WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF... AGAIN

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 01 May 2026 12:53

Published: Friday, 01 May 2026 12:53

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 254

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, what an amazing and exciting Week 1 we had here in the TSL! It was a Week 1 for the ages, featuring some amazing twists and turns we absolutely didn’t expect. In fact, after just one week of TSL action, we can truly see just how much fun and unpredictable this season is going to be. Here are some early season truths that came out of Week 1: 

 

-This is now the latest point in any season that the Freeballers are at least tied for first in D1, proving Buddy Lee really can do anything

-Brent McKenzie is tied for the lead in touchdowns this season not only in D6, but in the ENTIRE TSL!

-Not a single person fell into the pit

-B’s Brother (Yes, THAT B’s Brother) is tied for the league lead in sacks

-Joey Batts didn’t throw a single wobbly pass

-I didn’t get a single prediction wrong

-Andrew Kicak is tied for, statistically, the worst player in the league in every single advanced metric. 

-Garbacz didn’t mess up a single call the entire day

Like I said, these are incredible facts that can only point to this being the best season of TSL football to date. 

Okay, fine. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you should be well aware that one of the greatest days on Earth, TSL Opening Day, was rained out. It was about 10:30 my time when I finally texted Jeff Krol to see how the games were going, only to get a quick phone call right away. He explained how there wouldn’t have been enough fields to play on, as some were very unsafe due to standing water, and the fields that were good enough to use would’ve gotten destroyed on Day 1. A decision had to be made, and even though the answer to “What Would Lenny Do?” feels like he’d have said ‘The Show Must Go On’, the more people I talked to all tended to agree (begrudgingly) that this was the right call. 

 

So with this negative, comes a positive: WEEK 1 PART TWO. 

 

That’s right! It’s Friday, you’re finally excited because Jeff got around to posting the most must read article in the history of Social Co-Ed Touch Football, and those butterflies are BACK. And not just the regular butterflies you might get before a game, but the ones you get before a new season starts. It’s already May, but you have a clean slate in front of you. You’re going to get to see all of your friends you haven’t seen in awhile. The smiles and hugs you were pumped for you can once again be pumped for. Of course you didn’t take the extra week to practice plays, throw the ball around more, or do anything that could have remotely helped you and your team as a whole this season, but none of that matters because the thrill of a new season is here again! 

 

But it’s even better! Why? Because this season will ALSO kick off with BREAKFAST CLUB GAMES! Usually, Breakfast Club starts a week later than the regular season in order to make sure that Week 1 goes smoothly, and that the super kool shirts you get for participating in BC come in (We’ve had BC’s in the past where they were delayed for a week and it was super lame.). 

 

Now, you might be reading this and thinking to yourself ‘Oh wise Godfather who is most certainly not a Keller - I’m new to this league/I joined this league in the fall last session (remember, there was no Breakfast Club last fall!): what is Breakfast Club anyway?

 

Breakfast Club is the super fun draft league where you can sign up, and get drafted to a team of fellow TSLers as you race towards Immortality with a roster of teammates that you normally don’t get to play with. Every game is at 9am, you get a cool TSL shirt that you’ll end up wearing a million times until you die, and it really helps you meet new people in the league and make new friends too. It was originally a way to get players a second game during the day, as the founders of this league used to limit you to one team (ladies could be on one Co-ed team and one gender team) per session. Back then, people didn’t jump around rosters nearly as much as you’re used to seeing now. We essentially started the transfer portal era before college football did, those copycats. 

 

Anyway, for a time we had the top male players who signed up for BC be the captains, and then it became quarterbacks for a time, but eventually Topper settled on making the captains all females, and it totally had nothing to do with the fact that he started doing the draft during a limo bus wine tour with the captains. Nope. 

 

However, it was a stroke of genius, as the captains started making bets and really doing some fun things to get their team motivated to win each week. BC is a ton of fun, and we’ve seen some of the best TSLers in league history be a part of it. And to make it even more fun, the TSL BOD shook up the captains a little bit this time around. As usual, Steph is here as arguably the greatest GM in Breakfast Club history. I’m not 100% certain, but it feels like the next two captains: Drunk Meg and Carly, have been captains before. And then we have three brand new captains who have a lot to live up to: Jill, Bridget (yes, the QB one), and Paige are all captaining for the first time, so hopefully they leave their legacy in Breakfast Club history a fun one, complete with bets each week on the games (even something as simple as mimosas for the winning team is a good start, but so is “have to wear the Elmo costume and park cars for an hour”). 

 

If that sounds like fun to you, you should’ve signed up when Jeff asked 47 times from February-April. 

 

Breakfast Club really puts the “Social” in Social Co-ed Touch Football. It’s definitely worth trying once. Maybe twice. You’ll just have to wait until the next draft. 

And now, the reason you’re all here and you skimmed through everything I’ve said so far: the predictions. Let’s get on with it. 

 

(As always, the following odds and spreads are brought to you by the Topper Super Computer AI Network.Yes, it’s probably spying on you right now.)

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Freeballers 21, Sticky Bandits 0 (Forfeit, according to Facebook)

 

All other games postponed

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS LEGENDS (-4) - Things I know: Eyes Downtown practiced and planned all offseason in an effort to win the D1 championship. Things I’m pretty sure of: Legends didn’t think about football for most of the offseason if at all. Things I think: LEGENDS BY 8

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (-3) - One thing’s for sure, this game would’ve been a little better with a game last week under their belt. Sticky has to incorporate some new pieces still, ED shouldn’t have to worry about that. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

 

THE MALONES VS WHAT A DUMP (-6) - The Malones COULD be the most fun story of the season if they can compete at the D1 level. They already have the D1 blueprint - loud, yell at each other, yell at the other team, yell at the refs, and be pretty damn good at football. They just have to put it together. What A Dump came on during last season, and there’s no reason to think they didn’t get closer to the top. WHAT A DUMP BY 1

 

FREEBALLERS VS MAVERICKS (-6) - Two teams that have a lot to prove here. Freeballers have been waiting to finally find the right QB to lead them to the promised land of two wins in a season, and they thought they had one in the guy that’ll be suiting up across from them for the Mavs in Jordan. But he had to go win D2 back to back and move up into D1. The Mavs had some good moments a season ago, now it’s time to put things together. MAVERICKS BY 4

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Postponed. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

BUFFALO VICE VS D-GENERATION XYZ (-6) - The D3 champions who moved up to D2, and the D3 team that just said screw it and moved up anyway. Should be quite the battle as both teams look to find their footing in D2. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 3

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS JABRONIES (-2) - This feels like a hell of a game is on the way here. Both teams were quite good last season, and the Jabronies really came on strong at the end of the season. I’m not entirely sure who will win, but I’d bet the over. JABRONIES BY 3

 

FRODO SWAGGINS VS JABRONIES (-3) - Interesting that the Super Computer AI thinks the Jabronies should be favored over Frodo in this one, but it’ll be a close game regardless. I think Frodo gets lucky with the Jabronies already having played a game, and what will probably be a tough one at that. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 2

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Postponed. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

BULLET CLUB VS ISH (EVEN) - Last year, when ISH was ILF, these teams played some great games against one another. Even if some of the names have changed, the core remains the same, and I think we’re going to see another battle here that comes down to the end. ISH BY 2

 

BULLET CLUB VS LET’S GET RECCKED (-5) - While I’m not sure what version of LGR we’re going to get, it may work out for them regardless getting a BC team that already played once in the day. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS WANDERERS (-4) - While this matchup usually results in an easy “Game of the Day” hype decision, the biggest question is on what this altered version of the Wanderers can do. The Stunts, however, are still superstars. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

TWO TUDDIES VS WANDERERS (-3) - The Two Tuddies continue their climb up the TSL’s Divisions even without winning championships, as they thirst for greater competition. Or more than likely (as is often the case with this) it’s a way to appease the good players who want to play tougher competition. Well, they get it off the bat. Already having played a game probably helps the Wanderers here. WANDERERS BY 4

 

BQI vs PRACTICE SQUAD (-2) - Bridget begins her D3 QB career taking on the only other QB she can match in arm strength in B. Yes, that entire line was simply to mess with B, and I know it worked. Anyway, BQI made a hell of a jump, and even if the roster is a bit better, it remains to be seen how far the QB can take them. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Postponed. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

FLYING BALLS VS TATER TOTS (-4) – One of the worst things about last week’s rainout was that it made us wait one more week before the return of the Tots. Again, it never seems to matter that they take the Fall Session off. The Flying Balls took the league by storm last session, they jumped up two divisions, and there is zero reason to think they can’t win D4. This will be a good one. FLYING BALLS BY 8

 

COBBLESTONE VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (-5) - Our first look at the Coochies as they get the old gunslinger to start their existence here in the TSL. However, just by looking at the roster, it seems like they’ve been around a time or two here. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

 

NOT SO STICKY VS PUCKETT (-2) - Puckett remains one of our oldest franchises at this point, it feels like they’ve been around forever. They’re always consistently good, and a threat for the championship. NSS tends to struggle on offense, especially early on in a season, as they work in new players, and that won’t help them here. PUCKETT BY 10

 

BALLS DEEP VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (-7) - Balls Deep sure have come a long way from where they were when they first started, and they just keep getting better. It’s never, ever easy to play the PPGs, (half of the team is on the IR, so we aren’t quite sure what we’re going to get from them this season) but this is the right time to make a statement regardless. BALLS DEEP BY 14

 

SHOW ME YOUR TDS VS MIKE’S DETAILING (-6) - SMYTDs (Not THAT one) is a newer team that we don’t quite know what we’re going to get yet. Mike’s Detailing has been on the cusp of TSL glory for a little bit now, will this be the season they put it all together? Maybe. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 8

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Postponed. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

BIRDS OF WAR VS PIT HARADE (-3) - Pit Harade finished last session pretty strong after a slow start, and they’ll be looking to continue that momentum against the brand new Birds of War team that didn’t lose either game in their doubleheader from last week! They could be very good, they could struggle early as they adjust to the TSL game, we just don’t know yet. PIT HARADE BY 1

 

MO’ CHICKEN VS BLITZKRIEG (-9) - Spring Blitzkrieg (doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Fall BK) should be D5 favorites, and they shouldn’t have an issue with MO in this one. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

 

SBG VS WET BANDITS (-8) - Two teams we really don’t know a whole lot about getting to face off, and it’s amazing that one team is favored by 8 over the other here. I don’t make the rules, but I WILL be keeping an eye on this game. The D5 Champions of the future could very well be playing in it. WET BANDITS BY 2

 

716ERS VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (-4) - Some of the best jerseys in the TSL take the field yet again as the McMuffins get to play the brand new 716ers. It’ll be fun to see how the new team stacks up against the savvy old vets, but I’m confident Alex will have SMM ready to go. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

BLUE BALLERS VS COME FROM BEHIND (-3) - The Blue Ballers LOVE to score points but CFB is very good at preventing that while scoring a bit on their own. Not sure who is going to blink first here, but it’s a very good test for both teams. BLUE BALLERS BY 3

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Postponed. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS TMA (-3) - TMA and TSL TD Co-Leader Brent McKenzie come into Clown Town to put up a dub against IC. The only real consistent thing we’ve seen from IC right now is their team name (they used to change it every season, trust me this is funny), so I’m interested to see what version of them we’re going to get this season. TMA BY 8

 

STICKY LACES VS IRISH GIANTS (-4) - The Irish Giants really came on strong to end last season, even if it ended in disappointment. I want to believe they’ll be keeping that momentum going into the Spring here. Sticky Laces have consistently been up and down, with the latter being what we see more often. IRISH GIANTS BY 9

GF VS GPT 

 

Well, that rainout really ruined this bit for this week. Not surprisingly:

The Godfather: 0-0
Topper’s Super Computer: 0-0

 

Here are the Week 2 picks from our future overlords: 

 

Eyes Downtown vs Legends (-4) — LEGENDS BY 6
Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (-3) — STICKY BANDITS BY 4
The Malones vs What a Dump (-6) — WHAT A DUMP BY 3
Freeballers vs Mavericks (-6) — MAVERICKS BY 8

Buffalo Vice vs D-Generation XYZ (-6) — D-GENERATION XYZ BY 7
Can’t Touch This vs Jabronies (-2) — JABRONIES BY 3
Frodo Swaggins vs Jabronies (-3) — FRODO SWAGGINS BY 5

Bullet Club vs ISH (EVEN) — BULLET CLUB BY 3
Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked (-5) — BULLET CLUB BY 9
Cunning Stunts vs Wanderers (-4) — CUNNING STUNTS BY 6
Two Tuddies vs Wanderers (-3) — TWO TUDDIES BY 5
BQI vs Practice Squad (-2) — PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

Flying Balls vs Tater Tots (-4) — TATER TOTS BY 3
Cobblestone vs Coochie Monsters (-5) — COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 6
Not So Sticky vs Puckett (-2) — PUCKETT BY 4
Balls Deep vs PowerPuff Girls (-7) — BALLS DEEP BY 10
Show Me Your TDs vs Mike’s Detailing (-6) — MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7

Birds of War vs Pit Harade (-3) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 5
Mo’ Chicken vs Blitzkrieg (-9) — BLITZKRIEG BY 13
SBG vs Wet Bandits (-8) — SBG BY 9
716ers vs Sausage McMuffins (-4) — SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 3
Blue Ballers vs Come From Behind (-3) — BLUE BALLERS BY 6

Intentional Clowning vs TMA (-3) — TMA BY 5
Sticky Laces vs Irish Giants (-4) — IRISH GIANTS BY 6

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS

 

Eyes Downtown vs Legends
Spread: Legends -4
Moneyline: Legends -180 / Eyes Downtown +150
Over/Under: 61.5

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
Spread: Sticky Bandits -3
Moneyline: Sticky Bandits -160 / Eyes Downtown +135
Over/Under: 60.5

The Malones vs What a Dump
Spread: What a Dump -6
Moneyline: What a Dump -240 / The Malones +190
Over/Under: 58.5

