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Week 1 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 15 April 2022 12:05
Published: Friday, 15 April 2022 12:05
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 35

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the time has arrived! 

 

After an offseason that took nearly forever (unless you count the weird, Topper-less Topper Winter League I got a few “hate mails” about), on April 16th, in the Year of Our Lord 2022, 52 teams and over 500 individual players will descend upon the fields at the Rose Garden at the Angry Buffalo as they once again begin the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. 

 

For those of you that are brand new to the league, or haven’t read the website before, allow me to introduce myself. I’m The Godfather. I currently reside in my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. I used to be a part of the TSL in the early days, but life had other plans and took me away from my beloved league. As a way to keep in touch with everyone, I began writing this article many moons ago, giving expert picks and advice along the way. And once again I find myself in my study, sipping on some bourbon, preparing yet another extremely accurate season predictions article. Honestly, you shouldn’t even worry about playing the season, and you can just hand the trophy to whoever I pick here. I’m never wrong. 

 

Regardless, Topper Sports League, we are at a very interesting point in the TSL. This happens every little bit, but our league is going through some changes. There are a LOT of TSL Superstars and teams missing from the rosters this year. It starts of course at the top, where Public Enemy, arguably the greatest team in the TSL’s history, isn’t back. Chris Cole is gone (despite him being on a roster, which excited me until I was told it was just for fun) which means the race for “Best QB in the TSL” is on. But wait! The person who would be the top pick for that mantel, Matty Ice, has also taken a sabbatical from the league. A TSL without A&A AND Public Enemy just seems crazy. Oh, it gets worse. Tight Ends In Motion is back, but they’re not the same, as they’ve lost Emily Curry and Robin Makula for at least this season, maybe more. No Matty? No Emily? That’s right kids, Matty’s Angels, whom we’ve watched grow up from D5 all the way to “Probably should’ve won D3 last season but the Evil Topper ruined things with a bad schedule” status. That’s what happens when most of your team is pregnant though. So, congratulations are back in order for Emily, Margo, and the First Lady of the TSL, Val Bernal are all out on the IR with “Pregnancy”. You hate to see prime years wasted like this, but we understand. . We also lost Breast Friends and Victorious Secret, so our big gender team boom has blown up too. Top Shot imploded and it doesn’t look like there will be a Blase LaDuca run team this season either. Passless Chaps wasted their potential and took a hike. Gucci and Losing Streak went back to the minor leagues after decent runs here in the majors. All in all, we lost a lot of talent. 

 

But I’m not here to talk about what we lost anymore. Because what’s important is who’s still here. We’ve got quite the influx of brand new teams to the TSL and I’m eager to get to know the newest names and faces of the TSL. The last time we hit a “changing of the guard” as Lenny used to call it, we had the emergence of TSL stars like the aforementioned Matty Ice, Joe K, Sticky Bandits, Carrie with a K, Brent/Ferger, Katie Keller, 40 Year Plan Guy, Every Scott Keller there is, and so many more. 

 

What does that mean for you, new person to the league who’s just getting into things? It means YOU could be the next TSL superstar. All you need to do is show us some moxie and rock out, and the world of Social Co-Ed Football could be your oyster. Buying a couple of buckets of Coronas for Topper also helps immensely. In this league, being a superstar is more about who you are as person than what you do on the fields. Trust me. 

 

It’s a brave new world out here TSL. Another “Changing of the Guard”. The most fun we’re going to have is to see who’s going to take the bull by the horns and become a household name for us. 

 

Man, it’s great to be back. 

 

New this season! The “Championship Odds” are no longer coming straight from Vegas, but they are now coming from B’s Brother’s FanDrool SportsBook! Download the App today and get grindin’! The game lines are still from the TSLQBPRC, so yell at them. 

 

D1:

 

Don’t adjust your screens, you’re not seeing things. This season is one of those lame “D1 transition” seasons that come along every so often. Only 4 teams were tough enough to go for the crown of “Undisputed Best Social Co-Ed Football Team In WNY”. With Public Enemy gone, and TEIM not exactly what they used to be, things couldn’t be more up for grabs. And while there’s some familiar faces still in D1, its the brand new team that’s going to be stealing the headlines.

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Legends (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (8-1)

Sticky Bandits (15-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: I know what you’re thinking. “Who the hell are the Legends?”. Well, with the fall of Public Enemy, Travis Cleavenger-Bernal seemingly took the “Top players” conversation from last season and used it as his own personal shopping list for a brand new team. After years of courting (and wearing down) Mike Boccio and Greg Osika to play with him, he finally succeeded, much like Steve Urkel eventually wore down Laura Winslow after a decade of trying. But that’s not all, Travis would go on to add the only two players would could really hold a candle to Boccio, Sean Weisansal and Chris Nelson, also destroying the hopes and dreams of anyone else thinking about joining D1. 4 of the top players in the league are on the same team. With Joey Batts at the helm, this team is one of the best we’ve ever seen on paper. Good luck, everyone else. Eyes Downtown returns mostly intact, and Bobby McConnell has his heart set on finally being the true number 1 QB in the league, without question. Tight Ends In Motion lose a lot at QB, and on the female side of things. It’s not a rebuild, but it’s a re-tool and I’m not entirely sure if the team will be on the same page as it was in recent seasons. And then there’s Sticky. They’re “still here” and aren’t going anywhere else. They have fantastic knowledge of the game, but not always the horses to help them keep pace with the rest of the division. They won’t be a cakewalk by any means, but it’d be surprising to see them with the trophy at the end of the day. Legends walk away with the D1 title after the smoke clears, spurring Cole to come out of retirement like he’s The Undertaker in the fall. 

 

The Games: 

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Sticky is only a TD behind based on the respect given to the TEIMs of the past. This is the opening matchup Sticky Nation wants to show they’re for real. STICKY BANDITS BY 2

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - D1 title game vibes already. It’ll be interesting to see how prepared the Legends are for this first matchup because you *know* Bobby has had his troops running practices for months now. I’m aware that I picked the Legends to win it all, but lets watch them gel a bit first. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4

 

D2:

 

Yeah, there’s a bright green A&A sized hole in this division this season (props to Topper for leaving their spot unfilled as a memorial to them) as 7 teams of the usual suspects and a D3 champion moving on up battle for the title that anyone can win. 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Passed Our Prime (4-1)

Scared Hitless (6-1)

DILFS (8-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (12-1)

The Notorious BNB (13-1)

When Dove Cries (15-1)

 

Preseason Predictions:  I don’t like any of these odds. Like, at all. POP was abysmal as a team last season, yet the addition of Sean Weisensal essentially vaults them to the top. Sean and Keyon on the same field will give opposing defenses nightmares. Their biggest issue will remain Hogan doing dumb shit or they have weaker girls than some of the other contenders. Scared Hitless, however, doesn’t suffer from the same fate. They still boast arguably the top females in the division, and they’re a team that’s been coming on the last few seasons. Dylan Day will always be the reason they win or lose, but Jeff, Kynan, and Johnny F’N Football will help keep this team on course. The DILFs apparently have taken Travis back again like the girlfriend who keeps getting left for someone better but once they’re gone, he comes back. They need some self-respect and have to stand up to him about this. Jokes aside, they have league legend Dubey back behind center to add the usual team here, so as always they’ll be a tough out. Bullet Club goes back to the QB well for the 12th straight season, but they caught a good one with Dylan Jaloza. They also have a sprinkling of the ghost of PE with Tommy Hughes and Paul Johnson now on the roster. I also see Chris Cole, but that’s more In Memoriam than anything i was told. Maggie LaMantia being added to this roster gives BC some speed they’re usually sorely lacking. Some nice additions here if it works out. Grey Hair makes the jump to D2, and I’m proud of them for it. They’re going to do just fine here. Dave Eickoff has been running his team quite well for 37 years or so now, and they just keep getting better. People don’t know it yet but Nick Voss is a superstar. You can’t go wrong with Rawdog, who could be a top player in this league if he’d focus a little more to take the next leap. Fun Fact: Amber Hay is one of, if not THE most underrated female in the TSL right now. She’s only getting better. The BNB is pretty much the same as they always are. They’re only going to go as far as Alex lets them. They’ll be in every single game though. Bringing up the rear is When Dove Cries, who somehow lost Both Clarkes and a Kelly this offseason. There’s some new names here, but most notably Cheryl (she only needs one name) joins the team which gives them the best female they’ve ever had. Uncle Topper just had surgery though, so who knows how long it’ll take him to round into form. The Prediction is that Scared Hitless walks away with the title over the DILFs. 

 

The Games: 

 

Scared Hitless vs Bullet Club (+7) - This is a good one right off the bat. I’m going to give Hitless the advantage because they just have more speed than BC, and they’ve been able to have some nice continuity. SCARED HITLESS BY 5

 

Dilfs vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+3) - Depends who shows up for the Dilfs but this is an excellent first test for GHDC in thier D2 debut. DILFS BY 3

 

Passed Our Prime vs The Notorious BNB (+10) - POP was popping off in the winter league I hear, and they only improved the roster since. BNB doesn’t have the horses to keep up. POP BY 13

 

D3: 

 

The missing teams in D1 and D2, plus the lack of the Angels this season causes a bit of shuffling to give us quite an interesting D3 here. 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Untouchaballs (3-1)

Frodo Swaggins (5-1)

Itches and Ohs (6-1)

Sleezin Szn (8-1)

Freeballers (12-1)

Buffalo Vice (12-1)

Show Me Dem TDs (15-1)

4th and Something (20-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: Jeremy Burr, its time for you to win D3. The stars have aligned for Burr to lead the Untouchaballs to new heights. The teams that would give him trouble aren’t in his way this season, and his team has only gotten better. Matt Helm, Greg Mozicki (who i’ve been told shedded his beautiful hair, which is a shame), and Melanie Linsmair lead an attack that’s, well, Untouchable. Frodo Swaggins comes in a little older and not much wiser. Thier biggest addition is that of Blase LaDuca which is certainly something. Frodo has been a D3 favorite for 5 seasons now, and they’ve yet to cash in. If they take this season seriously, they can finally reach the peak. Itches and Ohs. Our D4 champs moved up to D3 with their sights set on winning it all. And who’s to say they won’t? They return a mostly (if not completely) intact team and they have one of the best QBs in the division, who doesn’t care what you think about him. Their three headed female monster will be tough to stop. They’ll be there at the end of the season, much to the chagrin of many. Sleezin Szn, which is the probable worst team name we have in the TSL this season, is mostly made up of the Last Dance team from the fall. They boast Newman at QB to go along with a couple of Bargnessis, a couple of Beckers, a Rachel, and a Parker. Oh, and a Doreen, who’s the only one to not get the “old people are retiring” memo.  They’ll be a very tough out. Last time I talked smack about the Freeballers, they won the whole thing. That felt like a different team though. I still think 40 Year Plan Guy’s squad can make some noise, but it just feels like they’re missing a true difference maker on their team to push them back into title contention. Perhaps that person is already on the roster, but who is it? Buffalo Vice makes the jump up to D3 after dominating D4 for the better part of a few seasons now. Granted, some playoff heartache didn’t lead to the many titles they should’ve won, but they’re up in D3 anyway. Caitlyn Mason is just a world beating superstar who just keeps getting better no matter who she plays with. But also, don’t sleep on the rest of the girls here. They’re sneaky good. The secret will be out this season. When Seth shows up on time, he’s a fantastic QB. This team just knows what they need to be doing to win, provided they stay healthy, which always seems to be an issue. Show Me Dem TDs added some new faces this season, which was nearly a must when you consider the troubles they had a season ago with getting bodies to the fields. Jon Senn has been a mastermind at times during his career and I have a feeling he built a squad that will 100% surprise people this season. Or not. Finally, 4th and Something has a lot of Kellers, a future Keller (Hey Stegs!), and a different Scotty. The youngest Keller gets to play this season with the family, so hopefully the #1 family of the TSL can compete, but D3 might be a smidge too high for this team. Prediction: I’m all in on Burr. Untouchables to the moon. 

 

The Games: 

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+6) - A hell of an opening game for both teams. I think right now Frodo has a bit more to prove, so I’m going to take them. They tend to start hot anyway. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 8

 

Show Me Dem TDs vs 4th And Something (+7) - It’s hard to tell what we’re going to get from SMDTDs right away, but you know what you’re going to get from the Keller Squad. Baby Keller and Katie Keller show up and ball out. 4th And SOMETHING BY 14

 

Itches and Ohs vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - D4 rivals get to face off right away in D3. This could oddly enough be a playoff preview. Itches and Ohs get thier rings before the game and inspire themselves to pull this one out too. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

 

D4: 

 

D4 seems to be the place to party as 12 teams will battle for the championship, and even more teams wanted to be a part of this Social Co-Ed Football Battle Royale. 

 

Odds To Win The Championship: 

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Practice Squad (6-1)

Zack Attack (8-1)

Puckett All-Stars (10-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (12-1)

Vaspian (14-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (15-1)

XMD (17-1)

TOX (20-1)

Today’s Feast (20-1)

Can’t Touch This (25-1)

Varsity Has Beens (30-1)

 

Preseason Predictions: New teams or returning teams galore here! Let’s start at the top where the new standard bearers for gender team excellence, Cunning Stunts, reside at the top. This ladies team has been floating around the top of D4 for some time now, and with their toughest competition in recent years out of the way, the path is cleared for what everyone wants: a gender team title. Practice Squad looks to regain their momentum from the past, which was absolutely derailed last year by injuries and more injuries. I would HOPE they’re healthier than before, and by Week 5 everyone will forget how awful Kenny was last season. And B. And just everyone. It was a tough year for these D4 hopefuls, but they’ve put it behind them. Zack Attack was the breakout winner at the bar last year, routinely dominating Topper in darts and hanging out a lot. Even more exciting, it seems they have three Deths on the roster, which is easily the most intimidating strategy I’ve seen employed in quite some time. Up next is the poster children for “You’re going to underestimate them and they’re going to beat you” in the long running Puckett All-Stars. They’re mostly the same group that’s grown old together, so they’re all on the same page, always in sync, right down to the joint pain and pulling muscles while sneezing. A very smart team that will somehow go 3-6 this season, sneak into the playoffs, and probably win the whole thing as a 7 seed. Don’t say i didn’t warn you. Spinelli’s Plumbing finds themselves in D4, and they still look nothing like the teams that went approximately 2-84 in D6 for all those seasons. Payton’s squad has been one of the more dominant offenses in the TSL for the last few seasons, lead by Nick Hawes’ golden arm, Ryan Rusin and a gaggle of talented women. Katie Swanson gets most of the press, but every single female on that team is extremely capable. They’ve conquered D5 and D6, and now they have a D4 championship in their sights. Vaspian was markedly improved last season and they still have the core that won a lot of games last time we saw them. Brian O has made strides as a QB, while a talented cast of characters that more people are going to hear about this season are coming together as a team. I was concerned when I saw their winter session went poorly, but apparently most of their regulars didn’t play or got hurt so that shouldn’t affect this coming season. ILF is certainly a team that leads the league in new Breakfast Club captains. Arm Wrestling Loser extraordinaire Andrew Kicak has brought the Maroon Menace back for another go, which means we’ll have the pleasure of watching Joe Miano throw the ball to a bunch of dudes who will more than likely drop the ball. The females will be tasked with carrying this franchise. I see you XMD. XMD used to be DMX (RIP) but then time and age took hold of them. A once perennial D2 title contender, they’ve returned to have some fun. It’s always great seeing a good group of people make the comeback to the TSL, and if the cobwebs can be properly dusted off, look out. Jeff Jenkins should be immediately thrust into the the Top QB in D4 conversation, even if he’s a fraction of what he used to be. At least, I’m just assuming he’s the QB. We’ll find out soon. TOX rolls into D4 after an offseason that saw them be quite competitive indoors. I know they have to be excited to see how that progress translate to the field. Overrated QB Adrian Cannon looks to lead TOX to the promised land, but it’ll more or less be Aaron, Harlan, and the most honorable prophet, league teddy bear, and first ballot TSL Alcoholic Hall of Famer Dave Walter bailing out the over and underthrows coming their way. Today’s Feast has returned, and that’s awesome. There’s so much about them I don’t know, but I’ll always give a returning team the proper bump over some brand new ones. Which brings me to Cant Touch This. I don’t know this brand new squad at all but I’ve got a good feeling about them. Probably because they have 5 women on the roster, so if two of them turn out to be stars, then they’ve already won half the battle. Finally, we have the Varsity Has Beens, which were given just unfair odds. Maddie Norton is an emerging superstar (seriously, she was on Cobblestone and actually was good there. Anything can happen in the TSL it seems) but beyond her I don’t recognize any of the other names here. Besides what seems to be half of her family, which is exciting. Here are some more people that are going to breakout and be known as the season rolls on. Prediction: Chaos will reign, I know it. The Stunts will blow a slam dunk championship, and Spinelli’s will continue to score insane amounts of points on thier way to a D4 title. See you in D3 guys. 

