WEEK 5 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 20 September 2024 17:30

Published: Friday, 20 September 2024 17:30

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2424

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the TSL Fall 2024 season has officially reached middle age. That’s right, Week 5 of the season means that we’re halfway through the unofficial preseason for the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. That’s what these first 9 games are, aren’t they? Just the preseason before the real games begin. Nobody gets a bottle of champagne from Jeff Krol just for being “really good” in the first two months of the season. You get that bubbly from Mr. Krol for being THE BEST after the two week playoff tournament that truly defines you as a human being and shows you what you’re made of. All of these regular season games are simply here to prepare you for the real test. So, who’s making the most of these practice rounds? Let’s take a look. 

 

D1

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Wet Bandits (3-1) - Sitting at 5-0, the Wet Ones have destroyed everyone in their way so far, casually putting up a lot of points, and looking every bit of the best team in the entire TSL. 

 

Eyes Downtown (4-1) - The rumors of the demise of Eyes Downtown seems to be a bit premature, as the 3-1 team has only lost to the Wet Bandits so far. Despite a close one with Scared Hitless, ED has looked more and more like the defending Fall Champions (that’s not a real thing) we remember from a year ago. Look out D1. 

 

Sticky Bandits (6-1) - Something isn’t right in Sticky Nation. The Bandits (dry version) are 3-1, but their wins are against the not great Freeballers, and then they’ve gone 2-1 in crossover games, losing to CTT, having to come back against The Malones, and they just snuck by Scared Hitless. Results like that make me wonder how well they’ll stack up against ED and the WB. 

 

Frodo Swaggins (10-1) - Frodo is 3-2, putting up points, and looking much better than they have in recent seasons. They’ve also gone 3-1 in crossover matchups, and lost their only “D1” game so far, against the Wet Bandits. Hard to put them higher than this currently. 

 

Freeballers (50-1) - Longshots to win the D1 Championship, the Freeballers still deserve all of the credit for going to D1 despite knowing who they were going to be losing. There’s been improvements as the season goes on, but this team isn’t quite feeling like “D1 champs” this season. Expect a strong finish to the season for them though. 

Last Week’s Games

 

None. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Eyes Downtown vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - I’m feeling a high scoring affair between these two, however, Eyes Downtown feels like more of the pick right now. They’re in a better place. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Freeballers 37, The Untouchaballs 23

Sticky Bandits 39, Scared Hitless 35

Frodo Swaggins 59, The Malones 40

Eyes Downtown 44, Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

 

D1 leads the Season Series 10-4. 

 

A clean sweep by D1 this week really messes up the closeness the Crossover Series was having. Freeballers got their first win, Sticky survived Scared Hitless, Frodo out-Maloned The Malones, and Eyes Downtown took care of Grey Hair pretty easily. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Wet Bandits vs The Untouchaballs (+14) - The Untouchaballs aren’t as “untouchaball” as they’ve felt in season’s past, which means the league just isn’t as fun as it could be. We seem far removed from the fruit basket sending victories right now. I’d like UT to prove me wrong, but the Wet Bandits are on a mission. WET BANDITS BY 17

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - Frodo’s offense is becoming something to behold, and it was the ineptitude on that side of the ball (at times) that really derailed the team in the last few seasons. Grey Hair’s defense is nearly non-existent. Not the best matchup for them right now. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 20

 

D2

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Mavericks (4-1) - Arguably the team that should’ve won it all last season (and they know it), the Mavs have gotten off to a good start, sitting at 2-1. It’s not much of a sample size, but when you get wins over Can’t Touch This and Frodo Swaggins, and then “only” lose to the Wet Bandits by 13, well, this team could conceivably be the 2nd best team in D1. 

 

Can’t Touch This (6-1) - CTT has truly become that team nobody else wants to play. Not because of their attitude, they’re delightful, but because they feel they can beat anyone. They took down Sticky, played Frodo tight, and lost to the Mavs. They belong. 

 

The Malones (8-1) - It’s weird not making these guys and gals the favorites, but when they’re in the middle of their first 3 week losing streak ever, you can start to see holes in their armor. Now granted, The Malones lost 3 straight weeks against Sticky, Eyes Downtown, and Frodo. No slouches there (I have to say weeks since they murdered GHDC in there somewhere too). Even with those losses, they have a positive point differential. Maybe the book is out on them? 

 

Scared Hitless (10-1) - Sitting at 2-3, you wouldn’t think to look twice at SH, but if you look into the numbers, there’s a better story there. Scratch a Week 1 loss to The Malones, and you have a team that beat a D1 team (Freeballers), lost to a good D1 team by a single point (Eyes Downtown), and then they just took the defending D1 champs to the limit, losing by 4. Scared Hitless is THIS close to really breaking out in a big way. Don’t sleep on ‘em. 

 

The Untouchaballs (12-1) - On the plus side, whenever things seem to be their most bleak, Jeremy F’n Burr comes in and kicks the asses of everyone on the other side of the field from him. UT isn’t playing like UT, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t turn it up a notch and round into form just as the playoffs hit. 

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care (22-1) - They’re 1-5 already, they’re giving a ton of points, but they look like they’re having fun. Things don’t get easier for them as they get to play Frodo, Mavericks, Sticky, and Scared Hitless to round out the season. Fun. 

Last Week’s Games

 

Scared Hitless 32, The Untouchaballs 23

 

One game in D2 last week that ended exactly how you’d think it’d have ended with Scared Hitless outlasting The Untouchaballs. 

This Week’s Games

 

Can’t Touch This vs The Malones (EVEN) - LET’S GO. This is quite the marquee D2 matchup. Both teams are looking to separate themselves from the rest of the pack and cement themselves as D2 title contenders along with the Mavericks. Both teams want to make a statement and get a big win over a top opponent. This is going to be the most fun game to watch of the day. THE MALONES BY 2

 

Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs (+8) - As you’ve read a few times now, the Mavericks are just looking good and UT just has something not right with them. Maybe this is the game that “fixes” them, but I doubt it. MAVERICKS BY 13

 

Mavericks vs Scared Hitless (+7) - If Scared Hitless is going to have that breakout game, here’s the time to do it. How much longer do they want to be “the team that’s almost good but can’t stop falling short”? Here’s their chance to change the narrative. MAVERICKS BY 2

D3

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Mix’n It Up (4-1) - With a win over the Wanderers last weekend, the Kellers took the pole position in the championship odds. They’ve had impressive wins all season so far, and while they have to fit 6 games into 4 weeks (They’re 3-0 right now), I have a feeling they’re going to be just fine. 

 

Wanderers (9-2) - I can’t quite make them the favorites anymore after they lost to Mix, which I hear that the loss was actually equally Frank and Sal’s fault, and nobody else’s. It doesn’t matter though, the Wanderers are always a threat to win the title, even if they always blow it in the playoffs. 

 

Practice Squad (7-1) - Practice Squad is in unfamiliar territory as the 5-0 team that has everything together from the start. Usually they’re the struggling, underdog team that just clicks into high gear with “Playoff B” and they run to a title. How good is PS? A nice win over LGR helped their case, but other than a 3 point win over Vice, the Squad has two blowout wins over weak teams and a forfeit win. I’m not saying that Practice Squad isn’t good, I’m just saying we’ll find out just how good they are as they have arguably the toughest schedule to end the season with Wanderers, Bullet Club, Jabronies, and Mix’n It Up left to play. 

 

Let’s Get Reccked (8-1) - The perennial “this team should be better here” team in D3, one would THINK Let’s Get Reccked has won a title or two, but in reality, they never reach their potential. They’re 1-2 in their last three games, all of which were one score games, so they’re grinding out wins. Will they take that next step? 

 

Buffalo Vice (10-1) - Vice sits at 2-2, getting a forfeit win and a Week 1 victory over Bullet Club. In between have been two one score losses to Practice Squad (3 points) and the Jabronies (10 points). They’re going to compete, and they look better than last season, but we’ll get a better idea of just how good they’re going to be in the next few weeks or so. 

 

Jabronies (10-1) - The Jabronies sit at 2-2, beating Vice and TAST, and losing to the Wanderers and Bullet Club, which puts them firmly in the “I don’t know what they are” middle with a few other teams. They have the QB and they have top end talent, but depth might be their problem overall. 

 

Bullet Club (10-1) - Bullet Club is sitting at 2-4, having yet another season where I don’t know what to make of them. They have 2 blowout losses (Week 1 against Vice and Wanderers), they have two blowout wins (Jabronies and TAST), and they have 2 “played tough and could’ve won the game if one or two things go right” losses (Mix and LGR). Like most of the “middle” D3 teams, they feel like they should be better than that. 

 

Passing While Intoxicated (12-1) - PWI is handling their first foray into D3 pretty well so far, but everything is going to get harder and harder as things go on. PWI lost to the Wanderers by 9, and got smacked by Practice Squad in Week 1. In between they got wins against the combined 0-9 teams of Topper-less TAST, and Team-less Straw Hats. Their last 5 games are against the teams just above them in the odds rankings: Bullet Club - Jabronies - Vice - Mix - LGR. That stretch will tell us everything we need to know about PWI this season. 

 

Topper’s All Stars & Todd (20-1) - They haven’t had enough Topper this season, which is the big reason for the slow start, things should be getting better as the season moves on. 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Wanderers 46, Passing While Intoxicated 37

Mix’n It Up 27, Wanderers 14

Let’s Get Reccked 37, Bullet Club 32

Practice Squad 39, Let’s Get Reccked 34

Practice Squad 42, Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 21

 

Wanderers slip by PWI before dropping a game to Mix to go to 1-1 on the day, Let’s Get Reccked slips by Bullet Club before dropping a game to Practice Squad to go 1-1 on the day, and Practice Squad beats TAST to go to 2-0 on the day. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Mix’n It Up vs Topper’s All-Stars & Todd (+9) - Last season, TAST got a two interception performance from Topper (the ones where he catches them, not throws them) as he first claimed his throne as D3 Male Defensive Player of The Spring. The Kellers didn’t forget that, and they’ve been waiting for this moment of revenge. MIX’N IT UP BY 14

 

Bullet Club vs Passing While Intoxicated (+2) - A big game for both teams, for different reasons. PWI is looking to climb the ladder of D3, and Bullet Club is just ahead of them. Buddy Lee and TD Tori have led the way for PWI so far, and they’ll both need nice days to keep ahead of BC. Meanwhile, Bullet Club needs this win to have a shot at finishing above .500 this season, and after last year’s “finishing 8th” debacle, I think they’d want to avoid another low finish in the standings. BULLET CLUB BY 5

 

Wanderers vs Practice Squad (+6) - I’ve said enough about these teams already. Practice Squad, just show me what you’ve got. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Mix’n It Up vs Buffalo Vice (+7) - This feels like one of those games where the speed of Buffalo Vice will really come into play here. Plus, as Andy Clark knows, chicks dig the long ball. Upset alert. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Jabronies (+3) - Both teams are 2-2, both teams are in the “they should be better” category. These teams have a decent history too. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

 

D4

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Cunning Stunts (2-1) - They’re 5-0, they’re beating the crap out of everyone, and they look like they’re on the next level. As always, their biggest enemy will be the playoffs. 

