WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 September 2022 13:09

Published: Friday, 23 September 2022 13:09

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 192

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, it’s time for you to put up or shut up. The TSL Fall 2022 season is officially on the back end as we roll into Week 6. Teams early season hopes have been dashed, while others are just starting to figure out how to play football this season. Some teams have dominated from the start and continue to, other teams have begun looking into something more their speed for the spring, like competitive hide and go seek or mini golf at Putt-Putt Golf and Games.

 

While the Fall 2022’s story is only half over, we’ve begun to realize where it’s going to go. At this point, teams are who they are. Barring a magical comeback nobody expected (that’s also legal, for the record) or a tragic injury that can wipe out a team’s championship dreams, it’s pretty easy to see the path most teams will be taking to the playoffs.

 

Once we get there, of course, all of this completely goes out the window as chaos tends to reign in the playoffs, which is what makes them so exciting. After five very hot weeks that should’ve convinced any TSLer that was still on the fence that global warming is real, I’ve been told that the weather has finally broken in Buffalo, and starting Saturday you’ll be seeing actual “football weather” temperatures in the low to mid 60s (It’ll still be 80 here in Des Moines). What does that mean? It means less sunburn, more windy games, perhaps some rain and what equates to a slightly different season than the one we’ve seen so far.

 

So let’s see how we got here:

 

 

D1:

 

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 38, Grey Hair Don’t Care 8

Tight Ends In Motion 47, Legends 16

Legends 50, Scared Hitless 42

Eyes Downtown 44, Sticky Bandits 15

Frodo Swaggins 43, Passed Our Prime 41 (D1/D2 Crossover Game)

 

 

Tight Ends In Motion are back, and after abusing the Legends, they’ve established themselves as the D1 team to beat. They also tacked on a win against Grey Hair. The Legends would go on to be 1-1 on the day, getting a win against a very spry Scared Hitless team. Speaking of back, Eyes Downtown is starting to turn on the jets with a big win over Sticky Bandits. And lastly, Frodo Swaggins continues to prove they’re D1 material with an “upset” over Passed Our Prime in the crossover game.

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contenders:

 

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Legends (7-1)

Eyes Downtown (7-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Sticky Bandits (10-1)

Scared Hitless (15-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (20-1)

Passed Our Prime (25-1)

 

The Season So Far: Tight Ends In Motion are MORE than “back”. The TSL’s #1 ranked team overall are 6-0, and looked so significantly better than the Legends this weekend that I don’t know if TEIM can be beat. The Legends are 6-1, only losing to TEIM so far, but their defense hasn’t been very good and the chances of a repeat seem a lot dimmer than they did a few weeks ago. Eyes Downtown started a little shaky, but they’re 4-2 and have been playing quite well for a bit now, as the new players are finally starting to mesh into the system. It seems to be a three horse race for the title at this point in time. Sticky just isn’t the Sticky we’ve seen in the past. The offense seems downright anemic at times, even if the defense has held up. If one of the “bottom four” teams in D1 can figure it out in the next few weeks, however, it’s the Bandits. Scared Hitless is slowly showing that they can hang in D1, and if they keep the band together for the Spring (and maybe add a piece in there), they’ll be just fine. They’re doing okay on both sides of the ball as they adjust a little better each week across the board. Grey Hair seems a bit out of place in D1, and the biggest issue for them has been their defense. They struggle to stop anyone, and their offense isn’t good enough to overcome that this year. Lastly, Passed Our Prime made the jump up after winning D2, they lost the crossover game, and they’re not having the season they dreamed of in the offseason. They have the talent to give a team fits in any game, but it hasn’t really been put together this year for whatever reason.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Well, this is a fun matchup to get started on this week. TEIM’s win over the Legends didn’t just show the world they’re the team to beat, it also gave them the very important tiebreaker win in case these teams end up tied. Right now, they’re in the driver’s seat for the bye week as well. As much as missing a week of football isn’t fun, its a lot better than potentially ending up in the 2v3 game and playing Legends/Eyes Downtown in Round 2. SH just narrowly lost to the Legends, so this is yet another “prove it” game for them, and I do think they’ll be ready for the game, but TEIM is just everything right now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10

 

Eyes Downtown vs Passed Our Prime (+15) - Eyes Downtown has an outside shot at the bye week, but it’s hard to envision TEIM losing multiple games this season. As a result, they seem locked into the potential 2v3 matchup in the playoffs. That means they have 3 more games to continue to come together as a team. They’re going to be a tough out for anyone at this point. As for POP, there’s no denying their male talent, but they’re in desperate need of another stud female to really make a difference here. That’s priority #1 for Hogan’s offseason. I can feel it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

 

D1/D2 Crossover Game

 

Sticky Bandits vs The Replacements (+20) - It comes as no surprise to anyone in the TSL that as soon as Jeff Krol starts helping Topper with the schedule, Sticky gets the crossover game against the 50th ranked TSL team. We’ll completely ignore that nobody had any idea heading into the season what would unfold. There isn’t much to say here, except that Sticky gets a much needed slumpbuster. Sometimes when things aren’t going well, you just take home the last girl (or guy) in the bar at 3am and don’t tell your friends for a while. STICKY BANDITS BY 25

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice Retro 35, The Replacements 6

DILFs 48, The Untouchaballs 46

No Punt Intended 54, Freeballers 29

No Punt Intended 36, DILFs 21

Buffalo Vice Retro 20, Freeballers 13

 

Buffalo Vice Retro was almost the story of the week in D2, as they finally got in the win column not once, but twice! While that was well deserved, the story of the week is truly the arrival of No Punt Intended as a very, very real threat to Frodo’s hold on D2. Its only thing to dunk on the Freeballers (who went 0-2), and another thing to beat the DILFs pretty handily. Speaking of the DILFs, some late game heroics by Rogo lead to a big win over the Untouchaballs in the game of the day.

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contenders:

 

Frodo Swaggins (3-1)

No Punt Intended (3-1)

DILFs (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (6-1)

 

 

The Pretenders:

 

Buffalo Vice Retro (20-1)

Freeballers (20-1)

 

The Replacements:

 

The Replacements (10,578,258 to 1)

 

The Season So Far: Frodo Swaggins came out firing from the get go, running to a 5-0 lead, winning their crossover game, and looking every bit the only dominant team in D2, starting the “These guys should probably be in D1” conversations all over the league. And then, No Punt Intended started playing. Despite losing to Scared Hitless in a wild crossover game for their first game as a team, NPI has been on a tear themselves, beating the bottom teams in D2 to end up 4-1, and about the same averages in Points For and Against as Frodo. They’ve played very similar teams so far. The DILFs just escaped The Untouchaballs, but they’re right where they always are at this point: somewhere in the middle of the standings, hovering around .500. This season they’re just 3-4 instead of 4-3. The Untouchaballs are 2-3, but those losses are as follows: lost by 2 to the DILFs, lost by 2 to Frodo, and they lost the crossover game to Tight Ends In Motion. They’re MORE than fine, and they’ll be able to compete for this title as well. On one hand, Buffalo Vice Retro has been abysmal offensively, and looked out of place all season. On the other hand, they’re 2-0 in their last two games. It’s all about perspective. Finding their offense in the second half of the season is imperative for any form of a playoff run. The Freeballers are a football team. But are they a good one? Not really. Other than a surprising win over the DILFs early on, this team has gotten kicked in the teeth in every game they’ve played if we ignore the “oh we’ll run up the score to look good against The Replacements” game. This team is just missing that special something they’ve had in the past. Finally, The Replacements. It’s okay. You picked to be in D2 not really knowing what was in store. I hope you’re not completely down on yourselves and you come back in the spring in the proper division (D5?) so you can start playing some good games. It happens.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+14) - Frodo looks to come out hot as they can feel NPI nipping at their heels for the bye. BVR is just looking to build on last week’s big wins, but this just isn’t the game for them. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 12

 

Frodo Swaggins vs No Punt Intended (EVEN) - Absolutely the game of the day, the top 2 teams in D2 get to learn about each other this weekend. Both teams have good guys you haven’t really heard of much, both teams have washed up former WRs as QBs now, and both teams have talented females. This is a coin flip, so I’m flipping one. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 3

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 46, 716 26

Can’t Touch This 38, Practice Squad 32

Get Schwifty 29, Scott Seniors Starting 14

Itches and Ohs 22, Get Schwifty 12

Mountain Dew Me 34, Scott Seniors Starting 16

 

Bullet Club puts in another good effort against 716, moving to 5-0 on the season. Can’t Touch This evens their record at 2-2 with a nice win over a struggling Practice Squad. Get Schwifty finally gets a win, beating SSS who are doing their usual slow down after a nice start thing, going 0-2 on the day. And Itches and Ohs took a win from Get Schwifty as well.

