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WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF
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- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Friday, 18 August 2023 19:25
- Published: Friday, 18 August 2023 19:25
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Hits: 2458
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after a lovely summer chock full of vacations, cook outs, parties, home improvement projects that mostly got done, weddings, personal growth, turning on your AC/wishing you had AC, and whatever else you do during the middle of the year: it’s time. You can feel it in the air when you walk outside, ever so slightly. The mornings have a tiny chill in them. The smell of fall is growing every day. And with that comes football.
And on Saturday, August 19th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, the World’s Premier Social Co-Ed Football Experience, the TSL has returned! That’s right, tomorrow we will have 49 teams across 7 divisions take the field as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins once again!
There’s been a lot that’s happened since we last left you in June. Players have switched teams. Long time franchises have folded, while new ones have emerged. Teams from the past have returned. The referee fees have jumped up to $30 a game in an effort to get better refs, which has apparently been working. Or at least Garrett says it is. The Rose Garden has promised us that we have 5 fields for most of the season, which means that we don’t have to have as many later games. But no, this doesn’t mean you get to try to switch around your schedule because there are more “open” fields on the schedule. Cut it out. You know who you are.
Every new season is its own adventure. There will be many twists and turns along the way, and no matter what you think, chances are you’re going to be wrong. And that’s the fun of the TSL. Everyone has a chance to end the season as a champion. Except for the Freeballers. And THK.
D1:
Odds To Win The Championship:
Legends (2-1)
Losing Streak (4-1)
Sticky Bandits (4-1)
Eyes Downtown (6-1)
Frodo Swaggins (50-1)
Preseason Hype: There isn’t much. After a season in which we saw D1 get closer than ever to returning to its former glory, we’re right back to a lame, 5 team division. Just as D1 got good, the teams started cannibalizing themselves which has led to the end (at least for this season) of Tight Ends In Motion and Grey Hair Don’t Care as some of their stars became “front runners” and joined better teams. You can even make a case that cannibalization is what drove Scared Hitless back to D2, as they lost arguably their best player last season. It all adds up to a weak D1 with a couple of “super teams”, where by Week 5 the teams are going to complain they’re playing the same teams again and again. “But try to remember, they did this to themselves”, as one email to me put it. After winning two very weak D1 titles, the Legends finally won a “good” one that counts. They remain the favorites to do it again, as they sniped Andy Smigeria (there’s no way that’s spelled right) from Tight Ends which gives them one of the most athletic teams we’ve ever seen. Sean is fantastic, Shbend is very good, Travis is there, and they have 2 of the Top 5 females in the entire league in Mel and Maddie Norton. Oh, wait, Taylor Pagano is there too. It’s just an all-star team top to bottom, despite their shortcomings at QB. But that’s why Sean is starting to play the position, isn’t it? Losing Streak was my pick to win it last season, and they’ve given me zero reason to think that they can’t do it still. Jordan gets a little too much hate nowadays, and honestly, he’s made strides as a QB these past few seasons. Everyone knows how good Ralph and Chris are, and now Stoner Dave is added to this team? They also trot out Crystal, Robin, and Britney on top of it. Losing Streak is primed to win. Is this the year? Or is this the year that new dad Jeff Krol finally steers Sticky into the D1 title that has eluded them? This should be surprising to nobody, but they’ll be bringing out the same roster that they’ve had for quite some time. No real big free agent splashes here. Sticky has the talent and the knowhow, but they just can’t figure it out in the playoffs. Another football season, another rendition of Eyes Downtown. Bobby was a masterful GM this season. Not only did he woo Amber Hay away from Grey Hair (and sent them to the minors) he sniffed out that Tight Ends fire sale and bought BIG. Tall Derek, Kyle Conniff, and Katie Salisbury all join ED which will obviously give them a massive boost in talent from the additions (not to mention this means Blase will play less, which can only help). This team is the most interesting team in D1. I’ll be keeping a close eye on how well they mesh together. Last up is the slightly overmatched Frodo Swaggins. The TSL’s version of Vanderbilt playing in the SEC, Garrett’s squad had some growing pains for sure last year. The D1 game is different of course, and there’s an adjustment to be had, especially when you get brand new people on the team too. While the talent on Frodo is very good, it seems like they missed out on the free agents that the other teams absorbed and (on paper at least) makes it look like they’re a step behind. It all adds up to what could be quite the frustrating season for Frodo.
Preseason Prediction: I think Eyes Downtown uses the new talent they’ve acquired from the TEIM firesale to win the D1 title over Losing Streak.
This Week’s Games:
Eyes Downtown vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - Frodo unfortunately is going to be double digit underdogs in every game they play until they prove otherwise. The difference here will be that Bobby has more than likely been running two-a-days with his new players for a month and they’ll be prepared. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17
Losing Streak vs Eyes Downtown (EVEN) - My Championship title game prediction gets to play each other right off the bat? That’s fun! This has Game Of The Day potential for sure. It’ll be fun to see these pretty evenly matched teams go at it. I’ll give the slight edge to Losing Streak here since ED will be coming off a game played already. LOSING STREAK BY 1
Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - Different game, same scenario. I need to see something out of Frodo before thinking they can pull off any upsets. LOSING STREAK BY 12
D2:
Odds To Win The Championship:
Untouchaballs (3-1)
Scared Hitless (4-1)
Cleavengers Assemble (6-1)
Mavericks (6-1)
THREAD (8-1)
Can’t Touch This (13-1)
Practice Squad (17-1)
Freeballers (20-1)
Preseason Hype: D2 is BACK BABY. For the longest time, D2 was the best division to be in. It combined the high levels of competition without the “D1-ness” of things that turns people off. Eventually, the people who were on two teams thing turned D2 into a bit more of a “D1 lite”, but with the new rules, and some new D2 blood over the last couple seasons, we’re back to where we want to be. This division is going to be AWESOME. The Untouchaballs are back yet again with Jeremy Burr slinging the rock. He has been arguably one of the best QBs in the league the last few seasons, and he’d more than likely win D1 if chose to throw in it. But he wants to “keep it fair for the tryhards there”. Okay, that’s not an actual Burr quote, but I feel like it would be. Burr turned Melanie into a superstar, he still has Matt Helm and Handsome Greg, and he still has other teams sleeping on his sneaky good other girls. They’re the favorites and for good reason. Welcome back to D2 Scared Hitless. SH feels like that really cool friend everyone liked that went away to war for a few years, but now they’re back. They served their time. They have NOTHING to hang their heads about for their D1 stint. It's admirable that they did it at all. They return to a D2 where they’ll be competing for the title right away. They have talent all across the board, and if things click early? Look out. Cleavengers Assemble is Travis’ latest random D2 team that he whips together that has some TSL stars on it. This time he’s going to trot out Emily Curry, Maggie, and Casey. That just doesn’t feel fair. JZ returns after winning his championship last year, quieting rumors of retirement. Not entirely sure how strong the males are on this roster though, so it’ll be interesting to see how they play out. This team can win games with their females alone though. The Mavericks are a fun team that really started to click at the end of last season. Now they add George and Emily to an already solid roster? 6-1 odds feels like the bet to be making here, especially when you remember that they have league darling Maverick Mike on the squad. Instant fun team here. Speaking of fun, it seems Cory Turner decided to go back in time to 2015 and bring everyone back with him. THREAD boasts some of the best “Ghosts of TSLs Past” with Dalfonso, Gawron, and Andy Smith just to name a few. Somewhere, Lenny is smiling. It’ll be interesting to see how the old timers do. (Spoiler Alert: they still got it). Can't Touch This makes the climb to D2 after winning D3 last season. They’re just solid top to bottom with a rocket armed QB, and that’s usually a good mix. The biggest question for CTT over the years has been their females and how they’ll measure up to the competition. I’m letting the cat out of the bag here: after a few seasons under their belts and getting a hang of the co-ed football game, these girls are *good*. You don’t know them yet, but you should, and you’re going to. Can't Touch This will go as far in D2 as these ladies take them. Sorry CTT, I just ruined your surprise factor, I know. Practice Squad was one play away from winning a LOT of games last season, but instead they just slightly kept missing out. It was about as good of a losing season as one can be though. The team really learned a lot, and they’re GOING to win games this session. Plus, peeking at the rosters I see that they added a superstar in Rylee Moser. Uh oh. That’s big for PS. And then we have the Freeballers. Hey guys. You added studs last year and it just didn’t go well. I see some new names again. I see HOGAN?!?! IS HOGAN RETURNING?!? Business is about to pick up here in D2.
Preseason Prediction: In a wild, wild season that I feel like we’ll see lots of good games, give me the Untouchaballs winning the title over the Mavericks in the end.
This Week’s Games:
Scared Hitless vs THREAD (+3) - Scared Hitless should be quite focused in this one, and you have to assume they learned a lot during their D1 time. I’m going to give THREAD the benefit of the doubt here and I’ll assume they have some cobwebs to clear out and some rust to knock off, so this is preseason for them. SCARED HITLESS BY 6
Scared Hitless vs Practice Squad (+8) - SH could be staring a 2-0 start in the face for this one, which should wash away the pain of the last few seasons. I’m excited for Practice Squad this season, but they still need to show they can do it first. SCARED HITLESS BY 1
The Untouchaballs vs Cle-avengers Assemble (+6) - I’m sure Burr hasn’t forgotten the way Travis unceremoniously booted him off of Legends before last year’s title game. I’ll expect chirping here, but Burr will be out to prove a point. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 9
Cle-avengers Assemble vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - CTT always gets off to a slow start after an offseason of alcoholism and not training, so I don’t expect their best just yet here. Cleavage Ass should be just fine here. CLEAVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 12
The Untouchaballs vs Mavericks (+3) - I will say, I don’t look at the schedule before I make my predictions, so it’s fun to see that another one of my Championship Finals predictions will get to play out in Week 1. I will say though, I see this one going the other way. MAVERICKS BY 4
D3:
Odds To Win The Championship:
Wanderers (4-1)
Bullet Club (4-1)
Let’s Get Reccked (4-1)
Keller Whales (4-1)
716 (6-1)
The Family (10-1)
Vaspian (12-1)
The Malones (25-1)
Preseason Hype: Did you notice the theme? D3 looks a little bit different than it has in the last few seasons, but the one thing that stays the same is that there is NO clear favorite in arguably our most competitive division (although D2 really looks like it's taking the cake there). Just about any of these teams can win it. The Wanderers return everyone that they’ve returned for the last 7,258 seasons. They continue to just be good at football, and they came up JUST short in the championship game last season. They’re the nicest team and everyone enjoys playing against them (unless they get on Laura’s bad side. Don’t do that.). Just about every single game they play is a one score game that comes down to the end. Every Wanderers game is a must watch. Bullet Club returns with pretty much the same roster yet again. One notable difference is former D3 MVP Pistol Pete isn’t on the roster, only playing in D4 for THK. Not good for BC, but Joe K DID get George Lombardo to replace him. I guess if you’re going to try to replace one tall, fast, talented guy, you may as well do it with another one. Let’s Get Reccked had some holes last season, but it's safe to say that having Kyle Conniff on the roster alongside Dave Baker will get them everything they need to succeed. The Keller Whales is just another name for Team Keller, who should really just go back to 3rd and Schlong at this point. All of the Kellers are back, alongside the First Lady Val Bernal, Scotty Dro is throwing, and it seems they added some McGregors of Mountain Dew Me fame. That’s fun. 716 makes their return after a season off, as Derek Pew hands the QB reins to B, who is apparently pulling double duty this season at QB. And he’s playing Breakfast Club? B’s arm is going to fall off this season. He forgot he’s old now. You heard it here first. They also have perennial nicest person in the league candidate Tammy Buczek on the team, and Donte Ridgeway is going to look to build on the name he was making for himself a couple of seasons ago. They’re dangerous. The Family is a new franchise, but they’re really not. Of the things I know about them? Pete “Former Best Tommy Hughes” Nguyen is getting the dust off his body to come back to the TSL. Pete is a game changer, even if he’s like 48 now. I know that Leseaon Washington is a VERY good player, but we haven’t heard his name since Peachy Platoon left us. He’ll be back in the spotlight in D3. And Terrell Bolden is a very good QB who should always have a team, and it wasn’t right that he didn’t for a time there. It’s good to see him playing more than just Breakfast Club this year. Vaspian is back yet again as one of the better defensive teams in the league. Scoring is always a little tough for them, but they do their best. The current roster I have for them seems a little light, so I'm going to assume they’ll be acquiring another player or two. Last up, we have The Malones. Perhaps I’m completely wrong, but I don’t think I know any of the players here. Who are you? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know! Hype your team up. I can’t put a team that I know nothing about with better odds. Looking forward to seeing what you have cooking over there.
Preseason Prediction: Let’s Get Reccked demands D3 play the 10 and 11 games in the playoffs so they don’t get ruined at the bar beforehand and they take the title over the Wanderers, sparking the whispers that the Wanderers can’t do it in the TSL.
This Week’s Games:
Bullet Club vs Vaspian (+7) - A good matchup right out of the gate as both of these teams will get right into familiar territory. Vaspian must hope Drew is there, as they’re a completely different team without him. If the newly engaged Brian O (Congratulations!) is locked in, Vaspian could do some damage. However, if QB Jeff Easton is firing on all cylinders, it could be a long day for Vaspian. BULLET CLUB BY 12
Bullet Club vs The Family (+7) - A BC double header will give us our first look at The Family and we’ll see how they stack up against one of the better D3 teams we’ve had the last few seasons. Hard to predict when we don’t know what we’re getting from The Fam. BULLET CLUB BY 10
Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Another fun matchup in D3 that will pit two contenders for the title against each other right away. While neither team truly “needs” this win in Week 1, it’ll be a good litmus test to see where they stand. LETS GET RECCKED BY 3
D4:
Odds To Win The Championship:
Puckett All-Stars (3-1)
Cunning Stunts (4-1)
Buffalo Vice (4-1)
Father Baker (6-1)
Passing While Intoxicated (8-1)
Travis Henry’s Kids (10-1)
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (10-1)
TMA (15-1)
Preseason Hype: Puckett returns as the defending champion, and although it looks like they have most of the gang back together this season, it appears that Vince isn’t on the team this year. A return to TJ at QB? Is there a new gunslinger on the horizon? These questions need answers! The Cunning Stunts are back, as they always are. Our longest running gender team returns with Joey Batts at the helm, and he’s got all of the usual Clarkes and Paganos running around for him. Renee, Katie Keller, Kelly Liddle, Jilly Batts-Brother, Emily Curry, and the lesser known but shouldn’t be Ashtin Fiegel make up a team that’s going to beat you by 30 and you just don’t know it yet. But one team they don’t always beat is Buffalo Vice! Vice is back and I believe they’ve got everyone back from last season. Andy Clark has a cannon, Caitlyn Mason is still one of the best girls in the league, and everyone on this team knows what to do. They’ve done it for years. Looking forward to them trying to run it back. The hilariously named Father Baker is exactly what this league needs: Another gender team! While we’re not quite at the 4 or 5 we had a few seasons ago, we’re back up to 3, and that’s awesome. This team touts Dave Baker as the QB, but mastermind GM Amber Hay has collected a who’s who of TSL Ladies. Robin, Maddie, Jaimie Warren, Emily Belfield, Rachel Grampp, Kayla Voss, Molly Morgan Santo, Casey, the underrated Jessie Kieta, and more! This team looks to be a contender right away, and it’ll be fun to hear about them. PWI returns yet again, as Colorado Mike’s squad continues to build on the successes they’ve had pretty much since they started in the league. Buddy Lee has slowly morphed into one of the league’s better QBs, and honestly the ladies and gentlemen around him continue to improve. PWI is only heading up. THK may be stuck with John Langley at QB, but they still proceed to compete in just about every game they play. Pistol Pete is uncoverable in D4, and with Aaron Balcerzak catching non-overthrown passes finally in his career, THK has weapons. The biggest knock on them has been the lack of a stud female, as most of the THK girls are solid, but not spectacular. However it seems Lindsey West has joined the team this year, and she immediately becomes the #1 female on the depth chart. ILF had a slowish start to last season as they tried out different QBs, but I believe that now they have one. This team is always tough to play against, as Kicak has his team prepared, and after a few seasons now, they KNOW how to play. Sometimes knowing and actually doing are two different things though, and that’s where ILF gets into trouble occasionally. They will be in most of their games and they’re a riot to play against. Don’t count them out. Last but not least is TMA. You may be asking “Why on Earth would a team that went 2-6 last season in D5 jump up to D4?” and that’s a valid question. Obviously, Brent must’ve gotten in tremendous shape over the offseason. While it doesn’t seem that TMA got any of the old gang back that took off last season, they did get one notable free agent as Michael Boccio-Bernal has left the bright lights of D1 to play with Diana and friends. MBB is arguably one of the greatest players in TSL history, I’m pretty sure he’s won more D1 titles than maybe anyone ever, and the price you pay for adding him is moving up a division. I do not know how much he’ll truly affect games in D4, but it's another interesting storyline to watch play out.