 

The Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs XMD (+6) - My instinct is to treat XMD (who I will undoubtedly call DMX many times this season, just change your name now please) as the XMD of old, but the truth is we haven’t seen them in a while. We know what we’re getting with Puckett. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 12

 

Vaspian vs Can’t Touch This (+9) - Like I said before, I don’t know what CTT brings to the table (my spies are going to have to work OT this week) but if they’re going to compete, Vaspian is quite the litmus test to start with. Vaspian keeps up the good times. VASPIAN BY 7

 

Zack Attack vs Varsity Has Beens (+14) - 14 is a lot of points, but ZA can routinely get to the high 20s without issue. VHB will be “figuring it out” to some degree in thier first game and it’s almost unfair they get to deal with the Elphicks and that crazy good defense. ZACK ATTACK BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILF (+10) - The Stunts are the favorites, and while ILF has some capable players defensively, I’m not sure they’ll have the ability to get the gender TDs needed to keep pace here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Practice Squad vs TOX (+3) - Despite what i said above, TOX is going to be better than people think. They’ll keep it close here for sure, but Practice Squad has more to prove this season. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Today’s Feast (+14) - Spinelli’s gets a good draw from the schedule gods here to start in D4. Today’s Feast still was working on “figuring it out” last season, and they run into the buzzsaw that is Spinelli’s right away. Not the best way to smooth out the kinks of the offseason. SPINELLI’S BY 18

 

D5: 

 

TMA (4-1)

Come From Behind (6-1)

Tater Tots (8-1)

Not So Sticky (9-1)

716 (11-1)

Red Zone Mafia (12-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (15-1)

Two Tuddies (20-1)

Cobblestone (20-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: TMA finally moves up to D5 like they should’ve earlier. On paper, they jump into D5 as the most complete team out of everyone. The twin towers should be back on defense, which hurts anyone’s offense game. Something really started to click for them last year, so maybe Prim is a good coach? More than likely he just bought everyone PEDs or something though. Good guys, a good QB, and above average girls will have them in the thick of the D5 race. Come From Behind celebrates thier 50th season this year I’m pretty sure, which is impressive when you consider this is our 23rd season or so as a league. They were one of the top teams in the division last season, and expect more of the same this year. Tater Tots make their return as well, and in case anyone forgot, they too were on the up and up before having to take some time away. So glad to have Dave Marcus’ Beard (i was not informed if he shaved, which would be tragic) and the gang back for another season. Not So Sticky is just here to drink and to almost accidentally win championships it seems. This lowly band of misfits from Sticky Bandits past (see: the cuts) are here to shotgun beers and have a good time, exactly what the TSL is all about. 716 showed us lots of potential last season before slowing down a bit for the playoffs. Derek Pew is an underrated QB, and he’s put together a squad that’s got more than a few players (male and female) that are poised to breakout. Who’s it going to be? Red Zone Mafia is the latest in the Lattuca family teams that tend to bring out some of the absolute best jerseys in league history. (Shredders and Ultimate Warriors come to mind) Even if they’re going to claim time is slowing them down, I’m willing to bet they put a tough squad on the field every single week. And they’ll more than likely look good doing it too. PWI is the brainchild of a Colorado Mike fever dream, and while i have no idea who’s going to war with him, i can only assume they’re going to be better at the bar than on the field. And that’s okay. I know nothing about Two Tuddies, and they’re more than welcome to email me about what they bring to the table. And finally, we have Cobblestone! Darry Carr QB Superstar is back and he’s ready to football all over the place. The problem is we’re not even sure who he’s throwing to this season just yet, but I know it’ll be good. If there’s one guy you want to share a beer with this season, it’s Darryl. Be kind. Prediction: The Tater Tots knock off TMA to toss some gasoline on thier rivalry, setting up a very fun fall.  

 

The Games: 

 

TMA vs PWI (+10) - The reigning D6 champs get a brand new team to pick on as they shake the offseason rust off and roll into D5. There’s no reason to think they won’t walk away with a W, unless of course Brent is missing this week. TMA BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Cobblestone (+7) - I think the combined age of the QBs here is over 100 and that’s certainly something. CFB is a pretty well oiled machine at this point, while Cobblestone tends to still be putting it together early on. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

 

Tater Tots vs Two Tuddies (+3) - Two teams that didn’t play in the fall are on even footing for sure, but give me the team that’s won in the league before. TATER TOTS BY 11

 

716 vs Red Zone Mafia (EVEN) - A coin flip between two teams looking to make the leap into the championship chatter in D5. A big early season game for D5. RED ZONE MAFIA BY 1

 

D6: 

 

Our last division with a lot of interesting teams in it. We have a couple of teams from before that used to all wear red in Blitzkrieg, Travis Henry’s Kids and Lenny’s Ladies, a couple of teams that moved down in Woodpeckers and Lettuce Win, and a team that’s retooled and making its comeback under a new name in Southside. 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids (2-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Woodpeckers (7-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (11-1)

Lettuce Win (13-1)

Southside (14-1)

 

Preseason Prediction: THK is the class of the league as they have the best player in the division in Pistol Pete and the best QB in John Langley and his rocket arm. Not to mention the roster boasts 5 women who can all play, and some real nice complimentary dudes, they should be the favorite to win. As long as Langley keeps his head on straight. My favorites in Blitzkrieg are back, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Ethan, Alex, Light Red Hoodie Guy, Do It All Tom, and some of the most underrated women in the league are back to finally take the title. The Woodpeckers are in D6. I’m pretty sure we did this once before and we had to move them straight to D4. Although, other than the Buscaglia’s, and future D6 MVP candidate Dan Farinacci, it looks like they’ve had a bit of an overhaul. I can’t imagine them doing the “Monstars” thing again. Right? Right? Lenny’s Ladies is back with Joe K at the helm and a roster that looks pretty similar to that of years past. Any team that can trot out Jaimie Warren, Caitlyn Mason, Katie Swanson, Misty Himes, and Rachel Parker at once is going to be a tough team to play against. These girls can make anyone look good, and judging by thier QB, they’ll need to. Lettuce Win drops a division to D6, which should be good for them after getting dunked on in D5 a bit last season. There’s no shame in dropping down a division, and it can often be one of the best things a team can do for themselves while they figure it out. Southside brings up the rear, but thats mostly due to them being unknowns. Chances are their odds will only go down by the halfway mark of the season. Prediction: Langley falters in the championship and Blitzkrieg makes me proud and they win the D6 title. 

 

The Games: 

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Southside (+9) - THK gets the new team in Week 1, and now they’re all fired up because of how i just wrote that they’ll lose the title game. They take it out on Southside. THK BY 17

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Lettuce Win (EVEN) - While I’m not sure if the Lettuce Girls can keep pace with Lenny’s Ladies, it’ll be interesting to see if the men can dominate on thier side. LETTUCE WIN BY 3

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:



1.     Is it going to rain? At current glance, no. That’s because the forecast is for snow. The biggest worry for the league right now is if the weather is going to allow us to play. If the weather reports are correct though, it seems likely we’ll cancel week 1 in order to preserve the fields. Both Thoughts AND Prayers are encouraged. 



2.              Who’s going to emerge as the next TSL Superstar? The stars have aligned and the ball is in your court. Come on the podcast and tell us why you’re amazing. Want to write an article for one week about your experience? Do it. Make yourselves known! 



3.              Where’s the Breakfast Club breakdown? Breakfast Club, easily the most anticipated part of the TSL for those that are in it, starts next week, so I’ll give the rundown for that later. 



4.              Who are the biggest underdogs that have the best chance at winning the titles? Well, that’s pretty easy: Sticky Bandits, Grey Hair Don’t Care, Buffalo Vice, XMD, Passing While Intoxicated, and Lettuce Win. 



5.              Did you fill out your waiver? Seriously, it takes no time at all and it must be done before you’re going to be allowed to play. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR THIS SATURDAY: 




1.     It won’t be the same this season without the TSL regulars being around, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be any less fun. Hype for the league is at an all time high. 



2.              Shoutout to Coach Jay for doing a fantastic job with the refs ever since he stepped in for Rameer. However, this is his last season as Head Referee, and has announced he’s stepping down. If you’d like to be more involved with the league and would consider taking over this position, tell Topper, Joe K, or even Topper-In-Training Jeff Krol about that. Everyone always asks how they can help the league, this is how. 



3.              The wine tournament is already a go for August 13th, put it in your schedules now. 



4.              The three teams with the most to prove this season: Frodo Swaggins, Cunning Stunts, and Eyes Downtown.



5.              While you guys never got to have the banquet this year, I hear that the award winners will be announced at the bar soon enough. 



6.              There’s going to be some construction at the fields this season, and after about a month of football we’ll be down to only 4 fields. That’s going to make it difficult to make up games and move them around, so do your best to get your team prepared to play when you’re supposed to. 



7.              All of the Captains need to be in the TSL Captain’s Chat on telegram. Topper wants everyone there to be able to swiftly inform every single team at once about league happenings. Such as if the games are canceled tomorrow at 9:15. He emailed a link to all of you, get on it. 



8.              Lenny and Rameer Day is JUNE 4TH. I repeat, Lenny and Rameer Day is JUNE 4th. Mark your calendars, its becoming our biggest at the fields party of the year. Perhaps Topper will finally get the magician Lenny always wanted. Cookie and Elmo will be there. The wheels will be spun. There will be a dunk tank. Maybe a slip and slide? Who knows! Again, sign your waivers, thanks. 



9.              Did I get your team wrong? Do i have no idea about you and who you are? Correct this by emailing me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . I appreciate everyone that takes the time to send their hellos, and update me on thier teams. It’s nearly impossible to write about a league I don’t get to see often, so getting as much help as I can makes this article what it is. Don’t be lazy, email me today. 



10.           For the new people, this is the greatest Social Co-Ed Football league in the world. There’s nothing like it, despite the imitators. If you let the league accept you into it’s warm embrace, have a drink or three at the bar, and get involved in the shenanigans, you’ll find yourself with a second family you didn’t know you had. Show up, say hi, and have fun. Don’t be scared. 

 

We’ve done it guys! We’ve made it! The TSL season is officially upon us and I can not be more excited. The amount of stories and plot lines that will come from this year are going to be tremendous, new faces will emerge, old faces will pop it, and everyone will have a great time. You’ve waited long enough for the TSL to return, so go forth and have a blast. 

 

I’ll be in the cut. 

 

-GF



The Finals Thoughts, Picks and Predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 29 October 2021 12:44
Published: Friday, 29 October 2021 12:44
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 188

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe. On Saturday, October 30th in the Year of Our Lord 2021, 24 TSL teams will walk into the Rose Garden with one single purpose: go to battle and acquire Social Co-Ed Football Immortality.

 

For some, they could take a title in their first season of existence.

 

For others, it could be a long realized dream that finally came after years of heartbreak. 

 

For a few, it may cap off the end of Social Co-Ed Football dominance.

 

Every single one of the remaining 24 teams has a story. They’ve all taken a different path to get to Championship Saturday. When the smoke has cleared, only 6 teams will be allowed to call themselves champions, the undisputed best football teams in WNY, nay, the World.

 

But the question remains: Who will it be?

 

It’s not an answer even I can do myself, so I brought in the TSL QB Committee to give me their collective thoughts on what will be a hard fought, incredibly entertaining, and probably a little wet Championship Saturday.

 

GF: Well, we made it. Power Rankings are over for the year, so I think I’ll make you guys do some work anyway.

 

Committee Member 1: Honored to be here Godfather.

 

Committee Member 2: Glad to be back.

 

 

GF: Thanks for doing this. Before we get into it, thoughts on the season as a whole?

 

CM1: Feels like it's lasted forever, right?  That isn't meant in a bad way, but this IS the longest season we've had in a while (thanks to a rain-out week that, okay, maybe we're regretting now given this Saturday's Championship forecast) and it's hard to imagine that when we started the season it was still in the blazing heat of August. 

 

CM 2: It feels like a lifetime ago when teams first started playing and everyone (as always) was confident they were going to be unstoppable this year.  Now we're down to our final four in each division and it feels like a war of attrition: Who has the stamina to STILL be standing after an 11 week season?

 

GF: There’s a reason its called Immortality. It’s earned. We’ve had thousands of TSLers play here throughout the years, and many of them have retired without gaining at least one title. The season itself was a bit of a grind sure, but let’s focus more on what we have for the playoffs. So, what are your big surprises from last week? 

 

CM2: Depends what you call a "surprise".  There were nine "underdog" wins last week where the lower seeded team beat the higher seeded, but in three of those cases (Lenny's Ladies over Victorious Secret, Blitzkrieg over Graves Bros, 716 over Woodpeckers) the lower seeded team actually had a better point differential on the season, which means they shouldn't REALLY have been considered "underdogs" to begin with.  

 

That leaves six teams that were true lower seeds AND projected to lose based on point differential that somehow bucked the odds and won anyway.  Which is the most impressive?  Apologies in advance Mr. Godfather, we know you don't normally have to paste graphs into your article, but we HAVE to include this one:

 

 

CM 1: Two things stand out from the graph above, which shows how much each pair of teams' point differentials suggested that the losing team should have WON by:

 

1) Excuse our language (censor us if you must) but what the fuck happened in D5?  These were two MONSTER upsets.  The odds of either Not So Sticky or Lettuce Win still being alive this week were incredibly low.  But both?  Impossible to predict.  Compared to the other four upsets (which were expected to be much closer anyway) these two really stand out for their improbability.

 

2) Sticky Nation had two of the top three upsets on the day.  Not So Sticky was obviously much less likely to win, but the Sticky Bandits were also supposed to lose to a good Slob Kabombs team, and didn't.  Impressive day for Sticky athletes everywhere.

 

 

GF: I don’t think Sticky Bandits winning was a surprise, they were a fingernail away from playing for the D1 title last session. Their literal drunk cousins in D5 though? That was a shock, I’ll give you that. It’s funny, because even though there weren’t our usual handful of actual upsets (Every #1 seed won Saturday, how boring) D5 was the division assumed to most likely go “chalk”. Wasted Potential threw a wrench in that one very early on in the day.

 

 

CM1: Before we get into the games, we have some questions for you too.

 

GF: Go for it, what’s up?

 

CM1: Do we know of any big absences for championship week that are likely to throw a wrench in the final round of games?

 

 

GF: Surprisingly, not nearly as many as you’d think. Topper gave me the requested subs before I wrote the article, and other than some D5 female subs being needed, nothing really stood out. The only information I’ve gotten otherwise from my various informants is that Tommy Hughes is going to be out for Public Enemy, which is tragic considering it’s their Last Rodeo. He’s not the top player on that team, but I’m sure Cole would like his security blanket on the sidelines. And then there’s the *big* one. Due to scheduling snafus, and an inability to move some games, The Angels play at the same time as Tight Ends In Motion (as of press time, this could change but seems unlikely when I talked to Topper). For those unaware, that means Robin, Emily, and Lindsay (you know, arguably 3 of the Top 5 women on the planet) have quite the “Sophie’s Choice” to make here: they can bone TEIM and go play with the Angels (and have a great shot at winning D3) or they don’t and bone the Angels for a shot at defending their D1 title.

 

CM2: So what would you do in this situation?

 

GF: There’s no easy answer here. For the story lines, I’d have them play with the Angels, and have TEIM get the subs needed for their game. Considering the sub rules, TEIM could get literally get just about anyone as comparables for them approved. I’m not sure how the sub rules work for a gender team, so getting the subs there may prove trickier. I guess for me, The Angels have the better shot at making history, since D1 is on a Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown Final Battle Collision Course, just how Lenny would want it.

 

 

CM1: Does the weather help/hurt any teams in particular, or is everyone equally disadvantaged when it starts to pour on Saturday?

 

GF: Everyone is equally disadvantaged. There will be balls slipping off hands into the other team’s arms, bad throws, awful footing, and all of that fun. What it really means is that any result can happen in our final weekend.

 

CM2: Okay last one we had: Who was the bar scene's breakout star this session?

 

GF: Does it have to be a single star? The truth is that Zack Attack as a whole were the winners from what I hear. They stayed late constantly, played darts, and were bar superstars all season.