 

The ILFers (4-1) - At this point, they’re clearly better than any team that isn’t just full of women. Kicak and company really need to figure out how to get over the “gender hump” in front of them, or they can just smartly focus on finishing second in the division, and then beating whatever low seed upsets the Stunts in the second round of the playoffs for the title. 

 

Select (9-1) - The “new” team on the block (that’s chock full of vets) had a rough go of it last week, but they’re still proving they’re in a different tier than some of the other D4 teams they’re going against. And they have a superstar in Malikye, which can only help things. Plus, they’ve got Tater Tots vibes, which makes them league favorites. 

 

The Herd (9-1) - WHAT IS THIS? That’s right, The Herding 20s are sitting at 3-2, and are on a 3 game winning streak. When your two losses are against the Stunts and ILF, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Amazing what grabbing a former D1 super good QB can do for you. 

 

Vaspian (9-1) - The third entrant into our “second tier” of teams, Vaspian has been playing relatively well this season. Sitting at 2-3, this isn’t your father’s Vaspian. The Vaspian of old used to play lockdown defense, and would grind out 19-12 wins. This Vaspian has a scoring punch to it, and they’re a 1 point loss to Select and a 6 point loss to The Herd away from being the talk of the league at 4-1. I’m not sure what happened, but I’ve been told that maybe Tawan Crosby finally found his hands after 5 years. 

 

Creekers (9-1) - They’re firmly in the middle with the other teams, but they just don’t have the vibes this season so far. Luckily, they’re only 3 games into this season, and at 1-2 they can quickly remind everyone who they are. I wouldn’t give up on the Creekers just yet. The best is yet to come for them, and if they end up 6-3, would you be surprised? (Yes, because they have the Stunts and ILF still to play). 

 

GirthQuakes (15-1) - They’re still finding their legs, yet despite being 1-3 they have a +7 point differential. Why? Cobblestone gave them a 21-0 forfeit win. They lost to The Herd by 12. After that? Two one point losses to Select and the Creekers. While a losing record seems likely, there’s a lot of promise here. 

 

Cobblestone (20-1) - No, it should not “be higher”. At the end of the day, Cobblestone still has league legend and first ballot Hall of Famer Darryl Carr QB Superstar throwing the ball, which means they can drop 50 points on anyone whenever they want to. The rest of the Carrs, by the way, are pretty good too. Now that they have females, finally, they’ll right the ship a bit, and can be dangerous. 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Creekers 29, GirthQuakes 28

Cunning Stunts 54, Cobblestone 28

The Herd 55, Cobblestone 28

Vaspian 38, Select 8

 

Creekers sneak on by the GQs to get that first win they’ve needed, The Stunts and The Herd team up to send Cobblestone to 0-2 on the day, and Vaspian beats Select by 30!

 

This Week’s Games

 

Creekers vs Cobblestone (+3) - Two teams that had rough starts meet in a game they both have to be considering “must win”, just for their psyche. This should be close. CREEKERS BY 2

 

ILFers vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers could really shake things up with a win here, but ILF has just been so darn consistent at what they do, and now that they have an actual QB, I doubt we see any slip ups. ILFERS BY 14

 

The Herd vs Select (EVEN) - The current hottest D4 team (non-Stunts/ILF division) vs the former hottest D4 team (non-Stunts/ILF division). Select didn’t have the greatest week last week, but most teams have a bad week here or there. Meanwhile, The Herd is ROLLING. I feel like a high scoring game is coming our way. THE HERD BY 8

 

Cunning Stunts vs GirthQuakes (+17) - It’s nothing against the GirthQuakes, but you’re a team learning and looking for your first non-forfeit win ever, going against the well oiled machine that is the Stunts, who have been spanking everyone they come across. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

D5

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Come From Behind (5-1) - I know what you’re thinking. CFB is 2-2, how on Earth are they the favorites? Because they’re still good, and they’re a proven commodity here in D5. If you check back in 4 weeks and they’re 7-2, are you going to be surprised? You’re not. 

 

GUCCI (5-1) - GUCCI had a bad week, which should probably hurt them here, but in reality we’re banking on GUCCI rounding back into the form we’re used to, and I’ll say the same thing I’ve said for CFB: If they’re 7-2 in 4 weeks, are you going to be surprised? 

 

Two Tuddies (6-1) - The Tud Buds are the class of D5 and arguably the TSL as they’ve stormed out to a 4-0 record, and the changes they’ve made to the roster really seem to be paying off. They have wins over Stir The Sauce, GUCCI, Not So Sticky, and Pit Harade. With games against the PowerPuff Girls and Come From Behind looming, we’ll see if they’ve been lucky or if they’re good. 

 

Not So Sticky (6-1) - They’re doing the things they always do here, although having Ricky Recckio doesn’t exactly hurt. 4 games, a 3-1 record, and 3 of 4 games have been 1 score games. The other one? 12 points. NSS tends to play close games, and they’re sticking to their script here. 

 

Stir The Sauce (6-1) - STS is continuing their climb to get back to the D5 title game, and they’re looking every bit the contender. Other than a big win over Pit Harade, STS has played in three straight 1 point games, Beating CFB 21-20, and Losing 53-52 to Spinelli’s, and 31-30 to the Tuddies. They very easily could be 4-0 right now. They’re tough to beat. 

 

Power Puff Girls (6-1) - The PPGs have continued their rise in D5 as things begin to click more and more for the team. Defense still is a problem, as the Girls have allowed 25+ points in all 4 games this season. Luckily for them, they sure can score a lot. They have two 1 point losses to NSS and GUCCI this season, and they’re yet another team that could’ve been 4-0 at this point in time. 

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1) - Spinelli’s is 1-3 in their return, and while their offense has come back to form, their defense is allowing just under 50 points per game. Not exactly the markings of a D5 contender just yet. If they can shore up their defense a smidge, they could be a hot team heading into the playoffs. 

 

Pit Harade (25-1) - So far, so not good for Pit Harade’s initial D5 season. They’re currently at 0-3, and they’ve only scored 40 points so far, after averaging nearly 28 per game last season. They’re allowing 40 points a game on defense, a far cry from last season as well. Tougher competition and breaking in another QB has been rough, and although PH has shown flashes of the team of last season, I’m not sure they’ll win a game this season. 

Last Week’s Games

 

Not So Sticky 41, Spinelli’s Plumbing 37

Come From Behind 42, GUCCI 0

Two Tuddies 29, GUCCI 16

Two Tuddies 31, Stir The Sauce 30

 

GUCCI goes 0-2 on the day, losing to the Tud Buds and getting blown out by Come From Behind. The Tuddies would go on to slip by Stir The Sauce by a point to be 2-0 on the day. Not So Sticky held off Spinelli’s as well. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Pit Harade (+10) - Spinelli’s high octane offense may be too much for Pit Harade’s leaky defense, and they could easily put up 50 points, although Spinelli’s “not great” defense might be just what the doctor ordered to get PH on track. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

 

Two Tuddies vs Power Puff Girls (EVEN) - The Tud Buds have overcome every challenge thrown their way so far this season, and now they get the challenge of a gender team on the rise. They can’t win them all, right? POWER PUFF GIRLS BY 13

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+3) - We haven’t really seen full powered, rust knocked off GUCCI yet this season, but it looks like NSS is going to get to see it first hand. I expect yet another one score game here. GUCCI BY 2

 

Come From Behind vs Pit Harade (+17) - Pit Harade gets to face arguably the two most lethal offenses in D5 on the same day. Not exactly what the doctor ordered. COME FROM BEHIND BY 20

 

GUCCI vs Power Puff Girls (+3) - This one may come down to which defense makes a play first. Not sure who it’ll be just yet. GUCCI BY 1

 

Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - The lighthearted “rivalry” in D5 continues in this one, as these two titans will battle it out. I know better than to bet against NSS when I think CFB will beat them. NOT SO STICKY BY 4

 

D6

 

Odds To Win The Championship

 

Blitzkrieg (3-1) - Blitzkrieg Finds themselves where they usually do at this point, near the top of the standings, good offense, good defense, and wondering if this is really the year or not. They’ve weathered every storm thrown at them this season, with one notable exception….

 

Day By Day (3-1) - ….Day By Day, who has been on fire all season, looking every bit a title contender. Other than a slip up against the Purple Nurples, DBD has been great, and with a win over Blitzkrieg under their belts, they’re a bonafide title contender. 

 

Sausage McMuffins (4-1) - The McMuffins are just a shade behind the other two, but they’ve handled their business. Their only loss is against Blitzkrieg, which obviously isn’t anything to be too worried about. 

 

Sticky Laces (8-1) - The Laces have wins over Dogg Pound, Balls Deep, and a 1 point win over the Nurples. Pretty good wins, but they also got blown out by TMA along the way too. The schedule isn’t too kind the rest of the way, so we’ll see what they’re made of very soon. 

 

Balls Deep (12-1) - Balls Deep hasn’t had a great season, other than a beat down of the Dogg Pound. They typically have a “not great” offense, anchored by a good defense, but even that has been rough this year. Right now they find themselves not really good enough to compete, but not bad enough to rebuild. 