Preseason Prediction: Father Baker upsets the Cunning Stunts to win the title. Girl power.
This Week’s Games:
Puckett All-Stars vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - This feels like the 3rd straight season we’ve led off with these two battling each other. D4’s only game of the week sure is a doozy however. Bet the over. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3
D5;
Odds To Win The Championship:
Come From Behind (3-1)
Spinelli’s Plumbing (5-1)
GUCCI (6-1)
BAADIES (8-1)
Not So Sticky (11-1)
Goatsack! (11-1)
Cobblestone (12-1)
Creekers (20-1)
Preseason Hype: Come From Behind goes into their 100th anniversary season without many changes. They just don’t need to adjust this roster, as they’re routinely one of the D5 title contenders. Paul LoVullo still has a rocket launcher for an arm, causing TSL brass to consider drug testing him. The roster is still stacked, the team will show up, and they’re going to be there at the finish line. Spinelli’s Plumbing returns after a season off, and as a result they dropped a division. While a couple of them played to keep fresh last year, not all of them did. The team looks largely the same as it always has, which means once they click, they should be dropping 50 points on everyone again and getting ready for D4 in the Spring. GUCCI is back after a great regular season (we won’t mention the playoffs) and Kelly Kane has her team ready to get right back at the goal of a championship. They’re another team that's in every game they play and they’re so smart with the football. Now they have a chip on their shoulder? Revenge Tour incoming. The BAADIES dropped down to D5 after a pretty good showing in D4. They’re a very good team that sadly lost a couple players to other squads but Garrett has found himself some new gems to replace the ones they lost. There’s nothing wrong with dropping a division, getting everyone on the same page, and moving up to hopefully battle the other two gender teams next season. Not So Sticky returns all of the usual suspects that they’ve had over the years. Rags is back to throw, Paul Scinta is back to make acrobatic catches, and Zach Jenkins will continue to make people wonder why he doesn’t play on any other teams. NSS will always be a tough out, but this team is more about Huggie Bombs than touchdowns, and that’s okay. Goatsack is back and looking to build on the progress they made last season. Andy’s team is a close knit group that has fun no matter what. But of course, winning is more fun. Cobblestone is in D5 as Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to chase that elusive title. You absolutely never know what you’re going to get with Darryl in terms of roster construction, but that’s because all he needs is that golden arm. And that hair. The Creekers tried D4 out last season and it went really poorly for them. That happens. What’s important to note is that they’re back, they dropped a division, and hopefully they’re right where they’re supposed to be in D5. I don’t quite know what to expect from them yet, other than Mullet Guy doing Mullet Guy stuff.
Preseason Prediction: GUCCI defeats the BAADIES in a championship matchup of teams that use all capital letters for some reason.
This Week’s Games:
BAADIES vs Not So Sticky (+8) - The biggest problem for NSS always seems to be that they don’t score enough. Well, the BAADIES score. A lot. And I don’t think NSS has the girl power to keep pace. BAADIES BY 16
Not So Sticky vs Creekers (+7) - If the Creekers are going to compete in D5, this is the perfect team to find that out against. NSS is a smart, crafty team. Again, scoring can be an issue, so if the Creekers make a few plays on defense, they’ll be in this one. NOT SO STICKY BY 5
Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+6) - CFB has been chugging right along, including playing in the wine tournament (duh), so they’re ready to go for this one. Spinelli’s may have some kinks to work out after a season off. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8
GUCCI vs BAADIES (+6) - Another championship preview apparently, but this will be a good one. Try to remember that GUCCI doesn’t have to worry about “keeping pace” by forcing a gender TD, since every TD they get is a gender score thanks to Kelly playing QB. This should be a good one, but the BAADIES will need some help figuring things out on defense in Week 1. GUCCI BY 8
Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Cobblestone (+10) - We’ll have a heck of a QB Matchup here between Darryl Carr QB Superstar and Nick Hawes. Both teams can put up some points, so it’ll be up to the defenses to get a stop and decide this one. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14
GUCCI vs Creekers (+10) - Not the best draw for the Creekers in the second half of a double header. They’ll do their best to keep up, but Kelly and Co will pull away. GUCCI BY 17
Come From Behind vs Cobblestone (+10) - Come From Behind is just too talented. Even though we’re getting an iconic QB matchup, CFB takes it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 16
D6:
Odds To Win The Championship:
Two Tuddies (2-1)
Sausage McMuffins (4-1)
Blitzkrieg (6-1)
Just Get Open (6-1)
Mighty Drunks (8-1)
Balls Deep (10-1)
Pit Harade (15-1)
Back That Pass Up (30-1)
Preseason Hype: The Two Tuddies ran roughshod over the division last season, only to be upset in the championship. Truthfully, they should be moving up a division, but the way things fell allowed them to stay in D6 to chase the title that eluded them. The McMuffins are back and they were the feel good story for most of the season before the wheels kind of fell off. With a good season under their belts already, the McMuffins look to take the next step towards a title. Blitzkrieg comes into their fall season a different team. Not completely, of course. They still have Light Red Hoodie Guy and a host of talent, but as we’ve seen in the past, “Fall Blitzkrieg” doesn’t have Alex at QB due to his other commitments. That means we see a different look from a team that’s been around for a bit now. But are they better than Spring Blitzkrieg? We’re going to find out. Just Get Open is a new team run by John Klukowski of Practice Squad fame. There’s a lot of new faces on this team, although Brian Jennings is a long time QB in the Social Co-Ed Football world. They also have the OG TSL Bachelorette in Sarah Hunt. Not sure what to make of this team yet. The Mighty Drunks had a hell of a rise in the Spring, starting slow before becoming one of D6’s more dangerous teams to play against. Jill and Kenny are bringing the team back again with the hopes of continuing the success they had last year. They already spelled the team name right when they registered it seems, so things are looking up. Balls Deep was a very tough out last season, but they lost some players to Spinelli’s, so they’re retooling a bit. It’ll be interesting to see if they can continue to take a step forward or not because of it. Pit Harade returns after a tough season last year on the field, although they were great off of it at the bar as any team with Dave Walter will be. Some continuity at QB will help them immensely, as Dave took over late last season. They have fantastic girls in Ashley, Jen, and Rayanna too. Back That Pass Up returns after a rough season. Alex is looking to have some fun and make some changes to the squad that has the potential to be pretty good.
Preseason Prediction: Two Tuddies beat Blitzkrieg in the finals to move up to D5 where they belong.
This Week’s Games:
Sausage McMuffins vs Just Get Open (+6) - We’ll get to see very early this season if Just Get Open is a contender or needs some work. The McMuffins are a perfect opponent to see if they have what it takes OR to learn what they need to focus on for the rest of the season. The McMuffins and their great jerseys take this one. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 10
Two Tuddies vs Balls Deep (+8) - The Tud Buds should go undefeated this season, which of course means they won’t. They’re just a well rounded team that has played together for a minute now, and that gives them the advantage over the teams that are still working out their rosters. TWO TUDDIES BY 14
Mighty Drunks vs Just Get Open (+3) - This should be a sneaky good game. I’m really looking for the Mighty Drunks to take a step forward this season, but I feel like they need a week or two to get back into the swing of things. JUST GET OPEN BY 3
Sausage McMuffins vs Fall Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - The McMuffins will already have played a game, and then they’re going to have to run into Hoodie Weather. Eventually Blitzkrieg will prove me right. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7
Mighty Drunks vs Pit Harade (+8) - The Drunks get Pit Harade on the back end of their doubleheader, which might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Pit Harade’s defense left a bit to be desired last season, which will be the catalyst in sparking the Drunks’ offense to getting back to where it was last year. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 13
Fall Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+10) - It’s hoodie season. I’m not sure who the BK QB is going to be. If I recall correctly, they’ve had a bit of a rotating door in the fall. If any of them click at the position though, it’ll be a long day for PH. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 11
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
- I’m new here. What is this article? What goes on here? Good question new person to the TSL. I’m the Godfather, and since the beginning of this league I’ve been writing a weekly predictions article and then some for the website. Life has taken me to Des Moines, Iowa where I live in a log cabin with my family. I keep up with the football league I love as best I can, and I need as many of YOU as possible to give me good info and tell me who’s playing well. Again, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you have to email me now! During the season, we’ll also release a weekly podcast about the league ANYONE can be on, and there will be a QB Power Rankings article as well. I’m not sure if the Sentinel is making a return just yet. I haven’t messaged them.
- …What's with that logo? Sadly, Topper requested that the new regime get a new logo for the tsl716.com website we’re moving to. Jeff told me they had a few options for a logo, and this one is currently “temporary” but could end up being the winner. At this point, if you want to make a logo, do so. We’ll have a league vote on what the new logo should be. Let’s see what you can come up with! (Hint: Use the Topper Silhouette that he claims isn’t him but it totally is.)
- Speaking of Topper, what’s his deal? Well, I think we might get lucky and see more of him at the fields as he had successful shoulder surgery and he’s getting ready for his glorious return to the gridiron.
- Did I read the Facebook correctly? Are we getting bar specials? It is my understanding that there will be weekly specials that the bar will be giving us. This week it's $4 Tequila shots, a Taco Flight, $5 off all Corona buckets and when you buy a bucket you get entered in a drawing of some sort, etc. It’ll be fun for you guys!
- Did anything else change we need to know about? Let’s see. $30 ref fees. New website. Logo contest thing perhaps. Bar specials. Oh, and don’t forget that they changed the playoff sub rules to just “you don’t get any subs”. So if Jimmy gets stuck going to Montana for work and you don’t have a replacement for him on your roster, that’s on you.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
- I think D2 is going to be electric this season, and I’m excited to see what happens.
- Things are shaping up (according to my Weather Channel app) to be a pretty nice day for you guys out in Buffalo. Perfect Week 1 weather ahead.
- Games Of The Week:
- 10:00 - Scared Hitless vs THREAD
- 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Losing Streak
- 12:00 - Fall Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins
- 1:00 - Mavericks vs Untouchaballs
- 2:00 - Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked
- 3:00 - Cobblestone vs Come From Behind
- It seems we only had enough people for 4 (probably 5 but nobody wants a bye every week) Breakfast Club teams. That’s a little disheartening because you new people don’t know what you’re missing out on!
- I know that you’re getting used to running to Jeff Krol with all of your problems now, but be very aware that with the whole “new baby” thing going on in his life, he’s not going to be at the fields very late all of the time and you’ll have to find someone else to discuss your issues with. At least that’s what he says.
- I really think Father Baker is going to be very, very good.
- How cool is it that we’re getting a lot of long-time TSLers back to play again this season?
- If you want to be on the podcast, just ask Becca, Jeff, or Joe K and they’ll get you on. I know they have issues getting guests some weeks, so the more the merrier.
- It’s Week 1. There will be new refs. Don’t lose your mind on them if they make a mistake. Talk it out. Don’t get booted from the league on the first day. You know who you are.
- No word yet on if B’s Brother is going to be at the fields this weekend. We can only hope he chooses to grace us with his presence.
That just about does it for me here. Welcome back TSLers. Have fun out there.
-GF OUT
CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS AND STUFF
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Friday, 23 June 2023 14:04
- Published: Friday, 23 June 2023 14:04
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Hits: 2565
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the time has come. The Saturday you’ve all been waiting for, Championship Saturday, is here. On June 24th in the Year of Our Lord 2023, 26 of the surviving TSL teams will compete for the 7 available championships, and most importantly Social Co-Ed Football Immortality.
Championship Saturday is always bittersweet. On one hand, you get the absolute joy and happiness that comes with teams earning (and believe me, it’ll be earned) the titles of “Best Social Co-Ed Football Team On The Planet” for their respective divisions. There’s just something about teams achieving their goal of Immortality and celebrating that can warm any heart. But on the other hand, it means the end of the TSL Spring 2023 season and no football for about two months before the Fall session begins (On August 19th!). Yes, there will be the wine tournament for some of you (On August 5th!), but nothing compares to a fun Saturday of competition at the Rose Garden. But hey, at least it’s better than the 5 and half month wait between Fall and Spring. But let’s not think about that just yet.
On Playoff Saturday last week, I was SHOCKED at what I was hearing. In one of the most wide open “anybody can win these divisions” seasons in TSL History, combined with the usual upsets we get every single season, I was expecting bedlam. And in typical TSL fashion, we got the unexpected. The unexpected, in this case, was that the “expected” happened. A whopping FOUR of the Six TSL divisions went completely chalk. Seeds 1-4 are still alive in D1, D3, D4, and D6. Even Breakfast Club has its top two teams remaining. D2 only had one game, the 4-5 seed game, and Practice Squad pulled a “Practice Squad” and wiped the floor with the Freeballers in an upset. And then D5? Well, D5 gave us the craziness that we thought we’d see. The 3, 5, 7, and 8 seeds are the ones left standing in that division.
I personally can’t remember the last time we’ve had a playoff go so “to script”. But I guess that means it was bound to happen eventually. How did we get there? Who’s going to win?
Let me tell you. . .
D1:
Last Week’s Games:
#1 Sticky Bandits 45, #8 Scared Hitless 23
#2 Legends 44, #7 Grey Hair Don’t Care 29
#3 Losing Streak 35, #6 Frodo Swaggins 16
#4 Eyes Downtown 33, #5 Tight Ends In Motion 32
Even though all of the top seeds won, it wasn’t without some excitement. The Sticky Bandits took a little longer to get going than they would’ve liked in the first half before pulling away from Scared Hitless. The Legends followed suit, being down double digits to Grey Hair before getting it together and turning things around in the second half. Losing Streak didn’t have any problems with Frodo Swaggins, controlling the game from start to finish. And finally, Tight Ends In Motion apparently had a brain fart and scored a late INT TD, giving Bobby enough time to drive the field, get a gender TD with no time left, and then go for two to win the game with no time left, AND SUCCEED. A wild finish to a great game.
