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Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 13 October 2023 15:09
Published: Friday, 13 October 2023 15:09
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 433

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we’re here! The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived as the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is set to begin. On Saturday, October 14th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023 44 of the TSL’s 49 teams will be preparing to do battle at the Lenny Alba Fields behind the Rose Garden to decide the 7 championships that are on the line. Again, Breakfast Club counts, just ask Topper. The only teams that won’t be playing either have a bye into Championship Saturday (the Top 3 teams in D1) or they’ve already been eliminated from playoff contention (the two Breakfast Club teams that lost last week). 


But for the rest of you, Playoff Saturday is the most important thing on your plate this weekend. For 8 grueling weeks, the TSL teams have played 9 regular season games in some of the best Fall Session weather that we’ve ever had. It made the Spring Sessions jealous. Naturally, that all comes crashing down. As the stakes get higher, the elements get harder. As of right now, my Weather Channel app says that Playoff Saturday is going to be a bit of a wet one, as there is rain in the forecast, it’ll be about 52 degrees, and the wind will be about 13 mph, coming from the East. If anyone has ever played in the wind on the fields, the open space tends to make a slight breeze feel like a hurricane. Prepare accordingly. Dress accordingly. Bring a change of clothes. 


Do whatever is necessary for you to be ready for your shot at Immortality. You only get two chances a year to prove that you’re one of the best Social Co-Ed Football teams in history. (Three, if you count the TSL Indoor League. The minor league championships don’t really count.) Everything you’ve done since late August brought you here, to this moment. Every single team other than the Cunning Stunts has at least 2 losses. And the Stunts aren’t perfect either, as Playoff Saturday has been their biggest opponent for the last few seasons. No teams should feel safe, as we’ve consistently seen that Playoff Saturday brings us a handful (or more) of upsets. #1 seeds constantly go home early. Just ask GUCCI about last season. 


The TSL regular season is just the warm up rounds for the next two weeks. You use those 8 weeks to work on your offense, your defense, your time management, and whatever else needs to be corrected for THIS MOMENT. THIS WEEK. Do not think you’re just going to coast into Championship Saturday. It never ends well for teams that do. 


After this week, only 24 teams will remain. Are you going to be one of them? 

(Disclaimer: As usual, the lines are given to me by the TSL Official Odds Committee in Las Vegas, The “TSL Rank” is based off a league wide overall ranking using very specific qualifications that Topper came up with on a wine bender 15 years ago and can’t remember. And of course we still just go with it. The PF/PA rankings are within the division, not the league. The “Last 3” is a team’s record in the final third of their season, to show who’s coming in “hot” and who’s coming in “not”.)



The Contenders: 


Legends (2-1)

Eyes Downtown (3-1)


The Pretenders:

Losing Streak (8-1)

Sticky Bandits (15-1)

Frodo Swaggins (20-1)

The Story: The Legends and Eyes Downtown both improved from the TEIM fire sale, and have distanced themselves slightly from the pack. Losing Streak is still a VERY good team that can’t be slept on. Sticky Bandits go from 8-0 to 3-6 in the blink of an eye, but to say they’re not capable of winning it all would be foolish. Frodo Swaggins is starting to show signs of life in the division, and they continue to get better. The Top 3 seeds all have byes into Championship Saturday, only giving us the 4-5 “play in” game this week. 

#4 Sticky Bandits (3-6) vs #5 Frodo Swaggins (2-8)


Points For: SB 32.22 (4th), Frodo 31.10 (5th)

Points Against: SB 33.67 (4th), Frodo 49.00 (5th)

TSL Rank: SB 37th, Frodo 45th

Last 3: SB 1-2, Frodo 1-2

Past Games:  37-28 SB, 39-30 Frodo, 38-36 Frodo

Line: Sticky Bandits (-3)

D1’s only game this week has some potential. The Sticky Bandits are mired in a rough season that they didn’t quite expect back in August. 3-6 was never on anyone’s mind in Sticky Nation, but here we are. And to make things worse, Sticky gets to play Frodo Swaggins, who may only have two wins on the season, but they’re both against Sticky. Frodo has been playing much better this season, and they’re looking like they’re starting to really “get it” in D1. They’re a talented team, but there’s a lot of newer players to the league that are still learning the TSL game in Social Co-Ed Football’s toughest division. It’s a trial by fire that they’re slowly getting the hang of. As much as I want to call the upset here, I can’t quite bring myself to do it. Sticky pulls this out in a close one. STICKY BANDITS BY 3.



The Contenders: 


Freeballers (3-1)

The Untouchaballs (3-1)

Mavericks (5-1)

The “Don’t Be Surprised When We Win This Thing”ers:


Can’t Touch This (7-1)

Cle-Avengers Assemble (7-1)

THREAD (7-1)


The Pretenders:


Scared Hitless (25-1)

Practice Squad (25-1)

The Story: Freeballers just figured it out and they’re on fire right now, rocketing up the standings the last few weeks. The Untouchaballs are ALWAYS contenders. The Mavericks can score in bunches, but will always worry about that defense. Can’t Touch This was the talk of the league at 6-0, but they’ve seemed to be a paper tiger ever since. Cle-Ass had a strong end to the season, as last year’s champs (sort of) can’t be counted out. THREAD has knocked off the rust and they’re looking like a hell of a veteran team you don’t want to play. Scared Hitless and Practice Squad just didn’t get the results they were hoping for this season, but as always, these two teams have a history of being Giant Killers in the playoffs, so do NOT sleep on them. 

#1 Freeballers (7-2) vs #8 Practice Squad (2-7)


Points For: FB 41.22 (1st), PS 19.89 (8th)

Points Against: FB 26.78 (1st), PS 37.78 (8th)

TSL Rank: FB 5th, PS 44th

Last 3: FB 3-0, PS 1-2

Past Games:  36-7 FB

Line: Freeballers (-14)


The Freeballers have had a rocket strapped to their backs for a few weeks now, and they’ve looked like D2’s most complete team overall. They’re first in offense and in defense. It took Scott and company a couple of seasons to really figure out what they were doing in D2, but they finally have the right personnel in place (which apparently means Hogan at QB, who knew?) and there’s just something about them this season that I really like. Practice Squad continues to hang in there in D2, and as they’ve won 2 more games this year than last year, they’re continuing to improve. What this team has done in the last few years is nothing short of impressive: Win D6, Lose D5 in OT, Win D4, Win D3 as an 8 seed, move to D2 and compete. Not very many teams have made that climb, which is why I’ll always point it out so our newer readers put some respect on the name. Can B and Team Lantz get this done? If they were playing ANY other D2 team, I’d say yes. But this Freeballers team is special. FREEBALLERS BY 16

#2 Can’t Touch This (6-3) vs #7 Scared Hitless (2-7)


Points For: CTT 33.33 (4th), SH 27.33 (7th) 

Points Against: CTT 32.89 (3rd), SH 34.22 (4th)

TSL Rank: CTT 13th, SH 40th

Last 3: CTT 0-3, SH 0-3

Past Games:  36-23 CTT, 25-22 CTT

Line: Can’t Touch This (-7)

Can’t Touch This won D3 last spring, came into D2, and won their first 6 games to be the talk of the entire TSL. QB Ryan Dougherty could do no wrong, as he’s expertly used his talented group of guys and girls to jump out to that 6-0 start. Since then? Things haven’t gone CTT’s way. They’ve lost their last 3 games, getting blown out by Freeballers and dropping two to THREAD. Which team are we getting? Scared Hitless moved to D2 after a few tough D1 seasons. They started off great, going 2-0 in Week 1, only to start a 7 game losing streak that had some close losses, but also some blowouts too. The offense continues to struggle as SH has yet to find ways to replace the talent that’s left them over the last few seasons, although the defense is still pretty good. If Scared Hitless can slow down the CTT offense, they have a real shot at this upset. I have a feeling we’ll see SH use some of the tricks they’ve picked up in D1 and resume their role as a giant killer here. SCARED HITLESS BY 2

#3 The Untouchaballs (6-3) vs #6 THREAD (4-5)


Points For: UT 37.67 (3rd), THREAD 32.11 (6th) 

Points Against: UT 27.78 (2nd), THREAD 34.78 (6th)

TSL Rank: UT 16th, THREAD 33rd

Last 3: UT 2-1, THREAD 2-1

Past Games:  47-41 THREAD

Line: The Untouchaballs (-3)

We seem to have ourselves a bit of a big game right here. The Untouchaballs didn’t have their best season ever, but something tells me they’re more focused on what they do in the playoffs than how they get there. The talent is still everywhere on this team, as Jeremy Burr still has Mel, Matt, and Ryan to throw to. And lots of times, that’s all he needs. They’re talented on both sides of the ball, and when they’re on, look out. THREAD was really only a couple of plays away from being the top seed in this division (or at least #2) as they’ve lost one point games to PS AND SH. They’ve beaten Freeballers, UT, and CTT (the top 3 seeds) and are 4-0 against them. The talent is there, with Dalfonso, Turner, Smith, and other top names from 2017. They’re very capable of pulling the upset, but I think UT has another gear they didn’t hit yet this season. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

#4 Mavericks (5-4) vs #5 Cle-Avengers Assemble (4-5)


Points For: Mavs 40.00 (2nd), Cle-Ass 32.33 (5th)

Points Against: Mavs 35.22 (7th), Cle-Ass 34.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavs 23rd, Cle-Ass 27th

Last 3: Mavs 2-1, Cle-Ass 2-1

Past Games:  30-21 Mavs

Line: Mavericks (-6) 

These two teams are very similar in that they’re right in the middle of the standings and both believe they could’ve been higher if not for some roster issues on some weeks and if they had made one more play here or there. The Mavericks are an offensive machine with Jordan Lawson running the show. He consistently uses his top notch females and tall guys to move the ball all over the field. The Mavericks’ Achilles heel since joining the TSL, however, has been their defense, which is near the bottom of the division. Cle-Ass are the sort of defending champions only because Travis had to revamp the roster a bit. But he did it quite well, adding female superstars like Maggie and Casey. They got off to a slow start, mostly because they didn’t play much early in the season, but they’ve been on a roll since. They’re 2-1 in their last three, but that loss was a 1 point loss to the Freeballers. Cle-Ass has shown they can hang with anyone. There’s going to be points scored in this one, and it’s going to be close. CLE-AVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 2



The Contenders: 


The Family (2-1)

The Malones (3-1)

Wanderers (6-1)

Keller Whales (8-1)


The “I Can See It”s:


Bullet Club (12-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (12-1)




Vaspian (20-1)


The Pretenders: 


716 (30-1)

The Story: The Family and The Malones inserted themselves into the TSL’s most competitive division as of late, started slow, and then started to walk all over the division. Keller Whales have been nothing but consistent with Damien Keller at QB. The Wanderers had a rough stretch before getting their groove back. Bullet Club started hot, lost a lot of close games, and finally won last week. LGR is the most talented 2-7 team in history, never having the whole team at one game. Vaspian was making strides before it all came crashing down for them. And 716 never quite fit in with D3. 

#1 The Family (7-2) vs #8 716 (2-7)


Points For: FAM 45.88 (1st), 716 28.56 (7th)

Points Against: FAM 31.88 (3rd), 716 43.22 (8th)

TSL Rank: FAM 4th, 716 43rd

Last 3: FAM 3-0, 716 0-3

Past Games:  53-38 FAM

Line: The Family (-24)

The Family was a new team to the TSL, but it was loaded with talent. They started off 1-2, but rattled off a 6 game winning streak (that they’re still on) where they just can’t stop scoring. In fact, I think they just scored RIGHT NOW somehow. They’re almost unfair. Terrell Bolden is a D1 QB hiding in D3, throwing to one of TSL best ever in Asian Pete (it’s okay he signs his emails to me that way). But then you get Leseaon Washington of Peachy Platoon fame, and budding star Brit Perry? This team is STACKED. 716 was supposed to have B at QB, but apparently Derek Pew took over and despite having some really talented players (Donte Ridgeway, James Celotto, etc) they just can’t get it together. They’ve lost their last 3 while allowing 173 points in those games, and I don’t believe that’s a defense you can just fix in one week. Getting the juggernaut that is The Family just isn’t fair. THE FAMILY BY 28

#2 The Malones (6-3) vs #7 Let’s Get Reccked (2-7)


Points For: Malones 44.22 (2nd), LGR 29.00 (6th)

Points Against: Malones 33.22 (4th), LGR 30.63 (2nd)

TSL Rank: Malones 10th, LGR 39th

Last 3: Malones 3-0, LGR 0-3

Past Games:  47-31 Malones

Line: The Malones (-10)

The Malones would be the absolute talk of the TSL if they weren’t in the same division as The Family, who are SLIGHTLY better. They’ve basically had the same season. The Malones started out 0-3 and then proceeded to go on a 6 game winning streak, where they averaged 47.5 points per game. They’ve done it with two QBs, although Rhace Colon has been really good, running around with his feet and his mouth, giving you old school “Matty Ice” vibes. (It’s a compliment, trust me). They’re highly confident and the biggest thing my informants have told me all season is that their girls are phenomenal. They get an LGR team that’s somehow 2-7 even with the 2nd best D in the league. A team that trots out Dave Baker, Kyle Conniff, and Ricky Recckio every week with Alex Buchlis throwing should be getting more than 2 wins. Of course, getting them there has been an issue. If they all show up, we could be seeing an upset here. But I have to see it to believe it. THE MALONES BY 8

#3 Keller Whales (6-3) vs #6 Vaspian (4-5)


Points For: KW 36.33 (4th), Vaspian 21.00 (8th)

Points Against: KW 34.22 (5th), Vaspian 34.44 (6th)

TSL Rank: KW 15th, Vaspian 29th

Last 3: KW 2-1, Vaspian 0-3

Past Games:  45-30 KW

Line: Keller Whales (-10)

The Keller Whales are just a very consistent team. They win more than they lose, They don’t usually put up huge amounts of points, nor do they allow huge amounts of points either. They’re right in the middle of the standings, offensive rank, and defensive rank too. Damien Keller took the reins at QB and while he has had some growing pains this season, he’s been mostly good. He has his mother and aunt (Nicole and Katie) as a pair of sure handed safety blankets, and he makes good use of Dad, Grandpa (on the sidelines with decades of knowledge) and “Uncle Eric” among others. It's a lovely family affair over here. Vaspian at one point was 4-1 and in first place in D3. Those days seem so long ago for Brian Orzo as attendance issues and drops have done him no favors on this current 4 game losing streak where they’ve been outscored 170-42. Vaspian’s usual shutdown defense hasn’t shown up much this season, and with the offense sputtering, it doesn’t make for a fun time. KELLER WHALES BY 13

#4 Wanderers (5-4) vs #5 Bullet Club (4-5)


Points For: Wanderers 40.44 (3rd), BC 30.00 (5th)

Points Against: Wanderers 36.00 (7th), BC 30.44 (1st)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 24th, BC 26th

Last 3: Wanderers 3-0, BC 1-2

Past Games: 43-34 Wanderers

Line: Wanderers (-4)

Now this is fun. The Wanderers and Bullet Club have had some exciting games the last two seasons, and now they get to do it in the playoffs. These two teams took similar paths to this point. Both started off hot, then lost a bunch of games in a row, and then started winning at the season’s end. These teams match up quite well. Frank Laudico plays QB like no other, and his unique style combined with Sal’s talent really causes some mismatches for the defense. Wanderers always know what to do no matter which 6 of them are on the field, and it's always fun to watch them work. Bullet Club had a few different QBs throw for them this season, but it's John Langley’s job now. He’s using George and Nick very well, and all of the ladies on the team - Steph, Ashley, Jess, Kelsey, and newcomer Lexi all have made great plays throughout the season. The BC defense has been great all year and if Deak is going to return for the playoffs, there’s a lot to like here. This may be the Game of the Day. WANDERERS BY 1



The Contenders:


Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (5-1)

Puckett All-Stars (7-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (10-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (12-1)


The Pretenders:


Father Baker (20-1)

TMA (40-1)

The Story: The Stunts were out for blood, crushing everyone they played against for the most part. Meanwhile the 2nd through 6th seeded teams all played each other very closely and they’re all evenly matched. Father Baker struggled with some growing pains in their first season, and TMA had a rough go of it this year. 