 

And with all of that out of the way, let’s get going on what you’re all here for: The Games!

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#5 Sticky Bandits 28, #4 Slob Kabombs 24

#3 Tight Ends In Motion 46, #6 Losing Streak 29

 

              Tight Ends proceeded to get their championship attitude back in order just in time as they cruised to the second round. Sticky proceeded to pull out a close one against the Slob Kabombs to earn a date with Public Enemy.

 

Top Story Line:

 

GF – Topper said we weren’t allowed to talk about it and “make it a big thing” this season, but it’s not like I can get in trouble for the last article. The answer is simple. It’s Chris Cole’s swan song. Despite not everyone being convinced that this is truly it, it feels like it is. And it’s so much more than that. I’ve been told this could just be the end of Public Enemy, and we may get even more retirements than we’re expecting.

 

CM1: We’ll be alternating these. It's Chris Cole and all of Public Enemy's last hurrah, sure.  That's THE biggest storyline.  But is a healthy TEIM hungry enough to fight for the D1 crown they haven't lost yet?  Is Bobby McConnell ready to steal his old rival's thunder and ruin his retirement?  It won't be a boring D1 playoffs.

 

 

#1 Public Enemy (8-1) vs #5 Sticky Bandits (2-7)

 

Points For: PE 42.88 (1st), SB 24.38 (6th)

Points Against: PE 28.25 (1st), SB 36.00 (4th)

 

TSL Ranking: PE 3rd, SB 41st

 

Past Games: PE 44 – SB 35, PE 40 – SB 6

 

Line: Public Enemy (-12)

 

 

GF: Sticky Bandits had a big win last week (even if I specifically told you in this very article that they’d win by 4), but they’re standing in the way of something bigger than them. They’ll play their hardest, but it just won’t be enough. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 13

 

CM1: Public Enemy over Sticky Bandits by 10 - we think it'll be closer than these two teams have played in the past.  P.E. is rolling right now, but they might fall victim to the same trap T.E.I.M. almost did last year and overlook their first round opponent.  If they do, the Sticky Bandits could make things interesting, but if Public Enemy play their game, they should be fine

 

 

#2 Eyes Downtown (7-2) vs #3 Tight Ends In Motion (5-4)

 

Points For: ED 38.44 (2nd), TEIM 31.00 (5th)

Points Against: ED 31.00 (3rd), TEIM 28.67 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: ED 8th, TEIM 25th

Past Games: TEIM 30 – ED 28, ED 44 – TEIM 34

Line: Eyes Downtown (-3)

 

GF: This game is going to be brutal, and the winner of this one will be more about surviving than anything else. Tight Ends are almost forgotten as D1 champions, essentially playing 3rd fiddle all season as we wondered what was wrong with them. Spoilers: nothing. If I didn’t think Lenny Alba was pulling the strings up above for these games, I’d choose Tight Ends, but the best story line needs its villain as the Final Boss. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

 

CM2: Tight Ends in Motion over Eyes Downtown by 3 - A full strength TEIM is very different than the product they've trotted out for most of this season.  The champs want to show the world they're STILL the champs when they've got the whole band together, but Bobby and team are good enough to play spoiler.  

 

 

THE FINALS PREDICTION:

 

GF: Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown. No, it’s not the same Eyes Downtown as years past, but the main character in Bobby McConnell still exists. ED didn’t do themselves any favors by beating PE during the season, that only makes them thirsty for more. As much as Eyes Downtown wants to ruin the fairy tale ending, This just means too much to too many people on the PE side of things. There will be tears. There will probably be blood. And there will be the first happy ending Christopher Cole didn’t have to pay for. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 9

 

CM1: Public Enemy over Tight Ends in Motion by 4 - PE will break out every move they have to win this thing and go out on top.  Impossible not to see they want it the most right now.  They're the pick.

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#1 A&A 48, #8 Bullet Club 41

#2 Top Shot 30, #7 Passed Our Prime 19

#3 Scared Hitless 16, #6 Notorious BNB 7

#5 XTC 37, #4 When Dove Cries 26

 

 

The most shocking thing about these scores is how shocking they weren’t. There were no real upsets this time around. Even XTC winning isn’t an upset when you consider that they just bested WDC a couple of weeks ago. A&A beat Bullet Club for the 3rd time in 5 weeks, but this was more of a game then the others. Top Shot took care of business against POP. Scared Hitless overcame BNB in what was deemed an offensive struggle for both teams.

 

 

Top Story Line:

 

GF – I still feel like there has to be some D2 crazy times magic here. This can’t go chalk. So I’ll point to how XTC is being treated like an afterthought. It’s all about the “Big 3” (well, the Big 2, and their little brothers who are ALMOST at their level) in D2. Experience matters, and XTC might be playing better than anyone right now.

 

CM2 - Which of the "big three" teams in D2 are going to blink first?  We don't expect as much of XTC as others (the Godfather included) but the other three teams are legit contenders, and they finished the regular season in the exact right order.  A&A SHOULD win, but TopShot and Scared Hitless both have the guns to pull off the upset.  Also: is the D2 winner going to move up to D1 for the third year in a row?  We imagine the D1 jump will be less intimidating once Public Enemy rides off into the sunset but who knows what super-team will fill the void?

 

#1 A&A (8-1) vs #5 XTC (3-6)

Points For: A&A 38.11 (1st), XTC 34.67 (4th)

Points Against: A&A 30.00 (3rd), XTC 34.78 (5th)

TSL Ranking: A&A 1st, XTC 35th

Past Games: A&A 41 – XTC 38

Line: A&A (-6)

 

GF: XTC has been damn good. They came up short far too often, and realistically should’ve had more wins than they did. They’re the hotter team right now, and it feels like they can’t be stopped. Not to mention there’s a good chance that this could be Matty’s 3rd game of the day, in a row. The craziness that is D2 returns, XTC BY 3

 

CM2: A&A over XTC by 9 - XTC's mediocre regular season record and point differential plus near collapse in the When Dove Cries game doesn't fill us with confidence in their chances.  A&A is undefeated this season with Matty quarterbacking, right?  We don't see that changing on Saturday in either of their games

 

 

#2 Top Shot (8-1) vs #3 Scared Hitless (7-2)

Points For: TS 32.00 (6th), SH 35.50 (3rd)

Points Against: TS 25.78 (1st), SH 28.75 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: TS 2nd, SH 7th

Past Games: Top Shot 33 – Scared Hitless 32

Line: EVEN

 

GF: This is the best game of the 2nd round. Look at these two teams. They’re so even. Scared Hitless boasts the better offense (to the shock of MANY reading this), and Top Shot is slightly better on defense. Both are separated by about 3 points, which is why we saw a 1 point win for Top Shot earlier this season. I expect more of the same. When it comes down to it for me, I tried so very hard to pick Scared Hitless here. They have the better girls, and their guys are no slouches. But in the rain, in a huge game? You have to give me Dylan Jaloza over Dylan Day. This comes down to the QBs, moreso than usual. Prove me wrong Johnny Football, I’d love to see it. TOP SHOT BY 3

 

CM2: TopShot over Scared Hitless by 4 - TopShot has this reputation for collapsing in the playoffs, but ONE game is not enough to hang a reputation on, right?  They're the better team and one of the scarier male rosters in the division.  They SHOULD win this game, if they can keep up with the Scared Hitless girls.

 

 

THE FINALS PREDICTION: ;

 

GF – I have XTC vs Top Shot. Even if I’m wrong about XTC winning over A&A, it wasn’t going to matter. I think Top Shot is going to put it all together and take home the title. TOP SHOT BY 7

 

CM2: A&A over TopShot by 3 - A&A is just a slightly better team we think.  It's no disrespect to TopShot, they had a great first season in D2, but we think Matty and Co win and finally make the jump to D1.

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#1 Grey Hair Don’t Care 54, #8 Cobblestone 29

#3 The Angels 59, #6 Last Dance 36

#7 4th and Dong 36, #2 The Untouchaballs 12

#4 Frodo Swaggins 43, #5 Freeballers 26

 

Hello Grey Hair’s offense! Not exactly the offensive powerhouse during the season, they found their groove pretty nicely in this one, and took care of business. The Angles continued their incredible season by putting down Last Dance (who apparently got Ricky back at QB, but they had Newman so why downgrade?), And Frodo Swaggins took care of the Freeballers, who have found their ceiling in D3. And in one of the bigger upsets of the day, 4th and Dong woke up and channeled themselves from the beginning of the season, putting the Untouchaballs to rest earlier than I sure thought. Burr, you have nothing to hang your head on, awesome first QB season with that team.

 

 

Top Story Line:

 

GF – It’s not a happy one. Easily, the top story line is the Angels losing either all 3 of Lindsay, Robin, and Emily, or at the very least two of them. (Send one to the Angels, let the other two deal with Bobby). I’m sure the girls feel like they’ve already lost with this happening to them, but they have the TSL’s hottest QB who just doesn’t lose, and a roster of extremely talented girls to take on Frodo.

 

CM1: It's the Angels.  It's unfortunate that the scheduling Gods have cost Matty some of the best female athletes in Western New York this week.  We thought the Angels had a real path to victory.  Without their TEIM girls, we really can't bet on them to beat the other remaining D3 teams.

 

 

#1 Grey Hair Don’t Care (7-2) vs #7 4th And Dong (4-4-1)

Points For: GHDC 26.56 (7th), 4ND 32.67 (3rd)

Points Against: GHDC 22.00 (1st), 4ND 30.78 (7th)

TSL Ranking: GHDC 10th, 4ND 27th

Past Games: GHDC 27 – 4ND 24

Line: GHDC (-2)

 

GF: GHDC won their division but they ended up 7-2 by the skin of their teeth. They pulled out FAR too many close games, which may be a strength, yes, but I think they look tougher on paper here. They tend to struggle to score (except against Cobblestone), and 4th and Dong just, doesn’t. Here’s another shocker: 4th AND DONG BY 4

 

CM1: Grey Hair - Don't Care over 4th & Dong by 7.  Grey Hair has all the momentum in the world right now, and they haven't lost since September 18th.  Good enough to make the finals, we think (the team they lost to on Sept 18th?  Frodo Swaggins.)

 

 

#3 The Angels (6-3) vs #4 Frodo Swaggins (5-2-1)

Points For: Angels 36.13 (1st), Frodo 30.25 (5th)

Points Against: Angels 27.50 (6th), Frodo 27.13 (5th)

TSL Ranking: Angels 14th, Frodo 17th

Past Games: The Angels 33 – Frodo Swaggins 18

Line: OFF

 

GF: Cant really make a line when you’re not entirely sure who’s playing for the girls just yet. Frodo has had a weird up and down year, but they find themselves in the role of spoiler instead of the usual spoilees. Meanwhile the Angels figured out D3 after a rough year (turns out it was “Get Robin”) and dominated the last two months of play. I know the girls that are going to miss are big parts of the team, but can we remember who’s still ON the team? They’re no slouches. And you know what else? They’re really, really pissed off. THE ANGELS BY 7

CM1: Frodo Swaggins over the Angels by 11.  No Emily, no Lindsay, no Robin (we're assuming) means no win.  The other Angels aren't just good players, they're GREAT players, but their "big three" are GREAT great players, and Frodo are no slouches.  Garrett scores enough points to win and move on to the Finals

 

THE FINALS PREDICTION:

GF – The Angels vs 4th and Dong. This gets a lot easier if Eyes Downtown beats Tight Ends in D1. But even if they don’t, this is a matchup they can still win. If the girls can beat Garrett at QB, surely they can beat Scotty Dro. It’s unlikely, but it’s a great story. THE ANGELS BY 13, TOPPER’S SCHEDULING VINDICATED.

 

CM1: Frodo Swaggins over Grey Hair - Don't Care by 5.  Frodo always seems to play well against Grey Hair - Don't Care.  We think they will again, and Garrett takes Frodo to heights that... dare we say it... Scotty never did.

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

#1 Cunning Stunts 34, #8 Zack Attack 14

#7 Falconies 34, #2 Vaspian 28

#3 Buffalo Vice 42, #6 Puckett All-Stars 12

#4 Itches and Ohs 64, #5 Breast Friends 37

 

The Stunts came in and didn’t play any games, trouncing Zack Attack to ensure they play this weekend. The Falconies continued the run of 7 seeds winning (3 out of 4 won last weekend, and the other two divisions don’t have 7 teams) by handing Vaspian a slightly shocking loss. Buffalo Vice made sure that Puckett’s postseason magic didn’t have time to happen, as they shut them right down to move on. Finally, Itches and Ohs offense couldn’t be stopped as they rolled the Breast Friends and secured their spot on Championship Saturday.

 

Top Story Line:

GF – The top storyline for me is all about the Stunts. I have a feeling they’re annoyed at playing second fiddle in the gender team realm to the Angels (who’ve they’ve beaten for championships before!) and they’re on a mission to win this thing, and move up to reignite one of league’s best rivalries.

 

CM2: Parity gives us our best division Final Four yet.  Any one of these teams could realistically walk out the champions without being considered a big upset.  Do the Angels and Stunts resume their rivalry in D3 if Joey Batts leads his girls to the title?  Is Seth even allowed to QB for Vice next year win or lose?  Anything could happen.

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (7-2) vs #7 Falconies (5-4)

Points For: CS 39.00 (3rd) Falconies 27.44 (10th)

Points Against: CS 29.00 (6th), Falconies 24.67 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: CS 6th, Falconies 22nd

Past Games: Cunning Stunts 27 – Falconies 22

Line: Cunning Stunts (-8)

 

GF: I can’t imagine that the Falconies can beat another top team after last week’s upset win. While their defense is fantastic, they’re always going to have a female mismatch as just about everyone Stunt is a better player than what the Falconies can trot out. That’s not meant to be a slight on the Falconies females, its just a testament to how good the Stunts women really are. Better females and a better QB lead us to the obvious result here: CUNNING STUNTS BY 10

 

CM2: Cunning Stunts over Falconies by 9 - the Stunts are the best team in the division by record and point differential so hard to bet against them.  Soooo we won't!  Stunts take it, unless Falconies can somehow score 8 points on each drive (which we think they'll struggle to do)

 

 

#3 Buffalo Vice (5-3-1) vs #4 Itches and Ohs (5-3-1)

Points For: BV 33.22 (4th), Ohs 42.67 (1st)

Points Against: BV 27.78 (5th), Ohs 38.00 (11th)

TSL Ranking: BV 15th, Ohs 16th

Past Games: TIED 46-46

Line: EVEN

 

GF: This is going to be a game for the ages. These two teams matchup QUITE well against each other. We watched them battle to a tie early in the season. Vice is getting healthier each week. Itches and Ohs might have almost learned defense (Okay, let’s not get crazy). Joking aside, Vice even has the female talent to keep up with Ohs. I flipped a coin ten times to pick this game, and it ended up 5-5. But I did see some fire coming from the Ohs camp on the TSL Facebook this week. Even if it wasn’t the greatest look, you can see they WANT this title. It’s that little edge that’s going to have me give them a little edge. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1

 

CM2: Itches and Ohs over Buffalo Vice by 3 - this game was a 46-46 tie earlier this season.  Seth is maybe the best QB in this division (and that's saying something since D4 has ridiculous QBs) but Buffalo Vice's Achilles heel has always been their defense, and the Moser clan is coming away with gender TDs more often than not.  Tough to keep up with that.  Itches to the finals.

 

THE FINAL PREDICTION:

 

GF – Cunning Stunts vs Itches and Ohs. When we last saw these two, it was a 61-52 battle that ended on an interception on the final drive. These are two teams on a mission, and if we went to OT in this game I wouldn’t be surprised. These are the two best QBs in the division, and they’re going to put on a show for the last game of the TSL season. Look for the Stunts to get the one stop they need (and maybe the only stop of the game) to get that title back. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

CM2: Cunning Stunts over Itches and Ohs by 2 - The only team capable of keeping up with Itches gender scores, is THE dominant gender team in the division.  What's the prediction, like 54-52?  It'll be a good one, but the Stunts will find a way.

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing 32, #8 TOX 24

#7 Lettuce Win 27, #2 Wasted Potential 18

#6 Not So Sticky 39, #3 Come From Behind 38

#5 716 32, #4 Woodpeckers 14

 

The most obvious division to go chalk simply would not be denied some craziness as the 5-7 seeds pulled off upsets. Spinelli’s didn’t even murder TOX as predicted, but they still live on. Lettuce Win gets the most shocking win of the weekend, as Wasted Potential proceeded to, well, waste their potential. Not So Sticky must not have been drunk and they need to be tested for steroids in a huge upset win over CFB. 716 proceeded to neatly dispose of the Woodpeckers, in the least surprising upset of the day.