 

Purple Nurples (20-1) - The revamped Mighty Drunks are going through some growing pains, but they’re a point away from a 2-2 record, and they’ve already played the McMuffins, Blitzkrieg, and Day By Day. The problem for them? They get Blitzkrieg and the McMuffins again, so their final record may not be great, but the experience they’ll gain could help in the playoffs. 

 

Dogg Pound (20-1) - They got their first win of the season last weekend against TMA, and lost to Day By Day by a point. They lost to Sticky Laces by 2. Other than getting blown out in back to back weeks, it's been a better season for the Pound, even if the record doesn’t reflect that. 

 

TMA (20-1) - The TMA of old is starting to appear, as they’re starting to get back to having their team show up, and adding new blood to an old roster. They blew out Sticky Laces, and got blown out against Day By Day. They also played the McMuffins and Dogg Pound tight in losses. They’re trending up, let's hope they rattle off a few wins sooner than later. 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sausage McMuffins 36, Balls Deep 22

Dogg Pound 30, TMA 21

Day By Day 29, Blitzkrieg 25

Sticky Laces 37, Purple Nurples 36

Day By Day 19, Dogg Pound 18

The McMuffins take care of Balls Deep, while the Dogg Pound gets its first win over TMA before falling to Day By Day later in the day. Day By Day would get a huge win over Blitzkrieg earlier in the day. Sticky Laces sneak out a win over the Nurples as well. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Blitzkrieg vs Purple Nurples (+8) - Fall Blitzkrieg had a hiccup against Day By Day, but I’d expect them to get back on track against a Nurples defense that allows quite a bit of points. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Sticky Laces (+7) - If the Sticky Laces should be included in the “top tier” of D6 contenders, this is the game they need to win. Unfortunately, I don’t think they’re quite there yet. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

 

Day By Day vs Balls Deep (+10) - Unless Balls Deep gets better on both sides of the ball, or Day By Day gets a little too confident over last week’s win over BK, this game should be going exactly how you think it should. DAY BY DAY BY 8

 

Blitzkrieg vs Dogg Pound (+7) - While the Dogg Pound is getting better and better, they have a ways to go to get up to the championship level teams above them. BLITZKRIEG BY 9

 

Purple Nurples vs TMA (+3) - It depends on what TMA we’ll be getting this week, but if the normal team shows up, I think they’ll be able to pull this one out. TMA BY 6

Five Questions For Saturday

 

 

• What division do you think is the most competitive now? I think the answer is D5. Every single team can beat any other team, with the exception of Pit Harade. If Spinelli’s figures out their defense, we’ll have a 7 team race on our hands! 

 

 

 

• What division is the least competitive then? It has to be D4. The Stunts and ILFers just feel like a cut above everyone else, which can only mean that we’ll be seeing a Select vs Vaspian finals. 

 

 

 

• Who are your current best bets for the championships at the halfway point? Wet Bandits, Mavericks, Wanderers, ILFers, Stir The Sauce, and Blitzkrieg. 

 

 

 

• Who are your favorite current “long shots”? Passing While Intoxicated has made a career out of pulling out upsets when nobody thought they could. And honestly, look out for Scared Hitless come playoff time. 

 

 

 

• What team that’s under .500 will make some noise the rest of the season? Do the Malones count? I think we know about them. Call me crazy, but I just have this feeling that Vaspian is going to really surprise people the rest of the season. 

 

Ten Final Thoughts For Saturday

 

 

• Games Of The Week: 

• 9:00 - Mix’n It Up vs Topper All-Stars & Todd

• 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 11:00 - Can’t Touch This vs The Malones

• 12:00 - Jabronies vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Power Puff Girls vs Two Tuddies

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky

• 3:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Eyes Downtown

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 32, All Ryled Up 28

• Steph Infection 40, D’s Nutz 21

• Syd On My Face 27, Carlyac Arrest 24

 

 

 

• It appears that Dog Day was a success, and multiple kittens and pups had applications for adoption submitted! 

 

 

 

• Watch the GirthQuakes get it together and pop off a bunch of wins in the second half. The talent is there. 

 

 

 

• You may avoid the rain this weekend, but I wouldn’t count on it. My trusty Weather Channel App, even from Iowa, says you’re looking at 50% chance of rain. 

 

 

 

• If you’re reading this, make sure you give Topper a big hug when you see him this weekend. He’ll know why. 

 

 

 

• The rumblings are beginning for the TSL Winter Banquet. No dates or anything have been finalized, but the biggest party of the year is coming. Get ready for it! 

 

 

 

• We need TSLers taking more pictures and posting them on Facebook and tagging us in them! Or we need an official TSL photographer again who can post on Instagram as well. 

 

 

 

• Remember, if you want to be on the TSL podcast, just find Dorene or Joe K, or Jeff Krol, and they’ll set it up! 

 

 

 

• Finally, if you have anything you want to add about your team, or to tell me I’m just wrong and you’re going to shock the world, email me like the others do at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know what you want to say! 

 

 

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Published: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2312

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Fall 2024 TSL season. After two weeks of “getting things settled” and “shaking off the rust”, the calendar turns to September which means one thing: it’s football time. I know, dear reader, that you’re saying “But Godfather, it’s been football time for two weeks now!” and while I understand where you’re coming from, it’s not quite the same thing. The first two weeks of the TSL season are always the “let’s get the hang of this” weeks. In the Spring sessions, that’s usually a reflection of teams not having played football together for 6 months (indoor football is a different game, it doesn’t count) and they’re getting the cobwebs out of their heads after hibernating for the winter. In the Fall, it’s more about finishing up the end of the summer: some people have weddings, vacations, parties, and various other things to do where their focus isn’t squarely on football. 

But now? It’s after Labor Day, and other than not wearing white, the only other thing that matters is football. The weather turns to “football” weather, the NFL comes back, and your focus is squarely on the prize: Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This doesn’t mean the first two weeks of the season mean nothing, no. It just means that the many, many storylines that have begun to develop will play out in all sorts of different ways. Some of them will remain a theme of the season, others will fade away. But which ones will that be? It’s hard to tell right now, but here are the developing storylines so far this season. 

 

 

• The Wet Bandits mean business. They’re already 3-0 and averaging nearly 50 points a game. They’ve handled their opponents with ease. 

 

 

 

• The Malones should have gone to D1. It’s already apparent, as The Malones are 2-1, with the one loss coming in a 49-42 battle with the defending D1 champs in the Sticky Bandits. The Malones apparently led by two scores at halftime as well. 

 

 

 

• Other 3-0 teams include the Cunning Stunts and the ILFers (we don’t have enough webspace to constantly print out the full name of the Becca’s Daddy Jason and their Incredibly Loving Friends each time) who are on a crash course to meet in the D4 finals, and I’m not quite sure the rest of the division will crash this party. 

 

 

 

• D1/D2 Crossovers look to be a success so far, even with D1 up in the series 4-1. Can the D2 teams close the gap? 

 

 

 

• D6 looks to be a tale of haves and the have nots as half the division is 2-0, the other half 0-2. 

 

 

 

• D3 looks to be back to its fun, closely contested division from top to bottom now that The Malones have gone away. 

 

 

 

• Grey Hair Don’t Care - about defense. GDHC is 1-3 (only beating a D1 team, if you can consider the Freeballers that), but they’re allowing nearly 43 points a game. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI and The Kellers (Mixin It Up) haven’t played a game yet, but you have to assume both teams will be in the mix for TSL gold come October. 

 

 

 

• Steph Infection continues to be the gold standard in Breakfast Club, already out to a dominating lead in the division. 

 

 

 

• Extra shoutout to the two crippled captains of BC who continue to show their support for their teams despite having 2.5 good legs between the two of them (Dri and Carly).

 

 

 

• Frodo figuring it out? Maybe. They’re 2-1, but that’s 2-0 in D2, 0-1 in D1. Even still, there’s better vibes coming out of the Swaggins camp than have been in recent memory. 

 

 

 

• Vaspian is 1-3, but they’re about 3 plays away from being 3-1. That’s exciting for the long running franchise. 

 

Those are just a few of the running storylines we have in the TSL so far this season, and in just a short time we’ll be able to see how many of those storylines actually play out and which new ones will develop over the next 6 weeks of TSL football. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 50, Frodo Swaggins 31 

 

The Wet Bandits continue their hot start to the season, putting up 50 on Frodo, who are still looking better than they have before. 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits 49, The Malones 42

Grey Hair Don’t Care 45, Freeballers 26

Eyes Downtown 30, Scared Hitless 29

Frodo Swaggins 36, The Untouchaballs 7

 

D1 leads the season series 4-1. 

 

The Crossovers continue to provide excellent drama as Sticky completes the comeback on The Malones, Grey Hair Don’t Care gets D2 on the board as they throttle the Freeballers in the Dave Eickhoff Revenge Game, and then Eyes Downtown BARELY squeaks by Scared Hitless. There was another game where Frodo just decimated The Untouchaballs, and the more worrisome thing I heard is that there are rumors Burr ISN’T the QB? 

 

D2

 

Mavericks 47, Can’t Touch This 31

The Malones 52, Grey Hair Don’t Care 14

 

The Mavericks returned to the TSL and it didn’t take them long to remind everyone just who they are. After two weeks of chatter about The Malones and Can’t Touch This, the Mavs showed up and dominated. Speaking of The Malones, they took out their frustrations on the loss to Sticky on GHDC in a big, big way. 

This Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - Maybe things will get better for the Freeballers, but it’s been a rough start so far. Getting Hogan back isn’t a bad thing, but recovering from losing Sean (again, for them) is hard to do. Speaking of Sean, here he comes to obliterate his old friends with the Wet Bandits on a tear. This might be a car wreck, and if you’re at the fields, consider looking away. WET BANDITS BY 17

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits vs Can’t Touch This (+8) - Sticky took all they could handle from The Malones last week, and now they get to see what Can’t Touch This brings to the table. CTT is a similar challenge: they have fantastic females, they have a QB who can throw the ball a mile, and they have dudes that can play. Oh, and they don’t talk nearly the same amount of trash on top of it. I expect a close game that Sticky pulls away late in. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

The Malones vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - That’s right everyone, we’ve come to a point where not only is a D2 favored over the D1 team, but that D1 team is Eyes Downtown. ED continues to spiral a bit, and I don’t think a 1 point win over Scared Hitless is going to make them feel like they’re ‘back on track’ by any means. The Malones let a big win slip away last weekend. They don’t make the same mistake twice. THE MALONES BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Mavericks (+7) - The Mavericks begin their foray into the crossover games this season with Frodo Swaggins, who are 2-0 in these competitions already. This is a game everyone should be watching, as I can envision Jordan and Garrett both making plays left and right. This feels like a 48-44 type game. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4

 

Wet Bandits vs Mavericks (+10) - Things get progressively harder for the Mavericks as they get the Wet Bandits immediately after Frodo. The Mavericks have the ability to win this game, make no mistake about it, but the Mavs also have to make no mistakes to make that win happen. WET BANDITS BY 18

 

Scared Hitless vs Freeballers (+3) - Scared Hitless is oh so close to breaking through in a big way, and this game might be the one for them. They barely lost to Eyes Downtown last week, and now they get an arguably easier task in the Freeballers who are still settling into their new roster. SH takes advantage. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

 

D2

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Untouchaballs (NO LINE) - Vegas couldn’t turn out a line this week as the rumors of a Jeremy Burr-less Untouchaballs squad get louder and louder. Grey Hair has it together at least, and should add to the win column here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 8

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Bullet Club 25, Jabronies 6

Practice Squad 38, Buffalo Vice 35

Passing While Intoxicated 41, Straw Hats 30

Let’s Get Reccked 54, Straw Hats 36

Bullet Club gets back into the win column after a nice victory over the Jabronies. Practice Squad and Buffalo Vice have a great battle for first place in the division early on, with the Squad sneaking the win out. PWI gets their first official D3 victory over the Straw Hats, although it remains to be seen if the Straw Hats are a D3 team or not, as they went 0-2 on the day, allowing 95 points, also losing to LGR. 

This Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad vs Straw Hats (+10) - Not being able to stop anyone isn’t the best for the Straw Hats, and it’s even worse when they get to take on the top team in the division next. Practice Squad has been looking for these kinds of results since they dropped back down to D3, and it looks like B has this offense humming along. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (EVEN) - Rumors of Topper showing up to play in this game just so he can shut down Colorado Mike with one arm are circulating. Not quite sure where PWI slots in in D3 just yet, but a strong performance here will give us more of an idea. TAST needs to start getting the offense going here, or they’ll find themselves on the wrong side of Buddy Lee’s wrath. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Jabronies (+8) - I’m not sure what Stem Cell injections/HGH that Buffalo Vice took in the offseason, but they’re looking younger, faster, and less “muscle pull-y” than ever. Andy Clark’s Air Raid offense is clicking, and Caitlyn Mason still continues to break the ankles of even people just watching her on the sidelines. The Jabronies still have a great team with Joe Miano at the helm, and they have sneaky good girls too. They could use this win here though. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

 

Mix’n It Up vs Bullet Club (+4) - The Kellers and Bullet Club have put on some good shows over the last few seasons, and I expect more of the same here. I’m assuming Mix is going to be most of the same squad that we’ve seen over the last few seasons, which means Damien is going to be throwing to Mom, Dad, Aunt Katie, and Uncle Stegs a lot. While you may be asking yourself “The Kellers are getting old, aren’t they?”, I’d like to remind you that Kellers don’t peak athletically until they’re 50 anyway. MIX’N IT UP BY 2

 

Bullet Club vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+3) - The second leg of a double header for both teams, we get our Joe K vs Topper battle that nobody asked for. TAST was last seen running from Bullet Club in the playoffs and forfeiting. All jokes aside, look for a closely contested game where the first defense to make a mistake could cost their team a win. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - Both of these teams have followed the same script time and time again: The Wanderers win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, get called the best in D3, and blow it in the playoffs. Let’s Get Reccked is a team that everyone thinks SHOULD win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, but instead they always end up slightly under .500, win a game in the playoffs, and then blow it in the playoffs. Since it's currently the regular season? WANDERERS BY 1

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILFers 44, Select 39

Cunning Stunts 45, Creekers 20

ILFers 45, The Herd 22

Cunning Stunts 52, Vaspian 27

The Herd 34, Vaspian 28

 

The narrative of D4 is a Cunning Stunts vs ILFers showdown waiting to happen was only helped this week as both teams went 2-0, scoring 44+ points in all 4 games. The ILFers got wins over a VERY game Select (who has an outside shot at being a real problem in D4), and The Herd. The Stunts went 2-0 with wins over the Creekers (who are off to a rough start this season) and Vaspian, who would end up 0-2 on the day with a close loss to The Herd (getting their first win) later on. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILFers (+7) -  LET’S GO!! The D4 Regular Season Title will more than likely be awarded to the team that wins this game. This is a D4 title preview, and one has to wonder if the ILFers can keep up in gender TDs. Buddy Lee has been great for them at QB, and after many failures at the position, we’re finally seeing their true form. The Stunts though, man, they just keep pounding away at everyone. They’re so damn good. That’s it. That’s the tweet.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Vaspian vs Creekers (+4) - I think I’ve made it clear that the Vaspian Vibes are quite nice, despite the record, but what’s going on with the Creekers? Despite coming into the season with some expectations to be awesome, the only thing that’s been awesome for them (of course) is Mullet Guys’ mullet. VASPIAN BY 8

 

Select vs Cobblestone (+14) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar had a week off to get his mind right, and now he gets to focus on the upstart Select team who everyone is talking about. The problem might be that they’re talking about both of these teams for the wrong reasons. Cobblestone makes you wonder if they’ll even have a full team this time around, and Select’s good play has been overshadowed by infighting and Malikye (this is probably spelled wrong) being way too good for the division. Hopefully, both of these teams show up and play a good clean game. I think that’s what we’ll see. SELECT BY 18

 

GirthQuakes vs The Herd (EVEN) - The Roaring Herd got a win last week and they’re looking to continue this upward trend against a GQ team that we still don’t quite know what they are yet. However, the GQs definitely have the TSL knowledge that will give them an advantage in any game they play this season, and it’ll come in handy this week. GIRTHQUAKES BY 13

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce 34, Pit Harade 6

Come From Behind 56, Spinelli’s Plumbing 28

Not So Sticky 24, Pit Harade 12

 

Come From Behind put up a bunch of points as they tend to do, doubling up Spinelli’s. Pit Harade got a rude welcome to D5, going 0-2 in losses to Stir The Sauce and Not So Sticky. 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Stir The Sauce nearly won the D5 title last season, and they got off to a good start to the season last week as they try to win the title. Spinelli’s return to football has had mixed results so far. They’re 0-2, yet they’re averaging 33 points a game. They just need to fix the defense and they’ll be okay. Not sure that happens just yet. STIR THE SAUCE BY 5

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Not So Sticky (+7) - Not So Sticky will have their hands full this week as they get the PPGs who have been continuing their rise through the rankings of the TSL as they get better and better. They have superstars left and right, and NSS is going to be challenged to keep up with all of the PPG firepower. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+7) - A rivalry renewed, sort of, as these two former D6 foes meet up in D5, albeit with some changes. The Tud Buds have made some big changes to the roster of course, as they absorbed some of the Reset Warriors and at least in Week 1 it made a difference. PH didn’t seem to have most of their big guns last weekend, and were without QB Dave Walter as well. I’m not sure which team will have the advantage here, but this should be a close one. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

 

Come From Behind vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - Come From Behind can just put up points with ease, and in the blink of an eye you’re down 20 points. The LoVullo football DNA is strong, and when this team is on the same page, look out. Stir The Sauce will be coming off of a prior game, which could also spell trouble for them, and Wrestler Dan’s speed and height combos can be matched by some of the CFB guys as well. Should be interesting to watch. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

 

Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI (+7) - The PPGs will really get a chance to see how well they match up against the class of D5 this time around, as GUCCI makes their Fall 2024 debut, finally! Kelly Kane and company have been doing this so long together that I don’t think rust will be a factor, but getting to play the well oiled machine the PPGs are becoming will. The girls lay their claim to the throne, officially. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 29, Dogg Pound 16

Sausage McMuffins 45, TMA 29

Blitzkrieg 35, Balls Deep 14

Blitzkrieg 40, Purple Nurples 31

 

Day By Day continues the upward trend, easily handling the Dogg Pound to stay undefeated on the season. The McMuffins hold off TMA, who, it turns out, plays much better when a QB shows up for them. Fall Blitzkrieg is in full effect, going 2-0 in their first action of the season, easily dispatching Balls Deep, and then pulling away from the Purple Nurples. 

This Week’s Games

 

Sticky Laces vs TMA (EVEN) - TMA gave us a glimpse of the TMA of old last week, and I’m expecting things to continue here. Once they get a bit of confidence, they’re a much better squad. They still have studs on the team like Brent and Val, so it’s not like all is lost. Sticky Laces started off hot, which was good for them after a rough opening season. I’m not sure the week off helped them though. TMA BY 10

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Championship preview? Both teams have started off great, as they’re 2-0 and won rather easily so far. The McMuffins score a little more but FBK has a little better defense. Both teams are going to get up for this one. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 1

 

Balls Deep vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - Two 0-2 teams are out here looking for the first win of the season. Both teams are struggling on offense so far, as they’re both averaging 16 points a game (Okay, DP is at 16.5) and until they figure out how to score more, this is going to be a tough year. However the DP defense has been slightly better, and because of that, i’ll give them the nod here. DOGG POUND BY 2

 

Day By Day vs Purple Nurples (+6) - Day By Day has just been playing solid, systematic, good football, while the Purple Nurples are sort of the opposite, just kind of winging it and seeing what sticks. Sometimes that can lead to scoring outbursts, sometimes it leads to frustration. Give me the team that’s been steady lately. DAY BY DAY BY 6

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The big one, as always, is how does the weather look for this weekend? My weather channel app here in Des Moines, Iowa tells me that Buffalo weather is looking like Buffalo weather: wet, 60 degrees, and a bit of wind. Football weather, sure. Get your cleat cleaners out for this week. And probably a change of clothes. 

 

 

 

• After such a close one against Sticky, do The Malones win the rest of their crossover games? As much as I’d love to say yes, I think The Malones end up losing to the Wet Bandits whenever they play as well. 