#1 Cunning Stunts (9-0) vs #8 TMA (0-9)


Points For: CS 51.00 (1st), TMA 25.67 (8th)

Points Against: CS 32.11 (4th), TMA 45.67 (8th)

TSL Rank: CS 1st, TMA 49th

Last 3: CS 3-0, TMA 0-3

Past Games:  45-22 Stunts, 70-44 Stunts

Line: Cunning Stunts (-22)

An absolute David vs Goliath matchup as the TSL’s highest ranked team gets to play its lowest ranked team. The Stunts have averaged over 50 points a game this season and they’ve never looked better. Joey and his girls have been humming along, and have looked simply unstoppable. The Stunts roster is a who’s who of female talent in the TSL, and they’re just a nightmare for anyone to play against. TMA may have been hastily moved up a division with the addition of Michael Boccio-Bernal, and as a result things couldn’t have gone worse. This isn’t the TMA of old, as many of their top players have moved on. They still have talent, and they still have some of the best people in the TSL on their roster, but unfortunately this season didn’t go their way. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-3) vs #7 Father Baker (2-7)


Points For: ILF 28.78 (7th), FB 34.00 (4th)

Points Against: ILF 23.44 (1st), FB 43.00 (7th)

TSL Rank: ILF 18th, FB 42nd

Last 3: ILF 3-0, FB 1-2

Past Games:  36-18 ILF

Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-9)

ILF ended up getting into 2nd place in the division by ending the season on a 4 game winning streak. Andrew Kicak’s squad can kinda score some points, but they mostly do their damage on defense, where they were tops in the division by over seven points. They get a good matchup in Father Baker, as the TSL’s newest gender team is still working on defense and getting Dave Baker to even show up for them. Amber Hay, Maddie Norton, Robin Makula, Jessie Kieta, and others form a ridiculously talented roster. They can’t be slept on, but the inconsistency on both sides of the ball (overall defense, whoever the QB is) tells me they’re still a season away. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 12


#3 Buffalo Vice (5-4) vs #6 Travis Henry’s Kids (4-5)


Points For: Vice 38.11 (2nd), THK 29.78 (6th)

Points Against: Vice 34.11 (6th), THK 32.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: Vice 19th, THK 32nd

Last 3: Vice 1-2, THK 0-3

Past Games:  31-29 THK, 49-41 Vice

Line: Buffalo Vice (-3)

We get ourselves a rubber match here! Vice and THK split the season series in two very close games that could’ve gone either way. The book on Vice has been the same for years: Andy Clark is going to throw bombs to a Gonzalez or Frank Pizza and then he’s going to hit Caitlyn Mason underneath and she’s going to shred people’s ligaments with her jukes. Add in a very talented rest of the roster who have been here before, and you’ve got yourself a tough team to play against. THK took a step forward this season but not exactly as big of a step as they wanted. Langley has been good, and Pistol Pete is always excellent. The knock on THK was always their girls, but after a free agent addition to fix that didn’t work out, the THK females have all stepped up and improved, turning a perceived weakness into a bit of a strength. For whatever reason, THK always turns it up a notch or two in the playoffs. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3

#4 Passing While Intoxicated (5-4) vs #5 Puckett All-Stars (5-4)


Points For: PWI 29.78 (5th), PAS 35.11 (3rd)

Points Against: PWI 30.89 (3rd), PAS 30.67 (2nd)

TSL Rank: PWI 20th, PAS 21st

Last 3: PWI 2-1, PAS 2-1

Past Games:  43-30 PWI

Line: EVEN

PWI and Puckett are two extremely closely matched teams. They’re right next to each other in the TSL rankings, they both have similar defensive rankings, and while PAS has a better offense, PWI also beat them earlier in the season. We’re looking at one of the best games of the day here. Colorado Mike has put together a great team yet again, and their record would probably be even better if not for the consistent absence of QB Buddy Lee. Everyone on this roster is talented, nobody is a weak link. On the other hand, nobody really stands out as a star either. PAS is built the same way. After a couple of seasons putting up video game numbers, Puckett has regressed back into who they’ve been for what feels like the 10 seasons before that. TJ Ferguson has been spotted throwing again, they still have some VERY talented women, I swear once a week someone emails me that “Mike Gelz caught another long one”. The only thing left for Puckett to do as “their old selves” is win D4 as a 5 seed. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 7



The Contenders:


Spinelli’s Plumbing (3-1)

Come From Behind (4-1)

GUCCI (4-1)

Creekers (6-1)


The Pretenders:


BAADies (10-1)

Cobblestone (12-1)

Goatsack! (20-1)

Not So Sticky (50-1)

The Story: Spinelli’s didn’t need to drop a division as they’ve proceeded to dunk on everyone like they never left. CFB and GUCCI are once again at the top of the division and looking to avoid a horrible Playoff Saturday, again. The Creekers have some life in them for sure. The rest of the division probably doesn’t have a chance, but it’ll be fun to watch them try. 

#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing (7-2) vs #8 Not So Sticky (0-9)


Points For: SP 41.33 (1st), NSS 20.11 (8th)

Points Against: SP 31.56 (4th), NSS 38.22 (7th)

TSL Rank: SP 6th, NSS 48th

Last 3: SP 3-0, NSS 0-3

Past Games:  26-20 SP

Line: Spinelli’s Plumbing (-20)

Okay Spinelli’s, there was no reason for you to go to D5 you jerks. Tell me if you heard this before: Spinelli’s Plumbing, on the arm strength of Nick Hawes, is a top title contender after averaging over 40 points a game, 5 more than the 2nd place team in the division. Whatever issues they thought they may have after a season off is long gone. They’re terrific, ending the season on a 5 game winning streak and coming in hot. Not So Sticky, Not So Much. While they relish being “giant killers” in D5, this isn’t the year for them. They just feel off, and even their usual fantastic defense isn’t there this season. While they held Spinelli’s to 26 points (one of only two times they were held to under 36 points all year - Creekers held them to 23), that was in Spinelli’s first game of the season in Week 3. They shook the cobwebs out since. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

#2 Come From Behind (6-3) vs #7 Cobblestone (3-6)


Points For: CFB 36.11 (2nd), Cobblestone 32.44 (5th)

Points Against: CFB 27.00 (3rd), Cobblestone 34.11 (5th)

TSL Rank: CFB 9th, Cobblestone 38th

Last 3: CFB 2-1, Cobblestone 2-1

Past Games:  20-12 CFB, 46-30 Cobblestone

Line: Come From Behind (-6)

A QB matchup for the ages comes to Playoff Saturday as Paul LoVullo takes on Darryl Carr QB Superstar in a hair vs hair match! Okay, fine, they’re not doing a hair vs hair match but that would be fantastic. Anyway, Come From Behind had another typical CFB season this year. Great offense, very good defense, compete for the regular season title, and maybe lose a game or two they probably shouldn’t have. Paul continues to throw a football harder than people half his age, and all of the younger people make plays for them. Cobblestone really got it together in the second half of the season, and they’ve lost a couple 1 score games. They’re not a typical 7 seed, but CFB already knows that having lost to them not too long ago. This matchup has everything, and should be considered a must watch. COBBLESTONE BY 4

#3 GUCCI (6-3) vs #6 Goatsack! (3-5-1)


Points For: GUCCI 33.11 (4th), Goatsack 29.44 (7th)

Points Against: GUCCI 24.56 (1st), Goatsack 35.22 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 11th, Goatsack! 34th

Last 3: GUCCI 3-0, Goatsack! 0-3

Past Games:  46-32 GUCCI

Line: GUCCI (-10)

GUCCI returns to the scene of the crime on Playoff Saturday where they were upset as the #1 seed in D5 in the spring. Kelly Kane and Co. have cruised through the season, picking up where they left off. I’m sure they’re much more aware of an upset and won’t look past Goatsack! this year, which is bad news for Goatsack!. Goatsack! had an up and down season that I’m not certain they’re too happy with. 3 wins and a tie are nice, but they were only against NSS (twice), Cobblestone, and they tied the BAADies. Goatsack! is more than likely going to struggle to score against the top ranked GUCCI defense. GUCCI BY 13


#4 Creekers (6-3) vs #5 BAADies (4-4-1)


Points For: Creekers 31.22 (6th), BAADies 34.78 (3rd)

Points Against: Creekers 25.44 (2nd), BAADies 42.44 (8th)

TSL Rank: Creekers 14th, BAADies 25th

Last 3: Creekers 1-2, BAADies 1-2

Past Games:  32-26 BAADies

Line: Creekers (-3)

The Creekers come into this 4-5 matchup a little disappointed. They spent a long time atop the D5 standings before sputtering to the finish line. While their defense is top notch, the Creekers play a BAADies team that’s already beaten them. In fact, the Creekers biggest issue this season has been gender teams (GUCCI counts here because of Kelly), and they haven’t quite figured out how to beat them. With a BAADies team that has a lot of talent that can overcome Garrett at QB, this ends up being the worst possible first round matchup for Mullet Guy and the Creekers. Great band name though. BAADIES BY 7



The Contenders:


Balls Deep (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Pit Harade (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (4-1)


The Pretenders:


Two Tuddies (8-1)

Mighty Drunks (12-1)

Just Get Open (20-1)


Back That Pass Up: 


Back That Pass Up (100-1)

The Story: Balls Deep goes 7-2 and the league apparently didn’t notice. They’re somehow underrated as a #1 seed. Blitzkrieg, Pit Harade, and the McMuffins all had very good seasons, and any of them wouldn’t surprise as a champion. The Two Tuddies are one of the biggest shockers of the season. A 4-5 record after being considered for D5 isn’t exactly what anyone expected. The Mighty Drunks are incredibly inconsistent. One week they look like world beaters, the next like they’re a brand new team. Just Get Open showed some promise for one week. Back That Pass Up is much more spry than in past seasons, but they’re still a few steps behind to even be considered a long shot for a title. 

#1 Balls Deep (7-2) vs #8 Back That Pass Up (1-8)


Points For: BD 31.11 (4th), BTPU 17.22 (8th)

Points Against: BD 24.11 (2nd), BTPU 34.56 (8th)

TSL Rank: BD 7th, BTPU 47th

Last 3: BD 3-0, BTPU 0-3

Past Games:  36-31 BD

Line: Balls Deep (-10)

Balls Deep comes into the playoffs riding a 4 game win streak that saw them rocket up the standings to claim 1st place. While their offense has been “just okay”, it's their defense that’s really been the story. They’re a bunch of unknowns (seriously, nobody has emailed me about them, that’s on them at this point) other than Baby Gronk, but whatever they’re doing is working. Back That Pass Up finally got their first win, and while they’ve been competitive in some games this year, there’s still a bit of growing pains going on there. Ironically one of those games they were competitive in was against Balls Deep, so maybe the idea of an upset isn’t so farfetched. But I can’t go with it. BALLS DEEP BY 8

#2 Blitzkrieg (6-3) vs #7 Just Get Open (2-7)


Points For: BK 31.44 (3rd), JGO 28.89 (5th)

Points Against: BK 29.67 (5th), JGO 32.89 (7th)

TSL Rank: BK 8th, JGO 41st

Last 3: BK 2-1, JGO 0-3

Past Games:  44-40 BK

Line: Blitzkrieg (-4)

Fall Blitzkrieg finished 2nd in the standings, but their metrics suggest that they’re a little bit more in the middle of the pack. That seems ridiculous, as any team that trots out league darling Light Red Hoodie Guy (and Light Red Hoodie Imposter Guy) should be favored to win the division every year. With that said, they get a Just Get Open team that never quite found their footing this season, other than a magical Week 2 of the season where they went 2-0. They’ve since lost 5 straight games, and they’ve had a few attendance issues that’s made getting on the same page a bit difficult. I think there’s upset alert potential here, but it’s not enough for me to pick it. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

#3 Pit Harade (6-3) vs #6 Mighty Drunks (4-5)


Points For: PH 34.33 (1st), MD 32.89 (2nd)

Points Against: PH 26.67 (3rd), MD 31.78 (6th)

TSL Rank: PH 12th, MD 31st

Last 3: PH 3-0, MD 1-2

Past Games:  52-6 MD

Line: Pit Harade (-8)

In Week 1 of the TSL season back in August, the Mighty Drunks decimated Pit Harade 52-6. Since that week, these two teams have gone in completely different directions. Pit Harade cycled through QBs before finally landing on having Rayanna becoming the starter. She’s averaged 36 points a game since taking over, routinely finding Tall Guy and Fast Guy for chunks of yards. “Fast Guy” is Sam Pezzino who shores up the PH defense as well. Gordon Kus was a welcome addition to the team, and everyone else on the PH roster improved as the season went on. The Drunks, meanwhile, went 2-5 in their last 7 games, and have been incredibly inconsistent. Jill and Kenny’s team have struggled to keep the good times rolling, partially due to attendance issues and partially due to bad play and/or drops. They’re a fast team that, when they’re on, they’re hard to beat, especially when Cam Danner is playing. This should be a close one. PIT HARADE BY 3

#4 Sausage McMuffins (6-3) vs #5 Two Tuddies (4-5)

Points For: SMM 27.89 (6th), TT 24.11 (7th)

Points Against: SMM 21.11 (1st), TT 27.11 (4th)

TSL Rank: SMM 17th, TT 28th

Last 3: SMM 3-0, TT 1-2

Past Games:  20-16 SMM

Line: Sausage McMuffins (-7)

Last year, these two were the favorites to meet in the championship game. Now they’re meeting in a 4-5 matchup after a season of ups and downs. The McMuffins are still a very good team that’s hard to score against. They have the best division in the league by far, as Alex has some really good players in Eric Pochylski and MaKensey Pietz. The problem is on offense, as they struggle to score, despite some very good play from QB Ricky. If they get into a points race, they’ll be in trouble. The Two Tuddies struggled on the season, as the D6 faves could never get it together. They come into the playoffs 1-2, and the one win was a 5 point win over Back That Pass Up, a team that beat them earlier this season. Nick Stutzman is finding his players, but they’re dropping the ball a bit too much. While the Tuddies should have hope they can turn it around, it feels more and more unlikely that it’ll happen. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 6




  • Do we HAVE to play in the rain? Yes. Unless it becomes too out of hand or there’s lightning, you’ll be playing. 