 

Top Story Line:

GF – Can Spinelli’s be stopped? A week ago, I pretty much anointed them the champions, and then they go out and nearly lose to TOX. Perhaps they were feeling themselves a little bit and it almost cost them. Either way, with the road to the title even easier (statistically speaking anyway), AND they already had their “Oh that’s right, we didn’t actually WIN yet” scare/wake up call, I feel like they’re somehow going to be even more dominant.

 

CM1: D5 - Spinelli's cannot be stopped.  The massive D5 upsets end this week.  It's Spinelli's.  Can we just skip them ahead of D4 and put them directly in D3 next session?

 

#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1) vs #7 Lettuce Win (3-6)

Points For: SP 42.22 (1st), LW 20.25 (7th)

Points Against: SP 29.00 (5th), LW 32.00 (7th)

TSL Ranking: SP 4th, LW 40th

Past Games: Spinelli’s Plumbing 44 – Lettuce Win 22

Line: Spinelli’s (-20)

 

GF: Okay, for Lettuce Win to pull this upset, lightning would literally have to strike twice, twice. I just can’t see it. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 21

 

CM1: Spinellis Plumbing over Lettuce Win by 21- Spinelli's.  Come on.  It's Spinelli's.

 

#5 716 (4-5) vs #6 Not So Sticky (4-5)

Points For: 716 31.33 (3rd), NSS 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: 716 30.67 (6th), NSS 26.67 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: 716 29th, NSS 30th

Past Games: 716 44 – NSS 30, NSS 32 – 716 28

Line: 716 (-3)

 

GF: Oh look, another ridiculously close game. This is going to be a hell of a Championship Saturday folks. This is another coin flip for me, but in big games like this I always side with the more established teams. NSS has been a part of MANY a playoff game, and as far as I know, this is 716’s first season together. Give me the better defense, especially in the rain. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

 

CM1: Not So Sticky over 716 by 2 - These two teams split the regular season series 1-1 and this game could really go either way.  We would have picked 716 a week ago, but that Come From Behind victory was unexpected.  Maybe NSS has another gear?  If so they take it to the finals... where they get annihilated by Spinelli's.

 

 

THE FINAL PREDICTION:

 

GF – Spinelli’s vs Not So Sticky. Even if NSS finds a way to slow down the SP offense even a little, I’m not entirely sure they can keep up for the entire game. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

 

CM1: Spinellis over Not So Sticky by 15 - Spinelli's.  Come on.  It's Spinelli's.

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#6 Lenny’s Ladies 41, #3 Victorious Secret 34

#5 Blitzkrieg 31, #4 Graves Bros 19

 

 

Lenny’s Ladies won the gender battle this past weekend, as they handled the girls from VS to move on. Blitzkrieg got their QB back and proceeded to put Graves Bros out of their misery this season and earned a date with Travis Henry’s Kids.

 

Top Story Line:

 

GF – The return of the king. Okay, maybe not the king, but Blitzkrieg, who was playing pretty well to end the season with a QB carousel, gets their QB Alex back just in time for a magical run on Championship Saturday. Having him there means that Fast Tom or Light Red Hoodie Guy will do what they do best, which is catching the ball and making defenses pay. Ethan was right when he emailed me months ago: Blitzkrieg was going to get healthy and peak at the end of the season. So far, so good.

 

 

CM2: D6 - Does TMA choke?  This is supposed to be "their time" after so many sessions in D6.  They ARE the storyline, and it's either a happy ending or a tragic one.  Can't wait to see.  

 

#1 TMA (8-1) vs #6 Lenny’s Ladies (3-6)

Points For: TMA 34.33 (4th), LL 34.57 (3rd)

Points Against: TMA 25.78 (1st), LL 34.43 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: TMA 5th, LL 37th

Past Games: TMA 32 - LL 28

Line: TMA (-9)

 

GF – The last time these teams met, Topper was the QB. While the Lenny’s Ladies offense didn’t look to miss a beat last week with Joe K, playing a gender team is a lot different than playing TMA. TMA has waited for this for so long, I can’t imagine they lose their focus in this one. Assuming they have everyone at the fields, they should take this one. TMA BY 14

 

CM2: TMA over Lenny's Ladies by 2 - The only game between these two teams this session was a close one with TMA narrowly picking up the W, but we don't think TMA will bow out in their first playoff game.  They HAVE to want it more than that, right?

 

 

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-4) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-6)

Points For: THK 38.11 (1st), BK 28.67 (6th)

Points Against: THK 41.33 (6th), BK 26.78 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: THK 21st, BK 34th

Past Games: THK 42 – BK 37

Line: BK (-3)

 

GF: The last time we saw THK, they were getting brutalized back to back by TMA, and it almost cost them a bye. Blitzkrieg has been playing really well, and that was BEFORE THEY GOT THEIR QB BACK. Yeah, they have the lowest ranked offense in the division, but when you lose your QB and your best weapon (I hope you’re doing well and we see you soon Allie!) before the season starts, it tends to throw a wrench into things. Alex is back, Blitzkrieg looks pretty dialed in, and things are leaning their way. Pistol Pete is a fella I keep hearing about on THK, and he may be the best male player in this game, but after that its all BK before the next THK member pops up. The signs and the numbers just point to Blitzkreig. Here’s hoping they both don’t wear red. BLITZKREIG BY 7.

 

CM2: Blitzkrieg over Travis Henry's Kids by 4 - Blitzkrieg has been playing great football lately.  It's been a while since Travis Henry's Kids played a game (the bye week plus the rainout is a momentum killer) so we don't even remember how they've been playing!  Advantage: Blitzkrieg

 

 

THE FINAL PREDICTION:

 

GF – TMA vs Blitzkrieg. This is something. I really, really want this for TMA. They’re good people. League icons. They’re the current “best to never win one” team out there. But this is the worst matchup for them. TMA beat BK 30-29 early on, and they lost to them 28-8 in a game where BK made QB Ryan look terrible. And NOW BK gets its QB back and are on fire. Plus, history loves to repeat itself. I’m torn. These are two teams I love and want both to win. Maybe I’m just doing this to inspire TMA and its reverse psychology, but BLITZKRIEG BY 3.

 

CM2: TMA over Blitzkrieg by 1 - we predict Blitzkrieg takes a late lead in the championship game, TMA has a "come to Jesus" moment, unites behind the positive energy of Brent, and rallies for the final score to finally win the D6 championship.

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

1. Who is the #1 seed most likely to NOT win their respective title? 

 

CM 1 - Well it's either Grey Hair - Don't Care or Cunning Stunts, right?  Grey Hair had a weak point differential for a top seed (although they keep winning in spite of that) and D4 is just a WIDE open division so without disrespecting the Stunts, ANY #1 seed in that division was probably going to be the most likely to not win their division.

 

GF – I think my “most likely to not win” is also Grey Hair. If I had to rank “most likely to lose the title” 1 seeds: Grey Hair, Cunning Stunts, A&A, TMA, Public Enemy, Spinelli’s Plumbing.

 

2. Who is most likely to pull off an upset and be the most surprising champion? 

 

CM 2 - Scared Hitless?  They're good ENOUGH to win any game right now, and they were SUCH underdogs at the beginning of the season (not so much anymore) that they're our pick for most surprising potential champion.

 

GF – “Most Surprising”? Can it be the Angels given the roster issues? That’s not juicy enough. Travis Henry’s Kids bring all 25 people on the roster this week, and beat both Blitzkreig and TMA to take the title It’s possible, but that would be most realistic yet surprising.

 

3. Pick a Champion from each division that isn't the #1 seed. 

 

CM1 - Frodo Swaggins was our ONLY pick that wasn't a #1 seed, although like we said, D4 (and to a degree D6) could also give us a non #1 seed champion. 

 

GF – I’m pretty sure I picked 3 already, so for the ones that I didn’t pick the #1 seed – D1 would be Eyes Downtown (Bobby finally kills Cole for good), D4 would be Itches and Ohs (the best offense in the league just isn’t stopped), and D5 would be nobody, because for Spinelli’s not to win, a hole opened up in the Earth and swallowed everyone. Since I HAVE to take someone, give me Not So Sticky. I’ll always take knowledge of the game over anything else.

 

4. Which team is under the most pressure to perform well? 

 

CM 2 - It's Public Enemy, right?  This isn't just SOME championship game, they've done those before without trouble.  This is LEGACY defining.  Yeah, they've sewn up their spot in history already, but walking away the champ did wonders for John Elway's legacy.  PE wants the same.

 

GF – I think it’s TMA. It’s been 75 seasons or something where they’ve been SO CLOSE and “SHOULD HAVE BEEN” champions only to fall on their face. I went and looked back, and I don’t think they’ve ever made a title game, but I could be wrong there.

 

5. Best QB from each division remaining? (since its kind of your thing)

 

CM2:

D1 - Chris Cole, but Bobby's not as far back as conventional wisdom says

D2 - Matty Ice.  Dude hasn't lost since... is it August?  We lose track

D3 - Matty again, but it won't matter if he doesn't have his best weapons.

D4 - Seth, followed closely by Joey Batts.  These guys can scramble, assess, and throw.

D5 - Nick, by a mile.  A mile.

D6 - John Langley.  We're not betting on his team, but we think he's the best QB.

 

GF:

D1: Cole – Best to ever do it.

D2: Matty – He just doesn’t lose

D3: Scotty – Because I didn’t want to put Matty again

D4: Joey Batts – followed by Steve Moser. I just don’t buy into the Seth hype that he always gets.

D5: Rags. Wait, no, I read that wrong. Nick.

D6: Langley – He’s the most gifted, but he also the easiest to rattle and take him off his game.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

I was nice and let the committee members do five of them, they went first:

 

1) We hope/expect that teams stay and celebrate with their champagne no matter how shitty the weather turns out.  Teams have worked too hard to not be able to enjoy their championship wins.

 

2) Remember how awesome our banquets were before COVID cancelled the last one?  Just saying...

 

3) It's a shame the weather won't encourage people to stick around and play exhibition games.  We've had a halloween drunk bowl, an eggplant bowl etc in the last weeks of prior seasons.  Exhibition games (even crossover divisional challenge games) should be encouraged more in future sessions

 

4) We still can't believe Practice Squad didn't make the playoffs.  

 

5) Are we ever going to see an indoor gender team? (GF: No. Not enough room and only one team per person)

 

6. Speaking of indoor, Topper announced the winter league officially! When I wrote this, 5 of the 10 available spots were already taken, so don’t sit around and wait forever to get your spot. I believe if you have any questions about it, you’re supposed to email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for all things Indoor League.

 

7. I was elated to get a picture from Topper last weekend showing me that B’s Brother IS ALIVE AND WELL AND MADE HIS GLORIOUS RETURN TO THE FIELDS!

 

8. Even if you’re out of the playoffs already, please come on down to the fields anyway to hang out and end this season in style. Rain or shine.

 

9. Everyone has worked so hard to get to this point, but just remember, just because it’s the playoffs/championships does NOT mean it’ll be like the wild west and the refs won’t throw their flags. As Rameer loved to remind the refs each Championship Saturday: they’re going to call penalties like its any other game. If anything, they’ll be less forgiving. Keep it in mind before you pull on a jersey or mouth off to them.

 

10. I waited until the end to do this because I didn’t want to dampen this fantastic article, but please, everyone, get your heads out of your asses. Listen, I know there was a big dustup at the fields this week in D4, and it involved lots of players, and refs, and people on the sidelines. I won’t name the names I was told about (because I wasn’t there, and well, you can see them arguing elsewhere in the TSL universe), here’s what’s important: This is Social Co-Ed Football. It’s the best league you’re going to find out there, and these petty arguments and attitudes won’t be tolerated, I’m sure of it. Don’t flood this league with negativity, because Topper, Lenny, and Rameer had a pretty good track record of getting people like that out of here. And that doesn’t matter if you’re newer to the league, have been here for a while, or inbetween. We come here to have fun. It’s really simple, turn the other cheek. Everyone has worked very hard to get to this Saturday. Let’s not ruin it by talking too much smack and going overboard. Win with dignity and lose with dignity. Nothing has to escalate further than that. If you’re watching a game, don’t provoke those playing in it. I don’t truly believe anyone involved wanted it to get so out of hand, so let’s control ourselves better. Everyone who reads this: Just do better. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Championship Saturday is HERE. The Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is nearing its end, we can see the finish line. The TSL won’t be back until April, (besides the winter league, but that’s a different animal) so enjoy this weekend! Be safe out there, have fun, and good luck.

 

And honestly, I don’t think you’ll need to worry about the sunscreen.

 

-GF

 

Week 8 thoughts, picks, advice and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 08 October 2021 11:55
Published: Friday, 08 October 2021 11:55
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 200

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, in the blink of an eye, the TSL Fall 2021 season has reached its final week. In one week, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality will begin its final stages when the playoffs begin. But before that, we must get through Week 8.

 

I say “get through” because by all accounts, this isn’t going to be the most interesting week for the league. Topper has informed me that its “Fall Fest” weekend in Ellicottville, which historically has meant lots of teams forfeiting (like HE did, I may add), skeleton crews, lots of subs, and you can’t really get a handle on the games. There’s a lot of unknowns for the games this week. Other than some playoff positioning, D1, D2, D5, and D6 have their playoff participants: Everyone. D3 already knows who will miss out, as Super Freaks and Show Me Dem TDs are eliminated from contention. That leaves D4, which while seeds 1-5 aren’t even close to decided, we already know that the fake Titsburgh Feelers aren’t making the playoffs, which leaves 3 teams left to miss. Today’s Feast is on track to be one of them, and the current 8 seed, Practice Squad, plays the Titsburgh Replacement Team. We can get into the details more in a bit.

 

But first! Last week I asked the readers to send in some questions for a Godfather “mailbag” of sorts, and I got a decent amount. Thank you to those who sent things in, hopefully we can get some more in the future. Time to open up the mail and see what we have:

 

“Why the photo of Drew last week with no mention of him in the article?”

 

Well, that’s because he does nothing worth speaking about. However, the correct answer is to blame Topper. A week or two ago, after I sent in my article, he informed me that he figured out how to add images to the articles. That image of Drew was all his doing.

 

“What’s the best current or historic rivalry in the TSL?”

 

Green and Associates vs everyone was always a good one. Garbacz vs Making The Correct Call has always been a battle. The Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown rivalry used to burn white hot a few seasons ago, until everyone got a little older and it’s calmed down a bit now. But of course the greatest rivalry we’ve ever had in the TSL is Rameer vs B’s Brother.

 

"Frank from the Wanderers was busy challenging Public Enemy to a match to see who the best team is. He claims they would win a Best of 7 series in 5 games"  How do you imagine this series going?  Smart money is on Public Enemy of course, but do the Wanderers win a game?  Two?  How does this series play out, in the eyes of the Godfather?”

 

I get that it’s a bit of a ‘homer’ call, but with all due respect to what the Wanderers have done in the minor leagues, they wouldn’t hold a candle to Public Enemy. This question comes up from time to time, and I always equate it to when people talk about how Alabama could beat the worst NFL team every season. It’s a fun thought, but in reality, the Jacksonville Jaguars (or Detroit Lions) would stomp Alabama. That’s the same idea here. Now imagine Alabama having to take on the Buccaneers, Bills, etc. Alabama is a glorious school, they consistently beat down 90% of the teams they play, occasionally they gut out an unexpected close one, and they win lots of championships. There’s nothing wrong with being Alabama. It’s a 4-0 sweep for Public Enemy. The Wanderers would make a hell of a D3 team though.

 

“Have you been watching Marvel's "What If?" series?  If not, the premise is that a character called The Watcher sits unseen off to the edge of the multiverse and watches various different realities play out, but he is sworn to not interfere in any of the events of these worlds.  Is the Godfather essentially "the Watcher" of the TSL, and if so, what scenario would prompt him to break his oath and interfere in our League?  I'm thinking Topper and Darryl Carr against all odds meet in a D1 championship game, and the Godfather steps in to ref.”

 

 

This is a good one. I have no idea what you’re talking about with this Marvel stuff. The GF enjoys nice nights on my back porch in Iowa with a glass of bourbon and a cigar to wind down. Not watching TV. And further more, I’m not even the “watcher” of the TSL. That’s The Sentinel. I haven’t even seen a game this season, as ashamed as I am to admit it. But I understand what you’re asking. The truth is, there’s next to nothing I’d do to reveal myself. It would take one of two things: Lenny coming to me as a ghost in real life and tell me its something I “Totally” should do. Or, the TSL is officially playing its last season/games ever, with no way of the league still existing somehow. And I don’t think that would ever happen, as I’m sure there are MANY members of this league that would keep it going in some form.