This Week’s Games:
#1 Sticky Bandits (8-0) vs #4 Eyes Downtown (4-4)
Points For: SB 35.00 (2nd), ED 30.25 (5th)
Points Against: SB 21.00 (1st), ED 28.75 (5th)
TSL Rank: SB 1st, ED 27th
Past Games: 30 - 28 SB
Line: Sticky Bandits (-6)
Both of these teams had interesting games last week. Sticky couldn’t figure things out early against a very game Scared Hitless team that was looking for a 2nd straight upset in the playoffs. Sticky Nation settled things down, spread the ball around, and walked to a win. Eyes Downtown should’ve lost, but TEIM shot themselves in the foot by scoring on the pick 6, and instead left the door open for a miracle comeback by Bobby and Co. ED has been playing some of their best football lately, while Sticky feels like they’ve been just playing out the string the last few weeks. However, last week woke them up. While there are rumors of Sticky injuries, I don’t think it’s enough for ED to take this one. It’ll be close though. STICKY BANDITS BY 2
#2 Legends (6-2) vs #3 Losing Streak (5-3)
Points For: Legends 34.88 (3rd), LS 35.63 (1st)
Points Against: Legends 23.88 (2nd), LS 27.38 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Legends 8th, LS 17th
Past Games: 22 - 19 Legends, 55 - 29 LS
Line: Legends (-3)
The defending champs had to get it together last weekend, but like Sticky, that was the wakeup call they needed. If they get off to a slow start against Losing Streak, it’s not going to be pretty. LS deserves a lot of credit. They were the only “top” seed in D1 to actually look the part it seems. They were humming along and having fun, and those teams are always the most dangerous on Championship Saturday. Losing Streak has the better males overall, but Legends have the better females. Joey Batts is a slight advantage over Jordan at QB, but it’s a lot closer than people think it is. This game is going to be a doozy, but in the end I think one team has it together a bit more. LOSING STREAK BY 3
The Prediction: Sticky Bandits vs Losing Streak, what a finals this will be. The top offense versus the top defense. Granted, Sticky’s offense isn’t that far behind. When these two teams met before, Sticky walked away with a 34-20 win. Both teams have a lot of talent, both teams have QBs that I feel are underestimated. These games always come with some sort of slight edge for the winning team, and I’ve been trying to find it for either side. And I keep coming back to the same thing: Sticky struggled for a half last week and I feel like they have too many distractions with injuries and impending babies while Losing Streak feels locked in and focused. It’s a slight edge, but sometimes that’s all you need in the TSL. LOSING STREAK BY 6
D2:
Last Week’s Games:
#5 Practice Squad 39, #4 Freeballers 0
Practice Squad woke up and put the Freeballers to rest.
#1 The Untouchaballs (7-1) vs #5 Practice Squad (0-8)
Points For: UT 29.38 (3rd), PS 23.25 (5th)
Points Against: UT 17.00 (1st), PS 35.88 (5th)
TSL Rank: UT 4th, PS 50th
Past Games: 28 - 23 UT, 35 - 0 UT
Line: The Untouchaballs (-14)
For a weekend, it was nice to hear about Practice Squad getting “Playoff B” and they absolutely destroyed the Freeballers. PS is at their best when their ladies are doing the damage, and that’s exactly how it went down. But now, they run into the buzzsaw that is The Untouchaballs, a team that’s played incredible defense and shut down just about everyone in the division (including a shutout of PS not too long ago). Burr and Helm have led this team on a seven game winning streak where they looked, at times, untouchable. Teams just can’t score on them, and if you can’t get points, you can’t win. Pretty simple. The Untouchaballs? They can get points too. It was fun for a week, but it's midnight, and Practice Squad is turning back into a pumpkin. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10
#2 No Punt Intended (6-2) vs #3 Mavericks (4-4)
Points For: NPI 30.13 (2nd), Mavs 31.38 (1st)
Points Against: NPI 27.75 (2nd), Mavs 28.75 (3rd)
TSL Rank: NPI 11th, Mavs 25th
Past Games: 27 - 26 NPI, 30 - 20 Mavs
Line: EVEN
Not much separates these two teams, as the Mavericks score about a point per game more than NPI, but NPI allows a point per game less. It’s about as even as you could hope for a game, and based on the scores from the games earlier, we’re in for a good one. In a unique twist, Jordan faces off against Travis here as they do in D1’s first round as well. NPI boasts the best females in this game, with Amber Hay and Casey Lawler doing a lot of damage if left unchecked. With NPI also having Kyle Coniff to go along with JZ and Bryan Munro, they have the horses to take this game. The Mavs aren’t slouches, as all of their ladies can play (Anna and Britney for sure) but I don’t know if they can keep up with the NPI girls. The Mavs also trot out Manny Batcho, Ant Cordova, and some other guys, but it doesn’t matter because they have new league sensation Maverick Mike on their team as well. His podcast was a delight to listen to a few weeks ago. This game is going to be close, as they all are at this point, but in the end I see NPI taking it. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 1.
The Prediction: The Untouchaballs vs No Punt Intended. NPI won the first game of the season on the last play before The Untouchaballs blew them out in the second game. NPI has had a nice season, but right now D2 is all about The Untouchaballs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 7
D3:
Last Week’s Games:
#1 Jabronies 34, #8 Vaspian 32
#2 Can’t Touch This 47, #7 Degeneration Sexy 20
#3 Bullet Club 29, #6 Let’s Get Reccked 22
#4 Wanderers 40, #5 Itches and Ohs 23
The Jabronies survived a scare from a very game Vaspian team that sounds like they were an unfortunate injury to Drew away from pulling the upset. Can’t Touch This pulled Anthony Battaglia from out of nowhere to lead them to an easy win over D-Sex. Bullet Club pulled Anthony Deak from out of nowhere to lead them to a hard fought win over LGR. And lastly the Wanderers handled business against Itches and Ohs.
#1 Jabronies (6-2) vs #4 Wanderers (4-4)
Points For: Jabronies 35.86 (1st), Wanderers 30.63 (4th)
Points Against: Jabronies 26.71 (1st), Wanderers 32.13 (7th)
TSL Rank: Jabronies 9th, Wanderers 21st
Past Games: 38 - 27 Jabronies
Line: Jabronies (-8)
The Jabronies didn’t look up to the task for a good chunk of the game last week, and they almost paid for it. As such, they now get a Wanderers team who tends to revel in playing close games. However, the only game this season the Wanderers played that was NOT a one score game? An 11 point loss to the Jabronies. I actually expect a closer game this time around, as one has to expect that the Wanderers have a trick or two up their sleeves that they didn’t show in the regular season. The Jabronies have been playing close games the last couple of weeks themselves, which is right up the Wanderers alley. At the end of the day, one team looked good last week, and one team needed a little work. WANDERERS BY 2
#2 Can’t Touch This (5-3) vs #3 Bullet Club (4-4)
Points For: CTT 35.25 (2nd), BC 28.13 (6th)
Points Against: CTT 31.13 (5th), BC 29.50 (3rd)
TSL Rank: CTT 18th, BC 20th
Past Games: 42 - 37 BC
Line: Can’t Touch This (-3)
Can’t Touch This has felt like they’ve been mowing down the competition for months now. Now they get an X Factor in Anthony Battaglia that makes them even better? Look out D3. These teams, if memory serves me correctly, have had some good games in the past, including BC’s 42-37 win earlier this year. Since that game, CTT has just been on the up and up, while BC has had more downs than ups. None of that matters much anymore. BC plays very good defense that matches up well with CTT’s “throwin’ bombs” offense. If CTT plays mistake free on offense, and the defense gets Easton/Langley (or whoever else might QB for BC) to throw a pick, that could be all she wrote. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8
The Prediction: Can’t Touch This vs Wanderers. The last game was a 41-38 CTT win better known as the “broken cleat” game. This one will more than likely come down to the wire yet again. The Wanderers are a smart bunch that are going to play their game the same way they always have. At this stage for them, I don’t think they “get better” anymore. They just are what they are. Can’t Touch This though? They get better. Their girls are better every week. Ryan makes better decisions at QB. Their males are improving as well. It’s feeling like it's their time. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6
D4:
Last Week’s Games:
#1 Buffalo Vice 50, #8 Creekers 30
#2 Cunning Stunts 62, #7 Cobblestone 22
#3 Puckett All-Stars 40, #6 Travis Henry’s Kids 34
#4 Passing While Intoxicated 48, #5 BAADies 36
More chalk, and it wasn’t even close (mostly). Buffalo Vice and the Cunning Stunts both put up lots of points to move on to Championship Saturday. Puckett had to make a stop on the last play of the game to survive a very spry THK. PWI played a very good game against the BAADies to move on.
#1 Buffalo Vice (6-2) vs #4 Passing While Intoxicated (5-2-1)
Points For: Vice 39.88 (2nd), PWI 36.29 (5th)
Points Against: Vice 30.50 (2nd), PWI 31.71 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Vice 6th, PWI 13th
Past Games: 43 - 25 PWI
Line: Buffalo Vice (-3)
Buffalo Vice have been on a tear as of late, and it really feels like they’re peaking at the right time. They’ve put up 50 points in 3 of their last 4 games as their offense really has started rolling. PWI hasn’t exactly been slouches in the point scoring department either, averaging over 40 points a game the last month. This is a game between two of the more underrated teams in the TSL. Buffalo Vice was ignored seemingly all season for how good they were playing. PWI continues to just roll over opponent after opponent and nobody really notices. It’s crazy to think they were FOURTH in this division, when they could’ve easily finished first. I was going to pick Vice to win, but since I’ve been wrong on both of these teams all year, I think it's smarter to go against my intuition. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8
#2 Cunning Stunts (6-2) vs #3 Puckett All-Stars (5-2-1)
Points For: CS 37.29 (4th), PAS 42.00 (1st)
Points Against: CS 31.71 (3rd), PAS 27.86 (1st)
TSL Rank: CS 10th, PAS 12th
Past Games: 46 - 17 PAS
Line: Puckett All-Stars (-6)
Puckett tried their best to blow their game last week, nearly giving up a game tying Pick 6 with time running out. While they rebounded to win the game and get a stop, it’s pretty much been a microcosm of how the second half of the season has gone for them. They’ve gone from blowing out teams, to losing or just getting by. The Stunts, meanwhile, were 1-2 after PAS stomped them so long ago. Since then? 7 game winning streak where they just keep getting better. They just threw up 62 points last week. There may not be a team in the TSL that’s playing better than these ladies. I’ll follow the current trends. CUNNING STUNTS BY 7
The Prediction: Cunning Stunts vs Passing While Intoxicated. Both teams are playing so well. In fact, all the teams remaining in this division are in the Top 13 of the Topper TSL rankings. It’s pretty impressive. PWI is absolutely up to the task of taking on a gender team, as they proved last weekend. PWI is very good at in-game adjustments as well. The Stunts, however, are just on fire. Historically, that means an upset (if you can call it that) is the way things go, but Playoff Saturday has shown us that sometimes you just have to take the favorites. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3
D5:
Last Week’s Games:
#8 TMA 42, #1 GUCCI 37
#7 Not So Sticky 33, #2 Come From Behind 14
#3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 45, #6 Goatsack! 35
#5 Long Balls 36, #4 Tater Tots 29
Craziness reigns supreme in the D5 playoff tournament as 3 of the 4 top seeds go down. TMA enlisted the services of Jeff May at QB and he led them to a huge upset over GUCCI. Not So Sticky waited until the playoffs to score over 30 points this season, as their defense held CFB in check in their upset victory. ILF was the only “favorite” to win as they took care of Goatsack!. And the Long Balls got a win over the Tots in another good game between these two teams.
#3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (4-4) vs #8 TMA (2-6)
Points For: ILF 25.13 (4th), TMA 22.50 (6th)
Points Against: ILF 21.63 (2nd), TMA 26.88 (6th)
TSL Rank: ILF 24th, TMA 44th
Past Games: 34 - 7 ILF
Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-6)
ILF becomes the de facto “top seed” after a whirlwind Playoff Saturday for D5. Ever since they made the switch at QB, ILF has been hot offensively. Adding in a defense that trots out Alex Baker and Andrew Kicak, and you get a hell of a mix going on here. ILF is just really solid all around. TMA played like TMA for the first time in two months. They played well on both sides of the ball, and they were in trouble, they threw to Ron Webber, which has never, ever, been a bad decision. With GUCCI focusing more on preventing gender TDs (understandably) they left the perennial TSL All-Star do what he does best: make plays. TMA won’t have that same luxury against an ILF team that knows how to play them. I think they’ll give ILF a better game than 34-7, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to beat them. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 10
#5 Long Balls (3-4-1) vs #7 Not So Sticky (3-5)
Points For: LB 22.63 (5th), NSS 17.63 (8th)
Points Against: LB 28.50 (7th), NSS 24.00 (4th)
TSL Rank: LB 29th, NSS 40th
Past Games: 18 - 7 NSS
Line: EVEN
There’s going to be a team that’s under .500 playing in the title game. That’s always fun. The Long Balls deserve some credit. As a new team, expectations were always lower for them, but they’ve gone and made strides this season. Regardless of how it ends, this season should be considered a successful one. NSS shocked the world last weekend (including themselves, I’m sure) with the win over CFB. Somehow, things can only get easier for them? I don’t think the Long Balls will be able to score much on the NSS defense, so it all comes down to the NSS offense, which has finally figured something out the last two weeks. If they can keep it going, they’ll find themselves in another title game. NOT SO STICKY BY 3
The Prediction: ILF vs Not So Sticky. This is a fun one. NSS took a 15-14 win back in the beginning of the season, but these teams have gone in different directions since then. Things have really set up nicely for ILF on Championship Saturday, and I think they’ll do enough to take home the title. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7
D6:
Last Week’s Games:
#8 Mighty Drunks 29, #9 Back That Pass Up 0
#1 Southside 48, #8 Mighty Drunks 41
#2 Two Tuddies 34, #7 Pit Harade 14
#3 Sausage McMuffins 22, #6 Blitzkrieg 6
#4 Grass Eaters 45, #5 Balls Deep 43
The Mighty Drunks won the 8-9 seed game pretty handily before giving Southside all they could handle in their game. Southside was up to the challenge though and found a way to win as they’ve done all season. The Tuddies handled Pit Harade pretty easily. The McMuffins figured out how to win football games again, getting by Blitzkrieg. And the Grass Eaters held on to defeat Balls Deep by 2 points.