Freeballers vs Mavericks
Spread: Mavericks -6
Moneyline: Mavericks -240 / Freeballers +190
Over/Under: 57.5

Buffalo Vice vs D-Generation XYZ
Spread: D-Generation XYZ -6
Moneyline: D-Generation XYZ -240 / Buffalo Vice +190
Over/Under: 55.5

Can’t Touch This vs Jabronies
Spread: Jabronies -2
Moneyline: Jabronies -130 / Can’t Touch This +110
Over/Under: 54.5

Frodo Swaggins vs Jabronies
Spread: Jabronies -3
Moneyline: Jabronies -150 / Frodo Swaggins +125
Over/Under: 56.5

Bullet Club vs ISH
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Bullet Club -110 / ISH -110
Over/Under: 53.5

Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked
Spread: Let’s Get Reccked -5
Moneyline: Let’s Get Reccked -210 / Bullet Club +170
Over/Under: 55.5

Cunning Stunts vs Wanderers
Spread: Wanderers -4
Moneyline: Wanderers -180 / Cunning Stunts +150
Over/Under: 52.5

Two Tuddies vs Wanderers
Spread: Wanderers -3
Moneyline: Wanderers -150 / Two Tuddies +125
Over/Under: 53.5

BQI vs Practice Squad
Spread: Practice Squad -2
Moneyline: Practice Squad -130 / BQI +110
Over/Under: 52.5

Flying Balls vs Tater Tots
Spread: Tater Tots -4
Moneyline: Tater Tots -180 / Flying Balls +150
Over/Under: 58.5

Cobblestone vs Coochie Monsters
Spread: Coochie Monsters -5
Moneyline: Coochie Monsters -210 / Cobblestone +170
Over/Under: 57.5

Not So Sticky vs Puckett
Spread: Puckett -2
Moneyline: Puckett -130 / Not So Sticky +110
Over/Under: 59.5

Balls Deep vs PowerPuff Girls
Spread: PowerPuff Girls -7
Moneyline: PowerPuff Girls -300 / Balls Deep +225
Over/Under: 61.5

Show Me Your TDs vs Mike’s Detailing
Spread: Mike’s Detailing -6
Moneyline: Mike’s Detailing -240 / Show Me Your TDs +190
Over/Under: 58.5

Birds of War vs Pit Harade
Spread: Pit Harade -3
Moneyline: Pit Harade -150 / Birds of War +125
Over/Under: 57.5

Mo’ Chicken vs Blitzkrieg
Spread: Blitzkrieg -9
Moneyline: Blitzkrieg -375 / Mo’ Chicken +260
Over/Under: 60.5

SBG vs Wet Bandits
Spread: Wet Bandits -8
Moneyline: Wet Bandits -320 / SBG +240
Over/Under: 56.5

716ers vs Sausage McMuffins
Spread: Sausage McMuffins -4
Moneyline: Sausage McMuffins -180 / 716ers +150
Over/Under: 54.5

Blue Ballers vs Come From Behind
Spread: Come From Behind -3
Moneyline: Come From Behind -150 / Blue Ballers +125
Over/Under: 59.5

Intentional Clowning vs TMA
Spread: TMA -3
Moneyline: TMA -150 / Intentional Clowning +125
Over/Under: 50.5

Sticky Laces vs Irish Giants
Spread: Irish Giants -4
Moneyline: Irish Giants -180 / Sticky Laces +150
Over/Under: 49.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

- WILL THE GAMES THAT WERE RAINED OUT BE MADE UP? - Easily the biggest thing I was emailed about this week were people’s concerns (understandably) about when or if the games will be made up. And honestly, the league isn’t sure yet. A lot will depend on the availability of the 5th field each week and what teams will be able to play. Maybe we play some special Thursday night games or something. Stay tuned on that. 

- WHY NOT JUST MOVE EVERYTHING BACK A WEEK THEN? In a perfect world, this would be the move, however for those who mentioned this but didn’t actually check the calendar: The Saturday after the scheduled Championship Week is the 4th of July. Clearly we aren’t playing on the holiday, and even if we did many, many teams would end up having players missing, and it wouldn’t be an accurate representation of who the actual champions are. Nobody wants to see Immortality Achieved by a team who simply got lucky that they had the least amount of teammates that couldn’t make it. 

- THEN WHY START THE SEASON SO LATE? The season started earlier in the past, yes. But Topper wisely moved the start date back because all too often the first two weeks of the Spring session were freezing and nobody wanted to play in that. We’ve had Breakfast Club start off Week 2s in the past at 9am in the snow. Starting when we do now maximizes the May/June Saturdays which is much more preferable overall. 

- OKAY FINE THEN WHY NOT JUST MOVE IT BACK A WEEK AND MAKE JULY 4TH A BYE WEEK AND PLAY AFTER THAT? Because any league that would even consider that is a joke. The two week stretch of playing the playoffs is a grueling, anything can happen test that determines true champions. Giving two weeks between playoff games is just weak, ruins any momentum teams might have earned, and that gets us right smack dab into vacation season for a lot of people, which brings us right back to not rewarding teams with championships simply because they had less people on vacation.  

- ALL OF THIS MAKES SENSE, OKAY. BUT DOES HAVING A CONSISTENT FIFTH FIELD MEAN WE CAN MOVE OUR GAMES UP AND NOT HAVE TO PLAY AT 3? In a word, no. That would mean having to get two more referees on that field, AND getting your opponents to agree to moving the game time, AND needing to get a time that works where someone isn’t playing/reffing at that time already, AND needing Jeff Krol to approve it because it’d be a headache for him, AND you can’t ask about making up the Week 1 games and then try to take away the means for doing so, AND if the plan to rotate which four fields are used throughout the season in an effort to reduce wear and tear on them comes to fruition, this goes against that (so does the makeup games, sure). The point is, don’t be difficult. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Megoonsta’s 32, Fittsmagic 20

• Water Under The Bridget 34, On A Rampaige 30

• Steph Infection 37, Total CARnage 36

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Championship Prediction: Steph Infection over Megoonsta’s. 

 

 

 

• It’s going to be 65 degrees on Saturday. However, that’s here in Des Moines. In Buffalo, you’re looking at just under 50 degrees, but at least it’s not raining? 

 

 

 

• REMEMBER THAT PARKING IS GOING TO BE LESS THAN GREAT SO SHOW UP EARLIER THAN YOU USUALLY WOULD FOR YOUR GAMES. THE REFS WILL NOT WAIT TO START GAMES JUST BECAUSE YOUR QB HAD TO PARK FAR AWAY BECAUSE THEY “DIDN’T KNOW”. 

 

 

 

• Yes, you CAN email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I appreciate anything you want to say, comment on, teammate hype ups, whatever you’ve got. 

 

 

 

• If you’re not sure what color your opponent is wearing, have everyone bring a second color shirt just to be safe that you’re not scrambling to find something to change into when you’re both wearing black. It’s the little things. 

 

 

 

• Things will more than likely be muddy, messy, and annoying as this will essentially be the league’s “test run” to see how things flow with all of the construction of the TopperDome going on. Even with the excitement of the return of TSL football in your hearts, tensions will still be a little higher than normal. Don’t take it out on others: Be it opponents, referees, or especially at the bar. 

 

 

 

• GAMES OF THE DAY: 

• 10:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

• 11:00 - Flying Balls vs Tater Tots

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Jabronies

• 1:00 - The Malones vs What A Dump

• 2:00 - Blue Ballers vs Come From Behind

• 3:00 - BQI vs Practice Squad

 

 

 

• MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR WAIVER SIGNED OR YOU CAN’T PLAY: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit Just click the link and fill it out fast. It takes 10 seconds. 

 

 

 

• It might have taken an extra week, but the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality FINALLY begins! This is everything you’ve been waiting for and then some. When your moment arrives, will you be ready to capture it? Or just let it slip? 

 

 

-GF OUT

 

CHAMPIONSHIP THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 17 October 2025 19:03

Published: Friday, 17 October 2025 19:03

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1393

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the day that you all have been waiting for is finally here: Championship Saturday. On Saturday, October 18th in the Year of Our Lord 2025, the 24 TSL football franchises that survived Playoff Saturday will descend upon the Leonard T. Alba III Fields at the Rose Garden to finish what they started back in August: Winning the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. 

How you’ve ended up here simply doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that you’re here, and you have a chance (or two!) at earning Immortality and putting your name down in history forever. Only six of these teams will meet their goal. The other 18 will once again have to wait until the Spring for their next chance at it, as they painstakingly go over every dropped pass, every overthrow, or every time they got burned on a route OR that time that if they were a split second earlier, they could’ve made a big play. Some of you will talk about it in therapy for weeks, maybe months. Maybe forever. From 10:00am until 5:00pm, every play a TSL player makes (or doesn’t make) will change the trajectory of TSL history. You better be at the top of your game. You better be prepared. 

 

And as for the 25 TSL franchises that met their end last week, we thank you for your service. We know you gave it your all (unless you were the Freeballers or Come From Behind, who forfeit like cowards before the games even played, OR apparently Sticky Laces, who WON their first round game, and THEN forfeited so they didn’t have to play The Chargers, who I guess showed up to the fields for no reason? That’s extremely weak, for the record.) and while you’re licking your wounds this offseason just remember: There’s always next year. 

 

We are merely a short time away from discovering just who the six greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football teams in the world are. The pressure is mounting, and the excitement is building. There is NOTHING quite like Championship Saturday in the TSL. Who are going to be the ones that spray the champagne? 

 

Playoff Saturday brought us its usual chaos, as was to be expected. Like I said, we had three forfeits, teams going for two and winning at the end of the game (DXYZ), teams going for two to win and losing (Cobblestone), we had our customary upsets (#7 Mavericks winning in overtime, #6 Pit Harade taking down BQUIT), we had ejections, we had teams combine for 100 points (ILF 60 - Vice 40), we had teams get shutout (Four Tuddies), we had top contenders barely escape (Flying Balls 30, Select 29), and we had old favorites reemerge (Can’t Touch This 47, Scared Hitless 26), and of course we had D6 having to apparently play in a monsoon? We had a bit of everything, which is why Playoff Saturday is one of the best sports days of the year. 

 

Championship Saturday will have its own chaos of course, but the stakes are much higher and the buttholes are more tightly clenched. We won’t see every division go chalk, and the mystery of what #1 seeds will lose is always exciting. What unexpected team will rise up and take the title? 

 

Well, what’s what I’m here to tell you. And, as usual, I’ve reached out to the TSLQBPRC to see if any of those slackers on the committee can give us a “second opinion” on some of these games and see what their version of how things will play out will be. 

 

Let’s get to it! 

 

GF: Before we get into the game predictions TSLQBPRC person(s?), is there anything else you’d like to specifically add about Playoff Saturday? 

 

TSLQBPR: Just that there’s no shame in losing.  Sounds like a soft statement, we know, but there are only 6 champions this session and that means 43 teams are going to end their seasons without a champagne bath.  If you’re eliminated already, don’t worry - it just means you’re in good company!

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

#1 Legends 21, #8 Freeballers 0 (Forfeit)

#7 Mavericks 42, #2 Eyes Downtown 33 (OT)

#3 Sticky Bandits 46, #6 Unit Ha Ha 33

#4 What A Dump 28, #5 Frodo Swaggins 8

 

The Freeballers decided that the only way to not lose to the Legends by 50 was to not play at all, The Mavericks pull of the biggest upset of the day, beating Eyes Downtown in overtime, Sticky Bandits handle Ha Ha, and Frodo Swaggins forgets to show up, loses to What A Dump.

 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Legends: 6,884
Sticky Bandits: 1,969
What A Dump: 805
Mavericks: 342

#1 Legends (8-0-0) vs #7 Mavericks (3-5-0)
Avg PF: Legends 43.00 (1st) — Mavericks 29.88 (5th)
Avg PA: Legends 22.00 (1st) — Mavericks 37.62 (6th)
SOS: Legends .420 (8th) — Mavericks .516 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Legends 2nd — Mavericks 37th
Past Games: Legends 56-24
Line: Legends (-14)

 

GF: What a great win by the Mavericks last week, pulling off quite the upset that I don’t think many people had written down. An OT victory over Eyes Downtown was amazing, but at this point they’re not going to catch the Legends sleeping. At least I don’t think so. LEGENDS BY 20

TSLQBPR: Legends haven’t lost a game all season, and the Mavericks (despite a truly incredible showing against Eyes Downtown) are still not even a .500 team.  It’s an easy pick for the winner here, just a question of how close this should be.  LEGENDS BY 11

 

#3 Sticky Bandits (4-4-0) vs #4 What A Dump (3-4-1)
Avg PF: Sticky Bandits 38.75 (2nd) — What A Dump 27.75 (6th)
Avg PA: Sticky Bandits 32.88 (5th) — What A Dump 29.25 (3rd)
SOS: Sticky Bandits .484 (6th) — What A Dump .500 (4th)
TSL Rank: Sticky Bandits 25th — What A Dump 29th
Past Games: Sticky Bandits 56-33
Line: Sticky Bandits (-4)

 

GF: The Sticky Bandits have been a little bi-polar this season (Shout Out Bi-Polar Express!), as attendance issues with key players and injuries certainly shook things up this year. But they’re getting right on track at the right time, and when they do, it’s hard to stop them. What A Dump has had a really nice year, and they’re going to be even better in the spring. But it’s not the spring just yet. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

TSLQBPR: The Sticky Bandits are much better than the 4-4 record they carried into the playoffs, and it’s well known that they were playing shorthanded for much of the season.  But What A Dump is riding the “Kayla Voss is really good” wave as far as it’ll take them.  Should be a closer game than the last time these teams met (What a Dump by 23) or the last time these teams met in the playoffs (Sticky Bandits by 10, last Spring).  STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 Legends vs #3 Sticky Bandits. Sticky HAS come into this battle before and they’ve pulled the upset. I wouldn’t count them out of this completely, but I also feel like we haven’t really seen the Legends’ Final Form this season just yet, and we will in this one. LEGENDS BY 9

TSLQBPR: #1 Legends vs #3 Sticky Bandits. Yes, the Sticky Bandits have won this battle before, and if they’re healthy they have a chance to do it again.  But they need everything to go right, and Legends probably needs to collapse a little.  This could be Championship #6 for Legends on Saturday.  LEGENDS BY 8

D2

Last Week’s Games

#3 The Malones 41, #6 Grey Hair – Don’t Care 36

#4 Can’t Touch This 47, #5 Scared Hitless 26

 

The Malones beat Grey Hair in a battle that was much closer than expected, while Can’t Touch This just dominated Scared Hitless en route to an easy win. 

