CHAMPIONSHIP THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 28 June 2024 14:54

Published: Friday, 28 June 2024 14:54

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe we’ve arrived to the final chapter of the TSL Spring 2024 season. The Race For Social Co-Ed is nearing its conclusion, and on Saturday, June 29th in the Year of Our Lord 2024 7 of the 24 surviving TSL teams will be crowned champions, and will forever live on in our hearts and minds. Core memories are going to be made for many people this weekend, but only a few of you will be the ones making good ones. 

 

Playoff Saturday lived up to the hype once again, as we had a little bit of everything. We had expected blowouts (The Malones 49, Bullet Club 8), and unexpected blowouts (Blitzkrieg 44, Sausage McMuffins 6), we had unexpected high scoring affairs (Buffalo Vice 66, Keller Whales 49), we had big comebacks (The Untouchaballs being down 20 points to Puckett before winning 42-36), we had upsets galore (lower seeded teams won 7 of the 21 games last week, with two #2 seeds going down), we even had forfeits if that’s your thing. The only thing we didn’t have was a #1 seed losing, and when you think of the first round struggles of Cunning Stunts and GUCCI, that’s a little more impressive than it sounds. 

 

Playoff Saturday taught us that once again, we know nothing. Anything can happen in the TSL when the greatest in the world of Social Co-Ed Football square off. Which is why I’ve contacted the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee to once again give me their collective insights on the games for Championship Saturday, just to see how wrong they’re going to be. On the plus side, you get two sets of predictions for what should be a crazy day in TSL history. It usually is. 

GF: Hey there TSLQBPRC. I figured I’d bother you guys once again for Championship Saturday since I know you’re not actually doing any work for the league this week over there with your “we take the last week off” nonsense. There should be a playoff QB rankings, by the way. I’ll get that started for you: 

 

1. Playoff B. 
2. Everyone else. 

 

But besides that, yet again TSL Playoff Saturday has once again proved to be one of the most exciting sports days in existence. Just look at the facts: we had 7 lower seeds pull off upsets, and from what I was told we were close to a couple of others as well. What really stood out to you guys last week? 

 

TSLQBPRC: I’m sorry, but did you not see all the charts and graphs in our last article? We NEED the last weeks off after compiling all of that. But you’re right, playoff QB ranking is easy when it’s B and then everyone else. Why can’t he summon that kind of power for the regular season??

 

So besides GUCCI winning a playoff game after a couple seasons of disappointing early exits, the biggest thing that stood out to me was the D3 race, which had three of those seven upsets you mentioned. The four teams left in D3 have point differentials on the season of -50 (practice squad), -37 (Buffalo Vice), -35 (let’s get Reccked), and +165 (the Malones). One of those things is not like the other. Is it a foregone conclusion that the Malones are winning D3?

 

GF: It’s felt that way for about a month now, hasn’t it? But when we dive into it, they WILL have to get through Playoff B, and then go against either a Vice squad that just dropped 66 points against D3’s #1 defense in the Keller Whales, or they get a Let’s Get Reccked squad that, if you recall, was the “Week 1 D3 champion” this season because their roster was “way too good”. LGR struggled all season with attendance and injuries, but they’re getting healthy and peaking at the right time. It isn’t inconceivable that LGR gives The Malones a run. Either way, it’s still fun to see that all of the #1 seeds survived, feels like a rarity these days. You mentioned GUCCI, but let’s not forget the Cunning Stunts getting out of the first round unscathed. The TSL has been waiting for the ladies to get that title, this might be their year. Can you believe that arguably the best regular season D4 team of the last 10 seasons combined has NEVER won a D4 title? Also, with the way the PowerPuff Girls have been playing, how likely do you feel it is that we’ll see TWO gender teams walk out of Championship Saturday with titles? 

 

TSLQBPRC: We could NOT believe that the Stunts have never won the D4 championship before.  In fact, we looked it up, convinced that you were wrong, but it’s confirmed: their last championship was D5 all the way back in Spring 2019.  They’ve been DOMINANT since then, but somehow haven’t sealed the deal in the playoffs.  We feel like their odds of winning this year are incredibly high… but PowerPuff Girls will have a harder road through D5.  Their biggest advantage (every TD is worth 8!) also applies to our quasi-gender team GUCCI, and when they played Travis Henry’s Kids earlier this season, they got destroyed.  Like all gender teams, they’re vulnerable to tall, high jumping male athletes like Pete Walbrandt… and also Dan The Wrestler from Stir the Sauce.  Throw in the fact that Kyle Conniff is (allegedly) out this week, and we’re not sure we love PowerPuff Girls’ chances of joining the Stunts in immortality.  But stranger things have happened.  Which division do we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion?

 

GF: No Kyle? Who’s the backup QB for the PowerPuff Girls then? Is it just Maddie? In terms of which division would we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion, I think that answer lies right where we’ve been focused: D5. GUCCI has finished #1 in the division before, they’ve always been one of the top teams, but they’ve always found a way to be thwarted in the playoffs. So GUCCI actually winning can give mild shock vibes, Stir The Sauce is a new team with a middle of the road Offense and Defense, we already mentioned the Powerpuff Girls won’t have their regular QB, and then there’s THK, where “Playoff Langley” might be the scientific explanation for why “Playoff B” exists. “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction”. I know, this has to deal with motion, but it stands to reason that for Playoff B to have been born, the opposite had to also exist…and its playoff Langley. THK may have also won the award for “most complained about team this season” in terms of division placement, but realistically, they’ve struggled since leaving D6, so even them winning could be considered a shock. The other divisions don’t have that “shocking” winner we’d expect. (We don’t expect The Malones to lose, so that would be a complete and utter UNEXPECTED win for anyone else). D1 has it’s Top 2 remaining, D2 basically had the whole division with the same record to end the season, D4 has had a pretty clear cut Top 3 for a while, and D6 has it’s top three teams from the regular season (Pit Harade, Blitzkrieg, Back That Pass Up) still alive, so we don’t expect a Just Joshing feel good storybook win, qualifies as unexpected. D5 is the only division where whenever you hear who won the title, you can say to yourself “wow, they actually did it” for any team. Did you have someone else in mind? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Cody Stumpf is the backup QB for PowerPuff Girls, and they beat Tuddies earlier this season 44-7 with him playing.  So he’s either pretty decent, or the Tud Buds are just that bad.  But yeah, D5 is the division where someone’s going to overcome some adversity to win a title that usually eludes them.  Just Joshing in D6 is probably the most “shocking” team that could win another division right now outside of D3, and we just don’t see that happening.  Speaking of D3, does Practice Squad move BACK to D2 if they go on a run and win it all again?  The League needs to invent a D2 ½ for these guys.

 

GF: Well, the hottest TSL topic is divisional realignment isn’t it? If there ends up being a 6-8 team “new” D1, I think it’s fair to say Practice Squad could very easily slide up into the “new” D2 with 2-3 other current D3 teams anyway. But all of THAT sort of fun is for the offseason, it’s just fun to fantasize about. We’ll get going on the games this week in a second, is there anything else you’d like to add, touch on, or ask?

 

TSLQBPRC: Playoffs aside, where he was a disappointing no-show… It was cool having Topper back in the League this session.  Podcasts, at the bar, trying to throw a football (and failing), playing defense because he couldn’t QB anymore (and succeeding), it was amazing to have him back again this session.  Now we just need to talk him into doing Breakfast Club next session (if there IS a Breakfast Club in the Fall, which I’m told is still TBD?).  That being said, let’s talk about the games.

 

GF: That’s what everyone is here for anyway, right?

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Eyes Uptown 49, #4 Frodo Swaggins 14

#2 Sticky Bandits 37, #3 Eyes Downtown 26

 

The Story: The Top 2 seeds in D1 move on to the championship. Eyes Uptown look to get their title back, while Sticky looks to finally capture their first D1 title. 

 

#1 Eyes Uptown (6-2) vs #2 Sticky Bandits (5-3)

 

Points For: EU 36.50 (1st), Sticky 29.50 (3rd))

Points Against: EU 24.88 (1st), Sticky 27.13 (2nd)

TSL Rank: EU 5th, Sticky 18th

Past Games: 28-26 SB, 42-37 EU

Line: Eyes Uptown (-3)

GF: A classic D1 matchup between the top two seeds in the regular season. You guys are the special guests, so you can make your prediction first. 

 

TSLQBPRC: It turned into a battle of the top two seeds in the end, but remember just a few months back, we were all predicting an inevitable Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown rematch, and then Eyes Downtown just sort of collapsed.  Maybe they’ll do a 30 for 30 documentary on that some day, but they just did not seem like the team that was so dominant last Fall.  Either way, they’re out and the Sticky Bandits are in.  Do the Bandits have a chance?  Sure.  They’re underdogs, definitely, but they’ve played two close games against Eyes Uptown already this season, splitting the series.  Official prediction?  It should be Eyes Uptown winning their fourth championship in the last five seasons.  But it’ll come down to the last drive.  EYES UPTOWN BY 3.

 

GF: The collapse of Eyes Downtown (if only for a season) wasn’t on my TSL Bingo Board, that’s for sure. Sticky deserves a ton of credit, as they consistently shore up some holes in their roster every season. It’s been said a ton, but getting Maggie to rush is still a big win. Sticky deserves a D1 title, and I know they’ll get one someday, but this doesn’t feel like the time. Eyes Uptown has slightly better talent and have been playing slightly better than anyone else because of it. Plus Joey Batts might be playing some of the best football of his career. It all adds up to one thing: EYES UPTOWN BY 6.

 

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#3 The Untouchaballs 42, #6 Puckett All-Stars 36

#5 Scared Hitless 30, #4 Can’t Touch This 28

 

The Story: The Untouchaballs continue to defend their title, Scared Hitless’ playoff magic continues, is there rust from having a bye week? Will it affect the Mavericks and Freeballers?

 

#1 Mavericks (5-2-1) vs #5 Scared Hitless (4-4)

 

Points For: Mavericks 39.63 (1st), SH 33.75 (2nd)

Points Against: Mavericks 32.13 (3rd), SH 35.25 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavericks 9th, SH 32nd

Past Games: 56-38 Mavericks

Line: Mavericks (-8)

 

GF: Scared Hitless took a close one over a very hot CTT last week, as they continue their own little streak of doing some good things in the playoffs. As long as Dylan Day is on, there isn’t a team they can’t beat. This is a matchup of the top two scoring offenses in D2, and I expect a higher scoring affair. The Mavericks have been good all season, and they’ve helped out their once “not too good” defense this season a lot. Jordan Lawson seems to have found a new groove this time around, and I’m not entirely sure the Scared Hitless defense will get a stop. All the Mavericks will need is one stop to take this one. MAVERICKS BY 9

 

TSLQBPRC: D2 was so incredibly close this session as far as the final team records, and Scared Hitless was much better than what you’d expect from a fifth place team.  Having said that, the Mavericks were the one team that got any separation in the standings this season, they had the best record, they had the best point differential, and they beat a D1 team that we’re talking about potentially winning the Finals.  Dylan is great, and we’d love to pick a different team than you just to be contrary, but the Mavericks have too many pieces for Scared Hitless to solve.  MAVERICKS BY 12.

 

#2 Freeballers (4-3-1) vs #3 The Untouchaballs (4-3-1)

 

Points For: FB 28.88 (5th), UT 28.00 (6th)

Points Against: FB 28.63 (1st), UT 31.25 (2nd)

TSL Rank: FB 20th, UT 21st

Past Games: 30-16 FB

Line: EVEN

GF: We go from the Top 2 offenses in the division, to the Top 2 defenses in D2 (and the worst two offenses, weird). The Freeballers almost feel like the forgotten team in this division. Everyone else has had some sort of storyline, but the Freeballers just kept chugging along, stealing the bye as the #2 seed. Freeballers actually own a win over UT as well. But the other wins? Two against a Puckett team figuring it out and CTT when they were on that losing streak. I’m not sure they’re the 2nd best team in D2. Give me Big Game Burr when he turns it up in the playoffs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 13

 

TSLQBPRC: Dammit.  We’re picking the same winner again.  The Untouchaballs just feel like they have a more solid foundation in our opinion.  They won the D2 title last session so there’s no “we can’t let this one slip away” pressure.  They beat Eyes Downtown a couple weeks ago in a game that Burr is (presumably) still bragging about.  They’re a dangerous team.  Freeballers, as you pointed out, have a less impressive resume, and they haven’t won a championship (D4) in three years.  Now having said that, we’re pretty sure they won that D4 championship with Sean on their team, and he will likely be back on Saturday after missing most of this season, so maybe that’ll be the difference maker for them.  But we don’t think one man will be enough.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: We’re both predicting a Mavericks vs Untouchaballs finals, and these two teams actually had an amazing regular season against each other.  Mavericks just DESTROYED them in their first meeting, and then they battled to a tie in the rematch.  Burr tends to play well when people doubt him (“we’re going to beat them by 40!”) and his spiteful willpower alone should be enough to make this a close one.  Will it be enough to beat the team they’ve failed to beat twice already?  You know what… we think it will.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 1

 

GF: This game is hard for me to pick a winner. It may even be the game of the day, which is saying something on Championship Saturday. Burr has been “hotter” in the second half of the season but that’s partially because the Mavs didn’t play as much. When it comes down to it, I look at the girls, and I just feel like the Mavericks have a slight advantage there. I’ve liked the Mavericks’ vibes all year, and I can’t stop imaging people emailing me about Mike Burke’s championship hugs. It’ll just make Burr play even better, but: MAVERICKS BY 6

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Bullet Club 21, #9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 0 (Forfeit)

#1 The Malones 49, #8 Bullet Club 8

#7 Practice Squad 40, #2 Wanderers 31

#6 Buffalo Vice 66, #3 Keller Whales 49

#5 Let’s Get Reccked 45, #4 Jabronies 30

 

The Story: The Malones continued their torrid pace, and every other top team lost. 