#1 Southside (7-1) vs #4 Grass Eaters 5-3)
Points For: Southside 37.00 (1st), GE 33.50 (2nd)
Points Against: Southside 15.38 (1st), GE 27.00 (4th)
TSL Rank: Southside 2nd, GE 15th
Past Games: 43 - 16 SS
Line: Southside (-10)
Southside had to earn that win last week against the Drunks, and they’ll have to do the same against the Grass Eaters. Remember that in Southside’s 43-16 win against GE this season, GE was without Steve Moser, who is easily the best QB Southside will face all season. There’s a reason GE is 2nd in league scoring, and it’s because Steve knows what he’s doing. He’ll do a good job against SS, it just depends on how SS adjusts. Southside will more than likely score at will, which means Steve will be looking for Rylee Moser in the end zone just about every single time. If SS keeps tabs on her, they’ll move on. SOUTHSIDE BY 12
#2 Two Tuddies (7-1) vs #3 Sausage McMuffins (5-3)
Points For: TT 32.71 (2nd), SM 27.14 (5th)
Points Against: TT 17.14 (2nd), SM 25.71 (3rd)
TSL Rank: TT 3rd, SM 14th
Past Games: 21 - 0 TT (forfeit)
Line: Two Tuddies (-8)
The football gods have smiled upon us once more. After the much anticipated Tuddies - McMuffins game was canceled due to forfeit, we’re getting it in the playoffs now! In reality D6 is pretty much Southside, Two Tuddies, and then everyone else. The Tuddies are on an 8 game winning streak since losing Week 1. They’re on fire. They get contributions from everyone on their roster and they continue to get better each week. The McMuffins have had a great first season, but there have been some kinks as of late. Yes, they looked good against Blitzkrieg but 22 points isn’t going to cut it against the Tud Buds. The McMuffins look to be the D6 favorites next year….once the Tuddies are gone. TWO TUDDIES BY 13
The Prediction: It was always going to be Southside and the Two Tuddies, wasn’t it? These two future D5 teams have been on a collision course since their first meeting in Week 1, and both have gotten better and better along the way. These two teams are pretty closely matched, but I feel like overall Southside has a slight advantage in speed and athleticism and I think that will be the difference. SOUTHSIDE BY 7
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
- Where was the TSLQBPRC for this article? Great question. It appears most of the team is already on vacation or busy, and nobody had the time to do the article with me this season. But I DID ask them to give me their predictions for the champions and this is what they came up with: Eyes Downtown, The Untouchaballs, Can’t Touch This, Buffalo Vice, ILF, Grass Eaters.
- Are we just going to end up “chalk” again on Championship Saturday? No way. Last weekend felt like such an anomaly from what we’re used to. In fact, the only #1 seed I have winning is Southside in D6 (and technically ILF is the “top” seed in D5 winning). I think we’re still going to get a lot of craziness, it just seems most divisions decided to wait a week.
- Is the weather going to be a factor? It seems so. Even though things in Iowa are fine today (High of 91 degrees), Buffalo weather looks to be rainy for Friday through games on Saturday. It isn’t surprising. Spring sessions for a long time tended to be decided in rain more than anything. The fields are going to be softer than you’ve been used to (which I guess was “concrete” anyway) and hopefully because it’s been so dry for you guys, the ground will soak up a lot of the rain.
- Even if it goes against what you predicted, what would the “best” finals be, story wise? Ooh that’s fun. Sticky Bandits vs. Legends in D1. Krol vs Travis in the first “Non-Topper League” finals would really get people talking about how the TSL is rigged now. Practice Squad vs Mavericks in D2. Just Practice Squad getting the upset would be good enough, but let’s throw Maverick Mike in there too. D3 could give us Bullet Club - Wanderers III, and with the last two games decided on the final play, we could easily see it again. D4 could give us Buffalo Vice - Puckett III, which could easily set championship scoring records. In D5, I think it really is ILF vs NSS, although I’d like to see TMA vs NSS just for a 7 vs 8 finals. And In D6, I think Southside vs Tuddies is the best story. They earned it.
- Is Steph Really going to win Breakfast Club for the 3rd time in a row? It seems that way. With Becca talking smack on the podcast this week, I think Steph Infection is hyped up to three peat. Hopefully this spurs other ladies to want to step up and stop her next season.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
- No matter what happens, Saturday is going to be absolutely fun filled even if it’ll be miserable playing in the rain. All the rain is is one more obstacle in your way to Social Co-Ed Football Immortality.
- Tensions will absolutely be high. Remember to keep your cool and treat the refs with respect. Screaming at them will only get you kicked out and hurt your team.
- With that said, IF YOU ARE REFFING PAY ATTENTION. Too many complaints last week about refs that are too busy talking on the sidelines, drinking, and not paying attention to the game. This isn’t Week 4, this is the Championships. If you can’t do what people are paying you for when the games matter most, don’t sign up. (Sorry Garrett)
- Even still, shout out to the refs that took the time to discuss calls and make sure things were right in a lot of the games. Continue that same energy now that titles are on the line.
- Breakfast Club Prediction: Steph Infection 37, BDSM 30.
- There will be more information about the Wine Tournament coming out soon. Just remember: August 5th at the Black Willow Winery!
- B’s Brother seems to still be in Georgia for Championship Saturday, and as a result we regret to inform you that he more than likely will NOT be there tomorrow. But miracles do happen.
- Best Group Of Champions For The Bar If They All Win: Sticky Bandits, The Untouchaballs, Wanderers, Passing While Intoxicated, TMA, and Two Tuddies. Look out if they all win.
- Pro Tip: Bring a change of clothes. The more you prepare, the more likely it is that it won’t rain. Even if it does, you’ll be dry at the bar.
- Thank you again to everyone that’s been emailing me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . It’s been an honor to write this article for you for the last decade plus and all of the information you provide me with is so helpful.
The Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is nearing the finish line. Who’s going to cross it first? Good luck out there.
-GF OUT
WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Friday, 09 June 2023 13:11
- Published: Friday, 09 June 2023 13:11
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Hits: 2681
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday June 10th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, you all will take the field and combine to play 25 games of Social Co-Ed Football. Some will be exciting, down the wire games. Some will be absolutely boring to watch blowouts. Some will fall somewhere in the middle.
None of them will matter.
Sure, some of them might matter to some of you for various reasons, but the football aspect of the TSL will be overshadowed by our most important of days:
Lenny and Rameer Day.
To the new people in the TSL that may be reading this and going “Who are Lenny and Rameer?” let me tell you. Lenny and Rameer were two of the most influential people in the TSL’s history. Lenny, to start, was Topper’s best friend and it was he who decided “Eff it, let's start our own league” many moons ago. Lenny was there, making the phone calls to every team in the league (along with Topper, and I believe Scott Airey if memory serves me) to tell them “we’re done with this nonsense, we have the Rose Garden, do you want to join us?”. After some intense negotiations, a good chunk of the teams (including my own) went with Lenny/Topper and the TSL was born. Lenny was a larger than life personality, and as Commissioner of the TSL he was constantly found roaming the fields, meeting new people in the league, and becoming best friends with them. He relished being able to know as many people in his league as possible, and in turn he got them to be a part of his many shenanigans that he pulled. He would buy you a drink, ask you about your game, but then immediately move on from football and would ask you about your grandmother’s sauce recipe, if you’re Pro-Bs Brother, or just how you’re doing. Once you were “in” with Lenny, there was no getting out (unless you tried to pay a bill when he wasn’t looking). He’d bombard you with text messages, and if your phone rang and you saw “Lenny Alba” was on the phone, you immediately knew you were stuck for a minimum of 45 minutes. In fact, the only thing longer than a Lenny phone call was a Rameer email. To say that Lenny is a big reason you’re here is an understatement. He got people to write for the website (Hi.), he was bored and started a podcast that still goes today, he once made a wheel with all of the teams on it and whoever it landed on got a $100 bar tab. And those are just off the top of my head. Everyone who knew him has about 20 Lenny stories, minimum. Which is nothing compared to the man himself, who always seemed to have a story about something or someone no matter what. He didn’t like making things about himself, it was always about pumping up the members of the league, putting them first, making them feel included. He was a great man, and he was taken too soon from us. It’s hard to believe it’s been over 4 years now.
And then there was Rameer. It turns out that Topper and Lenny didn’t always agree on stuff. Crazy, I know. At some point, Rameer worked his way into being the “third man” of the TSL, being the “deciding” vote when Topper and Lenny needed it. Rameer had played in the league for a while, and was always asking Topper/Lenny if they needed help. Eventually, he became the Director of Officiating, which was a fun way to say “he’s doing the ref schedule because Topper and Lenny didn’t want to anymore”. Rameer was a lot like Lenny in that the inclusion of new people mattered to him. But he’d do it differently. Lenny might make a story about you, or make a $1 bet that he could turn you into a star (Hey Boccio!). Rameer would find you, saddle up next to you, and just talk to you. All too often he’d see a new person, walk up to them directly and say “Who the hell are you?” but in a fun way to get them to open up quickly. It worked. Rameer made you feel included right away, he’d find something he’d like about you and talk to you about it (Syracuse, football, music, whatever) and before you knew it, you had a friend for life. Rameer also had a way of noticing if you were “off” certain weeks. He’d keep it to himself, and when he saw you were alone for a minute, then he’d walk over just to ask if you were okay. If you weren’t, he’d genuinely ask what’s wrong and if you’d like to talk about it. And then he’d listen and be there for you. He’d offer advice. He cared. And he’d check in later on in the week to see how you were doing. And he did this for everybody (until you pissed him off for one reason or another and he excommunicated you). The self proclaimed “dirtiest player in the game” was actually one of the nicest people the TSL ever had to offer. When Lenny passed, Rameer stepped up and helped Topper immensely with getting the league going. He cherished that role, because he knew what the league meant to so many people. When he got his cancer diagnosis, he did everything he could to keep things from being about him. He only announced it to the league because he didn’t want anyone to get any information wrong (Go look at the last “The Rant” if you don’t believe me). Rameer fought like hell, but he unfortunately lost his battle. He passed on June 4th, Lenny’s birthday.
The TSL gets called a lot of things. A family, a drinking league that plays football sometimes, a cult, you name it. But the bottom line is that no matter what this league is to you personally, these two were the biggest reasons besides Topper himself of why that is. So yeah, you’re going to play football this weekend. You may win, you may lose, you may tie. But none of those games matter. All that matters this weekend is getting together with your friends, your family, and toasting to two amazing human beings that were taken from us much too soon.
But, onto the games I guess. . .
D1:
Last Week’s Games:
Sticky Bandits 30, Eyes Downtown 28
Tight Ends In Motion 26, Scared Hitless 14
Frodo Swaggins 60, Losing Streak 45
Sticky comes back from 22 points down to steal a game away from a very spry Eyes Downtown team that’s been showing they’re not an afterthought. Tight Ends In Motion hangs out in D1 limbo, preparing to pull an upset in the playoffs with a win over Scared Hitless. And Frodo Swaggins gets the biggest win of their season, pulling out a 60-45 victory over Losing Streak!
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: There isn’t much at stake here as Sticky clinched the #1 seed, and Legends are locked in #2. However with Frodo’s win over Losing Streak, seeds 3-6 are all up in the air for next week. Scared Hitless and Grey Hair are locked into the 7 and 8 seeds, but not sure who will be where just yet.
Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo has to be feeling really good after that huge win over Losing Streak, and now they’re looking to ruin Sticky’s perfect season. Sticky has been good, not great the last few weeks, but they’re still getting the job done. As fun as it would be for Frodo to slay another giant, I don’t see it happening. STICKY BANDITS BY 8
Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - GHDC hasn’t played since May 20th, which can’t ever be considered a good thing. Scared Hitless has been playing, but it hasn’t been going well. These two teams are batting for the right to play…the Legends. The loser gets Sticky. Sounds fun. SCARED HITLESS BY 3
Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) - Eyes Downtown has been really good as of late, but they don’t have the wins to show for it. They lose to Losing Streak, Legends, and Sticky all by one score and arguably should’ve won them all. They can’t be counted out. They’re a few steps ahead of Tight Ends, who are playing better than in the past, but just aren’t quite there yet. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10
Legends vs Losing Streak (+7) - The dream of Losing Streak sneaking into the 2nd seed died when they got dunked on by Frodo, so they’re looking to retool and head into the playoffs with a huge win over the Legends. A win this week would show the Frodo loss was a fluke. Everyone has bad days, right? The Legends have been chugging along and have been arguably the best D1 team since that Week 2 loss to Sticky. LEGENDS BY 3
D2:
Last Week’s Games:
No Punt Intended 36, Practice Squad 21
The Untouchaballs 24, Mavericks 16
Freeballers 30, Practice Squad 21
Not much to say here for D2. NPI and The Untouchaballs continue their probable run to the championship game. Freeballers are making things spicy with the return of QB Dylan Jaloza, who I was originally told was out for the season. Very Willis Reed of him. And Practice Squad continues to try, but it’s not looking good right now. Then again, it didn’t look good last season either. And we know how that went.
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: Unfortunately, the lack of “ladder matches” makes this a less interesting week. Untouchaballs are locked into the 1 seed, and NPI is the 2 seed. Neither of them will have to play next week. The intrigue comes from who will be the 3 seed? A Mavericks loss to Practice Squad, coupled with a Freeballers win over the Untouchaballs would give the Ballers the 3 seed and the bye, and put the Mavs in the 4-5 game next week. Practice Squad has clinched the 5 seed.
The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+10) - How fun would it be for the Untouchaballs to lose on purpose to mess with the Mavericks? Burr doesn’t lose on purpose though. The Freeballers might be peaking at the right time, but their future is the 4-5 seed game next week. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10
Mavericks vs Practice Squad (+10) - The Mavericks have had a really nice first season in the TSL. I’m sure they’d have liked a few more wins, but wouldn’t everyone? What matters is that their scoring is as good as anyone’s here, and the defense is improving weekly. I don’t want to kick Practice Squad while they’re down, but they might need one more difference maker on offense. MAVERICKS BY 10
D3:
Last Week’s Games;
Can’t Touch This 41, Wanderers 38
Jabronies 54, Bullet Club 8
Vaspian 32, Itches and Ohs 22
Degeneration Sexy 42, Vaspian 34
Itches and Ohs 32, Let's Get Reccked 29
Another fun week in the TSL’s most fun division. CTT comes in clutch with ANOTHER big win, this time over the Wanderers. The Jabronies beat the tar out of Bullet Club. Vaspian continues their ascent in the standings with a win over Itches, only to lose to D-Sex right after. Itches would go on to win their second game, a nailbiter over LGR. D3 is nuts.
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: Seeding, and that’s about it. It doesn’t matter who any of these teams play in the playoffs, there are no “easy” games. The Jabronies have the 1 seed locked up, and CTT is the 2 seed with the win against the Wanderers. But after that? Chaos.
Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+3) - A rematch of a controversial Week 1 game where Bullet Club got the win on the last play after a Wanderers penalty nullified a game winning TD. Since that game, the Wanderers have gone on to have 1 score games against everyone but the Jabronies, and Bullet Club has gone 1-4, losing close ones to everyone but the Jabronies. These two seem quite similar, which means it's the Wanderers turn to win, potentially setting up a rubber match in the playoffs. WANDERERS BY 2
Let's Get Reccked vs Degeneration Sexy (+3) - D-Sex has been better as of late, getting in some wins. They’re peaking at the right time for sure. LGR is still a bit of an enigma, and their 3-3-1 record shows that. A win gives them a shot at the 3 seed. A D-Sex win gives them a shot at the 6 seed. Not sure who wants it more. LETS GET RECCKED BY 1
Jabronies vs Itches and Ohs (+7) - This game means nothing for the Jabronies, but that doesn’t mean they’ll play it that way. Itches and Ohs picked up right where they left off a couple of weeks ago, but they’re perhaps a little too inconsistent to compete with the best team in D3. JABRONIES BY 10
D4:
Last Week’s Games:
Buffalo Vice 28, Travis Henry’s Kids 26
Cunning Stunts 34, BAADies 16
Cunning Stunts 44, Passing While Intoxicated 22
Puckett All-Stars 24, Cobblestone 14
Passing While Intoxicated 41, Creekers 27
Buffalo Vice knocks off THK in a close one. The Cunning Stunts reminded everyone just who they are as they improved to 5-2 after wins over the BAADies and PWI. PWI would go on to win a game later against the Creekers. Puckett proceeds to barely get by Darryl and Cobblestone.
