Power Rankings Week 3

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 09 September 2021 13:05

Published: Thursday, 09 September 2021 13:05

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 1479

 

Hello and welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  

 

Isn't it crazy how some teams are already past the halfway mark of their season, while other teams are JUST getting started?  Zack Attack and Itches and Ohs have already played five games each... which is the same number of games that all D1 teams have played combined.  Yes, three weeks into the season and you can still count every D1 game on just one hand.  Ranking QBs is tough with small sample sizes, but we're up to the challenge.  

 

What else should we do this week?  It still feels too early for the "best offenses / best defenses" type charts we're used to producing since 28% of the League hasn't even played a third game yet.  So we guess that means more random rankings like last week's completely flawless, 100% accurate, universally agreed upon Female Receiver Power Rankings.  This week we'll give you the Top Ten Angry Buffalo Bar Legends - we're not calling this the "ten biggest alcoholics in the League"... but let's be honest that wouldn't be far off in this case.

 

First as always, your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings:

 

 

  

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 37-30

 

This guy just doesn't lose games.  Tight Ends in Motion are 1-0 this season when Bro plays and 0-1 when he doesn't (so much for that "anyone could win with receivers this great!" bullshit).  He's the #1 QB in the Power Rankings until someone beats him, and even THEN he might keep the spot.  This shouldn't surprise anyone.

 

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Bye week for the undefeated Bobby McConnell.  Eventually every D1 team is going to start ripping off weekly doubleheaders to catch up with all these byes, and then the top of the Power Rankings will get VERY interesting.

 

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Bye week for the undefeated Chris Cole.  Public Enemy leads the TSL in points per game after three weeks, still riding the coattails of their dominant 53-point week one performance.

 

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Victorious Secret - (Previous Rank #4)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Bye weeks for both Losing Streak and Victorious Secret, the latter of which is currently the fifth highest scoring team in the TSL in our "way too early in the season to be quoting these types of numbers" stats.

 

#5 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A / The Angels - (Previous Rank #6)

Last Week:  Beat Passed Our Prime 39-38 (A&A), beat Last Dance 43-28 (The Angels)

 

Matty moves up a spot as A&A run their record to an impressive 4-0 and the Angels record their first win of the session.  The Angels win over Last Dance was decisive, but it's interesting that NONE of A&A's victories this year have been nearly that convincing: they've beaten Passed Our Prime by 1, Notorious BNB by 1, XTC by 3, and When Dove Cries by 9 (still a one score game).  That's not a criticism by the way - it means Matty is doing SOMETHING right for A&A to be 4-0 right now instead of 0-4.

 

#6 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 37-30

 

The Sticky Bandits were one of two teams to play their first game of the season in Week Three, and it was almost an upset of the reigning D1 champs.  Sure, they fell short on the last drive again, but their last two games have been neck and neck battles with their frenemies on Tight Ends in Motion.  What would Mike Thomas's QB Ranking be if he'd scored on that last drive and won the game?  We're kind of glad we don't need to figure that out right now actually, because that'd be a tough decision.

 

#7 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #9)

Last Week:  Beat the Notorious BNB 33-22, beat XTC 39-36

 

Dylan Jaloza surges to his highest Power Ranking ever on the back of his double win over Notorious BNB and XTC.  We felt like TopShot was too good for D3 last session (although they didn't win it) but the fact that they're still undefeated in D2 without Chris Nelson is admittedly a little surprising to us.  The Jewish Prince makes plays when it counts (that's his jersey name, not our nickname...) and TopShot is already thinking about D1 next session.  But first... undefeated A&A is waiting for them next week in what could be the game of the week.

 

#8 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Lost to TopShot 33-22

 

Alex Buchlis drops one spot in the Power Rankings with his loss to undefeated TopShot this week.  The schedule makers didn't do Notorious BNB any favors this season with their first three opponents being a combined 9-2, but the players on this team have won a combined 600 championships before (give or take) so we suspect they'll be fine with making whatever adjustments are needed.

 

#9 Jeremy "Hogan" Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to A&A 39-38, beat Bullet Club 41-26

 

Passed Our Prime already has one more win than all of last season, and frankly they could be 4-0 with a little more luck in two VERY close losses.  Hogan leads D2 and is second in the entire TSL in Points Per Game (43.0 PPG) and that's not driven by one good flukey week either, as Passed Our Prime has scored 38, 39, 41 and 54 in their four games to date.  Their defense is still terrible at 10th worst in the League, but that's actually an improvement from last session when they were dead last by a mile.

 

#10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless - (Previous Rank #15)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 36-20, beat When Doves Cries 32-28

 

We thought it might be a fluke when Scared Hitless had the best point differential in D2 after one week, but beating XTC and When Dove Cries in the same week gives them a huge boost of credibility.  Sure, the combined age of their opposing QBs was well over 90 (not an exaggeration) but those are some good, smart defenses, and Dylan dropped more than 30 points against each of them.  It's a good thing the League didn't let these guys register for D3, because Scared Hitless is currently undefeated in D2 and showing not only that they belong, but that they're real contenders for a championship this season.

 

#11 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Lost to TopShot 39-36, lost to Scared Hitless 36-20

 

XTC are 0-4 and they've lost those games by 1, 3, 3 and 16 points.  Other than their Scared Hitless matchup they've been in every game, but they keep ending up on the losing side.  If A&A is finding ways to win close games, XTC is finding ways to lose them.  XTC is third in their division in offense and dead last in defense so don't blame Dubey - it's tough to win when you're giving up 42.5 PPG.  

 

#12 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins - (Previous Rank #12)

Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 42-40

 

A tie and a two-point win doesn't sound like a dominant start to the season for Frodo Swaggins, but they're STILL undefeated after a 42-40 victory over Untouchaballs this week, and Garrett looks fantastic.  We're not ready to label them as favorites for the D3 title yet (for all the good that did TopShot last season) but there will likely never be a game this season where we bet against Frodo.

 

#13 Patrick "Topper" McGovern - When Dove Cries - (Previous Rank #11)

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 36-28, lost to Scared Hitless 32-28

 

Was that Tim Dove playing for When Dove Cries this week?  Team Topper goes 1-1 this week with a win over a struggling Bullet Club and a loss against (apparent) juggernaut Scared Hitless.  WDC was a D2 finalist last session, but we wonder what the Godfather would give their odds of making it back to the Finals this session.  The fact that Topper's only throwing for one team this season has to help his aging arm.

 

#14 Seth Molisani - Slob Kabombs / Buffalo Vice - (Previous Rank #20)

Last Week:  Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 45-19, tied Itches and Ohs 46-46

 

Seth's teams' combined D1/D4 record thus far this season is an uninspiring 2-2-1 but if you stop to watch his games you will always be blown by an amazing throw or two (not to mention his relentless scrambling that forces teams to rush a guy against him).  The scheduling gods (aka Topper) were unkind to Seth by starting Slob Kabombs against Public Enemy and Tight Ends in Motion where they have predictably gone 0-2.  Buffalo Vice on the other hand is still undefeated so at least THAT is going well.  D1 record aside, Seth is a game changing QB who makes defenses adjust to his ridiculous skillset.  If he pulls off a high profile upset or two, he'll be in the Top Ten in no time.

 

#15 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care - (Previous Rank #19)

Last Week:  Beat Super Freaks 47-27

 

Grey Hair - Don't Care are currently only fifth in offensive PPG in D3, BUT they're sitting on top of the division standings with a 3-0 record so they have to be happy about that.  Eickhoff hasn't cracked our Top Ten in the past 26 weeks of Power Rankings stretching back to Spring of 2019, but we've got a good feeling about him this session.  Of course, his three opponents so far have been a combined 2-7, so we'll have to see how he does against slightly better competition before we start planning his D3 victory parade.