 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Can’t Touch This: 2,901
Passing While Intoxicated: 2,825
Jabronies: 2,508
The Malones: 1,766

 

#1 Jabronies (7-1-0) vs #4 Can’t Touch This (4-4-0)
Avg PF: Jabronies 37.75 (1st) — Can’t Touch This 34.50 (4th)
Avg PA: Jabronies 30.12 (3rd) — Can’t Touch This 25.88 (1st)
SOS: Jabronies .422 (6th) — Can’t Touch This .500 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Jabronies 6th — Can’t Touch This 23rd
Past Games: Jabronies 44-38
Line: Jabronies (-2)

 

GF: The Jabronies have been the feel good story of the year in D2, going from “almost there” to HOLY CRAP THEY’RE THERE. The Jabs have the best offense in the division, and they’re going up against the best defense in the division. Defense wins championships, right? Well, they especially do when they have a supermodel quarterback who can throw the ball further than a young John Elway. The Jabronies have the top end talent overall, but give me the team who’s getting hot at the right time, has the better QB, and has the better defense overall. B’s Brother’s simulations beat me to it here. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

TSLQBPR: Isn’t it crazy that the #4 seed feels like the favorite against the #1 seed coming off a first round bye?  But that’s kind of where we’re at here isn’t it?  Jabronies are playing with confidence, but Can’t Touch This is playing with Ryan.  Feels like a coin flip.  JABRONIES BY 1

 

#2 Passing While Intoxicated (5-3-0) vs #3 The Malones (5-3-0)
Avg PF: PWI 37.38 (3rd) — The Malones 37.50 (2nd)
Avg PA: PWI 29.62 (2nd) — The Malones 34.12 (4th)
SOS: PWI .531 (2nd) — The Malones .547 (1st)
TSL Rank: PWI 11th — The Malones 19th
Past Games: PWI 44-38 | PWI 46-24
Line: Passing While Intoxicated (-2)

 

GF: The Malones took care of business last week, but it shouldn’t have been as close as it was. They haven’t been the strongest of teams as of late, and something feels off about them as of late. Now they’re playing a PWI team that’s just beaten them twice recently, and the second game wasn’t even much of a contest. Meanwhile, PWI is trending upwards in all of the right ways. The Malones will not go down without a fight, but they will go down. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 3

 

TSLQBPR: Agreed on all of that.  The Malones just haven’t looked good enough in the last month for us to pick them here.  PWI has looked like world beaters and they seem to have the Malones’ number.  Give us PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #2 Passing While Intoxicated vs #4 Can’t Touch This, just how everyone predicted things will go. One thing is for sure, that whoever wins this game will EARN it. This feels like we’re going to see a high scoring, fun affair and honestly seeing both of these teams jump to D1 next season would be some must watch football. Call me crazy, but…CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 1

 

TSLQBPR: #1 Jabronies vs #2 Passing While Intoxicated.  These two teams have ALREADY met in a Finals before, right?  If we’re remembering correctly, Jabronies won 12-7 in the D3 Finals a couple seasons ago.  Twelve points isn’t going to get the job done in this one, but both offenses have evolved quite a bit since then.  JABRONIES BY 5

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Wanderers 31, #8 GirthQuakes 20

#2 Bullet Club 34, #7 Practice Squad 25

#3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 60, #6 Buffalo Vice 40

#5 D-Generation X Y and Z 44, #4 Cunning Stunts 43

 

Another D3 playoff, another round of chaos. The Wanderers avenged their earlier loss to the GQs in a game that got a little heated by the end of it, Bullet Club avenged their earlier loss to the Squad as well to move on in the playoffs as well. ILF put up 60 points on Buffalo Vice which was almost mean, and DXYZ went for two points and got it at the end of the game to take down the Stunts in a classic. 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons: 3,218
D-Generation X Y and Z: 2,761
Wanderers: 2,706
Bullet Club: 1,315

 

#1 Wanderers (6-2-0) vs #5 D-Generation X Y and Z (4-4-0)
Avg PF: Wanderers 40.88 (2nd) — D-Gen XYZ 32.62 (4th)
Avg PA: Wanderers 34.75 (5th) — D-Gen XYZ 26.12 (1st)
SOS: Wanderers .484 (5th) — D-Gen XYZ .500 (4th)
TSL Rank: Wanderers 10th — D-Gen XYZ 24th
Past Games: Wanderers 46-24
Line: Wanderers (-3)

 

GF: DXYZ had a great win over the Stunts last week, but now they need to be nearly perfect to get past the Wanderers. If the Keller clan can force Frank into a few bad throws, they have a path to victory, but I’m not entirely sure they can keep up with the Wanderers offensively. WANDERERS BY 8

TSLQBPR: There are seemingly two versions of the Wanderers - the ones that show up in the regular season and kill everyone, and the ones that show up in the playoffs and get upset by PWI/Practice Squad/Can’t Touch This/Bullet Club.  Are they going to go home early again?  Not this time (we think).  WANDERERS BY 13

 

#2 Bullet Club (5-3-0) vs #3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (5-3-0)
Avg PF: Bullet Club 28.62 (6th) — ILF 32.50 (5th)
Avg PA: Bullet Club 30.88 (3rd) — ILF 26.50 (2nd)
SOS: Bullet Club .469 (7th) — ILF .469 (7th)
TSL Rank: Bullet Club 13th — ILF 16th
Past Games: Bullet Club 24-19
Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-4)

 

GF: ILF is the lower seed, and they’re favored in this game? Another week of Bullet Club getting disrespected, especially when they have already beaten ILF before. However, these two teams are pretty evenly matched, and the “Game of the Day” potential is here if both sides show up. BULLET CLUB BY 1

 

TSLQBPR: Buddy is going to go off with his usual Buddy moves here.  Scramble, scramble, dagger down the field.  We don’t think Bullet Club will get too many stops.  But frankly neither will ILF.  Absolute “Game of the Day” potential here for sure.  We’ll take ILF BY 2

 

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 Wanderers vs #2 Bullet Club. A playoff rematch of last season’s OT epic, but this time it’s for the title. You have the Wanderers on one side, looking to finally claim that D3 title that’s eluded them for years. On the other side, you have Bullet Club, looking to win their first title since 2018. Add into the history between the teams and you have one hell of a scripted storyline. WANDERERS BY 2

 

TSLQBPR: #1 Wanderers vs #3 ILF.  The regular season matchup came down to the final plays, and we don’t expect this one to be much different.  ILF has a dynamic, exciting mobile QB with a history of winning big games.  But don't Wanderers have that, and more? Nothing would shock us about this game in terms of outcome or score, but it might FINALLY be Wanderers time to hoist a championship trophy at the Banquet.  WANDERERS BY 5

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#2 Puckett All-Stars 34, #7 Cobblestone 33

#3 PowerPuff Girls 21, #6 Come From Behind 0 (Forfeit)

#4 Mike’s Detailing 47, #5 Ready To Retire 6

Come From Behind made the wise move to not play in the monsoon, giving the PowerPuff Girls the pass to the next round. Puckett All-Stars had to outlast Cobblestone, preventing Darryl from completing a magical win by stopping the potential game winning 2 point conversion. And Mike’s Detailing just stomped RTR. 

 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Two Tuddies: 5,958
Puckett All-Stars: 2,060
Mike’s Detailing: 1,136
PowerPuff Girls: 846

 

#1 Two Tuddies (8-0-0) vs #4 Mike’s Detailing (4-4-0)
Avg PF: Two Tuddies 36.75 (1st) — Mike’s Detailing 32.62 (2nd)
Avg PA: Two Tuddies 15.62 (1st) — Mike’s Detailing 29.12 (5th)
SOS: Two Tuddies .408 (7th) — Mike’s Detailing .491 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Two Tuddies 7th — Mike’s Detailing 22nd
Past Games: Two Tuddies 30-22
Line: Two Tuddies (-9)

 

GF: Whatever changes the Two Tuddies made to the roster for this season, they’ve worked better than they ever could’ve imagined. Undefeated record, top offense, and the top defense in the division? I don’t think they give a GM of the Year award at the banquet (Which is December 5th!) but if they did, here’s your winner. TWO TUDDIES BY 14

 

TSLQBPR: Look at the points scored for each team, which you’ve written above.  37 PPG for Tuddies, 33 PPG for Mike’s.  Not that far off!  Now look at the points against for each team.  16 PPG (BEST IN THE LEAGUE) for Tuddies, 29 PPG for Mike’s (5th best in a 7 team division).  There’s the difference.  TWO TUDDIES BY 11

 

#2 Puckett All-Stars (6-2-0) vs #3 PowerPuff Girls (5-3-0)
Avg PF: Puckett 27.00 (4th) — PowerPuff Girls 26.00 (5th)
Avg PA: Puckett 20.50 (2nd) — PowerPuff Girls 27.14 (4th)
SOS: Puckett .449 (6th) — PowerPuff Girls .479 (5th)
TSL Rank: Puckett 9th — PowerPuff Girls 21st
Past Games: Puckett All-Stars 31-17
Line: Puckett All-Stars (-4)

 

GF: Puckett has looked VERY good this season, and I think if the Tud Buds weren’t so impressive, plus the addition of the gender team to D4, they’d be getting a LOT more publicity. They have a killer defense, and they’ve already beaten the PPGs once this season. It was an up and down year for the ladies this time around, but a lot of that had to do with their QB not being there for them every week which led to some losses that may not have happened if he were here. I think he’s going to be here this week, so…POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 4

 

TSLQBPR: Puckett used to be famous for having underwhelming regular seasons and then suddenly bringing their “A game” for playoffs.  But if they’re not careful, they’re going to get “Pucketted” by PowerPuff Girls, who (we think) lost all their games with backup QBs this season.  Kyle is a difference maker.  POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 Two Tuddies vs #3 PowerPuff Girls. The rivalry continues, although it appears that the power has swung the way of the Tuddies. I’m excited to see how this is going to play out, but I think we’re in for big win for the Tuddieverse. Besides, ONE of the Tuddies teams has to win something, right? TWO TUDDIES BY 7

 

TSLQBPR: #1 Two Tuddies vs #3 PowerPuff Girls. PowerPuff Girls won the last Championship game against the Tuddies just a few months ago, and they’ve kept virtually the same roster since then.  Tuddies have improved quite a bit, and it won’t be as easy for the Girls to move the ball against them as it was last session.  Kyle will need a nearly perfect game… and we think he has one in him.  POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Balls Deep 33, #8 Mo’ Chicken 12

#2 Blitzkrieg 24, #7 Sausage McMuffins 22

#6 Pit Harade 22, #3 Bridget & Quit It 16

#4 Not So Sticky 32, #5 Stir the Sauce 27

 

Balls Deep kept it rolling, frying Mo’ Chicken to put them out of their misery this season. Blitzkrieg took on their old friends the McMuffins and barely held on to beat them. Pit Harade held strong against Bridget & Quit It for an upset victory, and Not So Sticky prevented the sauce from being stirred, beating STS. 

 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Balls Deep: 6,520
Not So Sticky: 2,129
Blitzkrieg: 964
Pit Harade: 387

 

#1 Balls Deep (7-1-0) vs #6 Pit Harade (3-5-0)
Avg PF: Balls Deep 39.38 (1st) — Pit Harade 20.88 (5th)
Avg PA: Balls Deep 18.00 (1st) — Pit Harade 26.62 (5th)
SOS: Balls Deep .469 (6th) — Pit Harade .518 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Balls Deep 5th — Pit Harade 35th
Past Games: Balls Deep 36-10
Line: Balls Deep (-14)

 

GF: Pit Harade has been playing better in the second half of the season, but Balls Deep has been so, so good all season. They have the best of everything in D5, and they’re already earmarked for D4 whether they know it or not. PH needs to play mistake free football to make this a game, but I think we’ll see Balls Deep pull away as the game goes on. BALLS DEEP BY 13

 

TSLQBPR: Balls Deep are the class of the division.  Best offense + best defense + best record = best playoff odds, for sure.  Pit Harade is sneakily a better team than their seeding would have you believe… but there’s “better than you think” and there’s “better than Balls Deep”.  BALLS DEEP BY 15

 

#2 Blitzkrieg (5-3-0) vs #4 Not So Sticky (5-3-0)
Avg PF: Blitzkrieg 33.88 (2nd) — Not So Sticky 25.88 (4th)
Avg PA: Blitzkrieg 31.50 (7th) — Not So Sticky 20.25 (2nd)
SOS: Blitzkrieg .531 (1st) — Not So Sticky .469 (6th)
TSL Rank: Blitzkrieg 14th — Not So Sticky 17th
Past Games: Not So Sticky 30-24
Line: Not So Sticky (-2)

GF: Fall Blitzkrieg is a team that doesn’t have much trouble scoring, but they DO struggle to stop other teams from doing so, as evidenced by their atrocious defense rating. It’s the only thing really holding them back from winning it all. Not So Sticky is too smart, and with TSL Leading Rusher Ricky Recckio taking the snaps they’ll control the clock, and they’ll pick apart the defense with relative ease. NOT SO STICKY BY 7

 

TSLQBPR: The first matchup of these teams this session was close enough, and their records were identical entering the playoffs.  This should be one of the more evenly contested matchups of the day.  We don’t expect a lot of stops in this game from either team,  but if there’s a SLIGHT edge to grant to either side, we’ll give it to the veterans every time.  NOT SO STICKY BY 2

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 Balls Deep vs #4 Not So Sticky. This is your casual reminder that the “1” behind the “1” in “7-1” for Balls Deep’s record was Not So Sticky, who walked off with a 27-16 win a couple of weeks ago. While that should probably inspire Balls Deep to want to beat them even more, perhaps they might get scared and grip the ball too hard? The veteran team that is Not So Sticky have been here before, many times, and I think that might end up being a factor. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

TSLQBPR: #1 Balls Deep vs #4 Not So Sticky.  Balls Deep definitely has an aura, a hype, whatever you want to call it, that they almost seem unbeatable right now to most other D5 teams.  But we don’t think that will factor into a game against Not So Sticky, who already won the first matchup and don’t seem intimidated by anyone.  So if this game comes down to talent, who has more of it?  Well… the standings and the stats both say that’s Balls Deep, and who are we to argue?  BALLS DEEP BY 7

D6

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Round 1:

 

#5 Intentional Clowning 29, #12 Puck Bunnies 16

#11 Sticky Laces 26, #6 TMA 8, 

#7 Three Tuddies 44, #10 Raw Milkers 23

#8 Select 32, #9 Four Tuddies 0

 

Round 2:

 

#1 The Chargers 21, #11 Sticky Laces 0 (Forfeit)

#2 Flying Balls 30, #7 Select 29

#3 Blue Ballers 50, #6 Three Tuddies 6

#4 Irish Giants 21, #5 Intentional Clowning 20

 

Not too many surprises from the first weekend of the D6 playoffs. Sticky Laces did upset TMA before forfeiting against The Chargers. Select dominated the Four Tuddies before coming OH SO CLOSE to beating the Flying Balls. Intentional Clowning got by the Puck Bunnies before losing by a point to the Irish Giants, and 3 Tudz beat up on the Raw Milkers before getting smacked by the Blue Ballers. 

