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Week 3 thoughts, picks, and predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:42
Published: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:42
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2609




Stop me if I said this before, but:


ITS ON!!!!!!!!!!


One the TSL’s biggest rivalries of all time takes center stage on Field 1 at 1:00pm as Public Enemy takes on Eyes Downtown. So many interesting questions come into play for this one, as it always does. Can Eyes Downtown break Public Enemy’s winning streak? Will we see Bobby McConnell yet? If we don’t, and Chadwick leads ED to a victory, should Bobby be permanently replaced? Can you imagine we’re very close to world where Bobby McConnell and Ricky Austin are both Free Agents? Why did Public Enemy decide to get themselves a bunch of Eyes Downtown jerseys? Who’s going to wear white instead? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. Not enough answers. But at 2:18pm (I hear the fields are running behind a lot these days) we’ll know who stands tall. As of now, the betting line stands at Eyes Downtown (+3). This game is too close to call, so I’m just going to predict it now: PUBLIC ENEMY TIES EYES DOWNTOWN.


Anyway, Week two of the great adventure that is the TSL Spring 2019 season brought us some highlight reel plays, some teams having more questions than answers, and while it was apparently warmer out, it rained a bit. But, that’s a step up from the snow you guys had to deal with last week. Fun fact: it’ll be 65 degress and sunny here in Des Moines, while it seems like you’ll be playing in 51 with a smidge of wind. Plus side, doesn’t look like rain for you guys…yet. The season’s picture got a little bit clearer last week for some teams. Others need to go back to the drawing board as soon as last Sunday. All of the up and down play makes calling these games harder than ever for me.


Note: There’s no reason for us to have divisions labeled “C1”, “C2” and “R1-R4”. It’s stupid, and I like D1-D6 better, so while I thank you for your emails “showing me how wrong I’m being about division names”, I don’t care. Some of you need to focus on your play and stop worrying about what I have to say about you. Don’t @ me.


Just kidding. Keep ‘em coming at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .


Onto the games:




Marketing Mayors vs 1 Todd 2 Many (+3) – Never thought I’d see the day where I’d routinely see a Topper-led franchise be in our highest division AND not have double digit point spreads given to them. But here we are. Team Topper gave Public Enemy a run for their money, but ran out of steam near the end, dropping a 41-35 decision. Marketing Mayors had an incredibly fun 35-31 victory over Tight Ends that came down to the wire. Cory Turner’s squad should use that big momentum to get them over the feisty Topper bunch, but it’ll be close. MARKETING MAYORS BY 3


Tight Ends In Motion vs #XTC@Angry Buffalo (+7) - #XTC needs a win here to start to salvage their season. After a 33-14 drubbing by Public Enemy, this group of fan favorites find themselves 0-3 just 2 weeks in. Tight Ends is 0-2 themselves after another close loss to the Mayors 35-31. The team won’t say it, but they’ve been questioning how they’d do with a different QB for a while now, and Alex’s unfortunate injury may give them chance to see. Will this be a Drew Bledsow-Tom Brady scenario that takes TEIM to new heights? Either way, we’d like Coach Jay to get a big win over Emily Curry. He’s just nicer. BUT TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6




Title Shot vs Bullet Club (+8) – Title Shot is legit. Dubey is slinging the rock like its 1997, but more importantly, Devon is back making men turn into little boys, as is her specialty. TS brought A&A to school 44-29, not too long after a comeback victory 22-19 against Gryffindor. This puts Title Shot at 3-0 and on top of the division. Bullet Club might have some fun new jerseys, but it’s the same old issues already affecting them. Attendance is always a problem for this team, yet they still won relatively easily against Energy Buff 32-26 in a game that wasn’t as close as the score suggests. If Bullet Club has their entire team on hand, this could be the game of the day. If not? You can skip it. TITLE SHOT BY 6


Money Ball vs Energy Buff (+6) – Two new teams trying to find their way. Energy Buff has proven that their preseason odds to win the division were extremely off as they played a Bullet Club team WITHOUT most of its best players and lost 32-26. This team isn’t the second coming of Bad Apples, they’re more Cintas with a few upgrades in their women. Not a good sign. Money Ball is being accused of having too many alpha dogs it seems, but they have a lot of players who know how to play the game so we still think they can figure it out. A 30-22 loss to A&A is a step in the right direction. This game is going to come down to which team can gel sooner, as both teams need to get their first win of the season, and avoid going 0-3.   MONEY BALL BY 12


Gryffindor vs A&A (EVEN) – The TSL is already considering giving out free earplugs to everyone at the fields during this game. A matchup between Matty Ice, Joey Batts, and Jeremy Burr will prove to be a loud one. Gryffindor lost 22-19 to Title Shot last week, but as usual, that was Anthony’s fault and NOT Joey’s. A&A went 1-1 last week with a 30-22 win against Money Ball, followed by a 44-29 loss to Title Shot. Matty apparently had to scramble for a roster when he had some late cancellations so we can’t read too much into those games. These two teams are looking for a big win since there’s a good chance that this game could mean the difference between a first round bye in the playoff or not. This game is another ITS ON!!! Game if you ask me. Budding rivalry? Maybe. It’ll be close for sure. A&A BY 1




Slytherin That End Zone vs 3rd And Schlong (EVEN) – Look out for a potential Game of the Day right here! 3AS remembered who they were this week and handed Morning Wood a 26-0 beatdown. SITE, after some positive reviews from Week 1 took a bit of a hit from AWDIQ in a 42-28 loss, but rebounded to defeat the Ultimate Warriors 39-12 to salvage Week 2. This game is an early D3 season matchup between two of the legit contenders for the title. This game should absolutely come down to the wire, and if you’re at the fields between 10 and 11, watch this and let me know the details. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 2


Peachy Platoon vs Ultimate Warriors (+10) – Oh THERE’S the Peachy Platoon I was talking about in the preseason! I got a lot of emails about this “Dean” fellow making a crazy catch. Thanks for making me look like a dummy Week 1 guys. Peachy looked every bit the part of a D3 contender last week, defeating the Sticky Bandits 42-28. The Ultimate Warriors went 0-2 last week, losing 39-12 to SITE and then 35-26 to Sticky Bandits. The Warriors aren’t having the best of starts this spring, but the last time we were down on them this early in the season, they won the D4 title as the Shredders from like the 7th or 8th seed in the playoffs when Sam Lattuca made Katherine Keller her bit…well, you get the idea. You can’t ever count them out. But, for now, I’m going with PP. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13


All We Do Is Quinn vs Sticky Bandits (+12) – Here we are in Week 3, and already LOTS of bets are coming in for that AWDIQ D3 championship. Quinn is arguably the most impressive team of the season so far, as they sit at the top of the D3 standings with a 2-0-1 record that includes wins over two big title contenders, SITE and 3rd and Schlong. Quinn can argue they’ve had the toughest schedule so far as well, and Sticky in Week 3 only helps that argument. Jeff Krol’s Sticky Bandits are one of the smartest teams in the TSL, but last week they lost 42-28 to Peachy before coming back with a 36-25 win over the Ultimate Warriors. Things aren’t looking as bright as they’d like them to, and with Alex on the shelf with his groin injury, things could get worse in a hurry for the Bandits if they don’t find a QB soon. If Alex was playing, the line would be about +6. He’s VERY important to the Sticky game plan, and while losing your QB hurts just about ANY team, it just feels like its even worse here. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 15 (AWDIQ BY 3 IF ALEX PLAYS)


Frodo Swaggins vs Morning Wood (+3) – Morning Wood gave Dave Wilbern a present for his birthday last Saturday that he already has enough of: blowout losses. A 26-0 dismantling of MW by 3rd And Schlong did have Dave’s birthday start off on the right foot, but rumor has it that he more than made up for it at the bar afterwards. Frodo Swaggins was off last week, but Garrett Beesing’s squad is looking to get their first win of the season. They’re sitting at 0-1-1 right now, and while they had a 44-21 loss to Sticky Bandits, they’re also the only team to really give AWDIQ a game so far, tying them 26-26. So which Frodo will show up this week? Which Morning Wood will show up this week? This is a game where the loser is going to start hearing the whispers of “maybe they should’ve been in D4”. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4




Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Full Throttle (+8) – How about BSS? It appears the scores emailed to me last week that had them losing to Indecent Exposure 28-22 was incorrect and they won, according to toppersports.com. And then, they came out last week and just beat up on No Punt Intended 49-15. BSS is sitting at 2-0 on the season, and looking GOOD. Full Throttle didn’t take too kindly to some of the things being said about them, and took it out on Puckett All-Stars with a 36-28 victory. Lou and friends on FT are looking forward to this big Week 3 game, as its quite the measuring stick for who’s going to do what in this division. I liked seeing Full Throttle come out strong in Week 2, but I think BSS is gearing up for an eventual crash course with End Game for the D4 title. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 9