 

#1 The Malones (8-0) vs #7 Practice Squad (3-5)

 

Points For: The Malones 52.13 (1st), PS 28.00 (7th)

Points Against: The Malones 31.50 (4th), PS 34.25 (8th)

TSL Rank: The Malones 1st, PS 38th

Past Games: 60-30 The Malones

Line: The Malones (-17)

GF: I’ve said it all along, The Malones ruined a very good D3 season by existing in it. They’ve just been incredibly dominant, and while the legend of Practice Squad and Playoff B grew stronger this season, this is where that ride ends. No reason to sugar coat this one: THE MALONES BY 14

 

TSLQBPRC: B thrives on people doubting him… so here’s one more group of people to tell him “it’s not happening man”.  The Malones are damn near unbeatable in this division, and although B’s “dialed up to an 11” intensity will definitely make the first half interesting, we expect the Malones to run away with it in the second half.  THE MALONES BY 18

 

#5 Let’s Get Reccked (3-5) vs #6 Buffalo Vice (3-5)

 

Points For: LGR 29.75 (5th), Vice 31.88 (4th)

Points Against: LGR 34.13 (7th), Vice 36.50 (9th)

TSL Rank: LGR 34th, Vice 35th

Past Games: 36-28 LGR

Line: Let’s Get Reccked (-3)

TSLQBPRC: How did Buffalo Vice put up SIXTY SIX points last week?? We knew they were dangerous when they were clicking, but that still feels… unexpected.  That being said, the rumor mill says that Buffalo Vice will be missing Andy Clark this week, and if that’s true, then we HAVE to imagine that a veteran team like Let’s Get Reccked will find a way to get some stops on defense.  We’ll take Team Recckio for a trip to the D3 Finals.  LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

 

GF: Is this a boring article when we’re so incredibly aligned? Maybe. But that’s just how things are shaking out. LGR was all over the place in terms of health and attendance but everyone knows how good they can be at full power. Vice deserves all the credit in the world for what they did last week, but it seems like it was the cherry on top of a season they knew wasn’t going much further after the win. Not having your QB on Championship Saturday isn’t ideal, and while Vice will fight, it’s not going to be nearly enough. LETS GET RECCKED BY 14. 

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: The Malones vs LGR. The Malones won 62-29 a few weeks ago, but again that was without some of LGR’s more important players. I want so desperately to choose Let’s Get Reccked to win this game, it feels like the hottest upset of the day. One that we’ll talk about forever. But The Malones are too fast, too furious, and they’re a team of destiny. THE MALONES BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC: If anyone can beat the Malones, it might be Let’s Get Reccked.  Veteran savvy, athleticism, size, speed.  They have a chance, sure. But we can’t pick against the undefeated team that’s smoking everyone.  THE MALONES BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#9 Cobblestone 39, #8 The Roaring 20s 8

#1 Cunning Stunts 43, #9 Cobblestone 24

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 34, #7 Vaspian 16

#3 Passing While Intoxicated 55, #6 Reset Warriors 26

#4 Tater Tots 52, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: The Top 4 teams in the division all advance, it’s the Stunts’ title to lose. 

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (8-0) vs #4 Tater Tots (4-4)

 

Points For: CS 46.50 (1st), TT 34.38 (3rd)

Points Against: CS 26.63 (2nd), TT 27.63 (5th)

TSL Rank: CS 2nd, TT 25th

Past Games: 54-30 CS

Line: Cunning Stunts (-13)

TSLQBPRC: Do we dare to pick against B TWICE in the same playoff day?  It feels like we’re tempting fate here… but… Cunning Stunts is just a MUCH stronger team than Tater Tots.  Better record, better offense, better defense, better QB (not a long list of QBs who are better than B… but Joey Batts is on that list).  The score was 54-30 when they played each other in the regular season.  Let’s say this one will be closer… but not THAT much closer.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

GF: We’ve been here before. The Stunts are always better than whoever they’re playing and then before you know it, POOF, there’s a lot of sad ladies heading to the bar earlier than expected. This one feels different though, simply because they’re blowing out just about everyone. The defense is better than it’s been in the longest time. The Tots did wonders in D4, and performed much better than expected. I don’t think they should qualify as “just happy to be here”, but they did struggle with the Top 3 teams in D4. There’s a clear line between the contenders and pretenders here, and the Tots are justttt on the outside looking in. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-2) vs #3 Passing While Intoxicated (6-2)

 

Points For: ILF 32.13 (4th), PWI 36.63 (2nd)

Points Against: ILF 26.38 (1st), PWI 27.13 (3rd)

TSL Rank: ILF 4th, PWI 6th

Past Games: 48-47 ILF

Line: EVEN

GF: These two teams put on an absolute banger this year, with ILF squeaking by PWI 48-47. While both teams lost to the Stunts, ILF also lost to the Creekers, and barely snuck by Reset Warriors. Vaspian gave them trouble two weeks ago too. PWI, meanwhile, has a better offense led by the newly crowned “TD Tori”, and Alex Lee continues to shine at QB. PWI has been handling business for weeks, and haven’t really played a close one. They’re the hotter team, and they’re firing on all cylinders. ILF has the ability to really lay an egg here. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 3

 

TSLQBPRC: We couldn’t have said it any better.  It’s odd that it feels like ILF doesn’t have as much momentum going into this game when they’ve won five in a row themselves.  But they almost lost games against Vaspian and Reset Warriors, and they haven’t had a real “signature win” since their game against PWI back in Week Three.  It should be close like last time, but our prediction is it should be lower scoring than last time, with a different result.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: PWI has had success all season scoring to TD Tori and really flexing their girl muscle.  Cunning Stunts do that better.  Buddy Lee has been spectacular in moving his team down the field week after week.  Joey Batts does that even better.  If we’re going to pick an upset here, we would need some kind of plausible reason to choose PWI, and the only one we can think of is “the Stunts have lost a lot of games like this that they SHOULD have won”.  But we’re not picking PWI just because we expect the Stunts to choke.  They’ve all played in so many big games at this point, the pressure just can’t mean as much to them anymore (we think).  And the Stunts are the better team.  They’re taking home the D4 championship.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 9

 

GF: Stunts. PWI. It all comes down to this. The Stunts took a 43-20 win in the last meeting these two had. It wasn’t very close. But, that was back on May 11th. And it was at 2:00, so the chances that “Buddy Buckets” was on the field are very high. And no, that’s not a basketball name. Anyone who’s seen Alex throw later in the day knows he’s just not as good. His team knows this and will most likely lock him in a cage to keep him from the bar before this one. The Stunts are great, but the one thing you need to beat them are having “girl muscle” to flex. And PWI has been running so well because they lean on their talented ladies. They have the ability to pull the upset, and they’ve pulled off upsets like this before. PWI is a great team, let the buckets flow. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 GUCCI 32, #8 Two Tuddies 12

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids, #7 TMA 0 (Forfeit)

#6 Stir The Sauce 42, #3 Come From Behind 22

#4 Powerpuff Girls 37, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: Stir The Sauce crashes the party unexpectedly, GUCCI gets a win closer to that title, but Travis Henry’s Kids is back on track, and the Powerpuffs could shake things up.

 

#1 GUCCI (7-0-1) vs #6 Stir The Sauce (3-5)

 

Points For: GUCCI 31.00 (3rd), STS 29.75 (5th)

Points Against: GUCCI 15.50 (1st), STS 28.25 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 3rd, STS 36th

Past Games: 26-24 GUCCI

Line:  GUCCI (-10)

GF: In one corner, we have an undefeated, hyper talented, ready to get the monkey off their back team in GUCCI. In the other, we have a very spry STS that locked Come From Behind down. This all adds up to an interesting contest. GUCCI has played a ton of close games this season, including a 26-24 win over STS in Week 1. Kelly Kane knows how to win, and this team has played so long together that everyone knows their role. But, other than big wins against TMA, the Tuddies, and a shorthanded THK, have they really been that dominant? STS lost to GUCCI by 2, NSS by 1, and THK by 3. They’re better than your average 6 seed. They won a lot of games as underdogs when they were the Woodpeckers, and I think they’re going to give GUCCI a true run for their money here. STIR THE SAUCE BY 3. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Stir the Sauce went 3-5.  GUCCI went 7-0-1.  Stir the Sauce was +12 on the season.  GUCCI was +124.  We give Sauce a lot of credit for playing close games against the top teams in D5, and Come From Behind last week was a huge playoff win.  But we’re not going to over-think this one.  Stir the Sauce lost five games this session.  GUCCI has lost none.  GUCCI BY 4.

 

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-3) vs #4 Powerpuff Girls (5-3)

 

Points For: THK 31.00 (3rd), PPG 35.50 (1st)

Points Against: THK 28.25 (5th), PPG 26.63 (4th)

TSL Rank: THK 11th, PPG 16th

Past Games: 43-16 THK, 33-24 PPG

Line: Travis Henry’s Kids (-3)

TSLQBPRC: When these two teams met in the regular season, THK just mauled the PowerPuff Girls.  It was not a close game.  There are reasons to believe that PowerPuff Girls is a vastly improved team since that initial game.  They’ve really come together and had some dominant performances since then, so we don’t expect the same one-sided affair this go around.  And yet… THK still have Pete, and they haven’t lost a game with him yet all season.  If you’re looking for reasons to bet against Langley, it’s not a HORRIBLE argument to say that he fell apart without Pete this season, and Pete hasn’t played football in like a month.  But Cody Stumpf has barely played QB at ALL for the PowerPuff Girls this session, and it’s harder for a QB to come in cold than it is a wide receiver.  TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5.

 

GF: I came into today really telling myself we could have two gender team champions this session, but now I’m sitting here predicting that we’re not going to have any. The committee just spilled it out for everyone, the PPG having a backup QB really stinks (even if he doesn’t have any other games this weekend) just in terms of the continuity the Girls were having with Kyle as they started humming. But then again, Cody can cover Pete, right? While the girls would still have to worry about Aaron, there’s a path to victory there. And what if Cody doesn’t even throw, and Maddie throws to him? That might worry THK and mess up their defense. Hmm. At the end of the day though, that’s a lot of “new things” to be trying out in a big time playoff game. The Power Puff Girls will win a championship. It just won’t be this season. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: THK vs Stir The Sauce. While I used STS’ 3 point loss as a reason to help them beat GUCCI, I sort of forgot that THK only had 5 people that game. Yikes. THK is back in their villian era, and we all forgot about that after the “Peteless” month that saw them lose a few games. THK was dominant when the season started, and they’ll be dominant again this Saturday at full strength. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC:THK vs GUCCI.  The knock on both teams is that they’ve both choked in the playoffs in the past, and none of them have ever won a championship in the TSL.  But that sort of cancels out here if both teams make the Finals (which we’re saying they will) and SOMEONE has to win.  GUCCI absolutely thrilled THK a few weeks ago, but two things will be different this time around.  1) Langley will have Pete to throw to.  2) Langley will play with confidence knowing he has Pete to throw to.  This should be a MUCH better game than their last encounter, and it feels like a coin flip to us.  Our gut says GUCCI BY 1

 

D6 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Sticky Laces 25, #9 Dogg Pound 20

#1 Pit Harade 34, #8 Sticky Laces 6

#7 Just Joshing 36, #2 Balls Deep 32

#3 Back That Pass Up 56, #6 Mighty Drunks 34

#4 Blitzkrieg 44, #5 Sausage McMuffins 6

 

The Story: Just Joshing gets a huge win, their reward is being in the final 4 with the three best teams in the division, all of whom should be considering going up to D5 regardless of the outcome. 

 

#1 Pit Harade (6-2) vs #7 Just Joshing (3-5)

 

Points For: PH 27.75 (4th), JJ 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: PH 18.63 (1st), JJ 26.75 (7th)

TSL Rank: PH 7th, JJ 37th

Past Games: 15-6 PH

Line: Pit Harade (-8)

TSLQBPRC:  Just Joshing has been a great story this season.  They entered the League as almost completely new players, and they struggled.  And they learned.  And somewhere along the way, they became a team capable of winning games.  Since Week Two, they’ve only lost one game (vs Back That Pass Up) by more than 6 points.  They’re young, they’re competitive, and we think they’re going to win a championship in the TSL.  But to quote the Godfather from earlier, “it just won’t be this season”.  PIT HARADE BY 9

 

GF: Just Joshing made me look brilliant last week, as I picked them to pull off the upset. They’ve played a lot of close games, including a 15-6 loss to Pit Harade. PH has had about 4 QBs start for them this season (Joe K, Dave Walter, MVP Ray, and Other Guy) which shouldn’t be a recipe for success, but it’s worked. Tall Bearded Guy and Sam P do everything for them on their #1 ranked Defense, and they should be able to contain the JJ offense pretty well. PIT HARADE BY 7

 

#3 Back That Pass Up (5-3) vs #4 Blitzkrieg (5-3)

 

Points For: BTPU 28.25 (3rd), BK 30.50 (2nd)

Points Against: BTPU 27.25 (8th), BK 20.75 (2nd)

TSL Rank: BTPU 12th, BK 14th

Past Games: 30-26 BTPU

Line: EVEN

GF: Absolute mayhem. That’s what this game is going to be. BTPU snuck by BK 30-26 a few weeks ago in a hell of a game. D6 playing early is an advantage for BTPU (see: “Buddy Buckets” at QB) and the way that Alex D’s squad has performed all season has to make them feel confident in going home champions. Blitzkrieg had pretty much run D6 all season before a pair of late season losses (to BTPU and PH) dropped them to the 4 seed and much harder path to the title that's eluded them for what feels like 10 years. Alex is throwing well, and when all of the ladies are there, look out. BK is 2nd in offense and 2nd in defense. They’re the most complete team remaining in D6. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

 

TSLQBPRC: With respect to a possible THK vs GUCCI Finals, there is no game we would feel less confident about predicting this week than Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up.  Blitzkrieg is the better team on paper.  They were one of the “favorites” in our playoff preview last week based on their impressive point differentials, whereas Back That Pass Up was a middling contender.  But it’s tough to pick against Buddy Lee, you know?? Look: we’re “numbers” people at the end of the day, we have to follow the math, and the math says Back That Pass Up will fall just short.  BLITZKRIEG BY 2

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg.  These teams are even enough by the numbers, but how will they each be feeling coming out of their semi-finals games?  Pit Harade is playing the #7 seed, and they’re expecting to cruise to a win.  Blitzkrieg will have just survived a bloodbath against Back That Pass Up, and it will be tough for them to play at peak energy levels for two straight hours.  The veteran calmness favors Pit Harade here, so that’s our choice.  PIT HARADE BY 5

GF: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg. Arguably the two best teams from the regular season collide here. These two teams are very close to each other. They both have great QB play. They both have stud males. They both have excellent females. They both have experience on their side. At the end of the day, while PH has a 31-18 win against BK this season, it just finally feels like it’s BKs year. They have a slightly deeper roster overall and someone is going to make the play that makes all the difference. BLITZKRIEG BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Which team are you most surprised was eliminated last week?

 

TSLQBPRC: Wanderers is the easy answer.  “Playoff B” aside, I think we were all expecting a Malones vs Wanderers Finals in D3.  And it’s not nearly as shocking an upset, because Scared Hitless had almost the same record, but it does feel weird that Can’t Touch This are already done for the year given how hot they were finishing the regular season.