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contenders:

 

Bullet Club (4-1)

Scott Senior’s Starting (5-1)

 

The Kind Of Contenders:

 

Mountain Dew Me (8-1)

Itches and Ohs (10-1)

716 (10-1)

Can’t Touch This (12-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Get Schwifty (17-1)

Practice Squad (25-1)

 

The Season So Far: Bullet Club remembered how to play football, and the move to D3 was the right one for sure. They’re playing well on both sides of the ball, and after half a season have established themselves as the team to beat in D3. Scott Senior’s Starting can score quite well, but they’re rough on the defensive side of the ball which has led to some questionable losses. Mountain Dew Me is 3-1, but other than a win over SSS (which shouldn’t go unnoticed), they’ve split with a bad Practice Squad team, and squeaked out a win over Get Schwifty. They’re 2-1 against the worst teams in the division, so there’s a lot to be learned about them over the next 4 weeks. Itches and Ohs are another team that just feels off to me. They’re not scoring like they normally would, but on the plus side they’ve seemed to get better on defense. You can’t take them lightly. 716 has a great roster on paper but it seems like they’re struggling to get on the same page. They’re only 2-2, so there’s a lot of room to grow even in this season. Same goes for Can’t Touch This, who are a mirror image of 716 in that they’re 2-2 with a strong armed QB. They really need to step it up on defense, and they can make some waves here as well. Get Schwifty has a nice mix of new and old players, but right now they’re not putting anything together. The jury is still out here, but it doesn’t look too promising. Practice Squad is all over the place. The offense isn’t consistent this time around and they look to be fighting the ball a bunch. Their usually stout defense is worst in the division. Sometimes its just not your year, and that might be what’s happening here.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs Mountain Dew Me (+8) - If MDM is going to be a legit D3 contender, a win here cements that. That gives them two wins over quality D3 teams, and they’ll hold any tiebreaker edges. MDM’s speed against the aging, veteran BC is going to be a fun watch. This might be the hardest game left for BC as they attempt to go from 0-9 to 9-0 in one season. BULLET CLUB BY 12

 

Scott Senior’s Starting vs 716 (+9) - Basically write everything I had for MDM above and apply it to 716. They’ve got a big “prove it” game against SSS this week after losing to BC last weekend. If any of these teams were bothered by only being labeled as “kind of” contenders, this is the week to really prove it. Meanwhile, SSS is on cruise control, but they’ll be looking to snap out of the funk. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 8

 

Mountain Dew Me vs 716 (+3) - And on top of it all, these two have to play each other. If they’re truly bothered by being labeled a “kind of” contender, here’s your prove it game. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 2

 

Itches and Ohs vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - D3 stays on fire this week with this matchup between two teams that are putting the finishing touches on really figuring it out this season. I think the Itches and Ohs defense plays right into the strengths of Can’t Touch This, and we’re going to see a high scoring affair. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

Get Schwifty vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - The two current “pretenders” who are both in dire need of another win this season get their best chances to do so in this one. These two teams are pretty even, and while PS is struggling on defense, GS isn’t able to take advantage of that with its not too great offense. Look for B to finally get into a groove this season. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17

 

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing 54, Travis Henry’s Kids 30

Buffalo Vice 32, Cobblestone 22

Cunning Stunts 51, Zack Attack 48

Puckett All-Stars 46, TOX 12

 

The high scoring offenses of the Stunts, Spinelli’s, and Puckett were all on display this week, as all three teams that have scored over 240 points so far this season put up huge numbers. Special shout out to Zack Attack dropping 48 in a loss to the Stunts. Meanwhile the other losers this week: THK, Cobblestone, and TOX are all in the very dangerous “miss the playoffs” zone which means there are some big games coming up here. Lost in all of that was Buffalo Vice getting their first win of the season as well.

 

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contenders:

 

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Puckett All-Stars (5-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1)

Zack Attack (8-1)

 

 

The Almost Theres:

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (11-1)

Vaspian (15-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids (20-1)

Buffalo Vice (20-1)

Cobblestone (25-1)

TOX (30-1)

 

The Season So Far: Another year, another round of the Stunts being 6-0 halfway through the season and just beating up on most teams, with a few close calls. Same story it always is. The big surprise is Puckett having a fantastic season so far. They’re 5-1, only losing to the Stunts in Week 1. They can score, they’re defending well, and things are lining up nicely for them. Whatever caused Spinelli’s hiccup for nearly a full season there (I’m blaming the jerseys), it seems to be over. They’re back to scoring a lot of points and winning games and if they shore up the defense ever so slightly, they’ll be a big title contender. Same goes for Zack Attack, which feels weird to say. ZA isn’t nearly as lights out as they used to be on the defensive side of things, but it doesn’t matter because they’re averaging 37.2 points per game, which i’m pretty sure is double what they normally do. ILF is a team that can easily jump into “contender” status, but right now they’ve only played 4 games: They’re 3-0 against the current 8-10 seeds in the standings, and they got slapped by Spinelli’s. I don’t know who they are just yet. The same can be said for Vaspian. Vaspian is 2-3, and they have a bad offense right now. Their usual top defense is still doing well. But they haven’t had their QB all season, and Brian is going to make his big return this week or next. Either way, better days are ahead for them. THK is sitting in 10th, I’m aware, but this team is a lot better than they’ve shown. If they end up winning those two games they lost by a point, they’re 2-2 and it’s a different conversation we’re having. Their schedule gets a bit easier as the season goes on. I’d say that at this point, every game is a playoff game for them, but we don’t need John crumbling in Week 6.  Buffalo Vice finally got a win with Andy back at QB, but this season hasn’t been all that fun for this squad as they’ve had an unfortunate struggle on the defensive side of things. Cobblestone has had a rough season of course, none of which is Darryl’s fault. They’re scoring at a pretty decent rate, but they can’t stop anyone which is the big problem. Finally, TOX can’t score. They’re playing a lot better than originally thought, but I think they’re still odds on favorites to not make the playoffs.

 

This Week’s Games;

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Cobblestone (+11) - Spinelli’s can score. A lot. Cobblestone can’t stop anyone. This could be pretty lopsided. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 19

 

Zack Attack vs Buffalo Vice (+12) - Same as above. Zack Attack is scoring at will these days and they’re going up against the lowest ranked defense in D4. Not a recipe for success for Vice. ZACK ATTACK BY 15

 

Vaspian vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+5) - A good test for Brian’s return as two struggling offenses meet up to get things going on track. These two teams really could use a win. However, despite the losses, THK has had their QB throwing the whole season, and Vaspian’s has some rust to shake off. Plus, THK has Pistol Pete. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs TOX (+7) - Same idea as above, except against a slightly worse defense. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 14

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+9) - Here’s ILF’s shot to show us who they are. Hopefully Andrew has his team ready to go against PAS, because I know PAS is ready for them. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs TOX (+17) - The Stunts are going to score in bunches as they always have, and TOX is going to struggle to keep up over the course of the game. They just lack the female talent to run with superstars of the Stunts. CUNNING STUNTS BY 16

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Vaspian (EVEN) - This should be a very good game that comes down to which defense blinks first. I don’t think it’ll be very high scoring, but it’ll still be entertaining nonetheless. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Woodpeckers 24, Passing While Intoxicated 24 (Tie)

Come From Behind 26, Today’s Feast 18

TMA 43, Come From Behind 22

TMA 36, Let’s Get Reccked 20

 

TMA continues their absolute dominance over the division, going 2-0 against arguably their toughest and weakest competition this season. Come From Behind rebounds from the TMA loss with a win over Today’s Feast. The Woodpeckers and PWI combine for a 24-24 tie as both teams work through some roster shuffling.

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contender:

 

TMA (2-1)

 

The “Best Shot At Beating TMA” Contender:

 

Come From Behind (4-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Passing While Intoxicated (10-1)

Today’s Feast (12-1)

Woodpeckers (20-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (30-1)

 

The Season So Far: TMA has been running through everyone pretty easily, save for a matchup with Come From Behind, who are the only team to really give them a run for their money this time around. TMA is just on another level. CFB can definitely compete with them, and they’ve shown it already this season. PWI couldn’t ride the playoff success from last season into this one, and they’ve been all over the place this year. Today’s Feast is consistently improving, and while 2-3 isn’t the best record, they’re figuring things out on both sides of the ball and they’re in just about every game they play. The Woodpeckers went out and won the D6 title last season out of nowhere, but it seems like half of that team is still out celebrating that win and not coming to the fields this season. Hopefully they show up more in the second half. Let’s Get Reccked is what Not So Sticky would be if the people on NSS didn’t know how to play football either. It’s been a rough season for LGR so far.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

TMA vs Woodpeckers (+20) - I’ve listened to the podcast each week, and they say the same thing about TMA every week: “It was a complete team game. Ryan Henery threw Lights Out. Val Testa was fantastic and scored a bunch of TDs. Brent is the best.”. The point is that this team is on fire and they keep replicating what has made them good this season. It’s just rinse and repeat at this point for them, and I can’t fathom that a Woodpeckers team that has no stability currently can beat them. TMA BY 28

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Today’s Feast (+1) - PWI has rotated through 3 QBs this season, and they’ve been all over the place. Not sure how Colorado Mike let this happen, but until PWI gets consistency from everyone, it’s going to be a long second half of the season. Today’s Feast needs to email me so I can learn who is on this team and what their deal is. I’m loving their consistency this season though. TODAY’S FEAST BY 1

 

Come From Behind vs Lets Get Reccked (+10) - If TMA didn’t exist, we’d just be talking about how CFB is walking to a title. They’re still a cut above the rest. They play great defense and they can score. Let’s Get Reccked can’t do either, but they lead D5 in injured shoulders, so that’s something. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Not So Sticky 38, Two Tuddies 27

Superior Moser Squad 26, Two Tuddies 20

Superior Moser Squad 41, Lenny’s Ladies 19

Blitzkrieg 21, Punt Cakes 0 (Forfeit)

 

Superior Moser Squad went 2-0 in pretty nice fashion. They came back from 20-0 down on the Tuddies to win at the end of the game, and then they beat Lenny’s Ladies in a game that saw a combined 6 women play QB for at least one drive. BK got a free win against Punt Cakes, and Not So Sticky defeated the Tuddies as well.