No Punt Intended vs Hung Buffalo (EVEN) -  Hung Buffalo has been a good, solid, consistent team for most of the last 100 years (or however long they’ve been playing together) and last week’s 1-1 effort (a 34-30 loss to Uncle Rico’s and a 46-34 win against Indecent Exposure) show that they’re a team to be reckoned with this season. NPI’s nice start was pretty much extinguished in the 49-15 loss to Buffalo Solar Solutions, and they find themselves staring a 1-4 record in the face by Week 3’s end if they don’t get themselves on the right page. They’re the epitome of a team with more questions than answers in the TSL and its on Kyle Conniff to get this team moving, or they’re looking at a long season. HUNG BUFFALO BY 6


Indecent Exposure vs Cobblestone (+10) – Cobblestone was smacked around by End Game last week 49-12. Granted, Darryl Carr QB Superstar was away on a business trip of some sort, but I’m not sure even HE would’ve mattered for that one. IE comes into the game with a 1-2 record in the division, after a loss to Hung Buffalo 46-34 last week. They’re right “in the mix” and should easily be a playoff team, but a game against Cobblestone is one they can’t afford to lose in what looks to be a tight divisional race all season. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 14


No Punt Intended vs Cobblestone (+7) – Same as above for IE, No Punt Intended can’t afford a loss against Cobblestone here, as an 0-2 day gives NPI a very good chance to miss the playoffs completely. Cobblestone hasn’t shown the TSL much the last few seasons, so if they’re going to make their move, this week is as good as any. But, until they show us anything, I’ll take NPI giving the points. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 9


End Game vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+4) – Here we go. A big time matchup between two of the division’s better teams. Jon Senn’s Time Travelers played a bit true to form from what I said last week, as they beat Hung Buffalo 34-30, but a rested GLBS team caught them in the next game and beat them 24-0. This will be a true early test to really see if they have a shot at the D4 title or not. End Game is currently the class of the league. They boast an embarrassment of riches in the female department with Emily “I’m playing two divisions too low” Schilling and Stephanie “I get better every week” Czaja. Now, I had THREE people email me about ANOTHER girl who “looks pretty good too”, but I don’t know her name or what she’s about. If anyone can tell me, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know. Hell, if this girl is reading this, SHE can email me. Anyway, End Game waltzed over Cobblestone 49-12, and they look to be in the driver’s seat for D4, with BSS charging hard. This game will be a good one, but the girl advantage wins out. END GAME BY 3


GLBS vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – What happened to you Puckett? Was my faith in you misplaced? A 36-28 loss to Full Throttle has a preseason favorite 0-2 and at the bottom of the division. GLBS, however, is getting noticed around the fields. A 24-0 stomping of Uncle Rico’s after a close loss to End Game will do that. This truly looks like a classic matchup of two teams traveling in opposite directions right now. GLBS BY 7


End Game vs Puckett All-Stars (+14) – What a hell of a doubleheader for Puckett this week. First they get the surging GLBS, and right after they’re getting End Game. Both teams will have good battles before they meet each other, but if both teams come out healthy, End Game should be able to take this one. We can’t account for exhaustion or injuries here, so END GAME BY 10




Matty’s Angels vs Hope and Ruin (+7) – Matty’s Angels are sitting pretty atop the division at 3-0 after a close 54-46 win against Five Star Generals and a not so close win against HomeTech 56-25. There’s not much more to say about the Angels that we haven’t said before. If Matty Ice is firing on all cylinders, there’s simply too much talent from this collection of most of WNY’s best female football players to stop them. But then again, Hope and Ruin has stopped them before. Hope and Ruin comes in at 1-1 on the season after last week’s 43-26 setback against the Cunning Stunts. Whether or not they learned anything from that game against a squad of amazing women for this week’s game against a squad of amazing women remains to be seen. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8


Come From Behind vs Over Compensators (+6) – The OC was a great TV show. The OC is a not too bad football team. Yes, they’re 0-2, but they played the Angels tough in week one, and last week they had a 23-12 loss to the Pink Pteratacos. The OC needs to work on their consistency and they’ll be fine. Come From Behind has been working on their consistency together since 1995. That came in handy for their 29-27 win against HomeTech last week. Look for that consistency to reign supreme once again. If this matchup were a little later in the season, I’d consider going the other way, but COME FROM BEHIND BY 3


Ugandan Warriors vs HomeTech (+6) – HomeTech had an 0-2 week last week, dropping a very close 29-27 contest against Come From Behind before being taken behind the wood shed by the Angels, losing 56-25. The Ugandan Warriors (not to be confused with the Ultimate Warriors, by the way) were off last week after their 33-31 loss in Week 1 to the Cunning Stunts, which was ANOTHER game falsely reported to me (They had a 31-23 UW win, for the record). Anyway, props to Blasé LaDuca, who even on his team’s off day hung out at the bar all day and made friends with everyone. Reports came flying in that he even had a HUGE plate of pasta at the outside bar. It’s good to hear Blasé assimilating (you guys can google the definition) himself to the TSL Universe more and more. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 10


Pink Pteratacos vs Five Star Generals (+3) – Okay, after having sent more scouts out to see who the hell the Generals were, it turns out its mostly (if not all) of our old friends the Cellino Sewer Rats. Somehow, it seems they got back in with our DJ friends and got the sponsorship back! Good for them! After the dismal showing in Week 1, The Generals came out swinging at Matty’s Angels, and almost pulled the upset before losing 54-46. The Pteratacos played their first two games of the season last week, and went 2-0, beating the Over Compensators 23-12 and then beating up a bit on Vandalay Industries 40-22. This should be a great game between two teams vying for the “best non-gender team in D5” title. I know that 5 Star sits last in their division, but they’re one good win away from 4th. FIVE STAR GENERALS BY 1


Matty’s Angels vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – I’m not yet sure the Pteratacos will be able to slow down the Angels for two full halves yet. Playing a “should be” tough game against 5 Star just before this might prove to be too much. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 15


Cunning Stunts vs Vandalay Industries (+12) – Team Topper Lite has some great females in Melissa and Karissa, but until they get a bit more seasoning they wouldn’t even crack the Stunts’ lineup. And that’s not a knock on the “issa’s” as much as it is a compliment to the strong roster the Stunts trot out. The Stunts are on a mission to get to Matty’s Angels, and I think poor vandalay may just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13




The Bambs vs Practice Squad (+8) – What a big Week 3 matchup for D6! Both teams are 2-0, but one of them is just playing a bit better than the other. The Bambs have seamlessly returned to the TSL and a Week 2 36-12 victory over TMA has us feeling like they’re becoming the divisional favorites. Practice Squad, a week after squeaking out a 24-22 victory comes back to beat The Bi-Polar Express 32-25. PS doesn’t think they’ve been playing their best football yet this season, and The Bambs will represent the true test on if “this year is the year” for them. THE BAMBS BY 6


pAssless Chaps vs TMA (With Rameer Green on Drums) (+7) – These two teams don’t really like each other, as some not surprising bad blood stemming from Prim’s actions (stop me if you’ve heard this before) got the Chaps in a tizzy last year. Things got even more bitter this offseason when Valerie Testa decided to spurn the Chaps to go play with TMA, knowing she’s crossing enemy lines. However, the Chaps have an inspirational leader in Coach Jay who will convince them to turn the other cheek like a modern day Jesus Christ. The Chaps didn’t fare too well in a 47-26 loss to the Jabronies last week, but they still did better than TMA did in a 36-12 loss to The Bambs. TMA has been a mess all season and it’s only been two weeks. Allegedly, they’ll have the entire 52 man roster there this week so there shouldn’t be any “we’re missing our QB” or “we’re missing two of our best girls” excuses this time around. If the time is now for TMA, they need to focus on the two things they do best: Drink Moonshine and throw the ball to Ron Webber. The entire league is a better place when this team is happy and winning. I think this is the week they find their mojo. TMA (WITH RAMEER GREEN ON DRUMS) BY 8


The Bi-Polar Express vs TMA (EVEN) – This game should be a fun one, as two of the league’s most fun teams square off in a battle that everyone should go down and watch. We already touched on the early season struggles of TMA, so lets talk about BPX. The Express finally got their season kicked off last week, but they came up short against the Practice Squad 32-25. Gordon stayed in his yellow shirt all day, but there was a “questionable” safety call by Billy Gunn that almost let the fans see the red. BPX played well in their first game together since last season, even if they were missing a few key girls. If they can keep the good plays going, there’s a chance that they’ll be able to score a mild upset, especially if TMA falls apart in the game before. THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 4


Jabronies vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – The Jabronies continued their nice start to the season with a 47-26 victory over the pAssless Chaps that gives them a 2-0 start and a division lead. They boast some nice talent, and they’ll be looking to capitalize on a late game against Gordon’s girls that will be full of people playing their 3rd game of the day. JABRONIES BY 9





1.      Seriously, if Chadwick goes out and beats Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown has to stick with him, right? Could Bobby be out of a job?

2.      If Dave Wilbern is the Captain of the “Guys who consistently ask themselves if they should play for a different team because it feels like they’re wasting their talents on their current one” All-Stars, is Ron Webber the Co-Captain?

