now. Yes, one of those was a nine-point win against a team from a lower division playing its first game in years, but a win's a win.

#9 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week: Did Not Play

No Dubey, no difference this week for the DILFS. We THINK they're 1-1 with their starting QB and 1-1 with their backup QB. As the ONLY returning team in D2 this session we assumed they'd be heavy favorites, but are they already falling behind some of their newer rivals?

#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 48-23

Grey Hair has now lost to all of last season's "big three" teams in D1. If they're going to improve on that 1-4 record, they're going to have to do it against the bottom half of their division (or, luckily for them, against a crossover D2 team which is their schedule for next week).

#11 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 31-20, beat DILFS 39-20 (Freeballers)

Does Dylan QB both Freeballers and 716 now? We're not sure. We ARE pretty sure he played both Freeballers games this past week and split the doubleheader to keep his team in the hunt for decent playoff seeding. 1-2 doesn't sound great, but one of those losses is to D1 Legends in the worst possible crossover game, and one of them is to Frodo who are killing just about everyone this season. We think Freeballers will finish with a winning record.

#12 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting

Last Week: Did Not Play

These guys haven't played since Week One! Scotty, come back and do something so we have something to write about.

#13 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Lost to Scared Hitless 57-48

No Punt Intended FINALLY played a game in Week Three of the season, and of course the schedule matched them up with Scared Hitless in a D1 crossover game. What did we learn? Kyle's offense already looks fantastic. His defense... needs some work. But if a 9-point loss to a D1 team is how No Punt Intended STARTS the season, the sky's the limit for how they can finish it after some more time to gel together.

#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 35-17

B, what's going on here? You guys destroyed D4 last session, moved up a division and beat Mountain Dew Me in the Rematch of the Century... and since then you've gone 0-2-1. This isn't the Practice Squad we're used to. Believe it or not this is still the team we'd give the best betting odds to win D3, but they have GOT to start showing that soon.

#15 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro

Last Week: Lost to DILFS 33-20

Buffalo Vice Retro is 0-2 and averaging less than 20 PPG. Wasn't Vice historically known for its explosive offense? Look, we get it, D2 is stacked with great teams this session (and also the Replacements are there) but Seth's going to have to figure something out with his receivers to pick up some wins.

***

We've said many times in this article over the past couple weeks that we didn't want to show team performance charts yet because it's WAY too early in the season for that stuff to have any meaning (No Punt Intended has only played a single game!). And that's still true. But screw it, here's a "way too early to mean anything" chart for you on each team's points per game (sorted by division). Like last season, we included the Super Bowl era Buffalo Bills at the bottom as a comparison so you can see how much better (or worse) you are. As always, forfeit games are excluded from the numbers below.

***

NEXT WEEK we kick off our Non-QB rankings with the Best Female Players in the League. This always generates a decent amount of controversy, as people ALWAYS disagree with the rankings and think that their girls got shafted... and yet they rarely write in to advocate for the girls they think are better. Don't make that mistake!! Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and TELL US who you think the best girls in the League are. Or don't, and live with our shitty opinions.

September 15: Best Female Players in the League
September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? Woodpeckers can't REALLY be averaging 9 points a game, can they? there's a new girl who has caught three passes on your team and you're worried she won't get mentioned in our Female Players rankings?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

Week 1 Power Rankings

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 25 August 2022 17:10; Published: Thursday, 25 August 2022 17:10; Written by Patrick McGovern; Hits: 1172

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down. We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing. In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are 50 teams in the TSL this season! Are you going to show rankings for all 50 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close. At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week. We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 30, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes. The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best. We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be. Generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session. The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really. A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference. It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women. The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere. And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability". If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet! How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well. If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you. There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet. Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to introduce yourself, and please, be patient. If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Bobby McConnell just yet. Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

"What about Breakfast Club QBs?"

Breakfast Club is for fun, not crushing your opponents. We don't put a lot of stock in the stats from Breakfast Club, and typically don't include it in our Rankings.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you. In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar … ranking anything is always fun. Unless we rank you last, of course. Unlike previous years where we just sort of threw out random rankings throughout the season, we're going to TRY to keep a little more structure this session. See a list of dates below for what we plan to rank each week (besides, of course, quarterbacks).

“You keep saying ‘we’. Who is writing this? Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this. Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week. Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.

And that's how the Power Rankings work. We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy. Our official predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course):

None of our Spring 2022 Division Champions will repeat and win again this Fall. Not the five that won and bravely moved up a division, and not Legends in D1.
No "new" teams will finish with a winning record. We're looking at you, No Punt Intended, Replacements, Get Shwifty, Let's Get Reccked, Superior Moser Squad and Punt Cakes.
Tight Ends in Motion rebounds from last season's terrible record to finish as one of the top three seeds in D1.
No team has finished undefeated in at LEAST six seasons... and we predict the trend holds up for a seventh. Expect every team to lose at least one game this session.
Can't Touch This, currently 0-2 as we write this, will make it to the D3 Championship game (we make no predictions whether they'll win or lose it).
TOX and Vaspian will be the only TSL teams not to make the playoffs this session.