 

GF: Can I say Steph Infection in Breakfast Club? It feels weird that they aren’t batting for the BC title this week. Since that’s probably not what you were going for, I’ll say Come From Behind. They were nothing short of electric to end the season, and all of a sudden the power is out. Also, the Keller Whales. A Championship Saturday without the Kellers just feels weird. 

 

 

• What is your Breakfast Club Prediction? 

 

GF: I think we have two great teams remaining and both deserve to be champions. But there’s just something about Dri’s Company that works for me, so I’m going with Dri’s Company 38, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 34.

 

TSLQBPRC: It’s been years since a Bobby vs Frank Finals, so it’s pretty incredible that in 2024 we’re being treated to another.  Let’s be clear: Bobby is the better QB of the two.  But there’s something about Frank that’s just a perfect fit for the spirit of Breakfast Club.  We’ll say Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 38, Dri’s Company 31

 

 

• Which team do you most WANT to win this week, even if you think they won’t?

 

TSLPRC: Practice Squad or Tater Tots.  Either of the “B Teams”.  We just want to see B and his “don’t you feel like an idiot for not believing in us??” glare at the fields on Saturday.

 

GF: Gender teams. Cunning Stunts and the Powerpuff Girls. The league is a better place when the gender teams are winning. Slight nod to The Untouchaballs, just to set up D1 for the Fall.

 

 

• What prediction do you immediately look back at and think you got wrong?

 

GF: D5 is just wild. Even though I have a THK - STS final, I really think we could also see a GUCCI - PPG final as well. That’d be pretty awesome. 

 

TSLQBPRC: All of them except the Malones.  Look, all our picks “make sense” to us, but this is the TSL and anything can happen.  We wouldn’t be shocked to see EVERYTHING go the other way.  But if we have to choose one, we’ll say D2.  Everyone is so good in that division, there isn’t a single champion that we’d look at and say “wow, we can’t believe it was them”.

 

 

• Rank the #1 seeds in terms of most confident to least confident you are in them winning the title. 

 

GF: The Malones, Mavericks, Pit Harade, Eyes Uptown, GUCCI, Cunning Stunts.

 

TSLQBPRC: The Malones (as if it would be anyone else), Cunning Stunts, Eyes Uptown, Mavericks, Pit Harade, GUCCI.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: All of them. It’s Championship Saturday! 

 

 

 

• The most important players (QBs aside) for their teams on Saturday: TD Tori (PWI), Ricky Recckio (LGR), Light Red Hoodie Guy (Blitzkrieg), Tall Bearded Guy (Pit Harade), James T. Hearn (Back That Pass Up), George Lombardo (Mavericks), Maggie LaMantia (Sticky Bandits), Ryan “The Guy Who Isn’t Matt Helm” (The Untouchaballs), Renee Lantz (Practice Squad/Cunning Stunts), Wrestler Dan (Stir The Sauce), Thomas Fields (GUCCI), Bs Brother (Whatever Sideline He Decides To Stand On), Pistol Pete (THK), Maddie Norton (Eyes Uptown/Powerpuff Girls). Just to name a few. 

 

 

 

• Even if you’re not playing this weekend, come out and watch the games and celebrate with the rest of the league. 

 

 

 

• Can you believe there were two forfeits last week??  Fortunately I haven’t heard of any expected for this week.  Teams have made it this far, you’d think they’d want to finish what they started!

 

 

 

• It’s going to be wet, very, very wet. I don’t think the games will be postponed, so bring a towel and a change of clothes. Good luck out there. 

 

 

 

• Championship week is the most stressful week of the season.  Not just for you, but also the refs.  There is no TSL without people willing to ref our games, so PLEASE do not scream at them after a bad call.  It happens.  Move on.

 

 

 

• Three ‘most likely’ upsets: Let’s Get Reccked, Blitzkrieg, Powerpuff Girls

 

 

 

• I’ve asked many times what date the Fall Session is scheduled to start up this year, and been told that it’s still up in the air (likely August 17th or August 24th).  Start thinking about your team for next season… especially if this season is already over for you!

 

 

 

• There’s only a couple of spots left for the wine tournament, so get your squad signed up! The first 16 teams that register (and actually make their payment) will get those spots.  Don’t be the team that’s left out because you dragged your feet!

 

 

 

• I hope Breakfast Club comes back in the Fall.  I know, I’m told it’s very difficult to recruit people to wake up that early for Fall session when the weather’s a little colder. But this was such a great session with so many new faces and competitive teams.  Spring 2025 would be a long wait to do all that again.

 

And with that, we’re ready to finish the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality. Champions will be crowned, and they’ll live forever in TSL history. Are you going to be one of them? 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 14 June 2024 13:07

Published: Friday, 14 June 2024 13:07

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I don’t quite know how we got here so quickly, but I’m saddened to tell you that we’ve already made it to the last week of the TSL Spring 2024 Regular Season. It seems like just yesterday Jeff was emailing me in the middle of April to see if I’d be returning for another season of writing this article for the league and, like it always does, it flew by so quickly. 

 

When you take the fields on Saturday, June 15th, in the Year of Our Lord 2024, it’s a cause for celebration. While the TSL will be having the shenanigans in place for Lenny and Rameer Day (Observed)/Part 2, it’s also a time to reflect on the season that was. The last second victories, the crazy amount of ties, the incredible amount of fantastic plays that TSLers from all of the divisions made. 

After you toast to the season that was, you’ll be turning your head to the real season that’s about to begin. The Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is only a week away. The games will matter more than they ever have. Top seeds will be upset, others will dominate. It will be the war that has more twists and turns than a wild game of Chutes and Ladders. 

 

But that’s for next week. This week? Go out and have fun. Have some more drinks with your friends before they become your bitter enemies. Get in the dunk tank, spin the wheels, and do whatever other nonsense the TSL powers that be will be bringing your way. Get your picture taken with Topper. Do all of the things. Have yourself a good time. 

 

As for the games themselves, we find ourselves coming into Week 8 with only a handful of things certain for the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. Let’s take a look at what’s at stake for each division. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Games:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs 30 (D2), Eyes Downtown 26 (D1)

Sticky Bandits 33 (D1), Freeballers 8 (D2)

Scared Hitless 43 (D2), Frodo Swaggins 16 (D1)

Eyes Uptown 40 (D1), Mavericks 24 (D2)

 

There are days I really, really enjoy puttering around my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and last Saturday was one of them. Right around 11:00 am your time (Des Moines is in another time zone) my phone started lighting up like aliens had landed on Earth. It wasn’t aliens though, it was phone calls, emails, and texts about how The Untouchaballs and Jeremy Burr picked off Bobby McConnell on three separate occasions to beat Eyes Downtown after it was declared (allegedly) by Bobby that they’d win by 40 points. The league was electric with that news, and it carried throughout the other crossover games. Scared Hitless came out and beat up on Frodo, even though both teams had subs, it should wash out. The Mavericks were hanging tough with Eyes Uptown until the end, when a late interception gave the game to EU, but is more than likely leaving the Mavs thinking “We can beat those guys if we get another shot.”. That’s a good thing. Sticky handled the Freeballers pretty well, but it appears that the FB were short handed themselves and still hung in there as best as they could. The crossover games were wild, and we’ll be getting more this week, which will hopefully give us more of the same fun and excitement. 

 

D1

 

What We Know: Eyes Downtown is locked into the #3 seed, and Frodo Swaggins is locked into the #4 seed.

 

What’s At Stake: The #1 seed is up for grabs in D1, and you better believe it’s worth it. As we head into the week, Eyes Uptown and Sticky are both sitting at 5-2, but EU holds the tiebreaker. The difference between being the #1 seed and the #2 seed is playing a battered, not having the best year Frodo Swaggins team, or getting the Eyes Downtown squad that, while they may struggle with D2 teams, is still quite good. What stands in the way of Eyes Uptown winning and clinching the #1 seed? Jeremy Burr and The Untouchaballs. I’m currently only “kind of” sure that the TSL isn’t scripted. Sticky gets to square up against the Mavericks, so they won’t have a cake walk either. 

 

D2

 

What We Know: Puckett All-Stars, even if they win both games this week, are locked into the #5 or #6 seed, and won’t be able to get a bye. 

 

What’s At Stake: Everything else. D2 is literally maximum chaos for the final standings, and the two byes are still up for grabs. Puckett could win both of their games against CTT/FB but only end up as high as the 5 seed. But for the best chaos, let’s pretend the following happens: Puckett loses both games and ends up at 1-7. CTT wins its crossover game against Frodo (plausible) as well. The Mavericks lose to Sticky (plausible). The Untouchaballs lose to Eyes Uptown, who have the #1 seed to play for and there’s no way Joey Batts isn’t ready for them after UT’s big win last week (plausible). That makes FOUR teams - CTT, Freeballers, Mavericks, and Untouchaballs all finishing with a 4-3-1 record. That means the super crazy Topper Tie Breaking System will decide who finishes where, and could decide both byes, OR just one, because Scared Hitless is currently sitting at 4-3, and they get Eyes Downtown who has nothing to play for this week EXCEPT for not losing twice to “lesser D2 teams''. In a perfect world, of course, they also tie, and Scared Hitless ends up 4-3-1 as well. Please tie. But if not, SH could be playing for the #1 seed at 5-3, or they could end up the #5 seed at 4-4. What a world. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Games;

Frodo Swaggins vs Can’t Touch This (+6) - It wasn’t too long ago that CTT was wondering if they’d ever win again, but now they have a couple of wins and a tie AND a shot at the D2 division title. CTT continues to improve as their girls just continue to dominate and the TSL’s Most Handsome QB Because Joey Batts Got Old in Ryan Dougherty is casually chucking full field TDs. Frodo feels a bit in disarray. I heard there’s been some bad injury luck, and they’re literally limping to the finish line. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 3

 

Sticky Bandits vs Mavericks (+8) - I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: There’s something about this Mavericks team. Every report I get on them or hear about them from someone else is that they’re just in a good spot and vibing, playing for each other. You love to hear that stuff. They’re also the only Mavericks team playing well in all of sports currently. This week they get to take on a team that’s been doing exactly that for years (decades?) in Sticky. The Mavs hung in there with Eyes Uptown, but with the #1 seed in D1 on the line, Sticky isn’t going to take the Mavs lightly. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

Eyes Uptown vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - I refuse to make Jeremy Burr an underdog, even if the lines I was given this week told me to. UT’s win was maybe the story of the season so far, although beating both “Eyes” teams back to back makes him a legend. I don’t think Joey Batts wants a fruit basket sent his way, nor does he want to play ED in the first round of the playoffs. Expect even more late game heroics from him. EYES UPTOWN BY 4

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+10) - Scared Hitless, for those that don’t know, did play in D1 for a little bit there. It never went too well, although they always showed up for the playoffs. They still seem to be improving (adding Travis helps, but he won’t be playing here, since EU plays at the same time). I don’t think you can ever count SH out, but has Bobby ever gone 3-5 in the regular season? Do you think he’ll be okay going 0-2 against D2? If he does, HAS father time finally caught up to him? Is it over? It’s not. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17

 

D2 Games:

 

Freeballers vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) - Puckett will continue to try its best to get another victory under their belts, although they struggled against the Freeballers last time they played. PAS actually has the better offense, but Freeballers have a Sean. FREEBALLERS BY 3

 

Can’t Touch This vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - These two teams meet again after CTT’s late game heroics got them to a 47-46 victory a couple of weeks ago. Puckett continues to improve, and I feel that a lot of this will hinge on if CTT pulls the upset over Frodo in the game before this. If they do, the top seed is possible for them, and they’re going hard, if they don’t they might just have some fun and not be fully invested. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 2

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club 32, Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 30

The Malones 50, Jabronies 44

Bullet Club 30, Keller Whales 30 (TIE)

Buffalo Vice 44, Practice Squad 41

Let’s Get Reccked 36, Buffalo Vice 28

The Malones 38, Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 29

Bullet Club gets back in the win column after a close win over TAST, but they also let a lead slip into a costly tie with Keller Whales later on. The Malones get challenges from the Jabronies and TAST but still end up 2-0 on the day. Buffalo Vice went 1-1, getting a win over Practice Squad before losing to LGR later in the day. 

 

What We Know: BC’s tie with the Kellers puts them at 2-5-1 and locks them into the 8 seed, with TAST being locked into the 9 seed. Bullet Club vs Topper’s All-Stars & Todd in a playoff game next week. 

 

What’s At Stake: The #1 seed, and positioning, mostly. Buffalo Vice is locked in at 3-5, and will finish either 6th or 7th, depending on if Practice Squad can upset the Wanderers. The Jabronies can finish anywhere in the 2-4 seed range still, if they beat the Kellers (who can only finish as high as the 3rd seed), and Wanderers lose twice. LGR seems destined for the 4-5 matchup at this point. The big news is at the top, where if the Wanderers beat Practice Squad, their 11:00am game against The Malones is for the #1 seed and the right to play the BC-TAST winner next week. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Practice Squad (+10) - PS’ return to D3 has been full of ups and downs all year: close wins, close losses, getting blown out, etc. The only thing they haven’t done is blow someone else out, but that doesn’t matter. They have their sights set on a 4-4 record and they’ll be good with that. They almost want that 3-5 record so people can doubt them again in the D3 playoffs, which always goes well for them. They’ll keep it close, but Wanderers take it late. WANDERERS BY 6

 

The Malones vs Wanderers (+7) - Yes, it feels weird seeing the Wanderers getting 7 points ever. But, The Malones aren’t exactly a normal team. They’re 7-0 and only 3 of their wins were one score games (9 vs BC, 6 vs Jabronies, 9 vs TAST). The two styles here are completely different, but the cool new kids on the block playing one of the longest tenured teams in Social Co-Ed Football history is a hell of a storyline. The Wanderers MIGHT have to play a little bit out of their comfort zone to stick with The Malones, but they’re more than capable. This will be a great game. THE MALONES BY 2

 

Jabronies vs Keller Whales (+3) - The Jabronies are the best team nobody cares to talk about. Joe Miano is his typical, efficient self, Eric Klecker catches some deep passes, and they’re in most every game they play. Yet they aren’t quite getting the respect they maybe deserve. The Kellers’ hot start is gone, and they’re 0-3-1 in their last 4, including losing to TAST along the way. This feels like two teams going in opposite directions. JABRONIES BY 8

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Topper’s All-Stars & Todd (+7) - It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but when Topper sent Todd away last week on a conditioning assignment, TAST had played two of their best games. Getting Dubey has been great for Team Top, and now that he’s more comfortable with the team (and the team with Dubey), they’re a team to look out for. Let’s Get Reccked is a team chock full of potential that they’re not realizing, and they know it. For a 3:00 game, this should be a good one, depending on how long both teams have been at the bar anyway. TOPPERS ALL-STARS & TODD BY 3

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated 49, Vaspian 16

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 42, Cobblestone 1

Cunning Stunts 51, Creekers 15

Reset Warriors 38, The Roaring 20s 26

 

D4 wasn’t very exciting last week, as most of the games were blowouts. PWI dunked on Vaspian pretty easily, Darryl Carr QB Superstar allowed ILF to win because he wanted to do something only a handful of teams have done before: Score 1 point. And the Stunts took the Creekers behind the woodshed. The Reset Warriors and TR20 played a pretty competitive game, but even that game was a two score win for RW. 