 

 

 

• What teams are looking to be struggling early on? Eyes Downtown just simply isn’t Eyes Downtown as of late. Freeballers really seem to be struggling so far this year. We might have jumped the gun on the Jabronies. The Untouchaballs might be boned if the rumors are true. 

• Who’s having a really great season so far? It’s not so much a team, but a player. I think Buddy Lee is really turning into one of the best QBs in the league. He’s 4-1 this season, winning with PWI, ILFers, and in Breakfast Club too. The only loss he’s had so far is the PWI game where they didn’t have enough girls to start the year. More and more eyes are on him as his storyline develops.

 

 

 

• How is Breakfast Club looking after one week? The TSL’s often imitated but never duplicated draft league division is looking spot on after week one. We had two games that were incredibly close (1 and 4 points), and while the other one was a bit of a blowout (20 points), that’s more due to the losing team losing Captain Dri unexpectedly than anything. BC is the best thing a TSL player can do. It’s fun, and it’s much less stressful than your regular games. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Joey Batts is really, really good. I know he’s been telling you that for the last decade, but he just feels like he’s on another level this season with the Wet Bandits and Cunning Stunts. Hot take: he wins both titles this year. 

 

 

 

• If the Jeremy Burr rumors are true and he bailed on the Untouchaballs and being a transcendent QB just to chase a title or whatever he’s doing, that’s incredibly sad and the league just got worse overall for it. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 32, Dri Girls 1 Cup 30

• All Ryled Up 35, Syd On My Face 20

• Steph Infection 44, Carlyac Arrest 30

 

 

 

• Games of The Day:

• 10:00 - The Malones vs Eyes Downtown

• 11:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

• 12:00 - ILFers vs Cunning Stunts

• 1:00 - Creekers vs Vaspian

• 2:00 - Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - GirthQuakes vs The Herd

 

 

 

• B’S BROTHER MADE HIS RETURN TO THE FIELDS AND WE WERE ALL BETTER FOR IT! 

 

 

 

• Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers is also going to be a very good game, feel free to watch that one. 

 

 

 

• Refs not showing up to games, not putting down cones, and not picking up the dog toys afterwards is not a great look for the league, but it also shows the character of the good people of the league that stepped up and stepped in when help was needed in a split second. 

 

 

 

• Dog Day is official for next week, September 14th, from 12-2. Get ready to give all the love to the pups and kittens! 

 

 

 

• People who worry way too much about an “overpowered player” in a certain division really just don’t believe in themselves or their own team enough. Accept the challenge and beat them. 

 

 

 

• As always, if you want me to write more about your team and shout out your players, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. today. Stop dragging your feet and do it like so many others have! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 13 September 2024 13:53

Published: Friday, 13 September 2024 13:53

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2300

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, just like that, in the blink of an eye, we find ourselves rolling into the halfway point of the season as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins its approach to the finish line. Historically in the TSL, it’s not how you start a season that matters, it’s how you finish it. With the rosters locked in for the TSL Fall 2024 Season, the teams that have struggled so far this year really have to take the next few weeks to figure out what ails them. In reality, all of the TSL’s teams have some things they need to work on (not you, Wet Bandits, you’re fine) just some have a lot less to worry about than others. Week 4 of the TSL regular season is the perfect week to really lock in your focus on where your team is struggling, and figure out what you need to do to achieve the ultimate goal of Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. 

 

With all of that said, the season has already been quite a ride. We have had forfeits, injuries, pouring rain, ref issues, the existence of Field 5, and just this week a new team, Straw Hats, was forced to fold in D3. But we’ve also had some beautiful weather for games. B’s Brother has been at the fields, as has his probable father, Topper (It’s down to Topper and Cookie Monster, and both have refused DNA tests). We’ve had a large number of very close games (1-3 points). The D2 teams are absolutely up for the fight in the D1/D2 crossover games, proving that they’re not “lesser” teams by any means, and sparking interest in future D3/D4 and D5/D6 crossover matchups. The bar has been hopping for sure. This week the TSL is going to have a bunch of adoptable cats and dogs from the animal shelter there from 12-2 for your petting pleasure. Lots of good things have been happening. Weird things have happened too. Like the Wet Bandits, Grey Hair Don’t Care, and Bullet Club have all played 5 games so far this year (Bullet Club is technically at 6 if you count the Straw Hats future forfeit win for them too) while GUCCI has only played 1 game so far this season, and handful of teams only have played twice. 

 

Heading into Week 4 here’s each division’s Top Seed and Bottom Seed if the playoffs started today, and we’ll see if these hold up going into the playoffs in October. 

 

D1: Top Seed - Wet Bandits, 5-0, beating everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the top seed, looking dominant. Bottom Seed - Freeballers, 0-4, getting beaten by everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the bottom seed, stuck with Hogan. 

 

D2: Top Seed - Mavericks, 2-1, got the vibes right yet again, but have a 25% chance of staying the top seed, which is all about how competitive the division is and has nothing to do with their own play. Bottom Seed - Grey Hair Don’t Care, 1-4, their only win is against a D1 team, has an 80% chance to stay the bottom seed, just because they have 2 more losses than anyone else does already. 

 

D3: Top Seed - Practice Squad, 3-0, hell of a good start for them, have a 30% chance to stay the top seed, mainly due to the fact that they have a forfeit win and beat a PWI squad that was short handed in Week 1. The schedule is going to get much tougher. Bottom Seed - Topper All-Stars & Todd, 0-3, haven’t had Topper yet, have a 43% chance to stay the bottom seed, but with a returning Topper, along with Aaron and Drew, can start pulling off a string of wins as well. 

 

D4: Top Seed - Cunning Stunts, 4-0, already beat their main competition, 97% chance to finish as the top seed, none of that matters since they do this all of the time and choke in the playoffs. Bottom Seed - Cobblestone, 0-3, multiple forfeits because of a lack of girl power, 100% chance to finish as the bottom seed unless they fix the roster issues that have plagued them this season. 

 

D5: Top Seed - Two Tuddies, 2-0, off to a good start with the new look roster, 30% chance to stay as the top seed, lots and lots of good games upcoming that they won’t be favored in. Bottom Seed - Pit Harade, 0-3, the move up to D5 hasn’t been easy, 75% chance to stay as the bottom seed, moving up divisions is hard for any team in the TSL, and doing it with a new QB and roster issues ramps up the difficulty. 

 

D6: Top Seed - Blitzkrieg, 3-0, looking really, really good again, 85% chance to finish as the top seed as they beat their biggest competitor (Sausage McMuffins) and they’re LONG overdue to get a championship. Bottom Seed - Dogg Pound, 0-3, essentially still an expansion team, 50% chance to stay the bottom seed as any team in the bottom half of the D6 standings can get hot and rise up (or get cold and fall off), so why not them? 

 

That’s where things stand as we head into Week 4. What does it all mean? Nothing specific. It just means the story of the TSL Fall 2024 season is still unfolding, and there’s still time to write your perfect ending. And that includes Freeballers, Grey Hair, TAST, Cobblestone, Pit Harade, and the Dogg Pound too. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 39, Freeballers 13

 

The best in the division meets the worst in the division, things go kind of as expected. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Sticky Bandits 33

Eyes Downtown 38, The Malones 24

Mavericks 42, Frodo Swaggins 34

Wet Bandits 45, Mavericks 32

Scared Hitless 33, Freeballers 21

 

D1 leads the season series 6-4.

The most fun you can have during a TSL Saturday besides playing is watching a D1/D2 crossover game. Can’t Touch This knocks off the defending D1 champion Sticky Bandits, Mavericks took out Frodo before losing to the Wet Bandits, and Scared Hitless beat the Freeballers to give D2 a 3-2 win this week in the D1 v D2 standings. Eyes Downtown got things together and reminded everyone who they are as they beat up on The Malones 38-24 as well. 

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs 32, Grey Hair Don’t Care 31

 

All is right with the world as Jeremy Burr showed up to the fields, and just did what he does best: win football games. His team helped too, I think. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

D1

 

None. There are no D1-only games this week. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - The Untouchaballs got Burr back at QB and they immediately put up points and quieted any worries that they were in trouble this season. The Freeballers, however, continue to look like they’re in trouble, as things just aren’t breaking right for them this season. The schedule isn’t easy the rest of the way, but it’s also not as hard as the beginning of it was, perhaps giving hope that the ship can be righted. There’s no hope here. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Scared Hitless is about to pop. You can feel them quietly getting to another level while everyone is paying attention to everyone else. They won’t be able to catch Sticky napping after they lost to CTT last week though, but expect a great game. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins (EVEN) - Frodo is playing well, but they don’t quite have a “signature win” on the season, although you can argue that the win over CTT was close. The Malones are a buzzsaw that currently needs sharpening. I’m not sure The Malones have ever lost two weeks in a row, and for the storyline I’m going to just assume they haven’t. On the one hand, they lost their crossover games so far, but on the other hand it was against Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown, two of the premier franchises in TSL history, and they just had a bad half in each game. Both teams need this win, and they’re going to play like it. THE MALONES BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+7) - Eyes Downtown got back on track a bit last week as they put the finishing moves on The Malones ascension to the TSL heavens. It was a good game for ED, and it hopefully signals the turn around they’ve needed since winning the D1 title last fall. If anyone is going to slow down the Wet Bandits, besides Kevin McAllister, it’ll be ED. They’ve done it before. As for GHDC, the season hasn’t been the best for this squad, but they’re a smart bunch that you can’t sleep on. They really need to fix that defense though, and they have 4 games to do it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Two teams with the green “trending up” arrows meet in a regular old boring D2 matchup. Just kidding, there’s nothing boring here when you could potentially get a Jeremy Burr vs Travis smack talking matchup on a Saturday. Burr is always at his best when he can fire himself up though, and you know he’s still mad about Travis kicking him off the Legends (when Burr was a sub in the playoff) because Boccio appeared (and he’s scared the Wet Bandits will do that to him again this season). Burr takes this out on SH. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad 21, Straw Hats 0 (forfeit)

Passing While Intoxicated 38, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 18

Jabronies 40, Buffalo Vice 30

Mix’n It Up 28, Bullet Club 18

Bullet Club 35, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 6

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

 