 

Championship Odds:

 

The Contenders:

 

Not So Sticky (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Superior Moser Squad (7-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (10-1)

Two Tuddies (13-1)

Punt Cakes (13-1)

 

The Season So Far: D6 is the most interesting division by far. All of these teams are closely ranked and any one of them can get hot and win the title. Not So Sticky is the favorite to win, but barely, as they can score AND possess some great football minds. Blitzkrieg has been in the mix to win D6 for 27 years, but their defense has never been this good. No Alex? No problem, as BK has been winning and winning. Superior Moser Squad is awesome, as they trot out two female QBs in Rylee and Lauren Moser. They’ve learned from one of the better minds in the league in Steve Moser, and it shows as they’ve cruised to a 4-2 record. Lenny’s Ladies is, as always, a very talented team when everyone shows up. They’ve had a lot of different QBs this year, and they’re enjoying a nice 3-3 season. At full power, they can beat anyone in D6. Two Tuddies got their first win ever in Week 1, and haven’t won since. It’s not for a lack of trying. They’ve lead in a few games and nearly every loss was a close one. They’re improving weekly. Punt Cakes is 1-5, but its the same story. Just about every loss has been within one score, and a play here or there means they could be 4-2 even.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Two Tuddies vs Punt Cakes (+3) - These two meet up for the first time since Week 1, where the Tud Buds got their first win. They’ll be looking for their second this time around. Punt Cakes is looking to prevent that. This game has some stakes as the winner has a better shot at finishing 5th and not getting one of BK, NSS, or SMS that miss the bye. TWO TUDDIES BY 8

 

Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+8) - These teams have had a fun rivalry for years now, and this season is no different. The Ladies took the first meeting this season, handing BK their only loss of the season so far. I expect revenge. BLITZKRIEG BY 8

 

Not So Sticky Vs Superior Moser Squad (+10) - NSS kind of figured out SMS in their first meeting, and I expect them to employ the same tactics this time out. SMS loves to use both women when throwing, but there’s a significant difference when Rylee throws than Lauren. If they want to win, they might just want to give Lauren the ball for this game. NOT SO STICKY BY 12

 

Not So Sticky vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - These two teams met once before and it was a 4 point game that was back and forth. Expect some fireworks and fun times. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

           

1. Will the weather change affect the teams? While I don’t expect too much change in how teams play, the sudden change into “fall” will cause some things to go a bit differently. Teams are used to playing in about 25 degrees warmer weather, and there should be more wind (in a season where I’ve been told we haven’t had ANY). Veteran teams and QBs should be fine, but some of the newer ones can absolutely struggle.
2. What are your picks for the division champions at the halfway mark of the season? D1: Tight Ends In Motion. D2: No Punt Intended. D3: Bullet Club. D4: Puckett All-Stars. D5: TMA. D6: Blitzkrieg.
3. What are the best “long shots” (10-1 or more) for each division? D1 - Sticky Bandits. They JUST went to the championship game, and there’s more evidence that suggests they’ll figure things out than not. D2 - Freeballers. These guys have all the talent in the world they just rarely figure out how to use it. If everything clicks, they have a shot. D3 - Can’t Touch This. They have the QB, and they have a couple of good guys. If the girls show more improvement they can absolutely repeat last season’s playoff success. D4 - ILF. They have the talent, and they have a proven QB. The defense is good. They just need to find a few more points on offense and look out. D5 - Passing While Intoxicated. I mean, I had to pick someone and they did shock the world last season. D6 - Lenny’s Ladies. They have a roster of some amazing women who have been playing well. They can be quite hard to match up with.
4. Current top seed most likely to blow it? The Cunning Stunts. I feel bad ripping on the girls, but they’ve constantly been a top seed at the halfway point only to not end up as champions again and again.
5. Who misses the playoffs in D4? That’s a tough one, but I think that TOX and Cobblestone will be the ones missing out when it’s all said and done.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

1. Breakfast Club is looking crazy. Two 4-0 teams. Two 2-2 teams. Two 0-4 teams. And they all play each other this week.
1. Amber Alert 42, Steph Infection 39
2. BDSM 44, Jennacide 33
3. Messy Jessies 37, Special Kay’s 36
2. I keep hearing more and more about the upcoming Halloween Bowl. It’ll be good to get everyone playing in costumes and having fun again.
3. Three teams that need a win: Practice Squad, Let’s Get Reccked, Travis Henry’s Kids
4. Please remember, email me about your team at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
5. We had a lot of TSLers at the Bills vs Rams game, I can only wonder how many are traveling to Miami this week. That should affect some games.
6. Games Of The Day:
   1. 9:00 - Amber Alert vs Steph Infection
   2. 10:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Bullet Club
   3. 11:00 - Two Tuddes vs Punt Cakes
   4. 12:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs No Punt Intended
   5. 1:00 - Travis Henry’s Kids vs Vaspian
   6. 2:00 - ILF vs Puckett All-Stars
   7. 3:00 - Get Schwifty vs Practice Squad
7. Please keep in mind that there can still be the possibility of a rainout week that will just push back the playoffs to 10/22 and 10/29.
8. More and more people are volunteering to referee to help out the league and its been going pretty well. I haven’t heard about too many costly mistakes. Good work everyone!
9. Special shout out to Garrett Beesing who’s been doing great things with the referee schedule and to Jeff Krol as well, as it’s been reported that he’s going a phenomenal job keeping things organized.
10. Except for one thing. We need to make sure games are running on time better for the rest of the season. One field being late can throw things off everywhere. Please try to get to your games early, they’ll be starting without you this week.

 

Just because the temperature is dropping doesn’t mean the TSL action on the fields won’t be getting hotter. We’re going to see some great games this week.

 

 

-GF OUT

week 4 thoughts, picks and insights

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 09 September 2022 15:36

Published: Friday, 09 September 2022 15:36

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 182

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Happy Friday to you all! Here we are yet again, together, on the final day before another exciting and entertaining Week of TSL football. Even though things are shaping up to be another beautiful TSL Saturday, the action on the field is still even hotter.

 

            I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but after this weekend, the TSL Fall2022 session is already just about half over. I know, I know, we don’t need to be thinking about such things yet, but it should serve as a warning to teams to start getting it together before it’s too late.

 

            For some (okay, just D3) there’s really nothing to play for in the regular season. All 8 teams make the playoffs, so that’s fine. But for the other divisions you’re either playing for a bye (D1, D2, D5, D6) or you’re playing to even get IN to the playoffs (D4).

 

            If the season ended today, Legends and Frodo Swaggins (see: The “stacked” teams) would have earned the single byes in D1 and D2. In D5, Come From Behind and TMA both have a comfortable lead already for the 2 byes. In D6, Not So Sticky and Blitzkrieg currently hold the byes, but D6 feels like anything can still happen, so don’t be surprised if one (or both) of these teams didn’t end up in this spot in October. As for D4, well, Cobblestone has an 0-4 record and are on the fast track to missing the playoffs. This team needs to stop letting Darryl Carr QB Superstar down. We know for a fact it isn’t Darryl’s fault. And there’s no telling who the other team to miss the D4 playoffs can be at this point.

 

Luckily for us, there’s a lot of football left, including this week’s fairly large slate of games. While we can’t really predict the future (okay, YOU guys can’t, I do it extremely accurately every single week, right here in this very article) we can sure comment on the past. So let’s do that.

 

GOOD NOT BAD

- Superior Moser Squad goes 2-0 with Lauren Moser throwing the ball. Potential “Future Baby Moser” already assumed to be going 1st Overall in 2046 NFL Draft.

- Come From Behind is just rolling, also going 2-0 as Paul LoVullo turns back the clock to look better than ever. PEDs and Stem Cells potentially to blame.

- Frodo Swaggins continues to enjoy unprecedented levels of success, but until they actually get a QB, nothing is guaranteed.

- Scared Hitless dusts themselves off after a slow start, Johnny Football leads them to 2-0 week and drags them back to a .500 record

- ILF continues to win, moving to 3-0 on the season and a Top 10 overall TSL Ranking, first time in team history, probably.

 

NOT BAD NOT GOOD

- Can’t Touch This gets a win, does so by only 5 against a shorthanded 716 team

- The Untouchaballs get a nice win against The Replacements, but blow the big one against Frodo Swaggins. Burr reported to look “very tired” after playing for Legends, could’ve been the difference against Frodo.

- Spinelli’s Plumbing puts up 44 points and is looking like the offensive juggernaut we all know and love, but they still wear those jerseys.

- Freeballers dominate Dubey-less DILFs, but go on to get smacked by Frodo.

- Eyes Downtown gets first win by beating Grey Hair Don’t Care, but proceeds to lose easily to Legends, further cementing everyone’s internal beliefs that it’s just about over for Bobby.

 

BAD NOT GOOD

- Cobblestone falls to 0-4, this season becoming complete opposite of last year

- Passed Our Prime goes 0-2, but didn’t get blown out, and showed a lot of competitiveness. Potential D1 Dark Horse?

- Tuddies and Punt Cakes both fall to 1-3 in D6, but still have those feel good vibes about them as they figure things out.

- Even with a win, Woodpeckers only have 28 points total scored over 3 games

so far, which is a good half for a lot of teams.

- People leaving more and more garbage on the fields, need to learn to pick up after themselves.

- Grey Hair Don’t Care.