 

 

“Following the Marvel theme above, which TSL athlete would you trust the most with a full Infinity Gauntlet?  Who would you trust the least?”

 

There’s zero reason that you wouldn’t give that to Matty Ice. There is nobody else in the TSL that truly understands its power, and the ins and outs of everything. He the most prepared for such a responsibility. The least is easily Joey Batts. The TSL’s greatest bad guy with ultimate power? No, I’m okay with that never happening.

 

“There are good teams and there are bad teams... and then there are teams that are just 100% in the wrong division.  Any teams you feel would have benefited from moving up or down this session?  Ignore Titsburgh Feelers for this.”

 

I’ve gone on record by saying TOX is in the wrong spot since Day 1. Lettuce Win needed to move down as well. I’ve given TMA grief as well about moving up. Topper should’ve let Super Freaks hang out in D4. Bullet Club may have needed to go to D3. These are the obvious ones though. The slightly spicier ones are Spinelli’s jumping right into D4, the Stunts to D3 (to give us that Angels-Stunts battle we miss every season), and I have no idea what reason Show Me Dem TDs had for jumping up to D3 when D4 was the move for them.

 

“How has the TSL changed over the years that you've been watching?  For better or worse?”

 

Well, for worse it’s because I’m not there playing like I used to be. And of course the losses of Lenny and Rameer still ripple through the league. But I can’t say anything its better or worse per se. It’s definitely different. Gone are the all night drinking bashes with most of the league sticking around, with bras hanging in the bar, and people hooking up all over the place. No, that crowd grew up a bit, started getting married and having kids (sometimes due TO the crazy nights), and the world itself is in a different place than it was 10 years ago. The TSL still has fun nights, but I roll my eyes when I get a text about how people stayed “late” at the bar and then say they stayed until 11pm. It isn’t quite how it used to be, but that’s not a bad thing, its just different.

 

“Who is on the TSL all-time Mount Rushmore?  Exclude Topper, Lenny and Rameer for sake of argument.”

 

 

With all due respect to the newer members of the TSL, a “Mount Rushmore” of the TSL needs people who were around for a long, long time. I read this question and the following names popped into my head: B’s Brother, of course. Chris Cole, Both Tommy Hugheses, Dave Walter, Darryl Carr, Darryl Carr’s Hair,  Leslie Cook, Molly McDermid, Dorene Major, Val Bernal. I’m not going to pick just 4, because that feels damn near impossible.

 

 

And that does it for the reader questions. Thanks to everyone who sent some in, it was fun. But now we’ll get to what you’re really here for:

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Public Enemy 42, Losing Streak 30

Sticky Bandits 21, Slob Kabombs 0 (Forfeit)

Eyes Downtown 44, Tight Ends 34

Eyes Downtown 36, Slob Kabombs 35

Losing Streak 30, Tight Ends 20

 

 

               The longest championship hangover in TSL history continues as Tight Ends In Motion doesn’t look anywhere close to the team that dominated for the last half of the season. Multiple reports suggest QB Bro looks like he forgot how to throw a football, and the team is in disarray. Apparently Dave Baker sold his soul to the devil for that one title, and this is what we’re getting now. Losing Streak came back very strong, hanging with Public Enemy before beating up on TEIM. Slob Kabombs blow a chance to move up in the standings, forgetting their game against Sticky and then letting a win against Eyes Downtown slip away. ED, mind you, keeps winning, and finds themselves in 2nd place.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Everyone makes playoffs, so there aren’t elimination games. Public Enemy hasn’t really clinched 1st overall, but they have clinched a bye week. Eyes Downtown sit in 2nd place with two losses, so if they win they also get a bye. However, that will be tough against PE and Slob Kabombs (if they don’t forfeit). Tight Ends shouldn’t fall below 3rd place, but a game against Losing Streak, who they’re 0-2 against looms. If they win, and ED loses their two games (not out of the question) the not so great champions could sneak in a bye. I guess there’s a slight chance Slob Kabombs wins both of their games, TEIM loses, and they move up to 3rd. Losing Streak could jump Sticky or Slob if they win and one of those two teams goes 0-2. It doesn’t matter though. Any game in the playoffs in D1 is going to be tough, and seeding doesn’t matter much. Any team can win these first round games.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (Even) – I don’t care, it’s a even game. Losing Streak had one hiccup and everyone jumped right down their throats. They played well last week, and they’ve played well all season. There’s no reason to think they can’t beat TEIM again. LOSING STREAK BY 6

 

Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – It’s a matchup of two 2-5 teams, sure, but SK has been playing really well recently. Well, better than Sticky who haven’t even had close matchups the last few weeks. If anyone can figure it out though, its them. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+7) – IT’S ON! Well, is it? Not really, but I’m defaulted to saying that based on the last few years. PE has had Bobby’s number for a bit, and with a potential undefeated season on the line, expect them to play hard. However, there is nothing ED would like more than to not only ruin the perfect season, but to also clinch a bye doing it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

 

Public Enemy vs Sticky Bandits (+12) – Yikes. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 10

 

Eyes Downtown vs Slob Kabombs (+1) – The 2nd game for these teams and based on what happens in the games before them, it might not matter what the outcome is when they meet at 3:00. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

A&A 49, Bullet Club 16

Top Shot 27, Notorious BNB 13

Scared Hitless 40, Passed Our Prime 35

XTC 42, When Dove Cries 22

 

               A&A just ran through Bullet Club who apparently pulled Jeff Easton out of the mothballs in whatever storage locker they keep him in to play this week. Top Shot played a nice, easy game against BNB and they weren’t caught “looking ahead” for the rematch against A&A this week. Scared Hitless continued their winning ways, and they were so impressive that it spurred JONNY F’N FOOTBALL to email me and make sure I tell the entire TSL universe that he’s 7-2 this season (he played twice for Eyes Downtown) and that “Top Shot  is the best competition in our division and I’m not worried about Matty Ice or A&A in the playoffs”. There’s some bulletin board material for you. XTC beat up When Dove Cries pretty nicely, and they find themselves 3-1 in the second half of the season. Not too bad.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Seeding, again. Everyone makes playoffs, and the only seed that is really set is Bullet Club at #8. Top Shot takes on A&A in a match that if Top Shot wins, they could end up as the #1 seed, depending on how much they win by. If they win by 12, they take the top spot. Head to Head would be 1-1, so it goes to Point Differential. Scared Hitless is already getting a win against WDC by forfeit (see: Fall Fest). They finish 7-2 and they’ll be the 3rd seed. WDC ends up 4-5 and they’ll end up in the #4-#5 matchup next week. If XTC loses to BNB, and POP beats BC, we’ll have a three way 3-6 tie that I’m not going to even try to figure out.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

A&A vs Top Shot (+3) – Game of the Day, look for Top Shot to stake their claim as the D2 favorites. TOP SHOT BY 6

 

XTC vs Notorious BNB (+3) – XTC is on a roll right now, and if they had some better luck early on in the season, they could easily be 6-2 right now. I wouldn’t sleep on them. BNB has been rough after some early successes. XTC BY 8

 

Passed Our Prime vs Bullet Club (+8) – Both teams struggle with players showing up, so it might be a race to just see who can field a team this week. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 4

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Last Dance 50, Frodo Swaggins 29

Frodo Swaggins 30, Cobblestone 16

The Angels 45, Cobblestone 30

Grey Hair 27, Show Me Dem TDs 14

Freeballers 22, 4th and Dong 14

The Angels 48, Freeballers 23

The Untouchaballs 40, Super Freaks 27

 

               Not too surprising here. Grey Hair continues their great season, picking off SMDTDs. Last Dance gets a big win over Frodo, who then went out and beat Cobblestone. Cobblestone went 0-2 on the day because they ran into The Angels, who are one of the hottest teams in the league. I meant in football terms, perverts. They’re the highest scoring team in the division. Good luck, everyone else. Untouchaballs did what they were supposed to do and beat Super Freaks, and the Freeballers went 1-1 with a nice win over 4th and Dong, but got beat up a little bit by the Angels.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Positioning, and lots of it. Super Freaks and Show Me Dem TDs are already eliminated from postseason contention. Even if SMDTDs beat Frodo, and Cobblestone and/or Last Dance also when 3-6, they would lose the tiebreakers in any scenario. Grey Hair gets a reeling Cobblestone, and a win surely sets up a rematch for next week. Last Dance gets Super Freaks early on, and then a big game against The Untouchaballs later in the day. However I’m not too sure LD can climb too high in the standings. Untouchaballs could, with wins over LD and Freeballers. The Angels get 4th and Dong in your typical “really hot team vs really cold team” matchup. The Freeballers apparently aren’t playing all of their games this season, as they’ll only have 8, as will Frodo. Not sure who gets the forfeit win here, but it could mean the different between playing the other OR playing 4th and Dong. More than likely the Top 2 remain the same, but after that who knows?

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Last Dance vs Super Freaks (+7) – The Super Freaks can run for the bus here and look forward, I hope, to happier times in D4 next session. LAST DANCE BY 8

 

Grey Hair vs Cobblestone (+9) – Grey Hair vs Darryl’s hair. GHDC is just so hot right now. GREY HAIR BY 7

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Show Me Dem TDs (+10) -  Even without Garrett (get well soon bud), this team can still score. SMDTDs are just running for the bus. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 12

 

The Untouchaballs vs Last Dance (+7) – Last Dance can score, and they HAVE been scoring. Untouchaballs have been good all season, but with Newman firmly entrenched as LD’s starter after Ricky bailed on them, they’ve looked good. Give me the mild upset. LAST DANCE BY 2

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+1) – Both teams play excellent defense. But I’m starting to get worried about the Freeballers’ anemic offense. They struggle to score. Burr doesn’t. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

The Angels vs 4th And Dong (+13) – This is like watching a deer get stuck in some train tracks, and then you hear the whistle blowing. Everyone likes the deer. It’s a nice animal, everyone thinks its cute and enjoys it. But everyone will watch in horror as there’s nothing they can do to help it. THE ANGELS BY 20

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Breast Friends 45, Cunning Stunts 43

Puckett All-Stars 28, Today’s Feast 22

Cunning Stunts 42, Team Boccio 22

Vaspian 32, Breast Friends 24

Gucci 41, Practice Squad 27

Zack Attack 34, Itches and Ohs 33

Falconies 43, Buffalo Vice 27

 

               Look out Joey Batts, there’s a new sheriff in town and his name is Travis Cleavenger-Bernal. TCB lead his girls to a big win over Joey and the Stunts in what I was told was a great game. Puckett got a much needed win over Today’s Feast as they prepare to make a playoff push this week. Gucci is doing the same after a big win over Practice Squad kept hope alive. Zack Attack and Itches and Ohs had a very close battle in what may very well end up being a first round matchup. The Falconies took out Buffalo Vice with surprising ease, and Vaspian stayed very hot with another win over the Breast Friends.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Everything! Kind of! Okay, we know that Today’s Feast and Titsburgh are eliminated. If Gucci beats Puckett, and then Puckett loses it’s other game against the Falconies AND Practice Squad loses to the Replacement Team for this week for Titsburgh, we’ll have a 3 way-tie at 3-6 for the last playoff spot in the division. THE DRAMA! Just about every game has some sort of crazy positioning affect, so even trying to spell it all out is a fool’s errand. No, it’s easier to just sit back and watch this.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

 

Breast Friends vs Buffalo Vice (+2) – BF can’t pass Vice with a win here, but they can set up a potential rematch with them in round 1 next week. Vice is still healing up after some injuries, so they may not push it. BREAST FRIENDS BY 8

 

Practice Squad vs Titsburgh Feelers Replacement Squad – Can’t really predict a game when I know nothing about the team that will show up. Public Enemy plays at the same time, so Boccio won’t be QB.

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Gucci (+8) – Both teams need this game to get into the playoffs, but while Gucci would be living on a prayer to get it, Puckett knows they can get in with two wins. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12

 

Itches and Oh’s vs Today’s Feast (+16) – Today’s Feast will more than likely score more points than they ever have before in the TSL. But they won’t be close to stopping Steve Moser and company this week. ITCHES AND OHS BY 20.

 

Falconies vs Puckett All-Stars (+8) – What a call for the Falconies. If they watch Puckett win just before this game happens, they have to make a choice on if they want to lose this game on purpose to eliminate Practice Squad from the playoffs (and thus allow Puckett, an easier team to play against, in) and worry about the future, or do they go hard and risk injury in a game that doesn’t really mean much to them. Interesting. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3

 

Vaspian vs Zack Attack (+6) – Zack Attack is just going to struggle to score against a suffocating Vaspian defense. VASPIAN BY 8

 

Falconies vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) – D4 closes with a hell of a matchup between two of the 7 title contenders for D4. If Falconies can slow down the Stunts even a little bit, they can pull this off. Spoilers: they won’t. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing 40, Wasted Potential 30

Spinelli’s Plumbing 50, TOX 42

Wasted Potential 37, Lettuce Win 6

Come From Behind 40, Not So Sticky 6

Woodpeckers 23, 716 20

 

               Yeah, Spinelli’s, you’re great, we know. Spinelli’s ends the season 8-1, scoring 380 points. Wasted Potential will end up the #2 seed after beating Lettuce Win. The worst they can do is tie, but they own the tiebreakers. Come From Behind continues their assault on D5, taking out Not So Sticky in the process. And the Woodpeckers sneak out a close one in a very good game against 716.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Everyone makes the playoffs here too. TOX is locked into the 8 seed, but they’re going to get a win this week as Lettuce Win let them win in a forfeit. As a result Lettuce Win is locked into the 7 seed. As we said before, Spinelli’s is the 1 seed, and Wasted Potential is the 2 seed, so there’s some of your matchups. I think Lettuce Win may also forfeit to Woodpeckers from an unplayed game in Week 1, so Woodpeckers vs Come From Behind may be for 3rd place. If Woodpeckers have to forfeit that game (depends on who postponed it and why), they beat CFB, and then 716 beats Not So Sticky, we’ll have a 3 way tie for 3rd which is interesting. Whoever comes out of that would play NSS, while the other two play each other. What’s also fun is that NSS can beat 716 and move up as well. So there’s a lot to decide in the middle of the division, and a bunch depends on that unplayed game’s result.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Woodpeckers (+7) – We saw this matchup a couple of weeks ago, with CFB winning 38-26. My biggest concern for the Peckers is keeping up with CFB offensively, and honestly, they just can’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 9

 

716 vs Not So Sticky (+6) – NSS really hasn’t found their footing offensively, which is their biggest issue. They more than likely won’t be able to keep up with 716’s offense. 716 by 6

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Travis Henry’s Kids 59, Graves Bros 36

Blitzkrieg 28, TMA 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 37, Lenny’s Ladies 32

Lenny’s Ladies 50, Victorious Secret 26

 

               Travis Henry’s Kids goes 2-0 to continue their incredible hot streak this season. In turn, Graves Bros continues quite the cold streak. Lenny’s Ladies goes 1-1 winning their gender team matchup this week, and it seems Katie Swanson was balling out, according to the Sentinel. The big news, of course, is Blitzkrieg dominating TMA and handing them their first loss as QB Ryan Henery had an apparent tough day at the office for TMA.

 

What’s At Stake This Week: Well, seeding of course. All 6 teams are in the playoffs. But a very fun and interesting wrinkle is that TMA and THK face off in a double header this week that, if they win twice, THK can win the #1 overall seed. But that’s not all! Victorious Secret plays two very winnable games against Blitzkrieg and Graves Bros that could potentially vault them over TMA to grab the other bye! Nobody is locked into any seed currently, and the results of every game this week will matter for D6.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs TMA (EVEN) – I’ll do both games here, but while TMA has been just barely getting by most of the time, THK has been COOKING on the fields. John Langley has lead his offense to damn near 100 points more than TMA, and Pete Walbrandt is an under the radar D6 MVP candidate. I know THK will win one of these games, but will it be two? I wouldn’t bet on it. THE TEAMS SPLIT THEIR TWO GAMES.