What We Know: The Cunning Stunts could go 0-2 this week against Vaspian and Cobblestone and still have clinched the #1 seed based on having beaten the only teams that could tie them in record (ILF and PWI). TR20 and Cobblestone are clinched into the 8-9 seed game, though technically the seeds themselves aren’t set. 

 

What’s At Stake: Not much really. Unless Vaspian shocks the world and beats the Stunts and ILF to get to 4-4, there won’t be much of a shake up. The Reset Warriors - Tater Tots game could have some implications on seeding if RW pulls off the upset. That would make them both 4-4, along with the Creekers, and then Toppers Magical Tie Breaking System would get to decide who gets to play ILF/PWI, while the other two play each other. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs The Roaring 20s (+8) - TR20, don’t look at this season as a lost season. You came into D4 as fresh faced newbies (after wanting to start in D1, by the way) and you’ve been learning the game better and better every time you play. You’re the future of this league. PWI is on a 4 game win streak and coming into their own. Their ladies are getting the recognition they deserve as of late too. With a shot at the #2 seed on the line, they roll pretty easily. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 16

 

Cunning Stunts vs Cobblestone (+20) - The line is more about how good the Stunts have been as opposed to how “not good” Cobblestone has been this season. Cobblestone has had trouble getting everyone to the fields and it’s just been a rough one. It happens. The Stunts have been juggernauts, as they always seem to be. This team feels even better than the last few iterations. I think it’s time we talk about the Stunts going to D3 regardless of how the playoffs shake out. CUNNING STUNTS BY 24

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Vaspian (+10) - ILF keeps chugging along, sitting at a quiet 5-2 and in second place in the division thanks to their 1 point win over PWI back in Week 3. I don’t mean quiet as a bad thing, they’re just doing what they’re supposed to do, and there hasn’t been any surprises this time around, other than a close game against the RW. Vaspian just struggles mightily on offense, especially against the good teams in the division. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 20

 

Tater Tots vs Reset Warriors (+7) - The Reset Warriors are a pretty good story for a new team. Granted, they have the advantage over other new teams simply based on having players that have played in the league before. While their 3 wins are against the bottom teams in the standings, they’ve held their own against the Stunts (lost by 8) and ILF (lost by 1). You can’t sleep on them. The Tots got off to a crazy hot start, and fizzled out a little bit as the schedule got harder. They’re still in just about every game, but they feel a step behind the top 3. This is a game to watch for sure, assuming the Tots aren’t in the dunk tank all day and just forfeit instead. RESET WARRIORS BY 1

 

Cunning Stunts vs Vaspian (+20) - Vaspian just doesn’t have the firepower to keep up with the Stunts. CUNNING STUNTS BY 27

D5

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Powerpuff Girls 53, TMA 0

Not So Sticky 38, Travis Henry’s Kids 16

GUCCI 42, Travis Henry’s Kids 8

Powerpuff Girls 44, Two Tuddies 7

Come From Behind 52, Stir The Sauce 10

GUCCI 42, Two Tuddies 20

 

The Powerpuff Girls rocked some awesome costumes, and went 2-0 in games against TMA and the Tud Buds. Not So Sticky put a chip on their shoulder for being 16 point underdogs last week, and beat up on THK, who would then go on to lose handily to GUCCI. GUCCI put up 42 points twice to go 2-0 on the day, taking a win over the Tuddies as well. Come From Behind also just put up lots of points in an easy win over STS. 

What We Know: Just about everything. GUCCI clinched the #1 seed with a 7-0-1 record. Stir The Sauce is locked in at the #6 seed no matter what happens in their game this week. TMA and The Tuddies will finish as the 7th and 8th seeds, depending on the result of the Tuddies games against THK. 

 

What’s At Stake: Not much. Everything depends on what THK does. A THK win over the Powerpuff Girls locks them into the #2 seed and the standings are set from #1-#6. A PPG win causes a little bit of a shake up, assuming THK wins their game against the Tuddies, that makes THK, PPG, and CFB all tied at 5-3 for seeds 2-4, and NSS (because they tied twice somehow) falls to the 5th seed. If THK loses both games, They end up 5th, going on the road to play NSS in the playoffs. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs The Powerpuff Girls (+8) - As with every THK game, things depend on whether or not Pistol Pete is going to be present. THK beat PPG 43-16 in Week 1 of the season, although this isn’t the same PPG team. June has been kind to the Girls, as they’re 3-0 with a 149-40 combined scores in those games. They’re really clicking on offense, and while their defense still needs a little work, it’s coming along. If THK is without Pete, the PPG will win. If he’s there? TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 12

 

Stir The Sauce vs TMA (+10) - TMA looks to get revenge on STS for a 28-0 loss from Week 1 this season. TMA’s offense is dreadful, averaging 14.5 points per game, outscoring only the Dogg Pound in D6. And the defense isn’t much better, allowing 38.5 points per game, the most in the TSL. Worst offense and defense? Not a recipe for success. It’s been a tough season for TMA. STIR THE SAUCE BY 14

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Two Tuddies (+14) - The Tuddies have one last shot at not being the only team who didn’t get a win this season. Getting a THK team that needs to win this one vs getting a THK team that the game won’t matter for is a big difference. I still think Langley and Co are going to look at this game as a “get right” game after last week regardless of the result of the earlier game. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 6

D6: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg 27, Dogg Pound 6

Back That Pass Up 52, Just Joshing 34

Balls Deep 28, Dogg Pound 12

Mighty Drunks 40, Sticky Laces 32

Blitzkrieg takes care of business against the Dogg Pound, staying in 1st place. The DPs would go on to lose to Balls Deep, giving them their first win since Week 3. Back That Pass Up put up a lot of points against Just Joshing, who continues to improve weekly. Finally the Mighty Drunks took home a victory over Sticky Laces. 

 

What We Know: We know that D6 is insane, and that Sticky Laces and Dogg Pound will be playing in the 8-9 seed game. 

 

What’s At Stake: Firstly, The #1 seed. If Pit Harade beats Blitzkrieg, they’ll finish 6-2 and win the division. If Blitzkrieg beats Pit Harade, they’ll finish 6-2 and will only win the division if Back That Pass Up loses one of their two games against Sticky Laces and Dogg Pound. If BTPU and BK both finish 6-2, BTPU will win the division based on their 30-26 victory a couple of weeks ago. Pit Harade could fall as far as the 5th seed with a loss, if the McMuffins beat the Mighty Drunks and Balls Deep beats Just Joshing. However, Just Joshing could potentially end up the 5th seed if they beat Balls Deep and the Drunks beat the McMuffins. And if BTPU loses a game and ends up 5-3, all sorts of other scenarios open up. In D6, we have no idea what’s going to go on here. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep vs Just Joshing (EVEN) - Balls Deep hasn’t been playing very well for about a month now. Just Joshing has been playing better and better every single week, and they looked good in a loss against BTPU a week ago. JUST JOSHING BY 7

 

Back That Pass Up vs Dogg Pound (+10) - BTPU has shaken off whatever felt “off” about them earlier this season, and now the schedule couldn’t be nicer to them when they need it most. The #1 seed is there for the taking, as long as they take care of their own business first. They’ve played (and beaten) most of the top teams in close games, only getting blown out by Pit Harade in what might be an anomaly. Perhaps they’ve got a little “Florida Panthers” in them, going from “just made the playoffs” to “losing in the championship” last year, to “playing very well to get back to the championship” a year later? The parallels are there. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 20

 

Back That Pass Up vs Sticky Laces (+7) - Sticky Laces might be 1-6, but they’ve been improving every week as well. They’re in games, and they’ve entered the territory of “Don’t Sleep On This Team”. While that’s all well and good, BTPU is on a mission. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 10

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - The Mighty Drunks might be the most confusing 4-3 team ever. They have a -54 point differential and have just looked downright awful at times this season. They’re allowing 33.7 points per game, one of only two teams giving up over 30 points per game (The other, ironically, is BTPU at 31.1 points allowed per game). And their reward for Week 8? The McMuffins, the highest scoring team in D6 at 33.9 points per game. Good Offense vs Bad Defense can only mean one thing. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 17

 

Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+3) - This one is it! For all the marbles! (Maybe, since BK can win and then not get the #1 seed). Both teams have been playing pretty good football all year. Blitzkrieg has been incredibly consistent, and if not for an early season slip up against Balls Deep, they’d already have the #1 seed wrapped up. Pit Harade has been incredibly consistent (despite starting multiple QBs this year), and if not for an early season slip up against Balls Deep, they’d already have the #1 seed wrapped up. While that’s not entirely true, the point is that these two teams are incredibly similar. They have talented tall guys, both teams boast excellent girls, and they both have players really coming into their own. Game of the Day potential right here. BLITZKRIEG BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• What Fun Things Are Happening For Lenny And Rameer Day (Observed)? First off, we’ll be bringing back the Dunk Tank. There will be TWO Wheels of Chance - one wheel has every team listed on it and if you’re present at the bar during it being spun, everyone from that team will win drinks. The other is the Prize or Punishment wheel - If you get a prize, you’ll get free drinks, a bar tab paid for by the league, and other surprises. If you get a punishment….You’ll see. (it won’t be that bad, don’t worry. Don’t be scared.)

 

 

 

• Why were you talking about fruit baskets before? If you listened to the TSL podcast (which you should!), you’d have heard Jeremy Burr talking about his win over Eyes Downtown. One of the things he did for Bobby was send him an “I’m sorry for your loss” fruit basket that just so happened to get delivered while they were recording. Lenny loved that fruit basket move (although he was usually doing it to woo someone for someone else), so it deserves an extra shout out here. 

 

 

 

• Since the D1-D2 Crossover games have been mostly pretty good, what does that mean for D1? Nothing is set in stone of course, but if the D2 teams are all playing with the D1 teams and it’s not constant massacres, it bodes well for the future. It’s not a secret that a D1 with 4 teams is lame, and if the rumors are true and one of the current D1 teams fold, we won’t have a 3 team division. I’d bet that D1-D2 are going to combine in some shape or form. 

 

 

 

• If that happens though, what does it mean for the rest of the league? It’s a good thing. It’ll give the powers that be the ability to move some teams around, and get the “overpowered for their division” teams up a division, and help some teams that need to drop a division move down. It’d be a nice shakeup for sure. If there’s one thing the league wants to do, it's to make things more competitive overall, but still be fun. 

 

 

 

• Is there going to be a summer league? No, historically the TSL has always been a Spring and Fall league. And now we have the winter indoor session as well. But running a league in the summer presents its own challenges, namely July/August is when most people take summer vacations, and there’s just a lot to do every weekend it seems. There’s no need to compete with constant vacations, family parties, weddings, quinceaneras, or whatever else is going on. Plus, it gives the grass some time to grow a bit more before the Fall league starts up in late August. But don’t forget, we have the TSL Wine Tournament that you can sign up for right here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1kHH9UEaZ5bohtmGsUZlPjfzPF_dglSHgJurWR9OGeJo/edit#response=ACYDBNgujqnrNos58MWoX161zlrvFB3PUifHvr9d0sXRAcetvyklAKjA6QPvz1Za8_E2i6g 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Breakfast Club Playoffs!! This has been one of the closest BCs from top to bottom in recent memory! 

• #6 D’s Nuts 34, #3 Mistymeanors 31

• #4 Steph Infection 37, #5 Jeneva Conventions 27

 

 

 

• There’s nothing better than a TSL party, so please, stop up at the bar and join in on the stuff going on! Go spin the wheel! Make some new friends! 

 

 

 

• With the biggest article of the season coming up next week, I could always use some more information about your teams. Please take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so I can get a better idea of who’s on your team and who to watch out for!

 

 

 

• Speaking of things to watch out for - The Sun is on that list. Sunny and 75 is a perfect day for football and a perfect day to wear sunscreen and not get burned. 

 

 

 

• The three hottest teams in the TSL right now: Powerpuff Girls, The Malones, and GUCCI

 

 

 

• The three nottest teams in the TSL right now: Eyes Downtown, Practice Squad, Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• Games of the Week:

• 9:00 - Breakfast Club Playoffs!

• 10:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Can’t Touch This

• 11:00 - The Malones vs Wanderers

• 12:00 - Keller Whales vs Jabronies

• 1:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade

• 2:00 - Eyes Uptown vs The Untouchaballs

• 3:00 - Reset Warriors vs Tater Tots

 

 

 

• Will B’s Brother be making an appearance for Lenny and Rameer Day (Observed)??

 

 

 

• Thank you to the overflow of emails I received last weekend from TSLers who wanted to comment on my Lenny and Rameer article. I really appreciate those who take the time to read the article and comment on it, but that one was extra special and I’m glad it made others in the league really happy too. Some were about remembering our friends, others for teaching them a bit about the league history and who Lenny and Rameer were to the TSL. 

 

 

 

• Even with tomorrow supposedly being a “day of fun” for all of you, I know that the games that mean something will probably be a little tense. Remember to not flip out on the other teams, your own players, and the refs (even if they get something wrong). It’ll be hot outside, but try to keep your cool. 

 

Just go have fun this weekend. I wish I was there. 

-GF OUT

PLAYOFF THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 21 June 2024 17:07

Published: Friday, 21 June 2024 17:07

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2901

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: We’re here. We’ve made it. On Saturday, June 22nd in the Year of Our Lord 2024 47 of the TSL’s 51 teams will descend upon the Lenny Alba Fields at the Rose Garden (minus the Mavericks and Freeballers, who earned bye weeks, and the two Breakfast Club teams who lost last week) to compete in the most prestigious and grueling battle in history: The Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This week is the beginning of what you’ve been waiting for for the last two months. When you arrived to the fields on April 27th, after weeks of getting your team together, convincing people to play for your team (be it stealing them from one team or getting new people to play), begging Jeff Krol to put you in a lower division, countless texts about game times, if you’re a captain, you get that special kind of hell that can be collecting money from your team, deciding on team colors, if you should get jerseys, and every other ounce of effort you put into your team for getting them prepared for the season…you had hope. April 27th was a clean slate for everyone. Nobody knew what the next two months would bring. The preseason to the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality was a good one this year. It was full of drama (a battle royale and a team just disappearing to start the season, for instance), unexpected moments (Topper returning to become D3 Defensive Player of the Year), absolute domination (The Malones setting TSL scoring records), scumbaggery (anything John Langley did), multiple TSL holidays (TWO weeks of successful Lenny and Rameer days), environmental changes (the league getting pretty good at cleaning up garbage), good refereeing (Garbacz), horrible refereeing (Garbacz), and the usual handful of TSL Weddings, Engagements, and Babies being born into the TSL Universe. In short, it was fun. Mostly. 