 

**

 

But enough about quarterbacking - let's do another obnoxious ranking that's going to make even MORE people feel slighted.

 

Below are the Top Ten Angry Buffalo Bar Legends.  What does this mean?  It's not a list of the "biggest drunks" in the TSL (although plenty of those are on the list too), but these are mainstays at the bar that make the off-field experience in our League as great as it is.  Kind of like a "Best at Bar" but for individuals, instead of teams.  

 

This is insanely subjective, so we're all over the place with these votes.  Some of these are newer to the League but have already made a big impact.  Most of these are active players, but there were a couple currently inactive legends we just had to throw on the list as well.

 

Apologies to Dorene Major, Trish Esposito, Matt Newman, B's Brother and of course Eric Kleckler (Destroyer of Plants) who received votes but aren't shown below.

 

 

HOW DARE WE LEAVE OUT THIS GUY OR THAT GIRL?!?!  Yeah, we know.  But that's our list!  Don't like it?  Complain at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  Or wait until next week when we do our Male Receiver Rankings... that'll REALLY give you something to complain about.

 

****

 

And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  kicking a plant isn't a solid criteria for selection as a potential Bar Legend?  no one should be ahead of Topper on his OWN LEAGUE'S bar legend rankings?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

 

What’s YOUR ranking?

Week One Power Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 26 August 2021 16:06

Published: Thursday, 26 August 2021 16:06

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2122

 

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League, and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather and the Sentinel if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

 

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

 

“There are fifty teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 50 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 40, which was two thirds of the League, so we do try to be inclusive.

 

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

 

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

 

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

 

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to introduce yourself, and please, be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Chris Cole just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.  It took us a minute to figure out Losing Streak, Passed Our Prime and Puckett All-Stars last season... but we got there eventually.

 

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.

 

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

 

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

§  Chris Cole goes undefeated in the regular season and reclaims the top spot in the Power Rankings

§  Passed Our Prime will be the highest scoring team in the TSL this season across all divisions

§  Breast Friends will be the highest scoring gender team in the TSL, and win exactly zero games by forfeit this season

§  TSL Legend Darryl Carr finishes the season with a higher rank than TSL Legend Topper

§  A QB we've never heard of will finish the season in the Top 15

§  Dave Eickhoff, ranked 26th at the end of last season, will make his return to the Top Ten at some point this season

 

But what do we know?  We went 3-for-6 on last year's predictions:

§  AWDIQ legend Vince Taverna drops out of the Top Ten as he has to contend with 16 D1 and D2 QBs playing in divisions above him.  [We were right about this one as Vince plummeted to 24th in our Rankings by end of the season... but the joke was on us as he went on to lead Quinn to their long awaited D3 championship in the playoffs]

§  Matty Ice and Dean Thompson will duke it out for the honor of highest ranked D2 QB, with... Matty getting the slight edge by end of the season? we think?  [Well, we were half right.  Matty got hurt and Travis played most of the regular season for A&A, so the D2 Power Rankings battle came down to Dean and Jordan Lawson.  We'll call this one a miss]

§  Dylan Jaloza will crack the Top Twenty by end of the season.  With all those weapons, how can he not?  [We were entirely right.  In fact, he made the Top Ten by end of the season]

§  A mid-season replacement will come out of nowhere to crack the Top Ten (think Bro Kleckler or Terrell Bolden last year).  [We were right again, as Travis Cleveanger moved from A&A backup to Top Ten QB]

§  Scotty Drosendahl, now playing in D2, will make the Top Ten early and often.  [Swing and a miss here.  We love Scotty and he got a huge upset win in the first round of playoffs last year, but the Top Ten eluded him for most of the season]

§  Topper will continue to be the hardest player to rank, flashing brilliance one week, just to look like a washed up shell of an athlete the next. [We thought this would be our easiest prediction, and yet somehow Topper was consistently good for most of the season against all odds]

 

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Fall 2021 Season.  They're going to look a little different this season with no Dean Thompson (we miss you already Peachy Platoon), no Matt Newman (hope to see you again some day Slytherin That End Zone) and Joey Batts no longer QBing a co-ed team (thank God we still get to review his work on Cunning Stunts though):

 

 

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

The reigning D1 Champ gets the week off to start the Fall 2021 season.  Remember when the knock on Bro last Spring was "yeah, he's doing great, but he'll never beat Public Enemy when it matters in the playoffs!"  Well, he did, and he's a very legitimate #1 right now regardless of how much talent you think his team has around him.

 

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Beat Losing Streak 40-34

Bobby's back with plenty of new talent, and Eyes Downtown start the season off right with a W against the former D2 champs.  Bobby has never been ranked lower than fourth in our Power Rankings, and he's going to be in Championship contention right up to the last game(s) of the season, so get used to reading about him.

 

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Beat Slob Kabombs 53-30

Should the TSL GOAT be ranked higher than #3?  Maybe; he did beat Bobby by a point in last season's Semi-finals matchup, and Public Enemy dropped 53 on poor Slob Kabombs to start this season.  But it's a long season, and Cole has plenty of time to make his push back to #1 before he wraps up his "Public Enemy Last Dance" documentary.  For more on his historical dominance, see our All-Time Standings chart below... his name comes up once or twice.

 

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak - (Previous Rank #4)

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 40-34

Losing Streak had previously held the longest WINNING streak in the League, but hey... D1 games are hard to win.  Jordan had a great debut (reportedly without all his weapons present) and nearly upset Eyes Downtown in his first game at WNY touch football's highest level.  Unlike last session though where Jordan didn't really have a path to passing the Big Three in our Power Rankings, he's going to get plenty of chances this season.  We'll see how it goes, but we think he'll be fine in D1.

 

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Mike moves up two spots in the Power Rankings this week despite a bye week, thanks to Dean Thompson taking the season off and Joey Batts no longer QBing a team above D4 (more on that later).  The Sticky Bandits were a bit of an afterthought in D1 last season for most people, but they almost shocked the world and came within just one point of making the D1 Finals.  We assume they'll take a step back this season after losing their best receiver, but we've been burned betting against Sticky Nation before.

 

#6 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A - (Previous Rank N/R)

Last Week:  Beat The Notorious BNB 37-36, lost to Untouchaballs 45-32

Matty dropped off our Power Rankings last season as an injury forced him to miss significant time, but he's back this season and he's PROBABLY unhappy that we've started him at the #6 spot after his dramatic win against Notorious BNB (he's #1 among QBs outside of D1, for what it's worth).  A&A should be a force to be reckoned with this season, but we wonder if the Angels miss the days of D4 when they just steamrolled teams every week.  Either way, it's good for the League that they're competing up in D3 now where they belong.

 

#7 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to A&A 37-36

The Notorious BNB look like a rebranded (and improved) Sloppy Seconds from last session, which makes them immediate contenders in D2.  Alex was his usual crafty self and nearly pulled off the "upset" of A&A (would that have been considered an upset?) in the closing seconds of their first game.  He didn't, so now he has to look up at Matty Ice in the Power Rankings this week.  Alex has won D2 before so we know HE'S capable.  Let's see if the rest of the Notorious BNB has it in them.

 

#8 Jeremy Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #15)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 54-53

Jeremy Olsen isn't making his first appearance in the Top Ten just because he's the highest scoring QB in the League through one week (although he is).  This actually feels long overdue as the Passed Our Prime offense was fantastic last season, but the team was ultimately undone by weak attendance and atrocious defense.  The defense STILL doesn't look great through one game (tied for second worst in the League, ahead of only the team they just beat!) but they've matched their win total from last season already.  Olsen is legit.