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Graves Bros (EVEN) – It’s tough not knowing which special guest star QB will appear for the Ladies every week, but it may not matter based on how cursed Graves Bros has been. Their defense has been “not good” and that’s been their biggest issue. They’ll need to step it up to take this home. LENNY’S LADIES BY 8

 

Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+7) – Blitzkrieg is still figuring out their offense, but no matter who is in, they like throwing the deep ball. VS has had some issues covering that, and it’ll depend on which personnel shows up for Jordan this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

 

Victorious Secret vs Graves Bros (+8) – I can’t imagine Jordan losing two games in D6. Graves doesn’t have the girls to keep up with a gender team unless a lot of things go right for them, and VS doesn’t make many mistakes. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 12

 

FIVE QUESTIONS HEADING INTO SATURDAY:

1. Who will be there? With Fall Fest, weddings, and a lot games being relatively meaningless we will see a good chunk of the TSL missing. Historically, as I said earlier, this is a big week for low TSL attendance, ranking right behind Memorial Day weekend for “lowest turnout of the year”.

 

2. How do we fix a relatively boring final week? Boring in terms of playoff drama. Honestly, there is no reason there aren’t more teams missing the playoffs. I know that isn’t as fun, and we’d rather have more teams there for another week, but at this point the league would be better with Top Shot and A&A in D1 (8 teams), Grey Hair and Last Dance (they’re a really good team with Newman) in D2 (8 teams), Cunning Stunts and Buffalo Vice in D3 (10 teams), Spinelli’s and Wasted Potential in D4 (12 teams), And then you make a “super D5” with Come From Behind, Woodpeckers, 716, Not So Sticky, Lettuce Win, TOX, TMA, THK, Victorious Secret, Lenny’s Ladies, Graves Bros, and Blitzkrieg (12 teams). Sure D1 and D2 would be “everyone makes playoffs”, but the other divisions will all have stakes. None of this will matter in the spring when teams change and we usually have more teams, but this is all fun hindsight.

 

3. What’s really wrong with Tight Ends In Motion? You rarely see a D1 champion struggle so mightily after being quite dominant. Between Bro’s struggles at QB, poor scheduling snafus, and people just not showing up, they’re having the Season From Hell for sure.

 

4. Do you see any “slam dunk” champions yet? I think a lot of the divisions are up for grabs. D1 you can never trust to go chalk, and I know I don’t need to explain how crazy D2 always gets. D3 has 5 realistic title contenders. D4 has 7. D6 isn’t really a slam dunk either. D5 is. I can’t imagine anyone beating Spinelli’s there.

 

5. Who has the most to lose this weekend? A&A. It sounds crazy, but I don’t think they want to be losing that #1 seed to Top Shot. Rumor has it they’ll be shorthanded for Week 1 of the playoffs, so the difference between playing Bullet Club or playing one of Notorious BNB or Passed Our Prime is pretty huge.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

1. If you ARE going to Fall Fest, please be safe and careful. There’s no reason to get in trouble with the law.

 

2. Thanks again to those of you that have sent me questions and emails as of late. It always helps me write this thing from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. I enjoy talking with you guys. As always, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to hype up your team or talk smack about others.

 

3. Top games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Last Dance vs Super Freaks

               10:00 – A&A vs Top Shot

               11:00 – TMA vs Travis Henry’s Kids

               12:00 – Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown

               1:00 – XTC vs The Notorious BNB

               2:00 – The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers

               3:00 – Falconies vs Cunning Stunts

 

4. Lots of people have been coming out of the woodwork to help Coach Jay and the referee situation. Thank you to everyone that’s pitching in, you’re making Topper very happy.

 

5. Speaking of Topper, he isn’t going to be at the fields at all this weekend. The JKSL will once again be in full swing, and you can see Joe K, Jeff Krol, Travis, Coach Jay, Emily Curry, and Val for any and all of your issues that come your way.

 

6. There’s about a 40% chance of rain on Saturday, and it’ll be 70 degrees. Should be a blast if the rain holds off.

 

7. The often imitated but never duplicated Topper Sports League will be officially starting its winter indoor league on January 8th.

 

8. No details yet from Topper on the banquet, but I have a feeling it’ll be a big one since we missed last year.

 

9. If you can think of a way to improve the TSL, don’t be shy. Approach Topper, or better yet anyone else I’ve mentioned in #5 with your ideas. It’s your league too, you can be a part of it.

 

10. We really could use another Paul Scinta Cheese Day. I don’t think anyone would complain. Shout out to Paul for being a swell guy.

 

Well TSL, we’re at the last Saturday of regular season football at the Rose Garden for about 6 months. Make sure you make it count. Good luck this week!

 

-GF

Playoffs Predictions and Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 15 October 2021 10:13
Published: Friday, 15 October 2021 10:13
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 203

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, WE’VE MADE IT!

 

The adventure that began over two months ago brings us to its final stages: The Playoffs!!

 

That’s right, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins this Saturday, October 16th in the Year of Our Lord 2021 at 9:00am, Eastern Standard Time. 44 of the TSL’s 50 49 Teams still have hope going into this weekend at the Rose Garden. Not counting the quitters that are the Titsburgh Feelers, let’s go take a second to remember those that didn’t qualify for “The Race”.

 

IN MEMORIAM

 

Super Freaks (0-9, Division 3)

Points For: 22.25 (9th)

Points Against: 37.88 (10th)

Final TSL Ranking: 50th

 

The TSL’s only winless team didn’t deserve their fate, as they took being moved up a division in the preseason in stride, despite the losses. Here’s hoping they get to D4 next season and actually show us what they can do.

 

Today’s Feast (1-8, Division 4)

Points For: 24.00 (9th)

Points Against: 37.33 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 46th

 

Despite going 1-0 to start their TSL careers, the aptly named Today’s Feast proceeded to have Growing Pains each and every week since. I don’t think it’s a bad plan to drop one more division and figure things out there in the spring either.

 

Show Me Dem TDs (2-7, Division 3)

Points For: 19.63 (10th)

Points Against: 32.63 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 45th

 

The jump up from D5 to D3, despite not having a great season there didn’t seem to be the move for SMDTDs. Despite absolute killers on the female side of things like Missy Keem, Christina Nelson, Meg McInenery, and Jackee Thompson, Jon Senn’s hopes of this season were dashed early when long time QB Tim Z just decided playing football wasn’t for him anymore apparently. And so the season from hell began, and never stopped. Give them a QB, and they’ll be fine in D3. They showed signs of life multiple times this year, when people actually showed up.

 

GUCCI (2-7, Division 4)

Points For: 28.33 (8th)

Points Against: 37.22 (9th)

Final TSL Ranking: 43rd

 

Gucci may have had an outside chance to make the playoffs going into the season’s last weekend, even if it was incredibly slim. Even still, their first season in the TSL wasn’t as bad as it seems. Their QB, Kelly Kane, had to miss the first couple of weeks, and then was thrown right into the middle of the fire as everyone else was finding their groove. After taking a little time to adjust from not having nearly as much time as she’s used to from AAA ball, Gucci started progressing near the end of the season. Look out for them next year.

 

Practice Squad (4-5, Division 4)

Points For: 32.33 (5th)

Points Against: 34.67 (8th)

Final TSL Ranking: 32nd

 

I simply cannot believe I’m writing this. Playoffs without Practice Squad just seems icky and wrong. Sadly, sometimes teams just have that season where everything goes wrong, and this one was it for the Squad. Topper of course blamed Kenny, but they fought through injuries, and a completely loaded D4 to be sitting in a playoff spot heading into the day, but they fell victim to Puckett’s late season magic, and they’ll be licking their wounds on the sidelines until Spring.

 

And there you have it folks, our lovely TSLers that are no longer with us.

 

Now, onto the ones that are.

 

D1:

 

The Odds

Public Enemy (2-1)

Eyes Downtown (6-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (6-1)

Slob Kabombs (12-1)

Sticky Bandits (15-1)

Losing Streak (15-1)

 

               A crazy season that saw Public Enemy almost run the table, Tight Ends In Motion look like the championship hangover is real, Bobby’s return to dominance, and a lower half of the division that can absolutely pull off an upset in the playoffs makes this D1 a little spicy. Or, more than likely, Public Enemy stomps everyone and Cole goes out on top.

 

Byes: #1 Public Enemy (8-1), #2 Eyes Downtown (7-2)

 

#3 Tight Ends In Motion (5-4) vs #6 Losing Streak (2-7)

Points For: TEIM 31.00 (5th), LS 32.00 (4th)

Points Against: TEIM 28.67 (2nd), LS 41.00 (6th)

TSL Ranking: TEIM 25th, LS 44th

Past Games: Losing Streak 38 - TEIM 24, Losing Streak 30 - TEIM 20, TEIM 34 - Losing Streak 22

Line: Tight Ends In Motion (-13)

 

After losing twice to LS, Tight Ends got it together and figured out how to beat Jordan and Company, and just in time. TEIM has no bye this season, and they get the team that’s had their number all Fall. This is one of the worst “championship reigns” in TSL history, as Tight Ends look like a team that just doesn’t seem to have that chip on their shoulder. Key players have missed games all year, and they seem to have some QB issues they weren’t expecting. Meanwhile, despite being 2-7. Losing Streak has shown up. They’ve been in most games, if we throw out that 63-6 anomaly. It’s easy to talk about how good Chris and Ralph are, but people tend to ignore that Joe Robison, John Cale, and Ant Cordova exist too. And Amy, Rylee, and Anna are all very good at what they do. This game will be a lot closer than people think, but I’m still going to take the defending champs. TIGHT ENDS BY 2

 

#4 Slob Kabombs (3-6) vs #5 Sticky Bandits (2-7)

Points For:  SK 33.00 (3rd), SB 24.38 (6th)

Points Against: SK 37.43 (5th), SB 36.00 (4th)

TSL Ranking: SK 39th, SB 41st

Past Games: SK 26 – SB 25, SB 21-SK 0 (FF), SK 30-SB 21

Line: Slob Kabombs (-7)

 

Sticky Bandits is having that season everyone expected last year this year. It happens, especially when you go through the personnel changes that had to experience this season. Slob Kabombs have been one of the hotter teams in the TSL, but they’re still flying a little under the radar. I’m not going to throw Sticky Nation under the bus (see what I did there?) just yet, because they’ve proven to be able to compete when things look less than ideal. Their Points For would be better if not for a forfeit, and having their actual QB for some of the games. SK has the edge athletically, but SB does mentally. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

 

D2:

 

The Odds:

Top Shot (3-1)

A&A (3-1)

Scared Hitless (7-1)

When Dove Cries (9-1)

XTC (9-1)

The Notorious BNB (15-1)

Passed Our Prime (20-1)

Bullet Club (30-1)

               Top Shot and A&A stand out, but they can’t be too cocky, Scared Hitless is definitely out there looking to show the TSL what they can do. Also, the winner of When Dove Cries – XTC has a very good shot to take this home too. Notorious BNB, Passed Our Prime, and Bullet Club are also teams in this division.

 

 

#1 A&A (8-1) vs #8 Bullet Club (1-8)

Points For:  A&A 38.11 (1st), BC 26.22 (8th)

Points Against: A&A 30.00 (3rd), BC 37.11 (7th)

TSL Ranking: A&A 1st, BC 48th

Past Games: A&A 40-BC 30, A&A 49-BC 16

Line: A&A (-17)

 

Even with a loss last week to Topshot, A&A remains the #1 seed overall in the entire TSL. They’ve been scoring at will and playing very good defense to boot. On top of that, they only lost last week because Matty Ice wasn’t playing. Their reward? Taking on old rival Bullet Club for the 3rd time in 4 weeks. Bullet Club got their first win of the season last week, beating Passed Our Prime, but that came with Travis playing QB. With their own QBs, they lost by 10 with Scotty, and by a lot more than 10 with Jeff Easton. I never like to say never in the playoffs, especially in D2, but an upset looks pretty bleak here. A&A by 10

 

#2 Top Shot (8-1) vs #7 Passed Our Prime (2-7)

Points For:  TS 32.00 (6th), POP 37.50 (2nd)

Points Against: TS 25.78 (1st), POP 41.75 (8th)

TSL Ranking: TS 2nd, POP 42nd

Past Games: Top Shot 37, POP 30

Line: Top Shot (-10)        

                    

On paper, these two teams should be equal. I know that POP has once again run into issues with their team showing up. Top Shot seems to be struggling to score this season, which feels odd, but their ridiculous defense more than makes up for it. Honestly, I can paint this matchup however I want, but the truth is that it’s going to come down to how often POP can score on the TS defense. POP only lost by 7 before, and if Top Shot underestimates them, they could take this game. I don’t see the upset happening however. TOP SHOT SURVIVES A SCARE BY 2

 

#3 Scared Hitless (7-2) vs #6 The Notorious BNB (3-6)

Points For:  SH 35.50 (3rd), BNB 27.11 (7th)

Points Against:  SH 28.75 (2nd), BNB 34.89 (6th)

TSL Ranking: SH 7th, BNB 36th

Past Games: Scared Hitless 30 - BNB 20

Line: SH (-10)

 

Scared Hitless is the under the radar, feel good story of D2, and maybe even the entire TSL. After a rough go last season (and wanting to go back to D3), they stayed in D2 and thanks to some more reps in D2, Dylan Day has become a pretty decent D2 QB. Add in Brandon Farr, the fantastic ladies, and of course JONNY F’N FOOTBALL, and that’s a fantastic recipe for a hell of a season. The Notorious BNB had an awful season based on “Sticky Ends Inc.” standards. The newest hybrid of a football team from them had unusually poor results. They started off hot, but due to various factors, they just weren’t up to snuff this time around. At full power, BNB is a better team than they’ve shown, but honestly they’re just not on SH’s level. SCARED HITLESS BY 13

 

#4 When Dove Cries (4-5) vs #5 XTC (3-6)                    

Points For:  WDC 34.00 (5th), XTC 34.67 (4th)

Points Against: WDC 31.14 (4th), XTC 34.78 (5th)

TSL Ranking: WDC 31st, XTC 35th

Past Games: WDC 37 – XTC 20, XTC 42 - When Dove Cries 22

Line: When Dove Cries (-3)

 

This is as about as close a matchup as we’re going to get here. In typical D2 fashion, the season has three “standouts” and the rest are under .500. Don’t be fooled though, these two teams are very talented. A mix of slow starting, and some untimely losses that should’ve been wins 8 times out of 10 get us to where we are. These two teams split the season series 1-1, with both teams winning by two scores. This game is going to be a great one, and either one can truly win. This can only end one way: Topper overthrowing Aaron in the end zone for the game winning TD. XTC BY 4

 

D3:

 

The Odds:

The Untouchaballs (3-1)

The Angels (4-1)

Last Dance (4-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (8-1)

4th and Dong (15-1)

Freeballers (17-1)

Cobblestone (35-1)

 

                     A season that came right down to the end here, D3 was ridiculous. The Angels have been good all season, as have The Untouchaballs. Last Dance has really picked it up over the last part of the season, and I didn’t even mention Grey Hair Don’t Care! There’s so much ridiculous talent here, as I wouldn’t be surprised to see Frodo winning the title either. Or 4th and Dong. Or Freeballers. Good luck figuring this one out.

 

#1 Grey Hair Don’t Care (7-2) vs #8 Cobblestone (3-6)

Points For:  GHDC 26.56 (7th), Cobblestone 27.22 (6th)

Points Against: GHDC 22.00 (1st), Cobblestone 33.00 (9th)

TSL Ranking: GHDC 10th, Cobblestone 38th

Past Games: Grey Hair Don’t Care 28 – Cobblestone 8

Line: Grey Hair (-7)         

                    

Grey Hair Don’t Care survived the trainwreck that was D3 this season. There are a legitimate 7 teams that could win this championship and it wouldn’t surprise me. Cobblestone is the one that would surprise me. I don’t say that to be negative, it’s just I can’t imagine a team having to run the gauntlet they’d have to in order to make this happen. Cobblestone struggles to score sometimes, and getting put up against that terrific GHDC defense, I think we’ll see something along the lines of 28-8 again. GREY HAIR BY 10.