 

10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations for Championship Saturday Results: 

Flying Balls: 4,179
The Chargers: 3,522
Blue Ballers: 1,759
Irish Giants: 540

 

#1 The Chargers (7-1-0) vs #4 Irish Giants (6-2-0)
Avg PF: Chargers 41.38 (3rd) — Irish Giants 26.00 (6th)
Avg PA: Chargers 19.62 (2nd) — Irish Giants 19.88 (3rd)
SOS: Chargers .500 (5th) — Irish Giants .500 (5th)
TSL Rank: Chargers 12th — Irish Giants 18th
Past Games: Irish Giants 25-18
Line: The Chargers (-8)

 

GF: The Irish Giants are a formidable foe for The Chargers as shown by the fact that they’re the only ones that beat The Chargers in a game this season, although I’ve been told they were quite shorthanded. I think this game will be closer than you think, but it’s hard to go against the boys in blue. THE CHARGERS BY 6

 

TSLQBPR: Irish Giants are a great team.  Whether you like veteran experience of straight athleticism, they have either one.  But the Chargers were AWESOME this season (debatably too awesome for D6), and there’s no chance we’re picking against them in the Semi-Finals.  THE CHARGERS BY 11

 

#2 Flying Balls (7-1-0) vs #3 Blue Ballers (6-2-0)
Avg PF: Flying Balls 45.12 (1st) — Blue Ballers 44.62 (2nd)
Avg PA: Flying Balls 18.50 (1st) — Blue Ballers 26.12 (5th)
SOS: Flying Balls .516 (4th) — Blue Ballers .500 (5th)
TSL Rank: Flying Balls 4th — Blue Ballers 9th
Past Games: Flying Balls 54-44
Line: Flying Balls (-4)

 

GF: The Flying Balls got the scare they needed to wake up in these playoffs after Select almost took them out. The Balls are first in everything, and it's still amazing they average only 18 points a game after allowing 44 to the Blue Ballers. The over/under for this game is 89.5 (see below) and I think I’d take the over. The Blue Ballers will be in this game the whole time. FLYING BALLS BY 4

 

TSLQBPR: We agree that the Blue Ballers will be in this game the whole time.  Blue Ballers are a fast paced, athletic team with a great QB.  And in another universe, they might have been massive favorites in the D6 playoffs if Flying Balls and The Chargers hadn’t come out of nowhere to hijack this division.  But it’s a Flying Balls world, and we’re just living in it.  FLYING BALLS BY 8

 

CHAMPIONSHIP PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 The Chargers vs #2 Flying Balls. This should be 1A vs 1B, and it’s the title match we all wanted, or expected at least. These two teams are the best of the best and they’re slightly overpowered for this division. The Chargers squeaked by the Flying Balls 32-24 in the last week of the regular season, but I’m not sure they do it again. FLYING BALLS BY 2

 

TSLQBPR: #1 The Chargers vs #2 Flying Balls.  Could either the Irish Giants or Blue Ballers crash the party here and spoil this matchup of #1 vs #2?  Of course.  But these have been the two best teams in the division all season, and this is who we’re expecting to finish it.  The Chargers got a week off last week after the Sticky Laces forfeit, while Flying Balls had to battle back just to overcome Select.  Does that mean anything for this week?  Probably not.  Expect a classic, and whoever blinks first and drops a wide open sixth down TD is going to spend the entire offseason regretting it.  We’ll take THE CHARGERS BY 4

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS: 

Legends vs Mavericks
Spread: Legends -14
Moneyline: Legends -650 / Mavericks +450
Over/Under: 72.5

Sticky Bandits vs What A Dump
Spread: Sticky Bandits -4
Moneyline: Sticky Bandits -175 / What A Dump +150
Over/Under: 66.5

Jabronies vs Can’t Touch This
Spread: Jabronies -2
Moneyline: Jabronies -130 / Can’t Touch This +110
Over/Under: 72.5

Passing While Intoxicated vs The Malones
Spread: Passing While Intoxicated -2
Moneyline: PWI -130 / The Malones +110
Over/Under: 75.0

Wanderers vs D-Generation X Y and Z
Spread: Wanderers -3
Moneyline: Wanderers -155 / D-Gen XYZ +135
Over/Under: 73.5

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Bullet Club
Spread: ILF -4
Moneyline: ILF -175 / Bullet Club +150
Over/Under: 61.5

Two Tuddies vs Mike’s Detailing
Spread: Two Tuddies -9
Moneyline: Two Tuddies -350 / Mike’s Detailing +270
Over/Under: 69.5

Puckett All-Stars vs PowerPuff Girls
Spread: Puckett All-Stars -4
Moneyline: Puckett -175 / PowerPuff Girls +150
Over/Under: 53.0

Balls Deep vs Pit Harade
Spread: Balls Deep -14
Moneyline: Balls Deep -650 / Pit Harade +450
Over/Under: 60.5

Not So Sticky vs Blitzkrieg
Spread: Not So Sticky -2
Moneyline: Not So Sticky -130 / Blitzkrieg +110
Over/Under: 60.0

The Chargers vs Irish Giants
Spread: The Chargers -8
Moneyline: Chargers -310 / Irish Giants +240
Over/Under: 67.5

Flying Balls vs Blue Ballers
Spread: Flying Balls -4
Moneyline: Flying Balls -175 / Blue Ballers +150
Over/Under: 89.5

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• WHO IS THE TEAM NOT GETTING ENOUGH RESPECT CURRENTLY THAT WILL END UP WINNING IT ALL? Puckett All-Stars. They’re a good team with a great defense that plays hard. They’ve already beaten the PPGs, and they only lost to the Tuddies by 2 points. They absolutely could take the title home. 

 

 

 

• WHAT #1 SEED HAS THE MOST PRESSURE ON THEM TO WIN? It has to be the Wanderers. They’re always the #1 seed it seems and they never, ever, end up winning the title. The Legends don't have any pressure on them. Jabronies shouldn’t have any either. Two Tuddies are having the best season they’ve ever had. Balls Deep is coasting, The Chargers know they’re really good. It’s the Wanderers, for sure. 

 

 

 

• WHO IS THE MOST OVERLOOKED TEAM REMAINING? I don’t consider Puckett “overlooked”, so I feel like this is a different question. For overlooked, I think What A Dump is the most overlooked team remaining. Not a soul is thinking they can beat the Legends, which might give them the fuel they needed to shock the world. Probably not though. 

 

 

 

• WHICH DIVISION HAS THE BEST SHOT FOR ANY OF THE REMAINING TEAMS TO WIN? It’s probably D2 this time around. Normally I’d say D3, but I think overall if anyone from D2 walked away as champions, it wouldn’t be surprising. 

 

 

 

• WHAT MATTERS THE MOST FOR A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM? While I’m tempted to say QB, the answer is, and always will be, how good your female players are. If you have a distinct advantage there, you should never lose the game. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• Even though you had to deal with rain for a chunk of the games last Saturday, it’s looking like a 68ish degree sunny day at the fields to determine our champions. And the weather seems like it’ll improve as the day continues. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• ALL OF THEM, ITS CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY!

 

 

 

• It’s weird to have a Championship Saturday without Eyes Downtown. 

 

 

 

• The TSL Banquet is set for Friday, December 5th! It’s the best time of the offseason. Sign up here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1w_1nExRYf1oM0WatWDCtBi1shilvNE2wcwCf2Jt8lKU/edit

 

 

 

• If you think you know who should be winning some of our TSL awards, go nominate them here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1utq3uTfF9kJ9ujn2Nsmy5p-c-jR1tX_tKQJ3i2rFQhE/edit#responses

 

 

 

• BUT WAIT! THERE’S THE WINTER LEAGUE TOO! January 10th - March 14th. Sign up here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1ENoNbF9bIduHGF6EnkcdVKv6k6ssXid5OERuT04ioWo/edit

 

 

 

• I hope we never have a season without Breakfast Club ever again. 

 

 

 

• As always, the tensions will be HIGH tomorrow. Keep yourself, and your teammates, in check whether it’s against a player on the other team upsetting you, or much more importantly if you don’t agree with Ref’s call, DON’T be a jerk and get kicked out of the game. 

 

 

 

• PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t just be “on time” to your game, be EARLY. The league wants to run these games as close as possible to the schedule as they can. 

 

 

 

• Thank you again for another fantastic season of TSL football. It’s much more challenging to do this article from my cabin in Des Moines, Iowa compared to when I was there in the league with you, and then got even harder when we lost Lenny and Rameer. I appreciate all of the emails you’ve sent me, and I look forward to doing it all again in the Spring. 

 

Good luck to the final 24 teams remaining. Immortality is at your fingertips! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 24 April 2026 17:08

Published: Friday, 24 April 2026 17:08

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 252

Ladies, Gentlemen, and the B’s Brothers of the TSL Universe: we’ve arrived. After a ridiculous 26 week long offseason (yes, that’s half a year) that wasn’t broken up by the esteemed “Winter League”, your TSL has finally returned. On Saturday, April 25th, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, 54 teams across the TSL’s 7 divisions (BREAKFAST CLUB IS BACK BABY!) will try their hand at achieving the one thing that matters most in the world: Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. 

 

If you’re a long time TSL veteran, you know exactly what I’m talking about. But if you’re brand new to the TSL and this is your first “The Godfather” article, you’re thinking to yourself “that’s a bold statement to make, who is this Jabroni?”. Well first off, as is tradition, I’m The Godfather. I’m the ‘often imitated, never duplicated’ article writing maestro who likes to have his pulse on all things TSL and report them back to you. I used to play in the league many years ago, but life took me away from Buffalo, and in an effort to stay connected to this league I enjoyed so much, I started writing this weekly little ditty that everyone so patiently waits for every Friday morning from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. I’ve been called many names over the years such as “Topper”, “Lenny”, “Rameer”, “B”, “B’s Brother”, “Joe K”, “Joey Batts”, “Matty Ice”, “Mike Boccio-Bernal”, “The Good Tommy Hughes”, “Garrett”, “Girl On Crack”, “DJ Jimmy”, “DJ Tommy”, “Jeff Krol”, “Doctor Krol”, “Scott Keller”, “Scott Keller Jr.”, and many, many more. The greatest part of it all is that everyone seems to think they know who I am, and yet they’re still wrong. Yes, I do need to get as much information about the league as possible, and while my assortment of “spies” around the league do help, you can take the time to email me about your team at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know WHO you are and WHY you’re winning the Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. And as long as you’re not a Freeballer, I’ll actually believe your team has a chance. 

 

But back to the original point: this matters to you. So many of you spent time during the winter getting in better shape, doing red light therapies, convincing others to join your team with promises of TSL glory, practicing once, maybe twice a day (Hi Robert!), joining teams in the minor leagues to keep yourself fresh and/or get even better at your craft. And for what? For the right to be called TSL champion. Not to say you “had fun”. Not to be a Game On champion. Not to be the best in Mile (is there even a mile anymore? Should Jeff Krol invite Moh back to write a weekly article in a homecoming only equaled by CM Punk returning to WWE?). But to be a TSL Champion. Immortality can only be achieved on the holy ground that is the construction site fields behind the Rose Garden. 

 

As usual, there was a lot of player movement between the teams during the offseason as the long standing tradition of poaching (better known as “Rameering”) took place. So what does it mean for the #TSLSpring2026 season? Who’s going into this thing as the favorites to achieve immortality? Who are the new teams and where do they stand? How handsome is Brent going to be to start the season? These are the questions that need answering, and as usual it’s my job to tell you exactly what’s going to happen. I’m always right, no need to go back and check my work. Trust me. 

 

(The following odds and spreads are brought to you by the Topper Super Computer AI Network. Much like Topper in the women's locker room, it’s always watching.) 

D1

 

Championship Odds

 

Legends (3-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

The Malones (8-1)

What a Dump (12-1)

Mavericks (16-1)

Freeballers (20-1) 

 

D1 is where the big boys play, and the usual 3 team arms race continues as Legends, Sticky, and ED all look to kill each other for the title of Best In The World. The Malones make the jump up to D1, which I’m sure will go smoothly and there won’t be ANY arguing or smack talking for the refs to deal with, right? Honestly, The Malones were made for D1, they added a superstar in Malikye, and it isn’t impossible to think they’ll compete right away. They also get to reignite their D2 rivalry with the Mavericks, which should produce some excellent games. Freeballers, always looking to improve, were finally the team to convince Buddy Lee to step up to D1 to see if he can win here too. Sometimes they look like a D1 team, other times they look like D2/D3/D4 players who wouldn’t make any of the other D1 rosters playing together because they overestimate their own talents. It’ll be exciting to watch this one unfold. 