3.      Can we PLEASE get to June 8th with both the Cunning Stunts and Matty’s Angels being undefeated before their big matchup? Imagine an entire team vs team bra bet! Might have to build a bigger Brall of Shame.

4.      Where’s the music been? I’ve heard several complaints that there hasn’t been enough beats bumping at the fields.

5.      Would you play another night of TSL football? Rumors are starting to surface that there *might* be some night football in the future. But you didn’t hear that from me.




1.      One thing I’ve been told a few times: more and more TSLers are NOT drinking and driving home this season. While this was a slight issue in the past, not only are more people sobering up or Ubering home, others in the league are making people who shouldn’t be driving stay at the bar. And to their credit, people aren’t arguing it and they stay! Way to be safe TSL!

2.      While the “Big One” is ON for this week, there’s quite a few games that are going to be pretty awesome to watch. Most notably Pink Pteratacos vs Five Star Generals, Gryffindor vs A&A, and End Game vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers.

3.      June 1st is the TSL Spring Party! Clear your calendars and make sure you’re at the fields for this one!

4.      The Breakfast Club continues to do it right with the inclusion of bets for each game. Kelly Liddle is 0-2 in her bra bets and I’ve been told she’ll keep doing it until she wins one. Emily Curry having to write Emily Schilling a poem was awesome. And something happened in the other game that included Travis’ underwear that we can ignore, but alcohol was also involved. I can’t wait to see what happens this week. Bern Them All 34 - EmC HammerTime 32 , Schilling ‘Em Softly 46 – Hot TaMolly’s 32 , Natural Born Kellers 25 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 17.

5.      I know I’ve taken a lot of shots at Alex of TEIM/Sticky over the years, but its been in good fun. Groin injuries are no joke, and I truly hope he’s going to be okay. He’s a great guy from what people tell me.

6.      My early season nominees for biggest surprise and biggest disappointment so far: Surprise: All We Do Is Quinn, Disappointment: Energy Buff.

7.      Someone tell Topper to get the wheel out and spin the thing. This league is always more fun when people can win bar tabs. Or when they have to direct traffic.

8.      I’ve been often imitated but never duplicated during my years writing this column for everyone. Even still, props to “The Build” Rameer Green and “The Sentinel” (whoever they are) for putting out some high quality stuff to read at the beginning of our week.

9.      Thanks to everyone that’s been emailing me about their teams and giving me some info on them. It’s hard not being at the fields and trying to get a feel for what’s going on without an hour phone call from Lenny every week. If you want your team or a player on them to get more pub, you really just have to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . That’s all. 

10.   I’ve been seeing some cool pictures of some of the new jerseys in the league. I joked earlier, but Public Enemy’s new threads to mimic Lenny’s red visor/shirt combo was a nice touch. Multiple teams have added some form of “LTA” as well. The Pink Pteratacos look cool. So do the new American Bullet Club jerseys. If you have some cool jerseys that you think should get the shout out, send me a picture.


Go out there this weekend and have fun. Remember, its just a game.

Week 2 Thoughts Picks and Predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 02 May 2019 20:46
Published: Thursday, 02 May 2019 20:46
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2797


The TSL is like any great movie or TV series with many characters and moving parts. Week 1 of the 2019 Spring session was no different, as the weather and the fields picked up right where we left off in the Fall, like a terrible cliffhanger. Regardless of the 60 degree days Buffalo was having, the First Saturday of the TSL brought the league 30 degrees, snow, muddy fields, and for some, misery. While you can never truly win a championship on Week 1, you sure can lose it. Poor performances can create doubt within your team, and it’s how you handle that early adversary that can be the difference between co-ed football immortality or crying to Topper about how much you need to drop a division.


Let’s get onto the games:




Public Enemy vs #XTC@AB (+10): This is PE’s first game of the season and sources around the league expect them to be dialed in more than ever. #XTC@AB might sound like a computer virus, but they’re actually a combination of some of the league’s nicest people. Unfortunately, in D1, nice people finish last more often than not. A 29-12 drubbing by Marketing Mayors left #XTCAB with a bad taste in their mouths, but this isn’t the week that they right the ship. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 14


Public Enemy vs 1 Todd 2 Many (+8): Topper did it! He walked into D1, smacked around Tight Ends in Motion, and won 7-6. At the very least, he showed the league that he can be a force in the highest division. Enter PE, the defending champions. Team Topper will have an advantage with PE having already played a game, but I’m not entirely sure it’s going to matter this time around. Topper hangs around, but PE pulls away late. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 11


Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7): MM started off the season with a double header that showed both sides of the coin for them. They lost to a Bobby-less Eyes Downtown, but stormed back to take an easy one from #XTCAB. Which Marketing Mayors will we get this weekend? Sadly, it may not matter if we get the TEIM that could only muster 6 points against Team Topper. TEIM is already showing cracks in the armor, and mistrust in their own QB, which will most likely lead to another team split next season. But hey, we’ll somehow get three new teams from it. MARKETING MAYORS BY 3


Eyes Downtown vs #XTC@Angry Buffalo (+10): #XTC@AB is rewarded by the scheduling gods this week as the second half of their double header is a date with Eyes Downtown. Even without Bobby, ED was able to pick up a 21-7 victory over Marketing Mayors. The word is that the team was much more relaxed and calm with Chadwick in there, and dare I say they were “happy”? The next quarterback controversy for the league is just starting to brew. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 9




Energy Buff vs Bullet Club (+3): We believed in Energy Buff heading into the season, but reports from the field last week suggest that maybe we were wrong. EB looked a little underwhelming in their opening loss to A&A, and are going to look to right the ship against Bullet Club. BC hasn’t played yet this season, but word is they’ll already be undermanned to start the season. If QB Jeff Easton shows up, this should be a game. ENERGY BUFF BY 6


A&A vs Money Ball (+8): Money Ball lost to Title Shot last week 29-15. They’re a new team that are still starting to learn how to play together. A&A has been a machine for most of the last ten seasons, only adding a new piece here and there. Matty Ice looks to be slinging the rock before he slings some drinks at the bar, and if he’s on early, look out Money Ball. A&A by 7


Gryffindor vs Title Shot (Even): Gryffindor had to be pleased by what they saw last week, which was a division that seems ripe for the picking. Joey Batts’ squad did whatever they could to avoid the D1 teams, and this is why: a shot at the D2 title in what they perceive is a weak division. Enter Title Shot, who was impressive in their win against Money Ball last week, and the “old guard” of the TSL look to continue the good vibes this week. TITLE SHOT BY 2


A&A vs Title Shot (+3): The second half of this double header for Title Shot gives them A&A, who will be a little more rested going into this game. It should play a factor.  A&A BY 7




3rd and Schlong vs Morning Wood (EVEN): I could’ve sworn when I got to this game that I’d be letting everyone know that 3AS stomped their way to victory last week, and Morning Wood was licking their wounds. However, due to Katherine Keller and 40 Year Plan Guy still not admitting their love for one another, karma is coming into play. 3AS got beat up by AWDIQ 39-20 in a game that had TSLers from all over wondering which was the team that came from D5. MW, to their credit stood their ground and laid claim to the D3 throne with a 29-23 win against the Ultimate Warriors. Right now, 3AS is looking a little out classed, and MW seems to have a handle on things. MORNING WOOD BY 6


All We Do Is Quinn vs Slytherin That End Zone (EVEN): Here’s what we know: SITE walked onto the field against the Peachy Platoon and demolished them, 42-7. Newman was absolutely electric, and if this is how his season is going to go, SITE is a top contender for the title. AWDIQ walked all over 3AS early, and then came away with a tie against Frodo Swaggins 26-26. Quinn looks like they belong in D3, and while SITE is looking to stomp the teams that moved up, this is going to be a close one. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 1


SITE vs Ultimate Warriors (+7): The Warriors come into town on the heels of a 29-23 loss to Morning Wood. SITE will be coming in from a battle with AWDIQ. People always forget that the Warriors are an intelligent group of football players who know what they’re doing (mostly) and as a result are always underrated. If SITE hadn’t just played a game before this one, they’d be ripe for an upset. However, they should be raring to go. As a result: SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 10


Sticky Bandits vs Peachy Platoon (+14): We had very high hopes for Peachy this season, but a 42-7 whooping from SITE has us second guessing their jump up to D3. Sticky Bandits are one of the best teams with the greatest collective minds in the league. Hot off a season opening 44-21 victory against Frodo Swaggins, Sticky has the D3 championship in their sights, and Peachy doesn’t look like they’ll be up to the task. STICKY BANDITS BY 13




End Game vs Cobblestone (+6): End Game (the old HK whatevers) came out with a 20-13 victory against GLBS, in a pretty close game. They played later in the day, so chances are the fields were a mess by then, as the reports I received this week about the games said they weren’t “that great all day”. Cobblestone had a bye week last time around, so the TSL waits with bated breath to see what athletic superstars our favorite QB Darryl Carr With The Magical Hair signed this offseason. Either way, the TSL will be having Coronas with Darryl and all will be well! END GAME BY 10