 

#2 The Untouchaballs (6-3) vs #7 4th and Dong (4-4-1)

Points For:  UT 32.44 (4th), 4ND 32.67 (3rd)

Points Against: UT 25.67 (3rd), 4ND 30.78 (7th)

TSL Ranking: UT 11th, 4ND 27th

Past Games:  The Untouchaballs 29 – 4th and Dong 22

Line: The Untouchaballs (-5)

 

I don’t think I’d have believed you if you told me how well Jeremy Burr has thrown for The Untouchaballs before the season started. It’s not a knock on the D3 QB of the Year candidate, I just had no idea how well he could play QB. Now, UT’s issue was never offense, it was always defense, and they’ve sure figured that out too. They take on a 4th and Dong team that can also score in bunches, but they struggle a little more on the defensive side of things. They’ll need Untouchaballs to have an off day on defense, and I don’t see it happening. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

#3 The Angels (6-3) vs #6 Last Dance (5-4)

Points For:  Angels 36.13 (1st), LD 35.13 (2nd)

Points Against: Angels 27.50 (6th), LD 27.00 (5th)

TSL Ranking: Angels 14th, LD 24th

Past Games: The Angels 43, Last Dance 28

Line: The Angels (-3)      

                    

The last time these two teams met was early on in the season, and it was a turning point for both teams. The Angels would “figure it out” and rack up win after win in D3. Last Dance struggled with some QB issues and internal issues, but with Matt Newman sitting on the free agent trash heap, they dusted him off and he’s been very good. Last Dance had a very good second half of the season, and they’re only a couple of plays away from a better record. This is the must see battle of the day. LD has the ability to score as much as The Angels do, But they can also get a stop or two. D3 loves having a big upset every season. Here’s this one. LAST DANCE BY 3

 

#4 Frodo Swaggins (5-2-1) vs #5 Freeballers (5-3)

Points For:  FS 30.25 (5th), FB 25.25 (8th)

Points Against: FS 27.13 (5th), FB 24.88 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: FS 17th, FB 20th

Past Games: DNP

Line: Frodo Swaggins (-2)            

 

These two teams never played their regular season game, which could’ve shaken up the standings even more had they done so. Both teams had really similar seasons. They struggled to score a good amount, and both had QB issues with injuries or real life getting in the way. Bottom line, I don’t know quite what to expect here. It’s going to be a tight game, but in the end I think Frodo can score slightly more to take this home. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 1

 

D4:

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Vaspian (5-1)

Itches and Ohs (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Puckett All-Stars (7-1)

Breast Friends (9-1)

Falconies (10-1)

Zack Attack (10-1)

 

               Yes, it’s that close. All teams are at worst 10-1 odds to win this title. D4 was a blender of good football, and every team on this list should already be proud of the season they’ve had. The Stunts are preparing to go to D3 next season, and want to go out on top. Vaspian wants to show everyone they aren’t a fluke. You know Itches and Ohs want to shut up the haters. Buffalo Vice ran into some issues along the way. Puckett is starting to work their magic. I got some sad news about Breast Friends I don’t love, more on that in a minute. And Falconies and Zack Attack have both won big games this year. Anyone can win this mess, I wouldn’t bet it.

 

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (7-2) vs #8 Zack Attack (5-4)

Points For:  CS 39.00 (3rd), ZA 29.56 (7th)

Points Against: CS 29.00 (6th), ZA 26.78 (4th)

TSL Ranking: CS 6th, ZA 23rd

Past Games: Zack Attack 43 – Cunning Stunts 16

Line:  Cunning Stunts (-8)             

 

The Stunts reclaimed the top seed last week with a big win over the Falconies. They get a Zack Attack team that has been good on the fields and even better at the bar, despite (from what I’m told) is subpar dart play from most of them. The last time these two teams met, ZA blew the Stunts away, but I’m struggling to think that will happen again. Zack Attack had a great showing this season, but it ends here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

#2 Vaspian (7-2) vs #7 Falconies (5-4)

Points For:  Vaspian 27.56 (9th), Falconies 27.44 (10th)

Points Against: Vaspian 21.44 (1st), Falconies 24.67 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: Vaspian 9th, Falconies 22nd

Past Games: Vaspian 14 – Falconies 9

Line: Vaspian (-3)            

 

Talk about two teams built the same way. Both teams do not score a ton of points, because they win with defense. D4’s Top two defenses square off in a battle where BOTH teams offenses aren’t even Top 8 in the division. Yikes. Even still, I’d say it’s working for both teams. They’re both considered championship contenders in D4. Vaspian had a resurgence this season, and showed just how deadly they can be when they all are there. QB Brian has made strides this season, and even if the points aren’t always there, the confidence is. The Falconies boast an underrated female crew to go along with solid guys. They can shut down many teams, including Vaspian. The problem is that Vaspian can shut them down even better. VASPIAN BY 3

 

#3 Buffalo Vice (5-3-1) vs #6 Puckett All-Stars (5-4)

Points For: Vice 33.22 (4th), PAS 30.78 (6th)  

Points Against: Vice 27.78 (4th), PAS 25.44 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: Vice 15th, PAS 19th

Past Games: DNP

Line: EVEN

 

I’ll never understand how Puckett does this stuff. Seemingly doing nothing, outside of the playoff picture at 1-4, they rattle off 4 straight wins to get into the playoffs on the last day, jump to 6th place, and they look like the favorites to win this game. And you know what? They are. Dan Gonzalez informed me not too long ago that Vice is going to be without D4 Female MVP Candidate Caitlyn Mason this weekend, along with the fact that they’ll be short guys AND they have some injuries. Add in the fact that PAS is working some magic, and things don’t look good for Vice, even if their jerseys do. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 7

 

#4 Itches and Ohs (5-3-1) vs #5 Breast Friends (5-4)

Points For:  Ohs 42.67 (1st), BFs 40.56 (2nd)

Points Against: Ohs 38.00 (11th), BFs 34.22 (7th)

TSL Ranking: Ohs 16th, BFs 18th

Past Games: Itches and Ohs 36 – Breast Friends 35

Line: Itches and Ohs (-3)

 

I was going to tell you all that Breast Friends would win the title. They’re on a hot streak and Travis is playing a high level. And then I found out the sad news that Travis won’t be at the fields this weekend. Val is forcing him to go to a wedding he doesn’t care about in another state I guess. Travis considered divorce, but chose to go anyway. Enter Dean Thompson. He’s the handpicked backup QB in case of emergency. The problem is, he didn’t play at all this season. He’s amazing, but he’s rusty. And while he gets to figure things out against one of the worst defenses in TSL history, I can’t imagine he’ll be able to come in cold and keep pace with one of the best offenses in TSL history. Say what you want about Itches, but they can PLAY. ITCHES AND OHS BY 16

 

D5:

 

The Odds:

Spinelli’s Plumbing (3-2)

Wasted Potential (7-1)

Come From Behind (9-1)

Woodpeckers (12-1)

716 (12-1)

Not So Sticky (25-1)

Lettuce Win (40-1)

TOX (50-1)

 

               D5 has just been Spinelli’s Playground all year and it’s not even close. Wasted Potential had a very good season, but lost to Spinelli’s twice. Come From Behind had an AWESOME return to the TSL this season. The Woodpeckers are in the right spot in D5 for sure. 716 cooled off from their hot start, but they can still score. Not So Sticky is still here for the beer. Lettuce Win and TOX are also teams.

 

#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1) vs #8 TOX (1-8)

Points For:  SP 42.22 (1st), TOX 19.00 (8th)

Points Against: SP 29.00 (5th), TOX 35.11 (8th)

TSL Ranking: SP 4th, TOX 49th

Past Games: Spinelli’s 39-TOX 24, Spinelli’s 50 – TOX 42

Line: Spinelli’s Plumbing (-20)    

 

The line can’t be high enough. Spinelli’s did whatever they wanted this season in D5, and TOX just struggled mightily. Don’t let that 50-42 score fool you, that was all Topper’s doing when he filled in at QB. This is the most lopsided match of the playoffs, and it might not be akin to watching a train hit a deer. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 24

 

#2 Wasted Potential (6-3) vs #7 Lettuce Win (3-6)

Points For:  WP 29.56 (4th), LW 20.25 (7th)

Points Against: WP 23.67 (2nd), LW 32.00 (7th)

TSL Ranking: WP 12th, LW 40th

Past Games: Wasted Potential 42 – Lettuce Win 20, Wasted Potential 37 – Lettuce Win 6

Line: Wasted Potential (-17)       

 

Wasted Potential takes on Lettuce Win in the second most lopsided game of the first round. There’s a very big gap between the top of this division and the bottom teams, and we just saw this contest two weeks ago when WP won 37-6. I can’t imagine we don’t see more of the same this week. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 16

 

#3 Come From Behind (6-3) vs #6 Not So Sticky (4-5)

Points For:  CFB 35.44 (2nd), NSS 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: CFB 20.89 (1st), NSS 26.67 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: CFB 13th, NSS 30th

Past Games: CFB 36 – NSS 6, CFB 40 – NSS 6

Line: CFB (-12)  

 

The 3rd most lopsided game of the playoffs might just be this one. Come From Behind, riding that rocket arm of Paul Lovullo, made a LOUD comeback to the TSL this season. They’re sporting the top defense in the division, and they may be the only team that can conceivably beat Spinelli’s. What a return to the league. They’re on fire right now, and they take on a Not So Sticky team for the 3rd time in 4 weeks. The first two went rather poorly. I can’t imagine anything going that much better for them. COME FROM BEHIND BY 20

 

#4 Woodpeckers (4-5) vs #5 716 (4-5)

Points For:  Peckers 23.88 (5th), 716 31.33 (3rd)

Points Against: Peckers 28.50 (4th), 716 30.67 (6th)

TSL Ranking: Peckers 28th, 716 29th

Past Games: Peckers 37 – 716 32, Peckers 23 – 716 20

Line: EVEN

 

I know that the Peckers took both games during the regular season, but they were CLOSE games. They only won by a score each time. These two teams are very evenly matched and this will be a good game. 716 started hot but as I said before, cooled off. Meanwhile, the Woodpeckers took a few weeks to figure things out and they’ve been playing very well down the stretch. This game is a coin flip, so that’s what I’m going to do. WOODPECKERS BY 1

 

D6:

 

The Odds:

TMA (2-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (6-1)

Blitzkrieg (7-1)

Victorious Secret (10-1)

Graves Bros (10-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (12-1)

 

               TMA didn’t dominate this division until they really had do, which was last week in a doubleheader against THK and they just murdered them on the field. THK isn’t a bad team by any stretch, but when I saw those scores I realized TMA hasn’t been ‘meh’, they’ve been on “cruise control”. Well, they slammed the gas pedal last week, and showed everyone why they should’ve gone to D5. THK, until last week, was slaying it on the fields after a rough start, and you can be sure they’ll be focused from here on out. Victorious Secret is having a better season, going 5-4 is pretty great. Still not sure what to think about Graves Bros, its just been an off year. Blitzkrieg has some spicy odds, I know. They’re a little better than you think, and like Ethan told me many months ago, they were going to peak by the playoffs. I think it’s happening. Finally, Lenny’s Ladies have been awesome this season. But getting Joe K back instead of Topper is going to be a downgrade.

 

Byes: #1 TMA (8-1), #2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-4)

 

#3 Victorious Secret (5-4) vs #6 Lenny’s Ladies (6-3)

Points For:  VS 31.86 (5th), LL 34.57 (3rd)

Points Against:  VS 35.86 (4th), LL 34.43 (3rd)

TSL Ranking: VS 26th, LL 37th

Past Games: VS 21 – LL 0 (Forfeit), LL 50 – VS 26

Line: Victorious Secret (-3)           

 

Girl Power reigns supreme as these two gender teams meet in the playoffs. Even if the stats point towards Lenny’s winning this one, having Joe K at QB as opposed to who filled in for the season is a big difference, although the Ladies did beat VS last season with him at QB. Jordan has helped his gender team improve with a better roster and getting some big wins along the way. This one will be a lot of fun. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3

 

#4 Graves Bros (3-6) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-6)

Points For:  GB 34.71 (2nd), BK 28.67 (6th)

Points Against: GB 40.14 (5th), BK 26.78 (2nd)

TSL Ranking: GB 33rd, BK 34th

Past Games: Graves Bros 40, Blitzkrieg 23

Line: Blitzkrieg (-6)

 

Despite the result of their one regular season game and the higher seed, I don’t think Graves Bros is better than Blitzkrieg right now. Yes, they were in the beginning of the season when BK was adjusting to new personnel and trying out QBs, but the last few weeks BK has started to really come around. They’ve given most teams fits when they’ve played them, and things seem to be coming together. Meanwhile, Graves hasn’t been themselves. This is a close game, but what it’ll come down to is BK getting a stop or two more than Graves will on defense. That will be the difference. BLITZKRIEG BY 8

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. So then, what are your official predictions? If I had to bet on the champions, I’d choose the following: Public Enemy, Top Shot, The Untouchaballs, Itches and Ohs, Spinelli’s Plumbing, TMA. A lot of chalk, but they all make sense.

 

2. Who are your surprising, but plausible champions then? Slob Kabombs, Scared Hitless, Last Dance, Puckett All-Stars, Come From Behind, Travis Henry’s Kids

 

3. Which #1 seeds are most vulnerable? A&A because they play in that tornado division, Grey Hair because I think a few teams are better than they are, and Cunning Stunts because EVERY game in D4 will be a battle and winning 3 games is going to be near impossible.

 

4. What’s your biggest upset watch? Last Dance, Puckett All Stars, and Zack Attack all have good chances to win this week.

 

5. Favorite Dark Horses? Scared Hitless and Frodo Swaggins.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. I know this is playoffs, and you’re super pumped, but please remember to respect the referees and not freak out on them. Keep your heads.

 

2. Review the Playoff Overtime Rules!!!

 

3. ANYONE CAUGHT USING ILLEGAL SUBS WILL AUTOMATICALLY FORFEIT. Just don’t do it. It’s much more strict now.

 

4. I wonder how much the league is going to be affected because of the apparent large contingent of TSLers that are going to Nashville for the Bills game on Monday Night? I know sub requests are at an all-time high.

 

5. There’s a 70% chance of rain on Saturday as well, allegedly. I can hear the teams with the byes sighing from Iowa.

 

6. Great work by everyone who helped clean up the fields after the games and to the TSL Board of Directors for doing a great job with no Topper last week.  

 

7. Prepare for the Winter League! It’s Happening! More info coming soon!

 

8. Gold Stars are awarded to all of the TSLers that keep helping out and referring. I know Topper really appreciates it!

 

9. Remember, the bar is getting remodeled this week, but the patio and bathrooms will still be open for you guys! The menu will be different though, prepare accordingly.

 

10.  With the potential for games to go into OT, PLEASE be on time for your games. We’ll be starting with or without you so we prevent running extremely late.

 

And with that, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on!

 

Good luck to all the teams out there, and make SURE you email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to inform me on how you did.

 

-GF OUT

Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 01 October 2021 16:46
Published: Friday, 01 October 2021 16:46
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 220

 

I see you, Vaspian.

 

The hottest team in the TSL walked onto the fields last weekend with something to prove, taking on two D4 contenders in Buffalo Vice and the Falconies, and they walked out 6-1 and on top of the world.

 

I see you.

 

In this very article, for many seasons, I personally trashed gave advice to them on how they needed to move down a division, or that they weren’t very good. That something needed to change.

 

And it did. QB Brian has found his stride (He wasn’t the QB for Vaspian’s Week 1 loss to Puckett), and the new weapons have settled in just nicely. Vaspian’s offense is scoring at a slower pace than most of the other D4 contenders, but their defense has been arguably the best in the division. 138 points allowed in 7 games. They’re ranked 5th overall in the TSL. They show up to the bar. They’re some of the nicest people we have in this league. I couldn’t be happier for them.

 

Their detractors might point to the fact that due to scheduling quirks (See: Topper does the schedule with his friend Mr. Wine), Vaspian has been able to avoid the Cunning Stunts and Itches and Ohs so far. But maybe the genius there is that we’ll wait until playoffs for those big matchups.

 

Vaspian isn’t the only ‘hot’ team in the league I see either.

 

I see you, Public Enemy.

 

Despite being given a mandate from Topper NOT to glamorize the 4th annual Chris Cole Retirement Tour, apparently at the wishes of the man himself, it’s hard not to watch what’s happening in D1. And that’s total NSFW, BDSM style domination as PE is 6-0, ranked 2nd overall in the TSL, has the most points for, and the best defense in D1. Every other team has questions, Public Enemy just has answers.

 

I see you, When Dove Cries.

 

Yeah, I get it. A&A is 7-0 and on cruise control. Top Shot is very impressive in D2. But right now, the 4-3 WDC is catching my eye. I know, they’re 4-3. They lost to Top Shot last week on an apparent controversial call with a fumble at the goal line being called wrong. They lost to Scared Hitless by 4. They lost to A&A by 9. There’s a world where they’re the 7-0 team, and it starts with having their roster there every week, which was a struggle early on. The have the top defense of the teams above them, and their offense is right there as well. Best point differential in D2 as well. Look out for them.

 

 

I see you, Travis Henry’s Kids.