Lots of fun D3 games this week. Practice Squad stays on top of the standings as Straw Hats have to forfeit and then unfortunately fold the team. PWI gets another win in D3 as they beat TAST. The Jabronies slip by Buffalo Vice who continue to put up 30+ points consistently in D3. Mix’n It Up finally gets to play a complete game, and they get by Bullet Club to move to 2-0 on the season. Bullet Club would rebound, dominating TAST right after, to get to 1-1 on the day. And lastly the Wanderers held off Let’s Get Reccked 36-32. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Wanderers vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - PWI, on paper, is looking good in D3. They’re 2-1, and they can hold their heads high knowing they lost in Week 1 with only 5 people on the field. However, they probably played about as easy a schedule as anyone could have. Business is about to pick up as PWI plays the Wanderers, who are constant D3 favorites, and a first ballot “Social Co-Ed Football Hall of Fame” team. The real season for PWI starts now. WANDERERS BY 12

 

Wanderers vs Mix’n It Up (+3) - The Kellers returned to the fields last week, played one game, and walked off with 2 wins as only they could do (The suspended Straw Hats game they played in Week 1 was awarded to them, but still). Damien continues to grow as a QB, Katie Keller continues to be a dominant player even in her 40s, and everyone on this team knows exactly what to do. The Wanderers, of course, have played the same brand of football for 7 decades, and these two teams are very similar in a lot of ways, but give me the experience of Frank every time. WANDERERS BY 8

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Bullet Club (+7) - Let’s Get Reccked has only played two games, but they looked good in both of them. Bullet Club has played in 5 games, and has looked good and bad and I’m not sure what we’re getting out of them this season. Right now LGR feels like an outside title contender, and BC feels like they’re just on the outside looking in. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Practice Squad (+3) - I’m waiting for B to point out that he doesn’t get any respect, but I’m pretty sure I sing his praises often, thank you very much. PS is a weak 3-0, and even he’s going to admit that, beating a 5-man PWI, getting a forfeit win, and then only beating Vice by 3 in the one real game they had all year. A win here would go a long way for Practice Squad, but we’ve been waiting for LGR to have a dominant season for a few seasons now, and this might be the one. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 13

 

Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+7) - The rumors are swirling that not only that we might see Topper don his customary hat and get on the field for the first time this season, but also that his shoulder is feeling better than ever (in his defense, he can’t remember more than 3 years ago anymore, so he’s right), and our fearless leader is going to line up behind center. There’s nothing the league would want to see more than a Topper vs B football matchup, that’s for sure. However while the arm is feeling great, there’s still some rust on his brain to shake off, so it’ll be interesting to see how a comeback shakes out. It could be rough, but it’ll more likely be like when Mario Lemieux returned to the NHL after retiring and had 3 points like he never left. Right? PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts 52, ILF 36

Select 21, Cobblestone 0 (forfeit)

The Herd 40, GirthQuakes 28 

 

The Cunning Stunts knock off ILF to establish dominance in D4, Select gets a forfeit win over Cobblestone (but they did play a game!), and The Herd gets another win as they beat the GQs. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Creekers vs GirthQuakes (+3) - The Creekers haven’t really been themselves yet this season, but with only two games under their belts so far, there’s definitely time for improvement. The GirthQuakes are coming along in their first season, but there’s been some growing pains for the new squad that are continuing to work themselves out. CREEKERS BY 7

 

Cunning Stunts vs Cobblestone (+21) - If Cobblestone doesn’t want to field a squad for this one, I can’t say I’d blame them. The Stunts continue to be on another level, and we don’t know quite what Cobblestone can actually do at full strength. CUNNING STUNTS BY 16

 

The Herd vs Cobblestone (+3) - The Herd is slowly coming together for sure, and it’s good to see the improvement they’ve had in their second season. They seem to have gotten a handle on how to beat the “non-top” teams in the division. THE HERD BY 8

 

Select vs Vaspian (+8) - Vaspian returns after a week off, looking to continue the “our record is 1-3 but we haven’t been that bad at all” season they have going for them. Select has had some fireworks it seems, but they’re 3-1 and they have a superstar on the team that everyone else is seemingly a bit afraid of in Malikye (which I’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong, my bad). SELECT BY 14

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing 53, Stir The Sauce 52

Not So Sticky 25, Powerpuff Girls 24

Two Tuddies 44, Pit Harade 22

Stir The Sauce 21, Come From Behind 20

GUCCI 42, Powerpuff Girls 41

 

5 games in D5, and four of them were one point games. Spinelli’s just outlasts STS who then goes on to beat CFB by a point themselves. The Powerpuff Girls went 0-2 on the day with two 1 point losses, one to Not So Sticky, and the other to the returning GUCCI. The Two Tuddies doubled up on Pit Harade in the other game, as they go to 2-0 on the year. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Not So Sticky vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - Spinelli’s finally showed up this season (for them, I mean scoring 50+ points) and they looked good doing it as they remembered who they are. That’s not great news for the rest of D5. However, if there’s one team that’s pretty good at slowing down high octane offenses, it’s NSS. This game will probably end up in the 20s for both teams, unless NSS just can’t run with SP. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - The perennial top two teams in D5 for the last few seasons have themselves some company with STS, PPG, NSS, and Spinelli’s all looking like top tier D5 contenders. In this classic matchup, you can expect some high scoring, and a close game. GUCCI looks to be as good as always, although CFB seems to be starting slow for whatever reason. That’s the only reason to bet against them. GUCCI BY 6

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+10) - These two teams already met once earlier in the year, as STS cruised to an easy victory and they haven’t really looked back since. STS has been pretty impressive so far this year, while Pit Harade is looking to be having a rough go at it so far. Perhaps they’ll figure it out this season, but not this game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 13

 

GUCCI vs Two Tuddies (+8) - The Tud Buds have something going here with the new look roster, but this is easily the measuring stick they need to see if they have what it takes. Beating GUCCI means getting gender TDs, which Kory said on the podcast this week that the Tuddies have SEVEN of, so perhaps they’re preparing for GUCCI (and the PPG) ahead of time? Either way, GUCCI represents a much harder challenge, and I’m not sure the Tuddies are up for it just yet. GUCCI BY 13

 

Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies (+8) - Hell of a double header for the Tuddies this week, as they get to test themselves not only against GUCCI, but also against the arguably hottest team in the league right now. STIR THE SAUCE BY 10

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

TMA 39, Sticky Laces 10

Blitzkrieg 33, Sausage McMuffins 22

Balls Deep 36, Dogg Pound 6

Purple Nurples 51, Day By Day 32

 

TMA is on the board! TMA gets a win over the Sticky Laces, and they’re starting to look like TMA once again. Blitzkrieg wins the battle of top D6 teams over the McMuffins to take control of the division. Balls Deep easily handled Dogg Pound, and the Purple Nurples finally put it all together, pulling off a slight upset of Day By Day. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

TMA vs Dogg Pound (+6) - TMA got back on the horse last week, and now they’re looking to win two in a row against a Dogg Pound team still finding its way. The veteran TMA squad should have no real issues in this one, provided they all show up. I’ll assume Brent gets two touchdowns in this one. TMA BY 14

 

Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day (+7) - Day By Day continues to play well, even despite the loss last week, and they have an outside shot to give BK a run at the title. Fall Blitzkrieg has looked very good, but we’ve seen this before out of them, and as long as they don’t stumble down the stretch, things will look good for them to finally capture D6. This is a measuring stick game for Day By Day, and it’ll tell them this: They’re close, but not quite there yet. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+3) - The McMuffins suffered a blow last week, but that doesn’t mean they’re down for the count. They still have loads of talent, and they’re facing a Balls Deep squad that so desperately wants to be mentioned as a true D6 title contender instead of “just on the outside”. Their offense seems to be improving, but we need to see them score against a top team before taking them too seriously. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 9

 

Purple Nurples vs Sticky Laces (+3) - Sticky Laces got their first loss of the season last week, while the Nurps got their first win. This game is going to be all about if the Laces can keep up with the Nurps in scoring, and while the Nurps’ D tends to allow that, I’m not sure the Laces’ Offense will take advantage. PURPLE NURPLES BY 11

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+12) - Day By Day is a team that is trending up, Dogg Pound is a team that needs to figure stuff out. Not much more to say about this one. DAY BY DAY BY 16

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• What is Dog Day? What can I expect? The Buffalo Animal Shelter will be at the fields from 12pm-2pm with a bunch of adorable, adoptable dogs (and cats!) who you can pet, play with, and even adopt yourself! We had a few animals find homes last year when we did this event, hopefully we can help some more! Also, since next week is “reduced adoption week” at the shelter, anyone who puts in an application at the fields will get half off of the adoption fee! 

 

 

 

• What teams seem to be taking a leap forward this season? Can you say the Wet Bandits? They’re playing better than they have been. Stir The Sauce is very much on that list, as is Day By Day, the Powerpuff Girls, The Herd, Frodo Swaggins, and Buffalo Vice too. 

 

 

 

• What happens to D3 now that the Straw Hats folded? Jeff Krol told me that it becomes a 9 team division, and the 8-9 seeds will play in the “first round play-in game” like D3 had last season. Everyone Straw Hats didn’t play will get the 21-0 forfeit win, while the games they already played will stand. 

 

 

 

• D1 and D2 are definitely going to combine, right? I was convinced they were going to for this season, and it didn’t happen, but now with how competitive D2 has been with D1 AGAIN this season, it’s going to be hard not to do it. This has been the most fun a D1 season has been in ages. 

• Can you name three of the best teams nobody is talking about? Oh that’s easy, it’s very clearly Scared Hitless as I pointed out earlier. After that, Buffalo Vice is scoring the way they did in D4, and it's only a matter of time before they get a few more wins. The Creekers are 0-2 and are out of sight, out of mind for many TSLers. But let’s not forget just how good they’ve been the last few seasons. We could blink and they’ll be 4-2 in a few weeks and nobody would be surprised. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Steph is going to win the Breakfast Club championship, again. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 33, Syd On My Face 18

• D’s Nutz 27, Carlyac Arrest 22

• Steph Infection 40, All Ryled Up 24

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day

• 11:00 - Scared Hitless vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Mix’n It Up vs Wanderers

• 1:00 - The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins

• 2:00 - Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd

• 3:00 - Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• It’s a big week for many teams, but the Two Tuddies have two huge games against GUCCI and Stir The Sauce that will really show if they’re contenders or not. 