No Punt Intended vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+7): BSS played Indecent Exposure last week and lost 28-22. NPI played the same team and walked away with a 33-32 win. Granted, BSS softened them up beforehand, but NPI also beat Puckett later in the day 29-14. NPI is starting off like the team that dominated the division not too long ago. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 7


Puckett All-Stars vs Full Throttle (+3): Both teams are looking for a bounce back this week. Puckett All-Stars lost 29-14 to No Punt Intended while Full Throttle lost 33-16 to Uncle Rico’s. Its safe to say that NPI and Rico’s are two of the top contenders in the division, so the real question is which team just had a bad game last week? If history has shown us anything, it’s that Puckett is the better team and should right the ship in Week 2. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 9


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Hung Buffalo (+6): Uncle Rico’s comes into Week 2 feeling pretty good about themselves after the 33-16 victory against Full Throttle. There aren’t any lingering questions about the team as they essentially beat a team they should’ve beaten if they want to win the title. Hung Buffalo is a perennial contender who had a bye last week, so this is their first game of the year. They might just be catching Uncle Rico’s at the wrong time as they shake some rust off. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 4


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs GLBS (+6): Uncle Rico’s might be a little tired when they have to face GLBS this time around. GLBS is a very solid team that could’ve won last week, but ended up on the wrong side of things. Just as Uncle Rico’s is catching Hung Buffalo at the right time, they’re not catching GLBS at the right time. Slight upset of the day here: GLBS BY 3


Indecent Exposure vs Hung Buffalo (+10): Indecent Exposure is 1-1 right now, with a close one point lost to No Punt Intended. They’ll be competing for the division title this season, assuming every one stays in one piece. Hung Buffalo will come to play, but I don’t think it’ll be enough. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 6




Cunning Stunts vs Hope and Ruin (+3): Hope and Ruin decimated the Five Star Generals 36-0, but they’re coming to play a Stunts team that already got upset last week by the Ugandan Warriors, and then took it out on Come From Behind 42-28. The girls know better than to take Hope and Ruin lightly, so they’ll be ready for them. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6


Over Compensators vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) The Pteratacos (The old UFO) were off last week, however the Over Compensators (The Old Witter’s) played Matty’s Angels to tight 29-27 loss. We don’t know exactly how the PP’s will look this season, but the OC was very impressive. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 12


Come From Behind vs HomeTech (+10): The 3rd And Schlong leftovers were off last week, so they kick off the season against Paul LoVullo and CFB. CFB had mixed results last week, losing 42-28 to the Stunts, yet knocking off Vandalay and Topper 17-15. They were competitive for the most part, so look for them to welcome HomeTech back the hard way. COME FROM BEHIND BY 9


Vandalay Industries vs Pink Pteratacos (+7): Team Topper Jr lost last week to Come From Behind, though they looked competitive. We still don’t know what PP will look like, so all the more reason to think Topper can keep up his magic. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 3


Matty’s Angels vs Five Star Generals (+20): The highest line of the week. Matty’s won a close one against Over Compensators 29-27, where Five Star Generals lost 36-0 to Hope and Ruin. It just gets worse from there with the Angels coming to town. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 21




The Bambs vs TMA (NO LINE): The Bambs looked good in their return to football, besting the pAssless Chaps 32-29. TMA, however, was not nearly as fortunate. Multiple field reporters said the TMA players “already had that look on their faces of ‘Why are we 2-6?’ that they get when they can’t explain things, and its only Week 1.”. There’s no line on this game because TMA didn’t have Brian Ferger at QB instead of the local cadaver they found in Week 1, so clearly they’re better than they showed in a 33-7 loss to the Jabronies. Either way, someone is going to have to wear white here. THE BAMBS BY 4


pAssless Chaps vs Jabronies (EVEN): The Jabronies walked away with the 33-7 victory against TMA but we didn’t learn much about them from it. pAssless Chaps look much better than in years past with Coach Jay at QB, and even though they lost to The Bambs 32-29, and Practice Squad 24-22, you can see that they’re on their way to an entire season full of close games. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 1


Practice Squad vs The BiPolar Express (+3): Everyone’s favorite female team makes their season debut this week as Gordon and the girls take on Practice Squad, who just got by the Chaps 24-22. Renee Lantz joins the BPE this season, but sadly they won’t have her in the Yellow (and sometimes Red) as she’ll be on the other side. PS wasn’t happy with their play last week, but BPE has a little bit of rust to shake off. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7




1.      Why is Ricky Austin a FREE AGENT? There’s more than a handful of teams that need an upgrade at QB, and to have Ricky sitting on the sidelines is insane! I think Ricky will get some contract offers by the end of Week 2.

2.      Can Topper continue his D1 winnings ways? A 7-6 win against TEIM is one thing, a win against Public Enemy is something else.

3.      Who’s going to be the next big thing in the TSL? If you have someone on your squad that you think deserves some recognition, email me about them at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.!

4.      Where is the podcast Joe K? I’ve had more than my fair share of emails looking for it.

5.      Where were the garbage cans and the port-a-potties on the fields last week? If it weren’t for the awful weather, that’d be the number one complaint from what sounds like an otherwise awesome Week 1.



1.      D6 is shaping up to be the best division in the league, top to bottom. I truly believe any of the teams there can win it, and it’ll be fun to watch.

2.      Shout out to the new refs, especially Karl, who have seem to step in quite nicely. If you’re reading this and want to help Rameer out with reffing a game or two, ask him ASAP.

3.      The weather was a complete downer, since we started two weeks later to avoid that exact scenario. Luckily, things will get better and soon teams will need to find other excuses of why they lost a game.

4.      Rumor has it, and you didn’t hear it from me because I’m not one to talk, that there’s going to be a Spring Party in early June!

5.      As fun as people said the bar was for Week 1, things are going to get better fast as Paul Nieman is only one more week away from his TSL return. Get the Backstreet Boys queued up now.

6.      Big props to Kelly Liddle. She lost her bra bet in Breakfast Club to Emily Curry and she paid up her end of the bargain that day. More fun bets on the way it seems!

7.      Speaking of Breakfast Club, predictions: EmC Hammertime 34 - Schilling ‘Em Softly 22, Hot TaMolly’s 24 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 13, Bern Them All 20 – Natural Born Kellers 18.

8.      I got more than a few emails from teams that weren’t happy with last week’s odds. Some showed up Week 1 and had me rethink my previous stance, but others definitely proved me right. You know who you are.

9.      The game that I’ll have my eye on most is The Bambs vs TMA, as I want to see how TMA stacks up to the competition with Ferger in there. He’s one of the most beloved people in the league, but his team loves him being on the field with them even more.

10.   Finally, the Lenny Alba logo that you see on various field signs, hats, and Breakfast Club jerseys is awesome. Let’s keep that around as much as possible.



Good luck out there in Week 2. Remember, join Topper’s Super Kool Telegram App (https://t.me/toppersports) for all of your TSL needs, and email me This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. if you anything to say about anything. Have fun!

The Godfathers Picks and thoughts for the Finals!!

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 16 November 2018 16:06
Published: Friday, 16 November 2018 16:06
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 3964



We started with 46 then went down to 39 and now we have 20 left. 20 dreams but only 5 trophies. D1, D3, D4 and D5 could be won by anyone. I still would be SHOCKED if anyone other than Peachy Platoon or Celino Sewer Rats made their way to the D6 finals. There are so many stories developing. Can Kyle Coniff bring an inspirational edge to a team that so desperately needs it tomorrow? Will Matty Ice and Gordon go toe to toe one more time? Will Joey Batts somehow someway shock D3 and beat A&A.? How pissed is Topper right now that once again he has a great look at the trophy but once again one of his studs will not be in the lineup? Will 3AS survive HK7 and Puckett all in one day? Why isn’t anyone talking about Ultimate Warriors or Hope N Ruin? How is ACE still in the finals?


OK let’s get this over with shall we………..







So what happens: There are some stories here to keep your eyes on. TEIM will get an emotional lift when Kyle Coniff makes his glorious return this week. But crappy weather and TEIM’s kryptonite on the other sideline does not bode well for them. I’m telling you if Turner wants to go down in history as an evil genius this would be the week to dust off Shari and trot her to the fields. MM vs ED is easily the best semi-final matchup of the day. I know the world thinks ED/PE II is right around the corner but how awesome of a story would it be if we got Marketing Mayors vs TEIM in the finals?  I just don’t see how MM can go guy vs guy with ED and I just can’t see TEIM holding on for 50 minutes against a team they are 0-4 against without their best player. DO NOT think for one second that PE will come to town looking ahead to ED and DO NOT think for one second that ED will come to town looking ahead to PE. I can’t predict the future but I can tell you this, the winner of this division will most definitely earn it.