 

Prediction: This year feels like it’s the Sticky Bandits turn, as they squeak by the Legends to celebrate Doctor Krol allowing Jeff to be a two time dad. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits (-12) - The Freeballers first test of the season comes in the form of the Sticky Bandits. Sticky has mostly played together for centuries, so it isn’t the best start for the Freeballers to try to learn how to play with their new QB. Surely the guy who makes the schedule didn’t do this on purpose. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

Eyes Downtown vs The Malones (+5) - The epitome of why it’s hard to get people to referee is this game right here. But seriously, this is a hell of a good test for The Malones to see how they shape up against one of the league’s elite teams. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

Legends vs What a Dump (+14) - It’s only Week 1 and it already feels like the Legends are on cruise control until the playoffs start. LEGENDS BY 7

 

Legends vs Mavericks (+10) - Legends get an ‘easy’ double header, if you can ever call it that in D1 (avoiding ED and Sticky helps) and the Mavs haven’t quite shown enough consistency in D1 yet for me to think they’ll pull this off. Check back in a few weeks on that. LEGENDS BY 10

D2

 

Championship Odds

 

Frodo Swaggins (6-1)

Can’t Touch This (8-1)

Jabronies (8-1)

D-Generation XYZ (12-1)

Buffalo Vice (25-1)

 

Yes, D2 is weird. But it’s been weird for a few seasons now. That doesn’t mean the football isn’t top notch, it’s just that the division ends up smaller than usual with the tweener teams that don’t quite fit into D3, and they’re either too scared of D1 (Can’t Touch This) or they’ve been traumatized by D1 for too long (Frodo). It’s exciting to see Buffalo Vice jump up to D2, it remains to be seen how smart of a move that is though. 

 

Prediction: The Jabronies sneak by Frodo Swaggins en route to a date with D1 in the Fall. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

Buffalo Vice vs Frodo Swaggins (-12) - The team that competed in D1 last year vs the team that was in D3 last year. While I’m sure there’s some roster changes on both sides, you’d have to think Vice was hoping for someone else to start with. As for Frodo, they get a team they should be able to beat even if Garrett is terrible in his first game which is the norm. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 13

 

Can’t Touch This vs D-Generation XYZ (+8) - The Keller Clan not being in D3 just feels weird, but they did the honorable thing to do when you win and they moved up a division (It’s more of a guideline than a rule). If there’s one thing that feels like it’s true every year is that CTT slays in the beginning of the season. No need for that to change, unless married life fattened up Handsome, Strong Armed QB Ryan. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 10

 

D3

 

Championship Odds

 

Cunning Stunts (10-1)

Bullet Club (14-1)

Practice Squad (14-1)

Wanderers (14-1)

ISH (14-1)

Two Tuddies (16-1)

BQI (18-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (18-1)

Grey Hair – Don’t Care (25-1)

 

Yes, the top team for the odds here is only 10-1. Why? Because D3 remains the best division in the TSL from top to bottom. Anyone can beat anyone, and that usually happens. Pretty much every team in the division changed a bit somehow, and as usual it’ll be the team that dials it in the best that finishes first in the regular season….before blowing it in the playoffs. The Wanderers have changed half the roster. GHDC dropped a division. BQI moved up two divisions. Bullet Club got Jordan Lawson to QB. The Tuddies got better. The Stunts are always good. Practice Squad added. Etc.  We could simulate 10,000 seasons and still end up with every one of these teams winning a lot of titles. Good luck to all of the teams in the TSL Thunderdome here. 

 

Prediction: The team nobody bet on upsets the team nobody saw coming. For this year’s edition of “As The D3 Turns” that means that the Wanderers end up beating the Two Tuddies. Sounds right. Sounds colorful. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BQI vs Two Tuddies (-2) - The Tud Buds get to play in D3 against BQI (Bridget And Quit It, for those wondering at home) in a Week 1 match of teams trying to get their feet wet in their new division. BQI decided to make a two division jump after not even winning a playoff game in D5 last season. While I’m sure the roster reinforcements will help, that might be too much too soon for them. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

 

Cunning Stunts vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - The Stunts remain largely intact this season, which can only mean bad things for the rest of D3. Getting an inconsistent LGR squad that historically has roster issues isn’t the worst way to start things off. CUNNING STUNTS BY 9

 

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Wanderers (-4) - The Wanderers have apparently lost a BIG chunk of their roster, and they may not really resemble the superstar squads of decades past. They might even have to get new shirts. GHDC is coming off a rough go in D2, so that gives us a fun matchup of two teams really trying to figure out what they’re going to be this season. WANDERERS BY 1. 

 

Bullet Club vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - A rivalry of sorts, but a friendly one, takes place here in Week 1 as Bullet Club and the Squad do battle for the 40th time (probably) this weekend. These games are always must-see TV, as league icons B and Joe K lead their teams into battle, waiting to see who gets the bad ref call that costs them the game. I think Bullet Club won last time, so PRACTICE SQUAD BY 4. 

 

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs ISH (-7) - ILF became ISH for some reason, but they’re a very similar squad, and getting GHDC on the backend of a double header could prove beneficial to them. ISH BY 6

 

D4

 

Championship Odds

 

Puckett (4-1)

Balls Deep (5-1)

Flying Balls (6-1)

Not So Sticky (7-1)

Mike’s Detailing (9-1)

Tater Tots (10-1)

PowerPuff Girls (12-1)

Coochie Monsters (14-1)

Show Me Your TDs (20-1)

Cobblestone (35-1) 

 

D4 gives us quite an interesting set of teams. Puckett remains the same, Balls Deep and the Flying Balls both jumped up divisions (The Balls went up two!), Not So Sticky went up a division, The Tots are back for the spring and they’re always a tough out, The PPG’s got hit with a locker room wide pregnancy epidemic, Coochie Monsters is mostly a “Burr-less” Untouchaballs, Show Me Your TDs (No, not THAT one, this is NOT the worst team in TSL league history, but that’s the issue you face when you come up with weak, cookie cutter team names people. Hopefully when they find out about that, Jeff will let them change their names. Maybe Straw Hats?) is new, and Cobblestone is Cobblestone, who the hell knows what you’re going to get? The point being? This is going to be quite the exciting division to watch as it figures itself out this season. 

 

Prediction: The Flying Balls sneak by Balls Deep in a barnburner. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

Not So Sticky vs Tater Tots (-7) - Two “new” teams to D4 this season, technically, these teams have met in the past a few times as they’ve both been in D4 together. The Tots only play in the Spring, but they’ve done it long enough that they’re used to it and there’s never any “rust” when they come back. NSS tends to have to restock the shelves with the roster each offseason, and there are some new faces once again. It’ll be interesting to see if they can get off to a fast start. TATER TOTS BY 2

 

Cobblestone vs Flying Balls (-8)- The biggest concern for the Flying Balls in their D4 debut is going to be just how star struck they’ll be going up against Darryl Carr QB Superstar. Most of these kids grew up watching Darryl and wanting to be just like him when they got older (I assume.). Now they get to play him? They should be amped up. FLYING BALLS BY 13

 

Cobblestone vs Mike’s Detailing (-6)  - Back to back games for Cobblestone to kick off the year could mean bad things to start. Mike’s Detailing (Tell them The Godfather sent you for 10% off!)  has a real shot at the title this season. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 8

 

PowerPuff Girls vs Show Me Your TDs (-5) - This game has all the makings of our usual “new team gets frustrated because they’re losing to a team of girls” result here, but just WHO the girls are remains to be seen here. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

 

Balls Deep vs Puckett (-3) - A very fun battle between two of the expected title contenders. This game could matter for who gets home field advantage in the championship game come June. Balls Deep decimated D5 last season, and even though they didn’t win, they still had the, well, Balls, to move up and get a better challenge. Puckett is that. BALLS DEEP BY 7

 

D5 

 

Championship Odds

 

Blitzkrieg (6-1)

Birds of War (8-1)

Blue Ballers (9-1)

Come From Behind (12-1)

Pit Harade (14-1)

Call the Doctor (16-1)

Mo Chicken (18-1)

SBG (20-1)

Sausage McMuffins (20-1)

716ers (25-1)

Wet Bandits (30-1) 

 

This edition of D5 brings us a mix of the knowns and the unknowns. The knowns consist of the usual suspects - Blitzkrieg, Sausage McMuffins, Pit Harade, Mo’ Chicken remain largely the same, while we know the Blue Ballers can Ball out after winning D6 and Come From Behind returns to D5 after a stint in D4. The unknowns are the interesting ones. The Birds of War (who I can only assume are Always Sunny fans), have dominated the minor league competition, winning title after title, and they’ve decided to come up to the majors to see how they stack up against the best of the best. Bringing in a decorated team like this can only be good for the league, provided they show up on the field. Call the Doctor is a mixture of D4’s “Ready to Retire” and some spare parts of Scared Hitless (RIP to Scared Hitless, hopefully it isn’t goodbye forever) which sounds like if they’re on the same page early, they’re the dark horse to bet. SBG seems to be a team of new people with a familiar face - long time TSLer JJ Wilson (who hasn’t been around in a minute) is back with a new squad, and unless he’s lost a leg along the way he should be the best player in D5 (if he wants to be). The 716ers are a new team that’s probably going to go through some growing pains in their first year, but if they can keep a positive attitude about everything they’re going to be just fine once they get their feet wet. And then the Wet Bandits (yet another team who is stealing the name of a past franchise, and NO they aren’t the Legends in a fake mustache like the Wet Bandits that preceded them) are a Raw Milkers offshoot team, so they should know how the league works a little bit, and that will hopefully stave off any growing pains. 

 

Prediction: Call the Doctor ruins D5 by being too good for it like a Temu version of the Woodpeckers in D6, taking out the Blue Ballers in the final. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

Call the Doctor vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - I don’t want to assume that the Docs will just be monsters until they actually play a game, and getting the CFBers is a hell of a litmus test. Word is that Paul LoVullo, a TSL first ballot Hall of Famer if there ever was one (double entendre) and his timeless rocket of an arm won’t be around for a good chunk of the season. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 8

 

Birds of War vs Sausage McMuffins (+6) - If the Birds of War are as good as advertised, they should handle the McMuffins even while getting used to the speed of the TSL game. If they keep their heads, they’ll be fine. If they don’t, the savvy SMMs will capitalize for sure. BIRDS OF WAR BY 4

 

Birds of War vs SBG (+7) - And just like that we’ll get a double dose of the Birds right away, while also seeing what we have in SBG. From the sounds of it, according to my insiders, SBG might not be coming into the league with as much experience as the Birds, which could spell doom. BIRDS OF WAR BY 16

 

Mo’ Chicken vs Blue Ballers (-10) - The Blue Ballers bring their high flying offense to D5 and they get to ease themselves into it with a Mo’ Chicken team that probably isn’t on most people’s short list of true title contenders yet. There’s a good chance that this is the BBs coming out party, and they might score 60. BLUE BALLERS BY 24

 

716ers vs SBG (EVEN) - Brand new team against brand new team with a guy we’ve heard of before. I’m not sure what’s going to happen here, so give me the team with JJ. SBG BY 7

 

Mo’ Chicken vs 716ers (+3) -  As it stands, Mo’ Chicken DOES have experience in the league and from what I know, 716ers really don’t. This should be a fun game for both teams. MO’ CHICKEN BY 1

 

D6

 

Championship Odds

 

Irish Giants (4-1)

Intentional Clowning (5-1)

TMA (7-1)

Select (9-1)

Sticky Laces (11-1)

Raw Milkers (14-1) 

 

A season ago, we had 12 teams in D6, which was a league record. Now, only 6 remain. A couple of teams jumped up divisions, a couple of teams ran away. It happens. What we’re left with is a competitive group of teams. These 6 teams finished 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, 10th, and 11th last year, although the 11th seed DID win their playoff game. In other words, they’re pretty closely matched top to bottom. No idea what we’re going to get from this group besides some really good football. 

 

Prediction: Irish Giants take out TMA in the finals. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

Sticky Laces vs TMA (-4) - Sticky Laces and TMA kick off the D6 season taking each other on in what should be a really nice battle on paper, however there are concerns with Laces QB Kyle not going to be there nearly as much this season, which swings things pretty well in TMA’s favor. TMA BY 8

 

Select vs Intentional Clowning (-2) - Select came a long way last season, but they still have some room to grow. The IC has been doing this for a bit now, and they’re pretty good when they want to be. This feels like a really nice back and forth slugfest. SELECT BY 2

 

 GF VS GPT

 

In an effort to defeat our AI overlords, I will also be keeping track this season of my own picks while also getting the picks from an AI bot to see who ends up being more right this season with their picks. Here are the AI picks for Week 1: 

 

Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits (-12) — STICKY BANDITS BY 10
Eyes Downtown vs The Malones (+5) — EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6
Legends vs What a Dump (+14) — LEGENDS BY 13
Legends vs Mavericks (+10) — LEGENDS BY 9

Buffalo Vice vs Frodo Swaggins (-12) — FRODO SWAGGINS BY 11
Can’t Touch This vs D-Generation XYZ (+8) — CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 9

BQI vs Two Tuddies (-2) — TWO TUDDIES BY 4
Cunning Stunts vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) — CUNNING STUNTS BY 8
Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Wanderers (-4) — GREY HAIR – DON’T CARE BY 3
Bullet Club vs Practice Squad (EVEN) — BULLET CLUB BY 2
Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs ISH (-7) — ISH BY 5

Not So Sticky vs Tater Tots (-7) — NOT SO STICKY BY 5
Cobblestone vs Flying Balls (-8) — FLYING BALLS BY 11
Cobblestone vs Mike’s Detailing (-6) — MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7
PowerPuff Girls vs Show Me Your TDs (-5) — POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 10
Balls Deep vs Puckett (-3) — BALLS DEEP BY 6

Call the Doctor vs Come From Behind (EVEN) — CALL THE DOCTOR BY 6
Birds of War vs Sausage McMuffins (+6) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 7
Birds of War vs SBG (+7) — BIRDS OF WAR BY 10
Mo’ Chicken vs Blue Ballers (-10) — BLUE BALLERS BY 17
716ers vs SBG (EVEN) — SBG BY 6
Mo’ Chicken vs 716ers (+3) — MO’ CHICKEN BY 2

Sticky Laces vs TMA (-4) — TMA BY 7
Select vs Intentional Clowning (-2) — INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 3

 

This should be fun. 

