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Week 4 thoughts, picks, and Insights

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 14 May 2021 14:24
Published: Friday, 14 May 2021 14:24
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 489


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, tomorrow morning you will once again be able to descend upon the Angry Buffalo, check into your Topper Sports COVID app, put your gloves on along with your cleats and your matching colored shirts and prepare for battle as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality rages on!


I know you’re just as excited to play as I am to hear about how you played. I appreciate those of you who consistently text, telegram, and email me. The few who still fax me, I appreciate you even more. My conversations with some of the league’s best on a weekly (or bi-weekly) basis have been awesome. I still don’t get to hear from enough of you though! I know for a fact that a very large chunk of you read this article on a weekly basis. You wait all week for it. Yeah, you get to read The Sentinel to hold you over. And the power rankings are fun. . . if you’re a QB. The podcast is a nice, and long, look into the league. But we know where the bread is buttered here. This article is the reason you check the site at least once a week. So why don’t you take a few minutes out of your week to give me the heads up on how your team is doing, or what you think about the league,  or really just about anything TSL related so I can give you (and others) the proper shoutouts? Just email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let’s chat. There are too many players whose names I don’t know, and I want them to get the proper publicity! The TSL is all about giving the right people their credit, so come and give some! New stars, new storylines, new faces. It’s all part of the fun of the TSL, and the more information the better.


Okay, shameless plugs and pleas for help aside, WEEK FOUR IS HERE! The fun starts fast and furious as Breakfast Club seems to have multiple bets on their games this week. And the action stays hot and heavy all the way through 4:00. Teams are continuing to hit their stride while others may or may not be slightly cracking under the intense pressure to perform in the World’s Greatest Co-Ed Football Experience.


Also, for those that didn’t know, May 15th is also “Buy Topper a Corona and Take A Picture With Him” Day. Please email me all of your pictures with Topper so we can post them on the website/Facebook/Instagram and see just how many pictures we can get of our “Lord” (this is apparently a thing we’re doing?) and his people.


Best picture with Topper from this Saturday will win a free bucket.


No, he doesn’t know this is happening. At least he didn’t, until he read this.


Good luck!


Now, onto the games!




Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 52, Sloppy Seconds 20

Eyes Downtown 43, Sloppy Seconds 40

Sticky Bandits 21, Why So Serious 0 (Forfeit, obviously)

Public Enemy 34, Eyes Downtown 28


The league’s most boring and uninteresting division continues on being just that. Tight Ends show that they’re ALMOST the class of D1 as they’re on a collision course with Public Enemy for the “Let’s get revenge because we blew the last title game” rematch, disposing of Sloppy Seconds. However, it’s pretty fun to see Sloppy Seconds versus the New Eyes Downtown play a game where Sloppy should’ve won it. And if you’re basically a brand new roster, is that time to change your team name? This isn’t Eyes Downtown. Of course I don’t even know what they’d call themselves now, probably something dumb like “Bobby’s Boys” so maybe they just keep it for now. Anyway, it took an entire team not to show up for Sticky to score more than single digits, so good for them. It’s almost like Sticky needs one more piece to start competing more. It’s almost like a Dave Baker-type player would be perfect for them. Finally, Public Enemy got its first real test of the season, and they passed it with flying colors. They’re just dialed in, waiting for the Tight Ends game. That’s the real test.



This Week’s Games:


Sloppy Seconds vs Sticky Bandits (+9) – Not a whole lot of action this time around in D1, but what we do have is a pretty nice “revenge” game for Alex Buchlis. Let’s face it, as much as we make fun of Baker for ditching Sticky, let’s give some attitude towards Tight Ends AND Sticky both for ditching Alex at QB when he got hurt for other QBs. Yeah, okay, maybe things have been good with Bro and Mike Thomas, but at some point you have to feel for Alex, who’s becoming the people’s champion in a way. I really hope he shows no mercy here. SLOPPY SECONDS BY 17


Tight Ends In Motion vs Eyes Downtown (+8) – Tight Ends is on cruise control, while New Eyes Downtown (NED? Should we call them NED?) is rounding into form but still has a few hiccups in their growth together, which is to be expected. An upset would be quite spicy, but it’s not in the cards yet. TIGHT ENDS BY 13




Last Week’s Games:

Slytherin That End Zone 31, Scared Hitless 7

When Dove Cries 23, Bullet Club 22

A&A 32, Losing Streak 6

Peachy Platoon 32, Mountain Dew Me 25

Peachy Platoon 46, XTC 34


               SITE came back after a week off and Matt Newman sort of reintroduced himself to D2, playing a great game and reminding EVERYONE just why SITE is a D2 favorite. Scared Hitless turned back into the mistake prone “maybe not quite ready for D2” team, which means they’re just not using Jonny Football nearly enough. Topper and Joe K went to battle for the 400th time, and a late WDC TD lead to a win for Topper, who’s playing some great football. The problem with a new team like Losing Streak getting a lot of positive publicity is that they had to run into a Matty Ice who wasn’t getting enough. A&A did what they do best, and shut up not only their own critics, but they made the supporters of their opponents wonder just what exactly they were thinking. You forget how good Matty can be with a chip on his shoulder. Blame the power rankings committee. The Platoon had a nice win in the battle of “teams that are mostly families” and Mountain Dew Me is performing well with Joey Batts at QB, even if he seems slower than ever this season. Peachy would go on to play a fun game against XTC, but the old horses just didn’t have enough gas in the tank to keep up with these hyper athletic Thompsons, who I’m almost positive were grown in a lab somewhere down south.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs Peachy Platoon (+2) – Oh, this one should be good. Really, really good. Matty vs Dean is an S-Tier level matchup, and A&A is one team that can match the Platoon’s speed and athleticism. This would be our Monday Night Football matchup, probably the best one of the Week hands down. Both teams are rolling right now. Give the nod to the slight experience. A&A BY 1


Bullet Club vs Slytherin That End Zone (+3) – These two teams have had a nice rivalry as of late, with some really good back and forth games. I think, with both teams at full capacity, that they’re evenly matched. It’ll come down to which QB makes a mistake first. Scotty and Newman are both just slinging it about as good as anyone right now. Can I predict a tie? No, I won’t. SITE BY 1


When Dove Cries vs Mountain Dew Me (+1) – What a slate of D2 games! Topper vs Joey Batts? Great stuff here. WDC seems very dialed in right now, while MDM is still figuring out a few kinks. If this game was played later in the season, it might be a different story, but for now: WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 1


XTC vs Scared Hitless (+7) – This is the game that Scared Hitless need to win if they’re going to do anything in the division this season. It isn’t that XTC are some pushovers, they’re extremely talented and they have approximately 42,560 seasons of combined experience here. But Father Time is creeping in and Scared Hitless should be able to out athletic XTC. But can they outsmart them? That is the question as two 0-3 teams look to get important playoff tiebreaker wins here.  SCARED HITLESS BY 1


Slytherin That End Zone vs Mountain Dew Me (+1) – The second game for both teams, the second tough matchup for both teams. I think the biggest question here is going to be just how will the MDM defense fare against the SITE play calling? I think that’s the biggest (even if its slight) advantage in the game, and that’s how SITE pulls this one out. SITE BY 1


Losing Streak vs Passed Our Prime (+3) – Will the real Passed Our Prime please stand up? POP looks like the chumps of the division, but most of that is because they’ve been playing with a skeleton crew, and Keyon can’t do everything. Losing Streak should be angry, licking their wounds after a bad day at the office last week against A&A. These two teams know each other very well, so this could be a really fun one. LOSING STREAK BY 1


Passed Our Prime vs Scared Hitless (+5) – It’s a double header week for both teams, but this is the kind of week that could really send both teams “to the moon” or have them looking towards next season. For those who don’t remember, D2 has 10 teams, which means two won’t make the playoffs. This is a match up of two teams that are currently winless, so we have another pretty big playoff tiebreaker matchup. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 1





Last Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins 41, All We Do Is Quinn 34

Matty’s Angels 50, Vaspian 22

Top Shot 46, Wolfpack 14

The Untouchaballs 24, Grey Hair 22

Top Shot 25, Grey Hair 6


               All hail King Garrett. The Frodo QB put his team on the map yet again, and made everyone remember just how good they are. Frodo is now in the driver’s seat in D3, which is where they always have been. They seem to be rolling, while the doubts in Quinn’s head can start earlier this season. Matty’s Angels did that thing they do to everyone and just rolled Vaspian. There’s no shame in it. Top Shot did what they were supposed to do this week, and handily defeat both teams they played. They’re officially in “contender” status, and they’ll only go as far as Dylan Jaloza will take them. Or until they get sick of Blasé. Wolfpack and Grey Hair had some rough games, but there’s a lot of season left for them to get it together. The Untouchaballs finally cashed in on that “promise” they’ve been showing the league and notched their first win of the year.



This Week’s Games:


Frodo Swaggins vs Matty’s Angels (+3) – Well, here’s the heavyweight bout people were looking for in D3. Frodo just took over the mantle of “team to beat” in the division, but the Angels have spent years beating the “team to beat” and morphing into the team to beat themselves. This is going to be a fantastic game, and if we showed games live on the internet (TOPPER! IDEA!) this would be a marquee attraction. I don’t know who to pick here, both teams are excellent, so I’ll go with the girls. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 6


Wolfpack vs Vaspian (+2) – Two teams still finding themselves as the season goes on, both show potential, but they also show that they don’t always reach said potential. This is a perfect game for both teams to get a win here, but let’s roll with “the underdog” here. VASPIAN BY 2


All We Do Is Quinn vs Wolfpack (+14) – I’m sorry Wolfpack. Not only do you have two games this week, the second one is against a very angry (or at least they should be) AWDIQ. Quinn doesn’t like to lose (regardless of how often they do it in the playoffs) and I think they’re refocused after last week’s loss. Maybe they underestimated Frodo without Scotty at QB? Who knows, but Wolfpack is probably going to pay for it. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 18


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Vaspian (+2) – Two teams still finding themselves as the season goes on, both show potential, but they also show that they don’t always reach said potential. This is a perfect game for both teams to get a win here, but let’s roll with “the underdog” here. VASPIAN BY 2

Matty’s Angels vs Grey Hair (+15) – I just don’t think Grey Hair has the horses to run with the Angels. Grey Hair is talented, yes, but the key to keeping up with gender teams is get gender TDs of your own. I’m not sure Grey Hair has the female talent to score gender TDs every time and that will hurt them here. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 24




Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 51, Itches and Ohs 16

Jabronies 38, TOX 28

Cunning Stunts 43, Woodpeckers 15

Practice Squad 40, Cobblestone 8

Practice Squad 31, Jabronies 28

Cobblestone 46, Not So Sticky 7


               Buffalo Vice just showed again why they may be D4’s most complete team. Just dominant in another victory. The Jabronies had two very impressive games, winning against TOX, and looking good in defeat to Practice Squad. Practice Squad went 2-0, and while they RUINED Darryl’s first game back, they showed that they’re going to be in the mix for this title. There hasn’t been a better overall free agent acquisition for a team than when PS got B to QB. Best story in the league. The Stunts abused the Woodpeckers who were reportedly falling apart on each other on the sidelines. That’s not a good sign. Guys, everyone loses to the Stunts, don’t take it personally. They’re GOOD. And finally, Darryl just beat up on Jeff Krol’s side project, and he was incredibly gracious in victory it seems, drinking with NSS afterwards. Just a quality human.


This Week’s Games:


Practice Squad vs Woodpeckers (+21) – This is where we’re at in three weeks. The Peckers went from dominant “MOVE THEM UP” D6 team to getting 21 points against last year’s D5 runner ups. That’s not a knock on PS, for the record. I just don’t think that 21 points is where this line needs to be. The Peckers definitely weren’t ready to play a gender team and it showed, but they’re also adjusting to the league. It’ll be much closer than this for sure. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7


Buffalo Vice vs TOX (+22) – Stopping the Vice offense just feels impossible for anyone in D4, but I DO think that TOX will be able to call some smart plays and stay in the game. 22 is a lot of points here. TOX feels weirdly underrated right now, and they deserve a little more respect. But I don’t think they pull this out, don’t get me wrong. Vice is the cream of the crop. BUFFALO VICE BY 13


Jabronies vs Not So Sticky (+15) – Not So Sticky hasn’t been great since a Week 1 victory against a Juiced team that’s struggled in D6 since. It’s not their fault, they’re literally there to have fun and have a few drinks. The goal isn’t winning so much as it is enjoying the experience and having a great time. They’re nailing that, by all accounts. Jabronies meanwhile, are focused more on the winning part, which is why that’s what they’ll be doing. JABRONIES BY 9


Itches and Ohs vs Cobblestone (+7) – The disrespect for Darryl! Itches has been a good team, and now that they’re getting used to their new roster, they’ll only be getting better. Cobblestone has been a TSL staple since probably before the league even started somehow, and it seems people are forgetting just how good they are. Give me the “upset” and Darryl’s Hair. COBBLESTONE BY 4




Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 28, UWM 26

Wasted Potential 28, Show Me Dem TDs 26

Zack Attack 18, Puckett All-Stars 13

ILF 40, Breast Friends 34


               A lot of one score games this week in D5, which is a good thing. The Bambs pull out a win against UWM, who is still searching for a win (and a QB it seems). Wasted Potential continues to improve, gutting out a close one with Show Me. Zack Attack still struggles to score a ton, but their defense is top notch, shutting down Puckett this time en route to a 4-0 record. ILF handed Travis and the girls their 2nd loss of the season, in a hard fought game. Per a gloating email from Andrew Kicak this week, They had Alex Baker rush Travis so he couldn’t just run around for 50 minutes in the backfield. This lead to a few ints from Travis and ILF won it on the last play of the game. Championship preview? Maybe.