 

After an 0-2 start in D6, THK has ramped up their game (and I guess their giant, 15 person roster) to go 3-0 since. They’re second in their division, but they have the most points scored in D6 as well. (They have scored 7 more points than the D6 ‘favorites’ TMA but have also played one less game.) Their defense isn’t the world’s greatest, as they’ve allowed 37, 32, and 35 points in that span, but it doesn’t matter when your offense is humming along as theirs has been. QB John Langley is one of the more underrated QBs in the league (such is the life of a D6 quarterback) and someone really need to tell him to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me in on the who’s who of this squad this season.

 

I see you, Wasted Potential.

 

5-2, and playing very good defense. The offense is a little behind where you’d want it to be, I know, but what are you going to do when you haven’t really had a consistent QB? The Week 1 loss to Not So Sticky is one you’d like to have back for sure. Going into this weekend’s matchup against Spinelli’s with also a 6-1 record would’ve been ideal. But you can’t change the past. Your future however, is right there in front of you. Go out and show the world who you really are this weekend.

 

I see you, 4th and Dong.

 

You lied to us the first few weeks. After a tie with Frodo, you ran out to a 3-0-1 start, defeating the likes of the Super Freaks, Cobblestone, and Last Dance. Once you started playing the top teams in the division however, you sank like a stone. 0-3 in your last few matches, you couldn’t get over 50 points when I believed in you, and now you’re set up to get elbow dropped by the Freeballers as well. You’re a bunch of phonies. There’s a reason you lost your eggplant.

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 33, Sticky Bandits 18

Eyes Downtown 63, Losing Streak 6

Public Enemy 44, Sticky Bandits 35

 

               Just a brutal doubleheader for Sticky Nation as they were “blessed” with Public Enemy AND Tight Ends In Motion this week. And man did it show as there were no “last play of the game” scenarios this time around. Just beatdowns. Speaking of beatdowns, Losing Streak apparently decided to play left handed and blindfolded this weekend. I’ll just stop at “yikes”.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Public Enemy vs Losing Streak (+8) – It’s hard to really say much about this game where one team looks very good and the other looked about as bad as they ever will. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 13

 

Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Sticky Nation attempts to right the ship against the Kabombs, who have been improving with each week. This feels like we’ll be right back to “last play of the game” excitement that Sticky just keeps giving us. SLOB KABOMBS BY 1 WHEN STICKY DOESN’T GET THE GAME WINNING TWO POINT CONVERSION

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – Despite the excitement of the 63 points last week, Eyes Downtown still isn’t quite in the champs’ league. TIGHT ENDS BY 8

 

Eyes Downtown vs Slob Kabombs (+2) – This game will be delayed for 20 minutes as they argue over who gets to wear grey. And then we’ll see a slight upset. SLOB KABOMBS BY 12

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (+14) – I still can’t believe a team that has two apparent “top 7” WRs only mustered 6 points. I’m sure Chris Nelson cares, but something tells me that’s been sticking with Ralph Finney for a week now. If he’s healthy (I heard something about an ankle injury), look out. LOSING STREAK WAKES UP AND WINS BY 4

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

When Dove Cries 21, Passed Our Prime 0 (Forfeit)

A&A 40, Bullet Club 30

XTC 37, Notorious BNB 22

Top Shot 39, When Dove Cries 34

Scared Hitless 38, Passed Our Prime 30

 

               Passed Our Prime’s goal of being the highest scoring team ever did what all of POP’s goals do (like winning games, for instance): fell short. They feared Topper and refused to play the game, and then showed up 6 hours later to get smacked around by Scared Hitless. They may just be a warmer weather team. A&A overcame a slow start to get by Bullet Club. XTC got win #2 with Joey Batts under center, taking out BNB. Top Shot got another big win in D2 over When Dove Cries, even though it was mired in controversy.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

A&A vs Bullet Club (+10) – The scheduling ladder matches give us a replay of last week (and, if A&A wins this one, I think it guarantees we’ll have an A&A vs Bullet Club match in the first round of the playoffs). A&A looked good with their entire team showing up, Bullet Club looked like they always do: losing games and missing players. A&A BY 14

 

Top Shot vs The Notorious BNB (+8) – Top Shot has shown that they can hang in D2 no problem. At this point, they’re just playing good football as they await their eventual rematch with A&A. BNB’s up and down season has been mostly downs. Their defense (or lack thereof) will hurt here. TOP SHOT BY 16

 

Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+8) – Another rematch from last week, Scared Hitless looks to improve on last week’s win with Dylan actually playing QB this time. The result will more than likely be the same. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

 

When Dove Cries vs XTC (+6) – There’s nothing Topper wants more than to beat Joey Batts in this potential QB showdown between two icons. Sure, Dubey may show up and ruin that. But just in case he doesn’t, it’s clear Topper flew in his own personal referee in Jeff May to ref this game and shenanigans will be afoot. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 12

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Grey Hair 27, Last Dance 26

The Angels 21, Show Me Dem TDs 0 (Forfeit)

Grey Hair 27, 4th and Dong 24

The Untouchaballs 29, 4th and Dong 22

Frodo Swaggins 28, Super Freaks 22

Freeballers 54, Cobblestone 35

 

               The Freeballers just dominated Cobblestone in a game that seemingly took forever. Grey Hair really made a big statement this week, going 2-0 and reclaiming the top spot in the standings in D3. D3 is a complete warzone right now. There are 5 real candidates to win this thing. 4th and Dong is no longer one of them, as they went 0-2 against the “competent” competition. Fakers. Frodo picked up a win against Super Freaks, Angels got a forfeit win. Finally, The Untouchaballs continue their dominance with another win.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs vs Super Freaks (+15) – This isn’t going to go well for one of these teams. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 22

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance (EVEN)  - It’s hard to gauge Frodo still as they’ve only played 5 games. They feel off this season. Last Dance is better than their record shows, and they’re feeling the heat from the “miss the playoffs” line that they’re just above. LAST DANCE BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Cobblestone (EVEN) – Reports of Garrett Beesing being All-Time QB for both teams despite busting his collarbone last week (get well soon my man) don’t feel like they’re just rumors. If anyone would do this, its him. Unsure who his replacement ends up being. COBBLESTONE BY 2

 

The Angels vs Cobblestone (+4) – Cobblestone will keep it close, but the Angels are just operating on that certain level that, when they get to it, they can’t be stopped. THE ANGELS BY 9

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Show Me Dem TDs (+9) – Grey Hair looks to keep the #1 seed for the playoffs, and with the way they’re rolling, I can’t imagine the circus that SMDTDs is every week will be able to overcome that. GREY HAIR KIND OF CARES BY 17

 

Freeballers vs 4th and Dong (+22) – Freeballers are pretty damn good but everyone has just forgotten about them since they’ve had multiple QB changes, only 5 games, and haven’t had stability yet. 4th and Dong are fakes. FREEBALLERS BY 15

 

The Angels vs Freeballers (+2) – This is going to be a great game. FREEBALLERS BY 2

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Breast Friends 62, Today’s Feast 26

Buffalo Vice 40, Gucci 16

Puckett All-Stars 42, Titsburgh Feelers 12*

Vaspian 40, Buffalo Vice 6

Practice Squad 38, Zack Attack 25

Vaspian 14, Falconies 9

Cunning Stunts 61, Itches and Ohs 52

 

               61-52 is a crazy stupid barnburner, and to hear that it ended on a late Joey Batts INT to seal things warmed my heart. Breast Friends are rounding into form as they handled Today’s Feast with no issue. Buffalo Vice pulled off the win against Gucci before getting punched in the mouth by Vaspian. Injuries and people not showing up are starting to rear their ugly head for Vice, again. Vaspian would also then go on to beat Falconies in a defensive battle. Practice Squad, despite injuries of their own, would go onto to put Zack Attack in their place. They’re not dead yet. Last, and certainly least, Mike Boccio made his QB re-debut and it was as much of a dud as was expected. The Emily Curry Breakfast club team filled in for the Titsburgh Quitters, and we were quickly reminded why they didn’t fare too well.

 

This Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts vs Breast Friends (+3) – GENDER BATTLE! Both teams have played 6 games, and while the Stunts have been getting all of the press (See, they’re 5-1 compared to 3-3) Breast Friends are playing just as well. These two teams are similar. Both have league legends on both sides. Both teams have quarterbacks that are acquired tastes. Breast Friends scores a little more, the Stunts play better defense. This is going to be awesome. TIE. KIDDING. CUNNING STUNTS BY 1.

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Today’s Feast (+15) – Today’s Feast preps for their D5 future. Puckett begins their usual late ascent in the standings to pull off some playoff “upset”. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 19

 

Cunning Stunts vs Titsburgh Feelers (NO LINE) – I’m not sure if we’re getting the same team to play in place of the Feelers or if it’ll be a new team. Either way, here’s hoping we’ve seen the last of the Boccio at QB experiment. Travis kept him in D1 to protect him, not hold him down.

 

Vaspian vs Breast Friends (+2) – Two teams that are hot do battle. Last time Vaspian won 44-39, so they did have an answer for “Travis runs around a lot”. Look for them to continue their momentum. VASPIAN BY 7

 

Practice Squad vs Gucci (+10) – Gucci is still figuring out how to run an efficient TSL offense consistently. There’s always a learning curve. Practice Squad is coming out to play and not just letting the season pass them by despite the mishaps. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 9

 

Itches and Ohs vs Zack Attack (+4) – Itches and Ohs can’t stop anyone, but they also really can’t be stopped. I’m not sure Zack Attack and their growing offense can keep up in this shootout. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Falconies (EVEN) – I don’t know how to properly judge this game. When both are healthy, Vice runs away with this, but I know from talking to Dan Gonzalez this week its just not the case. I’m not sure the skeleton crew offense Vice trots out can score on the Falconies good D. FALCONIES BY 2

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky 31, TOX 0

Lettuce Win 44, TOX 14

Come From Behind 38, Woodpeckers 26

Spinelli’s Plumbing 36, Not So Sticky 16

Wasted Potential 32, Woodpeckers 6

Wasted Potential 22, 716 20

Come From Behind 36, Not So Sticky 6

 

               Come From Behind has been killing it lately and they’ve been rocketing up the standings going 2-0 on the day. Not So Sticky’s problem has apparently been playing too late in the day, as they were flawless early in the day, and painful to watch by day’s end. TOX and Woodpeckers both went 0-2 on the day, which means Lettuce Win got another victory as things might be looking up for the new (returning?) team. Wasted Potential went 2-0 themselves, handling the Woodpeckers before surviving a battle with 716.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Wasted Potential (+7) – Well, here’s another 9:00am marquee matchup. If Wasted Potential is going to be taken seriously, this is the time to show why. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 2

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TOX (+27) – This is going to be brutal to watch, and someone may have to call the police before it’s over. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 40

 

Wasted Potential vs Lettuce Win (+13) – Lettuce Win isn’t quite there yet to compete with the tippy top of the division. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 13

 

Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (+7) – Come From Behind’s offense is only rivaled by Spinelli’s in D5. Not So Sticky is about as “league average” as a team can get. Give me the hot hand and the ol’ gunslinger in Paul Lovullo. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

716 vs Woodpeckers (+10) – 716 still doesn’t get the credit it deserves. But they’ve been a really good team since Week 1. It’s just hard when nobody knows quite who they all are. They’re good though, and even at 4-3 they’re a D5 title threat. Don’t sleep on them. 716 by 7

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Victorious Secret 35, Blitzkrieg 34

Victorious Secret 36, Blitzkrieg 18

Travis Henry’s Kids 52, Lenny’s Ladies 35

 

               Say what you want about Jordan Lawson, he’s still a good QB (Don’t look at the D1 results please, thanks). So giving him two games against an opponent means he’s going to improve that second game every time. 2-0 against Blitzkrieg, who aren’t in the best season they’ve ever had. But everyone makes the playoffs. The red hot Travis Henry’s Kids had a reported 29 people on their roster for the game against Lenny’s Ladies, and they continued to dominate.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves Bros haven’t seemed the same to me in over a season now, and with THK just slicing through teams, I can’t imagine that getting better for GB this week. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5

 

TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+10) – Blitzkrieg, I love you guys. I really do. But things just haven’t gone your way, and that’s okay. BK gave TMA a fight earlier in this season so the upset potential is there, especially if a week off for TMA took them off their routine. TMA BY 8

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – A rematch from last week, I assume Topper will be the LL QB again. I heard the Ladies were shorthanded last game, so hopefully they’ll be at full strength and we’ll see a better matchup this time. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 9

 

Victorious Secret vs Lenny’s Ladies (+6) – Ending the TSL day how we began it: GENDER TEAM BATTLE! These two teams haven’t faced off yet this season that I can see, so it’ll be awesome to have a big match feel to it. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Who has the most to prove this week? I’d say its Wasted Potential. D5 was declared “over” in Week 3, but WP has battled back to make this a race. A win, or even a close loss to Spinelli’s this week at least gives us the idea that someone else can take this title.

 

2. What referees are going to bail on the league Friday night at 10pm? I heard about the struggle with the referee schedules last weekend. It’s pretty lame of those refs to bail on their responsibility so close to Saturday like that. People are going to start having to start spinning the punishment wheel.

 

3. What teams do I want to learn more about? Well, technically all of them, but I’d like to hear more about 716, Today’s Feast, and Lettuce Win for sure.

 

4. Will any team go undefeated? There are two weeks left in the regular season. As of now, Public Enemy is 6-0, A&A is 7-0, and TMA is 6-0. I could see a TMA slipup for sure. I’m sure they have a late “we’ve been at the bar for a few hours before the game” game left on the schedule. PE looks so incredibly dominant, as long as they don’t have a “miss most of the roster” game, they should do it. I can’t see A&A losing to Bullet Club this week, so it’ll come down to next week’s “1st vs 2nd” matchup which aims to be against Top Shot. Spicy. I think we’ll get one at least.

 

5. Most underrated team it the TSL currently? Come From Behind has been very good lately. Freeballers are excellent as well. And we should all stop sleeping on the Slob Kabombs.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

1. Shout out to the people who stepped up during “RefGate” last weekend. Even if some weren’t perfect, it’s still nice of the league to come together and help out.

 

2. What happened to Notorious BNB? Weren’t they supposed to be good?

 

3. It appears the “Alex Buchilis Award For “What If This Team In D1 Had A Different QB” is going to Jordan Lawson. The emails I’ve gotten and the whispers around the league are starting to ask ‘What If?’. Interesting times ahead. Nothing shuts them up quite like winning though.

 

4. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, but for those who may not know, Dawson Broad of Slytherin That End Zone was involved in an accident on July 4th. I don’t know the details on his current status, but I do know that on October 24th, from 1pm-4pm, there is going to be a fundraiser for him at the Blackthorn Restaurant. It’s the Bills bye week that week so don’t worry about that. Anyway, a ticket is $30, and it would be awesome to see a large TSL presence there to support one of our own. I’m sure others have more information on it, and they should email me to give me more info so I can proceed to pass it on to all of you.

 

5. I’m tired of talking about the weather for this league. No matter what I say, it ends up being the opposite. It should be 74 and sunny. Which means it’s going to snow.

 

6. Next week’s article, I’d like to do a “reader mailbag” type thing, so please take a few minutes from your day and send in some questions please!

 

7. The best games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Wasted Potential vs Spinelli’s Plumbing

               10:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs Last Dance

               11:00 – Slob Kabombs vs Sticky Bandits

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime

               2:00 – Freeballers vs 4th and Dong

               3:00 – Buffalo Vice vs Falconies

 

8. My favorite texts I got from the fields last week had nothing to do with the games that were going on. It appears, instead, that Frank from the Wanderers was busy challenging Public Enemy to a match to see who the best team is. He claims they would win a Best of 7 series in 5 games. I heard he wanted $1000 put up on the games too. This can easily happen, and I know the TSL will accommodate such a challenge.

 

9. Referees blow calls all of the time. It’s a tough thing to do. Try to be as civil as possible. Even if they call a touchback on a fumble.

 

10. It appears that post-football darts are really ramping up at the bar. Okay, Topper just told me about how much he loves it, so that means it must be happening in some capacity. Either way, that was always a solid pastime, so get into the bar and challenge!

 

Week 7 is here, and there isn’t much else we can do about it. The playoffs are on the horizon. It’s already October. Winter Football will be back, so it won’t be too bad. Topper should have more info on that sooner than later. Just prepare to have a blast. I heard teams are already forming.

 

Go forth and have fun.

 

I’ll see you in the cut.

 

-GF

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