GAME LINES AND OVER/UNDERS: 

 

Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits
Spread: Sticky Bandits -12
Moneyline: Sticky Bandits -400 / Freeballers +275
Over/Under: 60.5

Eyes Downtown vs The Malones
Spread: Eyes Downtown -5
Moneyline: Eyes Downtown -210 / The Malones +170
Over/Under: 62.5

Legends vs What a Dump
Spread: Legends -14
Moneyline: Legends -600 / What a Dump +400
Over/Under: 64.5

Legends vs Mavericks
Spread: Legends -10
Moneyline: Legends -350 / Mavericks +250
Over/Under: 58.5

Buffalo Vice vs Frodo Swaggins
Spread: Frodo Swaggins -12
Moneyline: Frodo Swaggins -500 / Buffalo Vice +325
Over/Under: 61.5

Can’t Touch This vs D-Generation XYZ
Spread: Can’t Touch This -8
Moneyline: Can’t Touch This -300 / D-Generation XYZ +220
Over/Under: 55.5

BQI vs Two Tuddies
Spread: Two Tuddies -2
Moneyline: Two Tuddies -130 / BQI +110
Over/Under: 52.5

Cunning Stunts vs Let’s Get Reccked
Spread: Cunning Stunts -3
Moneyline: Cunning Stunts -145 / Let’s Get Reccked +120
Over/Under: 56.5

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs Wanderers
Spread: Wanderers -4
Moneyline: Wanderers -175 / GHDC +150
Over/Under: 50.5

Bullet Club vs Practice Squad
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Bullet Club -110 / Practice Squad -110
Over/Under: 51.5

Grey Hair – Don’t Care vs ISH
Spread: ISH -7
Moneyline: ISH -275 / GHDC +210
Over/Under: 54.5

Not So Sticky vs Tater Tots
Spread: Tater Tots -7
Moneyline: Tater Tots -260 / NSS +200
Over/Under: 59.5

Cobblestone vs Flying Balls
Spread: Flying Balls -8
Moneyline: Flying Balls -300 / Cobblestone +225
Over/Under: 58.5

Cobblestone vs Mike’s Detailing
Spread: Mike’s Detailing -6
Moneyline: Mike’s -220 / Cobblestone +180
Over/Under: 54.5

PowerPuff Girls vs Show Me Your TDs
Spread: Show Me Your TDs -5
Moneyline: SMYTD -200 / PowerPuff Girls +165
Over/Under: 56.5

Balls Deep vs Puckett
Spread: Puckett -3
Moneyline: Puckett -150 / Balls Deep +125
Over/Under: 62.5

Call the Doctor vs Come From Behind
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: Call the Doctor -110 / CFB -110
Over/Under: 58.5

Birds of War vs Sausage McMuffins
Spread: Sausage McMuffins -6
Moneyline: SMM -230 / Birds of War +185
Over/Under: 60.5

Birds of War vs SBG
Spread: SBG -7
Moneyline: SBG -275 / Birds of War +210
Over/Under: 62.5

Mo’ Chicken vs Blue Ballers
Spread: Blue Ballers -10
Moneyline: Blue Ballers -400 / Mo’ Chicken +275
Over/Under: 63.5

716ers vs SBG
Spread: EVEN
Moneyline: SBG -115 / 716ers -105
Over/Under: 57.5

Mo’ Chicken vs 716ers
Spread: 716ers -3
Moneyline: 716ers -150 / Mo’ Chicken +125
Over/Under: 55.5

Sticky Laces vs TMA
Spread: TMA -4
Moneyline: TMA -180 / Sticky Laces +150
Over/Under: 50.5

Select vs Intentional Clowning
Spread: Intentional Clowning -2
Moneyline: IC -130 / Select +110
Over/Under: 48.5

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

Wait, the Rose Garden actually started construction on the TopperDome? Yes, the rumors are true. Well, not about the TopperDome part, sadly. It’ll be some Pickleball Emporium. Construction is alive and well at the fields, which I’ve been told will make for a different experience if you haven’t been there in a while. Prepare for parking to be annoying at times, and don’t fall in the wrong holes. Essentially, two staples of good TSL advice since the start of the league. 

 

Out of all the divisions, what is the most interesting thing you’re paying attention to this season? The thing I’ll be watching the most this season is how well BQI does this season. I know that they grabbed some better players in order to compete more, but as everyone knows, you go as your QB goes. After an up and down season without a playoff win last season in D5, is Bridget biting off more than she can chew? Is it too much too soon? We shall see. 

 

Do any of the divisions have “sure things”?  Actually, no. Not that the TSL has anything like a “sure thing” ever, there’s always a division that has a very clear favorite in it. This year truly feels like anything can happen in any division. D1 has the Legends, but they can easily lose to Sticky or Eyes Downtown. D2 is a melting pot of teams. D3 has 9 contenders. D4-D6 each have at least 3-4 real contenders. That just means we’re going to bear witness to one of the most exciting seasons in TSL history. 

 

Who are your favorite “Long Shots” to win in each division? I think The Malones (8-1) have an outside shot at it in D1. D2 we’ll go with DXYZ. D3? Give me Let’s Get Reccked. In D4, I’d say the Powerpuff Girls just because you’ll rarely ever get to say they’re a long shot ever again. D5 feels like Come From Behind is a good call, and in D6 I'll go with the Raw Milkers but everyone is so close there. 

 

Which team that has moved up a division (or two!) will have the easiest time in their new home? I think a few teams will perform really well in their new divisions actually, but the one that stands out to me the most are the Flying Balls. They moved up two divisions, but they were still VERY good in D6, almost to the point where maybe they should’ve been moved up automatically but the powers that be for competitive balance. They’re confident and they’re good. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. Nothing says “Welcome Back To TSL Football” quite like a 99% chance of rain in 48 degree weather with 10-20mph winds. 

 

2. Games of the Day: 

1. 10:00 - Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits
2. 11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs The Malones
3. 12:00 - Not So Sticky vs Tater Tots
4. 1:00 - Bullet Club vs Practice Squad
5. 2:00 - Grey Hair Don’t Care vs ISH
6. 3:00 - Balls Deep vs Puckett

 

3. It’s a new season, you’re amped up and excited to play, but PLEASE remember to be respectful to the referees. They had a long offseason too and there’s going to be some rust to knock off, especially if there’s rain. Being a jerk to them this season will get you thrown into the pit. 

 

4. Buddy Lee has been magical at times playing QB, can he really prove it again in D1? 

 

5. If you’re new to the TSL don’t forget that besides this article, we also have the Power Rankings article every week, and the weekly podcast that will ALWAYS need guests! You’re invited! Just keep asking random strangers until you get to Joe K, Tino, Dorene, Garrett, Jeff Krol or anyone that can get you on the show! 

 

6. This really is a “prove it” year for Can’t Touch This. They need to win and get up into D1 for the Fall. 

 

7. Breakfast Club is back, and that makes me happy. We have a really good mix of captains this time around, looking forward to seeing those rosters when that season picks up next week!

 

8. Please remember NOT to bring outside alcohol to the fields. Also, there are rumblings that the Rose Garden might be having a drink cart in order to make things more accessible for you! No word on price drops. 

 

9.  Balls Deep vs Puckett, Bullet Club vs Practice Squad, Not So Sticky vs the Tots…there are a LOT of great opening day matchups! 

 

10. It’s good to be back, as the largest weekly family reunion starts once again. Don’t be afraid to go up to someone new and make a friend. The more people we include, the better this league becomes! 

-GF OUT. 

PLAYOFF THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 10 October 2025 20:50

Published: Friday, 10 October 2025 20:50

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1397

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, are you ready? I said ARE. YOU. READYYYY? We’ve made it. On Saturday, October 11th in the Year of Our Lord 2025 the TSL Universe will descend upon the Leonard T. Alba III Fields behind the Rose Garden with only one thought in their minds: Immortality. After 8 grueling weeks of competition to determine seeding for today, our TSL brothers and sisters will step to the starting line as the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality begins. 

 

This is what you worked for. This is why you put in those extra training sessions. This is why you cut your friends to make your roster better. This is why you’re already side-eyeing some others on your team to wonder “Are we asking them back?” OR “Do I want to come back to this?”. The drive to be the best, to get your picture taken, to make your teammates get random tattoos on their bodies, to beat those jerks on that team you don’t like; that’s why you’re here. There WILL be hard fought battles. There WILL be absolute blowouts. There WILL be upsets you didn’t see coming. There WILL be at least one, maybe two Kieta blowups (but which one?). Over the next two weeks, when the smoke clears, 6 TSL teams will stand tall, and they will be the Undisputed best Social Co-Ed Touch Football teams not just in the area, not just in the state, but the WORLD. 

 

Despite how confident you’re feeling, things will more than likely NOT go to plan for you. There will be missed throws. There will be easy catches dropped. There will be touchdowns by players you thought you didn’t have to worry about. There will be unexpected injuries. There will be players cracking under the pressure as they want to be the very best, like no one ever was. There will be teams shorthanded because Billy, Ronnie, and Susie had to go to Fall Fest instead. There will be sub requests denied because you didn’t prepare properly for this moment. Most of the TSL will be sad when this is all over, trying to talk themselves into how its okay they lost because it was a good game or “Man, if one or two plays went a different way, we would’ve won” (and then they tell everyone they see about those plays 15-20 times before they leave the fields). 

 

But that’s why Playoff Saturday is one of the best sports days of the year. It’s just as good as the first two days of March Madness. The playoffs never go chalk. There will be upsets. There could very well be overtime games (more than likely in the first round of D6, so everyone who plays at 2:00 has to wait even longer and Jeff Krol will pull out all of his hair as we get way behind schedule). This is going to be one of the most exciting days of the year. There’s only one question that really remains: 

 

Will you survive? 

(The following Vegas Odds were based off of 10,000 simulations that B’s Brother put into Madden ‘26 and ran for us. All of the rankings are based on the division, not the league, except of course for the super secret Topper TSL Ranking system only he still knows about.)

Legends: 

Legends — 2-1

 

Contenders:

Eyes Downtown — 5-1
Sticky Bandits — 7-1

 

Pretenders:

Frodo Swaggins — 14-1
What a Dump — 28-1
Mavericks — 75-1
Unit Ha Ha — 166-1
Freeballers — 232-1

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations: 

 

Legends — 5,069
Eyes Downtown — 2,220
Sticky Bandits — 1,378
Frodo Swaggins — 701
What a Dump — 378
Mavericks — 152
Unit Ha Ha — 59
Freeballers — 43

The Story: The Legends just keep Legending, as they’ve had little to no trouble with anyone this season. Honestly, if they didn’t exist, we’d have a pretty exciting and competitive playoffs to watch between the other teams. But the story becomes “Who can beat the Legends?”, as it usually does. The last time they felt this dominant was in the fall of 2023. Fun fact, they lost that title to Eyes Downtown. Right now ED feels like the only team with a shot at taking them down, and chances are they won’t. Sticky has a chance, but they’ve been bitten by the injury bug a bit too much this season, and they hadn’t had Mike Thomas nearly as much this season, which has resulted in a few more losses. 

 

#1 LEGENDS (8-0-0) VS #8 FREEBALLERS (1-7-0)
PF: Legends 43.00 (1st) – Freeballers 23.25 (8th)
PA: Legends 22.00 (1st) – Freeballers 37.62 (6th)
SOS: Legends .420 (8th) – Freeballers .578 (1st)
TSL Rank: Legends 2nd – Freeballers 44th
Past Games: Legends 31-30
Line: Legends (-18)

 

I’m pretty sure the Legends played their second stringers in the earlier 31-30 win. The Freeballers took a step back this season, so another year of an amazing upset seems VERY unlikely. LEGENDS BY 20

#2 EYES DOWNTOWN (6-2-0) VS #7 MAVERICKS (3-5-0)
PF: Eyes Downtown 37.75 (3rd) – Mavericks 29.88 (5th)
PA: Eyes Downtown 26.12 (2nd) – Mavericks 37.62 (6th)
SOS: Eyes Downtown .422 (7th) – Mavericks .516 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Eyes Downtown 8th – Mavericks 37th
Past Games: Eyes Downtown 36-32
Line: Eyes Downtown (-10)

 

Eyes Downtown has had a pretty nice season overall, but they still seem a step behind where they need to be to beat the Legends. They get a Mavericks team who’s built a bit of an identity on winning games they “shouldn’t” in the playoffs as of late. The Mavs still need things to go a little perfectly for them, but as the 4 point loss earlier in the season shows, they can hang here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

 

#3 STICKY BANDITS (4-4-0) VS #6 UNIT HA HA (3-5-0)
PF: Sticky Bandits 38.75 (2nd) – Unit Ha Ha 25.50 (7th)
PA: Sticky Bandits 32.88 (5th) – Unit Ha Ha 40.25 (8th)
SOS: Sticky Bandits .484 (5th) – Unit Ha Ha .578 (1st)
TSL Rank: Sticky Bandits 25th – Unit Ha Ha 33rd
Past Games: Sticky Bandits 51-18
Line: Sticky Bandits (-10)

 

Sticky limped to the finish line like no other team did this season, and what was once a promising season early on now has a few question marks. But that’s for next week. They played Unit Ha Ha very recently and absolutely torched them. HAHA doesn’t have the horses to keep up on offense or defense, but it was still a good first season for them. STICKY BANDITS BY 17

 

#4 WHAT A DUMP (3-4-1) VS #5 FRODO SWAGGINS (3-4-1)
PF: What a Dump 27.75 (6th) – Frodo Swaggins 35.57 (4th)
PA: What a Dump 29.25 (3rd) – Frodo Swaggins 32.71 (4th)
SOS: What a Dump .500 (4th) – Frodo Swaggins .429 (6th)
TSL Rank: What a Dump 29th – Frodo Swaggins 30th
Past Games: What a Dump 28-27 | Tie 22-22
Line: Frodo Swaggins (-2)

These two teams meet for the third time this season, where we’ve already seen a 1 point win for WAD and a tie. This is shaping up to be quite a matchup that has Game of the Day potential. Perhaps overtime is on the way this time? FRODO SWAGGINS BY 1

 

D2

Contenders:

Jabronies — 3-1
Passing While Intoxicated — 3-1
The Malones — 5-1

Can’t Touch This:

Can’t Touch This — 9-1

Pretenders:

Scared Hitless — 48-1
Grey Hair – Don’t Care — 100-1

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations:

Jabronies — 3,508
Passing While Intoxicated — 3,417
The Malones — 1,150
Can’t Touch This — 989
Scared Hitless — 246
Grey Hair - Don’t Care — 690

The Story: The rise of the new contenders is the biggest theme of D2 as The Jabronies added some real firepower and PWI got such a face lift that you can’t fully recognize them anymore. Both of these teams are quite on fire, and with that they earned the byes, leaving the usual suspects (The Malones, Can’t Touch This) in the dust. Scared Hitless and Grey Hair are a little behind the pack, but what we’re getting is a pretty interesting 4 team playoff with a potentially spry 5th that COULD do some damage if things go right. 