This Week’s Games:


Breast Friends vs University Wealth Management (+17) – Even at 3-2, Breast Friends has the highest Points For in the division. (We’ll ignore they played an extra game over ILF) while UWM struggles to stop anyone, allowing 152 points in 4 games. This doesn’t bode well for the Keller clan. They probably need more Kevin. BREAST FRIENDS BY 24


Show Me Dem TDs vs Puckett All-Stars (+1) – This should be a very evenly contested matchup of two teams that have played together for quite some time but are still making adjustments every week. I think it’s going to come down to offense, and Show Me is much better in that category, so SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 12


ILF vs Wasted Potential (+3) – It’s weird saying this about ILF, but if Wasted Potential has championship aspirations, this is their measuring stick. WP has proved they score, and I’m sure they’ll do exactly that against ILF, but the question is going to be if they can ever stop them. I’m thinking no, not yet. ILF BY 7


Zack Attack vs Wasted Potential (+6) – What a heck of a double header for WP this week, against the top teams in the division. Weirdly enough, I think they’ll have an easier time stopping the Zack Attack offense, it just really will come down to if Coach Jay can figure out how to score on a fantastic defense. I’m calling the upset here: WASTED POTENTIAL BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Tater Tots 37, Victorious Secret 8

Blitzkrieg 35, Lenny’s Ladies 28

TMA 32, Spinelli’s Plumbing 29

Graves Bros 40, The Bi-Polar Express 34

Travis Henry’s Kids 34, Juiced 20


               Tater Tots continue to play very well against the D6 gender teams, but let’s not forget that they’ve been slowly getting better every season since coming into the league. Victorious Secret still has some growing pains for adjusting to a new league, but I’m confident that Jordan and the girls will figure this out before the season’s end. Blitzkrieg knocked away the game winning TD on the game’s final play to take a win over Lenny’s Ladies. Shout out to Allie for juking the entire field out on a long 6-0 TD run. TMA got Ryan back at QB. No Dio? No problem. Ryan may have played his best game in a TMA uniform, dicing up Spinelli’s, and winning on the final drive. Welcome back. Graves Bros pulled out a win against BPX, as the two teams once again had a one score game. They always play each other tough. Finally, Travis Henry’s Kids is the best new team nobody is talking about, as they trounced Juiced 34-20.


This Week’s Games:


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Graves Bros (+5) – Remember how I said nobody is talking about THK? Well, this is the fastest way to fix that. Graves Bros are the D6 title favorites, but a big win here puts THK firmly in the mix. This is easily the biggest game of their young TSL careers, and I can’t wait to see how they respond. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 1


Victorious Secret vs Juiced (+3) – Juiced is still struggling to figure things out on their end, which means VS is catching them at the perfect time. The girls are ready for their first win, after coming so close in their other matchups. Everyone of course, wants them to win. I want them to win. Look for Erika to continue her stellar play here as they get the W. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 7


TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+5) – It’s really funny. I yelled at Alex from BK to email me, and he did. He described TMA as their rivals. I think at least 3 teams would consider TMA that. But who is TMA’s biggest rival? It’s probably Tater Tots, right? Anyway, this is a big week for BK to get back on the map, so they’re ready for TMA. The problem is that TMA is sneakily maybe the best team in D6. Hear me out: They’re 2-2, but one of those losses was to the Woodpeckers in Week 1, and the other was a last second loss to Graves Bros. If they played Juiced instead of WP, they probably win, and one bounce the other way in the Graves game makes them 4-0. BK’s two losses came in a double header week without their starting QB. There’s a world where this is a huge matchup of two 4-0 teams. Maybe they really are rivals. TMA BY 3.


Tater Tots vs Lenny’s Ladies (+13) – The Tots played Lenny’s Ladies a few times last year and it never went well for the girls. The Tots are rolling along while Joe K and the Ladies are still figuring out defense. It takes a while. I also hear that they have attendance issues with scheduling conflicts each week, as is usually the case with gender teams. It’s hard to get a defense installed that way, so it’ll still take some time, but they keep showing improvement, which is great for the league. I can’t see them pulling this out though. TATER TOTS BY 15


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs The Bi-Polar Express (+11) – Is Spinelli’s good? They’re 2-1 but I’m not entirely sure I’ve seen enough from them to consider them a main contender to the title. This will be a good test for both teams but I think BPX needs this one more. Slight upset alert: THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 2


Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg (+2) – Really big week for BK here. If they can go 2-0 against Graves and TMA, they’re looking GREAT. Graves continues to be a very good team that stays underappreciated. A big win against BK here could really do wonders for how the league sees them as contenders. GRAVES BROS BY 8


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Juiced (+13) – Even if I had to ask if Spinelli’s is good, I know Juiced is not. Not yet anyway. It takes time. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 12




1. What’s the best D2 QB matchup? There’s some barnburners this week, with Topper vs Joey Batts, Jordan vs Jeremy, and Newman vs Scotty Dro, but it’s very clearly the show to watch is Matty Ice vs Dean. Matty Ice is essentially playing a younger version of himself in Dean, and he has to figure out a way to beat him. This comic book narrative is right up his alley anyway.


2. Wine tournament teams forming? The excitement Trish showed about the wine tournament on the podcast this week is exactly the reason why they have it. It sounds like teams are already forming, so it’ll be interesting to see who plays with who in what is usually the biggest tampering event for the Fall season.


3. Will we finally have that “perfect day”? We’ve been close I hear. But Saturday is looking to be pushing 70 degrees with no wind and only slightly cloudy. I think we’re there. Sunscreen kids.


4. Who are the current most overrated teams in the TSL? All We Do Is Quinn, Bullet Club, and Spinelli’s Plumbing all look to be not as good as their current records show. Look for them to lose a few more games.


5. Who should move down a division next season? I still think Vaspian would benefit from playing in D4. Wolfpack looks that way too. Then again, half of D3 seems that way I guess. I think TOX bit off more than they could chew with a jump up. And UWM should consider sliding back too. And then of course, Sticky Bandits. Unless Baker decides to play with them and they try a D1 team WITH him this time. Could be fun.




1. Even if Joey Batts is looking slower these days, he’s still slinging it better than just about anyone on the fields.


2. The whispers of the Chris Cole retirement tour are starting to grow louder. I truly hope this isn’t his last season, and if he has to walk away from the game, he does so after the Fall so the league can give him a proper “Kobe-like” send off that lasts the whole season.


3. I really like how well the gender teams are playing. I’ll say it weekly, but The Angels and Stunts are incredibly established, and the third “longest” playing team is BPX, who still puts up points despite needing to adjust their roster season to season. Our three newer teams are also playing very well and improving each week, regardless of the record. Incoming gender team tournament? You never know.


4. Breakfast Club remains the highlight of many people’s day because of the less stressful nature of it. This week’s game predictions: Robin’s Nest 52 – Stone Cold Kellers 34, Great White Clarkes 38 – Drive Me CURRazy 36, Valkryies 31 – The EMigos 20, and Peanut Butter Kelly Time 34 – Steph It Up A Notch 27.


5. I didn’t get any updates to who picked who for the Topper vs Travis picks pool this week, but it looks like Topper cleaned up on Travis last week, which is what the people want anyway.


6. Paul Scinta is incredibly underappreciated. I think we’re overdue for a cheese platter. For that matter Brent McKenzie is too. Perhaps we can get them to sing a duet together.


7. Much better work on cleaning up the fields this week guys, you never cease to amaze me with how you work together as a group to right any potential wrongs.


8. Two straight weeks of DJ Jimmy has done wonders for general league morale. The new people to the league seem to love the ambiance it brings! Although, I think it’ll be a couple weeks before he returns. So that means prepare to get mad at Travis for his music choices.


9. Happy Birthday to Jimmy Hearn, who celebrated turning 40 with the league last weekend. And probably this weekend too, if we’re being honest. So many of you kids have no idea just how good his hands are when it comes to catching a football.


10. Finally, I’ve been told that Lauren O’Brien from TMA has agreed to be the next TSL Bachelorette. While I think I was told that Diana made her do it, all reports about her say she’s a lovely person. I’m a little torn on “running it back” when it comes to the Bachelorette since it’ll just be weird without Lenny, but I do think Joe K and Topper could do a really good job with this. So if you’re interested in being a contestant on winning a date with Lauren, talk to Joe K, Topper, Diana Bernal, or someone that isn’t Lauren at the fields. (We don’t want her to know who you are, that’s part of the fun).


Our season is in full swing, it seems like our COVID restrictions are loosening up around the country (NOTE: NOTHING HAS CHANGED FOR THE TSL CURRENTLY, CONTINUE HOW YOU HAVE BEEN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE), and life is getting back to normal. It’s awesome. Go forth, and battle on the slightly soft gridiron, Social Co-Ed Football Immortality awaits you.


Good luck out there and have some fun everyone. Thanks for reading. And remember, I’ll be in the cut.



Week 3 thoughts, Picks, and Insights

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 07 May 2021 14:29
Published: Friday, 07 May 2021 14:29
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 494


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: Happy Friday. You did it. You faced another work week dead in the eye, and you thrived. Maybe. Hopefully.


However this week went for you, you’re just one day away from Week 3 of the Race For Social Co-ed Football Immortality. Historically, Week 3 is when things really start to pick up. The “newness” of a fresh season starts to wear off, and teams are getting a bit more focused as they see where things are stacking up for them this season. Some teams are realizing they might not have what it takes to compete for the division this time around, and others are gaining confidence by the game!


Speaking of that, if you’re reading this before 12:00pm Eastern Standard Time on Friday, May 7th, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, then you have some time to send in your FINAL roster. I’ve heard that there was some confusion due to the loosening up of some roster restrictions, so I’ll just make it clear here for everyone:


If you are to add anyone to your roster before the above deadline, they can ONLY be players who are NOT on a roster elsewhere.


“But Godfather, Topper said we can have people from other rosters! This isn’t fair!”


Yes, my child, it is. You see, in the offseason when the rule change was announced, Topper made it clear that all players who are playing on a second team must be placed on those rosters before Week 1. This was to prevent someone from casually chatting up other players at the bar in Week 2 and building a much stronger roster after they were already placed in their division. I mean, we can’t move EVERY super team, right?


So, if you didn’t already submit a roster with those players on it, they’re ineligible. But anyone without a current roster is still fair game, provided you read this and find someone in the couple of hours you’ll get when Topper posts my article. Good luck out there!


Back to football, things have been pretty nice so far! I was told Week 2 was a little windy, but we’ve still had some pretty good weather and some VERY good football games. Let’s get into those now. . . .





Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 30, Sticky Bandits 0

Tight Ends In Motion 53, Why So Serious? 8

Public Enemy 33, Why So Serious? 17

Eyes Downtown 35, Sloppy Seconds 21


               Okay, ignore the “very good football games” part when we talk about D1. It’s nobody’s fault really. Actually, I lied, it’s Topper’s fault for giving us such a lackluster D1 schedule to start with. Sticky Bandits have yet to score a TD in D1 this season. I know they had points last week, but apparently that was a Dave Baker touchdown and the refs wrote it down wrong. Things can only get easier for them from here on out. Probably. TEIM and PE just teamed up to smack around Why So Serious, but it appears that most of the WSS team wasn’t at the fields this week which lead to some very interesting roster compositions. It’s rough when you miss a lot of your players, and it’s even worse when you have a double header that week. Finally, Sloppy Seconds is coming along! They held their own against New Eyes Downtown, and the game was closer than the score suggests. Allegedly.


This Week’s Games:


Tight Ends In Motion vs Sloppy Seconds (+25) – Okay, I swear, there are better games coming up. Even with Sloppy Seconds performing well, they’re no match for the buzzsaw that is TEIM at the moment. This team is just on the revenge tour, they tout top players in the league for QB, males, and females, and they have a giant, Chris Cole sized chip on their shoulder. Godspeed Sloppy. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 31


Eyes Downtown vs Sloppy Seconds (+14) – A quick repeat of the game we just saw last week. The hardest part for Sloppy this time around is that they’re going to be playing this one on the backend of two games in a row. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 14.


Why So Serious? vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – FINALLY! A pretty even matched game for both of these teams. These two squads are hungry for their first wins this season, which means this will inevitably end in a tie. In reality though, Sticky is actually the team that’s more in sync with each other, and with WSS not getting enough playing time together yet, I think we could see a mild upset here. STICKY BANDITS BY 3.


Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+9) -  Will the real PE please stand up? We haven’t really had to see them, like, try yet this season. As a result, there’s nobody better on this planet to awaken the beast quite like Bobby McConnell. The long time rivals will meet, and even if a lot of the names are different, the legendary QBs remain the same. Bobby has always wanted to be Chris Cole. Beating him? That’s always a bit harder. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 8




Last Week’s Games:

A&A 30, XTC 25

Peachy Platoon 23, When Dove Cries 23

Bullet Club 36, Scared Hitless 32

When Dove Cries 34, Losing Streak 31

Peachy Platoon 48, Passed Our Prime 20


               Don’t look now, but Topper is 2-0-1 and at the top of the standings after two 4th quarter comebacks. Yes, he ruined the comeback against Peachy by taking a sack on the final conversion, but he can’t be perfect. He also led a late scoring drive for the win against Losing Streak, in the most exciting game of the season so far. Scared Hitless fared much better in Week 2, taking a quick lead on Bullet Club, but BC got it together to scratch out the victory. A&A came out against XTC looking sharp on the field and off it with some new jerseys. Even with Matty hobbling on one leg, he still lead his team to a win. Finally, Peachy Platoon ran all over an undermanned Passed Our Prime. One has to wonder if POP will ever have a full squad this season.