But what do we know? We went 3 out of 6 on last year's predictions:

There are no undefeated teams in any divisions, but at least one team will go winless [We were spot on! Zero undefeated teams, while both Two Tuddies (who had a tie) and Bullet Club (who did not have a tie) went winless]
Spinelli's Plumbing wins a championship for the second season in a row [Nope. They went 4-5 and were knocked out in the first round by the eventual champions Practice Squad]
Passed Our Prime will be the highest scoring team in the TSL this season across all divisions[Nope. They finished as the 21st highest scoring team in the TSL so we were way off here... but they DID win a shocking D2 championship, so we were right to believe in Hogan, if not in the consistency of this team]
There will be exactly three different QBs to reach #1 in our Power Rankings this season [Nailed it with this one... of course it helps that we determine the rankings, so we could have rigged this one if we wanted. Joey Batts, Mike Thomas and Bobby McConnell each reigned on top of the Power Rankings for at least a week last session]
Zack Attack finishes with the #1 defense in the League [Zack Attack was one of only four teams who finished last season allowing under 20 points per game... but TMA finished with the best defense in the League, so we were wrong here]
Steph Infection beats Liddle Deaks in the Breakfast Club finals[YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. We correctly called the winner and the runner-up of Breakfast Club last session.]
TMA makes, and loses, the D5 Finals game this session [Why do we bet on TMA? The D5 finals was Red Zone Mafia over Cobblestone]

So there you go. Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Spring 2022 Season. Most of our stars are back, although we have a few notable player movements:

Bro Kleckler, the eight-time #1 ranked QB for Tight Ends in Motion, is back this session after taking the Spring off. Seth Molisani, who had replaced Bro, will still be QBing for Buffalo Vice Retro, the D2 offshoot of D4 Buffalo Vice.
Freeballers and Bullet Club flipped divisions this session, but it looks like Dylan Jaloza will only be throwing for D2 Freeballers now. Bullet Club will allegedly turn back to long-time ace / team founder Jeff Easton at QB.
When Dove Cries is not putting in a team this session, which means Topper's unbelievable streak (literally unbelievable; we track this stuff, and we don't believe it) of making our Top Ten every season since we began Power Ranking will come to an end. Unless of course Legends benches Joey mid-season and calls on Topper to take over.

We started the Fall 2022 session with only half our teams playing, so not a huge amount of movement in our Top Ten yet. Let's see where we are to start the season!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 44-16 (Legends), beat Puckett All-Stars 51-44 (Cunning Stunts)

Joey picked up where he left off a couple months ago, winning games and talking shit. Will all this "QB is Legends only weakness" talk go away now that he's won the big one, or is that a storyline we're going to hear about all season?

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for last season's #2, who was second in total TSL points per game, the second seed in D1, second place in the playoffs, and second in our Power Rankings.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Did Not Play

Eyes Downtown start the Fall season with a bye and will open next week against Tight Ends in Motion.

#4 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week: Beat the Replacements 53-14

Did we learn anything we didn't already know about Dubey or the DILFS from watching them destroy a brand new team that probably has no business being in D2? Probably not, but a tune-up game never hurts.

#5 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week: Did Not Play

Who is Hogan throwing to now that he's lost Kyle Conniff and Sean Battaglia (why not, it seems like he's officially been adopted by Joey at this point)? We'll find out next week.

#6 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 34-24

Grey Hair shut out Scared Hitless 14-0 last season and beat them in their first ever game in D1 to start this season. Seems like Eickhoff and company have Dylan's number... but we still have Dylan ranked just a little higher.

#7 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 34-24, lost to Legends 44-16

The good news is that Grey Hair - Don't Care picked up their first win in D1 on their first day in the division. The bad news is their loss against Legends wasn't particularly close, which shows how wide the gap might be between the top D1 teams and the new teams that just moved up.

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Did Not Play

Untouchaballs had the week off to start the Fall season. They annihilated D3 most of last season... will they even be a top three team in D2 this session?

#9 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week: Beat the Replacements 65-18

Garrett has a bunch of new toys to play with this session and the results were exactly what we expected in Week One, but like we wrote for DILFS above, we won't draw too many conclusions until we see Frodo play a team other than The Replacements.

#10 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting

Last Week: Beat Can't Touch This 42-35, beat Get Schwifty 40-14

Ahh it's time once again for our bi-annual tradition of Scotty starting hot, winning a bunch of games and putting up great numbers, then collapsing in the second half of the season. So far they're on schedule with a 2-0 record... what will they do differently this season to avoid the usual collapse?

So that's a look at where we stand after one week. As always, we will expand coverage throughout the season to cover more and more QBs, but it's difficult when seemingly half the League hasn't played a game yet AND we're not even sure who's throwing for every team yet. We'll get there.

For all you TSL history buffs out there that want to know QB Power Rankings data stretching back before the Top Ten chart shown above, here is the entire history of the Top Ten going back the past six seasons that we've been Power Ranking (season three being shortened by one week due to COVID issues):

UGLY chart (and it gets uglier every session we do this)... but thorough! This is our summary version of the above, showing cumulative points for the last six seasons for every QB who has EVER cracked the Top Ten. Here's how it works: you get 10 points for a first place week, 1 point for a tenth place week, and zero points for not making the Top Ten at all that week. Active QBs (as far as we know) are highlighted in gold so you can see who has the best chance to move up this season. Gives you a fairly accurate sense of who our top QBs have been over the past six seasons we think (obviously biased towards people that have been here the longest over that stretch):

And finally, here is our schedule for what we plan to rank this season OTHER than just our usual QB Rankings. If you have feedback ahead of these articles and you want to weigh in, you can always email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. If you email us AFTER the fact to complain about how much you hated them, we'll just tell you that you should have let us know sooner!

September 15: Best Female Players in the League
September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? you want to see those "Best in the League" graphs while your team is riding a hot 1-0 start to the season? you hate that we basically copy/paste the first article of every season from the previous season with very little original thought?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

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