 

#3 THE MALONES (5-3-0) VS #6 GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE (0-8-0)
PF: The Malones 37.50 (2nd) – Grey Hair - Don’t Care 21.12 (6th)
PA: The Malones 34.12 (4th) – Grey Hair - Don’t Care 39.25 (6th)
SOS: The Malones .547 (2nd) – Grey Hair - Don’t Care .594 (1st)
TSL Rank: The Malones 19th – Grey Hair - Don’t Care 47th
Past Games: The Malones 39-29
Line: The Malones (-11)

The Malones did everything they could to not get a bye week, and they achieved that goal over the last few weeks of the season, losing enough games to let PWI slide on through to the bye. Perhaps they just wanted to play more football? GHDC might have won more simulations than Scared Hitless, yet have way worse odds, but it just doesn’t matter here. They’ve been running for the bus just to get to the offseason for a couple of weeks now. THE MALONES BY 13

 

#4 CAN’T TOUCH THIS (4-4-0) VS #5 SCARED HITLESS (3-5-0)
PF: Can’t Touch This 34.50 (4th) – Scared Hitless 29.75 (5th)
PA: Can’t Touch This 25.88 (1st) – Scared Hitless 39.00 (5th)
SOS: Can’t Touch This .438 (5th) – Scared Hitless .469 (4th)
TSL Rank: Can’t Touch This 23rd – Scared Hitless 38th
Past Games: Scared Hitless 25-19 | Can’t Touch This 44-6
Line: Can’t Touch This (-9)

 

Scared Hitless feels like they’re THIS close to popping off, but they really haven’t hit their potential yet this season. If anything, they’re planting seeds for the Spring. Can’t Touch This went from top favorites to afterthoughts after a rough start to the season, but since then they’ve found their, ahem, touch. Top defense in the division and peaking at the right time? Hmm. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 14

 

D3

 

Contenders:

Wanderers — 3-1
Bullet Club — 4-1
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons — 7-1
Cunning Stunts — 7-1
D-Generation X Y and Z — 11-1
Buffalo Vice — 18-1
Practice Squad — 20-1

 

GirthQuakes:

GirthQuakes — 131-1

 

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations:

Wanderers — 3,590
Bullet Club — 2,716
Cunning Stunts — 1,455
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons — 1,210
D-Generation X Y and Z — 709
Buffalo Vice — 574
Practice Squad — 399
GirthQuakes — 347

 

The Story: There isn’t a name on this list that would shock the TSL to its foundation if they were named D3 champions. Except the GirthQuakes. But then again, their only win is against the Wanderers. So who knows anything? Bullet Club is a #2 seed with a negative point differential, ILF has fit right in in D3, the Stunts just score a crap ton of points, DXYZ has that veteran savvy, Buffalo Vice has boom or bust potential, and Practice Squad has Playoff B. Good luck trying to figure this one out. 

 

#1 WANDERERS (6-2-0) VS #8 GIRTHQUAKES (1-7-0)
PF: Wanderers 40.88 (2nd) – GirthQuakes 22.00 (8th)
PA: Wanderers 34.75 (5th) – GirthQuakes 39.38 (8th)
SOS: Wanderers .484 (5th) – GirthQuakes .562 (1st)
TSL Rank: Wanderers 10th – GirthQuakes 45th
Past Games: GirthQuakes 35-33
Line: Wanderers (-12)

You’re reading that correctly, the GirthQuakes actually beat the Wanderers this season. They struggle on offense, and on defense, but for some reason they can give the Wanderers a tough matchup. However, this feels more like an anomaly than anything, and now they don’t have the element of surprise this time. The Wanderers will be ready for them. Right? WANDERERS BY 3

 

#2 BULLET CLUB (5-3-0) VS #7 PRACTICE SQUAD (3-5-0)
PF: Bullet Club 28.62 (6th) – Practice Squad 25.38 (7th)
PA: Bullet Club 30.88 (3rd) – Practice Squad 32.38 (4th)
SOS: Bullet Club .469 (7th) – Practice Squad .516 (3rd)
TSL Rank: Bullet Club 13th – Practice Squad 36th
Past Games: Practice Squad 23-14
Line: Bullet Club (-2)

Practice Squad took care of business against Bullet Club not too long ago, and NOW they get Playoff B throwing for them? Seems unfair, but it just feels like we’re going to have a very close game, and Bullet Club is 5-0 in one score games. They have a slightly better offense and defense, which is why they’re favored, but this game should be a pick ‘em. I expect a close game. BULLET CLUB BY 2

 

#3 INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS (5-3-0) VS #6 BUFFALO VICE (3-5-0)
PF: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 32.50 (5th) – Buffalo Vice 37.50 (3rd)
PA: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 26.50 (2nd) – Buffalo Vice 36.62 (6th)
SOS: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons .438 (8th) – Buffalo Vice .531 (2nd)
TSL Rank: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 16th – Buffalo Vice 31st
Past Games: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 34-30
Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-3)

Buffalo Vice comes in as a spry #6 seed, and they may be a bit better than their record reflects. They can score in bunches, and have talent all over the field. ILF came into D3 with a decent start and while the 5-3 record is impressive, they also had the advantage of getting the GQs twice. If you remove those two games, they’re averaging a negative PD as well. If Andy Clark is on… BUFFALO VICE BY 3

#4 CUNNING STUNTS (5-3-0) VS #5 D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (4-4-0)
PF: Cunning Stunts 44.88 (1st) – D-Generation X Y and Z 32.62 (4th)
PA: Cunning Stunts 37.75 (7th) – D-Generation X Y and Z 26.12 (1st)
SOS: Cunning Stunts .516 (3rd) – D-Generation X Y and Z .484 (5th)
TSL Rank: Cunning Stunts 18th – D-Generation X Y and Z 24th
Past Games: Cunning Stunts 52-47
Line: EVEN

The best offense in the division takes on the best defense in the division in a classic 4-5 matchup. Granted, defense didn’t matter in the 99 points they combined for in their meeting this year. The Stunts pretty much need one stop to win this one, but there’s no guarantee they can get it. DXYZ has the ability to pull this one out, but there’s no guarantee they can do it. Go watch this one if you’re at the fields. CUNNING STUNTS BY 4

 

D4

Contenders:

Two Tuddies — 2-1

Puckett All-Stars — 4-1

Just On the Outside:

PowerPuff Girls — 8-1
Mike’s Detailing — 10-1

Pretenders:

Ready to Retire — 15-1
Come from Behind — 29-1
Cobblestone — 93-1

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations:

Two Tuddies — 5,245
Puckett All-Stars — 2,268
PowerPuff Girls — 883
Mike’s Detailing — 729
Ready to Retire — 469
Come from Behind — 294
Cobblestone — 112

 

The Story: The Two Tuddies sold their souls or something to absolutely dominate this season. Or everything went their way. They have a VERY game Puckett All-Stars nipping at their heels, and in the playoffs they tend to go up another level. The PPGs had a rough go of it, but word is that was “we didn’t have Kyle a lot” related. Mike’s Detailing looms as a threat as well, while Ready To Retire, Come From Behind, and Cobblestone all had seasons to forget. 

 

#2 PUCKETT ALL-STARS (6-2-0) VS #7 COBBLESTONE (0-8-0)
PF: Puckett All-Stars 27.00 (4th) – Cobblestone 19.43 (7th)
PA: Puckett All-Stars 20.50 (2nd) – Cobblestone 38.57 (7th)
SOS: Puckett All-Stars .531 (3rd) – Cobblestone .643 (1st)
TSL Rank: Puckett All-Stars 9th – Cobblestone 48th
Past Games: Puckett All-Stars 34-12
Line: Puckett All-Stars (-13)

The Cobblestone reunion didn’t go too well this year. Although they DID have players for every game, so that's an improvement? Puckett’s return to being All-Stars went a lot better as they’ve played really, really well this season. There’s not much to really discuss here otherwise. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 23

 

#3 POWERPUFF GIRLS (5-3-0) VS #6 COME FROM BEHIND (1-7-0)
PF: PowerPuff Girls 26.00 (5th) – Come from Behind 20.75 (6th)
PA: PowerPuff Girls 27.14 (4th) – Come from Behind 35.00 (6th)
SOS: PowerPuff Girls .482 (5th) – Come from Behind .547 (2nd)
TSL Rank: PowerPuff Girls 21st – Come from Behind 43rd
Past Games: PowerPuff Girls 26-6
Line: PowerPuff Girls (-7)

Something wasn’t clicking for the PPGs when they tend to be a ridiculously talented squad. Unsure if the buzzsaw lost it’s bite, or they’ve just been sharpening it for the playoffs. Like most teams, they’re a different squad without their QB, and getting him back for the playoffs against a team that is without their own gorgeous haired, rocket-armed QB this season is a recipe for disaster for CFB. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 18

 

#4 MIKE’S DETAILING (4-4-0) VS #5 READY TO RETIRE (4-4-0)
PF: Mike’s Detailing 32.62 (2nd) – Ready to Retire 28.00 (3rd)
PA: Mike’s Detailing 29.12 (5th) – Ready to Retire 27.12 (3rd)
SOS: Mike’s Detailing .484 (4th) – Ready to Retire .469 (6th)
TSL Rank: Mike’s Detailing 22nd – Ready to Retire 26th
Past Games: Mike’s Detailing 45-6
Line: Mike’s Detailing (-1)

Mike’s Detailing is on the outside looking in for the championship here, and they get the hardest matchup for any potential contender because of it. Ready To Retire isn’t a bad team, at all. They’re pretty good on both sides of the ball, but they don’t FEEL like they have the 3rd best offense and defense in the division. At the end of the day, that 45-6 score looms large in my mind. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 6

D5

 

Contenders:

Balls Deep — 2-1
Blitzkrieg — 4-1
Bridget & Quit It — 5-1
Not So Sticky — 9-1

A Little Spicy:

Stir the Sauce — 15-1

Pretenders:

Pit Harade — 21-1
Sausage McMuffins — 41-1
Mo’ Chicken — 203-1

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations:

Balls Deep — 5,140
Blitzkrieg — 1,985
Bridget & Quit It — 1,451
Not So Sticky — 722
Stir the Sauce — 367
Pit Harade — 192
Sausage McMuffins — 115
Mo’ Chicken — 28

The Story: Balls Deep showed up and showed out, being the best team in D5 from start to finish. D4 is in their future regardless, but they’re pretty big favorites to win D5 here. Blitzkrieg (Fall Version) is putting up points like they usually do, but their defense has been suspect, and that can only lead to disappointment. Bridget & Quit It started off pretty hot but they’ve slowed a little the last couple of weeks. Not So Sticky is also there, doing what they always do. Stir The Sauce is kind of stuck in the middle on their own, not too good, not too bad. Pit Harade has been improving as the season has gone on, while the McMuffins have gone the other way. Mo’ Chicken is around too. 