This Week’s Games:


Slytherin That End Zone vs Scared Hitless (+4) – SITE returns from a short break to take on the D3 champions. We haven’t seen a lot from SITE just yet, and the question remains on who exactly the QB is there. Is it Newman? Is it Seth? Is it QB waiting in the wings Coach Jay? Hitless knows exactly who they are: a team of guys and gals that are lucky to play with Johnny Football. Dylan looked a lot better at QB than Week 1, and I’m feeling a little frisky here. SCARED HITLESS BY 7


Bullet Club vs When Dove Cries (+1) – Topper is 2-0-1. Joe K is 2-0. There has to be some sort of alcoholic bet on this one, as we have an early battle for first place in the division. These two teams have, over time, held some very good contests and I expect this one to be no different. BULLET CLUB BY 1


A&A vs Losing Streak (+2) – Matty Ice vs Jordan. One of the best QB battles we’ll see this weekend, and maybe ever. Losing Streak has been incredible since joining the division, making anyone who bet the 18-1 odds early on feeling REALLY good about it. This game is the measuring stick. Does A&A have anyone that can cover Chris Nelson OR Ralph? I’m not sure. The pink team gets another signature win. LOSING STREAK BY 6


Peachy Platoon vs Mountain Dew Me (+3) – A classic battle of a really talented and fast football family with a handsome QB vs a really talented and fast football family with a handsome QB. Thompson vs McGregor. This is exciting stuff, honestly, but I’m going to give the edge to the team with the better girls. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3


XTC vs Passed Our Prime (+5) – Right now, it’s hard to tell exactly WHO POP is. They have the talent for sure, but then the talent doesn’t show up. Will we see Bloomfield? Who knows? XTC has the clear advantage at QB and for the females. That’s a winning combo every time. XTC BY 10


Peachy Platoon vs XTC (+9) – Peachy Platoon is really just what XTC was in 2013. Young, fast, and very talented. I don’t know if XTC has the lung capacity (other than Katie Keller of course) to play two games anymore. PEACHY PLATOON BY 12




Last Week’s Games:

Wolfpack 12, The Untouchaballs 7

All We Do Is Quinn 22, Wolfpack 17


               In what was apparently the Wolfpack showcase this weekend, they went 1-1, which seems about right. They beat a slowly learning how to play defense Untouchaballs with Sticky Hands Blonde Chick, and then they lost to the D3 favorites but not but a lot. If anything happened in D3 this weekend, it’s the Wolfpack showing they belong in the mix.


This Week’s Games:


All We Do Is Quinn vs Frodo Swaggins (+3) – An early battle for D3 supremacy as two 2-0 teams look to knock each other off. These two have been at the top of the division for a while, and though both are perennial favorites to win the title, neither can ever do it. Some of the roster is different, but this is going to be a good game. Look for Frodo to continue being hot here and hit a slight upset. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4


Matty’s Angels vs Vaspian (+9) – Vaspian is still just figuring it out. I think I say that weekly, but it’s the truth. The Angels are just not the team to ever want to go up against. They boast fantastic play calling and they have stars at every position. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 12


Top Shot vs Wolfpack (+10) – Top Shot is good. I also decided they should have two words in their team name because “TopShot” as one word looks ridiculous Blasé. Come on. I just said the Wolfpack is showing they belong. I’m going to continue to ride that train. 10 points feels crazy to me. Top Shot wins, but don’t cover. TOP SHOT BY 3


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs The Untouchaballs (+5) – This is a matchup of two teams both needing a win pretty badly. Grey Hair was off last week after losing a female to injury, but they’ve been around the league long enough to know how to make sure that that doesn’t hurt them. They have the edge on the Untouchaballs in the “football knowledge” department, and I think we’ll see them use that to their advantage. Contain Sticky Hands Blonde Girl and you’ll win. GREY HAIR BY 10


Top Shot vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+3) – I don’t like this line at all. You’re talking about a top D3 team playing a 6thish best team in the league. On their second game for each. TOP SHOT BY 9




Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 41, Practice Squad 13

Freeballers 30, Woodpeckers 0

Cunning Stunts 43, Freeballers 19

TOX 33, Not So Sticky 12

Itches and Ohs 39, Jabronies 37



               Let’s just go to the big one. Welcome to D4 Woodpeckers! The Freeballers were more than up to the challenge and dominated this game. Multiple Peckers were heard complaining about their QB, who I hear was none too happy with Topper. Of course, stacking your D6 roster is shady, so it’ll be hard for anyone to really shed any tears here. I feel for the rest of the Peckers, and I mean, rosters don’t close until noon, so maybe there’s an FA QB out there? Kind of like B and Practice Squad last season? Buffalo Vice is looking good on and off the field. It was a pretty easy day for the Vice, as they’re now the measuring stick of D4, which isn’t great new for Practice Squad. There’s always a learning curve for teams moving up though. The Stunts just did what they do best, but this time they did it with Jordan Lawson at QB. Props to him for quickly becoming a household TSL name, as the Stunts made the Freeballers look more like themselves this time around. TOX just beat up on Not So Sticky as Rags had to QB, and historically that just isn’t a good thing. And Steve Moser goes to 2-0 with his patchwork squad that has some dominant girls. But my goodness it was good to hear about Joe Miano slinging it on the fields once again. He’s come a long way since he first started.


This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Vice vs Itches and Ohs (+9) – As good as the season has started for Itches, they’re going to run into a hell of a test this week. Vice has been looking real nice, which FINALLY prompted Dan Gonzalez to email me this season. What he said was that Vice isn’t really doing anything different this season. They’re just getting better at what it is they do. They’ll show that again this week. BUFFALO VICE BY 17


Jabronies vs TOX (+2) – I’m not entirely sure how this line came about (Don’t blame me, blame the Committee) but I don’t think we’ve seen enough of the Jabronies to really call them favored over TOX. TOX has played some good football so far this season, while we still have to figure out who the Jabronies are this year. Maybe they’ll show us here. TOX BY 8


Cunning Stunts vs Woodpeckers (+3) – One team lost to Freeballers by 30, the other beat them by 24. On paper, most people would be worried for the Stunts, but they’ve been kicking some butt this season. They know exactly how to play this game, and I have a feeling they’re going to pull this one out too. Of course, if one of the 6’5 gentlemen rush Joey Batts, that’s a 2 foot height advantage, and that could disrupt things for the girls. Could be interesting! WOODPECKERS BY 7




Cobblestone vs Not So Sticky (+2) – That’s more like it. The evil genius Jeff Krol’s side project (See: Sticky Bandits, but in different positions and they don’t get beat up like in D1) has had some ups and downs so far, but they’re having a really good time. Cobblestone is here to ruin that good time. Give me all the Carrs. And Darryl’s hair. COBBLESTONE BY 17




Last Week’s Games:

Puckett All-Stars 33, University Wealth Management 12

Zack Attack 21, Breast Friends 16

Show Me Dem TDs 55, University Wealth Management 24

Breast Friends 21, The Bambs 0 (Forfeit)

ILF 46, Show Me Dem TDs 24

Zack Attack 22, ILF 13


               Zack Attack went 2-0 on a very big day for D5, and they staked their claim as the best team in D5. In fact, the Attack is the #1 ranked team overall in the TSL by the weird Topper Standings Metrics. And for a good reason! They’re 3-0 overall, and they’ve defeated Breast Friends, ILF, and Show Me Dem TDs, so they haven’t had an easy schedule. Puckett All-Stars got one in the win column with a nice and steady win against UWM. UWM would also go on to lose to Show Me, which doesn’t come as a surprise as they’re just treading water until national hero Scott Keller Sr finally steps onto the field to lead them to multiple victories. Show Me would then proceed to lose to ILF, who again would lose to Zack Attack, thus completing the D5 doubleheader Circle of Life.


This Week’s Games:


The Bambs vs University Wealth Management (+8) – While it was lame to see The Bambs forfeit last week, I hope we don’t see more of the same here. This is a good opportunity for them to notch their first D5 win of the season, and I can’t imagine UWM being able to stop the tall, gazelle-like wide receivers sitting across from them. THE BAMBS BY 9


Wasted Potential vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – Wasted Potential is a dark horse candidate to take this D5 title, and they’re the best team nobody is talking about…yet. Coach Jay has a shot at D5 QB of the Year if things go well, and I really feel a “coming out” party of sorts for them this week. Show Me has been up and down so far, and that’s going to be the norm for them as they still try to get a system down that isn’t “Throw really far to Chris Nelson”. Timmy Z is a great QB in his own right, and Jon Senn has a lot of talent to work with. It’s just doing it the right way. They’ll get better as the season goes on too. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 4


Zack Attack vs Puckett All-Stars (+8) – It’s Zack Attack’s year, I can feel it. Puckett is still a very, very good team who will beat you if you underestimate them, but right now all signs are pointing to Zack Attack being quite focused and playing very good defense. ZACK ATTACK BY 10


Breast Friends vs International Lightning Falcons (+4) – This is another Game of the Day potentially here. The newest gender team taking on an up and coming ILF, who have finally started to get their stuff together after an up and down opening season. Andrew Kicak is the current odds on favorite to win Most Underrated Male. He always seems to get overshadowed by, at minimum, one Baker no matter what team he plays on. He usually makes a difference though, especially on defense. Look for him to make the game changing play this week. ILF BY 2




Last Week’s Games:

Graves Bros 34, TMA 31

Tater Tots 38, Blitzkrieg 6

Spinelli’s Plumbing 23, Blitzkrieg 20

Tater Tots 20, Travis Henry’s Kids 19

The BiPolar Express 26, Juiced 14

Lenny’s Ladies 34, Victorious Secret 33


               There were a LOT of good games in D6 last week. We started off with a back and forth championship preview with TMA and Graves going back and forth with Graves taking the win on the final drive of the game. TMA officially added Johnny Dio to the roster, which can only mean they’re seriously considering making the change at QB a permanent thing. Its like a Bledsoe/Brady thing, and look how that worked out for New England. Blitzkrieg, what the heck? You’re making me look silly for believing in you guys so much. An 0-2 day is not the way to go, as the Tots whooped up on BK, and then Spinelli’s took a close one from them. The Tots would then go on to beat THK in a very close game, and I really do think THK will have a say in who wins this division this season. BPX welcomed Juiced into D6 with another loss, as the “forgotten” gender team is still showing they can win this division too. And while it wasn’t quite Angels – Stunts, the Lenny’s Ladies – Victorious Secret game was my most “messaged” about game. I’m sure it had NOTHING to do with it being 3:30 and most of the texts/emails I got were from tipsy people but this one was a great one to hear about. I love when our females have big games against each other.


This Week’s Games:


Tater Tots vs Victorious Secret (+8) – The Tots get to play one of our gender teams this week, and in the past they’ve fared pretty well against them. The Tots are still coming into their own as a team, but they know how to exploit their matchups on offense. Look for “Throw it to the tall guy” to be their go to to get them out of trouble. VS has a lot of talent and they’re still adjusting to the TSL game, which is okay. Anna Lawson is a real baller out there, and everyone loves Trish Esposito. I’m looking forward to one day hearing about more of the VS girls. This one is a tough game though. TATER TOTS BY 13


Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+2) – There was a little rivalry here last season, as these two teams traded some wins along the way. BK could really use a big win to right the ship as it seems things aren’t going as well as they were before. Is Alex throwing? Is he still hurt? So many questions that COULD BE ANSWERED WITH AN EMAIL TO THE GODFATHER ALLIE OR ALEX. We had such great correspondence prior to this ghosting you’re giving me now. Shame. As much as everyone talks about Robin Makula, (as they should), the Ladies also trot out female superstars like Joy Thompson, Misty Himes, and Dr. Christine Krol. These ladies tend to get overshadowed by others on their normal teams, but here they’re really starting to shine. This will be a good one. BLITZKRIEG BY 4


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TMA (+7) – TMA is playing very well, and their 1-2 record just isn’t indicative of that. Johnny Dio, by all accounts, is properly using Val and Diana, and on top of that he throws the ball to Ferger. Brent scored a TD too! Losing to Graves and the Woodpeckers before they got moved up makes it seem like TMA isn’t doing well, but watchout for them this week. Spinelli’s is doing what they always do: Play very solid on the both sides of the ball, but they’re rarely dominant one way or they other. They’ll need to show me more as the season moves on. TMA BY 11


Graves Bros vs The BiPolar Express (+1) – These teams have had some really good games in the past, and I expect this one to be no different. Both teams are very smart, and its going to come down to who gets a case of the drops. While I do think BiPolar is going to make noise this season, as I always do, Graves does seem to be playing some of their best football currently. GRAVES BROS BY 3


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Juiced (+11) – Juiced is still figuring out the game overall, but hopefully they’re having fun doing it. THK is a veteran squad from elsewhere in the Social Co-Ed Football Universe, and they’re seemingly quite good. A bounce here or there last week and they’re 2-0 and on top of the division. Look for them to continue their early rise to TSL stardom, and hopefully they’ll reach out with an email so I can learn who they are as well. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 23




1. Will D1 ever be fun again? Cool, it’s Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown, and Tight Ends In Motion beating everyone else up. Again. It’s not their fault that nobody else is putting together a super team to compete here. It’ll get a lot more fun when Tight Ends wins D1 this season. Gives us something new to chat about.