  • Who are you predicting to win each championship? Right now, It’s hard to go against the Legends, who have seemingly been toying with the rest of D1 all year and are ready to bump it up a notch. In D2, the Freeballers just feel like the only team without any big issues right now. D3 has felt like The Family’s to lose for a while. D4? How does one go against the Cunning Stunts after that season? D5 I feel like Come From Behind can keep up with Spinelli’s, and they have a better defense. Finally in D6 Pit Harade has looked pretty good and with Ray throwing, they can pull this off, GUCCI style. 




  • That’s a lot of chalk. Pick some others that AREN’T so easy. Fine. Eyes Downtown, I believed in you early in the season and I’ll stick with you. The Untouchaballs have been so good for so long. Look out for the Wanderers in D3, they’re on fire right now. In D4? ILF and that defense has me thinking they can do it. I didn’t pick the top seeds in D5/D6 so I’m not doing it again. 




  • What are your best long shots in each division? Sticky Bandits. They’re too good to be only 3-6. If everything clicks in the playoffs, look out. THREAD should be much better than the record they have, and they know how to win in the playoffs. Let’s Get Reccked is a STACKED team with winners. Puckett All-Stars are the 5th seed but they’ve done this time and time again. It sounds crazy, but Cobblestone is playing VERY well and could finally get Darryl that first title. Last but not least, Just Get Open could’ve been playing possum this entire season. If the whole team is there, don’t be surprised if they pull this off. 




  • Which #1 seed is mostly likely to lose (rank them in order of most to least likely), and how many survive Playoff Saturday overall? Oh my. After some thought, this was much harder than I thought. I think it goes Freeballers (Practice Squad is always good in the playoffs), Balls Deep (BTPU only lost by 5 to them), The Family (716 can maybe score?), Spinelli’s Plumbing (NSS might dig into their defensive bag of tricks), Cunning Stunts (Two upsets in a row for TMA?) and Legends (They don’t play). Personally, while I see a lot of 2-3-4 seeds getting upset, I feel like all #1 seeds make it to Championship Saturday next weekend. 





  • Breakfast Club Championship: BDD 45, Steph’s Misty-rious Infection 37. Becca beats Steph, again. 




  • Games of the Day: 
  • 9:00 - Breakfast Club Championship
  • 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins
  • 11:00 - Wanderers vs Bullet Club
  • 12:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
  • 1:00 - Creekers vs BAADies
  • 2:00 - Untouchaballs vs THREAD




  • As always, don’t be a jerk to the refs who are probably going to be getting rained on all day. Reffing is hard to begin with, it's even harder in the rain. 








  • Jeff Krol has informed me that there is a TSL Halloween Costume party at the Rose Garden on Friday, October 27th. Costumes are required. This isn’t the same as the Halloween Bowl, which I’m not sure is happening this year, at least I haven’t been told anyway. 




  • Three teams with the best chance for an upset that I didn’t name earlier: Frodo Swaggins, Scared Hitless, Mighty Drunks




  • The bar has informed me that they’ve loved the league this year and there hasn’t been any trouble. Way to be great, TSL. 




  • Best team with 10-1 odds or more to win the championship: Passing While Intoxicated. 




  • I know it’ll probably be miserable outside, but please remember to park properly, don’t block anyone in, and pick up all of your garbage. Don’t just leave it on the fields in the rain. 




  • One last time: this is everything you and your team has worked for all season. You’ve played and prepared for this moment. Don’t squander it, don’t let your team down. Give it your all. But as always, have fun. 




Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 06 October 2023 14:12
Published: Friday, 06 October 2023 14:12
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 446

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is reaching the end of its preseason and we’re approaching the single elimination tournaments that will award the survivors with absolute glory. So here we are in Week 8, the final week of the regular season. For some teams, this is a bye week, having already played all 9 of their games (9 teams). For others, they have a double header because some early bye weeks only have them with 7 games played (11 teams). 


It all adds up to a wild Week 8 that’s going to determine some seeding scenarios in every single division. Only two of our six divisions have 1st overall seeds set in stone  - D4 (The Stunts are 8-0, with a 3 game lead on their closest competitors) and D6 (Balls Deep finished 7-2, every other team in the division has at least 3 losses). 


Does seeding actually matter? Yes and no. Yes because it’s nice to say you’re the division champions after 9 grueling games. It’s harder to win a division than you might think it is. A lot has to go right every single game for that to happen. Also, for some divisions, there’s a pretty clear line between the “haves” and the “have nots” at some point, and finishing first usually means you’re going to catch a team that’s still having a terrible year with terrible luck, which is much better than playing a team that might have a 5-4 record, but a few plays during the season could’ve made them 7-2. 


And of course, no, seeding doesn’t matter, because the TSL playoffs are historically bananas, upsets happen all of the time, and nothing ever makes sense. 


But to a lot of people, seeding is everything. They want to be as high as possible to play the “worst” team they possibly can. And because some of these divisions are INCREDIBLY close, Week 8 is going to be a blast for the league to watch. 


As for tiebreakers, it’s pretty simple. If two teams are tied, we go with the head to head. If they played twice and split? It goes to point differential. We know that much. But if 3 teams are tied? 4 teams? We have no idea. Please remember that I’ve described this system in the past as “Topper punches the numbers into the magical standings machine and it spits out the seeds and matchups based on a lot of stuff I don’t understand.”. Today, it’s the same thing, except Jeff Krol is punching the numbers in. So if you’re tied with multiple teams, you’ll see on Sunday where you ended up. Don’t ask, nobody will know. 


So let’s take a sort of in depth look at where teams stand and what’s on the line for this Saturday for each division: 



Last Week’s Games: 


Sticky Bandits 33, Losing Streak 14

Legends 52, Sticky Bandits 26

Losing Streak 52, Frodo Swaggins 18

Legends 61, Frodo Swaggins 24

Sticky Bandits get a nice win over Losing Streak to kick off the day, before getting doubled up on by the Legends. LS would go on to dominate Frodo, Legends would go on to dominate Frodo. Sorry Frodo. 

What’s On The Line: 


Legends - They’re 6-2, they clinch 1st with a win. 


Eyes Downtown - They’re 6-2, they can’t go lower than 2nd, they clinch 1st with a win, and a Legends loss. 


Losing Streak - A win gets them a 3rd place finish. 


Sticky Bandits - A win and a Losing Streak loss gets them 3rd place, pushing LS into the 4-5 game. 


Frodo Swaggins - They’re finishing 5th. 

This Week’s Games:


Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - A very important game for Sticky, as I’m sure they’d like to avoid the extra playoff game. Frodo is playing for pride at this point, but getting a 2nd win and repeat playoff game against a team they just beat the week before could rally them to a win here. It doesn’t. STICKY BANDITS BY 12


Eyes Downtown vs Frodo Swaggins (+14) - Frodo gets a weird “10th” game but they get it against Eyes Downtown, which isn’t exactly a picnic. Bobby’s team knows that a win here places the pressure on the Legends, so they’ll be going all out to take this one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17


Legends vs Losing Streak (+10) - The Legends will know by start time if this game means anything for them. Of course, they might just want to make Losing Streak potentially play in the 4-5 game anyway, which might be all they need to get them motivated. LEGENDS BY 7



Last Week’s Games:


Cle-Avengers Assemble 37, THREAD 28

The Untouchaballs 39, Practice Squad 0

Mavericks 58, Practice Squad 26

The Untouchaballs 37, Freeballers 14


Cle-Ass started off the D2 slate with a hard fought win over THREAD. The Untouchballs shut out Practice Squad before dominating the Freeballers to go to 2-0 on the day. The Mavericks scored a bunch of points on PS en route to a victory as well. 

What’s On The Line:


Can’t Touch This, The Untouchaballs, Freeballers - These three teams have a shot at 1st overall in the division. If CTT wins, they get it over a tie with UT, but lose it in a tie with Freeballers. If they lose, UT wins, and Freeballers lose a game, UT gets it. If CTT loses, UT loses, Freeballers win both? Freeballers take first. And they could all end up tied at 7-2 or 6-3, and then it comes down to the craziness of the Topper Machine. I think. 


Mavericks - Sitting at 4-4, a win should keep them in 4th. A loss and two wins by Cle-Ass, or a win by THREAD, or two wins by Scared Hitless and they’re getting pulled down into…


Cle-Avengers Assemble, THREAD, Scared Hitless - All of these teams can tie and shuffle positions and with Cle-Ass winning over UT and FB, THREAD beating CTT, and SH beating Mavericks and FB they’d all be 4-5, and into the Topper Machine they’d go. I’d love to see how a 4 way tie between them all shakes out. 


Practice Squad - I believe that at 2-7, PS is locked into 8th place. 

This Week’s Games:


Mavericks vs Scared Hitless (+10) - I don’t think Jordan and company want to mess around this game. They just want to play their game, get a win, and prepare for the playoffs against a team that isn’t one of the “Big 3” for the first week. MAVERICKS BY 14


The Untouchaballs vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+7) - Jeremy Burr and Co have a chance at the #1 seed, and they still have a bad taste in their mouths from losing to Travis’ old team in D2 last season. They’ll be out to send a message. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 13


Can’t Touch This vs THREAD (+3) - THREAD just pulled out a 1 point win against CTT the last time these two played. THREAD has been the hotter team as of late, and CTT isn’t the same team that was running through D2 earlier this year. THREAD BY 2


Freeballers vs Scared Hitless (+10) - Freeballers may have just looked “not great” against the Untouchaballs, but that doesn’t mean they’re not one of the Top D2 teams right now. I expect them, with a shot at first place on the line, to bring their best this week. FREEBALLERS BY 15


Freeballers vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+8) - This could be a slug fest between two talented teams, but by this point only one should have something to play for. FREEBALLERS BY 10



Last Week’s Games: 


The Malones 53, Keller Whales 30

Keller Whales 45, Vaspian 30

Wanderers 43, Bullet Club 34

The Family 21, Let’s Get Reccked 0 (forfeit)

Wanderers 70, 716 8

The Malones put up a ton of points yet again, this time against the Keller Whales. The Kellers would shake it off and get a nice win over Vaspian to go to 1-1 on the day. The Wanderers broke their losing streak against Bullet Club, extending BC’s losing streak to 5 games before putting up an impressive 70 points against a very overmatched 716 team. LGR realized the only way to hold The Family to under 50 points is to forfeit, and they did just that. 

What’s On The Line:


The Family - Win and they’re 1st. Easy. If they lose…


Chaos. Keller Whales, The Malones, Vaspian - KW can tie The Family with a win then. While KW won’t win the tiebreaker of the two of them, Vaspian can make it a three way dance with a win over The Malones. If the Malones win, however, they can make it a three way tie with a win over 716. Then it’s up to the Topper Machine. 


Wanderers - If they win, they’re looking at the 3rd/4th seed. If they lose….


More Chaos. Let’s Get Reccked, 716, Bullet Club - Wanderers drop to 4-5 with the loss to LGR, which means we can have a different three way tie with Wanderers, 716 (if they win both games) and the winner of LGR/Bullet Club. (The loser of LGR/BC ends up in 8th in this scenario). 

This Week’s Games:


The Family vs Vaspian (+6) - I didn’t give Vaspian a chance to beat The Family earlier in the season and I was wrong. Since then, The Family has formed into a complete juggernaut and the hottest team in the TSL. While a Family loss leads to more chaos, it's hard to bet against them. THE FAMILY BY 10


Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - The teams have played in some form a bunch of times and it tends to be close. A loss here, as I said before, gives the potential for either team to play The Family, which nobody wants to do right now. I expect this to be down to the wire, Bullet Club loses another close one. LETS GET RECCKED BY 2


Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - LGR won this game 57-14 when the Wanderers were in that rough stretch. If anyone was paying attention last week, they’re back, and I’m sure they’ll be looking for revenge from the earlier loss. WANDERERS BY 3


The Malones vs 716 (+14) - The Malones continue to be the best team nobody is talking about in the TSL. They’re fast, they score, they have extremely talented females, they have a little bit of swagger too. Also, they drink at the bar so that’s a plus. They have a decent shot at the top seed, and that should be all they need to keep it rolling. THE MALONES BY 18


Keller Whales vs 716 (+10) - 716 has some talent, but they’re just slightly behind the rest of the division, and its caused them some tough losses this season. Keller Whales continue to just be consistent year in and year out, no matter which Keller throws for them. They’ll continue to roll. KELLER WHALES BY 10


The Malones vs Vaspian (+7) - This game could have big meaning for seeding, so both teams are going to bring their best. Right now, I think The Malones “best” is better. THE MALONES BY 12



Last Week’s Games:


Passing While Intoxicated 50, TMA 16

Puckett All-Stars 32, Buffalo Vice 24

Puckett All-Stars 30, TMA 7

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 31, Travis Henry’s Kids 20

Cunning Stunts 51, Travis Henry’s Kids 32

Cunning Stunts 56, Father Baker 36


PWI gets back in the win column with a win over TMA, who would go on to lose to Puckett as well. Puckett would also win against Buffalo Vice to be 2-0 on the day. ILF handled THK, who would go on to lose to the Stunts afterwards. The Stunts moved to 8-0 with a win over Father Baker in another gender bowl. 

What’s On The Line: 


Cunning Stunts - 8-0 right now, clinched 1st overall. 


Seeds 2-6 are nuts. Buffalo Vice, ILF, PWI, Puckett, and THK - Vice is already 5-4 and they’re done this season. Here’s the most fun scenario: If THK beats PWI, PWI beats ILF, ILF beats Puckett, and Puckett beats Father Baker (All completely plausible) we’d have FIVE teams tied at 5-4 for the 2nd seed. Chaos please. There’s a lot of different outcomes that could happen here, and it’s a fool’s errand to try to go through them all for you, so let’s just hope for this result. 


Father Baker - Clinched the 7 seed. 


TMA - Clinched the 8 seed. 