 

#9 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #13)

Last Week:  Lost to Passed Our Prime 54-53

When was the last time a team scored 53 points and lost? (Okay, it was only June 5th when A&A beat Passed Our Prime 57-56, but before THAT it was a long time ago!)  Dubey's got that XTC offense looking sharp right out of the gate.  Sure, 0-1 isn't how they'd hoped to start the season, but they've got athletes AND Battaglias (see what we did there?) and one of the League's most legendary QBs - that's a pretty good recipe to bounce back and have a great season.

 

#10 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 32-16

Dylan won games in D6.  He won them in D3.  He's won his first game in D2, and WITHOUT Chris Nelson.  Do we think TopShot will dominate this session like they did last Spring in D3?  No... we do not.  But we think they're viable contenders to win every game, and as always, that starts with the QB.  Dylan hit that "D3 glass ceiling" in our Power Rankings last session, but in D2 he's got way more room to shine with upcoming battles against the four QBs ranked directly above him.  Let's see what he can do.

 

So there's your Top Ten, but there are plenty of other QBs to keep your eye on this session (shown below in alphabetical order, not Power Rankings order):

 

Garrett Beesing had a breakout season at QB this past Spring and he's still undefeated this year with a VERY unsatisfying tie in Frodo's first game.  If we had to guess, we'd say Frodo Swaggins will be playing in the D3 finals in a couple months, as long as Garrett stays focused and (by his standards) not completely hung over.

 

Jeremy Burr can throw a football apparently!  The Untouchaballs looked great taking down The Angels in their first game of the year.  We hate to draw conclusions about new QBs after only one game (especially against a gender team, which although absurdly talented in this case, does tend to be easier to throw against) but Burr MIGHT be ready for his Power Rankings debut sooner rather than later... 

 

Dylan Day and Scared Hitless looked a LITTLE overwhelmed at times in their first season in D2 last session, but they also looked like world beaters against Bullet Club last week.  Yes, Melanie Linsmair helps, but their whole passing game looked fantastic, and Dylan is probably wondering why the #1 team in the D2 standings today has at least five D2 QBs ahead of him in the Power Rankings.  Life isn't fair, and neither are we.

 

Frank Laudico will not be the starting QB for new TSL team GUCCI we're told, but he did fill in for Kelly Kane while she was out this week (and yes, it's about time we had a full-time female QB in this League).  Normally a backup QB wouldn't be cause for mention in our article, but Frank has long been the QB of the GameOn D1 Champions "The Wanderers", so it felt noteworthy to have him throwing at the TSL fields this week.  Welcome to the TSL GUCCI!

 

Patrick "Topper" McGovern hasn't played a game yet this season, but he was shockingly competent last year (that's the most accurate way to phrase it, we're sorry).  Does he have another strong season in him, or is this going to be a "regression to the mean" type of year for him?  It's exhausting trying to keep up with the incredible highs and devastating lows of Topper's quarterbacking.

 

Seth Molisani has taken over for Andy Clark this session on Buffalo Vice in D4, AND he's throwing for the new D1 team Slob Kabombs who scored 30 points against Public Enemy in their debut this week.  It's not a question of if, but when will Seth crack the Top Ten this season?

 

So that's a look at where we stand after one week.  As always, we will expand coverage throughout the season to cover more and more QBs, but it's difficult when seemingly half the League hasn't played a game yet AND we're not even sure who's throwing for every team yet.  We'll get there.

 

**

 

For all you TSL history buffs out there that want to know QB Power Rankings data stretching back before the Top Ten chart shown above, here is the entire history of the Top Ten going back the past four seasons that we've been Power Ranking (season three being shortened by one week due to COVID issues):

 

 

UGLY chart... but thorough!

 

Chris Cole is the only QB to be ranked in the Top Ten every week since the Power Rankings began.  Yes, Joey Batts is also shown every week above, but his streak officially ended the first week of THIS session since he's no longer QBing a co-ed team above D4.  Bobby McConnell missed the beginning of the Spring 2019 season with an injury and wasn't ranked for four weeks, though he's been in the Top Four ever since.  Amazing how consistent some of the top guys have been.  They're league legends for a reason, folks.

 

And here's one more chart just for fun.  The table below shows cumulative points for the last four seasons for every QB who has EVER cracked the Top Ten.  Here's how it works: you get 10 points for a first place week, 1 point for a tenth place week, and zero points for not making the Top Ten at all that week.  Gives you a fairly accurate sense of who our top QBs have been over the past four seasons we think (obviously biased towards people that have been here the longest over that stretch):

 

 

And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you want to see those "Best Offense/Best Defense" graphics after one week while your team is still riding high after a freakishly good start?  you're looking at the All-Time Top Ten chart above and just now realizing it's bullshit that Darryl Carr has never cracked the list?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..    Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

 

What’s YOUR ranking?

Week 2 Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 01 September 2021 19:35

Published: Wednesday, 01 September 2021 19:35

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 1528

 

 

Hello and welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  It has been admittedly a slow start to the season as many top teams and their QBs have asked for bye weeks to start the Fall session.  Probably a combination of weddings, anticipation of the brutal heat, or in the case of Ben Stack just cancelling your team's game a couple hours before kickoff.  Either way, it's been difficult to assess QB play with such small sample sizes from the TSL's best passers; plus we barely even know who is throwing for certain teams yet, as many have only had one game.  

 

So this week we thought we'd do something a little different.

 

In addition to the QB Power Rankings (and we'll still start with those... it is the name of our article after all) we're also going to present the long awaited, always-teased-but-never-delivered Female Receiver Rankings.  Yes, feelings will be hurt, angry emails will be sent, and everyone will agree we did a terrible job, but that's the name of the game when you're in charge of rankings.  Get ready to get angry that we didn't pick the girls on your team!

 

With that said, let's start with the QB Rankings.

 

 

VERY little movement this week, and ironically the only two QBs in the Top Ten that rose or fell didn't even play this week!  Sounds suspect already.  Let's whip through this.

 

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Congrats on your wedding Bro!  There might not be a nicer, more likeable guy in the TSL than Bro Kleckler, so make sure to congratulate him and his wife Kelly at the fields next time you see them.  The defending champs lost in his absence, but marriage is a pretty solid excuse.  Makes us wonder though, who's in charge of TEIM's schedule requests to NOT ask for a bye week on their QB's wedding day?  How did organizational skills like this win D1 last session?

 

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Bye week for the undefeated Bobby McConnell, and it looks like he'll have a bye again next week.  

 

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Unexpected bye week (or is it a forfeit? it hasn't been marked as one on the website yet) for Public Enemy as Slob Kabombs cancelled the game early Saturday morning with attendance issues.  Cole still averaging 53 PPG after two weeks.

 

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Victorious Secret - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Beat Tight Ends in Motion 32-26

 

Big week for Jordan as Losing Streak takes down the defending champs for their first D1 win.  No, it doesn't affect his Ranking because TEIM was missing Bro, Eric, Nick etc but still an impressive feat to beat ANY combination of Tight Ends.  Also: shame on us for not mentioning Victorious Secret last week when they beat Graves Bros 41-12 (they didn't play this week).  Dominant win for a gender team that struggled most of last session.  The path for Jordan moving up in the Power Rankings goes through the three men above him, and until he has a head-to-head win against the Big Three, he's kind of stuck at #4.