 

And none of that matters now. All of the things that happened during the Spring 2024 season can be filed away in your memories, because your focus should be squarely on the prize in front of you. A TSL Championship, which is one of the hardest things to win on this planet. Probably other planets too. TSL Playoff Saturday is one of the 3 best weekends in sports, tied with the first two days of March Madness and the fall version of TSL Playoff Saturday. This is the weekend where perfect seasons go to die. The TSL is historically littered with playoff upsets, as #1 seeds that looked dominant going into the playoffs got bounced unexpectedly. There are always amazing games, and they won’t be the ones you expected to be the amazing ones. If you’re playing Saturday, you should show up early/stay after your game just to watch the drama unfold. There will be yelling, there will be tears, there will be raw emotions as teams watch their season slowly slip away while others begin to be overjoyed with happiness as they move on to Championship Saturday next week. The TSL is one of the greatest must see-TV binge watching shows you may not know about. There is no rhyme or reason as to why things happen the way they do here, so don’t try to find ways to figure out who is going to win. Every season is its own entity, and you never know what you’ll get. It’s the best. 

 

You worked hard for this. Your team worked on offensive plays for weeks, learning what works well. You figured out the holes in your defense, or at least tried to. You put in the work, and now it’s time to hydrate, stretch, listen to your favorite hype music, and get focused on the prize at hand: Immortality. 

 

History is going to unfold this Saturday. Which side of it are you going to be on? 

(Disclaimer: As usual, the lines are given to me by the TSL Official Odds Committee in Las Vegas, The “TSL Rank” is based off a league wide overall ranking using very specific qualifications that Topper came up with on a wine bender 15 years ago and can’t remember what they are. Of course we still just go with it. The PF/PA rankings are within the division, not the league. The “Last 3” is a team’s record in the final three weeks of the season (some played only 2 games, others played 4, the rest had 3), to show who’s coming in “hot” and who’s coming in “not”.)

 

D1:

 

The Contenders:

 

Eyes Uptown (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Sticky Bandits (5-1)

 

Frodo Swaggins:

 

Frodo Swaggins (50-1)

The Story: D1 has been a three team race for most of the season. No disrespect to Frodo, they’re just not playing at the level of the other D1 teams (or some D2 teams currently). Eyes Uptown shook off a slow start to be the best team in D1, while the ‘fun’ of Week 1 really derailed Eyes Downtown, who just haven’t seemed right all year, only going 4-4 on the season. Sticky has hung tough in every game they’ve played this year and can’t be counted out. 

#1 Eyes Uptown (6-2) vs #4 Frodo Swaggins (1-7)

 

Points For: EU 36.50 (1st), Frodo 18.25 (4th)

Points Against: EU 24.88 (1st), Frodo 33.75 (4th)

TSL Rank: EU 5th, Frodo 47th

Last 3: EU 3-0, Frodo 0-2

Past Games: 28-15 EU, 49-8 EU

Line: Eyes Uptown (-13)

 

There’s not much to say here. Despite the best efforts from Frodo, it’s been a challenging season for them, and not much has really gone right. These types of seasons happen every now and then. Meanwhile, Eyes Uptown has made it a goal to get back to the top of the mountain after last year’s playoff loss, and they’re rounding into form just as the playoffs start, which is perfect for Joey Batts’ crew. They’re hyper talented, and they still have most of the players from the teams that have gone to the D1 title game the last 4 seasons. EYES UPTOWN BY 15

 

#2 Sticky Bandits (5-3) vs #3 Eyes Downtown (4-4)

Points For: SB 29.50 (3rd), ED 32.50 (2nd)

Points Against: SB 27.13 (2nd), ED 30.13 (3rd)

TSL Rank: SB 18th, ED 27th

Last 3: SB 1-1, ED 1-2

Past Games: 35-32 SB, 35-20 ED

Line: EVEN

 

Sticky Bandits continue to work towards the D1 championship that’s eluded them, and this might be their best team yet. The addition of Maggie to rush (she’s one of the best rushers in TSL history), has been fantastic for them, and gives them a boost where they needed it. Mike Thomas is as steady as they come at QB, and they’re ready to make some noise. Eyes Downtown isn’t very “Eyes Downtown-y” this season. They just feel off, and that was only helped by the recent loss to The Untouchaballs, and barely beating Scared Hitless in the D2 Crossover games. If they won the D1 title, I wouldn’t be surprised. If they lose this game by 20, I wouldn’t be surprised. They’re the most interesting team in D1 for that reason. It’s a shame we won’t see them next week. STICKY BANDITS BY 7

D2:

 

The Contenders:

 

Mavericks (3-1)

Freeballers (4-1)

The Untouchaballs (4-1)

Can’t Touch This (4-1)

Scared Hitless (4-1)

Puckett All-Stars (6-1)

 

The Story: I know what you’re thinking but the truth is, D2 has become the closest division top to bottom that the TSL has to offer. I’ll start at the bottom with Puckett. Even with finishing 1-7, we spoke ALL year about how they’re SO close to winning. Only two of the seven losses were by more than one score. Now you mix in the historical “Playoff Puckett Magic” that has existed in this team’s DNA for years, and an upset wouldn’t be surprising. As for the rest of the division, everyone is beating up on everyone. This division is incredibly close, with the Mavericks getting the slight nod as the favorite. Everyone else has been playing VERY good football, they even went 4-4 in the D1 crossover games as a group, and you could argue that they realistically could’ve been 6-2. It feels impossible to feel confident in whoever you think is going to win the title. 

 

Bye Week: #1 Mavericks, #2 Freeballers

#3 The Untouchaballs (4-3-1) vs #6 Puckett All-Stars (1-7)

 

Points For: UT 28.00 (6th), PAS 30.38 (4th)

Points Against: UT 31.25 (2nd), PAS 35.50 (6th)

TSL Rank: UT 21st, PAS 45th

Last 3: UT 1-1, PAS 1-2

Past Games: 33-20 UT

Line: Untouchaballs (-3)

 

The defending D2 champs come in as the #3 seed as their slow start to the season didn’t help them much in tiebreaker scenarios. What goes unmentioned however is their Strength of Schedule, they got the Mavericks twice, and both Eyes teams, which almost feels unfair, going 1-2-1. Burr has proven that he can turn it on when it matters, and while we spend a lot of time thinking about what females they don’t have, we forget to point out that the ones they do have, Nina and Meg, are awesome. Add in the usual suspects on offense, and we have the makings of a damn good team. Puckett’s 1-7 record is misleading and they probably deserved to be at least 3-5, but it’s still a good start to their D2 career. The Playoff Magic might have to wait another season though, UT is looking to repeat on the way to moving up to D1. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

#4 Can’t Touch This (4-3-1) vs #5 Scared Hitless (4-4)

 

Points For: CTT 33.50 (3rd), SH 33.75 (2nd)

Points Against: CTT 32.25 (4th), SH 35.25 (5th)

TSL Rank: CTT 22nd, SH 32nd

Last 3: CTT 2-0-1, SH 1-2

Past Games: 38-36 SH

Line: CTT (-2)

 

It wasn’t too long ago that we were talking about CTT’s losing streak and people were thinking about how they’ll fit back in D3 next season. The problem with that was CTT wasn’t concerned about it. The funny thing is when you have a supermodel, rocket-armed QB who can throw the length of the field with the flick of the wrist, and also having the lowkey best group of girls in the division, the wins will come. And they have been. CTT is one of the hottest teams in the TSL right now, and they get a Scared Hitless team that’s had a good season, but it feels a little “average”. Not too good, not too bad. SH can beat anyone, and the addition of Travis has helped for sure. Scared Hitless has a reputation for turning it on in the playoffs, and I expect nothing less from them in this one, as this one has Game of the Day potential. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 2

 

D3

 

The Contenders:

 

The Malones (3-2)

 

The Non-Malones Contenders:

 

Wanderers (4-1)

Jabronies (6-1)

Keller Whales (7-1)

 

The “You Should Be Better Get It Together Longer Range Contenders” Club:

 

Let’s Get Reccked (9-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Topper’s All Stars & Todd (10-1)

 

The “I Can’t Call You Pretenders In D3 No Matter How Bad Things Might Ever Look For You” Contenders:

 

Practice Squad (10-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Buffalo Vice (15-1)

 

The Story: The Malones came in and ruined what would’ve been a very good, close, and entertaining D3 season top to bottom. They dominated the division, scored a ton of points, and made it look a bit too easy. As for the rest of the division, the Wanderers keep doing what they always do, winning and having fun. The Jabronies tend to only play in the Spring, But they always play very well, and usually have 2 losses that probably should’ve been wins. The Kellers have been riding a hot start, but haven’t been as good as of late. Let’s Get Reccked, Bullet Club, and TAST are a combined 7-16-1, and should arguably be 17-7 instead. Any one of these teams could “pop” off and surprise in the playoffs. Practice Squad sits at 3-5 with the worst PD in the division, but they also could be 6-2 as well. It’s been a season of ups and down for the Squad, but the playoffs are always where they shine. Some teams are just better in the playoffs, and they’re one of ‘em. Lastly, Buffalo Vice had a good, competitive season in D3, although their division worst defense more than likely does them in this season. 

#8 Bullet Club (2-5-1) vs #9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd (2-6)

 

Points For: BC 29.25 (6th), TAST 25.00 (9th)

Points Against: BC 33.00 (5th), TAST 30.63 (3rd)

TSL Rank: BC 39th, TAST 41st

Last 3: BC 1-1-1, TAST 2-2

Past Games: 32-30 BC

Line: Bullet Club (-2)

 

These two teams don’t feel like they should be in the 8-9 game, but here they are. They just played a close game a couple of weeks ago, and we should expect more of the same. Both teams have very good defenses, and this game feels like it’ll be decided by whoever blinks first. Dylan has settled in at QB for BC, who still boasts 5 fantastic females on their roster led by long time BCer Steph Czaja, who is joined by Ashley, Kelsey, and Lexi. And that’s not to mention they added Amanda Werth, who I’ve been told still looks like she’s “got it” when she’s filled in. George Lombardo has been great for them too. On Topper’s side, he has, well, himself. The probable Defensive Player of the Year has shown he can do more than just throw TDs, as he gave way to Dubey during the season, and the team has clicked since. Nixon and Salvati have played for 4,025 years combined, but it all ties together having Aaron and Drew as the very good tall guys. This one is going to be close, and I was ready to take TAST, but then I heard Topper isn’t going to be playing. That’s a huge advantage for BC. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

#1 The Malones (8-0) vs #8 Bullet Club (2-5-1)

 

Points For: MA 52.13 (1st), BC 29.25 (5th) 

Points Against: MA 31.50 (4th), BC 33.00 (5th)

TSL Rank: MA 1st, BC 39th

Last 3: MA 4-0, BC 1-1-1

Past Games: 48-39 BC

Line: The Malones (-14)

 

The Malones’ domination of D3 has been well documented at this point, and they’re already tabbed to go up to D2 (or D1 if everything combines at this rate) win or lose. They’ve set scoring records as Andy, Rhace, Nick, and the rest of the guys are paired with some of the best females in the league that you’ve never heard of, and they like it that way. They have attitude, they have swagger, and they’re good. They’ve won FIVE of their eight games by 22 or more points. The three teams they didn’t? They beat the Jabronies by 6 points. But then they only beat Bullet Club AND TAST by 9 points. So, somehow, the 8-9 seed matchup is going to give the Malones an opponent that played them pretty well last time they met. Look for them to fix that this time around. THE MALONES BY 17

 

#2 Wanderers (6-2) vs #7 Practice Squad (3-5)

 

Points For: WN 34.25 (2nd), PS 28.00 (7th)

Points Against: WN 33.38 (6th), PS 34.25 (8th)

TSL Rank: WN 8th, PS 38th

Last 3: WN 2-2, PS 0-2

Past Games: 32-27 WN

Line: Wanderers (-7)

 

The Wanderers continue to do Wanderers things, playing sound football that more than likely comes down to the end of the game. QB Frank has been running this offense for 1000 years, and everyone knows what they’re supposed to do. “Newcomer” Stoner Dave has been very good for them as well, fitting in seamlessly to improve an already great team. Practice Squad continues to also be what they’ve been for years, solid across the board. B continues to throw very well for them, and when he’s in the zone, that’s when PS really gets rolling. All of the guys on this team contribute, and you can’t stop them all on top of having to deal with Renee dicing you up as well. They’ll fight to the end, as always. WANDERERS BY 3

 

#3 Keller Whales (4-3-1) vs #6 Buffalo Vice (3-5)

 

Points For: KW 27.75 (8th), BV 31.88 (4th)

Points Against: KW 27.25 (1st), BV 36.50 (9th)

TSL Rank: KW 23rd, BV 35th

Last 3: KW 1-2-1, BV 1-1

Past Games: 36-24 KW

Line: Keller Whales (-7)

 

The Kellers haven’t had the best season, or the worst season. It’s just been a season for them. It started out fantastically, going to 3-0 and running the division. They hit a few speed bumps, and went 1-3-1 the rest of the way. They’re consistent on offense, as they scored 36 points in Week 1 against BV, and hit 30 points 5 more times. However, that 36 points was their highest total of the season. That #1 defense has been killing it, getting turnovers and stops. Katie Keller might be 47 years old now, but she can still play. Damien continues to grow as a QB, but his growing pains are part of the reason the offense is ranked 8th. The cure for that is the Buffalo Vice defense, worst in D3 by an average of 2.25 points per game. Vice wins games by out scoring you, as you score on them (39-38 W over Jabronies, 44-41 W over Practice Squad, 34-25 W vs TAST, but that was with Topper at QB, which was yucky). Andy can throw with the best of them, and Caitlyn Mason is All-World as always. Shoutout to Amy too, who always seems to get forgotten a bit. If Vice can solve the Keller’s defense, an upset isn’t out of the question. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

 

#4 Jabronies (4-4) vs #5 Let’s Get Reccked (3-5)

 

Points For: Jabronies 32.88 (3rd), LGR 29.75 (5th)

Points Against: Jabronies 30.25 (2nd), LGR 34.13 (7th)

TSL Rank: Jabronies 31st, LGR 34th

Last 3: Jabronies 2-2, LGR 1-2

Past Games: 28-22 Jabronies

Line: Jabronies (-6)

 

Well, if the TSL is scripted like the NFL, Jeff Krol would’ve written it this way, getting these two teams to play each other. Both sides of the ball are littered with former Tight Ends In Motion players, which makes this game a bit more fun. The Jabronies are arguably the most complete team in the division behind The Malones, as Joe Miano has been nothing but great this season, and it’s a shame he doesn’t seem to get the recognition he really deserves. Eric Klecker might have “more grays than good plays nowadays”, but that is misleading because he still makes a ton of good plays, and might lead the division in TD catches. Ricky Recckio’s team had everyone worried about the roster in Week 1, but they’ve struggled this season mostly due to attendance issues, and they’re a little banged up. Allegedly they’re getting healthy as the playoffs approach (Garrett, for example), which can only be considered a good thing. This should be a good one. LETS GET RECCKED BY 6

 

D4

 

The Contenders:

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (7-1)

Tater Tots (9-1)

 

The “Kinda There But Not Really”s:

 

Creekers (12-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Reset Warriors (14-1)

Vaspian (20-1)

Cobblestone (35-1)

The Roaring 20s (40-1)

The Story: The Cunning Stunts dominated the regular season, scoring insane amounts of points while also killing it on defense to earn the top seed in the division. Meanwhile, ILF, PWI, and the Tots continued to battle it out for “best team that plays more than one male” in the division, as they try to figure out how they’ll win this championship. The Creekers have had an up and down season themselves, and while they wouldn’t be a surprise to end up playing in the championship game, it feels like next year is their year in D4. The Reset Warriors had a very good first season, while Vaspian was all over the place as they reset the roster a little bit this spring. The Roaring 20’s have been impressive for a first year team, but have work to do on defense, whereas Cobblestone just has work to do on getting enough people to the games.