A&A 5-1




So what happens: That’s a damn good question! You’re going to call me crazy but if Andrew Davis was in this week’s line up I would have called for the shock of the century and picked Team Topper but he won’t be so I am heading elsewhere. Bullet Club stacked the deck last session but they will have to earn it this session. They can start by moving their safeties up or they will get run over on the sidelines. Team Topper will be missing Davis so they could potentially get shredded over the middle this week. I still do not know what to think this week with A&A and the Gryff. Jeremy Burr is the best player in this division by a mile but can the Gryff go toe to toe with A&A? Every time Joey plays Matty, Matty wins and Joey gets depressed. I see that happening again. Back to back MVP is now off the table for Joey but he can get right back it the conversation if he upsets A&A and takes home the D3 title. I see the Club beating Team Topper as they catch a break with no Davis and A&A should outlast the Gryff. When the dust settles we should once again get the “Matty Ice and Gordon Freedom Festival.” I think when it’s all said and done A&A beats Bullet Club like 31-27.





HK7  11-1


So what happens: Puckett All Stars look poised to hoist the D4 trophy by days end. 3AS vs HK7 should be a barn burner. So what was up with the HK7 QB last week? He got a tad weird as he was heard yelling at his players so much so one walked off the field and grabbed his keys but later returned. HK7 vs 3AS should be the “blonde battle of the century.” Oh yes Emily and Katie Keller will all be “sugar and spice and everything nice” but don’t let them fool you as they aren’t fooling me these 2 are coming for blood this week. And what of the 40YPG? Will 40ypg be “40 Year Swag Guy” as he could pull something magical (like a twist tie) out of his bag to help propel 3AS to victory. OMG how awesome would it be if 40YPG proposed to Katie Keller at half time of their game with HK7? 3AS has been getting hot down the stretch. No one is talking of about the reigning and defending champs Ultimate Warriors just like last time but this time the teams left are way better than last session. PAS should get by UW as they just are too fast. HK7 vs 3AS should be a barn burner. I like the fun stories so I am taking 3AS in the first game as they are built for the mud. The only problem is 3AS has a kryptonite and that is Puckett All Stars. So I’m guessing Puckett All Stars 38 3AS 27.





ACE 25-1

So what happens: No one took Hope N Ruin cereal now look where we are.  AWDIQ knows better than anyone that they have their best shot yet at the D5 title. Also know that, to themselves, they are hoping and praying they do not see HOPE N RUIN in the finals. Guess what? AWDIQ will be seeing HNR in the finals. I love the Witter’s story. While everyone was buying the Matty’s Angels hype and trust me it was all hype Zach Newberry sat back quietly and waited to pounce. And boy did he ever pounce as he made good on his promise to dust up the Angels. I honestly do not even know how ACE is still standing in this thing. It must be a testament to one of the greatest leaders of modern times in Ronny K. I would love to see HNR shock AWDIQ one more time as it would not only destroy AWDIQ emotionally but it would also cement HNR’s legacy as one of the most resilient teams in TSL History. By days end I think AWDIQ will make good on their attempt to finally win one from Hope N Ruin. AWDIQ beats HNR 29 to 23.





JABRONIES 1,000,000-1


So what happens: Peachy Platoon will be facing CSR for the XD6 title and there really isn’t anything anyone can do to stop that. They were the 2 best teams all session and nothing has changed and nothing will change. The only question si who will win. I say Peachy platoon will carry in this one as they just look too good. Jabronies are a great story but let’s be honest B’s Brother has a better chance of getting a job next week than the Jabronies do of winning tomorrow. TEZ will not do much better as they too will struggle to score against a team that is light years ahead of them. CSR and PP should be a decent battle. Both have size speed and can score almost at will. The weather should play intot his game but by dayus end I think PP has to many weapons. Peachy Platoon 36 CSR 30.




- So with Davis out will Drew take over once and for all? There will be a lot of pressure on him to help Team Topper carry the day but is he ready for that pressure?

-Don’t forget Friday January 11, 2019 Adam’s Mark Hotel it’s going to be banquet time. YAAAAAAAY

-I hope the refs have a better day tomorrow than last week. I have been a getting a fair amount of “unfavorable reports” about last week on a few fields.

-Can Zach Newberry “evil genius it up” one more time and shock AWDIQ? If he does it would be one of the greatest upsets in league history.

-This playoff and league is not the same without the Bambs. Parrish, Yacos et al WTF lets figure out what the heck has you guys all mad at each other and get you guys back where you belong. No one chokes in the playoffs better than the Bambs and I miss them.

-How happy is Garrett Beesing to once again be playing in the games that matter right now? His jump to The Club looks to be making a lot of sense right now.

-I really hope when everyone hits the fields tomorrow that 6 card board cut out Dave Bakers overtake Field #1 and help TEIM in their fight with Public Enemy. It will be nice to see Kyle Coniff back if the rumors are true.



5 Questions for Saturday

1. How will the weather affect the QB’s? It’s not looking good and we want the season over so unless we get a hail storm we are playing tomorrow.

2.  What must Joey Batts be thinking? With B2B MVP pretty much a thing of the past as both Cintas and Cunning Stuns lost what else does Joey Batts have left? He could beat his bitter rival Matty Ice but everyone knows Matty Ice has had Joey Batts number for a while now. Even if the Gryff wins Tony not Joey would get all the accolades. For the first time in his career Joey Batts is coming to town with no possible way of winning any of the storylines.

3. So what makes you cringe more… The thought of Public Enemy playing Eyes Downtown one more time? Or the thought of Matty Ice and Gordon playing one more time?

4. How is ACE still alive in the playoffs? No seriously can someone tell me how?

5. Can AWDIQ finally get the monkey off their backs and beat Hope n Ruin? Easier said than done…..

The Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 25 April 2019 13:04
Published: Thursday, 25 April 2019 13:04
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2502


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the snow has melted, spring has sprung, and on April 27th, in the Year of Our Lord 2019, 46 football teams (52 if you include Breakfast Club) will begin the race for social co-ed football immortality.


Everyone has been waiting with bated breath to gather together at the Rose Garden with all of their league mates to enjoy football, friends, and maybe a drink or two.


Now, this season brings us many questions: Can Uncle Topper put it all together and win D1? Will 40 year plan guy and Katie Keller finally realize they need to stop fighting the truth and fall in love? How will fatherhood affect Joey Batts? Why are so many D2 teams scared of the D1 teams? Will Peachy Platoon take D3 after jumping up from D6 last season? What the heck is “Competitive” and “Recreational” doing on our standings page?


None of those questions are nearly as the important as the elephant in the room: How will the TSL fare now that we’ve lost our Commissioner, Lenny Alba? Will we band together and keep the shenanigans to a minimum? Or will some of us feel that the watchful eye is no longer around and try to pull a fast one on the league?


Year after year, I was blessed to have a weekly phone conversation with Lenny as he gave me all of the comings and goings of the league that week. As you know, I’m quite busy while living in my log cabin deep in Des Moines, Iowa. Lenny would fill me in on some key story lines before he’d fax me over the coming week’s point spreads. This time around is going to be so different. Thank you to Topper for agreeing to keep me informed, and while he won’t fax me the lines, he’ll still email them to me, which is so much more efficient anyway.


We all miss you Lenny. Forever our Commissioner.


Excitement is in the air now as we near the begin the 8 week march to the playoffs, and we have a lot more questions than answers.


Looking over the divisions, its going to be tough to distinguish which teams are going to be taking home the championships. Quite a few teams have merged, and quite a few have dispersed talent throughout the league.


Obviously, the rule book is not perfect. While there have been some slight changes, mostly everything is staying the same for this upcoming season. While there will still be those who try to find loopholes to exploit, Topper, Rameer, and most of the league will be watching to prevent that.


Very often, it’s the opposition who just got the short end of this scenario that ends up red faced and screaming at the bar to clue the league into those loopholes anyway, as though that’s magically going to get the call overturned in a game that ended 35 minutes prior on a field nobody they’re yelling to were even at.


Everyone needs to just take a deep breath, chill out, and just remember that this is only co-ed football.


You’ve read my ramblings long enough, so let’s get into what everyone is here for anyway: the predictions. While this season is shaping up to be an interesting season, it feels more like one of the “lets see where teams should be playing at next year” years.


Our abilities to really judge games and point spreads isn’t the greatest with all of the movement, so instead we’re going to turn to the old favorite: preseason odds for winning the championship.


Understand that all of this is subjective and none of it really matters until the games are played on the field, but if you’ve got a great reason why your team should be reconsidered, feel free to email, as always, at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..



D1 (Or, Competitive 1)






1 TODD 2 MANY 20-1

#XTC 25-1


As though Public Enemy needed any more reason to be considered the top seed, they got a lot more motivation this offseason. Eyes Downtown returns to be their foil, as Bobby looks to return from surgery to capture the title. Adding Taylor Pagano doesn’t hurt. Marketing Mayors fall right into their spot behind the other two, but don’t be surprised if they find themselves on top of the mountain once again. Tight Ends In Motion added Katie Salisbury, but does that help them get over their two biggest obstacles: Staying Healthy and Alex at QB? Topper decided his personal window was closing, added a few studs, and moved his team straight up to D1. This should be exciting to watch. XTC gains some of the left overs of Angry Buffalo and they look to compete more than they have in a while this year.