 

 

 

• Really kind of waiting to see the Can’t Touch This vs The Malones game that will happen later in the year at some point.

 

 

 

• After there was a bit of a lightning and pouring rain scenario that delayed the games last week, you’re looking at a beautiful 84 degree, sunny day. Perfect weather, wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• Remember, you can NOT just pick up random subs at the fields on game day. Subs must be requested by 3pm on Friday. 

 

 

 

• There’s a lot of exciting new talent in the TSL that’s really coming into their own the last few seasons, the future of the league just feels bright. 

 

 

 

• As always, keep emailing me about the state of your teams and who to give shout outs to! This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you need to send your emails! 

 

 

 

• Please continue treating the refs with respect and not screaming at them for making a potential mistake, and also good work on keeping the fields cleaned up, that’s been a big issue in the past. Good work TSL! 

 

 

-GF OUT

Week 2

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Published: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Written by Patrick McGovern

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And just like that, we’re off. That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on! Week 1 is in the books, and it gave us everything we wanted and more! There were close games, there were blowouts, there were ambulances, there were suspensions, there was the surprise that neither of the last two things were related to the Wet Uptowns vs Eyes Downtown game in any way, there was Joey Batts not answering B’s Brother’s request for a way to the fields on Facebook, the weather was hot, Field 5 wasn’t that terrible besides a rock here and there, and lots of teams had fun. 

 

There were quite a lot of things going on, and as usual it’s on me to sort out what’s really happening after the first week of TSL action. Don’t forget that the results of Week 1 tend to have next to no effect on the outcomes of Championship Saturday. Teams could’ve just been missing players last week, teams could’ve been getting new players used to their system (most TSL teams don’t have mandatory two-a-day practice sessions like Bobby does for Eyes Downtown), etc. There’s enough proof out there that a bad Week 1 doesn’t mean it’s the end for your season already. But a good Week 1 can be the beginning of your Story of Immortality. Who had a good start? Who had a bad one? 

 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Select showed up as a new team, got through some uh, challenging times during both of their games, and ended up 2-0 on the day with two 1-point victories over the GirthQuakes and Vaspian.

• Wet Bandits start off 2-0, and score a lot of points in doing so as they continue looking for the championship they haven’t won for over a calendar year now. 

• Vaspian is 1-1, but they were an inch away from starting 2-0 and being on top of D4. 

• Sticky Laces jumped out to a 2-0 record in D6 after a trying first season. 

• Day By Day (Just Joshing) continued their rising trend from last season with a blowout win. 

• Power Puffs lay the smack down on multiple candy asses, unleash new secret weapon on the league, start off 2-0. 

• The Malones easily win their first game in D2, whispers about why they were scared of D1 already beginning. 

• Wanderers do Wanderers things, start off 2-0 and seem poised to finally win that title. Of course if Week 1 decided the champions, they’d have 3 titles already. 

• Can’t Touch This is 1-1, but had a close, 5 point loss against Frodo in a Crossover game. 

• Freeballers show they have guts, move up to D1 without Sean (who is going #1 in TSL fantasy drafts on espn.com) and lose to the defending champs. But only by 8 points, proving they belong. (And they didn’t have Hogan throwing, but that may have helped.)

 

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• The Jabronies are 1-1, beating TAST but couldn’t hang with the Wanderers. Bad Klecker (not to be confused with Good Klecker, the QB everyone likes) may need to sacrifice a potted plant once again.

• Practice Squad gets a great win to start the year, but also it was against 5 people. 

• Cunning Stunts kill a team. Typical. 

• Two Tuddies change QBs, get a win over fierce rival Not So Sticky, but they’ve played them enough that it isn’t impressive. 

• Spinelli’s Plumbing put up 38 points in their return, but also allowed 50. 

• D1/D2 Crossover Games have D1 at 2-0 so far this season, but results were split in that one game was very close and the other wasn’t. The Malones are coming. 

 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• TMA moves back to D6, promptly gets stomped. 

• Bullet Club is the first team to allow 100 points this session, dropping to 0-2 very quickly. 

• PWI makes a grand entrance to D3 with only 5 players, proving what everyone already knows: women just want to avoid being around Colorado Mike at all costs. 

• Cobblestone starts off 0-2, looks to be crumbling from the outside, Darryl Carr QB Superstar wants to knock down the roster and rebuild, people won’t let him. He can only do so much. 

• Jeremy Burr didn’t play last week, which isn’t good for anyone. 

• Eyes Downtown 0-1 again, under .500 for their last 10 games, considering changes at QB and DL. 

• Jeff Krol worries more about moving into his new mansion and parenting over updating the website poll, Topper rumored to return to power. 

 

 

And there you have it, that’s where the TSL stands currently after an exciting first week. What does Week 2 hold? Let’s find out. 

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Freeballers 29

Wet Bandits 39, Eyes Downtown 34

 

All of the Bandits got wins last week in D1 games, but more importantly they were close games, which bodes well for the future of the division. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wet Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - Frodo got their win back over CTT in a Crossover game last week as a nice tune-up, but it’s time to see if this version of the team is up to the test of the top D1 teams, or if they’re still a step behind. WET BANDITS BY 13

D1/D2 CROSSOVER CORNER!

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 34, Can’t Touch This 29

Wet Bandits 57, Grey Hair Don’t Care 22

 

D1 is leading the season series 2-0. 

Frodo Swaggins lost to CTT last year in the crossover games, but snuck out a win this time around, as Can’t Touch This continues to show they can probably be a pretty good D1 team if they keep it up. The Wet Bandits beat up on a returning Grey Hair Don’t Care, playing their second game of the day, in the heat. Not the best way to start things off for them. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs The Malones (+3) - YES YES YES, ABSOLUTELY YES. Not only do we get The Malones playing a D1 game, they get the DEFENDING CHAMPS RIGHT AWAY. After wondering for so long if The Malones can keep up with the best teams in the TSL, we get to see them go against the reigning champs. What fun! Game of the Day is right here. If you’re not playing at 10, you should be watching this game. THE MALONES BY 2

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+6) - So right after we get a Sticky - Malones matchup, we’re gifted a Garrett vs Jeremy Burr QB Battle? Thank you scheduling gods! I don’t love that UT didn’t play a game yet this season together, but they’re getting Frodo on the back half of a double header too? There’s rumors of this being the end for The Untouchaballs after this season, so expect them to go extra hard all season. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (EVEN) - In a matchup that once sounded like a ‘pretty okay’ D2 game that would happen at 3:00 on Field 4, we get a matchup SOAKING in intrigue and drama. The Freeballers won D2 last year with Dave Eickhoff throwing darts around the field and his offense (which was more than just “throw it high to Sean) was the change the FB needed to win it all. And then he left them for Grey Hair to return to the TSL after a season off. A rusty Hogan, Eickhoff knowing how to pick apart the defense of the team he just played for, and Garbacz there to make a crucial bad call that makes a Keita or two flip out? Stick this directly into my veins. FREEBALLERS BY 1

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+10) - This game doesn’t really have the flair the others do, but don’t let that fool you, it’ll be a good game. Just two months ago these two met in a Crossover game that Eyes Downtown won 34-28, so Scared Hitless can absolutely hang here. I’m just not exactly sure if they’re going to. Eyes Downtown just feels like they NEED this win more than SH does. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Malones 43, Scared Hitless 28

Can’t Touch This 36, Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

 

The Malones start off their D2 campaign the same way they rock every game, scoring over 40 points and winning comfortably. Can’t Touch This continues their winning ways that they ended their season on last year (save for winning the title, sure) with an easy win over GHDC. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks (EVEN) - The Mavericks are becoming a little forgotten in the D2 world. Last season, they got off to a hot start, and played a bunch of games early, which may have hurt them come playoff time. Either way, the lack of games later in the season last year, plus missing Week 1, has given them a sort of “under the radar” status to some degree. Let’s remember that this is a VERY good team that has it all - Great Girls, Good-Great Guys, and arguably the best QB in the division. Last year, they had all the good vibes too. This year? I’m not feeling it just yet. A big win here should help with that, but for some reason I don’t feel it just yet. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

The Malones vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+12) - I’m not entirely sure Grey Hair Don’t Care will be able to keep up with The Malones. That’s really all it comes down to. THE MALONES BY 17

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers 28, Jabronies 24

Buffalo Vice 48, Bullet Club 31

Jabronies 34, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 12

Wanderers 53, Bullet Club 29

Practice Squad 44, Passing While Intoxicated 8

 

The Wanderers went 2-0 with wins over the Jabronies and Bullet Club, proving everyone right that they’re the team to beat this session. Speaking of Bullet Club, they fell to 0-2 on the season by also losing to Buffalo Vice. The Jabronies may have lost to the Wanderers but they did go 1-1 on the day with a win over TAST, and PWI got dunked on in their “Welcome to D3” game by B and The Lantzes (which is also the name of their secret underground jazz band). 

This Week’s Games:

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+10) - The Jabronies lost to the Wanderers by 4, and Bullet Club lost to them by 24. That should be all you need to really know going into this game, but last year these two played a very close game that came down to the wire. I expect more of the same here, but BC is staring 0-3 in the face. JABRONIES BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - An early matchup between two teams trying to get to 2-0. Every D3 game has playoff tiebreaker implications, meaning every game is close, and I feel like these two teams will be battling to be above the 7 seed so they get a “bye” of sorts, which means this game is BIG. Vice dropped 48 last week, which shouldn’t be too surprising since they DID drop 66 in a playoff game last season. They’ve figured out the “D3” learning curve after some ups and downs. The Caitlyn Mason vs Renee Lantz battle should be a great one to watch too. I think we’re going to see some B magic this time around. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Straw Hats (EVEN) - This game was hard for the oddsmakers to give a line to because they didn’t know what to expect from Straw Hats yet, and PWI just had a brutal debut a week ago. But PWI has Buddy Lee, quietly one of the better QBs in the league, and I’ve seen enough from PWI over the years to know that when they have a bad week, they bounce back better than just about anyone.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 12

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Straw Hats (+6) - LGR continues to be an enigma of sorts because you’re always left thinking “This team should be much better than its record ever shows.” They have the smarts and the talent to be great, although there’s some questions about the depth of the roster at times. Regardless, they’ll be a tough task for a Straw Hats team we know nothing about (but they can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know who they are!). LETS GET RECCKED BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILF 26, Cobblestone 0

Select 28, GirthQuakes 27

Vaspian 31, Creekers 12

GirthQuakes 21, Cobblestone 0 (Forfeit)

Select 27, Vaspian 26

Cunning Stunts 52, The Herd 24

The Stunts and ILF both won their games pretty easily, as expected, as they move towards a D4 title game battle with each other. Cobblestone dropped to 0-2, but that was due to player issues unfortunately. The GirthQuakes end up 1-1, losing by a point to Select, and getting a forfeit win. Speaking of Select, they’re 2-0 after two victories, and they’ve gotten off to a (mostly) great start! Vaspian lost to Select by a point, but they beat up on the Creekers 31-12, perhaps signaling a Vaspian return to glory? We can only hope. 