 

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Legends 39, Passed Our Prime 33

Scared Hitless 44, Passed Our Prime 33

Eyes Downtown 48, Grey Hair Don’t Care 23

Legends 41, Eyes Downtown 26

Scared Hitless 57, No Punt Intended 48 (D1/D2 Crossover)

 

The Legends continue their D1 dominance, sneaking out a win against POP before smacking around Eyes Downtown. Scared Hitless has a nice week, going 2-0 on the day. Eyes Downtown gets their first win of the season, as Grey Hair still has some work to do, which is to be expected in their first D1 season.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Last year’s championship rematch renewed. These teams come in with a combined 6-0 record and both are looking really good so far this season. This will be a test to see just how much closer to Legends Sticky got. LEGENDS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs TIght Ends In Motion (+3) - Speaking of rivalries renewed, Sticky gets to jump right into the back half of a double header with the new (old) look TEIM. Tight Ends look so much more confident with Bro Klecker under center than they ever did last season, but there’s still some growing for them left to do. STICKY BANDITS BY 2

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+6) - I don’t know what’s wrong with Eyes Downtown this season, but jokes aside, you have to think they right the ship as soon as they can. Johnny Football should have his team ready to play against his old squad, and that internal knowledge leads to a mild upset here. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Games:

 

Eyes Downtown vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+13) - This game is being played at 9:00 this week, which must mean Bobby has a very important flag football game elsewhere he has to be at too. It shouldn’t matter. BVR hasn’t looked too great on the field yet, scoring only 39 points total in 2 games, and a D1 Crossover game won’t help them figure it out yet. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs The Untouchaballs (Even) - Despite Jeremy Burr letting his team down against Frodo, he’s going to be incredibly focused on getting this win. This will be the first look to see if UT can hang in D1 or not. Meanwhile, Tight Ends has something to prove after losing this crossover game last year to Scared Hitless. They don’t want to be the D1 laughingstock a second season in a row. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7

 

DILFs vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+3) - I’m not sure if the D1 team has been the underdog before, but Grey Hair hasn’t been playing their best (and I’m sure they’d admit it) this season at all. The DILFs have been chugging along of course, and they’re one of the top teams in D2 once again. Remember, the DILFs are a pseudo D1 team that just never moved up, so don’t ever sleep on them. DILFS BY 9

 

 

 D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 24, The Untouchaballs 22

DILFs 33, Buffalo Vice Retro 20

Freeballers 39, DILFs 20

Frodo Swaggins 31, Freeballers 20

The Untouchaballs 38, The Replacements 12

 

Frodo continues their hot start with two more wins, this time over Freeballers and The Untouchaballs. Both teams that would lose to Frodo would go on to get victories during the day as well, UT against The Replacements, and Freeballers over DILFs, with both going 1-1. DILFs would also go 1-1, beating Vice Retro before falling to Freeballers.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+10) - NPI is 0-1 after their first game that saw them in a shootout with Scared Hitless in D1. What we learned was that this team sure can score, and they didn’t have all of their weapons either. BVR, as we’re learning, can’t score, and that’s going to be an issue for them for the season. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 8

 

No Punt Intended vs The Replacements (+20) - Speaking of teams that are going to have issues this season, The Replacements seem to be in the wrong division (or so I hear), and unless they have the cavalry coming, this season my guess is this is going to be a season of growth for them. As long as they don’t get discouraged, they can learn the game a bit better and be prepared for next season. Trial by fire, I guess. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 15

 

Freeballers vs The Replacements (+14) - The Freeballers got their first D2 win when they dispatched of the DILFs last week. This is a team that has slowly grown and risen up through the ranks of each division over the years, and kind of deserve more credit for that. They’re 1-2, but those losses are to the most overpowered teams in the league. They get a small reprieve here…. FREEBALLERS BY 16

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - ….before having to deal with this. Back into the fire for Freeballers as they take on The Untouchaballs in what should be a big Game of the Day contender. This is appointment viewing for the TSL this week. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This 25, 716 20

Bullet Club 35, Practice Squad 17

716 42, Itches and Ohs 19

Mountain Dew Me 16, Get Schwifty 14

 

Can’t Touch This gets on the board with a win, which isn’t surprising. You can’t really keep this team down for long. Bullet Club continues their hot start, looking good in a win against Practice Squad to go to 3-0. 716 avenges their early loss, and beats up on Itches and Ohs to take a win, and Mountain Dew Me scores late to steal a win from Get Schwifty.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Itches And Ohs (+8) - SSS comes back after two weeks off to take on an Itches and Ohs team that is currently struggling to find their way. At 0-2-1, you know that the Ohs aren’t going to stay at the bottom of the standings for long, but this is a hard way to get a win. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 4

 

Bullet Club vs Itches And Ohs (+8) - The hits just keep on coming for Itches and Ohs as they get a double header against the early season Top 2 in D3. Bullet Club has been playing really well on both sides of the ball no matter who their QB has been, as Jeff Easton looked really good in his return to the fields. They’ve been getting plays from everyone on the roster, and it looks like the drop down to D3 was a good move. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Practice Squad (+8) - Practice Squad catches SSS on the back end of a double header as they look to get back into the win column after a rough game last week. PS can definitely keep up with SSS, provided B throws more passes in the end zone to his players than the other team’s players this week. This should be a good one to watch. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 3

 

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars 38, Buffalo Vice 34

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, TOX 31

Zack Attack 51, Vaspian 22

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 29, Travis Henry’s Kids 28

Cunning Stunts 42, Cobblestone 24

 

Puckett takes the win over Vice in what was an exciting game. Spinelli’s is back on track, scoring a bunch of points in a win over TOX. Zack Attack scores 51, which feels like it was supposed to be 15 and Topper messed up the number order. ILF takes a slim victory over THK, after apparently THK was too scared to go for two to get the win, and instead didn’t get the one to tie it. Finally, the Stunts put a hurting on Cobblestone, who are still struggling to figure it out this season.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Cobblestone (+6) - Travis Henry’s Kids are fine in D4. They’re 0-2 with two one point losses. It’s disheartening to hear that they played for the tie instead of the win against ILF, but the football gods figured that out for them. Now they take on a Cobblestone team with next to no direction. This is a big win for THK, who needs a feel good win at this point. Pistol Pete should eat up the Cobblestone D. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+2) - Spinelli’s is definitely on the verge of breaking the jersey curse, but it’s one thing to put up 44 against TOX and another to beat the Stunts. As usual, the Stunts are rolling out of the gate, they’re 3-0, and they’re almost in the cruise control that gets them to 7-2 and a 2 seed in the playoffs before turning it on. This game should be a fun shootout, and Spinelli’s has the women to keep up in the points department. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 1

 

Cunning Stunts vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - An old rivalry renews itself here as these two teams were going toe to toe in D4 just a year ago. It feels like longer. Vice is 0-2-1 but they’re scoring a lot of points, and if they can just shore up the defense a tiny bit, they’ll be right in the thick of things. The very shocking and unexpected Stunts going 0-2 in one week is here. BUFFALO VICE BY 7

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (EVEN) - The biggest question will be if ILF’s offense can keep up with Spinelli’s. While I think ILF’s defense will get a turnover, they may need two or more to really keep this close. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Vaspian (+8) - Every recent session, we’ve said the same thing about PAS: some form of “They just kind of hang around in the beginning of the season, get it together near the end of the season, and nearly win the thing as a 7 seed”. This season, however, PAS has decided to arrive early to the TSL party. They’re 2-1, and could easily be 3-0 if a bounce or two goes their way in the Stunts game. They look like they’re here to win D4 as a 1 seed this season. Vaspian hasn’t gotten off to their usual hot start, and can really use this game to get back on track, but the vibes on this game just feel one way. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Zack Attack (EVEN) - Let’s do this. These two teams aren’t rivals, but they could be after this weekend. We just gushed about how good Puckett has been, but what about Zack Attack? The offense is killing it, and they’re playing their usually dominant defense. You can’t find better ingredients for success than that. ZACK ATTACK BY 1

 

TOX vs Vaspian (+3) - Even with the losses, TOX has earned praise from their opponents along the way, which bodes well for them in the future. Vaspian hasn’t been their usual selves just yet on defense, which has been how they were winning games for a while. It all adds up to one thing: TOX BY 3

 

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 40, Woodpeckers 8

Come From Behind 46, Passing While Intoxicated 20

Woodpeckers 14, Let’s Get Reccked 12

TMA 27, Today’s Feast 14

 

Come From Behind proceeded to smack around the competition, going 2-0 on the day to set up a fantastic showdown with TMA, who also won their game against Today’s Feast. The Woodpeckers finally got their first win this season, sneaking by Let’s Get Reccked to go 1-1 on the day.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Woodpeckers vs Today’s Feast (+2) - Two 1-2 teams face off as both need this win to get back on track this season. 2-2 just looks so much better than 1-3, and these teams both know it. When it comes down it, Today’s Feast is playing slightly better defense, and has a slightly better offense, which logically means there’s only one way to pick this one. TODAY’S FEAST BY 8

 

TMA vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Here we go. ITS ON. Two 3-0 teams that have been playing absolutely lights out meet each other in what is absolutely a D5 Championship Preview as long as TMA doesn’t TMA all over themselves in the playoffs again. CFB is scoring slightly more points, TMA is playing slightly better defense, and its all going to come down to who blinks first. COME FROM BEHIND BY 1

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Superior Moser Squad 33, Punt Cakes 25

Not So Sticky 50, Lenny’s Ladies 16

Superior Moser Squad 33, Two Tuddies 28

Blitzkrieg 30, Two Tuddies 14

 

 

Superior Moser Squad takes two victories last Saturday before taking this week off apparently. Not So Sticky threw out QB Jeff Krol and had an easy time picking apart the Lenny’s Ladies defense to go to 3-0 on the season. Blitzkrieg handled the Tuddies pretty easily themselves, moving to 2-0.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+12) - The two longest tenured D6 teams meet up yet again, in a game that is always exciting no matter who wins. Right now, Blitzkrieg seems to be firing on all cylinders while the Ladies are still getting the new players acclimated to defense and what to do. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Punt Cakes vs Lenny’s Ladies (+6) - Punt Cakes already has a win over the Ladies from two weeks ago, and it's their only win of the season so far. PC definitely has some talented players on the team and they really just look like they’re still figuring it all out. Once they put things together, expect them to really make some noise in the division. PUNT CAKES BY 8

 