2. WHERE IS B’S BROTHER??? Reports have told me our legend has yet to step foot on the fields this season, and that’s just tragic. He better be there for the Rameer Celebration on 6/5.


3. Will the podcast ever have good sound again? I love that we have the podcast back, and I still listened to all ALMOST TWO HOURS OF IT WTF JOE K this week, but the sound quality hasn’t been great. I know it’s different from being inside the professional studio, but still, we should have higher standards here.


4. Who are the most surprising teams this season so far? Zack Attack, Losing Streak, the new Eyes Downtown, to me, have been the best “I wasn’t sure how good they were going to be but they nailed it” teams so far this season.


5. Who needs a good showing this week to remind the TSL that they’re contenders? I think a lot of people have forgotten just how good Slytherin That Endzone can really be when they’re on their game. I also think Frodo can give the league a wake up call to remind them just how good they’ve been the last few seasons as well. I’d also like Blitzkrieg to start remembering who they are.





1. Not surprisingly, Breakfast Club was awesome this week, and all the reports I got were positive, save for some “similar jersey color” snafu. Picks this week: Robins Nest 42 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 38, Great White Clarkes 34 – Stone Cold Kellers 22, The EMIgoes 26 – Steph It Up A Notch 24, and Drive me Currazy 48 – Valkyries 31.


2. The Topper vs Travis Steak Dinner challenge continues: Travis won Week 2’s picks. This week, Topper selected: SITE (-4), Practice Squad (-1), and Wasted Potential (-3). Travis took AWDIQ (-3), Sticky Bandits (+7), and Spinellis (-7). I like Topper to win this week.


3. Remember, as always, to be safe on the fields. Wear sunscreen, hydrate (Trulys and White Claws do NOT count as water), wear your mask to and from the fields and at the bar, and just have fun.


4. Would you want to write a Godfather article with me? You could chime in with your own picks and thoughts on the games. Could be fun, could be lame. Email me, as always, at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


5. Same goes for the captains of the teams I don’t hear from a ton. Do I get stuff wrong about your squad? Yes? Then email me and set the record straight like so many others do every week. Help me, help you.


6. Let’s take a second to truly call out and appreciate Coach Jay. Not for his playing style, or his handsomeness. No. When we lost Rameer last year, Jay stepped up big time and took over the role of Head Director of Officiating. I think he’s done a fantastic job, and deserves to be recognized.


7. Hey, if you’re going to bring your cans and bottles to the fields (either water or from the bar) don’t be such a jerk and leave them on the ground. PICK UP AFTER YOURSELVES AND DON’T LEAVE THE FIELDS A MESS. Most people do, but there are some of you that just enjoy leaving your garbage lying around. Be better.


8. I think we need to see more pictures of dogs at the fields. Bones has been doing a great job holding down the “best TSL dogs” mantel, but he’s currently the only one that shows up regularly.


9. Did you know that there’s even more Thompsons in the league now? The youngest brother, Luke, is tearing up D2 now, and word is family patriarch Richard is not only playing in Breakfast Club but he’s uncoverable and always open. Just great genetics from top to bottom over there.


10. Yes, plans are being set in motion for the wine tournament this summer. Topper is supposed to be checking out the new fields very soon. More on this exciting news as it develops. Maybe we’ll have more than one summer tourney this year. Did someone say “random draw”?


That’s called a teaser folks. . .


The TSL season is in full swing! You’re doing great out there. Keep up the good work, and please be safe. Remember to sign up for the Telegram app so you can get the quickest updates for the league, and proceed to like us on Facebook, and Instagram. The more you’re plugged into the league, the less you’ll miss.


I’ll be in the cut. I think.



and so it begins

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 23 April 2021 10:17
Published: Friday, 23 April 2021 10:17
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 629


Ladies and Gentleman of the ever expanding TSL Universe, hello. Finally, a sense of normalcy comes to your friend The Godfather, as I get to do one of my favorite tasks in April: Write about the TSL! Last year was so weird, so different. I hope all of you navigated a crazy 2020 as safely as possible. I woke up with excitement knowing I’d be able to talk about the absolute greatest social co-ed football league in the world. And the first thing I did was check the weather in Buffalo. And man, did that excitement die down.


I’m kidding. But snow during opening week of the TSL after some nice weather not too long ago is more than likely Lenny’s way of “having a laugh”. The weather isn’t that much better here in Des Moines, so I can’t even gloat. But what I CAN gloat about is how spectacular this league has become.


You see, on Saturday, April 24th, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, SIXTY TSL franchises across 7 divisions will begin the race for social co-ed football immortality. Sixty teams is incredible! Not only do we have our usual litany of returning teams, but we’ve added a bunch of new blood as well! Some of the area’s greatest teams and players that have yet to step foot on the hallowed fields at the Rose Garden finally realized what we’ve been saying all along – The TSL is the place to be when it comes to an awesome football Saturday experience!


Of course, along with the fact that there’s a ton of new people, that means I definitely won’t know a bunch of you. With that, allow me to formally introduce myself. I am The Godfather of the TSL. I’ve been writing a weekly article for the football league that I love for forever at this point. I used to play in the league but work and life sent me away to move to my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. For quite some time I could only talk to people through fax. My advisors from the fields give me a lot of information but they can’t get to everyone. It’s impossible! So please, take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to talk to me about your team and your players! If you want publicity, this is one sure fire way to get it done!


Thank you for joining our Topper Sports family here. You’ll be wonderfully taken care of, I know it. And as to those who have been through my schtick a thousand times by now, welcome back! Before we really get into what you’re all here for (Championship Odds and Game Predictions, of course), let’s just have a quick refresher course:


All of the COVID-19 protocols from the #TSL2020 season are in effect once again this season. We don’t want the state to come in and try to shut us down again so we’re adhering to the action plan they gave us until we get the green light to make any changes. Topper worked so hard to get us a league to play in last season when nobody else would, so let’s continue to make sure his work doesn’t go waste. I know it sucks, but it’s the way things have to be for now. Bring your masks, sign into the app to check in at the gate, and please use the proper entrance and exits to the fields. Thanks guys! We knocked it out of the park last year, let’s do it again!

With that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff:




Championship Odds:

Public Enemy (2-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (10-1)

Why So Serious? (18-1)

Sticky Bandits (25-1)

Sloppy Seconds (30-1)


D1 this season is really shaping up to be a two-horse race this time around. As usual, at the top, is Public Enemy, one of the TSL’s greatest franchises waiting to be knocked off the mountain. They bring along the usual suspects, Chris Cole at QB, MVP Boccio, Cheryl and Heather etc. You know this team. Their only real battle anymore is the battle with Father Time. There’s more salt than pepper in Cole’s beard, and the ticking clock that’s chasing them down is starting to get a little louder. Looking to dethrone PE is Tight Ends In Motion. TEIM was an eyelash away from winning the D1 championship last season before blowing it in spectacular fashion. TEIM has one thing going for them though: They’re healthy now. Last season, they lost Emily Curry early to an injury and “Porkchop” Katie Salisbury took the year off. Now they’re back and adding “injury replacement but ended up being a superstar” Robin Makula to the mix gives Tight Ends the absolute best group of females in the league. Bro is back at QB for good, as he won the job after how well the team performed around him after last year’s 0-4 start. Eyes Downtown was a mess last season, and after finishing 5th in the division (despite a hell of a playoff game against PE) it seems Bobby has cut the entire roster and is just starting from scratch. There’s a lot of new names on this roster, so it’ll be fun to see just how they mesh on the field. Why So Serious finds themselves in an interesting spot. They really came on at the end of the year, and nobody in D1 improved as much as they did from start to finish in 2020 (Yes, even TEIM). If they can still ride the momentum they found when Pete stepped away from the QB spot and handed the ball to Terrell Bolden, they can beat any team in this division. Yeah that’s right! You’re seeing “Sticky Bandits” in D1. Props to Jeff Krol and company for not only winning D2 as a 6 seed last season, they still went the honorable route and followed the unspoken rule on “If you win you division you move up the next year”. However, that was with Dave Baker. The sporting world’s biggest decision since LeBron took his talents to South Beach lasted most of the offseason, where Baker stabbed Sticky in the heart and stuck with Tight Ends In Motion. I mean, seems like a poor move since Sticky won their championship and TEIM blew a 20 point lead with 11 minutes to go. Joking aside, Baker was put in a real Sophie’s Choice situation and I don’t envy that. On the plus side, Sticky will be okay. Their replacement for Dave Baker is essentially what you would get if you made a Captain America Super Solider Serum out of Baker’s DNA and put it in an athletic, youthful body: Dean Thompson. Dean can make up for the loss of Baker, and he’s smart enough to be able to figure out the Sticky system they’ve cultivated for 100 years quickly. Even so, at the end of the day, Sticky was only the 6th seed in D2 last season. I can’t imagine a miracle run for the title happening. And last but not least, we have Sloppy Seconds. Great team name when you consider that this is Alex Buchlis’ new D1 team. Alex, for those who don’t know, used to be the QB for Sticky Bandits, and he was the TEIM QB before he got hurt last season, resulting in the Bledsoe – Brady situation TEIM found themselves in. I don’t know much about who is on Alex’s roster yet, but if it’s a bunch of players who have been “forgotten” by other rosters out there as is rumored, it could be a nice mix of talent!


**For the new people out there**

               Last season, I was actually asked about what the numbers mean for the lines, and I realized not everyone in the league is a degenerate gambler, just most of them. So when I do my picks for the league week, you’ll see the following: Team A (-4) vs Team B or sometimes Team C vs Team D (+7). What this means is that Team A is getting 4 points taken away from them to “even out” the game. Essentially, A is expected to beat B by 4 or more points. Team C vs Team D is the same thing the opposite way. In this case, Team D would be getting 7 points added to their score, meaning Team C is expected to win by 7 or more. No, these numbers do not actually get added/subtracted to the score in the real game, but for the purposes of picking winners, it’s a way to make the games more even, and thus harder to pick. As you’ll see in a second, when I say TEAM A BY 3 or TEAM C by 10, I’m saying that “I think Team A will win the game by 3 points (And not cover the 4 point spread)” or “Team C will win by 10 points (thus covering the point spread by 3 points).


Okay, I probably just made this harder on some of you. ON TO THE GAMES…


This Week’s Games:


Not much excitement in D1 this week honestly. It seems like the Top 3 teams are all going to be playing the bottom 3 teams, which makes for a boring day of football. Wow Topper. 17 hours over 3 days to do the schedule and this is how you start D1?


Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+14) – At the very least, we get the Dave Baker “Which Team Was He Catfishing All Offseason?” Bowl. Tight Ends vs Sticky has been a long time coming, but in this current iteration of both teams, it won’t have quite the excitement we want. Welcome to D1, Sticky. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 20.


Public Enemy vs Sloppy Seconds (+27) – The defending D1 champs against, well, I don’t really know yet. Public Enemy gets a really fun tune up game for the season. Sloppy will have to wait a week before their season really begins. But hey, it’ll be fun to practice, right? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 24


Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+15) – I think the 15 points is a little too high here. Eyes Downtown is revamped, even though there have been reports of Bobby putting the team through intense offseason training workouts to get to know each other better. But practice doesn’t equate to games. WSS deserves more credit than that. I think it’s going to be a close one here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3.




Championship Odds:

Everyone (10-1)


I’m almost serious here, as the TSL’s most exciting division just got even better this season. The teams from top to bottom are as close as they can be, and finding some favorites just feels insane. But here are the real numbers:


Peachy Platoon (4-1)

A&A (6-1)

#XTC (6-1)

Passed Our Prime (7-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Slytherin That End Zone (10-1)

When Dove Cries (16-1)

Losing Streak (18-1)

Scared Hitless (18-1)

Mountain Dew Me (19-1)