 

#8 The Roaring 20s (1-7) vs #9 Cobblestone (1-7)

 

Points For: TR20 24.25 (7th), Cobblestone 17.50 (9th)

Points Against: TR20 38.13 (9th), Cobblestone 36.13 (7th)

TSL Rank: TR20 43rd, Cobblestone 48th

Last 3: TR20 0-3, Cobblestone 1-3

Past Games: 32-20 TR20

Line: EVEN

 

The Roaring 20s have been a steadily improving new squad, and they should be excited about their football future. The hardest thing about being a new team is figuring out what offensive plays work consistently for you, and of course, defense. It’s hard to defend against teams that have been playing a lot longer than you, but TR20 did a great job learning on the fly. Cobblestone has been a mess all season. Darryl Carr QB Superstar has done all he can do with putting the team on his back, but he can only do so much when they’re playing with 4-5 players instead of 6. Things happen in life, and you can’t control that so much. Even Darryl himself will tell you he hasn’t played up to the level he knows he’s capable. It’s Darryl so you know it’s in there and I’m sure he’ll have a full team for the playoffs. The last thing TR20 is going to want is Darryl Carr QB Superstar mysteriously getting on fire in a playoff game. COBBLESTONE BY 10

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (8-0) vs #9 Cobblestone (1-7)

 

Points For: CS 46.50 (1st), Cobblestone 17.50 (9th)

Points Against: CS 26.63 (2nd), Cobblestone 36.13 (7th)

TSL Rank: CS 2nd, Cobblestone 48th

Last 3: CS 4-0, Cobblestone 1-3

Past Games: 52-32 Cunning Stunts

Line: Cunning Stunts (-21)

 

A 21 point spread in a playoff game seems insane, but the Stunts have truly brought their game to a new level this season. It’s not so much the offense, in fact, the Stunts have averaged more than the 46.5 points per game they scored this season more than a few times in previous years, but it’s the defense. The knock on the Stunts was always that you could score on them, just that you had to get the 1 and go for the female scores. If you failed, you were in trouble. This year? Everyone is playing lockdown defense for the girls, and what’s ailed them in the past isn’t there. I know that the first round of the playoffs has been scary for the Stunts in the past, but not this time around. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

 

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-2) vs #7 Vaspian (2-6)

 

Points For: ILF 32.13 (4th), Vaspian 23.63 (8th)

Points Against: ILF 26.38 (1st), Vaspian 36.63 (8th)

TSL Rank: ILF 4th, Vaspian 42nd

Last 3: ILF 3-0, Vaspian 1-3

Past Games: 30-22 ILF

Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-10)

 

ILF has had another great year as Andrew Kicak’s squad has found themselves ranked 4th overall in the entire league. They do it by playing excellent defense, as they’ve shut down just about everybody, only allowing 47 points twice, to PWI (a 48-47 W) and Creekers (a 47-31 L). Every other game has been 34 points allowed or less. QB Ethan continues to grow into his role, and as a result ILF is scoring a bit better, and looks good on offense. They get to face off against a Vaspian team they just beat 30-22 last week. Vaspian has made some changes to the roster, and some attendance issues hurt the team during the season. Although they’ve been better as of late, as they hung with ILF and THEN hung with the Stunts, only losing 45-40. Vaspian’s offense is starting to bloom, but they’re still 8th in the division. The problem for Vaspian is their once heralded defense is long gone. They’re allowing nearly 37 points a game, which feels like 20 more points than we’re used to seeing. Those defensive woes will be what does them in. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 13

 

#3 Passing While Intoxicated (6-2) vs #6 Reset Warriors (4-4)

 

Points For: PWI 36.63 (2nd), RW 30.13 (6th)

Points Against: PWI 27.13 (3rd), RW 27.50 (4th)

TSL Rank: PWI 6th, RW 29th

Last 3: PWI 2-0, RW 2-1

Past Games: 32-6 PWI

Line: Passing While Intoxicated (-10)

 

PWI has been cruising along this season, never quite getting close to losing games that maybe they shouldn’t be losing. QB Alex Lee continues to be an underrated player in the league, and he uses his weapons perfectly. The evolution of the PWI females has been the bigger story for the team, as it seems all of them have improved, which is exactly what they need if they want to take down the Stunts. The Reset Warriors’ first season has been a doozy, with their QB getting injured midseason, so Shirtless Chris had to throw a bit along the way. The Wolcott Family should be happy with 4-4, and there’s a little bit of belief on their side that they can pull off this upset now that they’re healthier. It’ll take an interception or two, which Alex has been known to throw occasionally, and let’s remember that RW has beaten the Tots, lost to ILF by a point, and lost to the Stunts by only 8. They’re better than they appear. RESET WARRIORS BY 3

 

#4 Tater Tots (4-4) vs #5 Creekers (4-4)

 

Points For: TT 34.38 (3rd), Creekers 30.38 (5th)

Points Against: TT 27.63 (5th), Creekers 29.38 (6th)

TSL Rank: TT 25th, Creekers 26th

Last 3: TT 0-2, Creekers 1-2

Past Games: 48-22 TT

Line: Tater Tots (-7)

 

The Tater Tots jumped into D4 with B in tow to throw, and they’ve looked like they’ve belonged here the whole time. Dave Marcus has once again assembled a talented, yet very fun team that’s easy to root for. The Tots may be one step behind the “Top 3” in D4, but they have the ability to pull off an upset as well. The Creekers’ also jumped into D4 after a D5 title, and started off hot themselves. They beat ILF early on and established themselves as contenders. The last few weeks have not been kind to them though. They lost to 1-7 Cobblestone, The barely beat 1-7 TR20, and then they got obliterated by the Stunts. It feels like they’ve taken a step back here. TATER TOTS BY 8

 

D5

 

The Contenders:

 

GUCCI (3-1)

Power Puff Girls (4-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (4-1)

Come From Behind (6-1)

 

One Step Behind:

 

Not So Sticky (8-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Stir The Sauce (20-1)

TMA (30-1)

Two Tuddies (32-1)

 

The Story: GUCCI continues their regular season dominance over the division, taking home another division title. However, the contenders for the championship aren’t that far behind as the Red Hot Power Puff Girls are on the warpath, meanwhile Come From Behind continues to be in the title picture as they are every season. Travis Henry’s Kids, the entire season “favorite” figures to get Pistol Pete back for the playoffs. He’s a legitimate threat to take over any game, in any division. Not So Sticky sits at 4-2-2, and always has an outside chance of making noise. They can play with anyone, especially in the playoffs (just ask CFB about that), and might be the best “value bet” with their odds to win the title in the league. Stir The Sauce had quite a few moments this season in their first go, but ultimately couldn’t beat anyone other than the two teams below them in the standings. TMA had quite the rough outing this season, and it seems like a return home to D6 is in the cards for them. The Two Tuddies struggled to find their footing in D5 after winning the D6 title. Despite being the only winless team this season, they were in a lot of games, and they didn’t get blown out too much. 

 

#1 GUCCI (7-0-1) vs #8 Two Tuddies (0-7-1)

 

Points For: GUCCI 31.00 (3rd), TT 19.63 (7th)

Points Against: GUCCI 15.50 (1st), TT 36.63 (7th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 3rd, TT 50th

Last 3: GUCCI 3-0-1, TT 0-4

Past Games: 42-20 GUCCI

Line: GUCCI (-17)

 

GUCCI had a spectacular season, going 7-0-1, but now they get to play their biggest nemesis. No, not the Tud Buds, but the first round of the playoffs! GUCCI has followed up the last two successful regular seasons with getting upset in the first round (Spring 2023 losing to #8 TMA, Fall 2023 losing to #6 Goatsack!). Kelly Kane has been dealing all year as usual, but more impressive is the GUCCI defense allowing ONLY 15.50 points on average all season! They allowed 24 points in Week 1 of the season, and since then only ONE team was able to score 20 on them. That team? The Two Tuddies. The Tud Buds have struggled on both sides of the ball, but averaging less than 20 points a game against a defense only allowing 15.50? GUCCI BY 14

 

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-3) vs #7 TMA (1-7)

 

Points For: THK 31.00 (3rd), TMA 13.75 (8th)

Points Against: THK 28.25 (5th), TMA 38.63 (8th)

TSL Rank: THK 11th, TMA 49th

Last 3: THK 1-3, TMA 0-3

Past Games: 28-14 THK

Line: Travis Henry’s Kids (-14)

 

Travis Henry’s Kids finished the season in 2nd place despite losing a couple of games they probably shouldn’t have in recent weeks. Regardless, Langley has been throwing well this season, with or without Pistol Pete, and let’s not forget that they have Aaron as well. The rest of THK is filled with good players who go overlooked as well. They get a TMA team that’s still transitioning, and it’s been hard for one of the TSL’s marquee franchises. Lots of player turnover has led to lots of mistakes on both sides of the ball, and the once legendary TMA Defense is long gone. With that said, they did keep THK in check in the last game they played, and if QB Ryan can summon his 2022 form, an upset isn’t out of the question. It just depends on how upbeat and confident TMA is at this point. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

 

#3 Come From Behind (5-3) vs #6 Stir The Sauce (3-5)

 

Points For: CFB 32.00 (2nd), STS 29.75 (5th)

Points Against: CFB 23.50 (3rd), STS 28.25 (6th)

TSL Rank: CFB 13th, STS 36th

Last 3: CFB 2-1, STS 1-2

Past Games: 52-10 CFB

Line: Come From Behind (-10)

 

As we saw last week in CFB’s 52-10 win over STS, this is a bad matchup for STS. Their main source of offense, the uber talented Wrestler Dan can’t use his height to his advantage as CFB has some taller athletes of their own. Paul LoVullo is a living legend in the TSL, and he STILL slings the rock harder than almost everyone. The ladies are always good, and have the most experience in league history. Harlan continues to blossom as one of the best upcoming players in the league. CFB is good. Very good. STS has talent as well, and were keeping games close in the beginning of the year against good teams. However, they’ve been a little off lately, and next season really feels like the time they’ll pop. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

 

#4 Power Puff Girls (5-3) vs #5 Not So Sticky (4-2-2)

 

Points For: PPG 35.50 (1st), NSS 27.00 (6th)

Points Against: PPG 26.63 (4th), NSS 22.25 (2nd)

TSL Rank: PPG 16th, NSS 19th

Last 3: PPG 4-0, NSS 2-0-1

Past Games: 42-34 PPG

Line: Power Puff Girls (-3)

 

The Power Puff Girls started the season getting throttled by THK. Since then, other than a big loss to CFB, they’ve won every game OR lost to GUCCI 18-16. They figured it out, and D5 should be terrified. Amber’s team has been gelling together all season, and QB Kyle has figured out how to best use studs like Maddie, Casey, Jessie, and Brit Matthews. That’s just to name a few. The talent was always there, now the ‘knowhow’ is getting there too. Not So Sticky has had a good season for their standards. Sometimes they’re 6-2, other’s they’re 0-8, but this year’s 4-2-2 is crazy given the two ties. Rags has been throwing better than he has in a long time, and Hot Vodka Ashley has had a great season too. We know how talented the rest of them are. This should be a doozy, but the Girls are one of the hottest teams in the TSL right now. POWER PUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

D6

 

The Contenders: 

 

Pit Harade (3-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (4-1)

Back That Pass Up (6-1)

 

The “Just On The Outside But Could Surprise”:

 

Balls Deep (8-1)

Mighty Ducks (12-1)

 

Just Joshing:

 

Just Joshing (15-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Sticky Laces (20-1)

Dogg Pound (25-1)

 

The Story: D6 takes the mantle of this season’s absolutely nuts division. Pit Harade finished 1st overall after beating Blitzkrieg last week. The loss dropped Blitzkrieg into a ridiculous 4-5 matchup against the McMuffins. Back That Pass Up lost to Sticky Laces, which somehow helped Balls Deep jump up to the #2 seed, despite looking less than impressive for a month now, with a negative point differential to boot. The Mighty Drunks still can’t figure out what defense is, but if they do, they could win the whole thing. Just Joshing more than likely isn’t a contender, but they’re spry enough to pull off an upset. Sticky Laces and Dogg Pound ended up in the 8-9 seed game, as they both had a bit of a learning curve this season as new teams. 