Blitzkrieg vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - Two undefeated teams that are looking to have the undisputed early claim to the D6 title throne face off here. It doesn’t seem to matter who throws for NSS, as anyone can apparently step in and do well. It’s the system here, and that’s not a bad thing. They’re a group of really smart football players (as any team with Jeff Krol will be), and it’ll be interesting to see how they matchup with a veteran team who can match them on the field. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. How will the teams look this weekend? There seems to be a higher than normal amount of people missing this week from their teams as people went to LA for the Bills game, and there seem to be a few weddings along the way too. How will this affect the games tomorrow? It’ll be interesting to see.
2. Who really needs a big week as we near the halfway point of the season? I think all eyes need to be on Itches and Ohs this week. They haven’t been themselves all season, and they have a HUGE doubleheader against the top two teams in the division. If they lose both of those, 0-4-1 is a tough record to look at.
3. What’s the biggest surprise of the season so far? I won’t pile on Cobblestone even more than I already have (but they’re 0-4 and that’s a shocker) so I’ll go with the Zack Attack offense that is just absolutely clicking at levels I can’t ever recall. They really seem to have it all together right now, AND they still represent at the bar.
4. Where has B’s brother been? It just isn’t football without Jeffrey walking the sidelines giving everyone amazing coaching for free. The biggest report I got this week from my spies was that B’s Brother wasn’t at the fields. Such a shame.
5. What team in each division that isn’t playing too well can turn it around and win the championship? D1: Eyes Downtown, and that’s pretty self-explanatory. D2: The only real option is Buffalo Vice Retro here. D3: The aforementioned Itches and Ohs. D4: Buffalo Vice. They’ve been close before and they can score for sure. If they fix that defense, look out. D5: Passing While Intoxicated. They started to make waves at the end of last season and in the playoffs, so we know they’re capable. D6: Punt Cakes. All of the athletic talent in the world. If they “figure it out” by playoffs, they can take the title.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. I haven’t heard about a single Breakfast Club Captains bet just yet. These new captains aren’t bringing the fun like the last group did. Someone needs to step it up.
2. Speaking of Breakfast Club, here are this week’s predictions:
1. Amber Alert 40, BDSM 24
2. Jennacide 30, The Special Kay’s 22
3. Steph Infection 47, The Messy Jessies 25
3. Here’s your best game of every hour schedule:
1. 10:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits
2. 11:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Spinelli’s Plumbing
3. 12:00 - TMA vs Come From Behind
4. 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless
5. 2:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs Zack Attack
6. 3:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Not So Sticky
4. Shout out to those people who have been picking up the bottles and garbage left behind by the TSLers at the end of the day. You guys are the real MVPs.
5. Reffing has been pretty great yet again. We’re getting more and more new refs to the fields and they’re not making a ton of huge mistakes. Extra props to the teams who have helped them along as they learn. We can’t have games without our refs, so good work to everyone who’s making them comfortable. For now.
6. I heard about the Halloween Tournament at the end of the podcast this week, and I think it’s a great idea to bring back something that the TSL used to have a bunch of fun with.
7. Three teams we need back in the league ASAP: Peachy Platoon, Matty’s Angels, Anything with Topper
8. Thanks again to those who have been emailing me about their teams, remember, you can take 5 minutes and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know about your team!
9. If you were hoping for Fall football weather this weekend, you’re not going to get it. Expect it to be a hot one again.
10. I’ve been hearing about lots of new players who are starting to thrive in the league. This is good news. The more we get fresh blood into the TSL, the better it will be. Now we just have to get them to stay at the bar for a bit longer. . .

 

 

Week 4 is upon us, and the TSL is in full swing. Good luck out there to all of the players, and maybe I’ll even stop by the fields this weekend. Who knows?

 

 

-GF OUT

Week 5 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 16 September 2022 11:59

Published: Friday, 16 September 2022 11:59

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 193

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I come to you with sad news. This Saturday, September 17th, in the Year of Our Lord 2022 will be Week 5 of the TSL season. While that news in itself isn’t a bad thing, it’s the knowledge that every week after this one will officially be the “second half” of the TSL season. We have half of a season left, and it really does feel like we just started.

 

At this point in the season, we can start to look at the standings and really see who the top contenders are for this year’s Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality are and what teams really need to make a few more tweaks if they have any hope at taking home the championship.

 

Week 4 brought us a ton of fun action under a blazing September sun (which it seems like Buffalo is shaping up for another 80 degree Saturday, get ready!) so let’s take a quick look at who’s trending where.

 

GOOD

            -Tight Ends In Motion go 2-0 on the day to wash the sins of the past season away yet again, setting up a mega match with Legends this weekend.

            -No Punt Intended wins both of their games to cement their status as a D2 contender.

            -Bullet Club goes to 4-0 on the season with a win over Itches and Ohs, despite John Langley’s best efforts to give the game away.

            -Puckett All-Stars move to 4-1 on the season, and have been on a tear since losing to the Stunts in Week 1.

            -Lenny’s Ladies sweep their doubleheader to go to 3-2 on the season, as D6 continues to look competitive from top to bottom

 

NOT BAD NOT GOOD

            -Itches and Ohs take down Scott Senior’s Starting before falling to Bullet Club to go 1-1 on the day against the top D3 teams

            -Cobblestone finally gets a win, but they’re still 1-4 on the season.

            -Vaspian loses to Puckett, but beats TOX soundly, and rumors are they get their QB back finally this week

            -Blitzkrieg loses to the Ladies, but takes a big win over Not So Sticky for the race for the bye week in D6.

            -D1 teams go 3-0 in the D1/D2 crossover games, which is just boring for everyone.

 

BAD

            -After a season opening win, Practice Squad has gone 0-3-1 and haven’t looked too great on the fields.

            -Sticky Bandits go 0-2, rumors begin to swirl that championship run was a fluke last season.

            -Jeremy Burr loses to Tight Ends, leaves fields before second game, Untouchaballs refuse to take the field without their previously fearless leader.

            -Buffalo Vice Retro goes 0-2 by a combined score of 85-12, causes Caitlyn Mason to slip in Best Female Rankings.

           

 

Like I said, a lot of stuff happened last week, and we didn’t even touch on all of it. Let’s get to what you’re really here for and talk about the games that will be played this weekend upon the hallowed fields of the Rose Garden tomorrow.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Legends 32, Sticky Bandits 24

Tight Ends In Motion 46, Sticky Bandits 32

Eyes Downtown 36, Scared Hitless 26

Eyes Downtown 54, Buffalo Vice Retro 0 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Tight Ends In Motion 49, The Untouchaballs 25 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Grey Hair Don’t Care 51, DILFs 35 (D1/D2 Crossover)

 

Legends and Tight Ends In Motion team up to put Sticky Nation back into “Little Brother” status in D1, and showing a clear line at who the main contenders for the D1 title are this season. Eyes Downtown proceeded to remind everyone who they are, scoring 90 points in two games and now find themselves in 3rd place. Grey Hair took my prediction of them losing last week to heart, and laid the smack down on the DILFs, proving along the way that the move up to D1 was the right one.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - Grey Hair did this last year: adjust to the new division, and then proceed to make some real noise in the second half of the season. They’re trending to be a tough out in the playoffs once again. Tight Ends In Motion, however, are still so incredibly hot since getting the band back together, and now with Robin back on the field (and arguably the defacto #1 female in the league instantly) they might not be stopped. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 13

 

Legends vs Tight Ends In Motion (EVEN) - Arguably the TSL’s two hottest teams face off in the biggest regular season matchup the Rose Garden has seen since Chris Cole retired. The road to the D1 championship, still the most coveted prize in all of Social Co-Ed Football in the world, goes through these two. The winner has the inside track at the bye week for the playoffs, but there’s so much more at stake. Game of the Day. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 2

 

Legends vs Scared Hitless (+9) - Scared Hitless has been playing better as of late, and they’ll be getting a Legends team that should presumably be leaving it all on the field in the game before this. That shouldn’t matter much though. The Legends are still very good, and SH isn’t on their level just yet. Yet being the key word there. LEGENDS BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (EVEN) - One team is trending up, the other is trending downwards. Right now, they find themselves right next to each other in the standings, and while both teams don’t NEED to win, they both sure could use one. Eyes Downtown has settled in after a slow start and they’re looking to keep the momentum. Sticky is just looking to stop the bleeding from last week and show that the only fluke was last week’s losses. Feels like we need a last play of the game scenario here.  STICKY BANDITS BY 1

 

D1/D2 Crossover Bonus Game:

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Passed Our Prime (+3) - Frodo has been on a tear this season, while POP is playing okay but still trying to really figure it all out in D1. That doesn’t make them less dangerous here, but the super advanced metrics I use here in Des Moines, Iowa trend towards Frodo making the leap and being the first D2 team to win a crossover game this session. Hogan is probably going to be furious, but, FRODO SWAGGINS BY 8

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended 31, Buffalo Vice Retro 12

No Punt Intended 44, The Replacements 22

Freeballers 61, The Replacements 0

 

No Punt Intended gets their first two wins of the season while Freeballers run up the score against The Replacements. Not much else to report here. D2 used to be fun.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice Retro vs The Replacements (EVEN) - Two teams that are a combined 0-9 on the year battle it out to see which team can accidentally score more to steal a win from the jaws of defeat. Neither team woke up on Week 1 of the season expecting to be here, but here we are. Both teams need this win desperately, just for morale purposes. That can only lead me to one logical conclusion here. BOTH TEAMS TIE.