This Week’s Games: 


Passing While Intoxicated vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+6) - This is a big game for THK, obviously, and PWI has been very good when Buddy Lee shows up to QB. Whether he will or not remains the question. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3


PWI vs ILF (EVEN) - Yeah, yeah, ILF dominated PWI a few weeks ago, I know. But PWI wasn’t exactly at full strength. ILF has been better than their record shows to be honest, and usually those teams win. But I really want the 5 way tie, so, PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8


Cunning Stunts vs TMA (+20) - Don’t watch. It won’t be pretty. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17


ILF vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - Puckett definitely has been good as of late, but ILF will be reeling from letting one slip away earlier, so INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 1


Puckett All-Stars vs Father Baker (+8) - Puckett takes a page out of ILF’s book from the game before and they get it together for game two. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12



Last Week’s Games:


Spinelli’s Plumbing 36, Goatsack! 24

Come From Behind 28, Not So Sticky 17

Creekers 38, Goatsack! 20

Spinelli’s Plumbing 40, Cobblestone 34


Spinelli’s Plumbing beat Goatsack before going 2-0 on the day in a win over Cobblestone as well. Goatsack took the loss and made it 0-2 dropping one to the Creekers. Come From Behind beat Not So Sticky, who are lulling them into a false sense of security for the playoffs. 

What’s On The Line: 


Come From Behind, GUCCI - Both of these teams are done with the season at 6-3, but their seeding isn’t guaranteed yet. 


Creekers - With a win, Creekers win the division. With a loss, if Spinelli’s wins again, Creekers are 4th. 


Spinelli’s Plumbing - However, if Spinelli’s beats the Creekers but chokes against the BAADies, we’ll have CFB, GUCCI, Creekers, and Spinelli’s all at 6-3 and who the hell knows what will come of that mess. For Spinelli’s, if they win both, they’re 7-2 and they get Not So Sticky in the first round. This season, that’s a good thing, unless you’re CFB. 


BAADies - The tie with Goatsack! means that can only, at best, move up to 4, and they’d be locked into a rematch with Spinelli’s, who would have to go 0-2 for BAADies to move up. They can’t move down. 


Goatsack! - Goatsack! had that tie I mentioned which means at 3-5-1 they’re locked into the 6th seed. 


Cobblestone - playing very well as of late, but can’t get out of the 7th seed. 


Not So Sticky - They’ve been locked into the 8th seed since August. Kidding, but they can’t get out of the basement even with a win over Cobblestone this week. 

This Week’s Games:


Cobblestone vs Not So Sticky (+7) - NSS is in the midst of their worst season that they’ve had in a while. That doesn’t mean they don’t have talent, but they’re maybe having too many (or not enough?) Huggie Bombs this year. Cobblestone has found something that works the last couple of weeks, and I think they’ll keep it rolling. COBBLESTONE BY 12


Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (EVEN) - The Creekers held Spinelli’s to 23 points a couple of weeks ago, so they’re able to stop this offense. This game is HUGE for D5, as the winner will be the #1 seed (if Spinelli’s wins against the BAADies anyway). I can’t imagine Creekers hold Spinelli’s offense back twice in one season, it’s just very hard to do. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 6


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs BAADies (+7) - The BAADies beat Spinelli’s by 5 back in Week 3 this season, in a 57-52 shootout. I expect another shootout, but this time it’s going to go the other way. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 5



Last Week’s Games:


Balls Deep 29, Blitzkrieg 20

Balls Deep 41, Mighty Drunks 35

Sausage McMuffins 29, Back That Pass Up 8

Mighty Drunks 25, Back That Pass Up 21

Pit Harade 36, Two Tuddies 15

Sausage McMuffins 20, Two Tuddies 15


Balls Deep ended their season strong, going 2-0 on the day to move to 7-2 with wins over Fall Blitzkrieg and the Mighty Drunks. The Drunks would go to 1-1 on the day as they squeaked by Back That Pass Up. BTPU would fall to 0-2 on the day when they lost to the McMuffins, who would move to 1-1 themselves with a win over the Two Tuddies. The Tuddies were 0-2 on the day, as they also lost to Pit Harade earlier on. 

What’s On The Line:


Balls Deep - Clinched 1st overall with a 7-2 record. 


Sausage McMuffins, Blitzkrieg, Pit Harade - These teams could end up in a three way tie for 2nd with 6-3 records. The McMuffins are already 6-3, Blitzkrieg plays the 1-7 Back That Pass Up, and Pit Harade plays the 2-6 Just Get Open. That kind of shows a 3 way tie seems probable, which means it won’t happen. The McMuffins lose the tiebreaker with both BK and PH. If all three teams tie, I think it goes BK - PH - McMuffins, but again, the Topper Machine, anything can happen then. 


Two Tuddies - locked into the 5th seed


Mighty Drunks - locked into the 6th seed


Just Get Open - locked into the 7th seed


Back That Pass Up - locked into the 8th seed, will play Balls Deep in Round 1. 

This Week’s Games:


Pit Harade vs Just Get Open (+7) - Just Get Open is 2-6 and they had one really good week. After that they’ve been looking for players and seemingly scrambling along. Pit Harade is 5-1 in their last 6 games, and they’ve been scoring in bunches. That’s only helped along by putting Rayanna back behind center last week, and she was apparently slinging it, beating the Tud Buds by 21. Give me the team that’s been much hotter. PIT HARADE BY 10


Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up (+12) - BTPU has been playing very well on defense, and they’re starting to get it together on offense. It hasn’t translated to wins yet, but they’re much closer to one than they ever have been. Fall Blitzkrieg is cruising along, even though their record is only 5-3. It probably should be better than that. With 2nd in the division right there for the taking, they’ll be very focused. BLITZKRIEG BY 17




  • Breakfast Club Playoffs already? What happened this season? Breakfast Club looked to be pretty evenly matched for the most part. Becca/Ashley’s team ended up 5-1, playing slightly better defense/offense than the other 3 teams. Steph/Misty and MacKenzie’s teams went 3-3, although both teams played each other (and BDD) pretty close. Jenna’s team went 1-5, but they were two plays away from two more wins. All in all, a mostly even BC. 




  • After going over the divisions now that the season is just about over, which teams should move up/move down a division for the Spring 2024 season? This is a good question, and it's one that’s hard to answer because we don’t know what teams will be coming back, what new teams we’ll have, who these teams may add. Let’s assume that every team is coming back with the same rosters, and no new teams are being added. In D1, if Frodo wanted to drop down I’d understand, but I’d like them to continue to improve in D1 myself. In D2, The Untouchaballs SHOULD move to D1, but because some players already have D1 teams, they never will and that’s a shame. I also think Practice Squad could go back to D3, but they’re another team that’s just starting to win and figure it out. In D3, The Family is going up no matter what, they’re too good, and when you average 45 points a game, yeah. 716 hasn’t looked quite right this whole season, and perhaps D4 is more suited for them. In a perfect world, the Stunts win D4 and come to D3. The Angels did it, now it’s their turn. They win ALL THE TIME in the regular season, and some are thinking they purposely lose in the playoffs to not have to move up. I THINK they only lose Katie Keller going to D3, which is a big loss, but I feel they can sweet talk someone talented to take her spot. It’ll be fun seeing them join that division. Unless Joey is scared. We know the girls aren’t. And then TMA, yeah, the powers that be were just wrong about how much of a difference Boccio makes. This season should be proof that you’re D5 even with him, unless all of your really tall guys come back. In D5, nobody stands out as a “must move up”, except for Spinelli’s, mainly because they just played in D4, and taking the season off last Spring didn’t hurt them as much as they thought. Some may think Not So Sticky should move down, but don’t forget they just ran roughshod over D6 not too long ago. I heard someone say on the podcast that they’re basically a “D5.5” team, so it’s tough. As for D6, I don’t think anyone is a “must move up no matter what”. I wouldn’t be surprised if the champs stayed down. 




  • Shouldn’t there be more incentive to win your own division? What kind of reasonable perks could there be with that? I always get this question and I’m never sure what we really could do for this that won’t give a team a huge advantage. Perhaps something like you get to pick your field for the first playoff game could be in play. Usually the schedule has an entire division play at once, so if you prefer field 2, you can have that field? I don’t really know what else could be done. Maybe a bar tab that can only be used on Playoff Saturday? If you have ideas, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll pass your ideas along. 




  • I keep seeing that I shouldn’t miss “The TSL Banquet” on Friday, December 8th. But, what is it? The TSL Banquet is a wedding without the wedding. Everyone dresses up, we have an open bar, we give out awards, we have cool DJs, and we drink and dance the night away. It’s the best party of the year, lots of TSLers get hotel rooms and end up staying out much later the next day. It’s a ton of fun, and you should be there. 




  • Awards? How do I win an award? Well, you’ll have to be nominated for one! We give out awards for a LOT of different things for each division. How do you get nominated? Usually, the captains are given a google form to fill out for nominees, but since a lot of captains can’t be bothered, word is that Jeff Krol is opening it up to the public to vote on nominees, and he should be sending that out soon. 





  • Breakfast Club Playoff Predictions: 
  • BDD 51, Blachuranus 30
  • Steph’s Mistyrious Infection 42, The Dirty Dozen 33




  • I think after too many people pointed out how great the weather has been all season for the TSL, Mother Nature caught on. My Weather Channel App is telling me that there may be a little bit of rain on Saturday and the temperature is dropping into the 50s. Football weather, right? 




  • Games of the Day: 
  • 9:00 - Breakfast Club Playoffs! 
  • 10:00 - Cle-Avengers Assemble vs The Untouchaballs
  • 11:00 - Can’t Touch This vs THREAD
  • 12:00 - ILF vs PWI
  • 1:00 - Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing
  • 2:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers
  • 3:00 - Legends vs Losing Streak




  • Yes, the TSL Winter Session is coming. More details will be coming soon enough. 




  • I heard on both podcasts the idea of the refs keeping track of the players that score TDs, and I think that’s a fun idea. However, it could lead to people worried way too much about stats. Pros and cons. 




  • I wonder if the TSL Hall of Fame will ever happen or if it’s just a myth? 




  • Three teams being criminally ignored this season: Balls Deep, The Malones, and Puckett All-Stars. 




  • As if the weather maybe affecting the games isn’t enough, I just remembered that Fall Fest is this weekend in WNY. Historically that means a lot of people will be missing games, or leaving ASAP so they can see Topper and stand packed in like sardines at Balloons to get one drink every 4 hours. Ah, the memories. I should’ve come to town for this. 




  • I do enjoy that heading into the last weekend of the season, we only have TWO of the 21 Playoff Saturday matchups set: Cunning Stunts vs TMA and Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up. 




  • With playoffs coming, and the games starting to mean a little bit more, I’ll say again that you need to keep your cool with the refs, the opponents, and even your own teammates. Don’t do anything stupid that can hurt your team’s dreams of Social Co-Ed Football Immortality that everyone has been working towards all season. 




Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 22 September 2023 13:56
Published: Friday, 22 September 2023 13:56
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 453

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, only THREE (3) weeks of regular season TSL football remain until the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins its elimination rounds. (That’s the playoffs, for anyone that’s confused.) At this point in the season, now that teams have played at least half of their schedules, we’ve come to the point where we pretty much know what teams are this season. And for the four teams that have only played 4 games so far this season, we kind of know what they are anyway - Sticky Bandits have been the same for years, Back That Pass Up needs a bunch of work, Cle-Avengers Assemble have too much talent to not figure it out, and Travis Henry’s Kids….well, okay, we know what three of the four are for sure. 


The point is, teams have rounded into form this season, and we shouldn’t have any perceived “GOOD” and “NOT GOOD” teams magically switch their designations over the next three weeks. Right? Wrong. This is the TSL where everything is made up and the regular season doesn’t matter. Today’s “NOT GOOD” team is tomorrow’s 7 seed upset over a “sure thing”, Today’s “GOOD” team can start 6-0 before going 6-3 and losing in the first round of the playoffs (as the collective butt holes of Can’t Touch This and the Cunning Stunts pucker up, nervous this could be them). 


Hell, the arguably top “GOOD” team, the Legends, haven’t even started their three time defending champion, Joey Batts, at QB once this season. They can get even better. Sorry D1. So yeah, maybe you’re sitting on a “NOT GOOD” team right now - perhaps you’re Not That Sticky, or you’re a 716er, or you’ve lost your Swaggins, or your Squad needs some Practice, or your signing of Boccio is going about as well as when the Bills signed Terrell Owens - but that doesn’t mean all is lost. You still have time to get it together, it’s just going to take some work. 


Remember once again, Today’s “NOT GOOD” teams are October’s biggest storylines. 




  • Eyes Downtown finally beat the Legends!
  • The Freeballers are finally beating the hell out of opponents instead of each other.
  • Untouchaballs are still awesome, D2 playoffs looking to rock.
  • Vaspian is on top of D3 and it isn’t a Topper Typo. I think. 
  • The Family is absolutely slaughtering D3, looking to jump to D1 asap. 
  • Travis Henry’s Kids might be good finally? 
  • Passing While Intoxicated continues to rally after weak start
  • Father Baker wins! 
  • Creekers still awesome, claim they didn’t even play last season
  • 6 of 8 teams over .500 in D5, bloodbath on the way
  • Balls Deep beats the McMuffins, claims the Croissan’wich is the superior breakfast food
  • Two Tuddies figured out football again





  • Sticky Bandits find themselves in the middle of everything in D1, only 2-2
  • Jordan Lawson teams combined 4-6, but people enjoy playing for him so it's fine
  • Practice Squad wins in D2, finally! 
  • The Malones continue to win, but might be jerks, more info needed
  • Puckett continues to compete, but are no longer the supercharged team of the past
  • Blitzkrieg goes 1-1 without half their team, still treading water in D6





  • Frodo Swaggins hasn’t played in weeks, league fears they folded
  • BAADies hasn’t played in weeks, league fears they folded
  • Can’t Touch This gets humbled, finally loses
  • Bullet Club, Let’s Get Reccked, Wanderers proceed to go 0-5 last week
  • ILF goes 0-2, gets slapped around by D4 contenders, Becca to blame
  • Not So Sticky loses to Cobblestone who allegedly only played with 4 people
  • Again, NSS lost to a team with 4 people
  • Just Get Open bad again, meaning they’ll win the next 2 by large margins


And with that, let’s get into this week’s games. 



Last Week’s Games:


Legends 31, Sticky Bandits 30

Eyes Downtown 27, Legends 13


A boring day of D1 action. Andy Smigiera (the guy who killed TEIM and started the free agent frenzy this offseason) gets to throw for Legends this week and could only muster a 1 point win over Sticky and a loss to Eyes Downtown, putting him firmly in 5th place on the Legends QB Rankings. The Top 5, in order, are: Sean, Joey, Maddie, Travis, Andy for those curious. 