 

#1 BALLS DEEP (7-1-0) VS #8 MO’ CHICKEN (0-7-1)
PF: Balls Deep 39.38 (1st) – Mo’ Chicken 13.00 (8th)
PA: Balls Deep 18.00 (1st) – Mo’ Chicken 32.00 (8th)
SOS: Balls Deep .469 (6th) – Mo’ Chicken .531 (1st)
TSL Rank: Balls Deep 5th – Mo’ Chicken 46th
Past Games: Balls Deep 44-6
Line: Balls Deep (-20)

Balls Deep is the best at everything in the division, Mo’ Chicken is the worst at everything in the division. What else is there to say? BALLS DEEP BY 24

 

#2 BLITZKRIEG (5-3-0) VS #7 SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (2-5-1)
PF: Blitzkrieg 33.88 (2nd) – Sausage McMuffins 20.50 (6th)
PA: Blitzkrieg 31.50 (7th) – Sausage McMuffins 29.00 (6th)
SOS: Blitzkrieg .531 (1st) – Sausage McMuffins .469 (6th)
TSL Rank: Blitzkrieg 14th – Sausage McMuffins 40th
Past Games: Blitzkrieg 45-35
Line: Blitzkrieg (-5)

I simply do not understand why these two teams simply can not quit each other. Even in a down year for SMM, they still played BK to a 1 score game. Blitzkrieg’s defense DOES help teams stay in games, but I’m not entirely sure that the McMuffins can score nearly enough to keep pace, similar to the regular season meeting. It would be amazing if SMM can win, but this isn’t the Spring. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

#3 BRIDGET & QUIT IT (5-3-0) VS #6 PIT HARADE (3-5-0)
PF: Bridget & Quit It 31.38 (3rd) – Pit Harade 20.88 (5th)
PA: Bridget & Quit It 22.25 (3rd) – Pit Harade 26.62 (5th)
SOS: Bridget & Quit It .484 (5th) – Pit Harade .531 (1st)
TSL Rank: Bridget & Quit It 15th – Pit Harade 35th
Past Games: Bridget & Quit It 45-22
Line: Bridget & Quit It (-7)

BQUIT took the league by storm a little bit, as the spunky, cannon armed lady came out firing and dicing up defenses. It doesn’t hurt that she’s coached by one of the best QB’s of all time either, and his knowledge in general can help the squad in all D5 scenarios pretty easily. Bobby does give them the mental advantage in any game. PH got together and absorbed some of Vaspian’s finest, but it took a couple of weeks to get it on the same page. They’ve improved every week, as shown by last week’s win over NSS. There’s also rumors Bridget won’t make the game, which changes things no matter what. BRIDGET & QUIT IT BY 7 IF SHE SHOWS, PIT HARADE BY 10 IF SHE DOESN’T.

#4 NOT SO STICKY (5-3-0) VS #5 STIR THE SAUCE (4-4-0)
PF: Not So Sticky 25.88 (4th) – Stir the Sauce 19.25 (7th)
PA: Not So Sticky 20.25 (2nd) – Stir the Sauce 24.50 (4th)
SOS: Not So Sticky .469 (6th) – Stir the Sauce .516 (4th)
TSL Rank: Not So Sticky 17th – Stir the Sauce 28th
Past Games: Stir the Sauce 26-21
Line: Not So Sticky (-5)

Stir The Sauce does hold a win over NSS, but that may have been the highlight of their season. Seriously, that was the most points they scored all year, and their overall lack of an offense will be their downfall. Not So Sticky has three losses this season. Losing to Bridget? Okay makes sense. But STS and Pit Harade show they’re a little inconsistent to say the least. But I can’t imagine them losing to STS twice. NOT SO STICKY BY 7

 

D6

Contenders:

Flying Balls — 2-1
The Chargers — 2-1
Blue Ballers — 4-1

Pretenders Tier 1:

Irish Giants — 23-1
Intentional Clowning — 54-1

Pretenders Tier 2:

TMA — 269-1
Select — 269-1

Pretenders Tier 3:

Sticky Laces — 624-1
Raw Milkers — 832-1
Three Tuddies — 908-1
Four Tuddies — 3332-1
Puck Bunnies — ∞-1

 

Times Won In 10,000 B’s Brother Madden Simulations:

Flying Balls — 4,047
The Chargers — 3,372
Blue Ballers — 1,842
Irish Giants — 444
Intentional Clowning — 183
TMA — 36
Select — 29
Raw Milkers — 14
Sticky Laces — 17
Three Tuddies — 13
Four Tuddies — 2
Puck Bunnies — 1

The Story: 12 teams of mayhem was the goal, and that’s what we got from D6 this season. We’ve had two teams in The Chargers and the Flying Balls both show up and dominate this season. The Blue Ballers and the Irish Giants both had really good seasons, even if they’re a bit overshadowed. And then you can just throw the rest of the teams in a blender because that’s essentially what D6 was this season, and it was wild. 

 

#5 INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (5-3-0) VS #12 PUCK BUNNIES (0-8-0)
PF: Intentional Clowning 28.25 (4th) – Puck Bunnies 17.50 (11th)
PA: Intentional Clowning 26.25 (6th) – Puck Bunnies 40.25 (12th)
SOS: Intentional Clowning .500 (5th) – Puck Bunnies .484 (10th)
TSL Rank: Intentional Clowning 20th – Puck Bunnies 49th
Past Games: Intentional Clowning 34-0
Line: Intentional Clowning (-12)

Despite the Puck Bunnies being a feel good story of an all female team, there’s a lot of work to be done with them. Intentional Clowning has been steady all season, there’s next to no chance of an upset here. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 27

 

#6 TMA (4-4-0) VS #11 STICKY LACES (2-6-0)
PF: TMA 24.75 (7th) – Sticky Laces 21.38 (8th)
PA: TMA 28.12 (8th) – Sticky Laces 27.38 (7th)
SOS: TMA .547 (1st) – Sticky Laces .406 (12th)
TSL Rank: TMA 27th – Sticky Laces 42nd
Past Games: TMA 42-27
Line: TMA (-1)

TMA ended up the 6th seed after a .500 season, but this is where the SOS really comes into play here. TMA played the hardest schedule in D6 this year, which actually means something in this division. It should prove helpful in the playoffs. Sticky Laces has seemed to kind of cruise along this year. They actually have had the easiest D6 schedule, and they were only 2-6. Yikes. TMA BY 13

 

#7 THREE TUDDIES (3-5-0) VS #10 RAW MILKERS (2-6-0)
PF: Three Tuddies 19.00 (9th) – Raw Milkers 27.12 (5th)
PA: Three Tuddies 30.88 (9th) – Raw Milkers 36.25 (11th)
SOS: Three Tuddies .531 (2nd) – Raw Milkers .531 (2nd)
TSL Rank: Three Tuddies 32nd – Raw Milkers 41st
Past Games: —
Line: Raw Milkers (-1)

These two teams didn’t meet this season, and they’re similar in a lot of ways. They both had hellacious schedules, and as a result they struggled a bit. However, the Raw Milkers have a better offense than the 3Tuds and that’s going to propel them to victory. RAW MILKERS BY 3

 

#8 SELECT (3-5-0) VS #9 FOUR TUDDIES (3-5-0)
PF: Select 18.38 (10th) – Four Tuddies 14.62 (12th)
PA: Select 23.12 (4th) – Four Tuddies 31.75 (10th)
SOS: Select .500 (5th) – Four Tuddies .484 (10th)
TSL Rank: Select 34th – Four Tuddies 39th
Past Games: —
Line: Select (-6)

It’s astounding that the 4Tudz won 3 games the season averaging just over FOURTEEN points. The Flying Balls just scored 14 points in the time it took you to read that sentence. Select struggles a bit on offense themselves, but they have a lock down defense that may pitch a shutout this week. SELECT BY 6

 

ROUND 2! 

(I’ll be using my predictions here, of course)

#1 THE CHARGERS (7-1-0) VS #10 RAW MILKERS (2-6-0)
PF: The Chargers 41.38 (3rd) – Raw Milkers 27.12 (5th)
PA: The Chargers 19.62 (2nd) – Raw Milkers 36.25 (11th)
SOS: The Chargers .500 (5th) – Raw Milkers .531 (2nd)
Past Games: The Chargers 49–35
Line: The Chargers (-15)

The Raw Milkers are really going to have a great time in the 10 minutes between winning their first game and this game starting. After that? Pain. THE CHARGERS BY 20

 

#2 FLYING BALLS (7-1-0) VS #8 SELECT (3-5-0)
PF: Flying Balls 45.12 (1st) – Select 18.38 (10th)
PA: Flying Balls 18.50 (1st) – Select 23.12 (4th)
SOS: Flying Balls .516 (4th) – Select .500 (5th)
Past Games: Flying Balls 37–20
Line: Flying Balls (-16)

Select did okay slowing the Flying Balls down in the regular season, as they “only” scored 37 points. I like Select a lot, but this is just the FB’s are too damn good. FLYING BALLS BY 17

 

#3 BLUE BALLERS (6-2-0) VS #6 TMA (4-4-0)
PF: Blue Ballers 44.62 (2nd) – TMA 24.75 (7th)
PA: Blue Ballers 26.12 (5th) – TMA 28.12 (8th)
SOS: Blue Ballers .500 (5th) – TMA .547 (1st)
Past Games: Blue Ballers 50–8
Line: Blue Ballers (-11)

 

The Blue Ballers feel like the little brother of The Chargers and Flying Balls right now, but that’s still impressive to be listed with them. This team can SCORE with anyone, they just have more trouble stopping them than the others do. They didn’t have much trouble with TMA last time, but I expect TMA to give them a much closer game this time. I think if TMA didn’t just play a game before coming to this track meet, I’d be tempted to take them. But they did, so. BLUE BALLERS BY 9

 

#4 IRISH GIANTS (6-2-0) VS #5 INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (5-3-0)
PF: Irish Giants 26.00 (6th) – Intentional Clowning 28.25 (4th)
PA: Irish Giants 19.88 (3rd) – Intentional Clowning 26.25 (6th)
SOS: Irish Giants .500 (5th) – Intentional Clowning .500 (5th)
Past Games: Irish Giants 36–29
Line: Irish Giants (-2)

 

The Irish Giants had a great season and they were rewarded with a bye, now they get IC in a playoff game where it’s going to be a dogfight. IC does a little better job of scoring, but the Giants’ defense is allowing less than 20 points a game. Expect them to get some stops to make the difference. IRISH GIANTS BY 3

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• What are the Sportsbook odds for these games? I want to bet on them with my friends! 

 

Legends vs Freeballers — ML: Legends -950 / Freeballers +950 — O/U 63
Eyes Downtown vs Mavericks — ML: Eyes Downtown -400 / Mavericks +400 — O/U 66
Sticky Bandits vs Unit Ha Ha — ML: Sticky Bandits -375 / Unit Ha Ha +375 — O/U 69
Frodo Swaggins vs What a Dump — ML: Frodo Swaggins -120 / What a Dump +120 — O/U 63

The Malones vs Grey Hair – Don’t Care — ML: Malones -420 / GHDC +420 — O/U 66
Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless — ML: CTT -340 / Scared Hitless +340 — O/U 65

Wanderers vs GirthQuakes — ML: Wanderers -500 / GirthQuakes +500 — O/U 69
Bullet Club vs Practice Squad — ML: Bullet Club -130 / Practice Squad +130 — O/U 59
Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Buffalo Vice — ML: ILF -145 / Buffalo Vice +145 — O/U 67
Cunning Stunts vs D-Generation X Y and Z — ML: Even (–110 each) — O/U 71

Puckett All-Stars vs Cobblestone — ML: Puckett -560 / Cobblestone +560 — O/U 53
PowerPuff Girls vs Come from Behind — ML: PowerPuff -240 / CFB +240 — O/U 54
Mike’s Detailing vs Ready to Retire — ML: Mike’s Detailing -115 / RTR +115 — O/U 58

Balls Deep vs Mo’ Chicken — ML: Balls Deep -1400 / Mo’ Chicken +1400 — O/U 51
Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins — ML: Blitzkrieg -190 / Sausage McMuffins +190 — O/U 61
Bridget & Quit It vs Pit Harade — ML: BQI -250 / Pit Harade +250 — O/U 58
Not So Sticky vs Stir the Sauce — ML: NSS -185 / Stir the Sauce +185 — O/U 45

Intentional Clowning vs Puck Bunnies — ML: IC -500 / Puck Bunnies +500 — O/U 55
TMA vs Sticky Laces — ML: TMA -115 / Sticky Laces +115 — O/U 51
Three Tuddies vs Raw Milkers — ML: Raw Milkers -115 / Three Tuddies +115 — O/U 56
Select vs Four Tuddies — ML: Select -210 / Four Tuddies +210 — O/U 38

There’s going to be some high scoring games this week. 

 

• Which underdogs have the best chance to win this week in each division? What A Dump, Scared Hitless, Practice Squad, Ready To Retire, Pit Harade, Raw Milkers.

 

 

 

• Rank the #1 seeds in order from least to most vulnerable in the playoffs. 

 

Balls Deep - Legends - Two Tuddies - Jabronies - The Chargers (just because of the Flying Balls) - Wanderers. 

 

 

• If no #1 seeds win their division’s championship, who do you predict the winners will be? Sticky Bandits, Can’t Touch This, Cunning Stunts, PowerPuff Girls, Not So Sticky, Flying Balls. Flying Balls feels like cheating, so, Blue Ballers. 

 

 

 

• Who is coming into the playoffs hot? Who is cold? Besides the obvious ones? What A Dump, PWI, Cunning Stunts are all hot right now. Sticky Bandits, The Malones, and the PowerPuff Girls aren’t the best right now. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR PLAYOFF SATURDAY

 

• Almost like clockwork, after an entire season of baking in the sun, you’re looking at a rainy, 60 degree day tomorrow. Adjust those game plans. 

 

 

 

• Double check to see what colors your opponent is wearing, if you’re the worse seed, bring an alternate color. 

 

 

 

• The refs are chomping at the bit to throw you out of a game if you’re being a jerk. So DON’T BE JERKS TO THE REFS. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless

• 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - What A Dump vs Frodo Swaggins

• 1:00 - TMA vs Sticky Laces

• 2:00 - Irish Giants vs Intentional Clowning (probably?)

• The Banquet is coming! We’re headed back to the Lafayette on Dec 5th for the best party around! Here's a link to sign up! Fall 2025 Banquet Registration - Google Forms

 

 

 

•  Winter session is coming back to Sportsplex in just a few short months!  An "official" announcement is coming this weekend, but I like to break the news here first.  Here's a link to sign up today: Winter 2026 - Team Registration Form - Google Forms

 

 

 

• Please be on time for your games. In fact, be early. With the potential for overtime games pushing certain fields back, it can only cause chaos for the D6 games later on in the day. 

 

 

 

• If you want to make some money on a long shot bet, you can parlay both The Chargers and Flying Balls to lose. It’s a +7800 parlay. It’s basically throwing money away though. 

 

 

 

• Maybe the GirthQuakes will upset the Wanderers? Hmm. 

 

 

 

• You’ve waited all season to get to this point. Immortality is within reach. Go hard, push yourself, and put it all on the line for your teammates. If you don’t, why are you even here? Good luck, TSLers. 

 

 

-GF OUT