 

DILFs vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - Pretty much the same as the last game, except these two have won a few games between them. A really even matchup that could produce a hell of a game if both teams have all of their players. DILFS BY 8

 

No Punt Intended vs Freeballers (EVEN) - The schedule makers did NOT mean for this to happen, but Week 5 in D2 is kind of awesome. Another marquee matchup for this week against some evenly matched teams here. Both teams are playing well and winning. Both teams can score a bunch. This should be a good one. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 5

 

DILFs vs No Punt Intended (+1) - Amazingly enough, this game couldn’t be considered “EVEN” by the oddsmakers. Both teams will be coming in hot after wins (probably), so give me the team with 47,350 more years of experience combined. DILFS BY 9

 

Freeballers vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+10) - Our first D2 mismatch of the day. The Freeballers have been rolling along largely due the play of their girls, especially Taila and Jessie. This makes sense, because the males on this team are the “Who’s Who” of nondescript regular dudes. It’s not that Buffalo Vice doesn’t have the players to win games, they just can’t seem to put it all together. This isn’t that time either. FREEBALLERS BY 18

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Itches and Ohs 39, Scott Seniors Starting 36

Bullet Club 13, Itches and Ohs 9

Scott Seniors Starting 46, Practice Squad 23

 

Not a lot of D3 action as we see Itches and Ohs hand SSS their first loss of the season, but they couldn’t give Bullet Club thiers as they go 1-1 on the day. SSS would go on to get their win back on the day over a Practice Squad team that has been all out of sorts lately, and Topper has told me he’s positive it’s all Kenny’s fault.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs 716 (+7) - Bullet Club comes into this game on a hot streak, pulling out a win over Itches and Ohs in a game that they were without Hughes, Pistol Pete, Gordon, and Easton last week. 716 hasn’t been too terrible since jumping up to D3 from D5, but they haven’t had a huge sample size just yet. This game provides their first real test. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

Practice Squad vs Can’t Touch This (+4) - We haven’t seen enough of Can’t Touch This this season, but so far the jump to D3 has been mixed. They suffered two early losses in Week 1 to BC and SSS, and won their last game against 716. Ryan is a handsomely talented QB with a really nice supporting cast (and those girls have come a long way from a year ago!), so the sky is the limit for them. Practice Squad is just all over the place. I don’t think anyone on PS is happy with their current results, and you know they’ll be working hard to fix it. This is the week. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Get Schwifty (+12) - Schwifty hasn’t shown D3 is the place for them just yet, and they’re looking more and more like they’ll be a D4 team in the spring every week. They still have time to rewrite their narrative though, as they’ve only played 3 games so far. Meanwhile the Keller clan keeps on doing what they always do. Play football, win games, and have Scotty Dro email me to tell me how they’re best at the bar (along with Zack Attack apparently). This one should be easy for them. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 15

 

Itches and Ohs vs Get Schwifty (+8) - Surprisingly, no referees have willingly stepped up to want to ref the Steve Moser vs Blase matchup just yet, and league officials can’t understand why. Jokes aside, Itches had a great win last week and they’re better than the 1-3-1 record suggests. They have talent everywhere, its a matter of getting people to show up and be on the same page. ITCHES AND OHS BY 5

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Mountain Dew Me (+6) - MDM hasn’t gotten a ton of games in just yet (only 3) so we’re still feeling out the comeback season. They’re still the *very* fast group of humans, but they’re not quite there with putting it all together. They lost by 10 to Practice Squad, and then beat PS by 1, and snuck by Schwifty by 2. Not the most impressive record yet. Playing SSS isn’t going to help that. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 10

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Cobblestone 27, Travis Henry’s Kids 7

Cunning Stunts 44, Spinelli’s Plumbing 40

Cunning Stunts 52, Buffalo Vice 32

Spinelli’s Plumbing 38, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 24

Puckett All-Stars 32, Vaspian 14

Puckett All-Stars 32, Zack Attack 31

Vaspian 22, TOX 0

 

Lots of D4 action last week that saw DARRYL CARR QB SUPERSTAR get his first win of the season over THK. The Stunts asserted their usual dominance, taking wins over Spinelli’s and Vice. Spinelli’s would go on to blow past ILF. Puckett continues their fantastic regular season with wins over Vaspian and Zack Attack. Vaspian would then go on to shut out TOX.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - Two big, rocket armed QBs face off in what should be just a high scoring, fun affair. Spinelli’s is about as .500 as you can get: 2-2-1, scoring 190 points and allowing 189. They’ve had a little bit of everything so far this season, but it feels like they’re starting to get dialed in. THK is 0-3 and currently in 10th place in D4, which means missing the playoffs. But two of those losses are by a point, and the other was last week where they didn’t have most of their team apparently. Bottom line: THK is fine. TRAVIS HENRYS KIDS BY 2

 

Cobblestone vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - While it was nice to see Darryl get his first win of the session, it’s still not hiding the fact that Cobblestone is only 1-4. They’ll need to string together some wins to really make me feel like they’re a contender. Vice isn’t having their best season ever either. Currently 0-3-1 and in 9th place, they really need this win to get into the playoffs AND take the tiebreaker over Cobblestone. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

 

Cunning Stunts vs Zack Attack (+3) - Both teams have been awesome so far this season. This potential D4 title game preview should be a must watch game (as all of the gender team games are anyway), as the Zack Attack defense (now paired with an offense!) looks to slow down the girls just enough. I have this feeling they’ll pull it out. ZACK ATTACK BY 2

 

Puckett All-Stars vs TOX (+13) - This game has all of the feelings of a nature show where you see a cheetah staring down a little bunny before it attacks. Puckett has been on fire all season, blowing up the narrative that they waltz through the regular season to turn it up in the playoffs of years past. TOX is more competitive than I anticipated this season, but they’re still staring a sub-.500 season in the face once again. If they’re true D4 contenders, they need to take this game. I don’t see it. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 11

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Today’s Feast 51, Woodpeckers 22

TMA 35, Come From Behind 34

 

Today’s Feast continues to improve, this time taking out the Woodpeckers along the way, who are struggling a bit. TMA takes a one point victory over Come From Behind, which is exactly the exciting game that was expected of these two.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Woodpeckers (+6) - I can’t ever figure out if PWI is good or not. Luckily, neither can they. They’re 2-3 with a -2 Point differential. But they’ve gotten smacked around by TMA, Come From Behind, and Today’s Feast while only beating Let’s Get Reccked who aren’t exactly world beaters just yet. Yet somehow they seem like they could be in the mix for the title if you sleep on them. The Woodpeckers have been plagued by some bad drops and roster issues all season. I’d give them more grief but the truth is that this is what they did last year before winning the D6 title, so I’ll let them do what they do right now. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Today’s Feast (+7) - Today’s Feast has quietly slid into 3rd place in the D5 standings, and while they’re trending upwards, this game is a real test for them. Come From Behind has been lights out all season (even in defeat) and Paul LoVullo has turned back the clock to 1963 when he first started playing QB. Yes, there’s a decent chance he invented the forward pass, and yes, there’s an even better chance he’s the master of it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

 

TMA vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Round two it is. TMA and CFB just had a classic game, so why not run it back? I don’t love that the schedule worked out this way, having these teams meet again so quickly, but it happens. Let’s go with the more intriguing scenario here. This time, CFB pulls it out. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

 

TMA vs Let’s Get Reccked (+12) - Tell me if you’ve heard this before. TMA is 5-0, clicking on all cylinders, looking to be the top seed in the playoffs and are the odds on favorite to win the championship. Yeah, me too. Sadly, even if you’ve heard this story 7 times already, 97% of the time it ends in tragedy. I think TMA has made the proper roster adjustments to be as dialed in as possible this season though. Let’s Get Reccked has a long way to go if they’re going to be taken seriously, as new teams need time to develop chemistry. They’re already really good at the bar though, so they’ve got Step 1 down at least. They’re not ready for TMA. TMA BY 17

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Lenny’s Ladies 41, Blitzkrieg 30

Lenny’s Ladies 34, Punt Cakes 22

Blitzkrieg 35, Not So Sticky 31

 

The TSL’s most competitive division stayed that way as Lenny’s Ladies had a big week in knocking off Blitzkrieg and Punt Cakes. BK would later go on to beat Not So Sticky in a battle of the division’s current top teams.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (+5) - Oh phenomenal. These two “rivals” meet on the field yet again, and you just never know what will happen. Sometimes they tie. Sometimes a female QB puts up 77 points. Mayhem. NSS won’t look as good because they’ll be sober (its an 11AM game) but they’ll still walk away with a big win. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

Superior Moser Squad vs Two Tuddies (+10) - The biggest issue the Tuddies are going to have against SMS is that they’ll struggle to keep up with the gender scores. The Tud Buds are still working in their new female players and getting everyone on the same page. That’s a lot different than a family team that’s done this for decades. SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 12

 

Superior Moser Squad vs Lenny’s Ladies (EVEN) - The Ladies had a great week to move to 3-2 this season, and SMS sits at 2-2 themselves. This should be a fun game for sure. But I think there’s one thing everyone wants this game. With Lauren or Rylee throwing for SMS, I think it would be awesome if Lenny’s Ladies had a female QB this week too. Let’s get an all female QB game going! SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 3

 

Blitzkrieg vs Punt Cakes (+5) - Blitzkrieg has been doing BK things so far this season, and it feels more like they’re fine tuning some stuff for the playoffs. Punt Cakes is still figuring out just about everything else. It usually takes a session to really get going in the TSL, so hopefully the Cakes aren’t getting too frustrated with the lack of results. BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. How do you feel about the Female Rankings that just came out? I’m not entirely sure they’re correct. I feel like they really got these ones wrong on the committee, and I was thinking that we should have the females themselves vote on it. Could you imagine that fun?

 2. Who are the most surprising teams so far this season? Puckett All-Stars have been tremendous this season. They’re not usually this good during the season and I love it. On the downside of things, Practice Squad is just all of out sorts right now and that’s a surprise too.

 3. Did you get your final final rosters in? Due to some new teams not understanding the rules, and some old teams being banana heads, The TSL opened up rosters for everyone to be able to add anyone that isn’t already on a team to their roster. You have until noon today (Friday) to do it, so hopefully if you didn’t see the email from Jeff Krol, you read this article early in the day.

 4. Are all players on two teams reffing? There are more than a few “notable names” on two teams this season that haven’t reffed at all just yet. Most of them are female players (and a bunch on the Top TSL Females list), but if they don’t referee they won’t be eligible for two co-ed teams next session. (They can still play on a gender team though). And I’m SURE there are a lot of males on two teams that haven’t reffed their games yet that won’t be eligible for two teams next season. Start getting your games in, don’t wait until the last minute!