 

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Another bye week for Sticky Nation, as they are one of only two teams not to play a game yet this session.

 

#6 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A / The Angels - (Previous Rank #6)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 41-38, beat When Dove Cries 39-30 (A&A), lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 20-17 (The Angels)

 

A&A have a 3-0 record and Matty has the team averaging 39 PPG.  That sounds like a lot (and it is) but strangely it's only tied for fourth in the division offensively.  D2 has so much firepower this year, it's a credit to Matty and Co that they've started off this season so strong with three one-score wins.  The Angels are still waiting to taste their first win of the year unfortunately, but they're too absurdly talented to wait much longer for that.  Matty remains the highest ranked D2/D3 QB... for now.

 

#7 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Beat Passed Our Prime 42-39

 

The Notorious BNB have been THE most exciting team to watch in the TSL so far this season, having played two games that were each settled on the very last play.  Alex is tied with Matty at 39 PPG, but his 1-1 record compared to A&A's 3-0 (plus the 1-point head to head loss from two weeks ago) has him a half step behind in the Power Rankings.  

 

#8 Jeremy "Hogan" Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to The Notorious BNB 42-39

 

Apparently we should be calling him Hogan instead of Olsen, since that's what everyone else calls him.  Passed Our Prime dropped a close one to Notorious BNB on a semi-controversial "was it or wasn't it a TD" that would have won them the game on the last play.  Hogan's still #8 in our Power Rankings and yes, of COURSE he's still the highest scoring QB in D2 at 46.5 PPG.

 

#9 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

No game for TopShot this week.  Dylan rises one spot in the Power Rankings for doing nothing.

 

#10 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #9)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

XTC played this week, but Dubey apparently bailed right before game time leaving Joey Batts to QB instead (XTC fell to A&A 41-38).  Dubey goes to #10 for his late absence.

 

**

 

But enough about quarterbacking - it's time for the first ever Female Receiver Power Rankings!

 

A few ground rules first:

 

• This isn't an "overall female player" ranking, this is a receiver only ranking.  Play great defense but you have shaky hands?  You didn't make this list.  You're a great gender QB when the team needs that emergency red zone 8 points?  You didn't make this list.  We are evaluating receiver skills only.  Nothing else.
• The Committee voted on this list based on what we know about each receiver and her abilities today.  It is NOT intended to be a lifetime achievement award (you were great ten years ago?  cool story, but you didn't make the list) and it is NOT intended to be purely a "who's done the best so far two weeks into this season" ranking either (you have five TDs through two weeks but you were ineffective for three years before that?  you didn't make the list).  In a sense it's just like the QB Rankings we do every week, in that we're trying to capture who we feel is really "the best" if you needed a girl tomorrow to help you win a big game.
• A player's worth as a receiver is not based SOLELY on one factor.  This isn't just speed.  This isn't just hands.  This isn't just route running or physicality or high football IQ.  It's all of those things and how each player puts them together.
• If a player is not active right now, she did not make the list.  Let's call this the "Katie Salisbury rule" (Katie would likely be our #1 right now if she were considered eligible).
• Also: this is INTENDED to be a fun exercise to shine the spotlight on some of the best female players in the TSL.  It is not INTENDED to imply that you or your teammates suck because they didn't make a list of the Top Ten Female receivers in the League.  There are 50 teams in the TSL. with at least three to four girls per team (ignore gender teams for a second, it's high level math).  That's about 150 girls in total.  If we snubbed you on our VERY subjective Top Ten, it's no "insult" intended.

 

We had four members of the QB Committee each submit their rankings (are there exactly four of us on the Committee, or are we saying only four of us voted?  we'll continue to be vague about the makeup of this group) and what was interesting was that exactly five girls made all four of our lists.  Guess what: they're going to be the Top Five girls on this list.  The other six were named on multiple lists but not ALL of them, so we feel like we've got a pretty good consensus here.  Yes, doing a "Top Eleven" instead of a Top Ten sounds weird, but there was a tie in our math and we didn't want to split hairs on who the last entry would be.

 

Let's start with a few honorable mentions that received multiple votes but ultimately missed our Top Ten.  Apologies of course if we butcher the spelling of your name.  In alphabetical (not Ranked!) order:

• Emily Belfield
• Heather Cepuchowski
• Brittany Clarke
• Misty Himes
• Caitlyn Mason
• Kellie Mazur
• Allie Metzger
• Rylee Moser
• Taylor Pagano
• Cat Peters
• Jen Stachura
• Laura Streeter
• Jackee Thompson

Now... on to the Female Receiver Power Rankings!  For added drama, we'll count down from 10th to 1st on this one.

 

10th-T: Lindsay Stoddard - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Voters on our Committee all said the same thing - if she played more often, she might be a top five receiver on this list.  Maybe the most difficult female receiver in the League to defend in man coverage, Lindsay WILL get open, and she WILL make an incredible catch when she needs to.  Good luck covering her with another girl.

 

10th-T: Christine Krol - Sticky Bandits

The best female receiver on the Sticky Bandits, Christine might rank even higher if we factored in defensive ability.  She's got the speed to run sideline to sideline and the deep threat ability that so many QBs WISHED they had in a female receiver.  We feel confident saying that Sticky Nation wouldn't have made the climb to D1 without Christine.

 

9th: Jaimie Warren - Scared Hitless, Lenny's Ladies

Jaimie is part of one of the most stacked female rosters in the League with Scared Hitless, and a dominant playmaker for Lenny's Ladies as well.  A top tier athlete (and former TSL MVP) Jaimie runs incredible routes, can outmuscle guys on contested catches, and has an underrated vertical leap.  If you've played against her, you already know who she is.

 

8th: Amy Taylor - Losing Streak, The Notorious BNB

Teams will try to cover Amy with a male defender and still repeatedly fail at the task.  How do you stop perfect hands, smart route running and physical playmaking?  Not with a short defender apparently, because Amy will just catch it right over their head.  There are girls who might be faster than Amy, but not many can compete with how effective she is.

 

7th: Emily Curry - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Fast AND quick, Emily Curry (Jaskier?) has a ridiculous catch window as she can pull in grounders or passes thrown too high.  Her routes are always very crisp and she has a knack for getting open on nearly every play.  Emily also has a great ability to recognize that a play is breaking down and adjust to help out her quarterback, which makes her one of the most valuable female receivers in the game.

 

6th: Margo Jablonski - The Angels

Margo has just about every trait you could want in a receiver: she's fast, she can make people miss, she runs great routes, she can improvise, she's tough and physical, she can catch just about anything... yeah, that's a pretty complete list.  Just an incredible talent that you wouldn't want to see across the field from you in a championship game.

 

5th: Brandy Clarke - When Doves Cries, Cunning Stunts

Brandy is a veteran of the League but somehow inexplicably still seems to improve every session.  Her route running is fantastic, she always seems to be open, and she ALWAYS seems to make the play when it's thrown her way. The first of five unanimous selections that every one of our voters chose for these Rankings.

 

4th: Cheryl Julicher - Public Enemy

Cheryl may go down as the GOAT whenever she retires (does she ride off into the sunset with Public Enemy?), and she has been the standard for years on what a top female can be in this League.  Her speed isn't elite, but she has great hands, she's tough as nails, gets open, and always makes the play that needs to be made.  There's a reason she's won so many D1 titles.

 

3rd: Melanie Linsmair - Scared Hitless, Untouchaballs

We would venture a guess that up to this point, you've probably heard of everyone on this list, but Melanie Linsmair is newer to the League and you may not be aware of her yet.  You'll learn the name soon, we promise.  "Sticky hands blonde chick" is just about unstoppable on offense and she is constantly finding ways to get open.  If she's ever dropped a pass, we haven't seen it. 