D2 (Or, Competitive 2)






Energy Buff is Ben Stack’s newest addition to the TSL. The former Bad Apples look to be the early favorites in D2. Gryffindor boasts two “should be D1 stars” in Scott Miranto and Jeremy Burr, will this be their season? A&A has added the talents of Franco, but will Matty’s not so secretly falling apart shoulder lead them to glory? Bullet Club has gotten the band back together, welcoming Travis Cleavenger back into the fold. Money Ball is Tim Dove’s return to D2 as he’s put together a team mostly made up of the old Racks N Sacks. Finally, Title Shot boasts an impressive roster of 2011 All-Stars that are going to look to beat up on the competition.


D3 (Or, Recreational 1)








The time is right for Sticky Bandits as not only did all of their usual competition moved up a Division or two, but they’re getting back the soul of the team in Dave Baker. 3rd and Schlong look to continue their impressive run in the TSL, and another Division title may be in their grasp. I may look foolish putting Peachy Platoon this high, but we learned one thing last session: They can play. How they fare against some of the better defenses in the TSL will be interesting to watch all season. Morning Wood is entering “will they ever?” territory, and a blanket poll of TSLers feel that you’re more likely to see Dave Wilburn storm off the field again than you will see Morning Wood win the title. As for the rest, All We Do Is Quinn is jumping up to D3, and while they boast some great athleticism, will they be able to compare to the better competition? Frodo Swaggins is Garrett Beesing’s entry into the TSL this season, and rumor is that he’s got a QB that was a D-III college star. He’s turning into Darryl before our very eyes. The Ultimate Warriors are always a tough out, as are Slytherin That End Zone. Lots of competition here in D3, er, Rec 1.


D4 (or, Recreational 2)









D4 feels like we’re going to see one heck of a season as well. Puckett has been a consistently good team, and with some of the teams that have left the division out of their way, it seems like they have an open path to the title. Indecent Exposure should have another great season with Josh at the helm. NPI is always lurking in this division, but their ability to choke in the playoffs can’t go unmentioned. End Game is the newest version of HK (insert number here), and they boast a killer female 1-2 punch with Emily Schilling and Stephanie Czaja. GLBS has some TSL fan favorites like Glenn and Chelsie Bird, and word is they also have the very talented Rachel Parker as well. Buffalo Solar Solutions looks to ramp it up a bit more this season, and rumor has it that they’ve got a VERY good QB coming aboard. Hung Buffalo is always a team that you can NOT sleep on. They’re very intelligent, and if you sleep on them, they’ll beat you. Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers have been practicing all offseason in order to create more team chemistry. It’ll be fun to watch that play out. Full Throttle has been stuck in neutral for most of their TSL career, but perhaps this is the time Lou can get his squad on the same page and pull some upsets? Finally Cobblestone may not be what they once were, but if Darryl can actually get all of these superstars he talks about to the fields, maybe they’re ready to claim a few victories along the way.


D5 (Or, Recreational 3)








This looks to be the closest division yet. Matty’s Angels show up as the preseason favorites yet again, but you just cannot forget about Hope and Ruin, who always have something to say come playoff time. The Stunts are always looking to shatter the idea that they’re the second best gender team in the league. Vandalay returns with Uncle Topper looking ready to sling it as he goes for D1 and D5 gold. The rest of the field is very imposing in their own right. Come From Behind’s wily veteran presence keeps them in most games. The Ugandan Warriors are essentially ACE, but with an actual quarterback under 60 years old. The Pink Pteratacos are the old UFO, as Mark looks to rid his newest team of the negativity that surrounded his old one. HomeTech is always a decent team. After that, I have no idea who the Five Star Generals or the Over Compensators are. Might they be this season’s Peachy Platoon? Could be!


D6 (Or, Recreational 4)




I think every single team in this division has a chance at glory. The Bambs have been around forever and are looking to take home a title as they return to the TSL. The McKen…TMA is Brian Ferger’s squad that is looking at additions by subtractions this season, hoping the removal of some negativity can lead them to that elusive title. pAssless Chaps have always found themselves competing, but they sorely needed a QB. Enter Coach Jay, who will be entering the quarterbacking ranks this season. The Jabronies have been working hard in the offseason, practicing up a storm. Will it finally click for them on the field like it has off of it? The Bi-Polar Express really came on at the end of last season as Gordon and his girls really started to “figure it out” as a team. Here’s hoping their nice end to last season will carry over to this one. Finally, Practice Squad has been close many times here, but while this division is wide open, perhaps its finally their time?




1.      Will B’s Brother return to the fields after finally having his suspension lifted? His Facebook says he’s going to try.

2.      Will fatherhood ruin Joey Batts’ career now that he’s the third biggest human in his own household?

3.      Can Uncle Topper win D1?

4.      Where’s the podcast? Joe K let it be known that he was going to continue it, yet I’ve heard and seen nothing yet.

5.      Will we spin the Topper Wheel of Hope?




1.      This is always pretty standard, but please remember that this league, while wonderful, is for fun. Don’t take it as more than that.

2.      The Rose Garden is looking to be overflowing with our Week 1 excitement. Conduct yourselves accordingly and don’t anger the #DINNERCROWD.

3.      Breakfast Club is shaping up to be one of the best ever. All of the teams drafted pretty nicely, and while each team has holes somewhere, none of them stand out as too good or not as good as anyone else.

4.      If you haven’t signed up for Topper’s Super Kool Telegram App, do it now. It’s the quickest way to get information on your games. Like us on Facebook too.

5.      Preseason championship predictions: Public Enemy, Gryffindor, Sticky Bandits, Buffalo Solar Solutions, Cunning Stunts, The Bambs.

6.      Paul Nieman is returning to the TSL this season, this is not a drill.

7.      It’s terrible to hear that certain D2 teams cried about the idea of having to mix with the D1 teams that they threatened to not play at all. I won’t say who they are, but you’re better than that.

8.      Great move by Uncle Topper to hold off the season for two extra weeks. We’d normally be playing by now, but instead we’ve had more time to have the weather improve. Considering how the last two Saturdays went weather wise, this looks like a win, even if its ends up being 40 degrees this week.

9.      If you found the secret message in this article, good for you.

10.   I know it’s going to be weird without Lenny patrolling the sidelines or sitting at his corner in the bar. The TSL is headed towards uncharted territory. I do know one thing though, Lenny would be so mad that we’ve spent any time on him this offseason. As he’d put it: “The Show Must Go On.”


And so it will. Have fun Saturday!

The Playoffs: Thoughts, Picks, and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 08 November 2018 19:17
Published: Thursday, 08 November 2018 19:17
Written by Patrick McGovern
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November 10th in the year of our Lord 2018. Remember the day for it is all about to begin again. On this day (39) teams from all walks of life, each with a different story to tell, will invade the Angry Buffalo looking for the holy grail of social co ed football. There is no bigger trophy in this business than a TSL trophy. Don’t let the others fool you the best teams play here PERIOD!

What stories are about to unfold? Joe K did a great job stacking the deck last session but now that the TSL has taken away his “security blanket” how will the Club fare this time having to win it all the ole’ fashioned way? What must Topper be thinking this time around? This might be his best look yet at a D3 title as his team is loaded. Can Topper shake the “bad weather” QB stereotype once and for all and will his team to greatness?  Will we get our “girl power” final once and for all? If we do will the personalities of the (2) QBs get in the way of perhaps the greatest battle in recent memory? And while we are on the subject am I the only one that remembers right now the reigning and DEFENDING D5 champion is a team called Hope n Ruin?  Can anyone stop Puckett All Stars? Will 3rd and Schlong make good on their promise to run over D4 on their way to their “date with destiny” and Bullet Club in D3 next session? Are Peachy Platoon and Celino Sewer Rats destined to have at it one more time or from the ashes will Practice Squad or The McKenzie Agency crash the party? And what of the fiercest and most bitter rivalry of them all? Are Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy destined to clash on the grandest of stages for all the marbles one more time? At which point in this rivalry will each and every member of each team realize that the Yankees need the Red Sox, Ohio State needs Michigan, Auburn needs Alabama, Don Bosco Prep needs Bergen Catholic. Whether they want to admit it or not Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy need each other more than they know. In a year, maybe 2 maybe 5 both teams will look back and realize right here and right now they are embroiled in the greatest rivalry in TSL History. While we are on the subject there is a team in light blue jerseys that are former D1 champions and they sit quietly waiting in the weeds to strike, how come no is talking about them, they should be! And lastly what of our greatest TSLer of them all. Joseph Batts sits quietly alone reading this knowing the greatest truth of them all, Joey Batts is facing his mortality as he enters the playoffs as the only man in history with a shot at back to back TSL MVP. Can he make history and achieve an impossible dream?