 5. Can I be on the podcast? Yes! Of course! The TSL podcast is always looking for new guests each week, so if you want to be on just ask Jeff Krol, Joe K, Emily Schilling, or really anyone (if you don’t know who those people are) and they’ll direct you to them to get it set up.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 1. I really hope Tight Ends In Motion beats Legends this weekend, simply so that we can have a proper D1 title race.

 2. There are currently 6 undefeated teams left in the TSL so far. Legends, TEIM, Frodo Swaggins, Bullet Club, Cunning Stunts, TMA. Lots of long time TSL Franchises getting it done this season (and the Legends, who are just an All-Star roster of long time players so it’s basically the same thing).

 3. There are currently 5 teams without a win so far this season. Two of them are called Buffalo Vice in some way.

4. Here are the top games to watch this week:

1. 10:00 - DILFs vs The Untouchaballs
2. 11:00 - Legends vs Tight Ends In Motion
3. 12:00 - Freeballers vs No Punt Intended
4. 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
5. 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Passed Our Prime
6. 3:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Scott Seniors Starting

5. Fall Breakfast Club has been great to have, except it seems as though these captains aren’t doing any bets anymore, which was the best part. How weak is that? If you see Jessie, Kayla, Stephanie, Jenna, Becca, or Amber at the fields this week, make sure to boo them.

6. Speaking of Breakfast Club predictions:

1. BDSM 38, Messy Jessies 32
2. Amber Alert 40 Jennacide 32
3. Steph Infection 47, Special Kay’s 22

7. Once again, shout out to all of the referees who have stepped up to take some games and make life easy for Garrett. Coach Jay never had it this good.

 8. Yes, There will be a Winter League yet again. No, it won’t be at the Rose Garden’s new building since, well, you know.

 9. There needs to be a “Best New Players In The TSL” rankings list. If you know any players that aren’t getting the publicity they deserve, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. today!

 10. We really could use a TSL tournament at Rich Stadium sooner or later. It’d be a blast for sure. Just a thought.

 

 

-GF OUT

Week 3 Pickts, thoughts, questions and stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 02 September 2022 12:23

Published: Friday, 02 September 2022 12:23

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 203

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, it’s time. The winds have changed. The calendar has turned to September. The grass has slowly begun changing from green to brown. The temperature has dipped into the high 60s. That can only mean one thing: it officially feels like football!

 

Wait, what’s that? The temperature hasn’t even touched the 70s yet? Thanks a lot, Global Warming. The TSL had yet another scorcher for a “Fall” session this past weekend in Week 2 but other than what your nearest thermometer reads, it really is starting to feel like football season. Every team other than No Punt Intended has played at least one game (And three teams have already played 4!). Week 3 is always when the TSL season begins to show its true colors, as the teams begin to dust off the final remnants of summer vacation and we can see who they really are.

 

 

THE GOOD

 

            -Tight Ends In Motion have already scored more points in two games this season than all of last season, I think.

            -Sticky Bandits continue to be winners, going 2-0 to start the season, mostly because of Mary Poppins’ 3 TD performance and Drew did something too I guess

            -Vaspian comes roaring in to score 45 points, which I think is a team record

            -Light Red Hoodie Guy leads Blitzkrieg to victory

            -ILF makes big statement with two wins

            -TMA does TMA things, gets revenge for playoff upset

 

NOT BAD, NOT GOOD

 

            -Superior Moser Squad goes 0-2 (Bad) but Rylee and Lauren Moser both move to 1 + 2 on the overall “Moser Family Quarterback Rankings” (Good)

            -Multiple Ties happened this week, which is the definition of neither good nor bad

            -Ricky Recckio gets everyone playing flip cup at the bar (Good) but apparently bails on the podcast last minute to talk smack to entire league (Bad)

            -Topper showed up to play football in his new Ferrari (Good), Topper showed up to play football (Bad)

 

THE BAD

 

            -Cobblestone falls to 0-3, as every WR continues to let Darryl down, but with NFL cuts finally happening, the QB Superstar is looking to add talent

            -Hogan was at the fields

            -Practice Squad falls to their own hype, doesn’t win either game last week

            -Spinelli’s Plumbing wears terrible jerseys, proceeds to not win again

            -Scared Hitless and Grey Hair Don’t Care combine for a 1-5 record right now, trying to petition for a Division 1B to be immediately created

 

            Every TSL football season has a bunch of twists and turns as we traverse the next two months, it’s going to be interesting to see which teams stay on top, who rises up, and who inevitably falls on their faces. Let’s see what Week 3 brings us.

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 29, Scared Hitless 22

Sticky Bandits 48, Grey Hair Don’t Care 32

Passed Our Prime 36, Grey Hair Don’t Care 32

Tight Ends In Motion 31, Eyes Downtown 26

Legends 51, Freeballers 28 (D1/D2 Crossover)

 

Sticky Bandits return to action after last season’s championship loss, picking up two wins against the newly promoted teams from D2. D2 champs Passed Our Prime have no trouble winning their first D1 game over GHDC. Tight Ends puts Eyes Downtown in the loss column to start the season, further proving last season was a fluke. And the Legends manhandled (and womanhandled!) the Freeballers in a crossover game.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Passed Our Prime (+10) - Last season, Sean Weasel carried Hogan and POP to a championship in D2 for no reason other than it being the POP QB’s Make A Wish request. Now that the wish was granted, POP moved up, but they’re devoid of their big star. New superstars are emerging like “hat guy who caught the winning TD last week”, but this is the test to really see if POP can hang in D1, or if they’re pretenders like GHDC and Scared Hitless. LEGENDS BY 14

 

Passed Our Prime vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Johnny Football can NOT be happy with the start of the season for SH, and word is that he’s starting to lay in bed staring at a picture of Bobby McConnell and “what used to be”. But, there was a reason Scared Hitless was considered the best team to move up to D1 just a few months ago, and this is the week they remind everyone why. SCARED HITLESS BY 12

 

Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - I’m sure both teams will make this hard on each other and everyone will be in Grey. Bobby, wear the red. Anyway, there shouldn’t be very many “must win” Week 3 games but both of these teams could use one. GHDC really needs to avoid a 1-4 start, because a late season rally in D1 is a lot less likely, and if Eyes Downtown goes to 0-2, you can be sure that the team will be forced to run suicide sprints at the Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday practices next week for sure. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

 

D1/D2 Crossover Bonus Game:

 

Scared Hitless vs No Punt Intended (+8) - Well, NPI shows back up after not being around for a few seasons with a mostly new roster and their first game is against a ready to prove themselves SH squad. Not ideal for a first game for NPI. SH moves to 2-2 and quiets initial fears about a lost season. SCARED HITLESS BY 12

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games;

 

Frodo Swaggins 49, DILFs 32

The Untouchaballs 37, Buffalo Vice Retro 19

 

 

Frodo asserts their dominance as the overpowered D2 team, smacking the DILFs around pretty easily. But speaking of dominance being asserted, Jeremy Burr and the Untouchaballs picked up their first of many D2 wins this season, waltzing by BVR.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+3) - Frodo Swaggins couldn’t win D3 so they got a bunch of ringers and moved up to D2. The Untouchaballs just dominated D3 and moved up without having to stack a roster. Burr > Garrett. In a potential Game of the Day between two of the most fun teams in the TSL, who will come out on top? THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

DILFs vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+7) - Both teams are coming off of losses and they’re looking to correct their course. The DILFs have done this for years though. They have some fun, play competitively, but end up around 5-4 at the end of the season before really trying in the playoffs. BVR is still a new squad that needs to learn each other and figure things out. They’ll get there, but it’s going to take more than one game. DILFS BY 14

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+12) - The Freeballers continue to be unable to escape Sean Weasel’s shadow. Remember, Sean gifted them a D4 title before leaving them in the dust. Last week, as the Freeballers entered D2, they got to play Sean and the Legends. This week, Sean and the Super Frodos. If you ever wondered why 40 Year Plan Guy drinks, it’s stuff like this. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 16

 

The Untouchaballs vs The Replacements (+14) - As of right now, nobody is sure what to expect from The Replacements. Week 1 wasn’t kind to them, as they had to get a lot of Replacements of their own, so the TSL Universe isn’t sure what kind of team will show up on the fields this time around. We know what we’re getting from The Untouchaballs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 18

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Mountain Dew Me 33, Practice Squad 32

716 35, Itches and Ohs 9

Practice Squad 28, Itches and Ohs 28

 

I think we should just have a 7 game series between Mountain Dew Me and Practice Squad this season. Another tight football game that saw MDM pull out the victory this time. The new look 716 proceeded to march all over the Ohs. And we have our first tie in D3 this year, as PS and Itches both had 0-1-1 days last week.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

716 vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - Two pretty evenly matched teams that feature two of the best arms in the TSL to date. Ryan vs Derek should be appointment viewing, provided their WR make some catches. This could be a high scoring affair, but 716 has more Vosses (Vossii?) and that will be the difference. 716 BY 12

 

Practice Squad vs Bullet Club (+7) - The hits just keep on coming for Practice Squad, as Team Lantz runs into a veteran team in Suspect Club or whatever they’re being called that started off hot in D3, even with John Langley throwing the ball. BC looks to keep the good times rolling and PS looks to shake off the miscues from last week. Should be a good one. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

 

716 vs Itches and Ohs (+8) - Another one of the random back to back games against the same team move. One can only assume Topper was 4 bottles of wine into the schedule making when this happened. We just saw this matchup, and there’s nothing to suggest it’ll be different this time around. 716 BY 14

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Get Schwifty (+6) - MDM picked up their first win last week, and Schwifty is looking to do that themselves this week. There are going to be a LOT of athletes (and Blase) on the field in this game, and it’ll be a lot of fun to watch. It’ll come down to whether or not MDM can protect against Larry’s rocket arm deep balls. I think they can. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 2