               But even then, this is still a hard division to call here. Peachy Platoon comes in as preseason favorites after a not so great season for one very good reason: Dean Thompson has returned to QB. Dean is a spectacular athlete, and not having him showed how rough a season can be for the Platoon. The revenge tour (if this team is even capable of revenge, they’re SO nice) begins this Saturday. Speaking of returning QBs, Matty Ice is making is return to the fields after a year off to perfect his video game career. But A&A will look a bit different this season, as Travis has made his yearly “I cant stay on one team too long” switch to another franchise, bringing Val with him of course. A&A should be quite competitive this year. And if you’re the Dilfs, what do you do when Travis breaks up with you and leaves you for someone else? Well, you go back to your roots, become XTC again, and get two players better than Travis anyway in the returning Joe Russell and Eric Flynn. XTC looks to be very good this season, it’s a shame they didn’t go battle in D1. Passed Our Prime had a heck of a showing in the TSL Indoor league this winter, finishing with the top record and going toe to toe with a lot of the TSL’s best players. They fell short of a championship there, but they got infinitely better by bringing along our old friend Bloomfield. Derrick (Darrick?) is a human highlight reel and is probably too good to be in D2, but here we are. Bullet Club spent their offseason spending lots of money in free agency. The roster looks to be revamped as they signed Rawdog away from Quinn and added Steph Czaja to the female side of things. Of course, they tried the 5 girls on the roster thing before and it blew up in their faces, so here’s hoping they figured it out this time around. But most importantly, BC added Scotty Drosendahl to be the QB this season. Scotty has always had the talent to be one of the league’s best, and now he finally has the supporting cast to get him there. SITE finally had that breakout season they’ve been waiting for. They’re not NOT in the “favorites” to win the title this season, and they only reason they’re ranked lower than maybe they should be is that they didn’t really add anyone this season. Except I noticed Seth on their roster, so if Bad Newman comes to play, perhaps they already have his replacement ready at QB. When Dove Cries is Topper’s entrant into the TSL world this season. Hofbrauhaus finally opens and takes away their sponsorship. Weird. Anyway, WDC returns a lot of talent that they were missing due to injury and/or opting out from COVID, which will immediately get them back on the right track. As usual, this team lives and dies by the arm of Topper, who was recently seen looking for bionic arms in order to extend his career by 20 years. Losing Streak comes to us this season, as Jordan Lawson had so much fun reffing our games last year that he just HAD to be a part of it. Jordan is a smart QB, and there are some names that I vaguely recognize on his squad (and one that I know, Chris Nelson) which means if this team can adjust to the TSL style of play quickly, we’re looking at a really good bet at 18-1 here. Scared Hitless did in one season what All We Do Is Quinn couldn’t in ten years: win D3, and as a result, they moved up like the heroes they are. Adding free agents isn’t a problem here either as Brandon Farr has added his childhood hero, his brother Jeff, to the squad. That makes an already impressive team that much more impressive. There may still be a learning curve though, and questions about if Dylan can play D2 seamlessly are there. Finally, we come to Mountain Dew Me. The various Swedish clones demolished D5 last season and decided to jump up to D2. Mind you, this is the team that got smacked in D4 the year before. But there’s one little, tiny, short difference: Joey Batts. The MDM FA signing of both Battaglias (Jill and Joey that is) AND Glasses can only mean great things, but I don’t know if it’s enough for a three division jump.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs Slytherin That End Zone (+3) – The brand new A&A hasn’t really played a game together yet, where as SITE is still largely the same group. Watch for SITE to capitalize on a few A&A mistakes, or, “growing pains” here. SITE BY 6


When Dove Cries vs Scared Hitless (+4) – Another Grade A matchup from D2. The QBs are about even, and while the males players on Scared Hitless are more athletic, the males on WDC are smarter (No, Topper isn’t included here). This game will come down to the ladies. If Joey is now a consistent part of the roster to go along with Jaimie, Carly, and Cat, Hitless may boast the best girl squad in D2. But, Kelly and the Clarkes are no slouches either. SCARED HITLESS BY 1.


Peachy Platoon vs Losing Streak (+5) – Team brand new to the TSL vs one of the most dominant teams in recent memory that just got the band back together? Leseaon scores twice here. Don’t forget about him. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13.


Bullet Club vs Passed Our Prime (+4) – I was informed by the TSLQBRC (who makes the lines for us don’t forget) that POP may be without their QB for the first week, hence the line being a little screwy based off preseason projections. It’s hard to win a game without your QB, and Bullet Club has been the posterchild of that scenario for years now. BULLET CLUB BY 8


#XTC vs Mountain Dew Me (+13) – I really hate harping on MDM because they DID add Joey, but until proven otherwise, a three division jump still feels too high so quickly. I hope Joe Russell wears the Ultimate Warrior tassels. Please send a pic if he does. XTC BY 8





Championship Odds:


All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Matty’s Angels (5-1)

Top Shot (6-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (8-1)

Frodo Swaggins (10-1)

Wolfpack (20-1)

Vaspian (22-1)


               D3 finds itself in a very weird place this season. The teams that have been here really didn't get much improved, and most, if anything, got worse in some places. Meanwhile the new kids on the block to D3 really are the ones that could make some noise. All We Do Is Quinn finds themselves at the top of the odds rankings heading into the season, while they don't seem to have added much to the team, honestly, they didn't have to. Yes, they lost Rawdin to D2, but that loss won't hurt nearly as much as the loss of Cat Peters the year before. Quinn always seems to have another ginger man ready to step in. The good news for Quinn is that thier biggest problems from last year: Scared Hitless and Frodo Swaggins are either gone or got worse. But there are other, new problems for them this season. Matty's Angels is one of them. This team of bad ass women ran roughshod over D4 for too long now, and finally, with Matty back in the fold, the best gender team in the history of the TSL (yeah Cole, i said it) takes thier talents to D3 to finally look for some competition. Ironically, they find it in the form of old nemesis Blase LaDuca, who brings TopShot to the league this season. From what i've been told by the powers that be, Blase attempted to put in a team of D1 players and himself and pass it off as a D3 team. While yes, he brings them down, that wasn't going to happen. However, Blase does have himself a promising QB in Dylan Jaloza and even with a "toned down" roster, they still sport D1 newcomer (And potential rookie of the year candidate) Adrian Cannon and the poster child for a super good talent playing in divisions he's way too good for in Chris Nelson (Seriously, they named an award after him). This team is going to be a tough out, it just depends how long it takes them to put it all together. Grey Hair Don't Care slots in right behind them, and while this team doesn't have many roster changes it seems, they don't need it. This team has been playing together all off season as they perfect thier craft, and they'll be in every single game they play. The Untouchaballs come back, and I still don't know who any of them are. They can score, but they can't stop anyone. If they make even some slight improvements on defense, they become an instant sleeper team. Frodo Swaggins is a bit of a changeover this season. With Scotty Dro gone, Garrett becomes the full time QB. This is good and bad. The good is that Garrett isn't too bad of a QB, especially with reps. The bad is that the team loses him and his suspect hands on offense, unless he's learned the Mr. Perfect 100 yard throw and catch to himself. This team has a returning Josh and Kristen, and Emily Schilling makes her "i'm not hurt anymore" return as well, plus Nick and Tammy are always good for every game they play. Things aren't completely hopeless, don't get me wrong, its just needing to gel as a team in a different way. Up next, the TSL's long standing "it" couple of JZ and Garbacz have entered a team, which you just know one thing: It's going to be full of handsome men. (oh hello Russ Santucci and Ward Blewitt. I told you.) This team has a lot of potential, so its going to be quite interesting to see how everything meshes. Having Dorene, Liz Farley, and Parker on the team definitely helps too. Finally, Vaspian comes up in the rear. I love everything about this team, but somehow they've stagnated in their growth it seems. I'm really hoping to see them take the next step to being competitive this season! 


This Week’s Games:


All We Do Is Quinn vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+9) – AWDIQ has a nice matchup to start the season and shake some rust off. Grey Hair already has their rust shaken off, as I said earlier, but I don’t think they simply have the horses to run with Quinn. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 6


Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+16) – This game is going to score a million points. Both teams have dynamic offenses, and there’s ZERO way Matty isn’t going to try to break 100 points in this one. This one will come down to who has the football last. MATTYS ANGELS BY 8


Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+10) – Well, this is a nice way for Frodo to ease into their new era. Catching a team that can’t play defense on their second straight game. Frodo is going to win by a decent amount and I’ll be getting an email from Garrett about it by Saturday night. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17


Frodo Swaggins vs Wolfpack (+7) – Same goes for Wolfpack here. They’ll be catching Frodo on their second game. The issue here, of course, is that the Pack hasn’t played a game together just yet. It’ll be a nice gender battle on top of things, and this might be the game of the day in D3. WOLFPACK BY 2


Top Shot vs Vaspian (+13) – Top Shot gets an easier entrance into the TSL with a game against Vaspian. I feel like I’m being too harsh on Vaspian. They’re a group of awesome people who can definitely hang with the league. It’s just that they’ve been inconsistent so far, and Top Shot has a pretty nice roster who can play. TOP SHOT BY 10




Championship Odds:


Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Practice Squad (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (5-1)

Jabronies (12-1)

TOX (12-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Cobblestone (15-1)

Itches and Ohs (18-1)

Juiced (20-1)

Freeballers (50-1)


               D4 looks to be a slobberknocker at the top for sure. After a few seasons with a 6-team D4, we find ourselves with a 10 team division that has a lot of questions marks, but a lot of potential too. Let’s get it out of the way now, as much as it may irk Dan Gonzalez and the rest of Buffalo Vice, The Cunning Stunts are the preseason queens of the division. Last season doesn’t even count, as the Stunts were missing some of there stars who opted out from playing. They’re all back, and then some. The Stunts should be a machine again, and with their mortal enemies in Matty’s Angels not around anymore, they have a clear path to the title. Practice Squad might be getting slightly too much hype in their odds, but they dominated D5 last season once B stepped in behind center. They even nearly beat the MDM buzzsaw. Meanwhile ever other team save for Buffalo Vice has questions. It’ll be fun watching this unfold. Speaking of Buffalo Vice, they trot out nearly the same team that dominated D4 for most of the season. Andy Clark is back to throw the ball a million yards, and Brett Cole is back to lead the defense into battle. They boast a better than you might think group of females as well. If they were ever overdue to have a big season and win the title, this is it. The Jabronies find themselves without an identity. It seems like a lot of the former players all didn’t commit and now Joe Miano is QBing a mostly different, somewhat patchwork squad. But, he’s developed well as a QB, and he did manage to grab Alex Baker to play as well. If they can get the cards aligned, anything is possible. TOX decided that going nearly winless in D5 meant they should go to D4. Lucky for them, they added Aaron Balcerzak and the Tommy Hughes nobody likes to join the most honorable prophet Dave Walter to form a pretty good crew for Topper to throw to. This team will live and die every week with how well their girls play. Leslie rocks for sure, but the rest – Raena, Jenna, and Amanda all have talent and potential, but they’re still working out the bugs at times. Not So Sticky is a Jeff Krol creation, thrown together at apparently the last minute. Ricky Recckio isn’t great at catching the ball for Sticky Bandits so let’s see how he does throwing it. Krol hasn’t submitted a roster yet it seems, so I don’t know who else he signed to the team just yet. But I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun individuals. Cobblestone had a great #TSL2020 season, I think they were 6-2-1, losing only to Practice Squad and MDM, which everyone else did too. Darryl and company are looking to build on that success and this is a team that can very well compete. I also see that they signed the Lattucas, so I’m looking forward to seeing Sam (fine, and Anthony too, I guess) back on the field. Itches and Ohs was Family Feud last season. At least part of them were. It seems FF split into Ohs and Juiced. Itches has a lot of good players, namely all of the Mosers, Streeters, and Streits. Juiced has a bunch of people I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to hearing more about them. Finally, last year’s duds, 40 year plan guy’s Freeballers. Yeah, the 50-1 odds were just for the joke, and in reality this team has some talent with Anthony Deak and George Lombardo. Unless George is throwing for them again. Regardless, they also roster the TSL’s favorite ray of sunshine in Trish Esposito, who leads an underrated group of girls.


This Week’s Games:


TOX vs Itches and Ohs (+8) – TOX looked like they were coming along in the indoor session, and they’ve been playing together for a bit now. Meanwhile I don’t know if Ohs have ever played a game together yet. So yeah, let’s go with the golden arm of Topper here. TOX BY 18


Buffalo Vice vs Cunning Stunts (+3) – This is a top notch Week 1 showdown for sure. A probable championship preview. Both teams know each other well and this one could go either way. But, I like that instead of using “Solar Solutions” they’re called “Vice” now. Makes me think about Don Johnson. Anyone under 25 can google that. BUFFALO VICE BY 4


Not So Sticky vs Juiced (+1) – I know that the people playing with NSS know how to play football. I have no idea if anyone on Juiced does. NOT SO STICKY BY 7


Practice Squad vs Jabronies (+5) – A well oiled machine vs a team put together with a lot of spare parts, tape, and glue. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14




Championship Odds:

Show Me Dem TDs (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-1)

Breast Friends (8-1)

Wasted Potential (10-1)

Puckett All-Stars (10-1)

The Bambs 2.0 (11-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

University Wealth Management (15-1)


               D5 could be anyone’s game. Show Me Dem TDs is what used to be Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, which is a complete downgrade in a team name. Yes, the roster took a few hits but Jon Senn still has Timmy Z throwing the rock and Jackee Thompson there catching it. I don’t see too much of a difference here, save for the loss of Chris Nelson. ILF has Dave Baker playing QB for them, and there’s nothing more satisfying than a man playing ball with his son. This team should make some waves this year. Breast Friends is one of our new gender teams this season, as Travis has decided to get back in the gender game. They boast quite a few of the talented ladies from this league, and does my eye spy the return of Hollie Speroni? I hope so! Wasted Potential is better known as the Passless Chaps, and its great to have that good group of people back in the league. Coach Jay will be back as the QB, and this is a team that really kicked it up a notch when he first took over. Puckett All-Stars is back too! They’re in a lower division this time around, but its always awesome to see them back. They’re incredibly underrated but they know what they do best and how to win football games. The Bambs moved up after their D6 championship last season, and it’ll be nice to see how they play against stiffer competition. Derek Sekuterski returns and he’ll look to repeat his awesome season last year. Zack Attack is back yet again, and they may as well be a gender team as they roster seven women! That, I think, is the most of any non gender team. Finally UWM is Team Keller! I don’t know where this name came from but JUST BE 3RD AND SCHLONG! I can’t wait to see Scotty Sr.’s golden arm back on the field asap!