#8 Sticky Laces (2-6) vs #9 Dogg Pound (1-7)

 

Points For: SL 18.63 (8th), DP 12.38 (9th)

Points Against: SL 23.38 (5th), DP 25.63 (6th)

TSL Rank: SL 40th, DP 46th

Last 3: SL 1-3, DP 1-3

Past Games: 27-10 DP

Line: Sticky Laces (-6)

 

A little bit of intrigue in the 8-9 matchup here, as Sticky Laces, coming off a 25-0 win over Back That Pass Up last week, should be a bit more favored over Dogg Pound, however, Dogg Pound beat the Laces in their meeting earlier in the year for their only win. Laces QB Kyle has had a bag of mixed results as he’s taken the reins for the team, and the results haven’t been that great, as they’re averaging under 19 points a game. The Sticky Laces defense has been pretty good, and kept them in a lot of games. As for Dogg Pound, they’ve also had a nice defense, and other than allowing 48 to the McMuffins, and 30 last week to BTPU, they’ve kept everyone else to 28 points or less. Not bad for a brand new team. Their issue is their offense as well, as they average a TSL low 12 points a game. This game promises to be a low scoring affair, with whoever’s defense makes more plays taking it. STICKY LACES BY 6

#1 Pit Harade (6-2) vs #8 Sticky Laces (2-6)

 

Points For: PH 27.75 (4th), SL 18.63 (8th)

Points Against: PH 18.63 (1st), SL 23.38 (5th)

TSL Rank: PH 7th, SL 40th

Last 3: PH 2-0, SL 1-3

Past Games: 33-6 PH

Line: Pit Harade (-10)

 

Pit Harade has had another excellent season as Joe K’s squad continues to impress in D6. Reigning D6 Female MVP Ray has shown back up as QB, and the results have been pretty good, other than a loss to the McMuffins. Tall Bearded Guy has had a fantastic season, seemingly scoring 3 TDs a game, and when he’s there with Sam Pezzino, well, there’s a reason they’ve only allowed less than 19 points a game. The other players on the team all have had highlights during the year, as another season has taught them how the game works a bit better. Sticky Laces could more than likely need a little more seasoning before making some noise next session. PIT HARADE BY 13

 

#2 Balls Deep (5-3) vs #7 Just Joshing (3-5)

 

Points For: BD 21.38 (7th), JJ 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: BD 22.25 (3rd), JJ 26.75 (7th)

TSL Rank: BD 10th, JJ 37th

Last 3: BD 2-1, JJ 1-2

Past Games: 40-38 BD

Line: Balls Deep (-3)

Balls Deep feels like the weakest option for the #2 seed, but they’ve earned it. They DO hold wins over Blitzkrieg, Back That Pass Up, and Pit Harade, so they aren’t slouches, but after starting with 3 wins over those teams, they’ve lost to the Mighty Drunks (not great), Sticky Laces (extra not great), they were shut out by the McMuffins (not great) and just barely pulled out a win over their opponent this week, Just Joshing (not good). They’ve seemed to have lost whatever was working for them earlier in the year. Their pretty good defense helps make up for an anemic offense, but if any of the better teams score 28 points (their averages range from 27.75-34.48), I can’t see Balls Deep keeping up. Just Joshing has done the “new team figuring things out quickly” version, and after a slow start they’ve been in games: they beat the McMuffins and just lost to Blitzkrieg so progress is being shown. A week after losing to Balls Deep by two points, they got them again. You know what they say, it’s hard to beat a team twice. JUST JOSHING BY 3

 

#3 Back That Pass Up (5-3) vs #6 Mighty Drunks (4-4)

 

Points For: BTPU 28.25 (3rd), MD 25.88 (5th)

Points Against: BTPU 27.25 (8th), MD 34.25 (9th)

TSL Rank: BTPU 12th, MD 33rd

Last 3: BTPU 3-1, MD 1-2

Past Games: 50-41 BTPU

Line: Back That Pass Up (-6)

 

Back That Pass Up continues to confound me. They lost to Balls Deep (meh), Pit Harade (okay), and Sticky Laces (not great). But they also have close wins over Blitzkrieg and the McMuffins. Alex D’s squad has continued to make strides this season (as is the theme for them since they came into the league), and having Alex Lee at QB is a great thing for them. The problem is that if Lee isn’t on his game, then BTPU is in trouble, as the defense isn’t great. Luckily, that won’t matter this week, as the Mighty Drunks have had an even more ridiculous season, sometimes being able to score 40 points with no issue, or getting shut out. They have the worst defense in the division by a large margin, and with BTPU being 2nd worst, expect to see another 50-41 game. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 9

 

#4 Blitzkrieg (5-3) vs #5 Sausage McMuffins (5-3)

 

Points For: BK 30.50 (2nd), SMM 34.38 (1st)

Points Against: BK 20.75 (2nd), SMM 23.25 (4th)

TSL Rank: BK 14th, SMM 15th

Last 3: BK 1-2, SMM 0-2

Past Games: 37-31 BK

Line: EVEN

 

It’s honestly a shame that these two teams have to play each other in the first round. D6’s two highest scoring teams (and two best Point Differential teams) take on each other in what is sure to be a classic matchup. While both of these teams should be playing on Championship Saturday, only one of them will make it there. Blitzkrieg was in first place for most of the season, as QB Alex has been dealing most of the year, and getting to add Allie back to his stable of really good females has been huge for BK. There’s been a disappointing absence of Light Red Hoodie Guy, but that shouldn’t take away from what’s been a great season for BK. The McMuffins have Alex throwing the ball even when he doesn’t always want to, but when you have a team that has Eric and Ricky out there, things are going to be okay. These two teams are so evenly matched, but I expect BK to slow down the McMuffins offense just enough to move on. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• What if we wear the same color as who we’re playing? Bring a different color then. Everyone should have their team bring the opposite color if you have the same as your opponent (You both wear black? Bring white.). I don’t think it’s a specific rule, but the higher seed SHOULD have color preference in these scenarios. Try to make it easier on everyone. 

 

 

 

• The field is set, who are the champions going to be? Always fun to predict, but I think we’ll be seeing Eyes Uptown, The Untouchaballs, The Malones, Cunning Stunts, Travis Henry’s Kids, and Blitzkrieg as champions this season. 

 

 

 

• Rank the #1 seeds in terms of how confident you are in them to win from most to least. Let’s see here. The Malones, Eyes Uptown, Cunning Stunts, GUCCI, Mavericks, Pit Harade

 

 

 

• Were there any upsets you were close to picking but chose not to? This season, I really went with a few upsets it seems. The only one I couldn’t pull the trigger on was Puckett beating The Untouchaballs. I know UT seems like they’re on fire with the win over ED, but Puckett is always magic in the playoffs, and UT has the worst offense (by points per game) in the division. Just feels like it COULD happen, but I can’t bet against the champs. 

 

 

 

• Who are your best “long shot” bets in each division? I’m going to try to choose people who aren’t the top contenders here for sure. In each division: Eyes Downtown (D1 is hard to do this for), Can’t Touch This (D2 is too), Let’s Get Reccked, Tater Tots, Not So Sticky, Mighty Drunks. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club Playoffs: 

• Steph Infection 31, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 28

• Dri’s Company 36, Mistymeanors 30

 

 

 

• Games of the Day:

• 10:00 - Jabronies vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 11:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown

• 12:00 - Keller Whales vs Buffalo Vice

• 1:00 - Power Puff Girls vs Not So Sticky

• 2:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

• 3:00 - Back That Pass Up vs Mighty Drunks

 

 

 

• THE WINE TOURNAMENT IS AUGUST 3RD AND SPOTS ARE FILLING UP! GET YOUR TEAM IN TODAY! 

 

 

 

• We all know that emotions are running high and hot when the Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins, so remind your team to keep themselves in check when it comes to the refs or even the other team. Don’t be jerks. 

 

 

 

• Buffalo has been hot all week, and Saturday is no different. My Super Accurate Weather Channel App says it’ll be 86 degrees, with the wind at 11 mph out of the south west. The point is, wear sunscreen, and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!

 

 

 

• The three best teams for an upset that I didn’t name earlier: Practice Squad, Vaspian, Whoever ends up playing The Malones. 

 

 

 

• Be EARLY to your games this week. We don’t want playoff games to run late regardless, but if a game has to go to overtime, we don’t want to be running behind by 15 minutes BEFORE the OT game makes it longer. 

 

 

 

• If Sticky beats Eyes Downtown, you have to wonder if Bobby is going to start looking for a new rusher after the last month of disappointment. 

 

 

 

• After going 4-4 against D1, that D1/D2 combo next season is looking pretty competitive. If it happens. 

 

 

 

• That’s it. The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality begins NOW. You’ve waited all season for this moment, go capture it. Don’t let it slip. Give everything you’ve got. 

 

 

Good luck. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 07 June 2024 12:45

Published: Friday, 07 June 2024 12:45

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, in just a short time most of you will be preparing to gather your football stuff (gloves, ball, cleats, something alcoholic you sneak onto to fields which you shouldn’t do, jersey, etc) in order to head on down to the Lenny Alba Fields at The Rose Garden to play a game or two (or three…or four) of Social Co-Ed Touch Football. The ones who are reading this that aren’t going to be doing that are wishing they were. Why? It’s because if you’re reading this article, or checking the rankings, or seeing what The Sentinel saw, or listening to the podcast…you love this wacky world of TSL Football. Some of you are currently in the league, seeing what I’m going to predict for the upcoming games this week and if I’m going to pick you to win. Others aren’t even a part of this league, and maybe they play elsewhere, but they want to be. Others used to play in the league and they’re just checking in to see how things are going. Some of you have been reading my article for the last 13 years or so that I’ve been writing this thing. Some of you just joined the league recently and you’re still figuring out what the hell is actually going on. Whatever your reason, TSL Football has ingrained itself in your DNA, whether you like it or not. 

 

New players to the league, you’re just starting to get it. Playoffs are approaching, and you’re getting that excitement as the Race to Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is about to begin. You spend a little more time each week thinking about Saturday’s game(s), you read the articles, you start listening to the podcast to see if you’re mentioned or what they say about your team. It’s grabbing a hold of you. The players who have been here for a while, whether it’s been two years or two decades, you’re reading this nodding along, remembering how it happened for you too. How you’ve seen TSL football grab a hold of countless others and become a large part of their lives without them even realizing it. Eventually, you just let it happen. You welcome it. You join the cult. And that’s okay. 

 

But how did we get here? How did a Social Co-Ed Football league become this massive, living, breathing thing that has spawned countless relationships, marriages, children who will become the next wave of TSL superstars (and they’re already starting to play in the league!)? How did a football league like this literally create a family that rolls thousands deep? One that actually made its own yearly holiday? 

 

Magic, mostly. Cookie Monster and Elmo helped, but it was mostly magic. But in reality, it’s because a group of people started a football league, wanting to do things the “right way”. Sure, while the actual football matters, it’s the least important part of what’s going on here. When the TSL was started many, many moons ago, it was described as a drinking league that had an hour of football get in the way during the day. It was about the PEOPLE in it, making them feel like family, and doing all of the little things to keep making it special. Sometimes, that was just buying someone who was sitting alone at the bar a drink and talking to them for a bit. Other times that meant hiring a mariachi band to play at the fields and follow someone around playing music wherever they went for most of the day. Or it meant getting an ice cream truck to pull up to the fields for “Free Ice Cream” day. Or it meant spinning a massive wheel that has all of the TSL’s teams on it once an hour, and if your team was at the bar and it landed on your space, you got a $100 bar tab. But you had to be there. And by being there, you naturally met new people. And before you knew it, you were playing in Breakfast Club, or picking out your outfit for the TSL Banquet preparing to dance your face off, telling your “non-football” friends about this league you’re in and how awesome it is, trying to get them to join in on the fun. And the entire time, they were telling themselves in the back of their minds that you’re nuts. Until they tried it themselves and got attached. The Circle of Life. 

 

This weekend, the holiday I mentioned earlier is upon us. Lenny and Rameer Day is officially the Saturday after June 4th, which was Lenny’s birthday, but also, in a weird twist, the date of Rameer’s passing. Lenny and Rameer Day is a time to bring all of the TSL together to have a drink, share a laugh, and make a new friend or two. Yes, the league will be toasting to the memories of two of the three most influential people in league history as well. It’s a time for happiness. For celebration. They would’ve wanted it that way. 

 

Now I know that the new people to the league are asking themselves one question: Who the hell are Lenny and Rameer? And that’s fair. So let me tell you. Lenny Alba was Topper’s best friend and was also the TSL Commissioner for Life. He was sitting alongside Topper when they decided to start the TSL and breakaway from the league they used to be a part of. Rumor has it Lenny sort of made Topper do it, and for those of you who never got to meet Lenny, believe me he can be a persuasive human being. Like the kind of person that can convince you to write an article about a co-ed football league every week for the last 13 years, even when your job moved you away to a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa about a decade ago. But, here I am. Still. Anyway, Lenny was a great person who poured a ton of his time and effort into the league. While he helped make rules, and would make decisions on football matters, that was never his main goal. His main goal was the people. He would meet new people at the bar, and make them feel included. He was sincere in getting to know you, which would then have you being a part of his shenanigans for the league be it coming on the podcast, or being in a music video, or driving B’s Brother to places and filming it. Maybe you’d end up being the TSL Bachelorette and have 16 eligible bachelors from the league compete to win your heart. (This was a thing, yes. And from what I know she’s still in the league. We’ll not name her directly to keep her protected. And no, she’s not with the winner of the competition. You should’ve seen how it all unfolded. I think you can go back and listen to those episodes on the podcast feed on the website.) The point is, Lenny was a larger than life personality who made the TSL about the people first, and the football itself a distant second. He truly cared about each and every person he came across, and he believed there was good in everyone. Even Blase. His approach to the league and its members is why the TSL has become the Greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football League in the world, why every other league tries to emulate what the TSL does (and fails every time), and why the players who don’t play in the league yet want to. 

 

Rameer eventually became the “third wheel” to Topper and Lenny. Anyone reading this who ever hung out with Topper and Lenny at the same time knows that doing it just once can be exhausting (in all of the best ways). Rameer signed up for it, willingly. When Topper and Lenny couldn’t agree on a rule for the league, or were split on some decision, Rameer became the deciding vote. He was named Director of Officiating when Topper and Lenny decided getting the ref schedule together every week on top of all of the other things they were doing was too much. Rameer was always offering to help with the league, and since he knew everybody, it was easy for him to take on that role, get people reffing, and he had NO problem yelling at people when it was needed. Rameer was similar to Lenny in how he went about his time in the league. He also made it all about the people. Now, where Lenny was loud, ridiculous, over the top, and in your face to make you feel included, Rameer would do that too, just in the opposite way. He was quieter (to be fair, everyone was/is quieter than Lenny) in his approach. He’d notice you from afar (guys and girls, to make that sound less stalkerish) and then he’d saddle up next to you to chat with you. Rameer would get to know you on a personal level, and if you weren’t having the best day or your ‘vibe’ was off, he’d wait until you were alone to check in on that. But he made sure to check in on it, and never forgot to do so if he felt you needed it. He made you feel included in that way. It was important to him. He always put up a rough exterior at first, but once you broke through that (it wasn’t that hard), you’d realize he was a softie with a big heart who truly cared. Just like Lenny was too. 