What happens next? Where do we go from here? What new star is ready to emerge? In 2 weeks when the dust settles (5) more teams will enter the hall of greatness and social co-ed football immortality as they will be able to call themselves TSL CHAMPIONS…….



HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION+8: I really wish both of these squads were at 100% this rivalry could have ended in a great way this Saturday. These squads are both very good and both teams deserve to be in D1 and in the title chase. TEIM is loaded with skill all over the field. HATBF have made a seamless transition to the D1 game. All things being equal I think TEIM would have brought it this week but playing without both Kyle and Tiger will be too much to ask. HATBF have speed and they have a skyscraper that will run wild on the TEIM secondary this week. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 10

MARKETING MAYORS VS RACKS AND SACKS+8: I find myself watching RAS play and walking away thinking that they know what they are doing wrong but for some reason they will not fix their problems. You can say ABC aren’t working but until you fix them what are you doing? MM are a solid franchise that check all the boxes. They have one of the best players in league history, they have a solid QB, they have a savvy vet in Kevin Zak an offensive genius in Corey Turner and a solid female stable. RAS has some size and they have some speed but I have just not seen enough from them to call an upset of any kind MM should roll easily in this one.  MARKETING MAYORS BY 7

#XTC+13 VS EYES DOWNTOWN:  ED is a tough team to beat to do so you must play safe, smart mistake free football and hope and pray they make a mistake before you do. #XTC does not have the club in the bag to do this for a full 50 minutes against this team. XTC has some size and they have some speed and they have good girls but I just don’t see them going toe to toe and punch for punch with a team of this magnitude. You can not and will not beat ED by zoning them. XTC learned this lesson is last season’s playoff let’s see if they learned from their mistake or are they destined to make the same mistake again? For XTC to even have a chance they must listen to Tommy Hughes as he is the only one that can think them through this. No matter what I just think ED is just too good for XTC. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11



STICKY BANDITS +7 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: Bad weather check. Team that has been upset in the playoffs before check. With a cardboard cutout nation behind them Sticky Bandits will take the field of battle this Saturday trying to make history. Across the field from them awaits their bitter rival Topper. He is Sticky Bandit kryptonite as for some peculiar reason the Topper never loses to the Sticky Nation. The time for talk is over. Team Topper has been a D3 mainstay for some time. They have a solid team top to bottom and might not get a better look at the title than in this playoff. If they once again fail to achieve their goal it might be time to consider breaking up and splitting into 4 parts North, South, East and West. These teams match up quite well. I think the key to this game will be at the female position and with the return of Kelly Liddle I think Team Topper’s time could finally be now. It’s time for each and every member of Team Topper to just look into the mirror and ask themselves this question, “Am I good enough to call myself a champion.” We will get our answer within 2 weeks…..or less. TEAM TOPPER BY 3

GRYFFINDOR VS SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE +7: Well well well. It is almost time to see if signing Jeremy Burr was worth it. Will Burr throw the Gryff on his back and take them to the promise land? Great players come to play in the greatest of games. This QB thing has me confused. I mean Joey Batts is a league icon and I so want him to win back to back MVP but is the Gryff better or worse with Tony at QB this week? I know they are worse as Joey will take them to the promise land. I’m sorry for even insulting anyone’s intelligence by even asking that question it was dumb, my bad.  You know it, I know it and the world knows it. As for the game, SITE has taken the next step but to be honest all friggin 10 of them could try and cover Burr and he still would get wide open. SITE’s day is coming but that day is not Saturday.  GRYFFINDOR BY 4 IF TONY PLAYS QB GRYFFINDOR BY 24 IF JOEY BATTS PLAYS QB

DMX+1 VS BULLET CLUB: This one should be good. Yes DMX beat up on Bullet Club but its playoffs so don’t worry we will see Travis and Zach oh wait no we won’t. The Club will have to circle the wagons and do it the old fashioned way this go round. DMX is good but they got SmOaKeD by Tony and the Gryff last week. For BC to win they need to tighten their zone up as they are the only ones that don’t know that their safeties play waaaaay too deep. Jeff Easton is the wild card in this game. He has the potential to be so very good. His potential is limitless but he doesn’t know that yet. In time, he will take this league over and toy with teams like DMX. For some reason that day has not come yet, but it will. This game should be good between 2 teams that are both solid and looking to find a way to get to round #2.   BULLET CLUB BY 3

A&A VS MORNING WOOD +6: I do not know what to think right now. Morning Wood has the potential to be really good but I have not seen it. They have a great QB, one of the best WRs in the game let alone the league (obviously I mean Mo and not Dave, April fools I totally meant Dave) and I am hearing rumors Rachel Parker is coming back for payoffs. A&A is vet savvy and battel tested. They have won titles and they will flat out bring it this week. If you want to see one of the best games of the day look no further than this one. I expect 80 points and a good old fashioned slug fest. A&A BY 7



3RD AND SCHLONG VS CINTAS +10:  3AS are the people’s champions. They have everything you want in a team. Heck they even have their own hats now. 3AS has been white hot down the stretch as they look tough to beat. Cintas are made for the mud and have the greatest TSLer of them all but I just don’t see them taking this game. Cintas will struggle to cover Katie Keller and I just don’t see them winning a slugfest with 3AS. 3AS better start thinking right now about a plan B as each and every team they face will be looking to shut down Katie Keller which means they might want to start thinking about a backup plan. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 4

HK7 VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS +10: Cousin Steve has had an up and down season to date. The good news is his offense finished well. The bad news is HK7 is up next. HK7 is loaded for a title run. They are an offensive juggernaut. If this game turns into a track meet there is no way the Cousins keep up with HK7. HK7 is very balanced and have few holes. I like their QB as he plays a very smart very methodical game. HK7 has won their last 3 and at least to me seem to be the only team that can go toe to toe with Puckett All Stars. HK7 will not have an easy road to Puckett but at least this week I do not see much of a fight heading their way.  HK7 BY 8

BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: They tried to settle this thing last week but the football Gods were having none of it so they made them play again. These squads went toe to toe for 50 minutes yet when the dust settled the score was 30-30 and we did not get a winner. Don’t worry boys and girls no matter what, someone will win this game Saturday. BSS is hot and they are doing well especially on offense. UW are still your reigning and defending D4 champs but they have been quite inconsistent. If they play like last session’s D4 playoffs they could win again. But if they play that bombs away sh*t show game they played when they lost like 3 in a row they will be exiting early. BSS never really does any damage when the chips are down but for some weird reason that I can’t explain I just think they are due so I am taking them this go round. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 4

INDECENT EXPOSURE +8 VS PUCKETT ALL STARS: It seemed like just yesterday that IE was the team holding the trophy but since then they have regressed. They just seem to be one player away from truly doing some damage. They are balanced and have smart savvy players that have all played in the big games. PAS are rolling these days with their bombs away offense. Yes they are fast and yes they can go but the weather is crappy and that favors the balanced squad. I am not calling the upset by any means but IE matches up quite well with PAS. One break early or a bad throw or bounce could mean a game that is way closer than one would think.  PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 8




HOPE N RUIN+6 VS CUNNING STUNTS: 39-36 that’s the only score that should matter. That score should be in the back of the head of each and every Cunning Stunt player. That score should also remind you that if you don’t bring 110% every play, every minute, nay every second of every game by days end you will lose and you will need to spend the entire off season wondering how it all went wrong. The world wants nay needs Matty’s Angles vs Cunning Stunts. For that to happen CS MUST win this game. They will not win this game if they let their guard down for even 1 second. Hope N Ruin this very second is the best team in D5. Believe that Jack as it is the truth until someone comes along and shows us otherwise. The girl power story is great and yes the world is cheering but Cunning Stunts must give the world something to cheer for. On November 10th in the year of our Lord 2018 Cunning Stunts and Hope n Ruin go at it one last time. 39-36 don’t forget Cunning Stunts 39-36 it happened once it can happen again. Only you can stop it…..  or can you?  XXXXXXXXXXXXX by 1

MATTY’S ANGELS VS WITTER’S +7: Well the good news is Witter’s gave MA a game last time out. The bad news for them is Katie Salisbury did not play in that game but girl is ready to go and she will bring hell, fire and brimstone with her this week. Witter’s better get ready for war as MA looks like an offensive juggernaut. They aren’t even going to attack the #2 Witter’s girl they are coming for each and every Witter’s DB. I keep sitting here at my keyboard telling people that common sense would tell you a taller male WR in theory can catch a ball over a girl safety that is generally 6-8 inches shorter. For some reason each and every team in D5 refuses to listen to me. Maybe someday someone will listen..maybe…. someday. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8

ACE +3 VS HUNG BUFFALO: ACE has done the impossible and backed into the #5 seed of the D5 playoffs. Fun fact ACE beat HB earlier in the year. ACE has skill and they have won some big games in this league but can they do the impossible and make some noise in the D5 playoffs? Well as long as they are not facing a gender team that might be possible. HB is one of the few teams in D5 that just show up and play a solid mistake free football game. They aren’t pretty but they just go out and make plays. I expect a close game here between 2 teams that are very chippy but match up quite well.   HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