This Week’s Games:


Puckett All-Stars vs Breast Friends (+6) – A veteran team versus a newly formed gender team full of veterans. This game hinges on how well the girls can get their defense figured out. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3


Wasted Potential vs University Wealth Management (+15) – I’m already sick of typing out all of UWM’s name. I don’t think 15 points is a fair line. This game is going to be very close, but in the end I’m going to take Coach Jay and bet on the better QB. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 6


Wasted Potential vs Breast Friends (+4) – The second game for both of these teams means they’ll have had some time to figure things out on both sides. A Coach Jay vs Travis QB battle is nice too. I think the Ladies will pull this one out here. BREAST FRIENDS BY 8


Zack Attack vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – I really like how Zack Attack is getting better every season. I think they’ve improved consistently since starting in the league and this season should be no different. However, Show Me might be slightly ahead of where they’re at here. SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 3


ILF vs The Bambs 2.0 (+10) -  Regardless from what I’ve said above, im not sure ILF should be a ten point favorite just like that. I know the Bambs are looking to make their mark as well. Call this one a slight upset. THE BAMBS BY 4




Championship Odds:


Graves Bros (3-1)

Tater Tots (5-1)

Blitzkrieg (7-1)

TMA (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (12-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (13-1)

Victorious Secret (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (15-1)

WoodPeckers (18-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (20-1)


               Graves Bros lead D6, just like they did last year. The Steve Miller Band is back to right the wrongs of last season and take the D6 title. The Tator Tots had such a great season where things really came together for them. I can only imagine them improving even more this season, and really competing for the title. Dave Marcus has put together a nice team there. Blitzkrieg was on the verge of really being a contender last season before the unfortunate injury to QB Alex. But it seems the gang is all back, including stand out Allie Metzger, Ethan, and of course, Light Red Hoodie Guy, who I expect should wear the hoodie even in the summer. He can cut the sleeves off or something. TMA is back with pretty much the same roster as before, although I believe “Tall Nick” will be available for the whole season. That’s a big win. Hopefully another season of continuity will help them finally get over the hump that they’ve been trying to get over for what feels like forever. Clearly, they need to use Diana more. The BiPolar Express is back, and of the THREE gender teams D6 has to offer, they’ve been around the longest in the TSL. Gordon has a great football mind, and it’ll be nice to finally see them put it all together. Spinelli’s Plumbing was PC Plumbing. I’m pretty sure they’ll be rocking a similar roster to the last few seasons, which found them in the middle of the pack. Victorious Secret is a brand new gender team lead by Jordan Lawson. He brought a lot of new ladies to the league (don’t be creeps, gentlemen) and I’m excited to see what they can do here. Lenny’s Ladies makes their return, and while the roster seems to have gone through a few changes they get Joe K back from injury this year. They boast some talented ladies themselves with Robin Makula and Jaimie Warren, two women who won MVPs in their divisions if I remember correctly. The WoodPeckers are the Pteratacos to a degree. Not sure why they went with this name, but its whatever. It’ll be interesting to see how they fare moving down to D6. Finally, we have another brand new team in Travis Henry’s Kids. A team I know nothing about but would love to learn more about where they’re from and who they are.


This Week’s Games:


Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+4) – The line makers do *not* agree with the Championship Odds here! Or else they know more about the Secret than others do in the TSL. What I do know, however, is that Light Red Hoodie Guy is a stud and he’s *not* on Victorious Secret. As a result, I have to go with my gut here. BLITZKRIEG BY 10


Lenny’s Ladies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+1) – The Joe K debut for his Ladies team gets off to a start against a team completely unknown by TSL standards. I don’t fully know what to expect here at all from either side, so let’s just bet on the unknown! TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 7


Graves Bros vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+5) – Graves Bros are very, very good. Spinelli’s are kind of sort of average. I think Graves Bros are on a mission, and if they’re not, they should be. GRAVES BROS BY 10


Tater Tots vs The BiPolar Express (+7) – These teams can absolutely put on a show this week, and I think 7 points is a bit much. I’d expect a close contest, but in the end I think we’ll see the Tots pull it out late. TATER TOTS BY 3


TMA vs WoodPeckers (+3) – Will Prim vs Mark be our season’s first fight? The odds on that are pretty high. TMA is all about defense, and Mark’s Dad isn’t going to be able to move the ball against them, especially with a lot of rust on the 80 year old arm. TMA BY 12


Tater Tots vs TMA (+4) – This is a nice little rivalry game for Week 1. These teams know each other pretty well and they’ve played some intense games. I think at this point though, the Tots are a bit better. TATER TOTS BY 6





1. Who are the newest TSL superstars going to be? The league has added so many new players that it’s going to be so fun to see how stands out on and off the field!


2. How good will the “new” Eyes Downtown actually be? Let’s face it, if Bobby’s new roster can compete with the top teams in the division, D1 will be much more exciting.


3. How many more gender teams can we get? I think its awesome that we have six gender teams that will really show off how talented our females are. If you’re interested in playing, don’t be shy! Reach out! We have the potential to have 4 gender champions this year, and that’s actually realistic.


4. Who are the best long shots to win each division according to the odds? Eyes Downtown (10-1), Losing Streak (18-1), Frodo Swaggins (10-1), Freeballers (50-1), The Bambs (11-1), Victorious Secret (15-1).


5. Who do I think will win each championship? Tight Ends over Public Enemy, Peachy Platoon over Slytherin That End Zone, All We Do Is Quinn over Matty’s Angels, Buffalo Vice over Cunning Stunts, The Bambs over Show Me Dem TDs, and Graves Bros over TMA.





1. Again, make sure you follow proper protocols on and off the fields!


2. Here are the best matchups for every hour:

               10:00 – Sticky Bandits vs Tight Ends In Motion

               11:00 – Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs

               12:00 – Losing Streak vs Peachy Platoon

               1:00 – The Bambs vs ILF

               2:00 – XTC vs Mountain Dew Me

               3:00 – Tator Tots vs TMA


3. I can’t wait to see Breakfast Club results. It’s awesome that we have 8 teams this season, and its chock full of awesome players. It’s going to be a good one.


4. The weather looks like it’s going to be 63 degrees! They’ll be soft from the snow you guys got, but it’s shaping up to be a glorious day! Wear. Sunscreen.


5. It’s good to know that the TSL podcast is back! I listened to the first one and it got me ready for the season. If you want to be a guest on the podcast, you can email topper or talk to Joe K at the fields. They should really have an email address.


6. Speaking of email addresses, please, take a few minutes of your time and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know about your team and what I’m getting wrong. I love chatting with the TSLers since I can’t see them in person.


7. A special shout out here to Topper, Val, Travis, Joe K, Coach Jay, Emily, Jeff Krol, and everyone else that’s been going above and beyond for this league. It’s appreciated more than you guys know.


8. Will we FINALLY get the return of B’s Brother? It’s been far, far too long.


9. Mark your calendars for June 5th. That’s the Lenny and Rameer celebration day. Be there.


10. The TSL is BACK everyone! You’ve waited so long for this moment and while its not *quite* perfect, its still perfect. I’m excited for this season. There are so many more new storylines and people to get to know. Please, treat everyone with respect and be kind to each other. Have fun out there!


Ladies and Gentlemen, your Saturdays just got a million times better for the next few months. Enjoy them! I’ll be here, waiting to hear all about it.




Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 30 April 2021 14:35
Published: Friday, 30 April 2021 14:35
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 560



The race for Social Co-Ed football immortality began last Saturday, and by all accounts it was just about as perfect as possible. The mid-week snow didn’t affect the fields at all, the weather was perfect, and there were a lot of fantastic football games. Many brand new teams (to the TSL anyway) made their mark in a big way. Some good, some bad. But despite all of the positives, the things my field informants told me most about weren’t the best.  Shortly after 2:00, the texts and emails started coming in hot and heavy:


“Someone stacked a D6 team!”


“Man, you should see this new D6 team, they’re huge.”


“We’re going to have to do something about this.”


“Yeah, we’re calling them the Monstars from Space Jam, it’s ridiculous.”


And so on. So, from what I understand, the Pteratacos brain trust (and I’m using ‘brain’ VERY loosely here) asked to be moved to D6 from D5 last year. Topper accommodated the request, realizing that the team that has been like 4-14-1 the last couple of seasons with a QB that makes Scott Keller Sr. look young wasn’t going to waltz into D6 and hurt anyone. They rebranded themselves as the Woodpeckers, and that was that. Until of course, he realized that the roster full of names he didn’t know was a bunch of “6’5, super athletic dudes” who apparently all played some form of college football. And yeah, while D6 has some players who did that on other teams, they also did it like 25 years ago. Not like, at most, 25 months ago.


Now, to their credit, the players in question I guess sort of realized what was going on and from what I’ve heard were actually good guys. They didn’t know what was going on before the season happened. The issue comes with certain people stacking their roster and somehow thinking this was okay. No Mark, No Joe, that’s not how this works. Dummies. Anyway, the good news is that Topper got that team out of D6. Their options were to move to D4 (which still may be too low for them, but it’s the best Topper could do) or ‘here’s your money back, thanks for coming out’. Luckily, Juiced was nice enough to drop to D6 and I don’t have to write about how a team is getting +60 in a spread this week (Although some of these D1 lines are close.).


But moving on, the day was perfect, and the bar “really felt like a true Week 1”. It sounds like it was a great night, people had fun, and only the usual suspects got their signature sloppy drunk by 3pm but nobody caused a huge problem. Other than the bar asking that we do a better job of not piling 2-3 deep at the bar and being cognizant of your masks, things couldn’t have gone better.


Keep up the good work, TSL.


What will Week 2 bring us this week? Hopefully some more of the same great football! Let’s get into it.




Last Week’s Scores:

Tight Ends In Motion 38, Sticky Bandits 6

Public Enemy 32, Sloppy Seconds 19

Eyes Downtown 43, Why So Serious? 14


               It was a week chock full of the top teams in the division playing the bottom teams in the division. Every game went as planned. Dave Baker proceeded to murder his friends on Sticky in broad daylight after breaking the hearts of Sticky Nation this offseason with his departure. TEIM didn’t miss a beat it seems, and they’re as focused as ever on winning that first title. Public Enemy didn’t have much trouble with Sloppy Seconds, who looked good in their debut for a team that was put together without much practice together. A late touchdown made the score seem a smidge closer than it was though. And, I’m sorry everyone, but Bobby McConnell might be good again with the newest version of Eyes Downtown (I guess they got Lasik? Bad joke, I know.) as the New Batch waltzed all over Why So Serious and made D1 a three horse race, at least for a week.


This Week’s Games:

Public Enemy vs Sticky Bandits (+24) – Sticky wasn’t as bad as the score looked this week, to be fair. From what I heard they didn’t have much of an issue getting to the endzone, they just couldn’t punch it in. This week is different, as they have to try to get down the field against the two headed monster of Mike Boccio and Greg Osika. I just can’t imagine this going well for them. Perhaps they can talk to some of the WoodPeckers and see if they want to join? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 20


Tight Ends In Motion vs Why So Serious? (+21) – I refuse to believe WSS is dialing it back to when they weren’t very good in the beginning of last season, and last week they just needed to shake the cobwebs out. Tight Ends will more than likely run roughshod over them a bit, but 21 just feels like too many points! I expect 2 touchdowns out of Pete alone. I BELIEVE IN YOU PETER! But yeah, TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 17


Public Enemy vs Why So Serious? (+22) – Hell of a doubleheader for WSS as they get the top two teams in the division this week (and all 3 to start the season, yikes) but it can only get better from here! Right? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 18




Last Week’s Games:

A&A 36, Slytherin That End Zone 16

When Dove Cries 38, Scared Hitless 7

Losing Streak 39, Peachy Platoon 24

Bullet Club 46, Passed Our Prime 36

Mountain Dew Me 35, XTC 26


               QBs were the story of the day in D2 this week! Matty Ice made his return to the fields as the iconic QB single handedly turned SITE back into a pumpkin as he sliced and diced his way to a 20 point victory in his return. Speaking of QBs making returns, TOPPER IS BACK BABY! The ageless wonder was serving up TDs as his roster made it’s complete return and he welcome Scared Hitless into D2 with a thrashing. The league is just simply more fun when Topper is good, and well, it’s an odd numbered year so look out. Another returning QB, Dean Thompson, didn’t look nearly as good. Losing Streak proved they belonged in the TSL one of the leagues newest teams looked *very* good against a Peachy Platoon team favored to take the title. Bullet Club and their new QB Scotty Dro looked very good in their first game together, welcoming Passed Our Prime to the league with a loss. And finally, Mountain Dew Me scraped TSL has been Joey Batts off the free agent pile and their new QB thanked them with a nice victory to get a start on their D2 adventure.


This Week’s Games:


A&A vs XTC (+10) – A&A had a much better Week 1 than XTC did, but as we go into the “Travis Bowl” anything is still possible. I’m sure XTC has a little more of a chip on their shoulder because of it, and that makes me think we’re going to end up with a very good game. However, in the end, I think A&A is just a better team. A&A BY 7


Peachy Platoon vs When Dove Cries (+9) – Easy money alert. Right now, WDC is a much more complete team AND I’m getting 9 points? I’d consider betting real money on this, but then I’d realize I’m still betting on Topper and that’s terrifying so nevermind. I think WDC will struggle with PP’s speed a bit, and this game is a much better matchup for the Platoon. Peachy will win, but won’t cover. PEACHY PLATOON BY 6


Bullet Club vs Scared Hitless (+8) – A classic match up of two teams at opposite ends of the spectrum right now. BC is humming along with their newest members fitting right in, while Scared Hitless comes in a little rough from D3. It seems the SH QB isn’t quite seeing the field in D2 as well as he has in D3 just yet. I’m sorry Jonny Football, it isn’t personal, I swear. BULLET CLUB BY 10


Losing Streak vs When Dove Cries (+3) – Topper is getting points in both games this week, and for some reason he’s getting less points against the team that beat up on Peachy then he did against them. Weird lines, I’m telling you. Anyway, Jordan Lawson’s team was electric in their debut, and while I don’t know everyone on the team just yet, I do know that Chris Nelson is on the team and it’s great to see him finally playing “where he should be”. I don’t know if Team Topper can keep up here, but they do have the advantage on the female side of things. That could play into the final score. LOSING STREAK BY 8


Passed Our Prime vs Peachy Platoon (+1) – Passed Our Prime played a good game last week, but proceeded to fall a bit short. Last week they didn’t have much going for them outside of the play of Keyon Elias, who looked like a future superstar in this league according to multiple reports. POP also needs better play from their females. It’s going to be hard for them to keep up with Peachy, so they’ll have to try to outsmart them. I don’t see it happening, mainly because I need to see more from them. PEACHY PLATOON BY 12.