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: Seedings a plenty! Vice takes on Puckett for the #1 seed and the right to play the #8 seeded Creekers. Everything else is a jumbled mess that will work itself out.
Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - Remember when Puckett was going to destroy everyone and waltz to the title? They haven’t been quite the same in a couple of weeks. They’re still playing well, but not as lights out as before. Buffalo Vice handed Puckett a 53-46 loss two weeks ago, and now the stakes are even bigger as I’m sure either team would much rather play the Creekers over whoever ends up in 7th place. Puckett gets revenge. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 5
Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+7) - Is there any team that’s having more fun than PWI? If you ignore the whole “life saving” situation, this team always represents at the bar and on the field. They’re 4-2-1 and they’re a contender for the D4 title. Buddy has been a great QB for them, and the girls are really making strides as players. It's everything you could ask for. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 10
BAADies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - Both of these teams come into the game at 3-4 and they’re both falling a little short of their own expectations. They both score well, but they both struggle on defense. If they don’t shore that up, it’ll be a quick playoff run for both of them. THK’s girls are reportedly playing better, but they’re still not quite on the BAADies’ level. BAADIES BY 3.
Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+20) - The Stunts are B-A-C-K. Whatever hiccups they had in the beginning of the season are long gone and Joey and the ladies have been dominant since a 1-2 start to the year. They have an outside chance at yet another division title if Vice and Puckett tie. Probably not going to happen, but it’s there. They’re morphing into D4 favorites. The Creekers are having fun, or so I’ve been told. It’s always tough being a new team placed in a division too high. I look forward to seeing how they perform in D5/D6 in the fall. CUNNING STUNTS BY 24
D5:
Last Week’s Games:
Not So Sticky 21, TMA 20
GUCCI 26, Tater Tots 24
Come From Behind 34, Long Balls 14
NSS squeaks by TMA in a close one between two teams falling short of preseason expectations. GUCCI takes out the Tots (who lose ANOTHER close one) to continue to reign supreme in D5. Come From Behind just keeps doing what they’ve done for 4 decades: Win. This time the Long Balls were the victims.
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: GUCCI can clinch the #1 seed with a win in either of their two games thanks to their 35-34 win over Come From Behind a few weeks ago. If they lose both and CFB wins, CFB gets the 1 seed. The rest of the division is a mess though, as the 3-8 seeds can all be shaken up with this week’s results.
Come From Behind vs TMA (+10) - When was the last time we saw TMA in last place in the division? I don’t think that’s happened since they were more focused on moonshine than football. After a promising start, they’ve gone 0-5. It’s been a tough season for TMA. CFB keeps moving right along, the only D5 team that’s scored over 200 points right now also has its best defense too. I don’t know how they’ve lost twice. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12
Tater Tots vs Goatsack! (+3) - The Tots keep losing close ones and they sit at 2-4-1. It’s very misleading, and with some help they can climb to the 3 seed where they would be justified in feeling like they should be there anyway. Goatsack has been quietly moving up the standings themselves, and they’ve already beaten the Tots once. It’s hard to beat the same team twice. TATER TOTS BY 2
GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+10) - GUCCI has been killing it, Kelly Kane is on the QB Rankings list, and life is good for the D5 leaders. NSS snuck out a win last weekend, but they have such extreme issues on offense this season (blame Jeff Krol for taking Christine out of action) that it just doesn’t look like their year. GUCCI rolls. GUCCI BY 17
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls had a chance to really step up last weekend and instead they fell short against CFB. They shouldn’t feel upset about that though, they’re a great team. ILF has been moving pieces around, trying to find a winning formula, and I think it’s safe to say that they’re in a good spot. This should be a good game. ILF BY 7
GUCCI vs ILF (+7) - The Falcons get two really good opponents this weekend. There’s no shame in going 1-1. GUCCI BY 3
D6:
Last Week’s Games:
Southside 45, Sausage McMuffins 14
Grass Eaters 39, Balls Deep 22
Mighty Drunks 28, Back That Pass Up 0
Two Tuddies 42, Pit Harade 0
Two Tuddies 21, Sausage McMuffins 0 (forfeit)
D6 had a lot of easy victories this past week. Southside continues to roll over D6, walking to a big win over the McMuffins. The Grass Eaters didn’t miss a beat, winning by 17 over Balls Deep. And then the Mighty Drunks shutout BTPU, while the Two Tuddies shutout Pit Harade and then got a forfeit win over the McMuffins.
This Week’s Games:
What’s At Stake: Southside’s win over the Two Tuddies means they’ve clinched the 1 seed in D6, while the Tud Buds will be the 2 seed. Back That Pass Up has clinched the 9 seed, where they’ll play either Pit Harade or the Mighty Drunks in the 8-9 game. The other team will be the 7 seed. Seeds 3-6, like all of the other divisions, is chaos and can go all sorts of ways.
Grass Eaters vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - BTPU has been struggling to score and struggling to stop anyone. Such is the life of a brand new football team. They get a Grass Eaters team that knows the game inside and out and will be nearly impossible to stop from doing whatever they want. GRASS EATERS BY 18
Southside vs Pit Harade (+17) - Southside can score. Pit Harade can’t stop anyone. It’s a pretty awful mix for a brand new team going up against the top seed. But hey, if you’re Southside, it's sort of like a bye week before the playoffs. SOUTHSIDE BY 15
Grass Eaters vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - This should be a very good matchup. Here we have two very good teams that know how to play football, and provided they play to their abilities, this has all of the makings of a Game of the Day. It comes down to who blinks first. Historically, that’s been Blitzkrieg. GRASS EATERS BY 2
Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+3) - Balls Deep isn’t getting the respect they maybe deserve. They DID beat Southside after all, but getting blown out but the Tuddies, beating the Drunks by 1, and allowing 45 to BTPU (even if they won) shows they’re too inconsistent currently. BLITZKRIEG BY 12
Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - The Drunks have really gotten it together as of late, beating the McMuffins and BTPU. But with one score losses to Balls Deep and Southside, maybe we should’ve seen this coming? The Tuddies are oh so close to a 7-1 final record, and they’re arguably playing some of the best football in the TSL, not just D6. The Drunks should be happy with how they’ve progressed, and they should look to the Tuddies as an example of what they can become very, very soon. TWO TUDDIES BY 3
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
- What about the wildfires and air quality warnings? The TSL is monitoring the situation closely. If there’s a point where the games are unsafe to play, they’ll be canceled, and you’ll all be notified as soon as possible.
- Will those games be made up? Nope. If the last week of the season gets canceled, the playoffs will still start next weekend. The TSL won’t push games into the July 4th weekend (or take two weeks off and play AFTER that. Who would do such a thing?).
- What surprises are we getting for Lenny and Rameer Day? It appears that the Rose Garden will have food and drink specials. I believe there will be a dunk tank (that is just ripe for Breakfast Club bets), and a slip and slide too. Not to mention a table for various alcoholic gaming activities.
- How’s Breakfast Club going? The playoffs for Breakfast Club start at 9am this week. Not surprisingly, Steph’s team has a bye week. Surprisingly, Becca’s does too.
- With Josh Allen on the cover of Madden 24, does this mean the return of B’s Brother’s TSL Madden team? Only Jeffrey can answer that, but it used to be a giant honor for B’s Brother to create your player in Madden and place you on his team. Hopefully he brings this rite of passage back.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:
- Breakfast Club Playoff Predictions:
- The VaJennas 37, The Ash Slinging Slashers 31
- Liddle Dubs 40, Komosexuals 34
- I got to listen to this week’s podcast yesterday and I have to say that Frank from Wanderers is must listen radio. Lenny would be proud.
- Best Games To Watch:
- 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Wanderers
- 11:00 - Cobblestone vs Passing While Intoxicated
- 12:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Grass Eaters
- 1:00 - ILF vs Long Balls
- 2:00 - Legends vs Losing Streak
- 3:00 - Itches and Ohs vs Jabronies
- Three teams that are getting hot at the right time: Vaspian, Grass Eaters, Eyes Downtown. Future Bracket Busters.
- I wonder how many times a regular season #1 seed has actually won the championship?
- Assuming the air is breathable, Saturday is shaping up to be a perfect day for football.
- Word is that the fields will be worked on in the offseason between sessions. They also said an indoor facility would start being built, so perhaps temper your expectations.
- The Wine Tournament is officially August 5th, teams are already starting to form. Make sure you don’t miss out on the mega event of the summer!
- Extra reminder to be nice to the refs this week. The last thing you’d want is to be suspended for the playoffs.
- It’s amazing how fast a season flies by. It seems like just yesterday Jeff reached out to me to see if I was still going to write this article, and all of a sudden we’re heading to the playoffs.
Remember, this week is a week for celebrating and having a good time. Next week is when the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality truly begins.
We miss you Lenny and Rameer.
-GF OUT
PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS AND STUFF
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Friday, 16 June 2023 12:54
- Published: Friday, 16 June 2023 12:54
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Hits: 2508
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, June 17th in the Year of Our Lord 2023, at 9:00am Eastern Standard Time, with the weather projected to be a Sunny Day, just around 75 degrees fahrenheit, with the wind coming from the Northwest at about 12 miles per hour, IT OFFICIALLY BEGINS.
That’s right, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality begins this weekend. Anything you’ve done in the two months prior to this moment? Forget it, it doesn’t matter. The TSL Regular Season is all about fun, football, and friendship tied in with a little bit of learning about your opponents. But this week? This week is about winning. This week is what some teams have been waiting for since the end of the Fall 2022 session, to see if their offseason improvements to themselves, to see that whoever they swayed to come play for them over another team, and to see if all of the work they’ve put in over the last EIGHT months (including a stop for some in the indoor league) was worth it.
This weekend, 47 of the TSL’s 52 teams will take the field to stake their claim to one of the TSL’s 7 championships that are available to them (you’re forgetting about Breakfast Club, it counts). Every single TSL season is its own entity, chock full of twists and turns that people weren’t expecting and the Spring 2023 season is no different. The only teams that don’t have a game the rest of the way are the two Breakfast Club teams that lost last weekend. This season, there is no “In Memoriam” section of this article. Every single team has a sudden death playoff game in their future which means the potential for crazy, unexpected upsets looms large. Is it out of the question for our only 8-0 team this season, the Sticky Bandits, to lose to Scared Hitless? It’s improbable, but no! What about our 0-8 teams this year? Could Back That Pass Up find the magic to beat the Mighty Drunks in the D6 8-9 matchup to move onto Southside? Sure could. Could the Creekers come in and beat up on Buffalo Vice? If all of Buffalo Vice gets food poisoning tonight, I could see it! Would anyone be surprised if Practice Squad beat the Freeballers? Nope.
And that’s the big point here, that no matter how poorly or how well things went for you over the last eight weeks, the slate is cleaned. Playoff Saturday is one of the best days on the sports calendar. As I’ve said before, it’s right up there with the first weekend of March Madness where lower seeds CONSTANTLY upset higher seeds. A #1 seed is going to get upset somewhere, but who is it? We’ll see some stuff happening this weekend you never expected. It’s almost nearly as hard to have a perfect “TSL bracket” as it is anything else. And the thing is, dear reader, that you might be on that team that is going to pull the big upset. Conversely, you may be on the “sure thing” that won’t be playing next week. The only TSL teams that are guaranteed to have a game next weekend are The Untouchaballs, No Punt Intended, and the Mavericks in D2. They have the joy of the bye week thanks to the 5 team D2 that we have this year.
Your shot at Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins this weekend. The field is set. By this time next weekend, only 26 of the 52 of you will remain. Only HALF of you will have a shot next week to call yourselves a TSL Champion. This is where the best and the brightest do battle. Do you have what it takes to win it all? Or will you crumble under the spotlight? At the end of the day, most of you will fail. But who’s it going to be?
Let’s try to figure it all out. . .
(Remember, the stats in the “Tale of the Tape” below are relative to team’s divisions, with the exception of the “TSL Rank” which of course comes from a team’s overall ranking in the league relative to things Topper decided on a decade ago and we still run with it.)
D1:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
Sticky Bandits (3-1)
Legends (3-1)
Losing Streak (5-1)
Eyes Downtown (10-1)
The Upsetters:
Tight Ends In Motion (12-1)
Frodo Swaggins (15-1)
The Pretenders:
Grey Hair Don’t Care (20-1)
Scared Hitless (35-1)
The Story: The Sticky Bandits finished the TSL’s only undefeated this season at 8-0 (because now that Jeff Krol runs things, he gets that favoritism Topper used to get). They did earn it however, having a top offense and defense in the division. The Legends bookended the season with losses, but in between they put on a show. Losing Streak has had a great season in their return, and as long as they keep clicking on offense, there may not be any stopping them. Eyes Downtown is right where they always are, in the mix and ready to pull off an upset. Tight Ends In Motion didn’t have the greatest season in team history, but you can’t count them out. Frodo Swaggins really came on at the end of the season and they’re a dark horse pick to make some noise. Grey Hair and Scared Hitless may not have won too many games, but you absolutely can NOT sleep on them. It took a few seasons, but D1 is getting as competitive as it used to be again.