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 54, Spinelli’s Plumbing 54

Zack Attack 36, Spinelli’s Plumbing 14

Vaspian 45, Buffalo Vice 23

TOX 45, Cobblestone 36

Interdimensional Lighting Falcons 21, TOX 13

ILF 26, Cobblestone 14

 

I set the Over/Under at 73.5 for Vice/Spinelli’s and the Over hit at 108 points. AND NOBODY EVEN WON THE GAME. Potentially the highest scoring tie in TSL history. Vice proceeded to prove they have no defense this season, allowing Vaspian to score 45 points when I’m pretty sure they average about 24 points a game. Spinelli’s would go on to show Zack Attack how tired they were from the first game, getting trounced 36-14 TOX comes out hot, beating Cobblestone and giving a good fight against ILF, who proceeded to go to 2-0 on the day and really make a claim at the D4 title that eluded them last season.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - In Week 1, PAS went 1-1 scoring a bunch of points along the way. In Week 2, Buffalo Vice went 0-2 scoring a bunch of points along the way. Expect another shootout, but PAS passed the eye test a bit better this season so far. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 4

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TOX (+5) - Okay TOX, I see you. League wide concerns about TOX potentially getting mauled every single week have been vanquished after last week, where they went 1-1 and earned praise from opposing players along the way. Spinelli’s still doesn’t seem to care about breaking the bad jersey curse, but it took them 14 seasons to learn from their mistakes in D6 before “figuring it out” then too. They’re just slow learners. But, even with that, They can score. A lot. Not sure TOX keeps up. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

 

Zack Attack vs Vaspian (EVEN) - These two teams tend to be more known for their defense than their offense. With that said, Vaspian’s offensive output last week could show the times are changing for the Hurley squad. Or, it’s because the Buffalo Vice Defense might be suspect. Zack Attack dropped 36 points of their own. Or, It’s because Spinelli’s is cursed. Either way, ZA’s Defense is still very good, and as long as everyone is on the same page offensively, expect the Attack to have another great day at the office. ZACK ATTACK BY 13

 

International Lightning Falcons vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - ILF had themselves a field day last week, and it compelled Andrew to email me about it. He really wanted me to stress that “Becca had a career high 7 catches, and only cried once!” before also applauding his teammates Karl Smith and Jason Neth for dual 2 TD performances. And he dropped this tidbit: Joe Miano won’t be there to QB, but B is going to throw for ILF. THK had last week off, and will be looking to grab their first win in D4. They lost by a point in Game 1, and that should only encourage them for this one. Should be fun. INTERNATION. . . ILF BY 3

 

Cunning Stunts vs Cobblestone (+10) - A classic QB matchup between Darryl Carr QB Superstar and Joey Batts. Both are legends of the TSL and it’ll be a blessing for anyone around to not only get to watch this game, but to get to watch it for free. The Stunts look to be as good as ever this season, while Cobblestone has (as one onlooker told me) “a bunch of athletes who just don’t understand the game yet”. A well oiled machine vs a bunch of spare parts doesn’t sound like a close matchup. CUNNING STUNTS BY 10

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated 30, Let’s Get Reccked 19

Let’s Get Reccked 43, Today’s Feast 12

TMA 42, Passing While Intoxicated 30

 

PWI took a win over LGR in a close contest that helped LGR move on to win their first game ever against Today’s Feast. PWI would then get beat by TMA in a “revenge” game from last postseason where PWI shocked the former McKenzie Agency in the biggest upset of the playoffs, which is the norm for TMA to be on the losing side of that statement, historically.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Woodpeckers (+8) - The Peckers didn’t get off to the start they would’ve liked in Week 1, as roster issues plagued them in a bad loss. CFB, however, looked great in their win and things are really coming together for them. After a rough start to the season last year, they’ve been consistently getting better. I have a good feeling about them this year. Apparently you CAN teach old dogs new tricks. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - It’s a compliment to PWI for them to be considered even with CFB. PWI has made some strides since Buddy Lee took over as QB, putting Colorado Mike on the bench where he belongs. Both of these teams are pretty good, and this will be fun to watch. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 13

 

Let’s Get Rocked vs Woodpeckers (+4) - LGR started to figure some stuff out last week, and if they didn’t erase those brain cells in the “after party” they should be looking at another win. They’re a good team for sure, they just need to gel together as all new teams do. LETS GET RECCKED BY 10

 

TMA vs Today’s Feast (+10) - TMA once again finds themselves ranked #1 overall in the TSL Rankings presented by TopperStats. It shouldn’t be a surprise. TMA was very good last season, and D5 didn’t get better around them. Ryan is already throwing lights out as he’s got all of his really talented tall guys back this year and reports are that Val Testa has been killing it this season as well. TMA is clicking on all cylinders for sure. Today’s Feast didn’t have the best game last week after an impressive start in Week 1, but I expect them to be a bit more competitive this game. TMA BY 12

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg 37, Superior Moser Squad 33

Not So Sticky 34, Superior Moser Squad 26

Lenny’s Ladies 20, Two Tuddies 12

Punt Cakes 34, Lenny’s Ladies 8

 

Blitzkrieg begins the “Light Red Hoodie Guy Throws A Bunch” Era with a victory over SMS. SMS would follow that close call with another one against Not So Sticky, who is thriving in D6. Lenny’s Ladies came out swinging, taking a win over the Tuddies before falling to Punt Cakes in the second game.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Punt Cakes vs Superior Moser Squad (+6) - Punt Cakes got an impressive win over the Ladies last weekend, as “Kid with kind of a mullet but looks super young BUT he got ID’d so stop asking Jeff Krol if he’s legal or not” was all over the field making plays. He looks like the real deal. SMS had a nice showing even in defeat as the Moser girls apparently took turns throwing the ball but both looked better than half of the QBs in the league already. PUNT CAKES BY 14

 

Not So Sticky vs Lenny’s Ladies (+8) - NSS is 2-0 and finds themselves in the driver’s seat for a first round bye already. Lenny’s Ladies have some new faces this season, and “tallish girl with the sunglasses” looked pretty good as did (unsurprisingly) Maddie Norton, who apparently was all over the field last week. This should be a good game between some fun teams. NOT SO STICKY BY 9

 

Superior Moser Squad vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - The Tuddies won in Week 1 and then looked a little lost in Week 2. SMS might be a “new” team with “newish” QBs, but they’re some of the smartest minds in the Social Co-Ed football game today, and that’s something the Tuddies will only get with time. SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 7

 

Blitzkrieg vs Two Tuddies (+10) - The Tuddies’ day doesn’t get any easier, as the longest running D6 team in Blitzkrieg stops by for a visit. I’ve been a huge BK supporter for most of my life, and this is really starting to feel like everything has lined up for this to be THEIR season. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. What looks to be the early season surprise? It’s looking like Cobblestone isn’t ready for D4, which makes no sense given how they handled D5 last season. TOX being nice and competitive is great for the league (and the bar).
2. Which team that got off to a slow start can turn it around? It’s early, so there are a few teams that this could be for, but I’m going to say Grey Hair Don’t Care. They’re 1-3. But last year they didn’t start great and figured things out. They’re slowly learning that in D1, the little mistakes you could get away with in D2 cost you points in D1. I think they’ll clean it up by the playoffs.
3.  Is Tight Ends Back Back? It’s hard to say right now, but any time TEIM has a pair of Kleckers, it's going to go much better for them. You can never say they’re “back back” because they lost some of the most talented females in TSL history, but they already look like the team that was battling Public Enemy for championships instead of losing to D2 teams last year.
4.  Is Frodo Swaggins too “overpowered”? That’s the hot topic of the early season. Garrett went all “Travis” and built a super team, just the D2 version of it. I think it’s a little overblown, and it’s magnified more than it should be because of the 65 point outburst against the Replacements Week 1. Let’s give it some more time before we get the pitchforks out.
5. Why did Topper buy a Ferarri anyway? Because he’s better than you. After years and years of dealing with the stress of running the league, he wanted to look even cooler as he rolls up to wineries and avoids the Rose Garden. He’s earned it.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. it’s still brutal that it’s going to be in the 80s for the fall session. But in a place that can snow at any given moment, continue to enjoy the nice weather while you have it.

2. Best Games To Watch This Week:

1. 10:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice
2. 11:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs
3. 12:00 - DILFs vs Freeballers
4. 1:00 - Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Eyes Downtown
5. 2:00 - ILF vs Travis Henry’s Kids
6. 3:00 - Cobblestone vs Cunning Stunts

3.  Breakfast Club Predictions:

1. Steph Infection 45, BDSM 42
2. Amber Alert 37, The Special Kay’s 20
3. The Messy Jessies 40, Jennacide 30

 

4. If you haven’t signed a waiver yet this year, go do it right now so you’re not ineligible for the rest of the season.

5. I’ll say it again, take a few minutes out of your day and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so I can properly give shoutouts to the people I don’t know about on your team. It’s hard doing this from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa.

6.  Reports are that we’re leaving a little too much garbage around the fields. Pick up your trash and bring your used buckets back to the bar. It’s not that hard. Shoutouts to everyone that helps out weekly by throwing out other people’s things.

7.  Lots of good words have been emailed to me about how well a bunch of the newer refs are doing. Keep it up!

8.  If anyone would like to be on the podcast, write an article, or contribute to the various shenanigans the TSL has to offer, reach out to Jeff Krol, Travis, or Joe K whenever you see them. The more the merrier.

9.  I wonder who the current “Chris Nelson Award For Playing In A Division Way Below Your Talent” winner is?

 10. Go Bills.

 

 

 

 

The TSL Fall 2022 season is really starting to heat up. Go out there and have some fun, and report it back to me asap.

 

 

-GF OUT