Last Week’s Scores:

All We Do Is Quinn 46, Grey Hair Don’t Care 17

Matty’s Angels 44, The Untouchaballs 25

Frodo Swaggins 37, The Untouchaballs 36

Frodo Swaggins 39, Wolfpack 17

TopShot 39, Vaspian 15


               All We Do Is Quinn did exactly what they always do in D3: announce to the world that *THIS* is their year. The truth is, they’re one of the TSL’s best regular season teams of all time. The harder truth is that they’re one of the TSL’s biggest playoff chokers of all time. Rough start for Grey Hair, and the unfortunate injury to one of their females can only make things worse. Matty’s Angels are in D3, but you wouldn’t know it. Getting Mr. Ice back behind center just means more points. The team looked a little off without him, but they didn’t miss a beat in his return. The Untouchaballs were exactly as advertised, they can score points, but the defense is just rough still. A bright spot for them as told to me by a lot of people was “Sticky Hands Blonde Chick Who Catches Everything”, apparently she was awesome. Someday, I’ll learn her name. Untouchaballs lost to Frodo in their second game by a single point. Frodo went 2-0 in the Garrett Era, getting two big wins over middle-lower D3 squads. After escaping Untouchaballs, they beat up on Wolfpack. Finally, the TopShot debut went as planned, as they just kind of walked all over Vaspian, although everyone kind of walks all over Vaspian.


This Week’s Games:


Wolfpack vs The Untouchaballs (+1) – I don’t understand this line at all. Right now, the Untouchaballs are a much better team than Wolfpack at this point, especially on offense. Wolfpack is new, there’s kinks to work out. The talent may be even, but one of them is much further ahead in chemistry. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 9


All We Do Is Quinn vs Vaspian (+25) – Vaspian is in one division too high. They’re trying to figure this football thing out but you don’t learn when you’re getting smacked around every game. This is a classic best team in the division versus the worst. I want to challenge Quinn to go out and beat this spread. I think they can do it. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 30




Last Week’s Games:

Itches And Ohs 32, TOX 31

Cunning Stunts 45, Buffalo Vice 39

Not So Sticky 42, Juiced 33


               Not a ton of games in D4 this week, as Practice Squad/Jabronies was postponed. Itches and Ohs looked very good for being shorthanded against TOX. Steve Moser threw the ball very well, and their girls are very good! TOX almost came back late after being down 15 points, but they went for a 2 point conversion to win the game at the end and didn’t get it. That’s awesome that they went for the win! Cunning Stunts and Buffalo Vice had an awesome game against each other. These two teams have a fun rivalry going and they always play close games. I had said this was a championship preview, but the injection of the WoodPeckers into the division messes that up a bit. Not So Sticky got a win over Juiced before they went down to D6, but both teams played a really fun, positive game. NSS looked pretty good out there to start their franchise.


This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (+7) – This is going to be a fun one. Practice Squad’s debut was moved back a week for D4, but there’s no doubt in my mind that they can hang in the division. This game will show just how close they’ll be to competing for the title. B vs Andy is a QB matchup for the ages. It’ll be close, but BUFFALO VICE BY 3


Woodpeckers vs Freeballers (+5) – Well, for anyone that thinks D4 is still too low for the Peckers (heh), this isn’t the matchup to show that they belong here. Freeballers have been rough since they started in the league and they’ve yet to show anyone that they belong in D4. If what I heard about WP is true, I don’t know if Freeballers can keep up. WOODPECKERS BY 18


Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers (+15) – Freeballers get more points here, simply because they’ll be playing a team with a good QB this game. Add into the fact that they have a roster of baller girls who have played together for years now, and it doesn’t bode well for FB. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14


Tox vs Not So Sticky (+11) – There is zero way this game doesn’t have some sort of bet on it between Topper and Jeff Krol. I don’t know what it will be, but I look forward to hearing about it. Not So Sticky looked good last week, but it was against a team that’s now in D6. TOX will be a much tougher test for them. TOX BY 8


Jabronies vs Itches and Ohs (+4) – The Jabronies give the points, but I really don’t know what to expect from this franchise this season. It really sounds like they fell apart, which is a shame because Joe Miano is a good QB that deserves a really good team around him. He’s come a long way. Itches and Ohs impressed last week, and while they were apparently shorthanded, I’m interested to see how they look with the full team. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1




Last Week’s Games:

Breast Friends 35, Puckett All-Stars 22

Wasted Potential 36, University Wealth Management 6

Breast Friends 47, Wasted Potential 36

Zack Attack 20, Show Me Dem TDs 19

ILF 42, The Bambs 38


               Travis’ gender team got off to a rousing start this season, going 2-0 and looking like early D5 favorites, which was probably why he started them in D5 to begin with. It’s good to see Puckett back, but shaking off the rust against a brand new gender team can be jarring, so I don’t think we saw exactly what they can be this season yet. Wasted Potential walked all over UWM, but I think everyone will be doing that this season. They hung with BFs and could definitely beat them in a rematch. Zack Attack snuck a win out against SMDTDs in a very closely contested game that could’ve gone either way. The Bambs showed they can play in D5 without a problem, even in defeat. The Dave Baker QB experience started off pretty well for ILF, and they really put points on the board. They’ll be fun to watch this season.


This Week’s Games:


Puckett All-Stars vs University Wealth Management (+19) – This will be a much better game to gauge how well Puckett is going to fair this season. If UWM is going to compete this season, they’ll need to step it up for this game. It’s an early season game where both teams could really use the win. It’ll be fun. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3


Breast Friends vs Zack Attack (+8) – Zack Attack looks to knock off the BFs, and they’ll present a much better challenge for them than they faced last week. It’ll be fun to see how the girls look against a team with D5 championship hopes. BREAST FRIENDS BY 6


Show Me Dem TDs vs University Wealth Management (+12) – Jon Senn and Company take on Team Keller who will be playing their second game of the day. That’s a good time for Show Me to catch them. SHOW ME DEM TDs BY 18


Breast Friends vs The Bambs (+1) – The BFs play their FOURTH game of the season already, but I think this one will present the toughest challenge for them. The Bambs are tall, fast, and can score. Last season they ran all over the gender teams in D6, and while having Travis on defense is much better than what they faced last year, he can’t be everywhere on the field. Look for some long TDs by The Bambs here as they run to a win. THE BAMBS BY 9


ILF vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – I don’t think Show Me is quite ready to contend for the D5 title as they figure things out. Once they figure out “Life without Chris Nelson”, they’ll be good, but that takes time. ILF is rolling, and Andrew Kicak has cultivated a fun team that plays for each other. I’ll take that every time here. ILF BY 10


ILF vs Zack Attack (+5) – This is the lowkey really fun game that nobody recognizes. I feel like this will be a back and forth affair that will come down to whoever blinks first. Who will that be though? I think its Zack Attack. ILF BY 2





Last Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg 19, Victorious Secret 16

Travis Henry’s Kids 43, Lenny’s Ladies 16

Graves Bros 43, Spinelli’s Plumbing 30

Tater Tots 40, The BiPolar Express 28

Woodpeckers 32, TMA 15

TMA 39, Tater Tots 9


               Blitzkrieg started off a little underwhelming against a new gender team to the league (even if they’ve played together for a bit otherwise), but I expected more points. Travis Henry’s Kids took advantage of some roster issues for Lenny’s Ladies and showed they’ll be a team to watch out for in the division. Graves Bros did exactly what they were supposed to do and win convincingly as they march towards finally winning the D6 title. The Tater Tots put up a nice win against BPX as the gender team is getting their mojo back. TMA was unfortunate to have to play the Woodpeckers (yes, Brent being there would’ve made the difference, AND they were missing Ferger? Yikes.) but they made up for it with a big win against the Tots. Johnny Dio looked good in spot duty, which can only mean a QB controversy is on the way.


This Week’s Games:


Graves Bros vs TMA (+9) – A potential championship preview? Maybe? Hopefully TMA will be at full capacity this week so we can get an accurate reading on just how close (or far?) they are from FINALLY winning a championship. GRAVES BROS BY 4


Tater Tots over Blitzkrieg (+5) – Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m sort of adopting Blitzkrieg. I love them. They’re my new faves in the division. I want to see more points guys. The Tots – BK game is going to be a good one. The Tots had a hiccup against TMA last week, and I don’t think its indicative of who they are. Big matchup, I’ll take the points. Allie and Red Hoodie Guy both score here. BLITZKRIEG BY 8


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Blitzkrieg (+1) – After winning the opening game, Blitzkrieg goes 1-1 on the day to a Spinelli’s team that played well and have been coming along in the last season or so. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 1


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Tater Tots (+3) – THK’s debut was a good one, but this is their real first test in their short history in the TSL. If they’re really making noise this season, they need to come out and win this one. I think they’re more inspired than the Tots, who will be playing in their fourth game in two weeks. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3


The BiPolar Express vs Juiced (+3) – Thank God. Imagine the bloodbath if the Woodpeckers were here. Juiced is still figuring things out and their females aren’t really close to how good BPX’s are. That’s big for teams trying to compete against the established gender teams. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 8


Victorious Secret vs Lenny’s Ladies (+5) – Okay, it’s not Matty’s Angels vs Cunning Stunts (yet) but let’s celebrate another matchup of our AWESOME ladies in the league going to battle! This will be awesome, and it’s going to be a great way to close out Week 2. I expect a close and exciting matchup here! LENNY’S LADIES BY 2





1. How will the Woodpeckers fare in D4? Are they too good for it? Is this just right for them? You’d think based on what the league was saying that they were all NFL players beating up on TMA, but they only won 32-15. Just how much will their QB limit them? It’s very interesting to see where we’ll be at.


2. Who is Sticky Hands Blonde Chick on the Untouchaballs? Multiple people emailed, faxed, and texted me about her and how she needs to get some great publicity for her awesome play. We need to find out more about her. Hell, we need to know more about the Untouchaballs as it is. EMAIL ME. ANY OF YOU.


3. How much longer is D1 going to exist as is? Look at those lines. This is a clear 3 team division where the other teams would be in the mix for the D2 title. Either we need to get other teams better, or maybe it really is time to just combine D1+D2.


4. Who will win QB of the Year in D2? Look at this: Matty Ice, Topper, Dean Thompson, Scotty Dro, Dubey. These are all established TSL names that are great. Add in the newcomers in Jordan Lawson and Jeremy “Hogan” Olsen and you have 7 amazing QBs in the division (along with one up and comer in Dylan Day). This is going to be the hardest award to win.


5. Who is ready for Breakfast Club? The TSL’s best (and worst) kept secret is up to 8 teams as it kicks off its regular season this week. BC is one of the most fun experiences a TSL player can do, and it’s the best way to make brand new friends you wouldn’t normally talk to. GET THE MIMOSAS READY!




1. Shout out again to Juiced, who stepped up by stepping down to D6 and really helped prevent a bigger issue from developing. They get some beers or something.


2. It’s really nice hearing the old intros to the TSL podcast with Lenny and Rameer in them. It’s great the podcast is back AND that Topper is on them every time! So far.


3. I got this email too late for last week’s article, but it seems that Travis and Topper are betting on games based off the lines for each week, one from each division. The winner of each week gets $5, but the overall winner at the end gets a Steak Dinner. That’s fun. This week, Travis has: Peachy Platoon (+1), Victorious Secret (+5), and Wolfpack(-1). Topper has Eyes Downtown (-17), Practice Squad (+7), and Show Me Dem TDs (-12).


4. The biggest complaint from TSLers to me that wasn’t Pecker related? Sunburn. Wear. Your. Sunscreen.




6. Great work to all of you TSLers out there for nailing the COVID protocols and making for a very, very smooth Week 1. You guys rock, keep it up!


7. Breakfast Club Predictions: Robin’s Nest 42 - The Emigos 34, Drive Me Currazy 38 – Steph It Up A Notch 22, Peanut Butter Kelly Time 34 – Stone Cold Kellers 22, and Great White Clarkes 28 – Valkyries 24.


8. BONES! Matty Ice’s newest pup was a huge hit at the fields, I got so many pictures from so many TSLers. Hopefully when I’m at the fields in a few weeks, he brings him again.


9. Yes, please, continue to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . All of your insights into your own teams and games are a HUGE help for doing this!


10. Finally, I know we recently got a lot of people from Game On! to come over to our league, which is awesome. In fact, a lot of TSLers have played there before. So I’ll take a second to wish Joe Goungo all the best as he stepped down from them this week. (This is like Topper walking away from the TSL, for those who don’t know). I’d like to wish him the best in his future endeavors and wish good luck to the new people over there running things!



Go forth, and have fun. And, yeah, Be safe. I’ll see you next week.


I’ll be in the cut.