#1 Sticky Bandits (8-0) vs #8 Scared Hitless (1-7)
Points For: SB 35.00 (2nd), SH 18.63 (8th)
Points Against: SB 21.00 (1st), SH 35.00 (7th)
TSL Rank: SB 1st, SH 49th
Past Games: 37 - 0 SB
Line: Sticky Bandits (-17)
It would be really, really fun to immediately predict this upset off the bat, wouldn’t it? The problem is that Sticky has been so dominant on both sides of the ball, Scared Hitless would pretty much have to pitch the TSL’s version of a perfect game here. Sticky is much too aware of the upset Scared Hitless pulled in the recent playoffs, so they’re not going to allow themselves to get too comfortable in this one. If you would’ve told me at the end of the Fall session that Sticky would lose Laura Streeter and Christine Krol, and somehow end up being better, I’d have laughed in your face. But Mike Thomas took another step forward, and the Nicole Sharick/Brandy Clarke duo has been amazing. Scared Hitless showed some moxie after a rough start to the season, and probably deserved another win or two along the way that they just didn’t get. They’re going to play their hearts out in this one, but I feel they’re going to fall short. STICKY BANDITS BY 10
#2 Legends (6-2) vs #7 Grey Hair Don’t Care (2-6)
Points For: Legends 34.88 (3rd), GHDC 25.63 (6th)
Points Against: Legends 23.88 (2nd), GHDC 32.63 (6th)
TSL Rank: Legends 8th, GHDC 45th
Past Games: 42 - 18 Legends
Line: Legends (-14)
The reigning and defending champions of D1 strut into the playoffs feeling confident. It’s hard not to feel that way when you can put out a roster that has Sean, Mel, Heather, Travis Cleavenger-Bernal, Michael Boccio-Bernal, Maddie, and of course Joey Batts slinging that rock. And there’s more talent I didn’t even name. Legends lost early to Sticky, and then ran through the division, with their other loss coming last week in a game that didn’t matter for them against Losing Streak. They’re good on both sides of the ball, and they’re hard to beat. Grey Hair gets some props for really holding their own a bit in D1. They played a bit of a wacky schedule, and I think that hurt them a little overall, but Dave’s team has some talent as well. Grey Hair trots out the most “underrated” superstars in the league like Nick Voss and Amber Hay, and the strides George Lombardo and Jessie Kieta have made the last few seasons shouldn’t go unnoticed. Improving is a good thing, and hopefully they can run it back next season with more experience. LEGENDS BY 13
#3 Losing Streak (5-3) vs #6 Frodo Swaggins (3-5)
Points For: LS 35.63 (1st), FS 30.38 (4th)
Points Against: LS 27.38 (3rd), FS 36.50 (8th)
TSL Rank: LS 17th, FS 39th
Past Games: 60 - 45 Frodo
Line: Losing Streak (-3)
Finally, we start to get a little spicy here. Losing Streak trotted out the best offense in D1 this season, which should come as no surprise. Jordan has done a terrific job of filling his roster with talent this season. Everyone knows his males have been good, but Losing Streak needed a boost on the female side of things. Add Crystal and Robin to an improving Brit Matthews, and we’ve got ourselves a hell of a trio. This is the best team Jordan has put into the TSL to date, and I’m excited to see what they do now that things are getting real. Their first test? Frodo Swaggins, who had a hell of a season themselves to start, as Garrett really needed to figure out how being a D1 QB worked. Safe to say he’s found it. With Katie Swanson (alongside newcomers Tori and Sarah) playing well, and the consistently underrated Josh Schnieder, Blake Fisher, and Andrew Alessi doing great things on the field, Frodo has really earned some respect in D1. However, they have Losing Streak wide awake after that upset a couple of weeks ago, and they won’t be able to sneak up on them this time. LOSING STREAK BY 7
#4 Eyes Downtown (4-4) vs #5 Tight Ends In Motion (3-5)
Points For: ED 30.25 (5th), TEIM 22.88 (7th)
Points Against: ED 28.75 (5th), TEIM 28.13 (4th)
TSL Rank: ED 27th, TEIM 32nd
Past Games: 19 - 8 ED, 42 - 34 ED
Line: Eyes Downtown (-7)
There’s nothing quite like a 4-5 seed matchup in the TSL playoffs, and this game is no different. Bobby has righted the ship after some early struggles, and ED is playing pretty good football. The team is a little different than it used to be, but everyone has still bought in to “doing their job” (Blase LaDuca, for instance, is thriving as a pass rusher) and so many talented females on one roster, alongside a QB who’s been doing this for forever, ED looks to make some noise this playoff season. TEIM isn’t having their best season, and that’s okay. There were always going to be some growing pains as they adjusted to Andy Smigiera at QB. This team still has all the talent in the world, it’s just been more about getting everyone on the same page. The experience they gained this season will be incredibly helpful in the Fall. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10
D2:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
The Untouchaballs (2-1)
No Punt Intended (4-1)
Mavericks (8-1)
The Pretenders:
Freeballers (15-1)
Practice Squad (20-1)
The Story: It’s not much of a story because we only had 5 teams in D2 this time around. The Untouchaballs have been SO GOOD on defense and that’s helped them finish first overall. After a close loss (on the last play, I think) to start the season, UT hasn’t lost since. NPI has looked very good with Travis throwing. The Mavs have been a fun team, scoring a bunch of points, but looking a little lost on the defensive side of things at times. The Freeballers have had an up and down season, mostly due to a QB injury to Dylan who was out for the season, but now he’s not apparently. And Practice Squad lost a LOT of close games this season. After last year, where they finished last and won the whole damn thing, I refuse to count them out.
#4 Freeballers (3-5) vs #5 Practice Squad (0-8)
Points For: FB 26.50 (4th), PS 23.25 (5th)
Points Against: FB 31.25 (4th), PS 35.88 (5th)
TSL Rank: FB 37th, PS 50th
Past Games: 34 - 29 FB, 30 - 21 FB
Line: Freeballers (-6)
The D2 “Play in” game has a lot of intrigue. As I said before, the Freeballers had to deal with a QB injury that messed with their season. They have their usual talent on the roster, but then they added Brit Clarke and Adrian Cannon to the squad. They definitely had higher hopes, and it all just kind of fell apart on them. But, Dylan’s back, and I think they have something starting to cook here. Practice Squad might’ve just run out of juice. They won D6. They lost D5 in OT. They won D4. They finished 8th and won D3. They have no reason to hang their heads at this lost season. But that’s not how they work. They’re still the same talented team that won D3, and there’s ZERO reason they can’t do it again. Look for B to be locked in here, and big games from their girls can go a long way. Perhaps they rush their fastest player to put pressure on the injured QB? Might work. This will be a close one. FREEBALLERS BY 1
D3:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
Jabronies (4-1)
Can’t Touch This (5-1)
Bullet Club (5-1)
Let’s Get Reccked (5-1)
Wanderers (5-1)
Itches and Ohs (5-1)
Degeneration Sexy (6-1)
Vaspian (6-1)
The Pretenders:
None.
The Story: If the TSL could create a “perfect” league, there would be 8 teams in each division, and they’d all be exactly how D3 has been this season. Every single team in this division has a shot at winning the title. Would you be surprised if Vaspian won the title? Maybe, but you shouldn’t be. They were only a few points away from being 5-3. And they finished 8th? The Jabronies have earned the best odds going into the playoffs, as they walked out of the regular season with the best offense and defense rankings wise, but they also lost to the 5th and 6th seeds this year. Everyone has had some good wins, bad losses, and everything in between. The playoffs in D3 are going to be crazy.
#1 Jabronies (6-2) vs #8 Vaspian (2-5-1)
Points For: Jabronies 35.86 (1st), Vaspian 26.50 (8th)
Points Against: Jabronies 26.71 (1st), Vaspian 30.13 (4th)
TSL Rank: Jabronies 9th, Vaspian 41st
Past Games: 27 - 26 Jabronies
Line: Jabronies (-7)
These two met a few weeks ago and the Jabronies were lucky to escape with a 1 point win. That’s how close the margin is here. Joe Miano has been slinging the ball all over the field, which is a lot easier when you have Eric and Bro Klecker out there catching the ball. The rest of the team are no slouches either. Meanwhile Vaspian has had a typical Vaspian season: they play REALLY good defense and keep the game score low. The addition of Drew Colosimo, of course, has been a big help, but their females have all been low key good as well. If the defense can get a turnover or two, Vaspian can do this. And I mean, there’s no way all the 1 seeds survive anyway. VASPIAN BY 2
#2 Can’t Touch This (5-3) vs #7 Degeneration Sexy (3-5)
Points For: CTT 35.25 (2nd), D-Sex 31.00 (3rd)
Points Against: CTT 31.13 (5th), D-Sex 36.13 (8th)
TSL Rank: CTT 18th, D-Sex 38th
Past Games: 42 - 32 CTT
Line: Can’t Touch This (-8)
Can’t Touch This has had another awesome season, as all of the players on the team continue to grow into pretty good footballers. They’ve taken an 0-2 start and have gone 5-1 since. CTT only gets themselves into trouble when they rely too much on the long ball, and this season has seen them get a pretty good mix going. D-Sex has just been cruising along this season, before really ramping it up the last few weeks. They’re scoring a lot of points and playing much better defense. Scotty Dro has been quite good, which isn’t hard to be when you have a lot of Kellers around you. This game is going to be close (take the over if you’re betting) and I spent a lot of time thinking about who will win. At the end of the day, give me the team with the best female, and that’s Katie Keller without a doubt. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 2
#3 Bullet Club (4-4) vs #6 Let’s Get Reccked (3-4-1)
Points For: BC 28.13 (6th), LGR 30.00 (5th)
Points Against: BC 29.50 (3rd), LGR 27.50 (2nd)
TSL Rank: BC 20th, LGR 30th
Past Games: 24 - 22 LGR
Line: EVEN
This has Game of the Day potential right here. These two teams are pretty even across the board. They score about the same, they allow about the same. Their one game this season was a late comeback win for LGR by 2 points. Both teams have played mostly close games all year, and both teams’ “anomalies” were against the Jabronies. If you take away BC’s 54-8 loss to Jabronies two weeks ago, they were on track to have the best defense in D3. The other 3 losses were by a combined 5 points. There’s talent on the BC side with Pistol Pete, Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes, Nick Buczek, and “maybe he should give up QB and just play WR” John Langley. LGR trots out Alex Buchlis, Dave Baker, and Ricky Recckio. BC may have a slight edge with their females. This feels like a game that should go down to the wire. BULLET CLUB BY 1
#4 Wanderers (4-4) vs #5 Itches and Ohs (4-4)
Points For: Wanderers 30.63 (4th), Ohs 27.86 (7th)
Points Against: Wanderers 32.13 (7th), Ohs 31.29 (6th)
TSL Rank: Wanderers 21st, Ohs 22nd
Past Games: 26 - 20 Wanderers
Line: EVEN
Oh wait, THIS might be the Game of the Day. Two teams that play very smart, take their time, and like having the ball in their hands to end the game. The Wanderers have been nothing short of fun to watch this season, as just about every single game they’ve had has come down to the wire. Frank might be from a different planet, but there’s nothing you can say about his play. He can QB with the best of them. Of course it helps when you have players like Sal and Nick there for you every week. The TSL doesn’t know enough about Tiffany and Laura either, they can really play. The whole team can. Itches and Ohs knows about them though. Steve Moser is a very good QB. You know exactly what he’s going to do: Throw to Rylee, walk down the field, and score on 5th or 6th down. He doesn’t love going deep, he loves running the clock down and controlling as much of the game as possible. It’s worked for him. He has a very solid complement of males as well in Jeremy, Andrew, and Colorado Mike. This is a smart team, and smart goes a long way in the TSL. They’re both smart. Someone film this entire game, it’ll be a good one. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1
D4:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
Buffalo Vice (3-1)
Cunning Stunts (4-1)
Puckett All-Stars (4-1)
Passing While Intoxicated (6-1)
BAADies (6-1)
The “We Have John Langley So Who Knows What Will Happen”s
Travis Henry’s Kids (13-1)
The Pretenders:
Cobblestone (17-1)
Creekers (100000-1)
The Story: Buffalo Vice’s midseason slip up against Cobblestone took them off everyone’s radar before two massive wins over Puckett put them back on the map, and painted a target on their backs. The gender teams, in their first three games, were 1-2 (Stunts) and 0-3 (BAADies). Since then? They’ve gone 9-1, and the one loss was the Stunts beat the BAADies. They’ve been on a tear, and this entire division should be scared. Puckett were the early darlings with some absolute whippings they were putting on people, but they’ve since come down to Earth and have been a little humbled by the two losses to Vice. PWI just continues to roll along, getting better, and doing what they do best: lurking as they enter the playoffs. THK is CLOSE to the teams above them, but they’re missing one piece to really get things moving in the right direction. Cobblestone can absolutely beat you if you sleep on them, but it’s hard to sleep on Darryl Carr QB Superstar. And the Creekers are here too.
#1 Buffalo Vice (6-2) vs #8 Creekers (0-8)
Points For: Vice 39.88 (2nd), Creekers 19.71 (8th)
Points Against: Vice 30.50 (2nd), Creekers 41.43 (8th)
TSL Rank: Vice 6th, Creekers 52nd
Past Games: 44 - 14 Vice
Line: Buffalo Vice (-20)
I’m sorry, the Creekers. I feel bad that a new team with potential got put into a division they weren’t ready for, and I fear it sullied your experience. You have talent, but its talent that needs to figure out how Social Co-Ed Touch Football works. You have budding superstar Mullet Guy. You wear Yellow which is pretty cool. Go to D6, start from the bottom, and work your way up. It’s worth it. The football is just as good. As for you, Buffalo Vice. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the magic you guys were showing earlier in the season and that’s on me. Andy Clark is slinging it better than ever, and it’s reminding me of the days of the “not too long ago” that you guys routinely threw up a bunch of points. The names mostly remain the same: All world Caitlyn Mason is here, and Amy is as well. Dan Gonzalez, Frank Pizza are too. The team is ready for a title. Is this the year? BUFFALO VICE BY 17
#2 Cunning Stunts (6-2) vs #7 Cobblestone (2-6)
Points For: CS 37.29 (4th), Cobblestone 24.25 (7th)
Points Against: CS 31.71 (3rd), Cobblestone 32.75 (5th)
TSL Rank: CS 10th, Cobblestone 47th
Past Games: 35 - 26 CS
Line: Cunning Stunts (-10)
What a treat! We have one of the greatest QB matchups the TSL gods could ever get us as Joey Batts takes on Darryl Carr QB Superstar! That alone is worth the watch. The Stunts come into the playoffs on a 5 game winning streak, and they’re looking really good. They’re beating everyone and it isn’t even close. While we see how good the offense is, the defense might be even better right now. Cobblestone has some talent in AD, Lesean, and Donte but they just haven’t been able to put it all together. Sadly, their girls aren’t at the level of the Clarkes, Kelly, Katie, Renee, etc and we all know that the only way to really beat the Stunts is with gender TDs to keep pace. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14
#3 Puckett All-Stars (5-2-1) vs #6 Travis Henry’s Kids (3-5)
Points For: PAS 42.00 (1st), THK 34.38 (6th)
Points Against: PAS 27.86 (1st), THK 39.13 (7th)
TSL Rank: PAS 12th, THK 36th
Past Games: 48 - 18 PAS
Line: Puckett All-Stars (-10)
It’s crazy to think that Puckett has the best offense AND defense in D4, yet they’re currently the 3 seed. Regardless, All We Do Is Puckett is playing really well, as long as they don’t play Buffalo Vice. There is some cause for concern however. In their first 5 games, Puckett didn’t score less than 46 points. In their last two? They’ve scored only 46. It seems like teams are catching up to them a little bit. Either way shout out to Puckett for a great season with what looks like mostly the same roster they’ve been trotting out for a few seasons now. They’re really starting to gel. THK goes as Langley goes. It isn’t even a joke. If John is “on”, they can be really good. We saw it in last year’s playoffs when they upset the Stunts. Having Pete and Aaron is huge (literally), and for THK it just always comes down to its girl play. Mackenzie Klun is fantastic, but the rest of the THK ladies are so up and down it's hard to get a read on them. If they come to play, THK will make this a game. I’m just not sure it’ll be enough. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 6
#4 Passing While Intoxicated (5-2-1) vs #5 BAADies (4-4)
Points For: PWI 36.29 (5th), BAADies 37.50 (3rd)
Points Against: PWI 31.71 (3rd), BAADies 35.88 (6th)
TSL Rank: PWI 13th, BAADies 26th
Past Games: 41 - 36 PWI
Line: EVEN
PWI has had a heck of a season in D4 so far. They’ve been good, and they’re contenders for the title. Alex “Buddy” Lee has really become a good QB, and their ladies consistently get better each week. However, it seems like Colorado Mike’s squad can’t stay healthy. Every week they seem to lose another player to a season ending injury. Eventually that takes its toll. They get the pleasure of taking on a BAADies team that’s 4-1 in their last 5 games, and taking away their loss to the Stunts, They’re averaging 54.33 points in the last month. In other words, they figured it out. A very hot gender team against a very banged up squad isn’t a recipe for success. BAADIES BY 10
D5:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
GUCCI (3-1)
Come From Behind (3-1)
Interdimensional Lighting Falcons (7-1)
Tater Tots (10-1)
The Pretenders:
Long Balls (12-1)
TMA (15-1)
Not So Sticky (15-1)
Goatsack! (18-1)
The Story: GUCCI comes back to the TSL after a season off and knocks the regular season out of the park. Come From Behind continues to do what they do best, win games. ILF and Tater Tots shook off some early struggles to get to .500. Long Balls had some life in their first season. TMA lost a few close games and are on a 6 game losing streak. Not So Sticky struggles with offense, Goatsack struggles with defense. This really feels like a two horse race this season.