 

2nd: Katie Keller - XTC, 4th and Dong

You already know who she is.  Katie gets open, she makes people miss.  She can catch a ball while defenders are absolutely hacking at her arms.  She gives you 50 minutes of competitive effort every game, and there never seems to be any "look at me" or bragging to her game... she just moves from one great play to the next like it's all business.  

 

1st: Robin Makula - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Robin is, at this moment, the best female receiver in the TSL.  There's no one more more clutch, more focused and intense when the game is on the line, and more athletically gifted than Robin.  She's also an incredibly smart player who seems to learn from mistakes and constantly adapt to improve.  There isn't a team in the TSL that wouldn't immediately improve by adding Robin Makula.  Oh, and it looks like Tight Ends in Motion officially has three girls in the Top Ten... NOT including a recovering Katie Salisbury.  Solid team.  We think they'll win some games.

 

 

So you've finished reading our Female Receiver Rankings and our guess is that right now you have one of two complaints about it: we either didn't mention you or your teammate at ALL ("what an outrage! this is bullshit!")... or we did mention you or your teammate, but didn't rank them as highly as they "deserve".  Here's what you can do about it: write us an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and whine about what a terrible job we did.  But keep in mind - we're happy to hear arguments for how great a player is... but not at the expense of one of the women who are listed above.  So don't come at us with "Jenny Smith is way better than Brandy Clarke!" because we will write you back on essay on why NO, she is not.

 

 

***

 

And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you want female defensive player rankings too?  you think we did Dubey dirty by docking him a spot in the Rankings for not showing up last week?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

 

What’s YOUR ranking?

The Final Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 17 June 2021 17:17

Published: Thursday, 17 June 2021 17:17

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2183

 

 

"The harder you WORK, the harder it is to SURRENDER"- Marv Levy, Buffalo Bills

 

Hello and welcome back to your final TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the 2021 Spring Season!  We don't do playoff updates, so this is all you get for the rest of the season (you'll have to make do with the much better articles written by the Godfather and the Sentinel next week).

 

This is what we have for you in our final edition of this session:

• The Official Spring 2021 TSL QB Power Rankings - For the first (and hopefully only) time in history we've expanded to the Top 40 QBs in the League.  More QB coverage than ever!
• Division Review - In depth coverage of each divisions leaders on offense, defense and net point differentials, plus playoff "predictions" (kind of) and a final look at favorites, contenders, and pretenders.
• Final Observations on the season

So let's get right to it.  Here are the Final TSL QB Power Rankings for the season:

 

 

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Beat Sloppy Seconds 41-20

 

Tight Ends in Motion are the #1 seed and the #1 offense and the #1 defense and the #1 point differential in the #1 division.  Bro isn't a "contender" for the D1 championship anymore, he is the favorite to win the whole damn thing.  This team is locked and loaded for a playoff run after their first round bye this week.

 

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Eyes Downtown snuck into a first round bye on their day off courtesy of a Public Enemy upset loss.  Bobby has a better record than Cole and a higher points per game, so he enters the playoffs as the #2 QB in our final Power Rankings of the year.

 

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Lost to Why So Serious 48-43

 

Scoring 43 points isn't bad.  Losing to a 0-8 squad with a first round bye on the line IS bad (even if a full Why So Serious team is hugely underrated).  Public Enemy doesn't have the aura of invincibility they've had in previous seasons.  Is this the end of the line for the Champs or just a blip in the road we'll talk about after they repeat in a couple weeks?

 

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Victorious Secret - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 62-14 (Losing Streak), beat Travis Henry's Kids 44-36, lost to the BiPolar Express 61-35

 

We agonized over the #4 vs #5 rankings this week, as Jordan and Dean are 1a and 1b in their division right now.  Losing Streak finished the 2021 Spring Season on a six game winning streak and locked up the #1 highest scoring offense in the entire TSL at 42.2 PPG (over 11 PPG higher than Peachy).  We don't know which red hot QB is "better" going into playoffs, but the tie went to the guy with the stats (AND the head-to-head win against Peachy Platoon way back in Week One).

 

#5 Dean Thompson - Peachy Platoon - (Previous Rank #4)

Last Week:  Beat Slytherin that end zone 34-32

 

Imagine winning seven games in a row to end your season (the longest current streak in the League!), overcoming roster absences and playing short handed and using subs along the way, just to get demoted in the last Power Rankings of the year.  Is it fair?  Of course not - we KNOW that, but here we are.  Dean and Jordan seemed destined to clash in the playoffs, if neither team gets upset in the early rounds.  We have no idea who we'd bet on to win that game.

 

#6 Joey Batts - Mountain Dew Me / Cunning Stunts - (Previous Rank #6)

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 45-36 (Mountain Dew Me), beat TOX 29-22 (Cunning Stunts)

 

Joey QBed for the 5th and 12th highest scoring teams in the TSL this season, going a combined 14-3 (excluding a forfeit).  If you've forgotten about how good he is (since he no longer has his own podcast to talk about it every week), he'll be happy to remind you in the playoffs.  

 

#7 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Did not play this week, but the Sticky Bandits finished fourth in D1 in record, offense, defense and point differential this season courtesy of a Sloppy Seconds loss to Tight Ends in Motion this week.

 

#8 Alex Buchlis - Sloppy Seconds - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Did not play this week, marking two weeks in a row without Buchlis at the fields.  We imagine he's played enough games in his career that rust won't be a factor for playoffs, but you never know.

 

#9 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins - (Previous Rank #11)

Last Week:  Beat TopShot 48-33

 

Maybe we shouldn't crown TopShot just yet.  Garrett led Frodo Swaggins to a win against his previously undefeated opponent this week and sent a message that D3 is still up for grabs.  Frodo Swaggins is STILL undefeated this year when Garrett QBs; Dylan cannot say the same (see the division review at the bottom of this article for more detail).  We cannot imagine any D3 finals other than these two teams.

 

#10 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #11)

Last Week:  Lost to Frodo Swaggins 48-33

 

Dylan finished with the best record and the highest scoring offense in D3, and he's not even the highest ranked QB in his own division?  Seems questionable at best, corrupt at worst (is Garrett funneling his charitable donations to the Power Rankings Committee?).  That's what happens when you drop the biggest game of the season to your biggest rival though.  TopShot will still be the favorites for D3 over the coming weeks, but they got a gut check this week that nothing is a given.

 

#11 Travis Cleavenger - Breast Friends / A&A - (Previous Rank #9)

Last Week:  Played half a game for A&A, no game for Breast Friends

 

Impossible to legitimately rank Travis at this point.  He's been benched on A&A for the returning Matty Ice* so at this point he's quarterbacking for a D5 gender team that has only played six games this session and an undefeated Breakfast Club team (which doesn't REALLY count for our Power Rankings).  What do we do with that?  A Power Ranking of 11th felt right to us, but an argument could be made for much higher or much lower, depending on how you feel about his backup work with A&A this season.

 

*Note that we're leaving Matty out of the Power Rankings entirely this week for similar reasons.  How DO we evaluate someone who missed half the season, and played other games through obvious injury?  The answer is, we don't.  Matty will resume his place at the top of the Power Rankings next session we're sure... unless he decides to build another house or something instead.

 

#12 Patrick "Topper" McGovern - When Dove Cries / TOX - (Previous Rank #13)

Last Week:  Lost to A&A 43-22, beat Passed Our Prime 41-28

 

Several weeks ago we were convinced Topper would come crashing back to earth after a hot start with When Dove Cries... but it never really happened.  They've continued to play well (even this week without several crucial players) and Topper has looked like a "young" man again.  He finishes the season a long shot to win any championships, but still #12 in our Power Rankings.