The Godfathers final thoughts on the 2020 Fall Season

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Tuesday, 03 November 2020 22:12
Published: Tuesday, 03 November 2020 22:12
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 743


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: It’s over.


One of the most confusing, stressful, and sometimes infuriating seasons in the history of the TSL came to a close on October 24th. After countless new regulations, working with the state, working with politicians, working with the Rose Garden, managing any potential large COVID outbreaks, and dealing with what was seemingly a new challenge every single week, the TSLers that were at the fields on Championship Saturday were treated to some of the best football we’d ever seen across all of the divisions.


No, seriously.


We had crazy comebacks, game winning touchdowns, overtime games, an unexpected forfeit, and so much more.


Of the 19 games that were actually played this week (not counting the forfeit, obviously), 13 of them were within one score, including EVERY SINGLE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Here were the Championship point differentials: 1, 4, 3, 3, 7 (Double OT), and 6.


It truly doesn’t get any better than that. It was arguably the most exciting final day in TSL history, and none of you disappointed. Thank you, TSL.





Marketing Mayors 41, Why So Serious? 25

Eyes Downtown 34, Gryffindor 30


Public Enemy 32, Eyes Downtown 28

Tight Ends In Motion 37, Marketing Mayors 22


D1 Final: Public Enemy 35, Tight Ends In Motion 34


The day got off to a rousing start in D1, as the Mayors took a win rather easily, where Eyes Downtown had to work to beat Gryffindor. The Second Round saw TEIM just run past a tired Mayors squad, who just didn’t have the firepower to keep up this time around. Public Enemy met Eyes Downtown in what can be considered an instant classic. Public Enemy took the lead late in the game, but Bobby McConnell marched ED down the field to score the go ahead touch down with 29 seconds left. Chris Cole would get PE down the field and into ED territory with about 5 seconds left. Cole would find Mike Boccio in the corner of the end zone to win the game and go onto the championship. And in that title game, Public Enemy looked gassed from their earlier win. Tight Ends could smell blood, and they scored a long touchdown with about 12 minutes to go to go up 34-14. And then the ghost of Lenny Alba started to roam the sidelines, and all of PE went to work. They scored. They got a stop. They scored. They got a stop. And with time running down, PE would score again, getting the conversion, and taking a 1 point lead. TEIM couldn’t score with next to no time left, and Public Enemy pulled off one of the biggest comebacks in D1 finals history.





Slytherin That End Zone 46, Dilfs 23

Sticky Bandits 33, Jabronies 20


D2 Final: Sticky Bandits 35, Slytherin That End Zone 31


It’s only fitting that this division would once again not see either of it’s top two seeds in the finals. In the semi-finals, Sticky would defeat the Jabronies like they always seem to do. Honestly, I’ve said this before, the Jabronies are an offshoot of Sticky in so many ways. It’s not surprising that Baker and Co. knew what the Jabronies were doing before they did. Don’t let the SITE – Dilfs score confuse you. The biggest “too good to be true” story for D2 this season might’ve been that Dubey showed up just about every week to QB the Dilfs. He led them to a 7-2 record, and easily made them stand out in a crazy good division. So what happened when he was needed the most? He “Dubey-ed” the Dilfs and didn’t show. Travis had to play QB, and while he’s a pretty good backup, it also takes him off the field as a WR, which really messes up everything they try to do. Slytherin, to their credit, looked REALLY good as they didn’t mind the Dilfs’ issues at all. SITE walked away with an easy win to make the title game. And what a title game it was! SITE/Newman started with the ball and opened the game with an INT. Sticky goes onto score. The teams trade scores in an action packed first half, including a late TD where Dave Baker catches a tipped ball just before it hits the ground for a score. SITE rallies back to score just before the half to lead by 3. Sticky started the second half going deep and they throw an interception of their own. Not to be outdone, Newman throws a pick on the next play to give the ball back. Sticky hits a deep TD to Ricky Recckio, SITE answers with a deep TD, Sticky scores on a deep TD again. Sticky is up by 5 at this point, with SITE driving again, but this time they can’t score on 6th down, Sticky goes on to score again to go up 11. SITE would score again themselves, but time wasn’t on their side and one hell of D2 championship comes to an end.




All We Do Is Quinn 46, The Untouchaballs 40 (Double OT)

Scared Hitless 29, Frodo Swaggins 8


D3 Final: Scared Hitless 41, All We Do Is Quinn 38


Let’s get this out of the way now: Scared Hitless easily dispatched of Frodo Swaggins, and as a result one has to wonder about the future of Frodo. If that’s how Scotty Dro leaves the team, what an awful way to go out. All We Do Is Quinn might’ve been looking past The Untouchaballs, and they almost paid for it. The Untouchaballs are clearly a team on the rise in the TSL, and their first season as a team can be considered a success. Losing in 2 OTs to a perennial #1 seed in D3 is a great start and there’s a lot to look forward to for their future. Quinn can look at this game proudly too, because this is the game they’d usually lose and hate themselves for all winter. The D3 final was a ridiculous back and forth affair that apparently it seemed like every person on the team for Scared Hitless scored a touchdown. Dylan Day(y?) was DEALING out there, and with the little red headed girl out with an injury, the Quinn girls had next to no shot to keep up with the 3-headed monster (I mean that as a compliment ladies) of females Hitless trotted out. Quinn didn’t “blow it” here. They lost, yes, but this was a hell of a game and they shouldn’t be ashamed of themselves. In years’ past they might’ve folded under the pressure and lost by 20 but they were in this game until the final play. And yes, Hitless, it was nice of Carly to scream “HIS NAME IS KYNAN” (what a spelling that is, eh?) but nobody cares. He’s always going to be Cat’s Boyfriend, barring some sad breakup I guess.  And Cat’s Boyfriend, along with Jonny Football, Brandon “The Better” Farr, and the other guys I don’t remember is a D3 champion. They’re good, and they showed it.




Buffalo Solar Solutions 53, Over Compensators 48

The Angels 21, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 0 (forfeit)


D4 Final: The Angels 43, Buffalo Solar Solutions 40


The single most disappointing thing I’ve ever heard of in the TSL has to be something Matt Keita did. But, AFTER THAT, it’s Uncle Rico’s forfeiting on Championship Saturday. I don’t know what happened exactly, but the messages from my informants came in pretty quickly. Apparently a good chunk of the team decided to go to Florida that week, so they had to quarantine. It’s not like that wasn’t news for the last 3 months prior to the game. I don’t know if the players who went just thought they’d be able to play or something, but all they accomplished is letting their team down. I get it, it’s “Just co-ed touch football” to a good number of people, so they don’t care. But when you agree to be on a team, you have a bit of a responsibility to try to be there weekly and respect how the rest of the team feels. This league might not be the biggest deal to you, but it very well could be to others on your own team. I’m sorry that it had to come to that, and no, it’s not just coming from me being bitter that I picked them to win. Anyway, The Angels got a free pass to the finals. You know who didn’t get a free pass to the finals? Buffalo Solar Solutions. Despite being down their best player, BSS played a very spry OC team that honestly should’ve won this game. The OC scored late to take the lead, but Andy Clark threw a bomb on first down for the game winning touchdown right after that. Not bad for the OC, when you consider they were scrambling to put a roster together during the week. BSS’ reward? A championship game against The Angels, who were completely rested. BSS played their hearts out, but a Bobby McConnell INT swung the back and forth game in the girls’ favor, and they ended up coming out on top. Buffalo Solar has petitioned the league to put an asterisk next to this championship, as being gifted a spot in the championship should be frowned upon. (Note: BSS didn’t actually do this.)




Mountain Dew Me 33, Cobblestone 0

Practice Squad 31, Zack Attack 29


D5 Final: Mountain Dew Me 31, Practice Squad 25 (Double OT)


Well, we finally figured out how to slow Mountain Dew Me down. Have it rain a lot the night before so they can’t run like they’re used to. I know that it looks like Cobblestone got blown out here, but the truth is, they were the better team for most of the first half. They just couldn’t hold on to should be TD’s and INTs. Darryl missed his opportunities, and eventually MDM found their footing (literally and figuratively) and won this one. Practice Squad had a “scare” of their own. Zack Attack came to play in this one, and nearly pulled off the upset here. Look out for them next season, they’re only getting better and better. MDM vs Practice Squad was everything you wanted it to be and more. Great plays on both sides of the ball for both teams. Two overtimes. PS has been lights out since B became their QB, but he’s going to spend the entire offseason thinking about his final play. B didn’t see a wide open Renee Lantz in the endzone for what would’ve been an easy TD, and instead the ball was incomplete, giving MDM the win as opposed to PS being champions. It was that close.




Graves Bros 30, TMA 24

The Bambs 42, Tater Tots 38


D6 Final: The Bambs 36, Graves Bros 30


Graves Bros outlasted TMA in a hard fought game. TMA was missing a couple of players, but they got Tall Nick back to replace Drunk Meg’s Brother who was trapped at work. However, they were down to only two females as Light Val took a vacation somewhere, but Diana and Lauren were up to the task, at least until Lauren hurt her ankle pretty badly (But she played through it apparently). Toss in an interception that was overturned when it shouldn’t have been and that tells me Billy reffed a TMA game. Jokes aside, I have to give Graves Bros credit though, every single time they play a close game, it seems they come out on top. (FORESHADOWING). The Bambs dueled the Tater Tots in the other game, as they went back and forth with each other. The Bambs’ ended up making just one more defensive play than the Tots, and that was literally the difference. I’ve said this a lot this article, but the Tots have come so far since their inception, and they keep getting better and better. Dylan is a very good QB with high potential, and Nick Angelo is rising star in the league. Better days are ahead for the crispy ones. For the final, The Bambs just stuck to their script from the game before. Keep pace and make one or two more defensive plays than the other team. Lead by Derrick (we have a name for one of them!) most of the season, this week was no different as he proceeded to ball out yet again. The Bambs made the defensive plays they needed to take home the title.





1.      I say weekly now, I know, but I can’t give enough credit to the TSL field crew, the Rose Garden, and of course Topper for making this season a reality. We truly showed why the TSL is easily the best Social Co-ed football experience in the world.


2.      Complaining about a lack of upsets in the first round of the playoffs really just meant that we’d get some of the best possible games for a Championship Saturday, and again, these teams delivered. What a great day of games.



3.      Shout out to Sticky Bandits for already declaring that they’ll be going to D1 next season. I have a feeling they’ll be joining the Dilfs to give us a great, 8 team D1 next season. Scared Hitless should be fine in D2, and The Angels should’ve been in D3 a year ago. Mountain Dew Me and Practice Squad should both go up to D4, and The Bambs can compete in D5 as well. Hopefully everyone makes the jump.


4.      Even though they completely blew it in the D1 title game, Tight Ends In Motion has a lot of decisions to make now. They were just a better team with Bro at QB. Will they have enough room for all of their girls when they come back next season? And what about Dave Baker? With Sticky moving up to D1, he’ll have to choose which team to play for. That’s one hell of a choice. Good luck with that.



5.      One of the more exciting things for this season were the new faces that came aboard. There were more than a few folks you’d  classify as “Game On” people (they would too though, so it’s fine) that played, reffed, and hung out all year. According to many sources, a lot of them “drank the TSL Kool-Aid” and they’re looking forward to spending their Saturdays at the Rose Garden as part of the TSL family. Hopefully I can come in from Iowa next season and meet some of you. I heard there could be a gender team coming too! Let’s go!


6.      If COVID took one thing away from us this season, it was that we didn’t get to properly mourn Rameer as a family. The constant distraction to even get the league up and running meant that we didn’t, and couldn’t, get to have the proper celebration of his life. That isn’t to say his massive presence wasn’t missed this season, of course it was. Assuming life can be much more normal by the Spring, expect a much bigger Rameer day. 



7.      The TSL Indoor Jamboree begins January 9th. Talk to Topper, I’m not sure if there are any more spots left. Teams are still forming, so suck up to the captains ASAP. It’ll be the place to be this winter, easily. No word yet if the TSL tournament is coming to the Bills Fieldhouse just yet. Clearly they still have lots of COVID regulations in place, and the idea of bunch of unknown (to them) outsiders coming in and potentially infecting the team somehow doesn’t sit well with them of course. But soon. Perhaps we have a Breakfast Club-like Draft for a tournament? 8 teams, 8 female captains? I think that could be a LOT of fun.


8.      Remember to get your awards nominations in! Even if we don’t have a banquet, the TSL will still be giving out our awards. No word yet on how we’ll do that, but I’m sure it’ll work out great. You can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Awards Head Emily Curry at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Get those emails in!


9.      Thank you, again, to all of you that emailed me throughout the season giving me your hot takes on all things TSL. Thanks to The Sentinel for their great article, and to the entire TSL QB Power Rankings Committee for all of their cool info, graphics, and charts. Thanks to Joe K for that one podcast this season, perhaps we’ll get to two next year? And thank you to everyone that helped out in some way, shape, or form this season. This league doesn’t exist without all of you.



10.   That brings us to the official close of the #TSL2020 season. It was a bit crazy for sure, but we persevered. We reconnected with old friends, we made new friends, and we had as much fun as things would allow. I got to write a weekly article all the way from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and that only happened because of your efforts, because of people stepping up when I asked for help. There was a global pandemic, and it still couldn’t stop this league from chugging along, despite the best efforts of many. Please, take care during the holidays, and stay safe. I don’t know if I’ll write an article for the indoor league or not, it’ll depend on who tells me what. If not, I’ll look forward to hearing from you all in the Spring. You’re the best league on the planet. Don’t forget that.




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