#1 GUCCI (7-1) vs #8 TMA (2-6)
Points For: GUCCI 31.63 (2nd), TMA 22.50 (6th)
Points Against: GUCCI 21.88 (3rd), TMA 26.88 (6th)
TSL Rank: GUCCI 5th, TMA 49th
Past Games: 30 - 26 TMA
Line: GUCCI (-7)
GUCCI has been incredible all season, going to 7-1 and winning a lot of close games. Kelly Kane has been dialed in all season, and when she’s hot, everyone else is in trouble. GUCCI is incredibly consistent, there are no wild swings in Points For, which means they have a specific plan in mind and they’re sticking to it. Plus, they’re all a family. Listen to Kelly rave about her team on the newest podcast. They’re locked in, and they only had one hiccup this season. That hiccup? A 30-26 loss to TMA in Week 1. These two teams have gone in dramatically different directions since, but GUCCI isn’t forgetting that loss. TMA knew they’d have a tough time replacing all of the talent (and height!) they lost. It’s not easy losing 5ish starters from a roster, even if you have the players in house to step in for them. They’re not your typical 8 seed. They have 3 losses of 4 points or less. They very easily could’ve been the 3rd seed if a couple of bounces went their way. Val’s crew still has Ryan Henry behind center, and if he can get back to what worked in the first two games of this season, anything is possible, but it looks like an early exit for TMA. GUCCI BY 12
#2 Come From Behind (6-2) vs #7 Not So Sticky (3-5)
Points For: CFB 33.13 (1st), NSS 17.63 (8th)
Points Against: CFB 19.00 (1st), NSS 24.00 (4th)
TSL Rank: CFB 7th, NSS 40th
Past Games: 34 - 23 CFB
Line: Come From Behind (-10)
What do you get when a VERY good defense meets a pretty inept offense? Well, we’re about to find out. Come From Behind has been awesome on both sides of the football and they’ve held opponents to 2 scores or less 4 times this season. Paul Lovullo still throws the ball harder than anyone in the league, and like they have for a decade now, Molly, Leslie, and Jen are there to catch it. Yes, they have an influx of younger talent, but nobody cares about that. Not So Sticky has some of the nicest, most fun people in the league with Hot Vodka, Carly, Heidi, Paul Scinta, and Mike Thomas just to name a few. But being nice and scoring points aren’t correlated. QB Rags has been pretty awful at times, and this team clearly needs Christine back as soon as possible. This was arguably the worst possible matchup for NSS in the first round, hopefully they can make a game of it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 17
#3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (4-4) vs #6 Goatsack! (3-5)
Points For: ILF 25.13 (4th), Goatsack! 21.50 (7th)
Points Against: ILF 21.63 (2nd), Goatsack! 33.38 (8th)
TSL Rank: ILF 24th, Goatsack! 33rd
Past Games: 43 - 28 ILF
Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-8)
ILF had a rough start to the season when Joe Miano defected to the Jabronies and Karl Smith chose Not So Sticky. This left Andrew to play QB and the results were mixed. Instead they made a change at QB and the team has looked a little more dangerous. Ethan has been good, but so has Alex Baker. The ladies have all stepped up at different times and ILF is poised to make a run heading into the playoffs. Goatsack has had an up and down season. They had shutout losses to start and end the season, lost a couple of one score games, and pulled out a couple wins in the middle of the year. It's not the best season, but it's something to build on. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 10
#4 Tater Tots (3-4-1) vs #5 Long Balls (3-4-1)
Points For: TT 27.25 (3rd), LB 22.63 (5th)
Points Against: TT 26.13 (5th), LB 28.50 (7th)
TSL Rank: TT 28th, LB 29th
Past Games: 36 - 36 TIE
Line: Tater Tots (-6)
The 4-5 seed matchup features two teams that tied during the regular season and are ranked 28 and 29 in the TSL rankings. They have the same 3-4-1 record. But that’s about where the similarities end. The Tater Tots are much better than their record shows, and they possess a better offense and defense over the Long Balls. The Tots have Derek Pew throwing the ball all over the place, and Dave Marcus finally has his team dialed in. Drunk Meg has been playing some of her best football this season. The Long Balls have athletes, but they’re still figuring out how to be more consistent overall. They’re led by Buddy Lee and Jimmy Hearn, so they have players who have been there before. They’re going to get better and better as time goes on. TATER TOTS BY 3
D6:
Odds To Win The Championship:
The Contenders:
Southside (2-1)
Two Tuddies (3-1)
Grass Eaters (5-1)
The Talented Middle Teams That Could Surprise:
Sausage McMuffins (10-1)
Blitzkrieg (12-1)
Balls Deep (18-1)
The Pretenders:
Mighty Drunks (25-1)
Pit Harade (30-1)
Back That Pass Up (100-1)
The Story: Southside and Two Tuddies have been beating up on the competition as both look to go to D5 regardless next season. The Grass Eaters are being sneaky sitting at 5-3. The Sausage McMuffins were a great story early in the season but have since fallen off. Blitzkrieg and Balls Deep have been inconsistent. Mighty Drunks and Pit Harade have shown promise at times in the season but are ways away from competing for the title. Back That Pass Up had a very rough season that didn’t get any better with injuries.
#8 Mighty Drunks (2-6) vs #9 Back That Pass Up (0-8)
Points For: MD 24.25 (7th), BTPU (9th)
Points Against: MD 32.13 (7th), BTPU 36.13 (8th)
TSL Rank: MD 46th, BTPU 51st
Past Games: 28 - 0 MD
Line: Mighty Drunks (-10)
These two teams get to play a “play in” game of sorts and the winner gets to meet up with Southside an hour later. That doesn’t sound fun at all. BTPU didn’t have the season they envisioned when Alex started this team with Jeff May at QB and league sweetheart Tammy Buczek on board as well. Things didn’t go as planned, obviously, with injuries and missed games not helping the team gel the way they wanted to. The Drunks, however, overcame a rough start and have really figured things out as the season went on. Jill Dibble and Kenny Shearer have put together a team that’s not one you’re going to want to play in the playoffs. Cam almost seems uncoverable. There’s a lot to like with these Drunks. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 20
#1 Southside (7-1) vs #8/9 Seed Play In Winner
Points For: SS 37.00 (1st)
Points Against: SS 15.38 (1st)
TSL Rank: SS 2nd
Past Games: 43 - 12 SS (BTPU), 27 - 18 SS (MD)
Line: Southside (-10) (Drunks), (-20) (BTPU)
Southside hasn’t just been good, they’ve been great. A weird loss to Balls Deep ruined what should’ve been a perfect season. Tyler Cienmy can do whatever he wants behind center. The Gemmati sisters (I think) both hold their own. Sam Pezzino plays lock down defense. Everyone does something on this team and they do it well. Southside should probably get the Drunks who have been playing VERY well, and pose a little matchup issue for them (Southside only won by 9 not too long ago), but for the most part they should be fine. SOUTHSIDE BY 7 VS DRUNKS, SOUTHSIDE BY 30 VS BACK THAT PASS UP.
#2 Two Tuddies (7-1) vs #7 Pit Harade (2-6)
Points For: TT 32.71 (3rd), PH 21.63 (8th)
Points Against: TT 17.14 (2nd), PH 37.00 (9th)
TSL Rank: TT 3rd, PH 42nd
Past Games: 42 - 0 TT
Line: Two Tuddies (-14)
If Southside didn’t exist, we’d be talking about how the Tuddies should be walking into D5 regardless of how the playoffs shake out (and they probably should anyway). Ever since Nick Stutzman stepped in at QB, the Tud Buds have been playing better and better. They have a bunch of great players in Chris Wolcott, Valentino Tomasello, and Sarah Palazza. They have fun and they’ve figured it out. Hard to believe they were 0-9-1 not too long ago. Pit Harade has had an up and down season. They started off well, but they have since had a QB carousel of sorts that has really thrown them off course. Not having Nick Hawes or promising newcomer Rayanna for most of the season has hurt, but there’s still some silver linings. Jen and Ashley have been very good for PH and are better than most of the males on the team. Tall Bearded Guy (who I guess is named Mike) is always making plays. Tyler Bielec shows flashes of potential when on the field. Once they figure out how to play defense, they’ll be on the right path. At the very least, they can compete with anyone at the bar. TWO TUDDIES BY 17
#3 Sausage McMuffins (5-3) vs #6 Blitzkrieg (3-5)
Points For: SM 27.14 (5th), BK 25.75 (6th)
Points Against: SM 25.71 (3rd), BK 27.00 (4th)
TSL Rank: SM 14th, BK 35th
Past Games: 23 - 15 SM
Line: Sausage McMuffins (-2)
The Sausage McMuffins have awesome reversible jerseys and were the talk of the TSL when they were undefeated and taking the league by storm. Since then, they’ve seemed to come back down to Earth a bit. Alex Hill’s team still has a ton of potential being led by Eric Pochylski, but there’s something missing right now that I’m not sure what it is. Speaking of not living up to their potential, they play a Blitzkrieg team that’s having its worst regular season in what feels like forever. Sometimes the bounces don’t go your way, and I think that’s what they’re experiencing at this point. This game is going to be very close. Get Light Red Hoodie Guy out there and make him do what he does best, make plays. All too often, BK has been on the opposite end of a matchup like this and lost. Now it's their turn. BLITZKRIEG BY 7
#4 Grass Eaters (5-3) vs #5 Balls Deep (5-3)
Points For: GE 33.50 (2nd), BD 29.00 (4th)
Points Against: GE 27.00 (4th), BD 30.13 (6th)
TSL Rank: GE 15th, BD 19th
Past Games: 39 - 22 GE
Line: Grass Eaters (-6)
The Grass Eaters are underrated as a 4 seed, and it took a dumb suspension for them to be ranked this low. As you can see, the Moser clan has the 2nd best offense in D6, and they should. They run the Itches and ohs offense (throw to Rylee) with a different supporting cast. That isn’t to say Eric, Matt, Mike, Hailey, and Ryan aren’t capable. They are. But as long as Rylee is out there dusting D6 dudes as she’s been doing, it’ll be hard to stop them. Balls Deep feels like a team that’s CLOSE but not quite there. Yes, they beat Southside. But they also barely beat the Drunks, and they allowed 45 points to BTPU. They’re talented, with Baby Gronk rushing, and Payton and Ryan Rusin rocking on offense, so they’re capable, but I dont think their ladies can keep up. GRASS EATERS BY 10
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
- Who are your championship picks going into Saturday? Now that we know the bracket, it's easier to envision. Right now I’d say: Legends, The Untouchaballs, Itches and Ohs, Buffalo Vice, Come From Behind, and Southside.
- Which #1 seeds have the best chance to win, and which have the hardest path to victory? I’ll just list them all from best chance to worst: Southside, The Untouchaballs, GUCCI, Sticky Bandits, Buffalo Vice, Jabronies.
- What’s your most likely upset pick? Most likely? Blitzkrieg over Sausage McMuffins. We’ll probably get two upsets in D3, but they probably don’t count as upsets given the closeness of the division. Don’t count out Practice Squad over Freeballers either.
- What’s your favorite long shot upset pick? The Mighty Drunks to upset Southside. I don’t think it’ll happen, but if we had a TSL betting app, that would be a GREAT one to take. They only lost by 9 points last time they played and they’ve gotten better.
- Who’s the one upset you didn’t predict in the article that you really wanted to put? I wanted to put Frodo over Losing Streak so badly. Frodo just beat them by 15 and they’re playing really, really well. But my head wouldn’t let me. Losing Streak is good. Really good.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
- I’ve seen that Buffalo has gotten a decent amount of rain this week. Hopefully the fields are a little less “concrete like” as I’ve been hearing.
- YOUR GAMES WILL START ON TIME SO DON’T BE LATE. The league doesn’t want games starting super late, so we will NOT be waiting for players to show up. Get your team there early. If there’s some sort of overtime, we don’t want to push games too late.
- Speaking of, go to the rulebook and brush up on the overtime rules just in case. We had a couple of ties and a good amount of 1-2 point games this year. I feel like OT is in our future.
- Breakfast Club predictions:
- BDSM 46, The ASS 28
- Steph Infection 37, Komosexuals 30
- Games of the Day:
- 10:00 - Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins
- 11:00 - Wanderers vs Itches and Ohs
- 12:00 - PWI vs BAADies
- 1:00 - Tater Tots vs Long Balls
- 2:00 - Freeballers vs Practice Squad
- 3:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg
- The refs have been told to kick you out if you’re screaming at them. They aren’t going to go “easier” on you being a jerk because it’s the playoffs. Do NOT hurt your team by getting kicked out of the game. You’ve been warned.
- In a perfect world, D4 has the top 3 seeds win, and the BAADies, so we can potentially have the Cunning Stunts vs BAADies championship we all want.
- Do NOT message Jeff Krol, Travis, Joe K, Topper, B’s Brother, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Joey Batts, Girl On Crack, DJ Jimmy, or anyone else you think you might be able to sway: You get ZERO say in next week’s schedule, and it’ll be done in a way to minimize player conflicts, but nothing is guaranteed. Tell your team to clear their schedule now.
- I heard that Lenny and Rameer Day was a very good success! Thank you to everyone that jumped into the dunk tank and participated in the fun!
- If you have ANYTHING you want to talk about for next week’s playoff article, send it to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I want to know as much as I can from this week. Thank you in advance!
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL, The Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins NOW. Make it count.
-GF OUT
WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Friday, 02 June 2023 13:12
- Published: Friday, 02 June 2023 13:12
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Hits: 2328
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, as the calendar changes to June, I’m sad to report that there are only TWO weeks left in the Spring 2023 session. All you have are two weeks left to get your act together on the field and prepare for the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality that is about to begin on the 17th. By this point in time, you usually have a good idea of what exactly your team is. The haves and have nots in each division tend to have made themselves known, and favorites emerge. This current TSL season, however, is all over the place. After six weeks of football, we have some divisions with teams separating themselves (Sticky vs Legends in D1, The Untouchaballs in D2, GUCCI in D5) and then you have other divisions where who knows what you’re going to get (D3 is it’s usual “anyone can win on any day”, Buffalo Vice just beat the formerly impervious Puckett in D4, the last place Mighty Drunks beat the undefeated Sausage McMuffins in D6 last week).
The point is, as usual, nothing is guaranteed in the TSL, and you have two more weeks to figure it out.
GOOD NOT BAD:
Sticky Bandits and Legends are a combined 12-1, with the only loss being when Sticky defeated the Legends. They’re on a crash course for the title.
The Untouchaballs (and Matt Helm) asserted their dominance over No Punt Intended, quickly becoming the favorites in D2.
Vaspian got their first win of the season this week, stopping the former “hottest team in the TSL” Can’t Touch This.
Buffalo Vice put up 53 points en route to a victory over the previously unbeaten Puckett All-Stars.
GUCCI keeps stomping everyone in their way, Goatsack goes 2-0 last week.
Southside wins again to go 5-1, world still wonders how they lost a game.