 

#13 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #12)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Dubey misses a game, XTC gets destroyed.  This team is capable of being very good or very bad in any given week, mostly due to attendance it seems.  Dubey had Dilfs as the favorite to win D2 last season and then missed the playoffs.  Will he show up this year?

 

#14 Scott Drosendahl - Bullet Club - (Previous Rank #14)

Last Week:  Lost to Mountain Dew Me 45-36

 

Bullet Club has lost their seventh in a row after starting the season 2-0.  Scotty doesn't drop in the Power Rankings (fortunately for him no one below him really justified a rise either) but confidence must be low for the Club right now heading into playoffs with zero momentum (unless you count downward momentum).

 

#15 Jeremy Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #18)

Last Week:  Lost to When Dove Cries 41-28

 

The Passed Our Prime season is over with a 1-8 record (and 0 for 9 on Bloomfield sightings).  We didn't see that coming after their dominant indoor season... maybe Robin Makula was a bigger part of that team than we thought?  The talent was there (when they showed up) and Olsen finished 9th in the TSL in overall points per game, but they couldn't overcome the worst defense in recent memory.  

 

#16 Matt Newman - Slytherin that end zone - (Previous Rank #15)

Last Week:  Lost to Peachy Platoon 34-32

 

The Slytherin regular season sputters to an end as QB inconsistency and inability to win close games doomed them to a 3-6 record.  It's not impossible they get their act together for a playoff run... but they haven't really given us a reason to suspect that's coming either.  Will we see Newman in the Top Ten again next session, or is this a sign of things to come?

 

#17 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice - (Previous Rank #19)

Last Week:  Beat Woodpeckers 51-38, beat Freeballers 51-34

 

A 102 point final week is enough to propel Andy up to the #17 Ranking and a four way tie for first place with a 7-2 record.  The Buffalo Vice defense wasn't great this season, but Andy more than made up for it with offensive firepower.  It'll be interesting to see if Vice ends up as the Godfather's favorite to win the division (they're OUR pick, if we get one).

 

#18 Joe Miano - Jabronies - (Previous Rank #17)

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 28-21

 

Joe wrapped up a 7-2 campaign with a thrilling comeback win over Freeballers and has his team looking better than ever as playoffs approach.  This is a balanced squad with great athletes on both sides of the ball - if we get the "good" version of Jabronies to show up (always attendance question marks here) they'll be a tough out.

 

#19 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad - (Previous Rank #18)

Last Week:  Lost to Itches and Ohs 37-22

 

With a shot at 7-2 and a share of first place on the line, the Squad couldn't get the job done, falling to Itches and Ohs 37-22 to end their regular season at 6-3.  Clearly this division suites them better than D5 (remember when Practice Squad and Mountain Dew Me were ruining that division last season?) as they're right in the thick of this playoff race.  We believe in B but damn... imagine finishing 6-3 and being "rewarded" with a first round matchup against Buffalo Vice.  

 

#20 T.J. Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars - (Previous Rank #23)

Last Week:  Beat Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 32-20

 

It took us forever to recognize T.J. but now we can't look away.  Puckett finishes the regular season 7-2 and with one of the best offenses in the division (part-time team Breast Friends has better points per game, when teams don't forfeit against them).  This is THE pick to win the division by most, and will surely get the best odds by the Godfather this week (we think).

 

#21 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless - (Previous Rank #21)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

We're told that it was a backup QB (Johnny Football?) who led Scared Hitless to a thrilling comeback down 27-0 against A&A with ~16 minutes left in the game.  Amazing story... doesn't help Dylan's QB rating.  We don't THINK this will lead to a QB switch next season, but what do we know?

 

#22 Dave Baker - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons - (Previous Rank #22)

Last Week:  Lost to Puckett All-Stars 32-20

 

I.L.F. finishes their first season with Dave Baker with a winning record (the first for this team) and a first round matchup against the Bambs (who they've beaten twice this season).  They don't seem to be a threat to Puckett at this point (outscored 75-50 in two losing efforts this season) but the playoffs are a different animal and anything can happen.

 

#23 Terrell Bolden - Why So Serious? - (Previous Rank N/R)

Last Week:  Beat Public Enemy 48-43

 

T-Time is NOT the 23rd best quarterback in the League, let's start with that.  He beat freakin' PUBLIC ENEMY this week in one of the biggest upsets of the year!  But he also hasn't been available for his team most of the season, and they were 0-8 coming into this week as a result.  How do you balance a Top Ten talent with a Bottom Ten reliability?  You split the difference and rank him 23rd, apparently.

 

#24 Vince Taverna - All We Do is Quinn - (Previous Rank #20)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Vince doesn't show up, Quinn gets destroyed, and their regular season ends with a 7th place finish.  We did NOT see this coming for the perennial D3 favorites.  We have almost no faith that they'll turn it around for the playoffs (TopShot and Frodo look way too good right now, and the Angels and Grey Hair - Don't Care ALSO look like better teams) but wouldn't it be fun if we were wrong again?

 

#25 "Coach" Jay Jaskier - Wasted Potential - (Previous Rank #24)

Last Week:  Lost to the Bambs 46-30

 

Wasted Potential started 3-1 and limped to the finish line with five straight losses.  Coach Jay is doing the best he can but D5 looks too strong right now to survive his team's last place defense... and Wasted Potential has a first round matchup with Puckett All-Stars this week.  Yikes.  Feels like an early playoff exit and then free agency where Jay will have to get a few more weapons around him to compete next season.

 

#26 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care - (Previous Rank #28)

Last Week:  Beat the Angels 37-33

 

Grey Hair - Don't Care went 3-0 against the Angels this week, and 2-4 against everyone else in their division.  Unfortunately for Eickhoff and Co, they do NOT draw the Angels for the third week in a row for playoffs, but Untouchaballs should still be a winnable matchup for them as their first game this season was decided by only 2 points.

 

#27 Darryl Carr - Cobblestone - (Previous Rank #25)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Cobblestone somehow crammed an entire season into only 22 days (not an exaggeration), taking bye weeks early and bye weeks/forfeits late.  In 22 days they went 3-5, and they haven't played since May 29th.  We think rust isn't a factor for someone like Darryl who's got to be right up there for all-time TSL games played, but that first round matchup against Jabronies is going to be a tough one.

 

#28 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack - (Previous Rank #26)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

 

Due to an Elphick wedding, Zack attack gets the week off and takes a forfeit loss to cost them the #1 seed.  Seems preventable, but okay! 

 

#29 Nolan Perry - the Untouchaballs - (Previous Rank #27)

Last Week:  Beat Vaspian 31-6

 

One last dominant victory of the year wraps up the Untouchaballs regular season at 4-5 and right in the thick of the D3 standings.  They started the season 0-3 and are 4-2 since, so this team is definitely trending in the right direction as playoffs approach.  Don't count them out against Grey Hair - Don't Care this week, Untouchaballs could easily be playing in the D3 semi-finals next week.

 

#30 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing - (Previous Rank #29)

Last Week:  Beat Tater Tots 33-21

 

Question: answered.  Spinelli's is the strongest team in D6 this session, Tater Tots is #2.  Spinelli's finishes the season fourth in the TSL in offensive points per game, and Nick has established himself as a force to be reckoned with in the D6 playoffs.  Looks like Spinelli's lost one game back on May 8th to TMA and has won six in a row since.  Don't bet against these guys.