ALL WE DO IS QUINN VS UFO +13: The good news for UFO is they are in the D5 dance.  They also won 2 of their last 3 games and this is a good thing. They have played some solid football and have improved greatly from last season. Now for the bad news. AWDIQ is 7-1 and have looked like a terror all season. They also beat UFO 37-0 a few weeks ago. All things being equal I just don’t see UFO going punch for punch with this team. AWDIQ is faster and younger and that should translate into a big victory. UFO will not win this game but look to have taken the next step hopefully they continue on in their development and slowly work their way up the D5 ladder next session.  ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 8




TIGHT END ZONES +8 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: As I started to write this I said “OK TEZ can’t score and lead with that” then I saw something. TEZ has scored 191 points while TMA has scored 181 points. TEZ probably doesn’t win this game. TMA is battle tested and they have solid leadership. They probably won’t need their offense this week but if they do not start scoring some points they will exit quickly in round #2. TMA has a decent defense and they should be able to suffocate an average offense at best from TEZ. I keep seeing crappy weather and mud and muck and keep thinking it’s time to start throwing Ron Webber some footballs. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 10

THE BIPOLAR EXPPRESS+14 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: It was so nice that BPE finally had a chance to feel the joy of winning a football game. Their super bowl was last week as they shocked TEZ and the world in a big 37-35 victory. It appears to me that Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore. CSR are coming to the fields for two reasons and two reasons only. They want Peachy Platoon and the D6 title. Anything less than them taking home the title is not acceptable. CSR has size, speed and they can take their game to great levels. There is no doubt in my mind that in time BPE will rival Matty’s Angels and Cunning Stunts. Their day is coming but that day is not today or Saturday.  Before you make an omelette you must first crack a few eggs.  CELINO SEWER RATS BY 13

PRACTICE SQUAD +7 VS PEACHY PLATOON:  I was expecting this game but not in round #1. TPS is a solid football team that can win the title. If they don’t show up they will get crushed Saturday and their season will be over. PP has looked awesome to date. They are wicked fast and have made a lot of noise this season. They have everything clicking right now. TPS has a great team too though they don’t have the speed PP has. Once again for TPS to have any chance at all they must get each and every one of their players to the fields. If they are missing folks again it will be a long day at the office. But if all their players show expect an instant classic. PEACHY PLATOON BY 4

PASSLESS CHAPS VS JABRONIES: This one should be interesting between 2 teams that finally made the playoffs. PC had a scary season #1 in TSL while Jabronies lost on the last play in last sessions regular season and missed the playoffs. This game could be good. Neither team has vet savvy both are young and neither is favored over the other. Both teams need to improve on a lot of things but they are in the playoffs and that’s all that matters right now.  In games like this I play the “legends card”. The Chaps have really really really really really really tall guy but he doesn’t show up all the time. Jabronies have Caleb and Caleb is a legend so for this reason I am taking Jabronies on the last play. JABRONIES BY 1


5 Questions for Saturday

1. If anyone in the TSL universe can update me on the status of Bocc’s Audi it would be greatly appreciated. I still can NOT believe Travis threw his speaker in Bocc’s Audi without bubble wrap or any protection of any kind. I’m sorry this is (5) questions so here is my question….WHY TRAVIS? WHY?

2. When the dust settles and we look back on this season and this playoff will the memory we remember most be made by a man or will that play be made by a woman? Time will tell…

3. Why isn’t anyone talking about Marketing Mayors right now? I know PE/ED stole the headlines last week with Thug Gate but D1 better not sleep on this team. They still have one of the best players in the history of the game on their side. I for one can not wait to see what this team does when Delecki makes his triumphant return. It still is a testament to how good they are that even without Delecki they are still in the title hunt.  There is no doubt in my mind that the Mayors can take home this sessions title.

4. Will Gordon hold and not implode one more time? So far Gordon is 7 for 7. He has made good on his promise to make “football fun again.” He now enters the main stage as BPE takes on CSR this time for real. How will Gordon fare if a call does not go his way early? Will he implode or will he settle things down and be the architect of the greatest upset in TSL history? As I think about BPE vs CSR I can’t help but think of the 1980 USA Hockey Gold Medal Team. What must they have been thinking in round #1 of that playoff. The fear and pressure must have been un-bearable.

5.  What must Brian Ferger be thinking right now? TMA has a great look at the title this session as Ferger and Co are coming to town with their best team ever. Yes PP and CSR are loaded but TMA is as well. Will Ferger be able to channel some inspiration and lead an offense that needs him to the promise land? I will let you in on a secret TMA can win the D6 title but it all begins and ends on offense which means it all begins and ends at QB. Godspeed McKenzie Agency. #releasetheWebber


10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on is in D4 where BSS and Ultimate Warriors get to finally settle the score. Last time out they played to a 30-30 draw. This time there will be no tie, there will be a winner one way or another. We will play all night if we have to until we get a winner. Both squads are solid on both sides of the ball so I expect a solid game here. Let us not forget even though the name has changed UW are still your reigning and defending D4 champions.

2. There is a man among us who will be taking all week to determine the solution to the moral dilemma put in front of him. That man’s name is Joey Batts and he easily is our greatest player. Will he let his younger brother Tony play QB this week for Gryffindor? Last week Tony just threw it all over as Gryffindor cruised. What if Tony plays and he wins big and then he not Joey leads Gryff to the promise land? Will Joey win back to back MVP as it never has and possible never will be done ever again.? What if Joey lets Tony play and Tony falls flat on his face? There are too many questions and not enough answers right now. I can’t wait to see who is throwing for the Gryff this Saturday. What a dilemma indeed……

3.  If I was a member of Team Topper I would quietly, to myself, be wondering what I have to do to get a break. They have been a very solid football team for a bunch of seasons now but for some reason they keep losing in the playoffs. They have everything you could ask for. They have good guys, they have solid girls, they have tremendous leadership, they have been a part of the some of the biggest games in history. Yet they keep falling short. Will this be their time? Will they finally answer the bell and will themselves to social co ed football immortality? For those of you wondering it is supposed to be 36 degrees with a 40% chance of precipitation. I am not one to quietly suggest things or play head games or even subconsciously suggest there is a problem but to me that report would be considered “bad weather.”

4. Speaking of pressure let’s talk about Bullet Club too. This time last year The Club with a “very questionable roster” entered the field of battle and took home the D3 title. Now they sit in the #5 hole of the D3 playoffs. To make matters worse they must now face DMX a team that beat them 54-36 in week #6. With 3rd and Schlong calling them out and not getting answers and DMX a team that beat them up pretty good heading their way Bullet Club has to be feeling the pressure.  

5. I know the world wants Matty’s Angels vs Cunning Stunts as it would be one of the greatest playoff games in history but how funny would it be if Hope n Ruin just crashed the party and pulled the upset again? Let us not forget no one and I mean NO ONE gave them a chance in hell last playoff and they took home the D5 title. They absolutely could find lighting in a bottle one more time. With Joey Batts already facing a moral dilemma with his Gryffindor team this week could his heart not be in this game?

6.  I am sure there was a time the players in blue and yellow might have thought their season was over. Then about 3 weeks ago something magical happened Cardboard Cutout Dave Baker and the Dave Baker nation appeared. Since that moment Sticky Bandits are 1-1-1 and they could not be in a better place right now as they face a Team Topper that does not have much playoff luck. This time last playoff Drew was MIA there is no doubt in my mind that Drew will come to town with a chip on his shoulder as he knows better than anyone that he must deliver. BTW Ricky Recckio used to be really good when is he going to take a game over and shock the world?

7. I keep looking at that Practice Squad/Peachy Platoon game and keep thinking that a close game is brewing. PP has looked awesome but TPS has not been anywhere close to 100% most of the season. Well if they were waiting for playoffs to shock the world the time is now. PP is so fast and so very talented this test will be a tough one. The winner of this game could be your D6 title winner.   

8.  We will know by Friday but it is looking like the banquet will be January 11th at the Adams Mark Hotel. If there is one time you won’t want to miss it is always this night as this is the Super Bowl of the TSL season. There is no better time in this league than this night. Expect the unexpected.

9.  One of 2 things is going to happen Saturday either Eyes Downtown is going to beat #XTC by 40 or the Eyes Downtown QB is going to be on tilt and narrowly walk away with a late victory. Tommy Hughes is an evil genius and good at head games don’t think for one minute he won’t try to exploit the ED QB who is on tilt these days to help his team achieve victory.

10. Ladies and Gentlemen as we all prepare to take the field of battle this week let me be the first to remind each and every one of you that you are adults and as Chris Cole put it “We are playing co-ed tag football behind a bar.” This is not the super bowl and no matter if you win or lose this week or next the sun will come up tomorrow. I wish everyone the best of luck. We will make sure each and every official makes sure they give their very best to do the best job they can. Shockingly and please let me apologize but we do not have instant replay or that technology quite yet. Calls will be missed and sometimes things will not go your way. Try your best, give your best and be your best.

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