This Week’s Games:


Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Sticky is 2-2 but it’s not like they’re playing bad at all. A bit of the forgotten D1 team, they’re getting a Frodo squad that hasn’t played in a minute. Good timing. STICKY BANDITS BY 13


Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+6) - I know Sticky is feeling disrespected a bit, but it’s become a bit of a “prove it first” thing here. The 2 wins are against Frodo and Losing Streak. They need a win over Legends or ED to be taken seriously. They’ll still be looking for it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7


Legends vs Losing Streak (+8) - Losing Streak feels like they haven’t played in forever, but it's only been two weeks. I know Jordan has been watching game tape of the first five games like a hawk, and now it's time to start implementing the necessary adjustments. I don’t know who will be the QB for the Legends, but they’re really just out to have fun all regular season and then do their thing in the playoffs. I can’t imagine they lose two in a row though. LEGENDS BY 6



Last Week’s Games:


Practice Squad 30, THREAD 29

The Untouchaballs 33, Scared Hitless 28

Freeballers 52, Cle-Avengers Assemble 23

Can’t Touch This 25, Scared Hitless 22

Freeballers 58, Can’t Touch This 18


PRACTICE SQUAD WINS! That’s all that needs to really be said here. They worked hard, and they got a victory, finally. The Untouchaballs are the usual, winning games. Scared Hitless went 0-2, but they really showed up in both of their games against UT and CTT. Speaking of Can’t Touch This, they’ve been touched. Freeballers embarrassed them by 40 points and for the first time all season, they looked like a D3 team that just moved up. The Freeballers also beat the defending D2 champs (even if they’re a mostly different roster) by 30 to stake that claim at a D2 title contender. 

This Week’s Games:


Practice Squad vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (EVEN) - Two teams on semi-even footing here. They’re a combined 2-7, and both aren’t exactly having the seasons they envisioned. PS has to be energized - they got a win and from what I’m hearing they have really cool new jerseys. Those are things to be happy about. Cle-Ass is on the struggle bus a bit, but they also haven’t played a ton, which is all Travis’ fault. Look for the Avengers to assemble. Cle-Avengers Assemble by 1


Can’t Touch This vs THREAD (+7) - CTT got smacked around last week, but it was bound to happen. They were outperforming their metrics and they couldn’t have possibly been THAT good, right? THREAD, meanwhile, is underperforming. The loss to PS last week on the last play of the game stung, but it may have been the wake up call they needed. They’ve had two one point losses already this season and could EASILY be 4-2 and the talk of the town. After all of the publicity CTT has gotten all year, and too many mentions of “rust” on THREAD, they show up and remind everyone just who they are. THREAD BY 8


Mavericks vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+4) - The Mavericks got a bye week at the right time, as they were the victims of the Freeballers “coming out” party. A week off to rest and reset is probably just what the doctor ordered. This team has too many talented (and tall) people, and they’re communicating on defense much better than before. Look for things to have been cleaned up here. MAVERICKS BY 3


Mavericks vs Practice Squad (+10) - Same thing here. Mavs are just too talented for PS. MAVERICKS BY 8


Freeballers vs Scared Hitless (+10) - There is currently no stopping the Freeballers it seems. I don’t know how this happened. The Freeballers have been so up and down and down some more over the years that I don’t know what to think anymore. Every single time in the past that they’ve gotten me to believe in them, they go out and lay a giant egg. They’re the ex-boyfriend who SWEARS they’ve changed and then before you know it they’re texting “Domino’s” at 3am for some reason. It doesn’t matter. I’m ready to be hurt again. FREEBALLERS BY 18



Last Week’s Games:


Keller Whales 30, Bullet Club 19

Vaspian 39, Bullet Club 29

The Malones 47, Let’s Get Reccked 31

Vaspian 40, Wanderers 33

The Family 62, Let’s Get Reccked 28

The Malones 27, 716 23


The Keller Whales continue to be a very solid team that plays smart football, and they got the better of Bullet Club last week. BC proceeded to follow that up with a loss to Vaspian, making them 0-2 on the day with Langley at QB. (This fulfills my contractual agreement with Topper to poke at Langley at least once an article.) More importantly, VASPIAN I SEE YOU. Vaspian dropped 79 points in games against BC and Wanderers and they sit atop the D3 standings. That’s exciting. The Family put up massive points yet again, dropping 62 on LGR who would also lose to The Malones earlier in the day. The Malones went 2 for 2 on the day, winning against 716 as well. 

This Week’s Games:


Keller Whales vs Bullet Club (+7) - A rematch from last week is on the docket in D3, after a decent game last week by both teams. We’ll see if Bullet Club learned anything from last week’s loss. Probably not. KELLER WHALES BY 2


Vaspian vs 716 (+7) - Vaspian is on top of the world and the second hottest team in D3 (Sorry, Vaspian, The Family is just on fire). They get a 716 team that is stuck at the bottom of the D3 standings, as they struggle to make the one or two more plays they need on either side of the ball to get another win or two. They’ll compete again, but right now it's just Vaspian’s world. VASPIAN BY 3


The Family vs Wanderers (+10) - Imagine my surprise when I opened the TSL betting lines email (I don’t make the lines, I’ve told you that for years) and I see the Wanderers a double digit underdog. That’s crazy to think, but right now they’re going through the toughest stretch they’ve ever had as a 40 year old franchise, and they’re getting a RED HOT Family that’s chock full of weapons. The Family continues to run through D3. THE FAMILY BY 13




Last Week’s Games:


Travis Henry’s Kids 31, Buffalo Vice 29

Father Baker 58, TMA 28

Passing While Intoxicated 64, Father Baker 44

Buffalo Vice 37, ILF 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, ILF 24

Passing While Intoxicated 43, Puckett All-Stars 30


THK finally plays some games this season, and they walk away with two impressive wins over Buffalo Vice and ILF. Vice would later go on to also beat ILF, making them 0-2 on the day. Father Baker gets their first win, and it comes at the expense of TMA. The newest gender team in the TSL would NOT get win #2 as PWI would put up a lot of points (64) to beat them, before dropping another 43 on PAS. 

This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Vice vs Father Baker (+13) - This matchup just isn’t great for Father Baker. The ladies are still struggling with defense and now they’re getting Buffalo Vice who can score like the dickens. Andy loves throwing deep. We say it every game, because it holds true. And in this matchup? He might do it literally every play. BUFFALO VICE BY 20


Travis Henry’s Kids vs TMA (+12) - THK has been rolling, and TMA has been, well, not. They’re not playing THAT bad, but I’m sure it feels like they’re letting each other down. That’s not the case as they’ve been in most of their games and it’s just gotten away from them at the end. For this game, they should just have Boccio man Pistol Pete, and force Langley to have to use someone else. I’m not sure it’ll work, but hey, it’s worth a shot. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3


Travis Henry’s Kids vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - A rematch of last week’s barnburner is something everyone should want to see. Vice is looking for revenge after last week’s two point loss, and I’m sure they’ve learned a thing or two from a week ago. THK is going to continue to stick to the plan that worked from last week, and we’ll have another good game on our hands. Vice gets the win back. BUFFALO VICE BY 2

Passing While Intoxicated vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+7) - I want to make it known that every single week I hate writing D4. The team names are too damn long (shout out to TMA) and I’m strongly considering shortening everyone’s name every time. PWI, ILF, THK, PAS, you’re all on notice. Anyway, PWI has found their groove. The offense is humming along, scoring 48.7 points in the last three weeks. ILF, to their credit, has arguably the best defense in the league, and should slow them down. The problem? They can’t score. 27 points per game isn’t the greatest, and in this game, they’re going to need at least 30. PWI BY 8



Last Week’s Games:


Creekers 28, Spinelli’s Plumbing 23

Cobblestone 56, Not So Sticky 40

GUCCI 37, Cobblestone 20

Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Come From Behind 57


The Creekers continue to impress, slowing down the Spinelli’s offense and taking another big win. Spinelli’s would respond by beating CFB in a crazy high scoring game, with 115 points between the two teams in a 1 point win. Cobblestone apparently played with 4 people, and beat NSS anyway, but would go on to lose to GUCCI after that. 

This Week’s Games:


Come From Behind vs Goatsack! (+8) - CFB continues to keep churning out good seasons. Even at 4-2, the two losses were the 1 point loss to Spinelli’s and an 8 point loss to Creekers. They could easily be 6-0 if two plays went differently. They have a full roster mixed with youth and, um, experience. They’ll continue to compete as long as Paul’s arm stays attached. Goatsack is enjoying a nice second season in the TSL, but they still struggle against the top teams in the division. A win here would be huge for them. Would be. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10


Come From Behind vs Cobblestone (+10) - CFB beat Cobblestone by 8 earlier in the year and I can’t fathom a way they lose this one. Cobblestone has struggled with their roster for two decades, so it isn’t surprising that A: they only had four people last week and B: they won a game anyway. The talent is there, Darryl is a magician, but they always struggle with CFB. COME FROM BEHIND BY 9


Creekers vs BAADies (+8) - The BAADies just started to get into a nice flow before they took off the last two weeks and ruined whatever mojo they had going. Their reward is getting to play the red hot Creekers, who have relied on a suffocating defense to run D5. It’ll be interesting to see how the Creekers deal with the talented ladies of the BAADies. My prediction? Creekers win on a late INT because Garrett is washed up. CREEKERS BY 4


GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+14) - NSS has too many great football minds to really be this bad/unlucky. I was listening to the TSL podcast yesterday, and Mike Thomas said it best for them (I’m paraphrasing here): essentially, NSS is a tweener team. Too good for D6, and not good enough for D5. Unfortunately, we don’t have a D5.5, so they get stuck in limbo, but this is also the team that upsets CFB in the playoffs, so maybe they’re just playing possum. GUCCI isn’t in that boat. They’re a damn good D5 team, and after some rocky weeks, they’re back on track. GUCCI BY 13


GUCCI vs BAADies (+8) - A rematch from Week 1 that GUCCI won 44-16. The BAADies have indeed improved since then, but GUCCI is still quite good, BAADies haven’t played much lately, and GUCCI takes away the BAADies’ gender team advantage by also getting 8 points a TD. GUCCI BY 14



Last Week’s Games:


Balls Deep 33, Sausage McMuffins 16

Two Tuddies 22, Just Get Open 8

Mighty Drunks 54, Blitzkrieg 15

Blitzkrieg 49, Pit Harade 36


I give up on trying to figure out who is good and who isn’t in D6. Anyone can win. Balls Deep knocks off the McMuffins to retake control over 1st place in the division. Two Tuddies continue to be back on track, putting up another victory over Just Get Open, who continues to be a “yo-yo” team, going up and down every other week. The Mighty Drunks followed up being terrible for a few games by being awesome again in a win over Fall Blitzkrieg, and then FB went out and beat Pit Harade right after. 

This Week’s Games:


Balls Deep vs Just Get Open (+6) - Based on how the seasons have gone for these two teams, Balls Deep gets to 1st overall and blows it, and then Just Get Open looks terrible and then stomps someone. Here we go again. I’ll just play the trends. JUST GET OPEN BY 10


Pit Harade vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - PH has found their groove on offense with Gordon throwing for them, constantly using Tall Guy and Fast Guy to abuse matchups. PH still has some defensive issues to worry about, but BTPU has issues all over the place that they still need to overcome. PIT HARADE BY 13


Two Tuddies vs Fall Blitzkrieg (+6) - FBK was allegedly missing a lot of players last week, including the most important player in Light Red Hoodie Guy. If they’re going to be taken seriously as D6 contenders, this is a big game for them. The Tud Buds have shaken off the rough start to remind everyone in D6 just who they are and why they were considered for D5 in the offseason. They’re starting to play at their very high level again, which could be bad for everyone else. TWO TUDDIES BY 12


Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+10) - The McMuffins suffered their first loss of the season against Balls Deep, but word is they were short handed for that contest anyway. They’ll be looking to get back on track against a not too bad Pit Harade team, who are starting to come along, but they’re not quite on the McMuffins’ level yet. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 16


Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (EVEN) - I don’t know which version of the Drunks we’ll be getting this week. The one that has the dynamite offense or the one that struggles everywhere. The McMuffins are nothing if not consistent. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 7


Two Tuddies vs Back That Pass Up (+17) - Based on how both teams are playing, and that the Tuddies want revenge for being the only team to ever lose to BTPU, this game might be a bloodbath that children shouldn’t watch. TWO TUDDIES BY 20




  • Are the Freeballers actually for real? I don’t know. I want to say yes. Hogan gives them the right kind of psychopath that fits in with them and they have immediate chemistry. I want to say yes, as scary as that is. 




  • Are the Legends just playing with the rest of the league at this point? I don’t think so. I know they’re having fun and rotating QBs, but I believe that’s out of necessity more than anything. The whispers that they wanted to replace Joey at QB have been there for a while, even if team management denies them. Perhaps they’re just looking for the best contingency plan in case Joey gets hurt? 




  • Which division has become the most interesting? D2 is fun at the top, but I’m going to say it’s D5. I’m just as surprised as you are. After a few seasons of only having 2-3 “contenders”, D5 has 6 teams over .500 and the 6th place team, Spinelli’s Plumbing, just beat the 2nd place CFB 58-57. All Top 6 teams have over 200 points scored on the season except for the 1st place Creekers who have 191, but they have a significantly better defense than the others. Add in that Cobblestone and Not So Sticky are still more than capable of pulling off playoff upsets, and I have NO idea what’ll happen in this one. 




  • So then, which division is the most boring? Every division has its own intrigue, and I won’t say any of them are “boring”, but D1 is just kind of blah. It got a bit interesting with more teams last season, but right now it just feels like we’re on the crash course of Eyes Downtown vs Legends in the final, after Losing Streak and Sticky give them good games in Round 1. 




  • How has Breakfast Club been? It’s kind of going according to plan. The games are close, but BC has been mostly chalk based off the draft. Becca/Ashley’s team is very good, Steph/Misty and Mackenzie’s teams have been good but not perfect, and Jenna’s team leaves a bit to be desired. What’s more interesting is how the thought of only four teams with larger rosters would alleviate the issues that arise with teams needing 9am subs more often than not. However it seems like EVERYONE keeps showing up. BC is better with at least 6 teams, so hopefully in the Spring we get back to where we should be. 





  • Has anything been more clutch this season than the weather? I know global warming is considered a bad thing, but it’s been nothing but good for the league. My Weather Channel app says you’re looking at 72 degrees, but cloudy this week. It’s late September. Be grateful. 




  • The bar “special” this week is that Woodcock Bros is going to be at the bar from 2-4pm with two kegs to give out samples. Joe K put out the challenge on the podcast to all of the TSL: Get those kegs empty. Good luck to you. 




  • Three teams that need a win: Losing Streak, TMA, THREAD




  • Games of the Day: 
  • 10:00 - Come From Behind vs Goatsack!
  • 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Keller Whales
  • 12:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
  • 1:00 - ILF vs PWI
  • 2:00 - Mighty Drunks vs Sausage McMuffins
  • 3:00 - The Family vs Wanderers
  • Breakfast Club Predictions:
  • BDD 37, The Dirty Dozen 28
  • Steph’s Mistyrious Infection 42, Blach-ur-anus 22




  • I’m interested to see how both Frodo and the BAADies do after taking two weeks off. I guess I’m just interested to see how Garrett throws now that he’s had his darkness retreat or whatever he was on. If he’s rusty just as he was starting to improve, it’s going to be a long three weeks for them. 




  • Will the real Balls Deep please stand up? No team has played up or down to their competition more than they have this season. 