This Week’s Games

 

ILF vs Select (+7) - Select has the good feelings from being 2-0, but it’s one thing to beat a brand new team and Vaspian, and another to play ILF, who has been at the top of the division for a little while now and with Buddy Lee at QB for them (giving ILF their first “actual” QB ever) it should be what they need to get over the hump and win it all. If Select is truly going to factor into the D4 title picture, a win (or at least a close loss) is needed here. Not sure they’re going to get it. ILF BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+8) - Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Cunning Stunts easily put up 50+ points after adding another top flight female (this time it’s Maddie Norton) to the squad. It’s still weird that the Stunts haven’t won D4 yet, Matty’s Angels would’ve done it twice by now. It’s still par for the course for the Stunts, but for the Creekers I’m not so sure. A 19 point loss to Vaspian is a bit surprising (I’m going to assume they were missing people), and a game against the Stunts isn’t a way to stop the bleeding. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

ILF vs The Herd (+14) - The schedule makers didn’t do The Herd any favors, giving them the best two teams in the league right out of the gate. On the other hand, they’ll get the hard ones out of the way, learn from these two games, and be able to apply those lessons to the “weaker” teams they have left on the schedule. At least, in theory anyway. ILF BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs Vaspian (+10) - Great start for Vaspian, as I’ve said ten times now. I’d like to see them keep it rolling, but the Stunts are just built different….. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

Vaspian vs The Herd (+10) - ….but The Herd is not. Another doubleheader for Vaspian, another 1-1 week. VASPIAN BY 10

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

PowerPuff Girls 44, Come From Behind 26

PowerPuff Girls 50, Spinelli’s Plumbing 38

Two Tuddies 23, Not So Sticky 18

 

The PowerPuff Girls have very, very clearly planted their flag and let the world know that they’re coming for that D5 title. They beat perennial contender Come From Behind rather easily, and then they beat former D5 champions Spinelli’s as well. That’s a GREAT start for the Girls. The Two Tuddies started off on the right foot with their new look roster, getting a win over Not So Sticky. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+8) - Stir The Sauce had a really good first season last spring which saw them stay close in most games and then upset GUCCI in the playoffs as well. They fell short of winning the title by 4 points against THK, so they’re well positioned to have a really good season. They get a good start to the season playing Pit Harade, who came up from D6 despite not winning the championship. They were 12-5 the last two seasons though, so it kind of makes sense to move up. QB Dave Walter will have his hands full in PH’s first D5 game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - This could be a high scoring affair if everything goes right. Both teams are looking to bounce back after beatings by the PPGs, so it will be quite interesting to see who does a better job of it. It’ll be weird seeing CFB at 0-2. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

 

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+8) - Not So Sticky looks to get back to some winning ways after last week, and getting the brand new D5 team on the back end of a double header seems to be the way to do it. This should be a fun game, but look for NSS to exploit PH as they’re learning the D5 game. NOT SO STICKY BY 13

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 44, TMA 7

Sticky Laces 19, Dogg Pound 17

Sticky Laces 28, Balls Deep 18

Sausage McMuffins 46, Purple Nurples 29

Day By Day gets a huge win over TMA to start the season off right. Sticky Laces is 2-0 after a 2 point win over Dogg Pound (these teams always play close, good games), and then they beat Balls Deep as well. Lastly, The McMuffins dropped 46 on the Purple Nurples. Not sure if that’s the result of the McMuffin offense being really good again, or the Nurples’ Defense being really not so good again. Time will tell. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+7) - The DPs were close yet again last week, but couldn’t quite get there. After going through the QB carousel last year, here’s hoping they’ve settled on one and they can continue to improve Week By Week. DBD, on the other side of the field, has really figured it out ever since about Week 5 last spring, and the statement win last week is a sign of things to come. While both of these teams started out at the same time, one of them is a little further along with their development. DAY BY DAY BY 11

 

Sausage McMuffins vs TMA (+10) - SMM finds themselves in an all too familiar position of D6 title contenders who can score, usually, but something always creeps up and ruins the season for them. While this team likes having fun (as it is full of good people), I’m thinking this is the season they need to go for everyone’s throats and have a bit of an edge to them. They get a good candidate to do that in TMA, who didn’t quite get the “Welcome Back to D6!” respect they maybe should’ve gotten. Dorene mentioned on the TSL podcast (Listen on Spotify!) they were short handed, so let’s hope that that was just a blip on the radar. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - I don’t know who’s throwing for BK, and as always I’m hoping it's Light Red Hoodie Guy. Unless Alex found a way to play, which would be great for BK. The TSL’s version of “When is it finally going to be their time??” got a gift this offseason when Pit Harade and Back That Pass Up left the division, which means they have the best chance to win they’ve had in a while. Balls Deep is one of the contenders to take them down, and BD DID beat them last season, but I think that was a fluke. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Purple Nurples (+10) - Same as above for BK, the Nurples COULD represent a D6 challenger, as they’ve been a tough D6 team for a couple of seasons before last spring, where the wheels fell off for some reason, and they couldn’t even cover the “Shady Pines Retirement Home All Stars” in a scrimmage game in July, losing 58-14. (In their defense, Edith Granderson is the greatest 77 year old female football player of all time. She’s slippery.) It’s hard to say if they figured it out yet, but this will be a good test. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 19

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who’s going to win Breakfast Club? Breakfast Club starts this week for the Fall season, and for the most part the sign ups were encouraging! We have 3 new captains this season - Sydney from Two Tuddies, Carly from Jabronies (teaming up with Jenna), and Rylee from Sticky Bandits. They join Dorene, Dri, and Hall of Fame Breakfast Club Captain Steph in battle this year. The rosters all look really, really even this time around, but my “preseason” prediction is that we’ll be seeing All Ryled Up losing in the finals to Dri Girls 1 Cup. 

• WILL JOEY (OR B) GIVE B’S BROTHER A RIDE TO THE FIELDS SO HE CAN BLESS US WITH HIS PRESENCE? I don’t know the answer to this, but I know B reads this article every week, so he better get his brother to the fields. Still not sure Joey Batts can read at all. 

 

 

 

• Why was Field 5 so rough to play on? What’s the deal with it? As stated last week, Field 5 is a brand new field that we’ve never played on before. All of the other fields have had years upon years of TSL history played upon them, which over time has led to everyone unearthing random rocks, etc and clearing them away. The more we play on F5, the better it’ll be. 

 

 

 

• What forms of TSL Media are there? I’m new to the league and there’s a LOT going on! Well, I’ve said it before but I’ll get into it again. Every week you can read The Sentinel, usually on Mondays. On Thursdays the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee puts out their article. I’m The Godfather, and I’ve been bringing you this article on Fridays for well over a decade now. There’s also the TSL podcast that comes out on Tuesday or Wednesday (usually) to listen to. There’s also “The Roost”, which some other members of the league record and it's lighthearted and funny most of the time, it's a bit of a different vibe for sure. I think they come out with an episode near the end of the week. Either way, you can check the website nearly every day for more TSL content. 

 

 

 

• If a D2 team wins all of their D1 crossover games and look to be a legit D1 title contender, can they choose to be in the D1 playoffs instead? I think Jeff Krol’s brain would explode, but how fun would it be if, say, The Malones win all of their crossover games, and challenge whoever ends up in 5th place in D1 to a game that determines who plays for what title? I think this should be an option of some sort. How interesting would that be? 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs The Malones

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - ILF vs Select

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing 

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

• 3:00 - The Herd vs Vaspian

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• All Ryled Up 37, Carlyac Arrest 24

• Syd On My Face 31, D’z Nuts 30

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 38, Steph Infection 30

 

 

 

• Using my Weather Channel App here in Des Moines, Iowa, it says that the Buffalo weather for Saturday is looking to be 78 degrees, but there may be some rain. That’s a bummer. 

 

 

 

• I know it’s really early to even think about the TSL Banquet and the awards that come with it, but good luck to the committee for trying to pick a D2 QB of the Year. Jordan Lawson vs Andy Strug vs Dave Eickhoff vs Ryan Dougherty vs Jeremy Burr is going to be one of the absolute hardest awards to ever decide. That’s a LOT of talent. 

 

 

 

• I think Select is really going to stick around at the top of the D4 standings. 

 

 

 

• Thanks again to all of you who email me each week about the games and what’s going on with your team. But there’s still a bunch of teams I don’t know about! Email me ( This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) and say hi! You don’t have to be a captain to email me, just do it anyway. I want to get as many people noticed as possible. 

 

 

 

• I’m sure that this week is going to have some weird results because it’s Labor Day weekend. 

 

 

 

• I know Garrett has needed some help finding a ref or two already this year, so if you’re willing to referee to help out (and make $30 a game), reach out to him, or Jeff Krol, ASAP. Every little bit helps. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that already “need a win” just to get some confidence going: Bullet Club, Eyes Downtown, TMA. I know it’s early in the season, but based on how things have been going, it’ll do all of these teams some good. 

 

 

 

• I’m pretty sure the only reason D3 has all 10 teams make the playoffs is because Jeff Krol is being nice to Topper and Joe K to make sure their teams make it. 

 

 

-GF OUT