 

#31 Mark Harzynski - Tater Tots - (Previous Rank #30)

Last Week:  Lost to Spinelli's Plumbing 33-21

 

No, Mark didn't play this week, so HE hasn't lost to Spinelli's yet (even if his team has).  If Tater Tots want to beat Spinelli's in the playoffs they're going to need Mark to show up though.  Unless TMA crashes the party, these WILL be the D6 Finals teams, and we can't wait to see what both teams can do at full strength.

 

#32 Ward Blewitt - Wolfpack - (Previous Rank #33)

Last Week:  Beat All We Do is Quinn 20-6

 

Wolfpack continues to peak at the right time winning their third in a row after starting the season 1-5 (it would be four in a row if not for a 3 point loss to the Angels before that).  Ward beats Quinn and sets up a first round date with the Angels this week.  Momentum vs Girl Power.  Who are you betting on?

 

#33 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs - (Previous Rank #36)

Last Week:  Beat Practice Squad 37-22

 

The Mosers may think there's a conspiracy against their quarterback as they proclaim him a "Top Ten" or "Top Fifteen QB" in this League... but there are 24 QBs that play in a higher division against better competition (D2 games are harder to win than D4 games) and there are 27 quarterbacks that have scored more points per game than Itches and Ohs (who are fifth even in their own division in scoring).  Simply put, there is no metric other than pure wins and losses that would put Steve in the Top Fifteen (there are 15 teams that are 7-2 or better, so if we ignored level of competition AND offensive output, then sure, but that's a stretch).  It's not personal Steve, it's numbers.  More on that in the Division Recaps below.

 

#34 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian - (Previous Rank #32)

Last Week:  Lost to Untouchaballs 31-6

 

Brian's injury apparently has him playing some QB and some receiver.  He's good at both, but not by enough to beat the surging Untouchaballs this week.  Vaspian has the incredible misfortune of playing TopShot this week, and we don't think they've got the guns to win that shootout.

 

#35 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids - (Previous Rank #34)

Last Week:  Beat the BiPolar Express 38-24

 

Travis Henry's Kids finish a strong debut season in the TSL with a 5-4 record and a win over the BiPolar Express.  John's arm talent has impressed many throughout the League this season and this team could be one to keep an eye on for future sessions... but their 31 point loss to Spinelli's last month makes us wonder if they can really contend right now in the Spring of 2021.

 

#36 Gordon Kus - The BiPolar Express - (Previous Rank #38)

Last Week:  Beat Victorious Secret 61-35

 

Gordon dropped 61 points on Victorious Secret this week? We can only assume that's a team record (our record keeping isn't THAT great, but wouldn't you think 61 would be a record?).  He really knows how to utilize his players as BPX finishes the season in the top third of the League for total offense.

 

#37 Joe K - Lenny's Ladies - (Previous Rank #37)

Last Week:     Lost to TMA 54-0

 

This week was not kind to Lenny's Ladies with a 54-0 shutout, but that's the nature of gender teams - some weeks you have all your talent and you're competitive, other weeks your girls have conflicts with their "primary" teams and you're scrambling to put a team together.  Joe K guided the Ladies to a 3-6 record this season to take the last D6 playoff spot after missing last season with an injury.  Their prize: a date with Spinelli's Plumbing in Round One.  Ouch.

 

#38 Anthony Buono - The Bambs - (Previous Rank #39)

Last Week:  Beat Wasted Potential 46-30

 

The Bambs scored 46 in a big win to grab some momentum heading into the playoffs.  Sure, they haven't beaten the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons yet in two tries this season, but you know what they say about the third time being a charm.  The Bambs finished the Spring 2021 season ranked fifth in offense, defense and point differential, so they're just a hair below average on the season.  If they can get their whole team together and fired up, it could be the start of a successful playoff run.

 

#39 Mike Boccio - Not a Starting QB, Anywhere - (Previous Rank #35)

Last Week:  Lost to Peanut Butter Kelly Time 38-14

 

Last week Mr. Boccio made history as the lowest ranked quarterback in the history of our article at #35.  He narrowly avoids that fate this week dropping to #39 after a loss to Peanut Butter Kelly Time in Breakfast Club.  We'd like to see him actually try QBing his own team next session, it seems like he's good enough.  A seventh gender team maybe (a name jumps to mind, but we can't print it)?  His own breakfast club team?  Or maybe he can replace Tommy on TOX, the way he replaced him as Public Enemy's QB2?

 

#40 Sean Weisensal - Freeballers - (Previous Rank N/R)

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 51-34, lost to Jabronies 28-21 (did not start)

 

We're not ranking Sean "last" here - his #40 Ranking is more a reflection of the fact that he's seemingly just taking over the Freeballers starting position now in the last week of the season, so we don't have a big sample size yet.  We thought George Lombardo was doing well, but rumor has it that the team mutinied and installed Sean as their QB this week.  Sean rallied the team back to take a late lead in the Jabronies game, then scored 34 against Buffalo Vice.  Combine that with his 36-6 thrashing of TOX the week before and maybe he's good enough to make some noise in the D4 playoffs as QB?  Of course the huge downside to this move is that Freeballers are now missing their top receiver, but maybe the sacrifice is worth it.

 

 

...Whoa, whoa, that can't be IT, can it?  We named forty QBs and your guy STILL didn't make the list? Maybe that's because you never wrote to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to tell us about him!  Remember, we can do this better if you write to us and HELP us.  Keep that in mind for next session.

 

***

 

Division Review

 

For our final stats review of the season, we're going to show you the following:

• The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division
• A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with the same "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we used earlier this year (if you're winning games by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math)
• A quick twitter sized recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group.  Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Joey Batts is overrated, but if the underlying numbers say his teams are in fact underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended.

 

And away we go.

 

Division 1

 

 

The Headline:  It's Tight Ends in Motion's division to lose, with two realistic challengers and three "they could upset some teams, but not three times in a row" teams

 

Underrated:  Statistically, it's Tight Ends in Motion.  Look, sometimes the favorite is the most underrated, and that's exactly the case here.  They're outscoring Eyes Downtown by 4.2 PPG and every other team in the division by at least 9 PPG.  Their defense has been debatably even better as they're allowing less than 20 PPG (almost 9 PPT better than everyone else in their division), and just look at the graph above: the point differentials aren't even close.  This team has lost once all season to Eyes Downtown, and they've had only one other close game.  If you're not betting on TEIM, you're not paying attention.

 

Overrated:  The numbers don't say that Public Enemy is "overrated": they say that they're third in their division in Offense and second in their division in Defense.  It FEELS as if they're overrated as favorites by the TSL though, as their performance hasn't matched their reputation as "the champs".  They could still win the whole thing (they were considered the favorites by many until VERY recently), and then being "overrated" will seem like a bad joke, but the numbers right now do not support that this is their division to lose.

 

 

Division 2

 

 

The Headline:  Three teams stand alone as clear favorites; a couple others have a shot at an upset run, but the rest of them aren't going to go the distance

 

Underrated:  When Dove Cries may have a quarterback born during the Nixon administration, but they also have the best chance of knocking off the three favorites in the playoffs.  They beat Losing Streak early in the season, they tied Peachy Platoon, and they only lost badly to A&A when they were missing several players this past week.  No other team has had more success against D2's elite.  And other than that A&A game, their only other losses were by 14 to Mountain Dew Me and 6 to XTC, so they still haven't been badly beaten while at full strength.  