  • Again, Friday December 8th is the TSL Banquet. Save the date. 




  • After hearing Mike Thomas on the TSL podcast this week, it’s still amazing that he’s never won nicest person in the league. That should change asap. 




  • Word is Topper made an appearance at the fields this week, proving he’s not dead, AND he’s talking about his return to playing. Players are lining up to get onto his next team. The only issue, of course, is that it’s all guys and the girls are staying far, far away. Typical. 




Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 29 September 2023 17:30
Published: Friday, 29 September 2023 17:30
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 453


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is only two weeks away from its elimination rounds. There isn’t much time left for teams to correct what ails them, if it’s fixable at all. With the Rameer Green Memorial Social Co-Ed Football Elimination Race (shortened to “the playoffs”, to make it easier since RGMSCER is really hard to say), to soon be played on the hallowed grounds of the Lenny Alba Fields at the Rose Garden, teams are naturally starting to turn an eye towards the standings as they figure out who their first round opponents are as they attempt to achieve immortality. 


But, I caution them from doing so. In the league’s entire history, the TSL has proven again and again that this is a “What have you done for me lately?” type of place. I’ve said it before, how teams are playing back in August has nothing to do with how they’ll be once September ends. I like that a good chunk of you just sang “Wake Me Up When September Ends” in your head, and if you didn’t then, you just did now. 


Anyway, the entire point is this: the teams that have themselves trending in the right direction RIGHT NOW are the ones that, statistically, end up doing much, much better in the playoffs. Yes, there will always be that team that has looked awful all season pulling an upset or two (we call this the “Practice Squad”) in the playoffs, and a Top Team that looked dominant lose in the first round regardless. It’s the nature of the beast. But, again, the teams that peak at the right time (even if they finish as 3 seed, or a 6 seed, etc) tend to have the most success. So who are they right now? And who’s in trouble as we head into October? 


Naturally, I’ve already done the work for you. If your team isn’t listed, you’re pretty much just in the middle, and can go either way right now. 



Last Week’s Games:


Frodo Swaggins 39, Sticky Bandits 30

Eyes Downtown 43, Sticky Bandits 35

Losing Streak 36, Legends 24

Frodo gets that dynamite first win over Sticky, who would drop to 0-2 on the day with a loss to Eyes Downtown later on. Losing Streak makes their return and they beat the Legends, giving LS a lot of confidence they can win the whole thing. 

Trending Up: 


Frodo Swaggins - It’s hard not to point out that they won their first game last week and they’re coming together as a team. They have 3 more games in the next two weeks to really lock down what they’re doing on the field and be a problem for the top teams in the division. 


Eyes Downtown - It’s hard to argue against them. 6-2, playing well, and everyone seems to be having a great time. 


Losing Streak - They beat the Legends and they look really good in pink and black, giving me strong Bret “Hitman” Hart vibes. 

Trending Down:


Sticky Bandits - They score pretty well, but it’s becoming apparent that they’ve forgotten how to stop anyone. Jeff Krol has once again ignored getting the team on the same page, instead focusing on things like “being a father”, “not fixing the Bills Bus”, and “running the entire league”. It’s no wonder the “Kicak to Eyes Downtown in the Spring” rumors keep getting louder. 


Legends - They’ve lost the last two games, and while I’m sure they’ll be fine, the losses start to make them internally wonder if they really are better off with a QB who’s over 5’3 tall. 

This Week’s Games:


Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+8) - As disjointed as the Sticky Nation looks right now, the reality is that they’re only a game behind LS for the 3rd seed in the division. This game has huge playoff implications, as a Sticky win can draw these two even at 3-4 and put Losing Streak in the 4-5 seed matchup against Frodo. Losing Streak has bigger fish to fry. LOSING STREAK BY 7


Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+10) - Things don’t get easier for Sticky as they get to jump right into a matchup with the Legends. These teams usually have pretty good games against each other, and I expect this one to come down to the wire. LEGENDS BY 3


Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo got a little mojo going last week, but Losing Streak is here to erase those good feelings right off the bat. LS is the “forgotten” team in D1 right now, and I’m blowing their under the radar status for them. Sorry Jordan. The talent is undeniable here, and the more they put together good showings, the more I like them to keep Trending up. LOSING STREAK BY 12


Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) - The Frodo vibes are getting better, but the Legends roster is just better. Sure, anything can happen, but it won’t here. LEGENDS BY 10



Last Week’s Games:


Cle-Avengers Assemble 47, Practice Squad 26

THREAD 34, Can’t Touch This 33

Mavericks 30, Cle-Avengers Assemble 21

Practice Squad 40, Mavericks 33

Freeballers 42, Scared Hitless 32


Cle-Ass nearly doubles up the score on Practice Squad, before falling to the Mavericks. PS would go on then to beat the Mavericks, so everyone was 1-1 together. The Freeballers picked up yet another victory over Scared Hitless. And THREAD gets another win, beating Can’t Touch This and they’re starting to heat up, but not enough to make the list. 


Trending Up: 


Freeballers - I think it goes without saying right now, they’re one of the hottest teams in the TSL. They’re on a 5 game winning streak, and SH’s 32 points against them last week was the first time someone scored more than 23 on them during this run. Look out. 


Practice Squad - I don’t care that they’re last in the division, they’re finally getting there. They’re 2-1 in their last 3 games, they have cool jerseys, and they have great people. They won’t catch anyone by surprise this year in the playoffs. 

Trending Down:


Scared Hitless - They knew this was coming. After starting hot out of the gate at 2-0, SH has lost 5 straight, and has looked disorganized. 


Can’t Touch This - The Cinderella story is nearly over, as CTT has dropped their last 2 games. They’re still first in the division, but now that the rest of D2 has film on them, they have to be a little worried about how the playoffs are going to go. 

This Week’s Games:


THREAD vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+3) - THREAD continues to be on the rise, and they should probably have a better record than they do. Cle-Ass is still a team with excellent parts, but putting it together has been a slight issue. This isn’t the same team that won D2 last year, even if they’re wearing the tie-dye. THREAD BY 3


The Untouchaballs vs Practice Squad (+6) - I’m sorry PS, this one is on me. I didn’t talk about how good Jeremy Burr and the rest of the Untouchaballs are because they aren’t trending up. Why? Because they were already good. They’re not “up”, they’re just “what they always are”. Either way, they’re going to take it as motivation and I expect an email at 2:02pm telling me “Untouchaballs 37 - Practice Squad 14, who’s trending up NOW?”. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 23

Mavericks vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - These two teams played a pretty even game last week, and no matter who the loser was they were going to tell themselves “we should’ve won that game”. Mavericks get their win back. MAVERICKS BY 7


Freeballers vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - Well, maybe THIS is where I get an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. because UT is getting BOTH “Trending UP” teams this week. This is a clash of the titans, and with Can’t Touch This looking like they can now be touched, we’re looking at a meeting of the best two teams in the division. Arguably the best game of the day, and it’s at 3:00, so if you’re sticking around after your game, this is the one to go watch. FREEBALLERS BY 1



Last Week’s Games:


Keller Whales 39, Bullet Club 38

716 27, Vaspian 12

The Family 40, Wanderers 38


A light day of games for D3 that saw the Keller Whales beat Bullet Club for the second straight week. 716 got a nice win over Vaspian to put them on track, and The Family continues to pick off the best teams in D3, sneaking by the Wanderers. 

Trending Up:


The Family - Duh. Since a Week 1 loss to Bullet Club, They’ve gone 5-1, only losing a 4 point game to Vaspian. They’ve averaged about 400 points a game, Terrell Bolden is flying up the QB Rankings charts, and everyone that plays them who’s been in the league longer than 3 years immediately questions how Pete (Asian, not Pistol) can play in the division, even if he’s old now. Give them the title. 

Trending Down:


Bullet Club - After starting 3-0, BC has gone 0-4, and is struggling to pull it out in close games. 


Wanderers - After starting 2-0, the Wanderers have gone 0-4, and are struggling to pull it out in close games (and a few blowouts). 

This Week’s Games:


Keller Whales vs The Malones (EVEN) - The Malones are playing pretty well, and they were a contender for “trending up”, but they’re not quite there, yet. A win here against the Keller Whales (another almost “Trending up” team themselves) should cement them as a team to be taken seriously. This should be a fun matchup. THE MALONES BY 3


Keller Whales vs Vaspian (EVEN) - Another D3 “even” matchup, which isn’t surprising, given the state of D3. The Keller clan has been looking sharp with Damien at QB, and Vaspian has been as well, even with their usual roster issues. Brian is still making it work though, and Vaspian is looking good. But not good enough this time. KELLER WHALES BY 7


Bullet Club vs Wanderers (EVEN) - It’s hard to believe one of these two teams will be on a five game losing streak, but here we are. Well, I guess they could tie. The Wanderers can pin their rough go on Sal being injured, as any team takes a hit losing their best weapon. BC can pin their rough go on the return of John Langley at QB. These two teams always put up great matchups, and I can’t imagine they won’t here. WANDERERS BY 1


The Family vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - LGR isn’t quite putting it together this season. That’s not to say they’re bad, it just means that they haven’t done it, yet. Last time these teams met, it was a 62-28 blowout, and I’m not sure LGR has closed that gap enough to take this one. THE FAMILY BY 14


Wanderers vs 716 (+3) - 716 is trying to prove they belong in D3, and it's starting to work. They’ve been better as of late, and they get a Wanderers team that isn’t in sync how you expect. 716 has already beaten the Wanderers, so they know they’re capable of doing it again. I have a feeling the Wanderers get their win back though. WANDERERS BY 7



Last Week’s Games:


Father Baker 36, Buffalo Vice 32

Travis Henry’s Kids 24, TMA 18

Buffalo Vice 49, Travis Henry’s Kids 41

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 35, Passing While Intoxicated 0

Father Baker gets another victory, this time beating Buffalo Vice, which is a big win for the ladies. THK would beat TMA, before matching up against Vice and losing. And then ILF just decimated PWI, asserting their dominance. Big win for them. 

Trending Up:


Father Baker - The league’s newest gender team is finally figuring things out as they’ve gone 2-1 in their last three games and they’re heating up at the right time. 


Buffalo Vice/Travis Henry’s Kids - They’re both playing very well this season, and they just split the season series. Both teams will be trouble in the playoffs at this rate. 

Trending Down: 


Cunning Stunts - I know what you’re thinking. How on Earth is a 6-0 team that’s brutalizing their opponents trending DOWN? Because, they’ve been 6-0 since September 9th. They haven’t played a game in weeks. That’s no fun for anyone who’s a big fan of gender teams. Get it together. 

This Week’s Games:


Passing While Intoxicated vs TMA (+8) - PWI got smacked around last week, and they were missing players, including QB Buddy Lee. TMA lost a close one to THK, and they’re showing signs of turning the corner, but they’ve yet to have a game where both the defense and the offense clicks, it’s seemingly one or the other each week. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7


Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars (+6) - Vice has been putting up big numbers, and doing Buffalo Vice things all season. PAS isn’t what they’ve been in the recent past, we’ve covered that, but they’re still piecing together a really nice season. They’re 2-3, but they’re lurking, which is what their MO usually is. Upset(ish) of the day. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 6


Travis Henry’s Kids vs ILF (EVEN) - Both teams are quite similar, and even with THK having Pistol Pete, ILF can counter with Andrew, which should prove to be an interesting matchup. Of course, Pete has approximately a foot of extra height, so it may not even matter. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 2


Cunning Stunts vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - THK upset the Stunts last year, so they know what it takes to beat the ladies on the field. I think both teams will be amped, but my worry for this one is if the Stunts will have any slight rust after 3 weeks of not playing together. Luckily, wanting revenge tends to help with that. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8


Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker (+8) - Last time we saw the Stunts, however, it was in the Gender Bowl as these two teams played to a 53-44 Stunts win that was a lot of fun for those in attendance. With this game at 2:00, I expect another highly watched contest. Father Baker has improved since the last game, but they’re not QUITE there yet. Or are they? CUNNING STUNTS BY 2



Last Week’s Games:


Come From Behind 52, Goatsack! 7

Cobblestone 46, Come From Behind 30

BAADies 32, Creekers 26

GUCCI 46, Not So Sticky 6

GUCCI 44, BAADies 26

Come From Behind gets into the win column in a BIG way over Goatsack! before they get beaten down by Cobblestone. The BAADies get a big win over the Creekers before getting got by GUCCI, who also took down Not So Sticky as they finished their season 6-3 and in the #1 seed (for now) in the division. 

Trending Up:


GUCCI - 3-0 in their last few games to cruise to 6-3, and they’re looking good for the playoffs. 


Cobblestone - You heard it right. 2-1 in their last 3, including a win where they only had 4 people. It’s amazing that after 70 years of football, Darryl can still continue to surprise us. 

Trending Down:


Creekers - Yes, they’re 5-2. But let’s break something down quickly. They’re 5-0 against regular teams but 0-2 against gender teams. Okay, GUCCI isn’t a “gender team” but with Kelly Kane there to chuck TDs, they’re like an honorary one in terms of scoring. The Creekers won’t be able to win D5 without figuring out how to beat a team that always gets 8 point TDs. 

This Week’s Games:


Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Goatsack! (+10) - Spinelli’s has still only played 5 games, but they score points like no other team in the division. I don’t think Goatsack can keep up here. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17


Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - I know, EVEN? Realistically, CFB is going to have an easy time with NSS because this isn’t a playoff game. Hopefully, they’ll avoid them when it counts. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12


Creekers vs Goatsack! (+8) - These two teams already met one this season and it was a one score game. Goatsack can run with the Creekers, who are still new, and prone to “new team” mistakes that GS can take advantage of. But, they keep getting better each week. CREEKERS BY 6



Last Week’s Games: 


Pit Harade 38, Back That Pass Up 15

Blitzkrieg 41, Two Tuddies 21

Pit Harade 52, Sausage McMuffins 7

Sausage McMuffins 37, Mighty Drunks 27

Two Tuddies 42, Back That Pass Up 37


Pit Harade got another win over BTPU before shocking the D6 world with a big win over the Sausage McMuffins to go 2-0 on the week. The McMuffins would get a win over the Mighty Drunks to go to 1-1, but Back That Pass Up wouldn’t be as lucky, also losing to the Tud Buds to end up 0-2. The Tuddies would be 1-1 on the day as well, as they lost to Fall Blitzkrieg earlier in the day. 

Trending Up:


Pit Harade - After a bad start to the season, PH is 4-1, scoring the most points in the division, and they’re shutting teams down on defense as well, with the lone exception being Fall Blitzkrieg who’s beaten them twice. 


Balls Deep - BD is also 4-1 in their last 5 games, and they’re on top of the division right now, only losing to PH during this stretch. They’re not getting talked about the way they should be right now. 

Trending Down:


Sausage McMuffins - Uh Oh, is a repeat of the spring on the way? The McMuffins are 1-2 over their last 3 games, and haven’t looked like the team they were in the beginning of the season. I expect them to get it together (the win over the Drunks helps), so I’m not too worried. Hopefully they aren’t either. 