BAD NOT GOOD:
Scared Hitless playing better, still not putting up enough points
The former “everyone has a shot to win the division” division in D2 is looking like a 2 team race (and one team just smacked the other)
Itches and Ohs (And the Creekers!) forfeit last week
Travis Henry’s Kids gets walloped by both gender teams to fall to 3-3 on the season, lose by a combined 112-72
TMA, Tater Tots, and Not So Sticky all continue to lose, struggling to score, struggling to stop anyone, or sometimes both.
Back That Pass Up scores a whopping 45 points, only to allow 64 and drop to 0-6.
All any of this means in the long run is that we don’t know anything, even after six weeks of football. The next two weeks are pivotal for all of the teams to get it together to get to the playoffs. And for those teams that have seemingly “figured it out”: you haven’t. Don’t get complacent.
Or, do, and it’ll make yet another wild and crazy Playoff Saturday.
D1:
Last Week’s Games:
Sticky Bandits 38, Tight Ends In Motion 12
Sticky Bandits 40, Frodo Swaggins 25
Frodo Swaggins 41, Scared Hitless 24
Legends 36, Eyes Downtown 30
Eyes Downtown 29, Scared Hitless 26
Overall, there’s a decent amount to unpack here. First off, Sticky continues to roll, putting up two easy wins over TEIM and Frodo. Frodo would then go on to get a win over Scared Hitless, who would go onto lose by 3 to Eyes Downtown, who had just lost by 6 to the Legends and therefore started to show they have that outside shot at title contention. Get all of that? Good.
This Week’s Games:
Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - After a 6 point loss to the Legends last week, Eyes Downtown confirmed to themselves that they’re much more of a title contender than they’re being given credit for. They get a Sticky Squad that’s just been on cruise control for most of the season, racking up win after win. If ED can win (or keep this close) this week, perhaps we do have a 4 horse race for D1. STICKY BANDITS BY 8
Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless (+6) - The “Scared Hitless is going to be just fine” crowd was silenced last weekend, as SH went 0-2 and failed to put up over 30 points in a game yet again. However, they’re getting a TEIM team that’s been just as offensively inept lately, only putting up 27 points total the last couple of weeks. Just a lost season for TEIM at this point. SCARED HITLESS BY 3
Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+9) - Losing Streak is in the perfect spot aren’t they? They’re 4-2, and everyone is talking about everyone around them. That usually means teams are about to sleep on them. Perfect time for them to strike in the playoffs. Frodo has been gutting this season out, and they have a 2-4 record to show for it. After a rough Week 1 where they got blown out twice, they’ve settled in a little bit and found a rhythm. With games against Losing Streak here and Sticky next week, we’ll see just how far they’ve come. LOSING STREAK BY 8
D2:
Last Week’s Games:
The Untouchaballs 41, No Punt Intended 17
The only D2 game of the week was quite the statement for Burr and friends, as Travis threw more TD passes to Untouchaballs players than NPI players.
This Week’s Games:
No Punt Intended vs Practice Squad (+10) - You can be sure that NPI is going to be focused on getting last week out of their head, and they’ll get the 0-5 Practice Squad to do it. Practice Squad was last seen getting chased off the fields by Untouchaballs, but that may have been the kick in the rear they needed to get moving. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2 IN AN UPSET OF THE DAY SPECIAL
The Untouchaballs vs Mavericks (+10) - I hope the Mavericks enjoyed their week off. Their reward is getting to play the newest “hottest team in the TSL”, that’s clicking on all cylinders on both sides of the ball. I know the Mavs have been working on that defense, but this game might be demoralizing for them. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 12
Freeballers vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Freeballers aren’t quite dead yet, despite losing their QB for the season. They had a really nice first game with the new QB, and then had a bye last week. It’s still tough to adjust to a new guy on the fly, so props to them for even trying. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3, B IMMEDIATELY ANNOUNCES HE’S BACK TO THE WORLD
D3:
Last Week’s Games:
Vaspian 30, Cant Touch This 28
Let’s Get Reccked 50, Degeneration Sexy 40
Jabronies 21, Itches and Ohs 0 (forfeit)
Jabronies stay on top of the division with a forfeit win over Itches. LGR drops 50 points in an absolute barnburner with D-Sex, while Vaspian proves how smart I am, showing that they ARE sneaky good and they DID win by 2. Nailed it.
This Week’s Games:
Wanderers vs Can’t Touch This (+3) - CTT scores quickly and often, while the Wanderers proceed to be a bit more methodical and take time off the clock. They keep EVERY game close, and that’s by design. If you haven’t noticed yet, they want the ball in their hands as the clock winds down so they control the game. A loss last week shouldn’t derail CTT’s season at all. This will be fun to watch. WANDERERS BY 3
Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+3) - The Jabronies are on a 5 game win streak after the forfeit win last week. They’re winning by a bunch and they’re winning close games. Bullet Club is 0-3 after a 3-0 start, as they’re missing key players just about every week like the BC teams of old. They’ve lost those games by a combined 5 points, so there’s a world where they’re 6-0 and the talk of the league. This game figures to be a close one, and the Jabronies are a little better at winning those than BC is. JABRONIES BY 2
Itches and Ohs vs Vaspian (EVEN) - Vaspian is 1-0-1 the last two weeks and are learning how to close out games. They get an Itches and Ohs team that gets their QB back after a two week suspension. Most teams would struggle without their QB, but Itches is especially reliant on Steve and how they run things. They can’t really have someone else step in and replace him based on how they play. I think he’s ready to set the league on fire. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8
Vaspian vs Degeneration Sexy (+6) - D-Sex has been playing better the last few weeks, getting a win and scoring a bunch of points. Things really look to be coming together, even if the record doesn’t show it. As long as Scotty Dro doesn’t ditch them, they can beat anyone in D3. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 4
Itches and Ohs vs Lets Get Reccked (EVEN) - Itches gets right back to it, taking on an LGR team that could put up 12 points or put up 50 against you, and you never know what you’re going to get. This game feels like a back and forth game where both teams get in the low 20s. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1
D4:
Last Week’s Games:
Buffalo Vice 53, Puckett All-Stars 46
Passing While Intoxicated 29, Cobblestone 28
BAADies 60, Travis Henry’s Kids 32
Cunning Stunts 52, Travis Henry’s Kids 40
Cunning Stunts 21, Creekers 0 (forfeit)
Well hello there Buffalo Vice! Sick of hearing about how good Puckett is, Vice came out to play and took down the juggernaut PAS. PWI snuck past Cobblestone, stopping Darryl Carr QB Superstar on a game winning 2 point conversion attempt to win the game. Usually Langley has to pay women to beat him this badly, but the BAADies and the Stunts did it for free this weekend, obliterating THK on the fields. The Stunts also picked up a forfeit win to get themselves over .500 on the season, finally.
This Week’s Games:
Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - While THK won’t have to worry about the girls dropping points on them this weekend, they’ll still have to play a Buffalo Vice team that HAS to be feeling good about themselves after last weekend. This feels like a game between one team on the rise and the other, well, not. BUFFALO VICE BY 12
BAADies vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - THE RIVALRY IS RENEWED!! ITS ON! There is NOTHING better in the TSL than a good old fashioned gender team battle. The only downside is that this wasn’t saved for Lenny and Rameer Day next weekend. Both of these teams are getting it going, and at the right time too. They’re pretty closely matched, but at the end of the day, I have to pick one of them: BAADIES BY 1.
Passing While Intoxicated vs Cunning Stunts (+3) - The Stunts immediately get to play PWI after the big game, which is good for PWI to catch them right after a game that should be emotionally taxing. PWI continues to play good football and do exactly what is needed to win. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8
Puckett All-Stars vs Cobblestone (+7) - It’s going to largely depend on who Darryl Carr QB Superstar gets to play this week, but let’s face it, Puckett is more than likely stewing about that loss last week and they’ll be looking to dominate yet again. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 14
Passing While Intoxicated vs Creekers (+10) - Good team vs Not Good Team. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 18
D5:
Last Week’s Games:
Goatsack! 39, Tater Tots 38
Goatsack! 31, TMA 21
Come From Behind 47, TMA 14
GUCCI 34, Not So Sticky 0
Long Balls 38, ILF 30
Goatsack went 2-0 this week, and how they did it was impressive: knocking off the Tots and then TMA. TMA continued to spiral this season, picking up another loss after that to Come From Behind. GUCCI brought NSS behind the woodshed. And the Long Balls come away with another win, this time against the Lightning Falcons.
This Week’s Games:
TMA vs Not So Sticky (+3) - Before the season, if you looked at the schedule, you’d assume there’d have been a great chance that these two teams would’ve been playing for the #1 seed in D5 this weekend. Not so much. TMA is 0-4 after a good start, and they’re struggling to score points at all. They’re second last in the division in points for. The good news? Not So Sticky is last. Both teams have decent to good defenses, so it’s going to be low scoring here. TMA BY 2
GUCCI vs Tater Tots (+7) - GUCCI is 4-1, they’re scoring points, and they’re playing excellent defense. They’re one of the hottest teams in the league, and Kelly Kane is slinging it as well as anyone out there(The QB Rankings committee needs to get it together too). The Tots, meanwhile, just continue to struggle on the season. Or so it seems. They’re 1-1-1 in their last 3, tying Long Balls, losing by a point to Goatsack, and beat NSS. Don’t forget, they beat Come From Behind this year. They’re a sneeze away from being 4-2 and this game is for the #1 seed. TATER TOTS BY 3
Come From Behind vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls find themselves at 3-2-1 and 3rd in the division. They’re playing well, but with wins over struggling teams like TMA, the Tots, and whatever ILF is this season, you wonder if they’re actually good or not. Well, here’s your test. Come From Behind has been D5’s “big bad” for a long time now, and the LoVullo squad routinely puts up 30+ points with ease. But, they also play pretty great defense too. If the LBs can figure this one out, they’ll be considered “for real”. They won’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10
D6:
Last Week’s Games:
Southside 43, Grass Eaters 16
Balls Deep 64, Back That Pass Up 45
Two Tuddies 24, Blitzkrieg 20
Mighty Drunks 31, Sausage McMuffins 27
Southside beat up on the Grass Eaters to move into first place in the division because the Mighty Drunks came out and beat the McMuffins. Big win for the Drunks! Two Tuddies continue to keep rolling, as they hand Blitzkrieg another loss to put them at 3-3 on the season. Then finally, Balls Deep did their best Spinelli’s impression and dropped 64 on BTPU.
This Week’s Games:
Southside vs Sausage McMuffins (+7) - This game is still for the first seed, but its less exciting now that the McMuffins lost last weekend. As much of a fun, feel good story the McMuffins have been, Southside remains the main D6 story. They have the best offense and the best defense in the division, and they’re in a class above everyone else. SOUTHSIDE BY 12
Balls Deep vs Grass Eaters (+8) - These two teams may be more evenly matched than one thinks. Balls Deep is due to come back down to Earth after a crazy win last week, and the Grass Eaters are getting their QB back this week as well. Also, at the end of the day, Balls Deep doesn’t have anyone on their team that can compete with Rylee. GRASS EATERS BY 10
Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+6) - Back That Pass Up finally figured out how offense worked this season, but did it at the expense of completely forgetting what defense is. Not the best formula, BUT they’re figuring things out, and that’s the most important part. The Drunks apparently can’t spell, but that’s okay. They pulled off a BIG win over the McMuffins, and because of that they can potentially get out of the 8v9 “play in” game with a win here and against the Tuddies next week. MIGHTIY DRUNKS BY 8
Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+10) - The Tuddies have been cruising along, winning games, and playing really well on both sides of the ball. It’s amazing to see where they were a few seasons ago to now. Pit Harade has had an okay initial campaign. They’ve been pretty good offensively, but that defense isn’t doing them any favors. Once they figure out what they’re doing on that side of the ball, they might be able to make some noise. Getting the Tuddies and Southside for your last two games isn’t going to help that. TWO TUDDIES BY 17
Two Tuddies vs Sausage McMuffins (+3) - What a doubleheader for the McMuffins. Southside AND the Tuddies. The schedule makers must hate them for some reason. After last week’s hiccup against the Drunks, the McMuffins could find themselves tumbling down the standings this week. Fortunes in the TSL can change in the blink of an eye. TWO TUDDIES BY 10
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
- What’s going on with Breakfast Club? Not too long ago, I was thinking we had, top to bottom, the most even BC we’ve had in years. After a few more weeks, I can see that i was wrong. Yet again, Steph Infection is the class of the league, with the top offense, and one of the top defenses. BDSM however, has really been clicking the last few weeks to give us an interesting top two. It’ll be fun to see how it plays out, as it always is.
- What should we expect weather wise this week? Well, two weeks ago was raining and miserable, last week was way too hot, so this week is looking like it’ll be “just right” for football weather.
- What teams are sitting in the middle of the standings that could make some noise in the playoffs? Let’s call this one the 3-3 club. D1 has Eyes Downtown that just lost to Legends last week and you can’t ever count Bobby out. D2 has Jordan and the Mavericks lurking, hoping that they fly under the radar a little longer. D3 has Bullet Club who as we mentioned lost their last 3 games by a combined 5 points. D4 has the BAADies clicking on offense finally, which historically (when they were the Angels) meant they couldn’t be beat. D5 has the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons, which is a team that has talent, and plays great defense, but just struggles to be consistent. And D6 has Blitzkrieg, a perennial title contender that has two 1 score losses on their record (Tuddies by 4, McMuffins by 8) and then the drubbing by Southside that is more of an outlier than the norm. You can’t ever count them out.
- What’s going on with the wine tournament? Well, more information should be coming out sooner than later. It’s going to be coming up this August, so get ready for it.
- Where has B’s Brother been? The question we always need to know, of course. He’s been on official league business scouting more sites and talent for TSL Atlanta. Hopefully he’ll be back to the fields soon.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
- Someone get Sean some shorts.
- I know that you’re getting upset that the TSL season is winding down and that the games are getting more important, but once again, please remember to stop being jerks to the refs. I'm aware that you’re fighting for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, but cut it out. Every week I get an email about someone having some sort of issue. I’ll say it weekly if I have to.
- Speaking of the refs, shout out to them for dealing with the bi-polar Buffalo weather that you guys experience. Cold and Rainy one week, incredibly hot the next. Thanks for what you guys do out there.
- Breakfast Club Predictions:
- Steph Infection 40, Liddle Dubs 24
- BDSM 47, The Vajennas 33
- Komosexuals 32, The ASS 30
- Games of the Day:
- 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Wanderers
- 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
- 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Jabronies
- 1:00 - BAADies vs Cunning Stunts
- 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Losing Streak
- 3:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Two Tuddies
- Casual reminder to everyone that the schedule for Playoff Saturday on June 17th is already set and isn’t changing. If you don’t know what it is, ask Jeff Krol to send it to you, or ask your captains for it, as they’ve had it for weeks.
- Yes, everyone makes the playoffs this year. The League was informed that the 5th field was supposed to already be unavailable to us by now. It looks more and more like we should’ve been able to have more teams and use that field all season.
- For those wondering about the Topper comeback story: it appears his magical shoulder that has thrown 4,302 touchdowns and 5,913 interceptions has torn and he’ll be surgically repairing it at some point. Once that happens, the TSL will have the hottest free agent it’s had in years.
- Want to be on the podcast? Talk to Jeff Krol or Joe K asap. It’s a fun way to get people to know who you and your teammates are!
- Or, just email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to give me info about the games you’re playing in and who should be mentioned for being awesome on your team. I can only get so much information from my informants. Thank you to those that do email me.
Week 7 is now officially a go. Good luck.
-GF OUT