 

Overrated:  They're not "overrated" as a team because they are and SHOULD be among the favorites to win the division, but we'll say statistically that Losing Streak are the most "overrated" team here simply because of their inflated point differentials.  Two of their biggest wins were against a shorthanded Passed Our Prime (won by 55) and a QB-less XTC (won by 48).  Throw out those two outliers and their average point differential drops from 16.78 PPG (best in the division) to 6.86 PPG (which would still leave them in the "favorites" category, but now in third place behind A&A and Peachy Platoon).  We're not blaming Losing Streak for running up the score in these games (it's not their fault when the other teams' players don't show up) but the math suggests that they're not really a full touchdown better than their competition when they're playing against full teams.

 

 

Division 3

 

 

The Headline:  TopShot are massive favorites, while other flawed contenders try to knock them off on the road to D3 glory.

 

Underrated:  Frodo Swaggins may be the most underrated team in the League right now, as they have still not lost a game with their starting Quarterback present.  Look at the charts above and you'll see that they're ranked third in offense, sixth in defense, and fifth in total point differential (a negative point differential for a second place team is VERY rare, but more on that later).  Fine, but nothing that would make you think they're going to win a division.  If we adjusted their metrics to erase the games that Garrett missed (and similarly adjusted their opponents for those games to pretend those games didn't happen as well) Frodo would jump from third/sixth/fifth in offense/defense/net points to first/third/second in those same categories.  Yes, when Garrett is present, his team is actually outscoring TopShot on a per game basis (and that's NOT including an adjustment for the game he subbed for them and put up 56 points).  If the TSL gave out Spring MVP awards, this would be our argument for why it's Garrett Beesing by a mile.

 

Overrated:  Grey Hair - Don't Care are one of only three teams with a winning record in D3, but that's about the only thing they have in common with TopShot and Frodo Swaggins.  Of their five wins, three of them came against one team (the Angels, against whom they obviously match up well) and the fourth was against Frodo when they were missing their MVP QB.  Their only other win this season came against last place Vaspian.  They're not overrated as athletes (again, that's never what we're trying to say here, the team is loaded with good athletes) but as the #3 seed and a team with a winning record you would expect them to have more encouraging big wins this season, and they're just not there.

 

 

Division 4

 

 

The Headline:  The TSL's most wide open division with several viable contenders (and a few that either missed the playoffs or have no realistic shot of winning them)

 

Underrated:  Buffalo Vice are the fourth seed in their division, but they have the best offense, best point differential, and they're tied for the best record in the division.  We're splitting hairs a bit here because no one in this division is statistically "underrated" (most good teams have winning records at the expense of Not So Sticky and Woodpeckers losing everything) but Buffalo Vice may get lost in the shuffle a bit as the fourth seed, and the stats say they're probably the most complete team in the division (by a very small amount over Jabronies)

 

Overrated:  At the risk of yet another complaint on Facebook, there's only one clear answer to this question:  Itches and Ohs, IT'S NOT PERSONAL, but your team finished with the best record on tie-breakers... and also a negative point differential on the season.  We cannot recall this ever happening before for a first place team.   There's a theorem created by Bill James for baseball that ESPN now uses to analyze football which boils down to "point differential is a better indicator of FUTURE winning percentage than winning percentage itself" (google it if you want). In other words the fact that you won close games in the past doesn't mean you'll win them in the future; your point differential is a better estimate of how you'll do in future games.  And in this case, the first place team in D4 ranks seventh in their division in point differential.  It's no disrespect to your quarterback or your athletes to say that the MATH suggests you're a long-shot to win the division.

 

 

Division 5

 

 

The Headline:  Two favorites, two teams clearly good enough to win the whole things, four other longshots.

 

Underrated:  Puckett All-Stars have won six in a row since starting 1-2, and they've topped 40 points scored in four of those games.  Clearly peaking at the right time and with the second best point differential in the division, this is the most "underrated" team in D5 (if any team that Topper has consistently predicted will win the division can be considered "underrated").

 

Overrated:  We'll give you two: First, Zack Attack has a legit defense that deserves all the credit it gets... but they can only bail out their 6th ranked offense so many times before they run out of good luck.  Throw out their huge 38-0 win over University Wealth Management (who crushed them in turn the next week) and their point differential on the year goes down to +1 point.  Not one point per game, but one point total.  Zack was very fortunate to go 7-2 (7-1 not counting their forfeit!) outscoring their competition by exactly one massacre win plus one other point throughout the season.  We don't think that will translate into a deep playoff run, as their luck eventually runs out.

 

Second, Breast Friends went 4-2 this season.  That's a good record, but it's not a 7-2 record.  We've never seen a team benefit from THREE forfeit wins in a single season before.  Of course that doesn't mean they wouldn't have won those games anyway, as they might have finished 7-2 regardless.  But: they haven't proven they're a 7-2 team yet, they've proven they're a team that has won two out of three.  That extrapolates to a 6-3 season, which would have been good for third in the division, not first.  Great team, but "overrated" as a #1 seed.

 

 

Division 6

 

 

The Headline:  Two big favorites and a handful of dark horse contenders, with three teams that are not even close to contention yet.

 

Underrated:  Easily TMA.  We talk about Spinelli's vs Tater Tots as THE feud in this division, but TMA is just a game behind the Tots in the standings, they ALSO boast a huge point differential at +11.6 PPG, and they're the only team that's actually beaten Spinelli's Plumbing this season (which immediately makes them contenders).  One of their losses was even to a D4 team, so that barely even counts! (Never mind how that team has done since they got moved up to D4...).

 

Overrated:  Ehh... no obvious candidates for an overrated team in D6 this session, as each team's record generally matches its performance.  If we had to pick one though (and we do!) we'll choose Lenny's Ladies only because their record is three games better than Juiced, but their average point differential is actually worse.  This is likely a product of attendance issues throughout the season that caused them to lose a few games by huge amounts.  With each division playing at different timeslots for round one of the playoffs, it's possible that Lenny's Ladies gets all their players and has a dominant performance this week.  But we're basing our analysis on past results, and that -15.7 PPG looks daunting when their first round matchup is against Spinelli's Plumbing and their +16.0 PPG.

 

**

 

Final Observations on the Season

• There was one undefeated team last week... and then they lost.  With TopShot's loss against Frodo Swaggins this week, there were NO TSL teams (outside of the Clarke's Breakfast Club team) that went undefeated this session.  That marks three seasons in a row without a true undefeated squad in the main League.
• There were two remaining winless teams last week between Why So Serious? (D1) and Juiced (D6)... and Why So Serious pulled off a huge upset over the defending D1 champions to strike its name from that list.  In the process Juice became the only winless team this session (there weren't any last Fall).  Hopefully they make a few roster changes and stick with it in the Fall session.  Losing isn't fun, but it DOES make you appreciate eventually winning that much more.
• The longest winning streak in the League now belongs to Peachy Platoon at 7 games in a row (8 games unbeaten, since they tied the game before that).  Can you BELIEVE we knocked Dean down in the Power Rankings this week??
• With upset wins by Why So Serious and University Wealth Management the last couple weeks, the longest losing streak in the League now belongs to Juiced at 9 games in a row.
• This was the largest season in recent memory with 52 teams in our standard divisions and 8 breakfast club teams.  We generally leave the philosophizing and deep reflection to our other website contributors who do it much better than we do, but damn, that's really impressive that we pulled it off even with the looming threat of COVID still around at the beginning of the season.  You just can't stop the TSL it seems.

 

And that's it for this season!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you wanted us to rank all 52 starting QBs this year?  you have better ideas for other people/positions/t-shirts/league executives that we can rank?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

 

What’s YOUR ranking?