Just Get Open - JGO started the season 0-2, had some excuses for it, showed up and went 2-0, and then haven’t won since. They’re 2-5, and other than the magical Week 2, haven’t shown much else. 

This Week’s Games:


Fall Blitzkrieg vs Just Get Open (+10) - A rare 9:00 game! If Just Get Open is going to show they’re a force in D6, time is running out. Getting a rather large upset win over FBK would be the place to do it, but right now FBK is operating at a pretty nice level and JGO feels out of sorts. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 8


Balls Deep vs Fall Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - The battle for the #1 overall seed in the division runs through this game specifically. BD has beaten FBK once already this season, but I expect FBK to come back and get a little revenge this time around. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7


Balls Deep vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - Balls Deep finishes their season a week early, and they get a battle with the Mighty Drunks to end it. The Drunks have been all over the place all season, and it’s hard to get a read on them. Because of that, and because I don’t think BD goes 0-2 on the day, I’ll give the Balls the edge. BALLS DEEP BY 8


Sausage McMuffins vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - BTPU may not be winning, but they’re playing much more competitively than they have in the past. That means they’re improving, which is a good thing. The McMuffins, however, have to be looking at this one as a “get right” game. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8


Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - I have no idea what we’re going to get from these teams this week. The Drunks tend to win on athleticism, and this is the perfect spot for that. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 10


Pit Harade vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - While Pit Harade has been playing really well, the Tuddies have been a bit all over the place. I’m not exactly sure what’s “wrong” with the Tuddies, but one has to assume they can snap out of this funk eventually. I’ll take the hot team right now, but not by much. PIT HARADE BY 2


Sausage McMuffins vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - Heck of a matchup between two teams that have shown they can be very, very good, and also confusingly bad at times. Inconsistency is never a good thing, but I think we’re going to get a really good matchup here. TWO TUDDIES BY 2




  • Are the Legends actually in trouble with Joey at QB? They’ve won the last three titles, let’s calm it down a bit with this. But also, yes. 




  • Is running a football league bad for you? It would seem so. Jeff Krol's teams are a combined 2-11 this year, he’s tired all of the time, and he leaves the fields by 1pm every week. Conversely, since giving up control of the TSL, Topper has a Ferrari, is beating the women away from him with a stick, is on the cusp of the most anticipated comeback in TSL history, and rumor has it his hair has returned. You be the judge. 




  •  What “Trending Down” teams do you expect to ‘turn it around’? I’m not counting the Stunts in this, because of course they’ll be fine. I think the real answer is Scared Hitless. They’ve been losing games, but they’re still playing well. They’re a battle tested bunch, and they’re a play or two away from having a couple more wins. 




  • Can you crown any division champions yet? I can’t imagine The Family losing in D3. They’re just too complete in every facet of the game: Offense, Defense, Males, Females, QB. And some of them are still learning the game! Every other division feels up in the air a little bit still. 




  • What are the bar specials this week? I believe that there is an Oktoberfest sampling from 2-4 this week, and there may be beer steins involved? Sounds like a pretty good time. 





  • Breakfast Club Predictions: 
  • BDD 47, Blachuranus 30
  • The Dirty Dozen 45, Steph Infection 42




  • Games of the Day:
  • 9:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Just Get Open
  • 10:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Puckett All-Stars
  • 11:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits
  • 12:00 - ILF vs THK
  • 1:00 - Pit Harade vs Two Tuddies
  • 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Father Baker
  • 3:00 - Freeballers vs The Untouchaballs




  • Global Warming continues to be the MVP of the season, as my Weather Channel app tells me it’ll be 76 degrees and sunny in Buffalo on Saturday. 




  • The TSL podcast was a good listen with Bobby McConnell this week, I didn’t see if there was a new episode of The Roost this week or not yet. The TSL media has been really good all over this season. 




  • THE TSL BANQUET IS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8TH. I’ll repeat this every week so people can’t say “oh man I didn’t know”. 




  • Awesome work by the couple on Back That Pass Up that adopted one of the dogs from Dog Day a few weeks ago! 




  • This season, across the board, feels like one of the most wide open seasons in recent history, and it’s made for some excellent football. The Playoffs are going to be nuts. 




  • One thing that’s been in my email inbox lately has been TSLers talking about how great the new staff has been at the Rose Garden to us. It’s good to hear after many seasons of hearing complaints. 




  • I was informed that a group of TSLers are considering getting a big group from the league to go to Miami for the Bills vs Dolphins game in January. I was told the Freeballers were heading this idea, so if you’re interested, reach out to one of them. 




  • I’ll repeat: be cool to the refs. Things have indeed been better, but now that we’re closer to the games having higher stakes, I want to reiterate that you’ll only hurt your team by being a jerk and getting kicked out. 


Good luck in Week 7. 




Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 15 September 2023 12:52
Published: Friday, 15 September 2023 12:52
Written by Jeff Krol
Hits: 1993

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, The Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has reached its midpoint. That’s right, we’re at halftime of the Fall 2023 season already. We’ve played four very exciting weeks of football, with four to go. By this time, teams are beginning to show their true colors, and we have a pretty good sample size of who are legit contenders for the division titles and who aren’t. (At least for most of the league. There are a few teams that have only played 3 games so far, and then Travis Henry’s Kids, who have somehow only played two games this season.)


So before we really get into the updated Championship Odds and how things are going in each division, let's touch on a few teams that have really come on in the last few weeks. 





  • Legends
  • Can’t Touch This
  • Freeballers
  • The Family
  • The Malones
  • Let’s Get Reccked
  • Buffalo Vice
  • Cunning Stunts
  • ILF
  • Creekers
  • Goatsack!
  • Sausage McMuffins





  • Scared Hitless
  • Practice Squad
  • Wanderers
  • TMA
  • Father Baker
  • Not So Sticky
  • Mighty Drunks
  • Back That Pass Up



Everyone else is somewhere in the middle, but they either need to show a little something more OR they may have just had a bad week or two and I’m not ready to believe they’re in actual trouble. 


Anyway, onto what we’re all here for. 




Odds To Win The Championship:


Legends (3-1) - At this point, the Legends are positioned to take home another D1 championship. They’re 3-0, and they haven’t even had Joey Batts play QB yet. Good luck everyone else. 


Eyes Downtown (5-1) - Eyes Downtown is still going to give the Legends a tough go, especially when they’re at full power. 


Sticky Bandits (7-1) - Sticky Nation is becoming the forgotten team in D1. They’re 2-1, losing recently to ED. I don’t believe they’ve played their best football just yet, and they’re enjoying being ignored. Makes it easier to surprise others. 


Losing Streak (8-1) - Losing Streak has had a rough schedule to start, so don’t let the 2-3 record fool you. They’ve played well in their three losses, and if they clean up their mistakes, they’ll be a true contender. 


Frodo Swaggins (50-1) - It’s been tough sledding for Frodo this season, and a lack of other “lower end” D1 teams isn’t doing their confidence any favors. I’d like to see them add a player or two and stick around D1 a little longer, but I’m starting to feel like we’ll see them head to D2 in the Spring. 

Last Week’s Games:


Eyes Downtown 40, Sticky Bandits 26

Legends 39, Eyes Downtown 38


Eyes Downtown went 1-1 this week, beating Sticky, but they ended up falling just one point short of beating the Legends. The problem is that Travis was playing QB for some reason this week. 


This Week’s Games:


Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - I’m not sure who the Legends QB is going to be. Is it Shbend's turn? Hopefully it’ll be Joey, and we can see just how good the Legends really are. If Sticky is going to put in their chat “I can’t believe we have 7-1 odds!” and are offended, this is the game to prove everyone wrong. LEGENDS BY 12


Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - Maybe THIS is the time ED sneaks by Legends. But probably not. LEGENDS BY 6



Odds To Win The Championship:


Can’t Touch This (2-1) - 2-1 odds seems a bit cocky, but CTT has had zero issues with anyone they’ve played in D2 so far and they look like they can’t be stopped. 


The Untouchaballs (4-1) - But if anyone can stop CTT, it's Untouchaballs. They’re still INCREDIBLY talented, and they played CTT very well. 


Freeballers (5-1) - Do not refresh your page, this is accurate. The Freeballers had two huge wins last week, and for the first time in a long time, it seems like things are going right for this team. But how long will it last?


Mavericks (6-1) - The Mavs have had an up and down season, but despite a not so great game against Freeballers, they still pulled out a gutty victory over THREAD. This team will go as far as its defense lets them. 


THREAD (8-1) - It hasn’t been the prettiest return to football, but it’s not bad either. THREAD has beaten Freeballers and Untouchaballs but also lost twice to the Mavs. Mixed results so far, but if they clean it up (and you know they will) they’re a fun bet at 8-1. 


Cle-Avengers Assemble (10-1) - Cle-Ass finally played a game since Week 1, and they beat Scared Hitless, putting them on the right track. Need to see more from them. 


Scared Hitless (14-1) - SH continues to be the team that has everyone asking “I wonder how good they’d be with a different QB?”. Dylan continues to be a steady mix of inconsistency, sometimes looking like the guy who won D2 not too long ago, and sometimes, well, not. 


Practice Squad (30-1) - The Squad still continues to get stomped on in D2, despite having the talent to put up wins. Still hoping they’ll figure things out in D2. 

Last Week’s Games:


Mavericks 38, THREAD 27

Cle-Avengers Assemble 41, Scared Hitless 30

Can’t Touch This 36, Scared Hitless 23

Freeballers 36, Practice Squad 7

Freeballers 50, Mavericks 20

The Untouchaballs 43, Practice Squad 22


Lots of D2 action last week saw the Mavericks get a nice win over THREAD before getting absolutely throttled by the Freeballers. The Freeballers would be 2-0 on the day after they beat Practice Squad as well, giving them an 86 - 27 score in both games combined. PS would go on to also lose to the Untouchaballs, as another season from hell continues to unfold. Can’t Touch This stays perfect on the season with an easy win over Scared Hitless, would be 0-2 on the day after a loss to Cle-Avengers Assemble as well. 


This Week’s Games:


THREAD vs Practice Squad (+14) - At this point, it's hard not to make PS anything by a double digit underdog against anyone in D2. THREAD continues to prepare for the playoffs. THREAD BY 12


The Untouchaballs vs Scared Hitless (+8) - It’s going to be interesting which Scared Hitless we’ll get, but we’re going to have the usual Untouchaballs who, despite being 3-2, are more locked in than most teams. The fun Mel vs Jaimie matchup/family battle will be enjoyable to watch. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10


Freeballers vs Cle-Avengers Assemble (+7) - The Freeballers had their big week, but whispers think it had more to do with their substitute QB more than anything. A big win this week would prove they’re for real. FREEBALLERS BY 3


Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+8) - There could be nothing better for SH than to prove the doubters (me) wrong and be the first team to knock off CTT. Unfortunately, what they brought to the fields last week won’t cut it. CTT is on too much of a heater right now to lose this one. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6


Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+5) - Well, I said that a big win for Freeballers this week would prove they’re for real. And this is the game I meant. If what we saw from FB last week is who they really are, knocking off the hottest team in the TSL would be it. And they do it. FREEBALLERS BY 2



Odds To Win The Championship:


Bullet Club (4-1) - Bullet Club sits on top of the D3 standings at 3-1, and according to the podcast should probably be 4-0. Not sure who the QB is (I think it’s Langley, not Tommy Hughes), but George has seemed to be a pretty good Pistol Pete replacement. 


The Family (4-1) - The Family had a rough Week 1, but since then they’ve been scoring almost at will. They’re too loaded with talent to be anything but a title contender. Terrell Bolden is getting D3 QB of the Year chatter. 

Let’s Get Reccked (4-1) - Another team with championship aspirations, LGR has been in every game they play, and now that Alex is back, the sky's the limit for this team. 


Wanderers (4-1) - The Wanderers had their worst week in the TSL last weekend, going 0-2 and getting run off the field. That’s an anomaly instead of the norm, and they’ll be right in the thick of things in a few weeks. 


Keller Whales (5-1) - The Keller Whales are a very good team and Damien throwing has been a revelation for them. They’re a small step behind the other teams in the division right now, but that can be easily changed. 


Vaspian (6-1) - Vaspian only has 3 games under their belt this season, but they’re doing okay. If the offense keeps improving, look out. 


The Malones (10-1) - The Malones got their first win last week, as their combination of deep passing, and solid female play finally paid off. The defense still leaves a lot to be desired, but they’re on the right track for sure. 


716 (15-1) - 716 got a huge win over the Wanderers this weekend to move to 1-3 on the season. However, they looked overmatched a bit in their games against The Family, Bullet Club, and Let’s Get Reccked. They COULD put together a run in the playoffs, but will they? 

Last Week’s Games:


The Malones 50, Bullet Club 37

The Family 44, Keller Whales 37

716 52, Wanderers 46

Let’s Get Reccked 57, Wanderers 14


The Malones finally get their first win of the season with a nice win over Bullet Club. The Family continues to roll, doing battle with the Keller Whales and barely surviving. 716 pulled a shocking upset over the Wanderers, who would then lay a giant egg on the field against LGR.


This Week’s Games: 


Bullet Club vs Keller Whales (+3) - These two teams always play close ones. This one could really go either way, but we’ll assume Langley will ruin it in the second half. KELLER WHALES BY 3


Bullet Club vs Vaspian (+7) - A rematch from earlier in the season where Bullet Club kind of dominated Vaspian on both sides of the ball. Vaspian should play better this time around, but how much better? BULLET CLUB BY 10


Let’s Get Reccked vs The Malones (+7) - The Malones rely on the deep ball more often than not, and now they play a team that can take that away with the talent they have on the back end. LGR is playing some great football, and with The Malones still figuring out defense, they might be in for a long one here. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 17


Wanderers vs Vaspian (+3) - The Wanderers look to get back on track this week against Vaspian. Vaspian wasn’t done any favors by the scheduler this week. WANDERERS BY 2


The Family vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Bet the over. If LGR is locked in on offense, we could be in for some fireworks. THE FAMILY BY 6


The Malones vs 716 (+7) - 716 really wants to put themselves on the map. Especially after reading they’ve got the lowest odds to win the D3 title earlier in this article. They still have some work to do. THE MALONES BY 8



Odds To Win The Championship:


Cunning Stunts (3-1) - The Stunts are 6-0, scoring 47 points a game, and look every bit as good as they’ve ever been. 


Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (5-1) - ILF is a single point away from being 3-0 and not only that, giving the Stunts a loss. They now know they can hang with anyone in D4. 


Buffalo Vice (6-1) - Buffalo Vice can just score at will. They throw the ball around the field to males and females alike, and when they’re really on, look out. The defense leaves a bit to be desired, and unless they shore that up a bit, a D4 title seems out of reach. 