 

Lenny and Rameer are two of the biggest reasons that the TSL exists in the way it currently does. They’re WHY we’re a football family, and why other places consider us a “cult”. People like them were the biggest difference between the TSL and everyone else, and they truly can’t be replicated. The league today still has many people who care, and who get to know you the way they did. It was always about the people with them. And that's why we celebrate them every spring. If you’re reading this, and you’ve ever made lifelong friends from this league, or got a girlfriend/boyfriend from the league, gotten married to someone from the league, had a child with someone from the league, gone on trips with someone from the league, and whatever else there could be to do with people who you met from the league who have gone from “someone from football” to “person who I’d still know if football just went away”, then hopefully you’ll stop up to the bar this weekend to share a laugh, say hello to a new friend, and just take in the atmosphere, if only for a moment. They would’ve wanted it that way. 

 

Let me be the first to kick off the festivities. To Lenny and Rameer! Thank you for everything guys. 

 

And now, you’re probably sitting there saying “But Godfather, I just saw on the TSL Facebook Page a couple of days ago saying that Lenny and Rameer Day was moved to next week!”. And you’d be right, sort of. It’s true, with the weather report for Saturday (earlier in the week) looking like it was supposed to rain and be windy, the powers that be moved all of the shenanigans that we have in store back a week. So, instead of having things like a dunk tank at the fields on a 68 degree day in the wind and rain, it was moved to the 15th that’s currently supposed to be 80+ degrees and sunny. However, since many TSLers past and present planned to be there this week, Lenny and Rameer Day (in typical Lenny fashion) has become a two day extravaganza! This week will be more of a “Rameer” Day, with everyone just congregating at the bar and toasting to them and hopefully getting to know the newer players in the league. Next week, on Lenny and Rameer Day (Observed) will be more of a “Lenny” Day, with all of the shenanigans and prize wheels and make your own T-Shirt guys and maybe a magician or something too, who knows? Now you get two days to celebrate two amazing people who made all of this possible. It was always about the people first. Enjoy it. 

 

And yeah, for those of you here for the predictions, it’s like I said earlier. The football itself was always secondary. 

But I’m still going to do it. 

D1/D2:

 

It’s Crossover Time! In an effort to give D1 teams someone ELSE to play, and to show the D2 teams that maybe they CAN play in D1 and they shouldn’t be scared, we’re getting some interdivision battles this weekend! Some of the best upsets in TSL history have come from these games in the past. Let’s get into them! 

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

D1:

 

Eyes Uptown 36, Eyes Downtown 31

 

That’s it. That’s the tweet. Eyes Uptown gets a second straight last second win to take the division lead. 

 

D2:

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Freeballers 41 (TIE)

Puckett All-Stars 48, Scared Hitless 36

 

CTT and Freeballers battle to a high scoring tie, while Puckett FINALLY gets that first win over a shorthanded Scared Hitless team. Still counts. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Eyes Downtown vs The Untouchaballs (+10) - Jeremy Burr vs Bobby McConnell? These crossover games already look like they’ll be fantastic. Both teams have been playing well. Upset Potential? 3/10. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 14

 

Sticky Bandits vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers have been pretty good recently, and with Sean out there for them anything can really happen. Sticky will more than likely have an answer to take him out of the game though. Upset Potential? 6/10. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Scared Hitless (+3) - Frodo draws a Scared Hitless team that has been in a little bit of a slump, but if they all show up and the defense makes a play or two, look out. Upset potential? 9/10. SCARED HITLESS BY 2

 

Eyes Uptown vs Mavericks (+6) - Eyes Uptown has been quite hot lately, winning on the last drive twice in a row. The Mavs can score and they fixed the defense from last year, but when the game begins it’ll have been three weeks since they last played. Any rust forming here will be deadly for them. Upset Potential? 8/10. EYES UPTOWN BY 7

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Topper All-Stars & Todd 27, Keller Whales 26

Jabronies 45, Wanderers 35

Jabronies 27, Bullet Club 26

Wanderers 28, Keller Whales 17

The Malones 62, Let’s Get Reccked 29

 

D3 continues to be its usual chaotic self, although the one constant is that nobody can touch the Malones, who demolished LGR. Meanwhile, Topper gets his first win back in the league, beating the Kellers, who would drop to 0-2 on the day after a loss to the Wanderers later in the day. The Jabronies were the big story, going 2-0 and handing the Wanderers their first loss of the year, and then holding on against Bullet Club. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs Topper All-Stars & Todd (+3) - Topper vs Joe K on Lenny and Rameer Day just makes sense. It’s been a rough season, as both teams are a combined 2-9 on the year, and they’re angling to play in the 8-9 play in game. This should be fun. BULLET CLUB BY 1

 

The Malones vs Jabronies (+10) - The Malones are walking into D2 next season no matter what. The Jabronies are the next team standing in their way. THE MALONES BY 20

 

Keller Whales vs Bullet Club (+6) - The Kellers had a rough week last week, but were missing their QB in Damien who must’ve had final exams or something. BC continues to lose close ones, and will do so again here. KELLER WHALES BY 3

 

Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - These two teams come into the week pretty even after 6 weeks, although Vice currently feels like the hotter of the two. BUFFALO VICE BY 6

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - On paper, you’d think LGR would steamroll, but they proceed to not dominate as they should just about every week. Vice makes this a game. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

 

The Malones vs Topper All-Stars & Todd (+17) - I’m not sure what the scoring records are for the league, but I feel like The Malones are going to get it. THE MALONES BY 14

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Cunning Stunts 54, Tater Tots 30

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 27, Reset Warriors 26

Cobblestone 22, Creekers 19

Creekers 29, The Roaring 20s 20

Vaspian 30, Cobblestone 20

 

The Stunts maintain their dominance over the men of D4 like they should be getting paid for it. ILF slips by a very game Reset Warriors team. Cobblestone finally feels like they gave the rest of D4 the head start they needed, and they take out the Creekers before losing late in the day to Vaspian. The Creekers would rebound by just getting past TR20, who continue to improve. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Vaspian (+10) - Vaspian got a nice win last week and is getting hot, but PWI is already hot and should put up tons of points in this one. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 17

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Cobblestone (+7) - ILF just feels a little off this season, but this week is as good as any to get things settled down for playoffs. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 12

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+8) - The Stunts put their perfect record on the line against the Creekers, who will look to rebound from a tough week last week. CUNNING STUNTS BY 10

 

Reset Warriors vs The Roaring 20s (+7) - The Reset Warriors feel like a team that’s on the edge of breaking out in D4. They can score, and TR20 still has trouble on the defensive side of things. RESET WARRIORS BY 10

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

GUCCI 17, Come From Behind 14

Come From Behind 50, Two Tuddies 14

Not So Sticky 36, TMA 12

GUCCI 18, Not So Sticky 18 (TIE)

Power Puff Girls 52, Stir The Sauce 33

 

GUCCI only scores 17 points but holds the CFB offense to only 14 to get a win between two D5 contenders. CFB would go on to take out their frustrations on Two Tuddies afterwards, while GUCCI would go on to tie Not So Sticky, just after NSS pulled out a win over TMA. Lastly the PPG put up a big win over STS. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Power Puff Girls vs TMA (+10) - Don’t look now, but the Power Puff Girls are getting hot. They’re the type of team that can make some noise in the playoffs the more they “figure it out”...and they’re figuring it out. POWER PUFF GIRLS BY 10

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Not So Sticky (+7) - THK has only played 4 games so far this season, lowest in the league. Two weeks of doubleheaders starts with NSS, fresh off a great game against GUCCI. THK is on another level though. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 16

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs GUCCI (+6) - The 5-0-1 GUCCI takes on the 4-0 (should be 5-0 going into this) THK for first place in D5. We have a championship preview on our hands. I worry about GUCCI’s ability to score enough to keep up. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

 

Power Puff Girls vs Two Tuddies (+8) - The Tuddies have the distinction of being the only team in the TSL without a victory this season, and with THK and GUCCI on the horizon, this is their best chance to get a win. The problem of course, is that the PPG is playing very well. POWER PUFF GIRLS BY 3

 

Come From Behind vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - CFB continues to remain very hot, despite the loss to GUCCI last week. STS continues to improve overall, but they’re not at CFB levels yet. COME FROM BEHIND BY 16

 

GUCCI vs Two Tuddies (+14) - The Tud Buds need to find a way to keep GUCCI’s scoring down, but also improve on the 21 points per game they’re averaging on offense. One stop could give them a win. But, you know. GUCCI BY 7

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Back That Pass Up 30, Blitzkrieg 26

Sausage McMuffins 28, Balls Deep 0

Pit Harade 52, Mighty Drunks 12

Just Joshing 16, Sticky Laces 15

Dogg Pound 27, Sticky Laces 10

 

BTPU continues to be the TSL’s most bi-polar team, this time pulling out a win over Blitzkrieg. The McMuffins stomp on Balls Deep, shutting them out. The “bad” Mighty Drunks showed up this week as they got beat down by Pit Harade. Just Joshing moves to .500 with a win over the Sticky Laces, who dropped to 0-2 on the day when the Dogg Pound got their first win!

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Dogg Pound (+13) - Despite the loss to BTPU, BK still remains the D6 favorites, and they get the Pound Puppies to right the ship this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

 

Back That Pass Up vs Just Joshing (EVEN) - The numbers suggest these two teams are closer than they appear, which makes sense as JJ just keeps improving week over week while BTPU is all over the place. They settle in here. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 10

 

Balls Deep vs Dogg Pound (+3) - Balls Deep has been just simply not good for a few weeks now, while the Dogg Pound is improving. Dogg Pound gets its biggest win in their short history. DOGG POUND BY 6

 

Mighty Drunks vs Sticky Laces (+7) - We continue to have no idea what version of the Drunks will show up, but the “good” version is overdue to pop out this week. Sticky Laces is another team that continues to improve every week, even if they’re not quite getting the wins to show for it just yet. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Are you a new team coming to the bar to check things out? If so, take a look around and start talking to some other people who have been in the league for a while. It’s the best way YOU can help add to the fun of a Lenny and Rameer Day. 

 

 

 

• What’s going on in Breakfast Club? Well, Trish’s team has pulled ahead as the favorites, but everyone else seems pretty close. Even the last place team, Dorene’s Nutz, is 0-5, but have lost all 5 games by a total of NINE points. They’ve lost by 1, 2, 3, 1, and 2 points. Crazy. We have a very good BC this season, the playoffs start the 15th for them. 

 

 

 

• With two weeks to go, are there clear favorites in each division? Actually, kind of. Right now in D1, Eyes Uptown are the favorites, but Downtown and Sticky are right there. But in D2, the Mavericks have a sizable gap between them and the rest of the division. The Malones in D3 are unsurprisingly overwhelming favorites, as they average 54 points a game. The Stunts are pretty big favorites in D4, and so is THK in D5. D6 is pretty interesting at the top, as Blitzkrieg, the McMuffins, and Pit Harade are all very close, but have created some separation from the rest of the division in terms of underlying numbers and math. All this means is that every team I mentioned won’t be champions when all is said and done. 

 

 

 

• What teams are the most overrated/underrated by the numbers right now? In terms of overrated, there aren’t too many teams who have a deep negative point differential but are also .500 or above. The Mighty Drunks at 3-3 are one of them, ILF has a negative PD despite being 4-2, and Practice Squad at 3-3 qualifies here too. As for underrated, don’t be surprised but Puckett is much better than their 1-5 record suggests, as is Bullet Club, The Reset Warriors, and Let’s Get Reccked. 

 

 

 

• How do I get more involved in the league? I love it here. Well, there’s a few things you can do to get more involved. The league is always looking for new referees, so please reach out to Jeff Krol, Topper, Joe K, Garrett, B, etc if you’re interested. We could always use more people for Breakfast Club if you’d like to sign up for that to meet new people. If you’d like to join the podcast to talk about your squad, talk to the above people too. If you don’t know who Jeff, Topper, Joe K, Garrett, B and everyone is, just ask around, someone will be able to direct you to one of them pretty quickly. And you can always email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to hype up you and your team. Or to just say hello and how you like the article. Or to give info I can use FOR the article about your games. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• It’s Lenny and Rameer Day, Part 1. Get yourself to the bar after your game for at least ONE drink! 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• BCTV 40, Dri’s Company 38

• Mistymeanors 30, Jeneva Conventions 20

• Steph Infection 27, D’s Nutz 26

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Toppers All-Stars & Todd

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - Balls Deep vs Dogg Pound

• 1:00 - Cobblestone vs ILF

• 2:00 - GUCCI vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 3:00 - Eyes Uptown vs Mavericks

 

 

 

• Remember, the TSL Wine Tournament is August 3rd, and if you haven’t signed up yet for it, do so now. You can do it right here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1kHH9UEaZ5bohtmGsUZlPjfzPF_dglSHgJurWR9OGeJo/edit 

• Teams are really starting to heat up as the season winds down, which can only mean one thing for the playoffs: absolute chaos. Just how we like it. 

 

 

 

• I really think the Reset Warriors are going to be good for quite some time in the league if they stick around. 

 

 

 

• The amount of teams moving up divisions in the fall regardless of if they win the title or not feels higher than usual. (Stares at The Malones and Travis Henry’s Kids in particular)

 

 

 

• From what I’ve been told, garbage on the fields after the games is getting smaller and smaller, so keep on that! 

 

 

 

• I’ve gotten quite a few emails recently from TSL mainstays who have been complimenting people on their sportsmanship, letting refs know they got the wrong call even if it hurts their own team. “No that was a catch”, “Yeah, I was out of bounds”, “I missed the tag”, etc. Things like that. Considering how we remember the arguing, or the missed calls, or who messed up, I just wanted to highlight the good in the league too. 

 

 

 

• Lenny and Rameer Day is going to be a great time, even if Lenny and Rameer Day (Observed) is next week with all of the ridiculous fun stuff that’s happening. Like many have said before, the TSL is a family. I’ve done this article a very long time, and I’ve seen and heard about a ton of awesome things that this league has brought into people’s lives. The more you put into the league, the more you get out of it. It’s why I implore the new people to walk up to the bar and make a new friend or 6. Next week, I hope my inbox is full of stories from you about the good things about this league and how well everything went. Have a blast, and remember to raise a glass to those we’ve lost along the way. 

 

Happy Lenny and Rameer Day! 

 

-GF OUT