Puckett All-Stars (6-1) - This isn’t exactly the Puckett that won D4, but they’re still dangerous. We’re used to them being 4-0 and dunking on the league, but we aren’t there this season, yet. Sleeping Giant status engage. 


Travis Henry’s Kids (8-1) - They’re good. They improved where they had to. But they’ve only played two games and it’s going to be hard to really decipher where they should be ranked. So the middle it is. 


Passing While Intoxicated (10-1) - PWI got itself back on track last week with a win. This team consistently improves every season, and I can’t imagine they won’t be better than ever over the next 6 games. 


Father Baker (15-1) - Great roster. Great players. Great QB if Bobby plays. There’s still a defensive learning curve, and you’re seeing just that. Give them a few more games, but if they come back in the Spring, look out. 


TMA (25-1) - There’s a lot to work on for this version of TMA, and while progress is being made, it might not be enough for this season. 


Last Week’s Games:


Passing While Intoxicated 39, TMA 32

Buffalo Vice 57, Puckett All-Stars 36

Cunning Stunts 45, TMA 22

ILF 36, Father Baker 18

Cunning Stunts 53, Father Baker 44


PWI gets into the win column as they outlast TMA, who would go on to also lose to the Stunts later on. The Stunts would get a fun victory over Father Baker, as we got a nice gender team battle that went down to the wire. Father Baker was 0-2 on the day with an earlier loss to ILF as well. Buffalo Vice put up 57 to get by Puckett. 

This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - We’ll see how well THK matches up with the division very quickly, as they get Vice right away. The Vice offense is dialed in, and it's going to be hard for THK to get right to their level after not really playing much this season. BUFFALO VICE BY 17


Father Baker vs TMA (EVEN) - Our two winless D4 teams face off, which means they’re going to tie. Realistically, TMA is pretty good on offense, and with FB still working on defense this is a perfect time for TMA to bring one home. TMA BY 9


Puckett All-Stars vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - These teams have had some doozies in the past, but let's look at the future. We’re primed for a pretty good game here between two teams that matchup nicely here. However, PWI was matching up nicely against the “juggernaut-ish” PAS, and this is a slightly weaker version. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 1


Buffalo Vice vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+3) - Vice will be a little tired after the game against THK, but there’s just something special that I feel about ILF this season. Perhaps a team of destiny? ILF BY 7


ILF vs THK (+6) - Well, I can’t say Vice beats THK and ILF beats Vice without saying INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 13


Passing While Intoxicated vs Father Baker (+8) - Even with PWI playing better, I’m not sure how they stack up to the talent on FB. I can’t explain it, but I think PWI doesn’t have the girl power to run with FB and we’re going to get a little bit of shock here. FATHER BAKER BY 2



Odds To Win The Championship:


Creekers (4-1) - One of the biggest storylines of the Fall season has been the emergence of the Creekers, who now sit at 4-1, 3rd in the super secret Topper TSL Rankings, and they own wins over Come From Behind and Goatsack so far. A classic case of taking one step back to take two steps forward. They’re now D5 favorites. 


Come From Behind (5-1) - One of TSL’s cornerstone franchises, CFB finds themselves right in the thick of the D5 title race. Their only loss has been to the Creekers so far, and there’s a very real chance they’ll be standing with the champagne in October. 


Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1) - Call this one a hunch, as we’ve only seen Spinelli’s for ONE of our first four weeks, they played a triple header, and the results were weird. They squeaked by Not So Sticky, only scoring 26 points. Then they put up 52 points in a loss to the BAADies. Then they beat GUCCI 45 - 14. I don’t know which team they are, but they tend to be the ones that win 45-14. They’ve been one of the better offenses the last few years, but we’ll get a better feeling for where they stand this week as they play a double header against Creekers and CFB. 


GUCCI (8-1) - GUCCI finds themselves in a little bit of a different spot than last season, as they’re now 3-3, and lurking in the middle of the standings instead of winning the “regular season championship” like they did last season. Currently on a 3 game losing streak, things get easier for their final three games as their opponents are currently a combined 3-11-1, and the only team that has any wins are the BAADies, that GUCCI has already beaten. They’ll get back on track heading into the playoffs.


GOATSACK! (10-1) - Goatsack! has had a nice season on paper. They’re 3-2-1, and they’re currently 6th in the TSL Topper Rankings. When you dive into it, however, the three wins are against NSS (2) and Cobblestone (1). They tied the BAADies in a dramatic comeback fashion, lost by 14 to GUCCI in Week 1, and just lost a one possession game to the Creekers last week. It’s tough not to wonder if they’re just paper tigers (er, paper goats?). We’ll find out a lot more about them in the next 3 games as they have a gauntlet of CFB-Spinelli’s-Creekers to end the season. 


BAADies (12-1) - The BAADies sprinted out to a 3-2-1 record themselves, and after a slow start really started to find a groove. However, they have two weeks off in a row, and you have to wonder if the good mojo they were collecting is going to go away just as they were figuring things out. The Creekers are up next for them before rematches with GUCCI and Spinelli’s. Let’s hope they kept it together. 


Cobblestone (20-1) - As usual, Darryl’s collection of athletes and his family continue to let him 

But don’t let the record fool you. Other than a two score loss to the Creekers, Cobblestone has lost by a score each time, meaning a play made here or there and we could be looking at a 3-1 team. 


Not So Sticky (25-1) - Not So Sticky is dumb to pay attention to this season. I’m not entirely sure why they feel “off” this season, but this team is too talented and has been playing too well the last few seasons to wake up this morning and be 0-5. Yet this offense is anemic, averaging just over 17 points, which is slightly less than what the Cunning Stunts average on their first two drives of the game. 

Last Week’s Games:


Goatsack! 29, Cobblestone 28

Creekers 43, Goatsack! 33

Come From Behind 38, GUCCI 23


Goatsack! split their doubleheader last week, slipping by Cobblestone before falling by a score to the Creekers, who continue to be the class of the league. CFB gets a second straight win over GUCCI, who’s having a lull in the middle of the Fall season here. 

This Week’s Games:


Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+6) - Spinelli’s makes their return (again) to the fields this week, and they’ve got a doozy. The Creekers are on fire, and currently rule the roost. They haven’t faced an offense like Spinelli’s yet though, as they can literally score at any time, from anywhere. D5’s championship picture gets more murky. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 12


Cobblestone vs Not So Sticky (+3) - Another battle of the winless this week in the TSL as we get a classic matchup of Coronas vs Huggie Bombs. One team is going to get out of its own way enough to pull out their first win of the season. And it's the team with better hair. COBBLESTONE BY 14


GUCCI vs Cobblestone (+7) - GUCCI looks to get off the schneid against Cobblestone, who like I said earlier will not be as easy of an out as it looks on paper. GUCCI has too much talent to get this losing streak to 4 games. GUCCI BY 10


Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - Spinelli’s gets one heck of a double header this week against the top two teams in the league. While they’d be happy to go 1-1 on the day, they have their sights set on the D5 title and this is the week they officially announce they’re back. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10




Odds To Win The Championship:


Sausage McMuffins (3-1) - Being the favorites at this point last year did nothing for the Muffs, as last season’s late slide led to playoff heartbreak. Even with a loss to Fall Blitzkrieg, they have convincing wins over JGO, Balls Deep, and the Mighty Drunks. They’re going to be tough to beat. 


Two Tuddies (5-1) - The Tuddies seem to be back on track after a weird start to the season. They’ve now had two straight wins over quality opponents and look like the team that should’ve gone up to D5 that we thought they were. 


Fall Blitzkrieg (6-1) - The temperature is dropping, which can only mean one thing: It’s Hoodie Season. FBK is 2-1 so far this season, with close wins over the McMuffs and Pit Harade, and a blowout loss to Balls Deep. We’ll see what they’re made of in the coming weeks for sure. 


Balls Deep (8-1) - What a weird team. Balls Deep is 3-2, holding wins over Two Tuddies and Blitzkrieg. (And Back That Pass Up, but whatever). They’ve also been blown out by the McMuffins, and they lost to the previously winless Pit Harade. I’m not sure who they are as a team just yet, but they get another crack at the McMuffins this week, so we’re going to find out quickly. 


Just Get Open (8-1) - Inconsistency, thy name is JGO. Lose two games, put up 110 points in the next two, lose to the Tuddies. JGO is really figuring things out, and just when you think they’ve done it, they take a step back. They get an immediate rematch with the Tuddies, so we’ll see who they are this week for sure. 


Mighty Drunks (8-1) - After one week, the Drunks were 2-0, and outscored teams 92 -38. Since then, they’re 0-3 in losses to JGO, the Tud Buds, and the McMuffins, being outscored a combined 134 - 63. Not great. That’s why the Drunks find themselves in the “inconsistent middle teams that are all 8-1 odds” section. 


Pit Harade (10-1) - After a brutal first game of the season for PH, things have gotten better for them. They nearly beat FBK, beat Balls Deep, and dominated Back That Pass Up. Not sure if Dave Walter or Gordon is the QB, but they have two excellent players in Tall Guy and Fast Guy, and arguably the best female in the division in ‘Ray’. This team is trending up. 


Back That Pass Up (50-1) - BTPU got their first win this season over the Tuddies, but there hasn’t been too much else to get excited about. QB Buddy Lee has a reliable target in long time TSLer James “Hitman” Hearn, and a couple of other guys that are solid but that’s about it.This team needs a little more work to really contend for a title. 

Last Week’s Games:


Two Tuddies 44, Just Get Open 32

Pit Harade 34, Back That Pass Up 14

Sausage McMuffins 49, Mighty Drunks 14


The Tud Buds get back to form with a solid team win over a good JGO team. Pit Harade makes it two in a row with a win over BTPU. And the McMuffins stay on top of D6 with an absolute drubbing of the Mighty Drunks. 


This Week’s Games: 


Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+7) - Balls Deep can quiet any talk about “are they good enough to win D6” with a statement win here over the McMuffins. It won’t be easy. I have a feeling Alex and Co are well aware of how poorly things went for them in the second half of last season, and they’ll be focused on preventing history from repeating itself. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8


Two Tuddies vs Just Get Open (+4) - A rematch of last weekend, where the Tuddies took by 8 points. I think JGO will look better in this game, but right now I think the Tuddies are heating up, and they’re going to continue that trend. TWO TUDDIES BY 2


Blitzkrieg vs Mighty Drunks (+6) - The Drunks have been playing some bad football the last few weeks, but Blitzkrieg has only played once since Week 1, which was about a month ago. You have to wonder if there’s some rust on the squad they’ll be looking to shake off because of it. Getting an opponent that’s all over the place can only help. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 7


Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+6) - These teams had a close game that BK pulled out near the end of it back in Week 1. Since then, PH has been on a two game winning streak and looking better than they have in the past. This will be a big game to see if PH really can stand with the better teams in the division or not. Until they prove it, I have to go with the hoodie. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 3. 




  • Which teams really need a win this week? GUCCI immediately comes to mind. The D5 darlings from last season are on a 3 game losing streak and need to snap that. The Mighty Drunks are right there with them, as the wheels seem to be falling off over there. 




  • Who are the “best bets”, odds-wise, at this point? I’m not going to take the top teams here, and instead I’ll look for teams with higher odds, yet still have a good chance to win. Eyes Downtown (5-1), Mavericks (6-1), Keller Whales (5-1, but it’s cheating since everyone else is 4-1), THK (8-1), Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1), and Just Get Open (8-1) are all great bets, and one heck of a parlay. 




  • Can you give us your midseason predictions for the championships? Well of course I can, I just don’t want to spoil the playoffs for you. The Legends seem unbeatable and they’re not in their final form yet. The Untouchaballs are going to upset Can’t Touch This. The Family is going to keep scoring points as they get ready for D2 next spring. The Cunning Stunts will surprise people and NOT blow it in the playoffs. Spinelli’s Plumbing will boat race everyone to a title. And the Two Tuddies will take home the gold.




  • Speaking of gold, have you ever considered getting division trophies? The TSL, back in the old days, used to have plaques that hung up in the Rose Garden with the champions. I can’t imagine the bar will let us do that again, but perhaps we COULD swing something for each division. I think the powers that be may discuss this in the offseason. What would YOU like to see? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  and I’ll let Jeff, Joe K, Travis, and Elmo know. 




  • One last prediction for us, best double digit odds team out there that could win the title? Scared Hitless at 14-1. I know, they just had a bad week and looked “not great” as I was told. I know, I just predicted them to go 0-2 this week and fall to 2-4 overall. But it’s not impossible for them to also go 2-0 this week, they’ll be 4-2, and people will remember “Oh yeah, this was just a D1 team”. The talent is there. The football knowledge is there. Sometimes they struggle to get it together. But when they do? They’re EXCELLENT. That didn’t just go away. 





  • Dog Day was a complete success! It was great seeing your photos of TSLers with the bunch of pups and cats that the Animal Shelter brought. They raised some money for the animals, AND I heard that some of them even got adopted! That’s awesome, and word is that this may become an annual event. 




  • B’s Brother has yet to release a new CD or a new list of hottest females in the league. He also hasn’t made a Madden team in years. He’s really slacking, but as we all know, the best creative minds need time and only give us something when they’re ready. 




  • I’ve heard there’s been more people at the bar this season than in recent years, including new teams. Considering how important that “bar time” is to this league’s history, it’s good to hear about. 




  • Speaking of the bar, this week’s specials are Green Tea shots, which can only mean trouble. Word is that next week, Woodcock Brothers will be there from 2-4 with 2 kegs handing out samples. Can the TSL drain two kegs in 2 hours? We used to be able to. 




  • Breakfast Club Predictions: 
  • BDD 48, Steph’s Misty Infection 44
  • The Dirty Dozen 33, Blachuranus 27




  • Games of the Day: 
  • 10:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
  • 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Keller Whales
  • 12:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends
  • 1:00 - Creekers vs Spinelli’s Plumbing
  • 2:00 - Let’s Get Reccked vs The Family
  • 3:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade




  • The world’s greatest party, the TSL Banquet is locked in for Friday, December 8th. SAVE. THE. DATE. Drinking, Awards, Drinking, Dancing, and Drinking are all on the slate as we have our annual “wedding without the wedding” party that is the most fun you can ever have. 




  • Annual “be nice to your refs” statement goes here. Although I didn’t have any issues reported to me this week, so we’re getting better! 




  • I was surprised to hear that the TSL got a second podcast recently! While the TSL Podcast with Joe K, Garrett, and Becca has been great this season, apparently other TSLers have started up “The Roost”, another podcast about the TSL. Just another way the TSL continues to give you fantastic media to go along with the best Social Co-Ed Touch Football Experience you could ever have. Give it a listen! 




  • Speaking of the TSL Awards Banquet And Fun Extravaganza, we’ll be getting to the time where the TSL Committee will be looking for nominations for the awards! Best Male/Female in each division, Best QB, and a host of other awards will need your nominations. So if you see someone not getting the credit they deserve, tell someone from the league (or email me about it and I’ll pass it along) so we can get them noticed and on the ballot! 




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